Funny / Steven Universe

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Unmarked spoilers ahead.
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    Season 1 A 
"Gem Glow"
  • Pearl calmly explaining to Steven that he isn't ready to join them on quests while she snaps a Centipeetle's neck with her bare hands. She doesn't even take her eyes off Steven as she does it.
  • When Steven asks where they got so much of his favorite ice cream, Pearl explains that they knew it was his favorite, so:
    Amethyst: We went out and stole a bunch!
    Pearl: (Annoyed) I went back and paid for them.
  • "Cookie Cat, he's a pet for your tummy! Cookie Cat, he's super duper yummy! Cookie Cat! HE LEFT HIS FAMILY BEHIND!"
  • This moment:
    Pearl: Calm down, Steven, breathe; don't force it!
    Amethyst: (Regarding Steven's constipated-looking face) Yeah, and try not to poop yourself either.
    Garnet: Please, Don't.
  • Lars' reaction to Amethyst slicing the dumpster in half behind the Big Donut.
    Lars: Again?!
  • Garnet's speech, which switches from her normal stoic tone to a bit of Large Ham, only to suddenly whip back when she ends with "At least, that's how I do it." Steven's reaction is also chuckle-worthy.
  • When Steven comes to the conclusion that his powers are summoned by eating ice cream, a concerned Pearl picks up one of the wrappers and eyes it suspiciously.
    Pearl: What's in these things?
  • At the end of the episode:
    Amethyst: Are you crying?
    Steven: ONLY A LITTLE!
  • Blink and you'll miss it, but when Steven first enters the house and finds the Gems fighting the Centipeetle hoard, a pair of the creatures can be seen watching television.

"Laser Light Cannon"
  • Steven is told the thing coming from the horizon is a "Red Eye".
    Steven: RED EYE?! It's going to infect us all!
    Garnet: That's pink eye, Steven.
  • Pearl's description of the orb approaching Earth can be topped off with a big That's What She Said:
    Pearl: Look at the size of it! I had no idea these things were so big!
  • Pearl tries to sugarcoat why they aren't going to Greg for help. Amethyst... not so much.
    Pearl: Greg is... nice, Steven, but I doubt Rose would entrust him with such a powerful weapon.
    Amethyst: Your dad's kind of a mess, Steven.
  • Garnet says they can handle it. She then chucks Amethyst straight into the Red Eye. It fails.
    • Later, when Steven points out the Red Eye to Greg, Amethyst suddenly appears out of nowhere and apparently has been chucked into the Red Eye again. Once again, it fails.
    Amethyst: RAAAAGH! *BONG......*
    • And again when the action cuts back to the beach.
    Amethyst: *washes up on shore after another failed attempt* Throw me again, I think I’m cracking it.
  • Steven's expression while happily bopping along to his dad's old CD, while Greg quietly cringes.
  • "That thing about pork rinds?" "Hot dogs."
  • Steven ends up saving Beach City. Mostly - the Red Eye that he destroys shatters into several pieces the size of small cars, causing a lot of wanton property damage.
    Amethyst: Steven! You just saved most of Beach City.
    Steven: Sorry about that!
    Fryman: (Some distance away) ...What?
  • The ending where Greg's van gets washed away by the tides:
    Greg: My van!
    Steven: Don't worry, Dad. If every pork chop were perfect—
    Greg: I LIVE IN THERE!

"Cheeseburger Backpack"
  • Because the storyboard artist for this episode (Ian Jones-Quartey) has a rather unique style compared to the others, many of the expression characters get throughout this episode are a bit off... and very, very funny.
  • The girls are back... with a giant egg.
    Garnet: (With feathers in her hair) Hello, Steven.
    Pearl: Amethyst, we do not need that! It's not going to fit in the fridge!
    Amethyst: What? I got this! (slowly pulls fridge shelf out... then just drops it; shoves the egg in) Look, it fits! (slams refrigerator door; audible cracking noises.)
  • Steven has a toy called a "Mr. Queasy Doll", which he decides will definitely come in handy for the mission and tosses out a first-aid kit to make room for him.
    Mr. Queasy: Oh, kid, don't shake me! (gets shaken) Urp... I got a medical condition!
  • Pearl suggests an intricate plan to get past an entire room of creepy-crawlies... but Steven just throws some bagel sandwiches to lure them away. And it works.
    Pearl: ...How did you know that would work....?
    Steven: If I were a shrimp, that's what I'd do!
    Amethyst: You are a shrimp.
    • As they moved on, Pearl added:
    Pearl: I just want everyone to know—My plan would have also worked.
  • When the gang encounters a current of gushing water they have to cross, they turn to Steven for suggestions. They chant "Cheeseburger backpack! Cheeseburger backpack!" until Steven pulls a raft from the pack. "Steven, that's so sensible!" ...He throws the raft in the water, and it gets carried away.
    Garnet: (breaks column and creates a bridge to get across) Great idea anyway, Steven.
  • When they reach the pedestal where the statue should be placed, Steven realizes he left the statue at home. He doesn't give up, however, and suggests they place his doll on the pedestal instead.
    Amethyst: Could that work?
    Garnet: (makes "I don't know" sound and shrugs)
    • The way Mr. Queasy starts to moan in pain as he is violently shaken back and forth and explodes.
  • Even though Steven messed up, the Sea Spire is destroyed, and they're floating in the middle of an ocean, the Gems try to cheer him up, saying at least 50% of his plans worked. Then the raft comes back, making it 75%.
    Steven: WHOO!
    • They celebrate,
    Pearl and Amethyst: Cheeseburger backpack! Cheeseburger backpack! Cheeseburger backpack!
    Garnet: It's a 3-hour paddle home.

"Together Breakfast"
  • Steven trying to tell a Garnet.
    Steven: It's not exactly healthy, but it's in a stack, so I guess you could call it a... balanced breakfast?
    Garnet: ...
    (cut to Steven making an extremely goofy face)
  • Garnet's business in the Temple is to burn a scroll (that apparently contains a trapped Eldritch Abomination), of which Steven snaps a pic with his smart phone. Garnet takes his phone, declaring she now needs to burn that, too.
    Steven: MY APPS!
    • Even funnier, before she burns the phone she breaks it in half.
  • The background music suddenly switches to dubstep when Steven is placing the strawberry on top of the breakfast. Twice.
    • The official name of the song on SoundCloud? "Drop the Strawberry".
  • All of Steven and Amethyst's interaction are very reminiscent of an older sister and younger brother... and it's hilarious.
    Amethyst: You've got something on your shirt.
    (Steven looks down.)
    Amethyst: (spraying him with water gun) DUUUUMB!
    • Later:
    Amethyst: You can't outrun me; we both have short legs!
    • The Dumb Police.
  • Amethyst doesn't like her stuff organized:
    Amethyst: Isn't it awful? Pearl organized everything.
    Steven: Still looks messy to me.
    Amethyst: Aw, thanks! I try. (Kicking a pile of junk) BOOM!!!
  • Garnet's absolutely deadpan statement following the possession of the together breakfast.
    Garnet: Now it has all the power of a breakfast, we have to destroy it!
    Pearl: (getting pinned to wall by monster) AAAAHH, it's horrible!!!
  • Steven and the Gems finally make a together breakfast... then remember that the last one tried to eat them and decide on pizza instead.
    Garnet: It did try to kill us.

