Funny / Steven Universe: Future

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Remember when White and Spinel used to be scary?

Title Sequence

• Steven is driving a car, and Garnet is sitting, cross-legged, on the roof, completely still, while Bismuth is leaning out the window, whooping and hollering.
  • And Peridot is on a skateboard.
• There's something hilariously on-the-nose about the opening version of "Happily Ever After" replacing the line "nothing to fear, no one to fight" with dead silence as the camera pans to our apparent antagonists.
• Mayor Nanefua has a bunch of Rubies as her new bodyguards, complete with suits and dark glasses, as a Freeze-Frame Bonus.
• Peridot repeating "Steven Universe Future!" at the end of the song.
  • She also does this in her "FREEDOM IS MINE" pose, a.k.a. when she first appeared as Small!Peridot.

Little Homeschool

• Steven keeps the Diamond liquid that he needs to uncorrupt Gems in bottles shaped like their heads/hair.
• When Cherry Quartz finds the plunger, she picks it up and points it threateningly at Steven. You almost expect her to ask "Is this a weapon?"
  • Steven also pushes the plunger out of the way by touching the cup. With his hand.
• "We have reading material, available in both English and Gem Glyph. Spanish translation forthcoming." That line just comes out of nowhere and is never revisited again.
  • One of the pamphlets in question is titled "You and your NEW HORNS". It kind of reminds you of something else, doesn't it?
  • The Diamonds on the 'Era 3 and Me' pamphlet have absolutely goofy designs. White looks like Betty Boop, while Yellow and Blue look like something out of Chowder or Gravity Falls (Blue for some reason looks like Grunkle Stan)
• As Steven is driving Cherry Quartz to Little Homeschool, he narrates how things have changed, and you think that it's just for the benefit of the audience... and then you have Cherry Quartz, who doesn't know what the heck he's talking about.
  • When he's talking about Connie prepping for college, she's drawn like the Lofi hip-hop study mix girl
  • Well, whaddayaknow. Cartoon Network went and made an actual lofi hip-hop study mix video starring Connie.
• Pearl teaching the other Gems how to talk on the phone (or the 'human short-ranged telecommunications device') by having a Holo-Pearl call her and have a conversation with her in its stilted, robotic voice.
• Steven yelling at Jasper for stepping on a beetle.
  • Her excuse is that any Earthling invading her space gets crushed, and that it took her forever to yank the puny green ones out of the ground.
    Steven: You mean grass?
    Jasper: I don’t know their names!
  • Just the fact that Jasper's greatest challenge on Earth was grass.
  • Later in that same scene, Steven's priorities while fighting with Jasper? Saving a nest of baby birds.
    Jasper: Stop trying to help those tiny flapping earthlings and fight me!
  • During the fight, Steven throws the bubble of baby birds back up into a tree in the manner of a basketball... and then says "touchdown", a(n American) football term. Which is funnier: Steven doesn't know anything about sports, or in the alternate universe of the show basketball has touchdowns?
• Jasper tells Steven that the only way for him to prove anything is to fight her. When he agrees Jasper smiles like a child whose parent just agreed to buy them a new toy. What adds to it is her surprised "Really?" like she wasn't actually expecting Steven to agree.
• Amethyst slurping on a straw for a whole two seconds when Steven starts talking about wanting to help Jasper (and it's implied this is a conversation they've had many times before).

Guidance

• One of the Nephrites is helping Andy do skywriting, demonstrating by making a picture of Steven. Except she's a bit of a perfectionist, as seen by the many crossed-out drafts.
• Larimar's fascination with screaming is just as hilarious as it is disturbing. It becomes a running gag throughout the episode.
  Larimar: One day I'll make you scream, Steven.
• After Steven thinks he's helped everyone by meddling with Amethyst's perfectly functional employment system... The star Iris Out begins to close around Steven, before a piece of pizza flies into the shot and the show resumes.
• In general, Steven's "helping" only caused chaos.
  • Larimar doesn't know how to stop the rollercoaster, causing it to go crazy.
  • The Quartzes are too rowdy to properly run a pizza place. They just keep throwing pizza everywhere.
  • When Bixbite tries to catch some stray balloons, she just cuts them instead.
  • When the chaos reaches the main boardwalk, the Rubies start to panic and set fire to everything.
• As Steven comes back to ask Amethyst for her help, Amethyst is seen drinking straight flavored syrup from an otherwise empty snow cone cup with the biggest "I told you so" face possible.
• After realizing where he went wrong, Steven tells Amethyst they need to "Go un-help everyone."
• You'd think Smoky's plan to save the small biplane would be something simple and effective thanks to a combination of Amethyst's and Steven's quick thinking. But no, by the time they're done the plane is in two pieces, on fire, frozen and crushed.
  • After Smoky has saved Andy and Snowflake, they awkwardly crack a joke and then ask seriously if they're okay. Andy and Snowflake can only nod mutely.
• Smoky Quartz taking a moment of their Bullet Time to take a selfie with Sour Cream's phone.
• Smoky goes to stop the rollercoaster after saving the passengers... and their Bullet Time wears off. The rollercoaster then goes flying off into the water, and, after a few seconds, explodes.
  Smoky: Well, sometimes you save all the people, but the rollercoaster still crashes into the ocean. (rollercoaster explodes in the background, and Smoky doesn't even look) And that's OK.
• Even after going back to being Nanefua's bodygard (just in time to save her from a small but angry dog), the flower-girl Ruby keeps the bonnet on.
• Larimar comes to Steven at the end with a surprise for him, and asks him to guess what it is. It's a stuffed bear... that is twice her size.
• At the end of the episode, Onion floats by in the wreckage of the roller coaster car, and Steven realizes they forgot to rescue him. He shrugs it off when he notices Onion appears to be fine.

Rose Buds

• Some of the places Steven tries to put the portrait of Rose in are absolutely nonsensical, like the bathroom.
• Roughly two years later, and the Zoomans still hold a grudge against Greg for rejecting them.
• Holly Blue is frustrated that nobody listens to her anymore, and one of the Amethysts tries to cheer her up by throwing a flower crown on her.
• Holly complains that all the Diamonds ever talk about anymore is Steven, and only then notices said Steven standing right next to her. She then makes the Diamond salute and slides away, obviously mortified.
  Steven: Hi, Holly. (Beat) Bye, Holly.
• Amethyst literally bowling the Famethyst over, like she's a bowling ball and they're the pins.
• Apparently, Rose Quartzes look and act like Valley Girls.
• The context might not be funny, but the characters' horrified reactions to seeing the previously-bubbled Rose Quartzes are hilarious. During Steven's awkward meeting with the Roses, the Famethysts barge in doing a conga line and Amethyst is utterly shocked in the middle of it.
  • Amethyst—being shorter than even the shortest of the Famethyst—has to shapeshift her arms comically long to reach the shoulders of the Gem in front of her in the conga.
• Garnet and Pearl say that they need to use the bathroom when they have dinner with the Rose Quartzes. Greg walks in and sees them, and just nopes right out of there.

  Greg: I can feel the rest of my hair falling out!

  Steven: Dad, wait! Wanna join us for dinner?

  Greg: (after seeing the one that looks like Steven's mother) Nope!!! (runs off)

  • As he comes in, Pearl gives a pitiful "Yeah, this is happening" gesture.
  • Apparently Greg has a "history", and the Zoomans showing up at Beach City isn't the first time a number of his exes have shown up out of the blue all at once.
• Super Fan Rose saying the following, which only makes everything worse:
  Super Fan Rose: This is so great! I'm dying! I'm dying! I am dead, I AM DEAD ROSE QUARTZ!
  Steven: (agonized laughter)
• "She's not her, it's not weird." "STEVEN, ISN'T THIS SUPER WEIRD!?"

Volleyball

• There's something oddly funny about Steven wearing a doctor's outfit.
• Look at the table behind Steven when he's playing doctor— it's covered in bottles of water. Because hydration is very important when it comes to smooching.
• A cracked gem causes a Ruby guard to have a comically stretched-out neck.
  Steven: So! How would you like your Magical Healing Spit administered today?
  Ruby Guard: Ah, geez, uh... the not-kissing one?
  • Said Ruby swinging from stoic professionalism to childish glee over a Post-Treatment Lollipop is both funny and adorable.
• Not thirty seconds later, several of the Quartzes in Little Homeworld come in for cracked gems.
  Steven: Volleyball must be getting really wild, huh?
• Steven later feels the need to remind everyone that volleyball is not a contact sport.
• Pink Pearl's disgust at Steven's healing spit.
  Steven: Yeah, sorry, this part's never not gross.
• At one point, one of the Quartzes just randomly goes flying through the air behind Steven and the Pearls, landing in a big sand explosion.
• The fact that Pink Pearl's nickname is now "Volleyball".
  • Steven suggests this nickname after being hit in the head with a volleyball, with Pearl being hit herself a minute or so later.
• For a majority of the episode Pearl is passive-aggressive with Pink Pearl, and Pink Pearl is so Innocently Insensitive it leads to some funny back and forth.
  Pearl: I love your energy. It reminds me of when I was younger.
  Pink Pearl: I'm older than you.
  [Pearl goes Wide Eyes and Shrunken Irises and gets hit in the head with a volleyball]
• Pink Pearl shows off a ribbon wand given to her by Pink Diamond. Our Pearl condescendingly remarks about the former being overly attached to such a keepsake...while trying to pry the wand out Pink Pearl's hand.