Pearl: Have you seen this crystal shard? It's very important.
Steven: Have you seen my pants? (pans out to show he's in his underwear) They are also very important.
  • Steven having an internal monologue when Pearl is lecturing him about Gem Shards. He realizes that he's not listening, but doesn't want to tune in mid-lecture.
    Steven: (thinking) I can't just start listening now! I'd be lost. Just like my pants...
    • The way his eyes abruptly drift into Fish Eyes as he stops paying attention.
    • And later, when Pearl frantically asked if he heard what she said, he gives an honest "No!"
      Pearl: Oh Steven.
  • Steven when he spots his sentient pants: "THAT'S UNUSUAL!"
    • Not to mention Steven's line once he finally gets his pants back on:
    Steven: I wear the pants in this relationship!
  • Pearl, a fearless defender of mankind, is incapacitated for most of the battle by getting ketchup in her eyes.
  • What does Steven do to defeat Frybo when it turns evil? He animates the clothes on his body so they can attack; leaving him in the nude as they lay the whooping on Frybo and pin it down.
    Steven: As soon as I bared my butt, I knew he'd crack!
  • The fact that the episode ends with Frybo being given a Viking Funeral, with Steven's still-sentient clothes serving as pallbearers.
  • The face Steven makes at the end of the episode.
  • "Put your clothes on, Steven."

"Cat Fingers"
  • Mayor Dewey's reaction to Greg and Steven goofing off on the job: "I'm not paying for father-son bonding here!"
  • Amethyst doing a spot-on impression of Mordecai in her bluejay form.
  • Amethyst using her shape-shifting to tease Pearl.
    Amethyst: (as Pearl) Of course I can [shape-shift], I'm perfect! (slaps her own butt) WOMP WOMP!
    • In a meta sense, there's something delightfully humorous about a show as progressive and dramatic as Steven Universe not being above making butt jokes.
  • As mean as it was, Lars's insult to Steven and the ridiculous face he made were pretty funny.
    Sadie: Oh, I'm sure [the cat finger] just wants to play.
    Steven: You're right! And he doesn't have any friends.
    Lars: Oh my gosh. It's just like you, Steven.
  • Steven goes to the fry stand, and Peedee is there to take his order. Steven asks for fry bits, while Peedee insists Steven order from the menu. Steven wants his bits, and then Fryman comes by and tells Peedee they should just give Steven the bits.
  • Amethyst complete agrees with Pearl that this whole mess was her fault, and that Steven shouldn't listen to her.
  • Steven's hurricane of cat puns at the end; Lame Pun Reactions abound. Not even Garnet can take it.
    Garnet: Okay, that's enough.
    Steven: Wait, I've been coming up with cat jokes all morning! You guys, I'm feline fine! Everything's purr-fect! Aw, c'mon, I'm just kitten around...

"Bubble Buddies"
  • Steven showing off his bike to impress Connie. Which doesn't exactly work cause he tries riding it through sand.
    • When that doesn't work, he parks the bike near her and starts bragging about the bike. Looking over his shoulder each time with a goofy face to see if he got her attention. He then tries riding the bike. It proceeds to fall over, getting Connie to look in his direction. He runs off in panic and embarrassment.
  • Pearl acting like an enthusiastic mother whose child has their first crush. She even tries to plan out a playdate between Steven and Connie.
  • Connie says her parents don't let her eat donuts because of trans fats.
    Steven: Whaaat?
  • Steven enlisting Lars and Sadie's help to try and burst his bubble. The results are exactly as helpful as you'd expect.
    • Lars licking the bubble
    • Steven referring to Lars as his BFF.
    • After a short absence, Sadie comes charging out of the store with a stool, which shatters pointlessly on the shield. It's delightfully sudden.
  • Trying to tell Onion to get a harpoon gun, Steven draws a complicated diagram on the surface of the bubble. Onion doesn't get it. Then Connie comes over and writes "harpoon gun" instead.
    Connie: It just made more sense.
    • The harpoon gun deflects of the bubble harmlessly and sinks a boat. Onion just gives a thumbs up, as if he thinks that's what was supposed to happen.
  • Steven having the idea to let a rollercoaster car ram into them to break the shield.
    Connie: What happens after it hits us?!
    Steven: We'll be free!
    (Connie just stares into space with an "Is he serious?" expression.)
    Connie: Steven, this is a bad idea.
  • Garnet keeping Amethyst and Pearl from C-Blocking Steven.
    Garnet: Hey! Don't mess with his funky flow!
    Connie: "Funky flow?"
    • She then picks up Pearl and Amethyst up by the scruffs of their necks and carries them off, like a mommy cat and her kittens.
    • What makes things funnier is that earlier in the episode, Steven had told the Gems not to watch because it would mess up his funky flow. Garnet remembered, and took the comment seriously. And from Steven's reaction it might have embarrassed him more than anything the other two had said.

"Serious Steven"
  • After landing in a patch of strawberries, which gets strawberry juice all over him, Steven is swarmed by a bunch of butterflies. The way Steven starts screaming about this is so reminiscent of a certain meme, one can't help but be amused by the hilarious parallels.
  • Steven riding the teacups with Garnet. That image alone is worthy of a chuckle.
  • Amethyst and Pearl are in one of the teacups, with Pearl holding a tea pot.
    Pearl: I misunderstood the point of this ride.
  • Mr. Smiley struggling to keep a smile in the aftermath of the teacup incident. He then picks up Steven, laughing all the while when suddenly-
  • While Pearl puzzles over the structure of the pyramid to Garnet, Amethyst can be seen running into doorways one after the other in the background, only to emerge from a completely different one seconds later with some evidence of a previous mishap on her. The last one has her pop out in a cube of ice, prompting Pearl to run over and start breaking her out of it with her spear.
  • Pearl becoming so embarrassed after Garnet corrects her ("Steven already figured that out!"), this happens with her hologram.
  • After falling, the Gems are seen landing one by one on their feet in a rather Badass crouch... then Steven plummets down and slams into the ground stomach-first.

"Tiger Millionaire"
  • Steven imitates Pearl and Garnet. It's as hilarious as you'd expect. Their leitmotivs can even be heard as he does this. When he's imitating Garnet, he even shoves his hair forward so it resembles hers and does a fairly spot-on impression of her accent.
    Steven: (imitating Pearl) Oh Steven, I told you before not to bring peanut butter on missions!
    Steven: (imitating Garnet) I'm not going to say anything, but I expect you to understand that was wrong.
  • The titular wrestling alter-ego of Steven is basically a parody of "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase; especially his creative back story. His biggest fan? Lars.
  • One of the wrestlers Amethyst fights blinds her by shoving a traffic cone on her head.
    Mr. Smiley: What a gross misuse of safety equipment—and your tax dollars.
  • Garnet's attempt at Kayfabe. She reacts to a pretend hit by falling over backwards like a felled tree. And her attempt at improvising a heel motivation is So Bad, It's Good.
  • Tiger Millionaire loses Lars's favor, so he brings a sign to the match that says "TIGER IS A JERK". When Tiger Millionaire and Purple Puma pull a Heel–Face Turn to fight the "Order of Wrestling Haters" (Garnet and Pearl), Lars gets on his side again, hastily altering his sign with a marker to say "TIGER IS not A JERK"
  • Lars' assertion that he hates Tiger Millionaire because he hurt him specifically
  • The ending.
    Sadie: (clapping along with the crowd, but looking utterly lost) Lars, I'm really confused.
    Lars: (in sudden detailed close-up) I love you, Tiger Millionaire.