Bluebird

• Bluebird's attempt at Toilet Paper Prank results in Steven's car having several rolls of toilet paper neatly stacked on top of it.
  Steven: At least I don't have to pick up more toilet paper.
  • Their general grasp on pranking is hilariously gentle; besides the aforementioned Toilet Paper Prank, their "Kick Me" Prank sign asks people to compliment Steven's smell and their juice box switcheroo merely swaps it for tomato soup, which everyone keeps pointing out Steven likes anyway.
• Steven points out how suspicious it is that Aquamarine and Eyeball Ruby came to make nice despite their past behavior, to which Pearl replies (with extreme deadpan) that this is the literal offer that Steven gave.
• Aquamarine and Eyeball being somewhat baffled that everyone already knew that Bluebird was just them fused together.
• Aquamarine still believes Greg's name is "My Dad".
• When they start infighting, Aquamarine and Eyeball take on each other like a pair of toddlers in the playground, exchanging harmless hits and sand throws and even prompting Steven to step in as the grownup in the room. This also happens to prove Steven was right. Aquamarine is weak (without her wand at least).
• Steven tells Aquamarine and Eyeball that fusion works best based on mutual love and understanding. They end up finding his preachy lecture annoying and fuse again using The Power of Hate. Steven is just done at this point.
  Eyeball: Wowy-wow! He is so annoying!
  Aquamarine: I hate him so much!
  Eyeball/Aquamarine: (Look at each other) I know! Me too!
  Steven (annoyed): Are you kidding me?
• When the Gems catch Bluebird trying to kill Steven, Bluebird tries to play it off by (badly) hiding the sword behind her back and acting innocent. Without a word, the Gems fuse into Alexandrite, who huffs angrily before smushing Bluebird into the sand with one hand.
• Greg mourning his hair, which he had to cut off to escape from Bluebird. This leads to the gems coming outside to ask why he's locked in the bathroom crying.
  • Steven also treats it like Serious Business. Seeing his dad's hair get cut enrages him enough for him to go into Pink Steven form. He also calls Greg 'Father'.
  Steven: Father, go inside. (Greg takes his hair and runs) I won't let you get away with this!
• At the end of the episode, Aquamarine and Eyeball pulling a Villain: Exit, Stage Left.
  Aquamarine: (hoisting Eyeball into the air) You may have gotten us this time, but we’ll be out there!
  Eyeball: Hating you!
  Aquamarine: Forever!
  Eyeball: YOU SMELL! (they disappear with A Twinkle in the Sky, Team Rocket-style)

A Very Special Episode

• Rainbow Quartz 2.0's chipper, Mary Poppins-esque cleanup song going steadily more out of control as they become increasingly creeped out by Onion's behavior.
  Rainbow Quartz 2.0: Next time, wash your dishes! (An incredibly creepy doll of Steven waves from behind the shelf) Can you... please explain what this is? Alright...(Onion blows repeated kisses) Thank you for the kisses. Okay, I'm gonna need like... five minutes.
• Garnet's face taking up the entire screen on Steven's phone when the former calls the latter. The visual of a rectangular box with Garnet's face on it is funny in itself, but one must wonder how close she's holding the phone up to her in order for it to not even show her chin.
• An episode after Greg gets an Important Haircut, and Onion has somehow gotten possession of a bag of hair.
• Sunstone's home safety tips include turning off the motion smoothing on your TV.
• Steven leaves the Gems in the Safety Seminar with Garnet while he goes to take care of Onion. When he comes back, they have undone all the safety tips Sunstone had given them, including turning the motion smoothing back on.
  Garnet: It's great for football.
• Rainbow Quartz 2.0 making Onion slide up the banister to send him back to his room... only for Onion to run back downstairs so they could do it again. And again, and again...
• Pearl goes from being able to fight in a rebellion without any trouble to being completely unable in taking care of Onion.
  • In general, both Pearl and Garnet display amusing levels of incompetence as the episode goes on, with the latter acting as if the lesson about future paranoia never happened. This should be a hint something's off.
  • Garnet's first comment to Steven when he arrives at the beach house is hilarious just because it's Garnet saying it.
    Garnet: Steven, help. I think I'm scaring them.
  • Garnet's next lesson when Steven has to leave to help Pearl with Onion again.
    Garnet: Let me tell you all the ways you can get hit by a car.
    Steven: Ah! Garnet! Forget it; I'll stay, I'll stay!
    Pearl: (over the phone) STEVEN, THERE'S A SNAKE!
    Steven: NEVER MIND! (runs off while Pearl screams hysterically)
• Onion going full-on horror movie villain on Pearl. There's even background music that sounds similar to the Halloween theme.
  • The way Pearl says "Steven, you were never like this! You were such a good kid! I'm so sorry I never told you!" makes it sound as though she fully expects Onion to kill her.
• Onion's creepy wall writings include "I <3 Rainbow", "Best Friends Forever" and "Steven is cool too".
• A lot of Rainbow Quartz 2.0's faces towards Onion just scream "I'm getting real tired of you, you little shit!"
• Sunstone takes the Little Homeschool students skateboarding, and they pick up their boards before they cross the street. However, the Heaven and Earth Beetles are so small, they don't only share a skateboard, they have to carry it overhead like a canoe.
• Steven's suffering is, for once, Played for Laughs, and it's hilarious.
  Garnet: You shouldn't have brought him [Onion] here, Steven.
  Steven: No, no, no, it's fine. I- It's good. No one needs safety training more than Onion. I'm combining all my responsibilities into one responsibility. It's- it's brilliant. It's fine. I'm fine. Really, I'm fine. It's fine. I'm fine.
• It seems that for recently uncorrupted Gems, grasswhistles enable them to be led around like the rats after the Pied Piper, complete with dilated pupils, as Onion demonstrates when he uses one moments after Rainbow 2.0 brings him to Garnet's seminar.
• Steven spends the entire episode getting more and more stressed trying to run back and forth fusing with Pearl and Garnet, respectively. Near the end, when Pearl and Garnet are literally fighting over who Steven needs to fuse with to save the Little Homeschool Gems when they fall off a cliff, Pearl physically pulls Steven out from Sunstone to fuse with him. Then Amethyst comes running in.
  Amethyst: Wait a minute! I need Steven!
  Steven: What is it, Amethyst?
  Amethyst: I just miss you, man! I haven't seen you in, like, eleven minutes!
• After Steven faints from exhaustion, Garnet does a Big "NO!"...in the most disinterested way possible.
  • The whole scene is set up to look like a typical Very Special Episode or PSA where the protagonist dies because of their bad life choices and their loved ones mourn them, only here, Steven 'dies' because he overbooked his schedule.
• The ending, where the entire episode is revealed to be yet another PSA starring Sunstone.
  • And especially the part where Sunstone randomly gives Ocean Jasper a guitar.
  • Seriously, this is like the Crewniverse going, "Hey, we should do another episode with Uncle Grandpa. Oh, that series is over? Meh, we'll do one like it anyway."
  • There's also the fact that Rainbow 2.0 and Sunstone, two of the rarest fusions in a series whose fans rabidly clamor for the appearance of any fusion, are the main characters for this episode, and they're relegated to what amounts to non-canonical, fourth-wall breaking jokes.
  • Sunstone not only appears in what looks to be the set of the Dove Self-Esteem Project series, but there's a picture of director Lamar Abrams posing with Peridot in the corner. What makes this truly a Mind Screw is that Peridot, one of the smallest, if not the smallest Crystal Gem, is bigger than Lamar.