"Steven's Lion"
  • After Pearl tells Steven it would be safer to stand as opposed to crawling...
    Steven: (apparently exhausted and dehydrated) You don't understand... This is how you're supposed to act in the desert.
  • Steven's ridiculously inept attempt at pretending he taught the lion to say "I love you". And the fact that Amethyst not only buys it hook, line and sinker, but appears to be genuinely touched.
  • Amethyst and Steven deciding to use the Desert Glass as a pillow-fort garnish of all things.
  • Ronaldo's reaction when Steven mentions he's getting a pizza for two.
    Ronaldo: Steven's pregnant!?
    • Steven's response to that is, "I don't think so", like he was genuinely unsure about it.
  • When Steven comes into the Pizzeria to brag about his Lion...
    Kiki: You're not lion, are you?
    Kiki: Steven was LION ...Sorry for using the same pun twice.
  • Lion blows Amethyst into a wall with its roar and she, not even bothering to open her eyes, has nothing to say but "Keep it down, Steven."
  • Amethyst's response to Pearl asking why she didn't Bubblize the Desert Glass.
    Amethyst: Welcome to Shrug City, P.
    Pearl(bubblizing the Desert Glass): We should have done this in the first place.
    Amethyst: In my defense, I forgot.
  • The Gems letting Steven keep his lion.
    Pearl: Are we really going to let him keep that?
    Garnet: We kept Amethyst.

"Arcade Mania"
  • Earlier in the episode when Garnet pulls Amethyst out of a hole in the ground and she cheerfully mentions that she swallowed a rock.
  • When Pearl is first introduced to the arcade:
    Pearl: Humans find such fascinating ways to waste their time.
  • When made to play a driving game by Steven:
    Pearl: Which one of these buttons is my turn signal?
    Steven: None of them. Have fun!
  • When the game begins:
    Pearl: *raises an eyebrow* Okaaaay...
  • Onion gets enough tickets to win a moped.
    • A few episodes later, we see him prying open the machine with with a screwdriver, meaning that he was hacking into the machine and cheating to win the tickets the whole time.
  • Amethyst cheating at skeeball. While making fart sounds with her mouth.
    Amethyst: IMMA WIN A AIRPLANE!
  • Steven introduces Garnet to a fighting game. He tries to remember a complicated combo for a special move, but when he can't, he tells her to just punch. Naturally, she takes it too literally. Made even funnier by the fact that she proudly proclaims, "I did it." afterward.
  • Steven combs the beach with a dog-shaped metal detector, and finds another dog-shaped metal detector.
  • He also finds a silver dollar while combing the beach for quarters, calls it "useless" and throws it away. A dollar coin is worth four quarters. This becomes even funnier when you consider Steven might just have naïvely thrown away a rare dollar coin whose value today is in the thousands or tens of thousands...
  • Steven says he hopes the next mission for the Gems is fighting a "giant foot".
  • Pearl and Amethyst discussing the Crystal Gems' chain of command:
    Amethyst: Garnet's the boss!
    Pearl: Well... we're all a team. Garnet just has heightened perception that guides us towards our mission objective.
    Amethyst: Yeah. She's the boss!
  • Amethyst plays a harmless but still funny prank on Steven.
    Amethyst: Oh wait, Steven! I just remembered, Garnet had a special mission for you!
    Steven: (Eating cereal) Really?!
    Amethyst: Yeah! She says, um, you have to slam your face into that bowl of cereal.
    Steven: Okay. [dunks head into cereal bowl with a hilarious wet slapping noise]
    Amethyst: Good job, Steven! You stopped the foot!
    Pearl: (Frustratedly) There is no foot!!
    Steven: (Face dripping with milk) Not anymore!
  • The whole "giant foot" sequence becomes Hilarious in Hindsight when you consider that two of the enemies the Gems had to do battle with (Peridot's ship and one of the Cluster Prototypes) were giant hands.
  • The Meat Beat Mania game is constantly spewing out meat-related puns. The one it chooses for the moment Steven knocks off Garnet's glasses, revealing her third eye? "That's rare!"
    • The mere sight of Garnet wildly waving two large hams around.

"Giant Woman"
  • The opening scene with Pearl and Amethyst playing "high stakes checkers." The stakes being that whoever loses gets pelted with water balloons.
  • Amethyst describes Opal as herself and Pearl "mashed together", which leads to:
    Pearl: Is water just hydrogen and oxygen "mashed together"?
    Amethyst and Steven: Uhh...
    Pearl: Analogy wasted.
  • When Garnet returns from a mission:
    Steven: [excited] Garnet! What did ya bring me? [Garnet holds out his gift.] Whoa—a rock! Thanks, Garnet!
  • Pearl being a Grammar Nazi towards Amethyst.
    Amethyst: Well I'm going with Not-Pearl.
    Pearl: That's perfect because I don't want to go with grammatically incorrect people anyway.
    Steven: (still chewing on his rock) Is her talking about me?
  • The montage during Steven singing "Giant Woman" features scenes of Pearl and Amethyst messing with one another in some silly ways, one of which includes Amethyst turning into a shark and scaring Pearl as she tries to cross a shallow river.
    • Heck, the song "Giant Woman" itself is hilarious as it is catchy and heartwarming.
  • Pearl and Amethyst have a small but amusing row when it turns out the Heaven Beetle is missing.
    Pearl: I can't believe your attitude, Amethyst. And now you're just slouching over here doing nothing!
    Amethyst: Hey! It's not my fault the Beetle isn't there. Why do you have to make things worse by squawking at me?
    Pearl: I don't squawk!
    Amethyst: Yeah, you're squawking and commenting on my posture!
    Pearl: [speaking over Amethyst] No. No. This is squawking. SQUAWK. SQUAWK.
  • The gang comes across a mountain goat which Steven decides to "adopt" and names it "Steven Jr." After it gets eaten by the bird:
    Steven: My son!
  • When Pearl and Amethyst first attempt a Fusion Dance, Pearl does an elegant ballet, but Amethyst instead does club dancing. If you listen closely, you can hear Pearl groan "Oh, brother."
  • Steven mentioning that something terrible will happen if Pearl and Amethyst don't turn into Opal, including him not getting to see their awesome Fusion, or getting eaten by a giant bird. Guess what happens not two seconds after he mentions the second possibility.
  • While trapped in the giant bird's belly, Steven discovers Steven Jr. has found the Heaven Beetle... and is trying to eat it.
    Steven: Be a good goat and give me the magic bug! [...] Bad goat! You're no son of mine!
  • Debriefing.
    Garnet: I see you also helped your teammates Fuse.
    Steven: And all I had to do was get eaten by a giant bird!
    Garnet: Nice work.