Snow Day

• When Garnet offers Steven a pepperoni pizza, an annoyed Steven reminds her that he's recently gone vegetarian.
  Garnet: (slightly disappointed) I was sure we were in the pepperoni timeline.
• Steven tries to get to Little Homeworld despite the massive snowdrifts outside by taking the warp pad. Garnet warns him that might not be a good idea, and she's proven right when Steven hastily teleports back, covered in snow.
• Steven's reaction to Amethyst stating that getting tagged in their game of Steven Tag means Steven has to turn into "Classic Steven". He looks and sounds downright OFFENDED at the idea of that.
• Garnet claims she can't find Cat Steven in order to lure human Steven into a trap to get tagged by Amethyst. Right before he opens the cupboard where Amethyst is hiding, he looks to Garnet and there's a Freeze-Frame Bonus of Garnet holding Cat Steven even as she's making Steven look for her.
• The moment Pearl seems to have been suddenly attacked, but in actuality, it's just that she got tagged by Steven!Garnet.
• Pearl shapeshifting into Steven is accompanied by this line: "THE POWER OF STEVEN TAG COMPELS ME!"
• Steven manages to distract Steven!Pearl by throwing some of his trademark red shirts on the floor, causing the latter to drop everything and fold them in a panic.
• When the game of Steven Tag gets dragged outside, the Crystal Gems pull out all the stops by introducing Steven versions of their fusions: Sugilite, Sardonyx, Opal, and even Alexandrite!
  • Steven!Opal using Steven!Garnet as an arrow.
• How the game finally concludes. Steven blasts his way through the Pearl, Amethyst, and Ruby and lands on top of the lighthouse. Confident that he's won, he turns his back on them... and walks straight into Sapphire, who had stayed on top of the lighthouse rather than jumping off with the rest of them.
• Steven makes the most hilarious petulant face when he reluctantly shape-shifts into "Classic Steven" size. It's also kind of funny to see how big his clothes look on him.
• Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl giving Steven the puppy dog eyes as they apologize to him.

Why So Blue?

• When Steven befriends one of the plant aliens, Lapis snarks that he must be getting rusty since it took him five whole seconds to do so.
• Lapis saying that the other Lapises aren't "nice like me". Steven's response is just "Umm..." and Lapis agrees.
• Furthermore, Lapis says that torture helped her become who she is now, so she suggests ''torturing them'' to get them to do a Heel–Face Turn.
  • For bonus points, the background music turns creepy and distorted for five seconds, then abruptly stops when Lapis mentions the "other stuff" that made her become nicer.
• While Steven and Lapis are teaching the other Lapises to use their powers for art (or rather, "meep morp"), Lapis creates a reclining beach chair with a side table, Umbrella Drink, and sunglasses out of mud. Which Steven then proceeds to recline in...before taking a sip from the "drink" and then spitting it back out.
  Steven: So lifelike, I forgot.

Little Graduation

• What's Jenny got planned after Sadie Killer and the Suspects break up? She's starting a business selling novelty cell phone cases that look like little jackets, complete with pockets with little fake cell phones in them.
• After Steven's Power Incontinence accidentally causes a shield dome to form around him and his friends, Shep tries to talk to him but to no avail:
  Steven: Look, if I don't figure out how to get rid of this dome, all my friends are gonna die!
  Lars (muttering): Wouldn't be the first time.
• Steven tries to pass off the blame on the shield on Lars' emotions. Everyone has a feeling it's his fault, and Shep - the newcomer - points out it's Steven's emotions causing the problem.
  Shep: Well, but, ya magic's all about your feelings, right? I don't know. It just seems like you're sad about all your friends drifting away, so you trapped us all in this dome to keep us from leaving.
  Steven (grimaces): I don't see the connection.
• It's pretty funny to watch the heart-to-heart between Steven and his friends as Steven's face gets progressively more smushed by the shrinking dome.

Prickly Pair

• Steven baby-talking his plants that he's named after people he knows. He then gets to "Lars", specifically happy about him being "stuck in the ground so he can't run off into space". This gets him some concerned looks from the Gems.
• The Running Gag of people making pained expressions after getting stuck by Cactus Steven's needles.
  • During the fight with Cactus Steven, Pearl goes for a stab against him only for her spear to get stuck in his shoulder. Garnet follows it up with a powerful right hook, spraying poor Pearl with needles, who can only mutter an agonized "Garnet!" before falling off.
• When Cactus Steven starts repeating Steven's issues with the Gems, Amethyst wants to know why it's being so "oddly specific" towards them.
  • Similarly, Garnet telling the Cactus Steven to give up because it can't win. Then it says "I don't want any more high and mighty advice from Garnet", prompting a delightfully confused reaction from her.
• Steven tries to reassure the other Crystal Gems that everything is fine and they should "come back in a few hours for no reason whatsoever"...when the Gems can see him fighting Cactus Steven through the window.

In Dreams

• While Steven's nightmare in the opening is not funny as a whole, there's something amusing in the fact that Onion is randomly shown partying alongside the Crystal Gems and the Off-Colors, implying that Steven has that high an opinion of the little creep.
• Steven wondering if he'll need a Tinfoil Hat to keep his dreams from projecting onto the TV.
• One of the first ideas Steven comes up with as an attempt to fix the Camp Pining Hearts reboot is to add a new character. Said new character is a blatant Self-Insert named Stefan, a buff adult version of himself who is popular and everyone accepts his help. What's more, about half of Stefan's interactions with the cast of Camp Pining Hearts are flirty/romantic.
• The fact that Steven's self-insert so casually uses a pickup line on a girl is so jarringly out of character for Steven that it's hilarious.
  Stefan: Well, a little birdy told me that downstream, there's an island full of rare specimens.
• Peridot doesn't mind if there are some initial teething problems with Steven's dream episodes because, as she points out, "our budget is nothing and our schedule is infinite!"
• In all of Steven's dreams where he is Stefan, he suffers from Bad "Bad Acting". The only voice Stefan can really do convincingly is a flirty voice, so everything he says that's not an attempt at flirting either sounds strange for the context of the scene, or it just sounds flat and stilted.
• Steven's dreams being, well, dreams, his attempts at making what is effectively a Fix Fic for the Camp Pining Hearts reboot keep getting interrupted by weird things, like Blue Diamond as a dolphin and Yellow Diamond as a giant pineapple, or Rodrigo randomly being replaced by Dogcopter. Or Rodrigo turning into the Crystal Gems with Dogcopter's rotor-thingy on their backs.
  • Steven's dreams also always end at almost the same point, before the scenes he's imagining reach any satisfactory resolution. Which is basically how everyone's dreams always end.
• There's something inexplicably hilarious about Peridot, half a decade after her introduction, suddenly and casually taking off her glasses for the first time.
• In the end, Steven and Peridot are able to find enjoyment in the Camp Pining Hearts reboot by watching it to make fun of it. Also, from what little we see, it really is as bad as they say it is. Jasmine is shown getting self-righteously angry at Rodrigo for cheating at cards, right after burying a body.