"So Many Birthdays"
  • Amethyst eating a moldy 5 year old tuna burrito like it was nothing, and then a few moments later clenching her stomach and doubling over.
  • The old painting of the Gems in a boat and period clothing: it's a parody of Watson and the Shark except instead of spearing the shark, Garnet is punching it out of the water.
    Garnet: The hard part was getting the shark to pose.
  • Steven's futile attempts to introduce the Gems to how fun birthdays can be, special mention has to be given to the entirety Pearl's mock birthday, as well as the scene in Amethyst's where she repeatedly beats Garnet with a bat while attempting to hit a pinata.
    Steven: (telling a joke) Why did Pearl throw butter out the window?
    Amethyst: (to Pearl) You did what?
    Steven: To see a "butterfly"!
    Pearl: (genuinely hurt) I never did that! Steven...! Are you telling lies?!
  • Pearl asks if they are too "mature" for birthday parties. Then Amethyst "boops" Pearl's nose with a party hat on her nose and they start fighting.
  • Amethyst joyfully accepting Steven's 'present,' the bat meant for the piñata, while she and Pearl are fighting.
    Amethyst: Awwwww, thanks Steven! I'll use it all the time! (turns to Pearl and raises the bat with a gleefully evil grin)
  • Amethyst tries to hit a piñata while she's blindfolded, but just smacks Garnet in the face with the bat. Her reply? "Higher."
  • Steven revealing that he didn't paint his hair clown-multicolor, he put on a wig over his identically shaped hair, which then poofs back out when he takes it off.
  • At Garnet's birthday party, Steven introduces the Gems to the concept of "Kazoo Racing".
    Pearl: I think this is why aging makes humans die.
  • Amethyst shapeshifting into a baby to fit in the tiny car.
    Amethyst: WHICH WAY TO THE BABY WAR? Eat tread, dirtbags!!
  • Steven sees Onion at the arcade and is reminded of the innocence of youth. As soon as he walks away, Onion pulls out a screwdriver and pops the ticket roll out of the skeeball machine.
  • "A boy on the cusp of manhood can't spend his whole day wackering."
  • A young-adult Steven deciding to get his life together and get a job. He walks into a T-shirt store with a Help Wanted sign... and he looks around the T-Shirt selections for a "job" and decides on the "Professional Beach Hunk" shirt.
    • As Steven is selecting shirts, he briefly considers a career as a "Love Doctor," before dismissing it because he's "too squeamish."
  • A middle-age Steven's woefully venting the possibility of eating sugar-free oatmeal when he's old.
  • Steven, realizing he's aged himself up significantly by accident, devises a plan to turn himself back and quickly asks a very confused Lars and Sadie who do not recognize him to "help him into his birthday suit". This leads to Sadie angrily chasing him out of the Donut Shop. With a stool.
  • We cut back to the Gems cleaning up the birthday party and Garnet is still wearing the cape and crown from earlier.
  • Pearl trying to cheer up Steven by dressing up as a CLOWN and smashing a pie in her own face. Every line is delivered with utmost pain and horror, unable to hide her grief over Steven's potential death. It's simultaneously hilarious and heartbreaking.
    Amethyst: Pearl, get over here!
    Pearl: I can't!
    Amethyst: For Steven! *picks up Pearl in clown costume with a pie and drops her in front of Steven*
    Pearl: *tearing up with every word* Oh, look... I have what- um- what appears to be a delicious pie. I... sincerely hope nothing... happens... to- *cries* OH, STEVEN! *shoves pie in face, sobs in pie*
    Pearl: *A face of utter despair*
  • The humor is pitch black but Garnet's reasoning behind shaking Steven near the end is pretty funny.
    Garnet: I thought violence would be the answer!
  • The Gems remind Steven of how he's "Sweet and considerate and only occasionally obnoxious!", causing him to change back and affirm what they say in a shamelessly self-congratulatory tone.
    Steven: I am pretty great.

"Lars and the Cool Kids"
  • When Steven gets too close to the moss, Garnet's solution is to throw a huge boulder at the rock he's standing on with enough force to seesaw him into the air.
    Steven: (lands in Pearl's arms) Steven's here!
  • Pearl's solution to the moss problem: A roll of police tape to block off the area. She summons the roll with a indescribably ridiculous little ritual.
  • The overheard snippet of Mayor Dewey's speech:
    Mayor Dewey: Another reason you should re-elect me: I love babies— *glances over in feigned surprise at a stern-looking assistant holding a baby* Oh would ya look at that— a baby! GONNA KISS IT! *slowly advances towards baby*
  • Things look grim at the episode's climax when the moss overwhelms Lars and Steven. Lars only has a precious few seconds left to talk:
    Lars: Steven?
    Steven: Yeah?
    Lars: ...THIS SUCKS!
  • After regaining consciousness from being engulfed by killer moss, Sour Cream nonchalantly guesses that "I think I died."

"Onion Trade"
  • " I... lost something. Something precious." "(gasp) Your innocence?!"
  • "C'mon, Dave Guy! Is this all you have to offer me, a bunch of paper work? Answer me!"
  • Steven freaking out over Onion throwing away a hamburger. "Not the tomatoes!"
  • The major conflict of the episode is because Steven trades a wand that can duplicate anything any number of times for "Ranger Guy", a single plastic toy. Pearl brings up the painfully obvious:
    Pearl: Why didn't you just replicate Ranger Guy?!
    Steven: (Beat) Dang it!
  • While Garnet and Pearl leap up to stop Onion, Amethyst falls and gets stuck in the pile of toys. Moments later, she sees a bulge moving near her, from which Greg pops out.
    Greg: Oh my gosh, I just wanted some ice cream!
  • Greg and Amethyst are wading through the toys when the former notes that at least it isn't raining toys anymore. Cue a falling car.
    Amethyst: RICH DUCK! *pushes herself and Greg under*
  • After Onion is stopped, Garnet destroys the duplicator wand. Is it because it's too dangerous to keep? No.
  • At one point, Amethyst mentions she used the wand to dump a bunch of garbage in Pearl's room. Later...
    Amethyst: So everything that was duplicated by the wand got turned into nothing?
    Pearl: That's right.
    Amethyst: Rats.
  • "Now we have new memories! Horrible, horrible memories."

"Steven the Sword Fighter"
  • What we see of the Lonely Blade movies points to them being almost pitch-perfect parodies of overwrought Jidai Geki or Wuxia movies, right down to some atrocious dubbing. Every time a character opens their mouth, Large Ham is served.
  • The Gems are all watching a movie together and the Big Bad turns out to be the janitor. Steven is shocked by this. Pearl points out that he was in the background of every fight scene and is even on the box cover with an Obviously Evil expression.
  • Pearl then starts griping about the inaccuracies in the sword fight, prompting Garnet and Amethyst to shush her.
  • When Pearl first mentions she'll need a sparring partner, Steven tries to raise his hand, only for Garnet to gently push it back down before he's even a quarter of the way through.
  • Pearl vs. Holo-Pearl:
    Pearl: Haha! We shall let our swords decide!
    Amethyst: NERD!
    Garnet and Steven: SHHH!
  • It may have been a horrible accident, but Pearl's Major Injury Underreaction to getting stabbed through the gut was some of the funniest Black Comedy this show has offered.
    Pearl: Whoopsy-Daisy!
  • Amethyst eating a cloud. Which renders her floating and puffy for the rest of the episode. Made much more funnier that Garnet of all people is totally okay with it.
    Amethyst: I'm gonna do it!
    Garnet: Go on then.
  • When Garnet accidentally lets go of Amethyst, leaving her floating in the air (and she didn't let go for an important reason either, just because she wanted to cross her arms), her only reaction is a "hm".
  • Holo-Pearl chops down Pearl's favorite tree with a balloon sword!
  • Once Garnet drags Amethyst back, her explanation of what happened is hilarious.
    Pearl: [seeing Amethyst is still inflated] I don't even want to know what happened to you.
    Amethyst: [in a faux-Southern accent] I got hit by a airplane!