Bismuth Casual

• 90% of Pearl's actions in this episode are hilarious. To wit:
  • Pearl's favorite song turns out to be the radio jingle for an auto-repair shop, "Cam's Camshafts". Especially hilarious if you remember her skepticism in "Mr. Greg" that Rose would've been won over by Greg's song that got turned into a fast food jingle.
  • Pearl's idea of an ice-breaking gift for interacting with humans? Handing out rolls of toilet paper. She notes with delight that humans commonly use it for acts of vandalism.
    • On a meta note, this episode aired during the Covid-19 Pandemic, while people were buying up and hoarding many basic necessities, including toilet paper.
  • Pearl unbuttoning Bismuth's shirt to reveal her gem.
  • Pearl's inexplicable popularity among the humans at the roller rink is pretty clearly an accurate representation of her real-life fanbase. All of said admirers are women and it later turns out that Bismuth is crushing on Pearl, continuing the Running Gag of Pearl being a Clueless Chick-Magnet.
  • Pearl: Social Butterfly.
• Steven repeatedly face-planting while trying to learn how to rollerskate.
• Steven's incredibly awkward attempts to bond with Connie's human friends flies straight into Cringe Comedy, from bringing up the time White Diamond took his Gem in "Change Your Mind" to telling one kid he knows how it feels to get stressed out by his mother's side of the family.
• After Steven patches things up with Connie, he helps out Bismuth with her own romantic endeavors by having Sour Cream play a song she and Pearl can dance to. It's the Cam's Camshafts jingle.

Together Forever

• There's something inherently funny about Sapphire and Ruby's day jobs. Sapphire is giving a lecture about alternate timelines, while Ruby is the leader of a Scouts group. One is an academic intellectual, the other is barely a step above teaching kindergarten. The mismatch is hilarious and adorable.
• Ruby gets so excited about the prospect of Steven proposing to Connie she accidentally sets the grass on fire, and has to throw a fireproof blanket over it (like a good Scout).
• One of the ways Ruby uses to encourage Steven to propose to Connie? He can earn a Scout Proposal Badge. Which begs the question of who the heck was supposed to earn that badge?!
  • Steven is absolutely thrilled with the badge, BTW.
  • Also, the badge shows what is most likely a man proposing to another man.
• As in-character as it is, there's something funny about Sapphire responding to Steven's dramatic "SAPPHIRE!" shout with a casual "right on time".
• Sapphire's own enthusiasm for love "making the impossible possible" is both funny and very heartwarming.
  • The way Sapphire encourages Steven to propose. It's even funnier because it's the exact same reaction Ruby had.
  "Do it, Steven. Do it. Do it! DO IT!
• Steven also somewhat confirms his true name (after much fan speculation after the many reveals)
  "Alright, friends. Take a good look at this guy while you can. 'Cuz today may be his last day as Steven Quartz Cutiepie DeMayo Diamond Universe!"
  • Now imagine if Connie did/does marry Steven and take his name.
• After his failed attempt to propose to Connie, Steven commiserates with Garnet and tries to drown his sorrows in cake.
  Steven: Well, maybe shoving this adorable cake in my face will make me feel better.
  (Steven opens the box, revealing a damaged cake with the words "TOGETHER FOREVER" just barely legible on it)
  Garnet: It really, really won't.
  Steven: (stuffing his face with cake) I'm doing it anyway!
• Garnet telling Steven that listening to Ruby & Sapphire about the proposal was a bad idea by calling them "hopeless romantics".

Growing Pains

• The episode opens with a clip from the latest Dogcopter movie, which ends with Dogcopter narrowly surviving a bomb disposal mission and proposing to his partner, Drew. It just makes Steven frustrated that even his favorite cartoon characters have a better love life than he does.
  Steven: Everyone's getting married but me! Ughhh! I feel like poop.
  • In the clip, Drew has to remind Dogcopter that his target is the blue car and not the mail delivery truck driving alongside of it.
• Steven randomly swelling up is equal parts hideous and hilarious.
• A couple of highlights from Steven's first ever medical check-up.
  • When Steven's height is being measured, he briefly becomes a few inches taller. After returning to normal, Dr. Maheswaran puts the level back down, only for Steven's neck to stretch all the way to the ceiling.
  • Dr. Maheswaran's hand gets bubbled when she tries to test Steven's reflexes.
• While Garnet and Pearl's X-rays just show their Gems, Amethyst's also shows the stuff she's eaten, including a sub sandwich and some other junk. Dr. Maheswaran can be heard clearing her throat when she gets to it before hastily moving on.
• When asked if he's gone through any trauma, Steven begins with the time his favorite cookie was discontinued.
• This exchange:
  Priyanka:Get undressed, and lets get you into a hospital gown.
  Steven: Is that one of those blue things that doesn't cover your butt?
  Priyanka: Yes.
  

Mr. Universe

• Greg and Steven stop at a gas station and Greg walks into the restroom. He almost immediately exits with a deadpan expression visible.
• The album that inspired Greg to become Mr. Universe? Kerry Moonbeam.

Fragments

• The dramatic way Jasper rips off her cloak, expecting a rematch can be this.
• Jasper's attitude to Earthlings is pretty...consistent.
  Jasper: Yeah! Destroy that weakling tree!!
• When Steven kisses a tree to heal it, Jasper is disgusted by it and freaks out when she sees the grass growing back, too, and immediately begins tearing it out.
  Jasper: Quit helping the local ecosystem recover!
  • Once again, Jasper's greatest concern/enemy is the grass.
• Jasper agrees to train Steven and tells him his first lesson is to stop smiling.
  Steven: But, I've seen you smile.
  Jasper: (kicks Steven away) Lesson two, SHUT UP!
• During the Training from Hell montage, Jasper and Steven enter Jasper's cave after a day of training, only for Jasper to shove Steven outside, making him sleep outside like a pet.
• Following the Training from Hell, Steven becomes taller and more muscular, and kisses his bicep as Jasper compliments him. Jasper is visibly annoyed by the Bicep Kiss.
  Jasper: I didn't teach you that.
  • Steven's pants have also gotten longer. They suit his new physique now, and there's no indication that he went and bought new clothes.

Homeworld Bound

• The smug look on Jasper's face when Steven tells the Gems they can't follow him, which then disappears when Steven tells her the same.
• The fact that the Zircons from "The Trial" are apparently running for office on Homeworld is both hilarious and kind of impressive, especially with this comment from one of the Jaspers:
  "I can't believe that half of Homeworld's gonna vote for that Diamond stooge Zircon! Now, Zircon — that's a face you can trust!"
  • What makes extra funny is that both candidates are named Zircon (breaking the One-Steve Limit, with the first Zircon being Yellow Zircon and the second being Blue Zircon). It can also be interpreted as an "all politicians are the same" joke.
• In a Funny Background Event, you can see one of the Sentient Walls from "Familiar" removed from the wall. Its body is just a giant slab of stone, and it moves by slowly hobbling around.
• Spinel continues to display her retro cartoon influence as her reaction to seeing Steven again is to give him a giant Bugs Bunny-esque kiss.
• Steven takes issue with Blue Diamond's new power, luckily Blue's change in attitude and her being somewhat Literal-Minded makes her respond to Steven in a way that is as funny as it is blunt, with the goofiest grin possible.
  Steven: You can't just magically make me feel better.
  Blue Diamond: (cheerfully) Yes I can! That's literally my new power!
• Using her new power White Diamond allows Spinel to take control of her body. The ridiculous dancing and jumping around can almost make a viewer wonder how the two were the biggest threats Steven had to face.
  • While Spinel always acted goofy, White so far has always been serious (even in The Movie, when she was The Comically Serious). Seeing the all-powerful god-queen of Gemkind acting like a clown is, by itself, hilarious.
• While Steven was talking with White, Spinel decided to file her nails—or rather, stretch one finger out and pretend she had nails to file.
• Spinel singing a rendition of "Change", while undeniably a heartwarming moment, is hilarious due to the way she sings it: suffice to say, her accent and bombastic style really don't lend themselves to Steven's style of singing.

Everything's Fine

• Steven tries to use not wanting to wake the Gems as an excuse to hang up on Connie when she expresses concern over his condition, which he's in denial about...only for Connie to point out that the Gems don't need to sleep before he hangs up on her.
• Steven running to Little Homeworld at superspeed accidentally tips the donut on top of Big Donut. Steven then runs back to straighten it.
• When the plant Stevens interrupt what is implied to be a therapy session, Garnet nonchalantly says "see you next week" before throwing her stuff to the side and summoning her gauntlets.
  • Then the plant Stevens surround her and do nothing but parrot "Steven's here to help". She is understandably confused.
  • Then when Garnet sees Steven she just lowers her gauntlets and stands there without comment, like she's seen it all before.
  • After Steven runs off at superspeed again, a plant Steven comes running after him with open arms, crying out "Daddy...!".
• There's something darkly hilarious about Steven cheerfully brushing off all the disasters he causes thanks to his Power Incontinence, from unleashing overly-helpful shrub-monsters in Peridot's greenhouse ("What's a little broken glass between friends?"), to breaking Bismuth's anvil in half with a gentle tap from a tiny hammer, to blowing up the baseball diamond and a few houses with a shout of joy.
  • In the same darkly hilarious manner, Steven is walking around narrating his day in an overly cheerful manner. That is, to put it another way, he's wandering around maniacally talking to himself, as is abruptly pointed out when Amethyst interrupts a scene to nervously ask if he's doing ok.
• Amethyst is coaching a baseball game at Little Homeworld, and when Steven offers to join in, she has him replace Larimar, who is in the outfield, apparently asleep.
  • Made even better a few minutes later, when the Topiary Stevens come rampaging through, Larimar is seen being cheerfully carried away by one of them.
• How did Connie find out Steven was not okay? He had accidentally sent to her phone a projection of himself squatting several times while repeatedly saying "Steven's here to help!"