"Lion 2: The Movie"
  • At the beginning of the episode, the Gems warp in while Connie and Steven are in the room, with some... interesting poses. According to Word of God, they knew Connie was there and were trying to make a cool entrance. Except Pearl looks like she's trying too hard, Garnet looks fairly uncomfortable, and Amethyst does a goofy pose instead.
  • Dogcopter, period. The concept is so profoundly ridiculous that it becomes awesome. THEN we found out that this is the third in a series. THEN Steven tells us it's Connie's favorite film franchise, probably surprising many. THEN she says she hopes it's faithful to the book. Then the viewer doubles over laughing.
  • After seeing the Dogcopter trailer, Amethyst morphs into the title character and shortly transforms her head into a stereo. Garnet casually starts nodding to the beat, while Pearl grumbles and makes a face.
  • "The most exciting thing in my life is tennis practice..."
    Connie: Forehand! Backhand! Overhead Death Strike!
    Steven: Woah, tennis is rad!
    Connie: Well, I made up that last one...
  • Steven's reaction to Lion's new powers:
    Steven: Why don't you tell me you can do these things you do?!
  • When Steven's hand gets stuck to the controls of the cave they're in, Connie casually states they might have to cut it off. Cue an enormous collection of swords appearing and Steven's ensuing Oh Crap! expression followed by a Big "NO!".
    • This is followed by Steven and Connie trying to see what they can do by poking Steven in various ways.
  • Steven and Connie find a giant penny in the cave.
    Connie: Does...that mean it's worth more than a regular penny?
    Steven: Well, that would make cents. [pulls a cheese-eating grin]
  • "I'm so much more... less interesting than you!"
  • "Oh no! It's the robot shooty-thing!"
  • After they've beaten the robot, Connie and Steven buy tickets to the movie. The ticket girl is thus treated to the sight of two battered kids holding a BFS and their massive pink lion.
    Steven: Two kids and one lion for Dogcopter 3, please.
    Lion: Rawr.
    • Somehow, she's only slightly fazed by the sight and simply asks if they have a rewards card.
    • Special mention goes to her eyes following a burning tire that rolls behind them.
    • Extra special mention goes to her voice actress being Pearl's.

"Beach Party"
  • The Gems over-the-top introduction/outfit change sequence when Steven introduces them to the Pizzas.
  • The fact the Gems absolutely don't give a damn about being banned from Fish Stew Pizza.
    • When Steven first informs them of the news:
    Pearl: Oh uh... that's okay.
    Amethyst: That pizza wasn't even good.
    Steven: Aren't you guys upset about this?
    Garnet: *nonchalant* Not at all.
  • After the Gems get unbanned from the store.
    Steven: We really appreciate it. Right, guys?
    Garnet: (indifferently) Yeah, thanks.
    Pearl: What were we banned from again?
  • At the beginning of the episode, Garnet comes rocketing down from the sky to attack the giant pufferfish, only to get sent flying into the distance.
  • As a part of defeating the pufferfish, Nana asks Pearl to hit Amethyst (who's turned into a volleyball) into the air as hard as she can. Cue her cracking her knuckles and smiling deviously.
    Pearl: With pleasure.
  • Kofi is yelling at Steven, but it has its problems.
    Jenny Daaaaaad, pipe down!
    Kofi: Oh, did I interrupt your beauty sleep?
    Jenny: (yawns) I don't need to sleep to look pretty.
    Kofi: Now you listen here young woman!
    Nanafua: Kofi, you're going to wake the fish from the dead with all of the noise you're keeping. (shakes fish) Uup, too late. (speaking as fish) Kofi, you so loud. Ahhhhhhhh! (stick tongue out)
  • At Steven's barbecue:
    Nanafua: Aren't you girls hungry? You barely touched your food.
    Garnet: We don't need to eat.
    Nanafua: Oh, you young people and your experimental diets.
    Garnet: I am much older than you.
  • Highlights from the volleyball match:
    Jenny: (misses the ball) Woah! Daddy, you cheatin'!

    Pearl (clones holograms) Over here Amethyst, over here!

    Kofi: (serves ball) KOFI TIME!
    Jenny: Jenny Time!
    Jenny: (misses) Daddyyyy!
  • Which devolves into a shouting match

"Rose's Room"
  • Early on, when Steven is trying to get the Gems to join him for Mini Golf, he pulls out a pair of his dad's old, and quite frankly enormous-assed golf pants. Steven mentions they're too big for him, but Garnet can wear them just fine. Even Pearl thinks this is funny, as she is quickly seen snickering about it.
  • Steven running down the list of things that make minigolf fun. "There's castles, and windmills, and I like it..."
  • So, Steven has a room that can generate anything he wants in the world. What's the first thing he wishes up? A tiny whale to give him some fin.
  • Garnet is right up against the door when Steven falls out of it, causing him to slam into her butt-first and send them both flying backward.
  • To make sure he's back in the real world, Steven bites Garnet's arm to see if she's real.
    Garnet: *in complete monotone* Ow.
    • Then Amethyst bites Pearl just because. In contrast to Garnet, Pearl responds with a sound that could best be put phonetically as "AYEUUUGH!!"
      • Pearl is then seen rubbing her arm with a disgruntled expression. But about a few seconds later, upon learning that Steven caused Rose's room to stimulate an entire town, she elbows Amethyst in the face out of shock. One has to wonder if it was completely an accident or partly getting payback for being bitten.
  • Greg's advice while in Rose's room is half creepy and half hilarious as he starts saying things that don't remotely respond to what Steven is telling him.
    Steven: Uh, Dad? Your advice is making less sense than usual.
    Greg: Well, the important thing is family and friendship, honesty, values, and no one got arrested. (Air Guitar)
  • At the end of the episode:
    Steven: I get it now. Things can't always go how I want.
    Garnet: But guess what? We have time to hang out now.
    Steven: (gasp)
    (Gems are at the golfing course.)
  • "IT'S NOT FAIR! I can't go mini-golfing, I can't play my game, I can't stop going to the bathroom because I ate all that creamed corn... So much corn..."

"Coach Steven"
  • Sugilite being defeated by her own wrecking ball. Complete with comical "Thud!" sound.
  • When Pearl points out to Amethyst that trying to destroy all the pillars in the Gem communication hub would take all day:
    Amethyst: *groans* I hate it when you're right, you get this look on your face. *looks over to see Pearl's dorky smug grin* Yeah that's the one.
  • Amethyst's insanely happy spazzing when Garnet tells her they're going to fuse. Then Steven finds out, and they both start shrieking at the tops of their lungs in excitement.
  • After returning from the mission, Steven, with half his head wrapped in cloth, goes to Big Donut to show off his "battle damage" from earlier to Sadie and Lars. Steven dramatically pulls away the wrapping to reveal... a small scratch on his forehead suitable for a tiny Bandaid. Lars and Sadie, who before were curious/worried, immediately break down laughing.
    • Lars starts boasting about his "awesome six-pack" while struggling to open a jar... and then just has Sadie open it, which she does with very little effort.
    • And then after that, inspiration strikes Steven...
    Steven: That's it! We all need a workout. Let's do it! Let's work out together! (points to Sadie) You can beat up Lars...
    (Sadie looks sheepish, but also lovestruck and absolutely delighted)
    Steven: (points to Lars) And you don't have to starve to death if Sadie divorces you!
    Lars: We're not married!!
  • Tubby Greg builds Steven, Lars and Sadie a very ramshackle "gym", and then offers to join them for a workout.
    Greg: Well, I might join you kids. Show you how it's done. I been slackin' on my workout routine for a few weeks. (frowns) Months... Years... (Beat, coughs sheepishly) Decades...
  • When Greg starts working out, he asks Pearl if she was here to "check out some buff studs". She glances him over and gives the flattest "no" you will ever hear.
  • Pearl hugs Amethyst and Garnet after Sugilite finally comes apart, forgetting that they're in tons of pain from all the energy they used up.
  • Pearl gets so riled up at the end from defeating Sugilite she starts clamoring to go on another mission.
    Amethyst: *pained voice* How long is she going to keep this up?
    Garnet: We deserve it. Take it like a Gem.
  • The first lyrics to "Strong in the Real Way", on Steven and Sugilite: "Why do you have to look up to her? Aside from in a literal sense."
    Can't you see that she's out of control and overzealous?
    I'm telling you for your own good and not because I'm-
    (Pearl realizes what she's about to say, and quickly closes the blinds while blushing.)