I Am My Monster

• At the start of the episode, we see Vidalia painting, and when she is disturbed by the ground shaking. We can briefly see a small bucket fall over and see that Onion is inside of it for some reason.
• Even though the situation itself is awful there's something funny about Greg calling up to Godzilla!Steven: "Just calm down, son. Take deep breaths! Deep! Breaths!"
• While it's impressive how much Peridot's improved with her metal powers, there's something rather hilarious about Peridot using them to ride Bismuth through the air.
• Peridot proves to be an Apologetic Attacker when she and Bismuth try to distract Monster Steven.
  Bismuth: That got his attention...
  Peridot: SORRY, STEVEN!
• Amethyst having a You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me! reaction when the Diamonds show up...to return Steven's sandal.
• When the Diamonds show up, White is clearly exasperated at their poor track record with visiting Earth.
  White Diamond: Why is something like this always happening when we show up for a visit?
• Spinel's description of Steven's sandal while she's jumping out to return it.
  Spinel: YOU FORGOT YOUR FOOT-THONG-THINGY!
  • Doubly funny is the fact that Spinel doesn't know what a sandal is, but apparently knows what a thong is.
  • Triply funny: flip-flops are called thongs in Australia, so Spinel was accidentally correct!
• Spinel's reaction to seeing Monster Steven for the first time:
  Spinel: OOOHHH, WHA?!
• After Yellow Diamond and Spinel get hit with Blue's laughing gas (no pun intended), Yellow Diamond laughs uncontrollably whilst telling Blue about it not working.
  Yellow Diamond: [whilst hysterically laughing] WOW! Your new powers didn't work either!
• Spinel crying and blowing her nose into her pigtails is funny. The usually composed White Diamond reduced to a barely coherent mess and then getting into an "It's All My Fault" argument with Spinel is hilarious.
  • The mere fact that White is capable of sounding like a complete egomaniac even while trying to take blame for something.
• You might get the sinking suspicion that Monster Steven's form was influenced by the whole 'Steven's Neck' thing, like the Crewniverse went "You want Steven to have a neck?! We'll GIVE you neck!"
• The Cooldown Hug moment is a bit hilarious when you look at White Diamond. She's awkwardly smiling and not even hugging right.
• Spinel joins the Group Hug by stretching her arms and wrapping them around everyone else.

The Future

• The beginning of the episode has Steven doing the silly little workout routine from "Future Vision". And just like that episode, the radio gets wrecked (by Lion this time).
• In a final reminder that Steven's Earth isn't quite the same as ours, his talk with Connie has him mention visiting "all 39 states".
• Pearl nibbling and swallowing a piece of Cookie Cat. Without complaining.
  Pearl: (Beat) ...Scrumptious!
• The Gems break out singing the Cookie Cat jingle.
  Pearl: Ohhhhh...! He's a frozen treat with an all-new taste!
  Amethyst: 'Cuz he came to this planet from outer space!
  Garnet: A refugee of an interstellar war!
  Pearl: But now he's at your local grocery store!
  Amethyst: Cookie Cat!
  Pearl: He's a pet for your tummy!
  Amethyst: Cookie Cat!
  Pearl: He's super-duper yummy!
  Amethyst: Cookie Cat!
  Garnet:...He left his family behind.
  • More importantly, Pearl is rapping. Only not so secretly this time.
    • Pearl in general is hilarious in this segment. She sounds exactly like a over-enthusiastic mother trying to sound cool and it's incredibly endearing and funny.
  • The music abruptly stopping when Garnet realizes what's going on just in time for the line "he left his family behind".
• In contrast to the main Crystal Gems' taking Steven's departure remarkably well, the B-team of Lapis, Bismuth, and Peridot are all reduced to Inelegant Blubbering.
  • Peridot also references her early habit of calling him "The Steven".
    Peridot: Where am I gonna find another Steven as good as you, huh? I like this one so much!
  • Steven gives Peridot one of his old pink shirts as a gift...and she has to use it as a tissue to blow her nose because she's so overcome with emotion.
  • Steven gives Lapis one of those cheap art sets as her going-away present to make more meep-morps. She loves it.
    Lapis: It even has watercolors??
    • While Steven has a final group hug with the B-Team, Lapis promises to make a painting of Steven using the new watercolors and her own tears.
• When Steven goes to give Garnet her parting gift, you can just make out a sign on the back of the dryer that reads "Peridot: Please stop stealing parts from the washer and dryer, we are running out of replacements". It also has a picture of Peridot's face with a "no" sign over it.
• Jasper breaks through a wall to follow Steven, leaving an Impact Silhouette. When Steven tells her to stay, she goes back through the same wall, but makes a second hole.
  • Her Impact Silhouette is also her exact shape and size, and she manages to create them in one hit. Maybe she might find a future in construction work or sculpting...?
• Steven lets Greg stay in his house while he's gone. Greg, who's been sleeping in his van almost every night for decades (willingly for the last two years due to his advertising money), finds Steven's bed so luxurious that he has trouble getting up.
• When Steven finally leaves, he gets miffed that the Gems didn't seem even the least bit upset. When he comes back to confront them about it, that's when the Gems finally break down. Especially hilarious is Garnet retaining her composure while tears are spraying out behind her shades like sprinklers.
  • Rather than just turn the car around when driving back to talk to the Gems, Steven shifts into reverse and floors it to confront them, barely keeping control while he does.
  • Pearl is crying so hard that she can't talk, forcing Garnet to speak for her.
    Garnet: Pearl agrees.
• Garnet gives Steven one last piece of future vision before he leaves...about a minor car problem he should get checked out before he gets to the desert. It makes one wonder what she saw.

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