"Joking Victim"
  • After Lars slips in the soda Steven spilled.
    Lars: Ugh, Steven, who do you think has to clean up this mess? Sadie, clean up this mess.
    Sadie: No way, it's your turn. I cleaned the last five Stevens.
  • Sadie reveals they don't make their own donuts ever since "The Incident", with the camera scrolling to a corner of the room covered in black marks with the silhouette of a person within it. Additional black comedy is introduced through the use of increasingly dramatic music which gets cut off halfway when the scene switches.
  • Amethyst spending the episode doing absolutely nothing, and trying to get credit for it.
    Amethyst: We make a pretty good team.
    Steven: You were absolutely no help whatsoever.
    (Begin Iris Out on Amethyst)
    Amethyst: (shrugging) Eh.
  • Mayor Dewey unveiling the largest bowl of ice cream in Beach County.. which Lars ends up melting with his flame breath.
    Mayor Dewey: (Makes a call on his cellphone) Yeah, it melted, Gary. Well, you should've said that at the meeting!
  • The incredibly cheesy 80's video about how to run the donut store. It's made even funnier by Sadie's reactions to the video, implying that the video's length is way too long and detailed.
  • Sadie and Steven discussing the VHS tape:
    Steven: What is it?
    Sadie: It's like a DVD shaped like a box.
  • "I know how to burn people!"

"Steven and the Stevens"
  • When Steven's about to be hit by an enormous wave of water in the flooding temple, Pearl breaks into hysterical panicked nervous laughter.
  • After their escape from the Sea Shrine, Garnet bluntly informs Pearl "You have a lobster on your butt." Pearl lets out a hilarious shriek of horror.
  • The premise that when Steven is presented with a powerful time-travelling artifact, instead of going back in time to fix his initial mistake (like properly warning Greg about the boat/fire etc.), he instead decides to form a rock band with himself.
    • It's especially hilarious if you've watched the pilot and know how the time-thing was used to save the day in that episode, but used for such a trivial and idiotic purpose here.
  • Amethyst counting the number of Stevens during the climax.
    • Her nonchalant counting is made better by Garnet and Pearl standing next to her, staring with their mouths hanging open in complete shock.
  • Pearl's face when Steven sings "I accidentally created an alternate timeline!" in the closing song
    • "I learned to stay true to myself by watching myself die!"
  • The Epic Fail that results when Steven tries to stop the boat from getting stuck in the carwash. The Boat ends up hitting a powerline when it backs up, setting the carwash on fire. Steven decides that it being stuck was better.
  • Who do the Stevens get to replace Steven as their drummer after they rebel against him? Amethyst
    "I'm down for whatever"
  • Steven's banter with himself:
    Steven 4: Okey-dokey, artichokey!
    Steven 1: Steven 4, what are you doing? You're not the funny one, Steven 3 is!
    Steven 3: Well, we're all the same person, so we're all equally prone to being hilarious.
    Steven 1: No, no, that's too smart an observation for you, Three! You're the funny one!
    Steven 2: Wait, which one am I again?
    Steven 1: (irritated) DANG IT, Number Two, you're the smart one!!
    Steven 4: Hey... If Steven 1 is the handsome one, does that mean the rest of us aren't good-looking?
    Steven 3: No way! We're all extremely attractive!
    Steven 2: Let's go get jobs as models!
    Steven 1: Hey! None of you are the handsome one! I'm the handsome one! (Stevens 2 through 4 look sad) Ah, no... I didn't mean... We decided... Ugh... Let's take five.
    Stevens 2 through 4: THERE'S A FIFTH STEVEN!?
    Steven 1: (irritated) NO, I MEAN A FIVE MINUTE BREAK!!
    Stevens 2 through 4: Haha, we know!
    • Which results in:
    Steven 1: I can't believe it. I'm so... annoying!
  • During the penultimate scene, Hoodie!Steven not knowing what the hell is going on and generally freaking out.
    • Meanwhile, off to the side, the Gems are observing this whole ordeal in even worse confusion.
    • Steven 1 poses a question to the rest: "When Steven fights Steven, who is the winner? What have we become?!" The crowd of Stevens murmur among themselves, and one in the back, who's lost track of what's going on, pipes up asking: "What have we become?"
    • Someone edited the episode so it's from the perspective of Prime Timeline!Steven, so you can join in his confusion!

"Monster Buddies"
  • Steven taming the Centipeetle, with chips.
  • In a bit of Black Comedy, they find a skeletal spelunker deep in the cave... and the Centipeetle just charges right through it.
  • When Steven shows off the Centipeetle's "spit-acid-on-command" trick. One of them hits and melts a picture of Pearl, changing the picture's expression from happy to furious. The next one hits Amethyst's sandwich.
  • Amethyst spazzing out every time Garnet overrules Pearl.
  • Even though it was a serious Tear Jerker moment, this line said by Steven at the climax of the episode:
    Steven: You have to remember! THIS ALL HAPPENED TODAY!

"An Indirect Kiss"
  • Poor Pearl spends half the episode about one step from going off the deep end. The ridiculous facial expressions are killer.
    • Included in the above is this bit of Hypocritical Humor.
      Pearl: Now, now! Let's keep it together! (fearfully clings onto one of Garnet's arms) Our memories of Rose can't be tainted by some overgrown brambles! (chuckles) Look at them. They're a mess without her guidance. Directionless, pathetic, clinging things. (grabs Garnet by both of her arms) It's going to be okay, Garnet!
      Garnet: (nonchalantly shrugs) Sure.
      Pearl: Y-you really think so?
  • Steven really does not want to tell the story. What really sells the scene is Steven's pained expression.
    Connie: C'mon, tell me the rest!
    Steven: I don't wanna...
    Connie: (Concerned) Steven?
    Steven: *Looks away*
    Connie: (Lovingly) Steven...♥
    Steven: *Groans*
    Connie: (Frustrated) Steven!
  • Steven only agreeing to tell Connie what happened if she lets him wear her glasses. The horrible squinty face she makes really sells the scene.
    Steven: (wearing her glasses) So, how do I look?
    Connie: I have no idea.
  • The power... to heal.
  • Pearl chastising the brambles for being annoying and clingy...while barely holding onto her sanity and sticking to Garnet like glue. Though that it related to Pearl no longer having Rose around to guide her also makes it a bit sad.
  • Garnet calmly shushing Crazy Pearl...and then punching a huge rock through the brambles.
    Garnet: I needed that.
    • Pearl's response:
    Pearl: (on edge, smiling) We could've probably gotten in without hurdling a giant rock (laughs) into Rose's most precious sanctuary, but if you're okay with it, I'M FINE, TOO!
  • Amethyst speaking backwards.
  • Steven has magic spit.
  • It leads up to some serious Body Horror, but Amethyst falling off the cliff is much funnier than it sounds.
    Amethyst: *facepalming* "This is so embarrassing. *CRACK*
  • Connie's expression on finding out that Steven's backwash healed her vision is about on par with what anyone else would be in that situation. Totally squicked out.
  • Despite the significant Body Horror, most of Amethyst's bodily malfunctions are hilarious. Especially when she starts talking in reverse.
    Garnet: We have no choice. We'll have to take her to Rose's healing spring.
    Amethyst: Guys, relax! I'm not gonna get any WOOOOOORRRRRRR—[POP!] ?hcaeb eht no gniod uoy era tahW !syug yeHnote 
  • Amethyst teasing Steven and pretending to almost fall off the cliff.
    "Whaaaat, you care about me or something?"
  • Steven saying that he's too tough to cry.
    Pearl: Just today you were crying about snakes.
    Steven: (teary-eyed) They don't have any arms!
  • The fake-out when it's revealed that Steven's tears actually didn't make the fountain work again.
    Steven: You don't think my crying was...a little related to that?
    Pearl: (sweetly) Oh, Steven, you don't have healing tears. You'll never have any real magic powers, and we don't want anything more to do with you.
    (cut back to the present)
    Connie: She didn't really say that.
    Steven: No, but that's what it felt like.

"Mirror Gem"/"Ocean Gem"
  • Pearl tells Steven that the mirror will tell him all he could ever want to know about Gem culture and history. So when he looks in it and sees his reflection...
    Steven: I must be incredibly important to Gem culture! [Pulls ridiculous face].
  • Even in the mirror, Lapis shows off her Deadpan Snarker side:
    Steven: You work! This is so cool! What's it like being a mirror?
    Mirror: (as Steven) You work!
  • Steven hijacking Mayor Dewey's speech with fart jokes:
    Mayor Dewey: A warm summer breeze wafts through the air...
    Steven: pfrrrrrrt
    MD: We all look forward to the sounds of the summer season...
    Mirror: (as Steven) pfrrrrrrt
    MD: The smells of the busy boardwalk, (pfrrrrrrt) the hot, wet, ocean wind, (pfrrrrrrt) the time to take that pressure that's built up all year and just let it out! (pfrrrrrrt)
    • Don't forget: that's Lapis in the mirror making fart jokes at Mayor Dewey.
    • Also sort of funny is that Kofi is laughing along. He's such a serious guy, it's nice seeing him genuinely laugh.
  • Amethyst tormenting Pearl, who was trying to make the pile of school stuff symmetrical. How? She tries to place a teddy bear onto the pile, only for it to be violently skewered by a frazzled-looking Pearl. The pile of other such damaged items show this had been going on for a while.
  • After the uber scary sight of an angry Garnet minus her glasses, we get this.
    Garnet: That little boy is in big trouble.
    • Followed by a hysterical Pearl.
  • After the shocking revelation in "Mirror Gem" that there are other Gems than the main four in existence, and not all of them are benevolent, the tension is diffused a little by this line:
    Garnet: Steven, you're grounded.
    • In the following episode, "Ocean Gem", Amethyst threatens to bury Steven alive until he "learns his lesson" which leads Steven to anxiously explain "That's not how grounding works!" Even when punishing Steven, the Gems can't quite grasp how Earth parenting works.
  • After learning that the ocean is gone and that the Crystal Gems, along with Greg, Lion, and Connie, have gone after Lapis Lazuli, we see Mayor Dewey crying by what used to be the shoreline, while holding a running hose.
  • The mirror communicates with Steven via Mad Libs Dialogue, leading to a lot of hilariously awkward sentences and repeated voice clips.
  • While riding in Greg's van, Greg puts on a CD, saying it was Rose's favorite. The grimaces from Pearl and Amethyst are quite amusing, but this exchange sells it.
    Greg: So, what do you think, Garnet?
    Garnet: (jumps out of the van and rolls away)
    (cut to Garnet riding on the roof)
  • Amethyst lacks subtlety when delivering what happens to be one of the biggest Wham Lines in the show so far.
    Steven: Gems shouldn't fight each other...
    Pearl: *in somber tone* We're always fighting Gems, actually.
    Steven: What!?
    Pearl: Oh, how do I put this? All Gems aren't necessarily... good, and-
    Amethyst: *suddenly wakes up happy and is excited* All-those-monsters-we-fight-used-to-be-just-LIKE-US!!! *eyes widen even more* Right Pearl?
  • When Greg sees the giant water pillar made out of the ocean.
    Greg: Guys, I just got the best idea for my next album cover.
  • "Revenge!" "Revenge!"
    • Steven then tries to fight a clone of himself made entirely out of water... with a squirt gun.
  • "Lapis, I'm coming up to see you. So please don't drown me!"
  • When the water comes back, Lars rejoices because it means there will be beach babes. Sadie finally gets fed up and shoves him in.
  • The downright awkward exchange between Steven and Lapis after he heals her. It's the last thing you'd expect after such an emotional scene, making it even funnier.
    Lapis Lazuli: Thank you, Steven!
    Steven: No prob, Bob.
    Lapis Lazuli: (beat) It's Lapis...
    Steven: (beat) ...Yeah.
    Lapis Lazuli: (beat) Okay, bye.
    • The 'ew!' look on Lapis's face when she feels Steven's spit-covered hand come in contact with her gem (which is on her back). It's pretty clear she was expecting something less... gross than healing spit.
  • Pearl's neurosis, "Well, what's that you say about the pork chops and the hot dogs?" towards Greg, who's currently in shock over the destroyed state of his van/house.

    Season 1 B 

"House Guest"
  • This exchanging of words.
    Amethyst: What, did Greg fall down and break his butt? Ha ha?
    Garnet: That's not funny.
    Amethyst: (Sad look on her face) I know...
  • When Steven and the Gems leave on their mission, they give Greg a Warp Whistle to signal them if its an emergency and he needs them. Predictably, he blows the whistle twice when they're not even a minute into the mission. The "big emergencies"? The first time: just a test, and the second time: he couldn't find the TV remote.
    • And Steven agreeing that being unable to find the TV remote qualifies as a big emergency.
  • The fact that Greg, somehow, managed to fix a giant ball of electric power with duct tape!
  • Greg giving Pearl a big ol' bear hug for fixing his van. Poor Pearl looks quite traumatized.
  • Pearl's decision to fix the van to get rid of Greg, complete with her lack of vehicular maintenance knowledge and dismissal of the entire thing as primitive and therefor simple. Instead of the predictable utter failure, it ends with her perfectly restoring and improving the van, complete with technical terms like she was a professional grease monkey.

"Space Race"
  • Steven & Greg watch a cartoon called "Crying Breakfast Friends", a show about sentient breakfast foods crying.
    Greg: Yeesh, I must be getting old, I used to like cartoons.
  • Pearl reading out "UUU Space Travel", pronouncing the first part "Ooooh".
  • Steven excitedly showing Pearl the first "spaceship."
    Steven: Ta-da! We built a spaceship!
    Pearl: (curiously): A spaceship?
    Steven: (shows Pearl the "spaceship): A spaceship!
    Pearl: (slower, more skeptically): A spaceship...
  • When Pearl tells Greg his calculations may have been a little off regarding the makeshift spaceship, Greg's response is, "They can't be off if you never made any."
  • Pearl's little monologue before building:
    Pearl: I hear what you're saying and I agree. It would be incredibly dangerous, a fool's errand, this chair is ''disgusting''.
  • During the Hard Work Montage for the building of the Mark 2, Steven uses a blowtorch to... cook grilled-cheese sandwiches for him and his dad.
  • Greg puts a stop to the building of the ship as his being the CEO of the company, which results in an argument between him and Steven.
    Greg: Steven, you're grounded!
    Steven: Whaaaaat?
    Greg: No; you're grounded. You don't get to leave Earth.
    Steven: Oh. whaaaaaat?
    • After which, Steven grumbles about the company bylaws. And when Pearl asks who made him boss, Greg motions to Steven, who can only give a sheepish grin.
  • Steven apparently sleeps outdoors in a cute little caterpillar-shaped sleeping bag.
  • Greg talking in his sleep. "No, don't give him the banana... that's what he wants..."
  • Steven notices Pearl took the van's Mr. Universe sign for the rocket. In accordance with her mom-like tendencies, Pearl gives a small smile and says "If your dad asks, we'll say we borrowed it."
  • "Look at all the buttons! I must press them all..."
  • After the Mark 3 breaks up in flight and Pearl and Steven narrowly escape:
    Pearl: I'm so sorry, I almost got us killed!
    Steven: (deadpan) I'm used to it.
  • Pearl's attempt to get Greg to let her take Steven with her to space.
    Pearl: I'll give him back in 50 years.
    Greg: What?! I'll be dead in 50 years!

"Secret Team"
  • The entire episode is a string of hilarious reaction faces from Pearl.
    Pearl: Secret Team?! What's that?! *laughs nervously*
  • When Pearl and Amethyst storm off after arguing, Pearl does a little pirouette before leaping off the water platform.
  • Amethyst's "DO IT!" as Steven is about to jump off the stack of junk.
  • Fryman's reaction to Steven's behavior.
    Fryman: Steven...are you in a gang?
  • Garnet calls Kiki "Pizza Daughter".
  • This line from Garnet:
    Garnet:(To Amethyst and Pearl) So you two can't get along unless you think I'm going to kill you.
  • "That kid keeps getting weirder."
    • "I like your hat, Steven!"
  • After the Quartet symbolically rip apart their Secret Team Membership Cards (really cards to trade in for pizza). We get this line from Steven
    Steven: You know, between the four of us. (Beat) We could've had a free pizza.

"Island Adventure"
  • Lars grumbling Steven's name in his sleep.
  • "If I'm gonna be bored out of my mind and possibly die, I'm gonna go to work and get paid for it!"
  • The Musical Slapstick Montage is pretty funny. As a little added visual joke you can see Sadie's legs slowly growing stubble.
  • "Sadie! Use your fish-murdering skills to save us!"
  • Steven covering the eyes of his fish with a leaf to keep it from staring at him as he eats it.
  • Amethyst turning her head into a fly's head when Steven warps them back to freak him out.

"Keep Beach City Weird"
  • Steven managing to get not only Amethyst, but Garnet to join him in playing a game of "Steven Tag". Garnet's (morphed into a red version of Steven wearing her shades) smug satisfaction at winning the game, after spiking Amethyst (morphed into a purple Steven) into the ground hard enough to leave a massive crater, just tops it all off.
  • Steven getting into Ronaldo's "restricted zone"... by asking politely.
  • Ronaldo overanalyzing the holes in the cliff near the temple:
    Ronaldo: Their shape and pattern is repeated over and over! Some might say it's coincidence; I say there's something more...
    Steven: Like what, a double-coincidence?
  • Ronaldo providing his own dramatic echo. "This species isn't indigenous to this region... or this dimension-sion-sion-sion!"
  • Ronaldo explaining that "snake people", or "sneeple" keep control of the government at the highest level with "elections, sports, and anime message boards."
  • There's a Freeze-Frame Bonus when the anime message board appears, depicting an argument between a few anime fans. One of the messages appears to be lightly mocking people who insist the character designs from the Steven Universe pilot are better than in the show proper as well as a bit of Self-Deprecation on the creators' part.
    "supa-snake": are you an idiot!!?? Koala Princess has some of the best writing and animation of any show ever made, anywhere. i know theres a lot of dumb Soul Blaster fans here who can't appreciate that. and they should be banned
    "ven0m0us": its koaRA princess morooonnnn!!!! there's no L in chinese
    "piethon": How can you still watch that garbage? its been worthless ever since they changed the designs
  • Steven having to take a minute to wrap his mind around the fact that he and the other Gems are responsible for most of the weirdness of Beach City.
  • Steven's response to Ronaldo's speech on how to find the "truth":
    Ronaldo: Don't get hung up on these minor facts! Truth is about more than that! Truth is a feeling in your gut that you know is true! Truth is searching for anything that proves you're right no matter how small, and holding on to that, no matter what.
    Steven: That kinda sounds like the opposite of the truth.
  • Steven tries to dress up as a snake-person to cheer up Ronaldo. Ronaldo instead bursts into maniacal laughter before knocking out Steven with a potato.
  • Ronaldo (Poor, dumb Ronaldo) picking a "fight" with the Gems. The over the top yells during the "fight" are a stitch.
  • Given the poses the Gems are in, they're actually taking his "psychic ghost powers" seriously. They've probably fought weirder things.
  • Ronaldo's final explanation.
  • Every one of Ronaldo's over-the-top expressions throughout the episode. Special mention goes to the one right after he kidnaps Steven, mistaking him for a snake person, and tries to interrogate him. There's also this one:
    Steven: Uh, Ronaldo?
    Ronaldo: Yeees, Steven? *turns to him with an innocent expression complete with long fluttery eyelashes*

"Fusion Cuisine"
  • When Steven and Connie are watching Under the Knife.
    Connie: My mom says this doesn't represent a real emergency room.
    Show: How did his leg.. get into.. his brain?!
    Connie: She just doesn't understand that it's satire.
  • Garnet's attempts to sound like a reasonable 'Mama Universe' over the phone to Connie's mom.
    Garnet: Hello, this... is Mom Universe. Yes, the children are playing swords. Sorry, playing with swords. They're bleeding. Oh no, they are dead. Don't call again. *hangs up* Sorry, I panicked.
    • Naturally, this is all said in her usual tone of complete deadpan, making the idea that she "panicked" ten times funnier than it would have been for any other character. The look of utter shock on Connie and Steven just sealed the deal. You could almost silently hear them sarcastically say "you panicked!?"
  • When Connie admits that she told her parents Steven has a nuclear family:
    Steven: Nuclear?! Sure they make stuff blow up sometimes, but that's because they're magic, not radioactive!
  • Alexandrite is a six-armed giant woman. Steven thinks bringing her to dinner as is won't raise any eyebrows. This combined with the fact that Connie's parents are too fantastically polite to point out that Steven's mom is a multi-armed giantess with green hair, and it's utterly hilarious.
    • Really, the whole situation is a comedy of Insane Troll Logic. Somehow, Steven manages to convince himself - and everyone else - that introducing a six-armed giant monster as his mother would somehow be less awkward than introducing his single Dad and three Aunts/Moms as his family. Or saying that his mother died of childbirth, which is true in a sense.
      • He couldn't say his mom died in childbirth because Connie had told her parents she was alive, leading to a Snowball Lie.
    • On top of that, the fact that Steven tried to come up with an alternate origin and job for his "mom", as if saying she was an alien who protects the world wouldn't be believable.
  • Wanna know what initiates Connie panicking about the situation?
    Alexandrite: Yes, I hate doctors.
    Connie's Mother: Well, I'm a doctor.
    Connie: Steven, help me find the restroom!
  • Greg referring to Alexandrite as a "massive drink of water." Really, anything involving Alexandrite.
  • Garnet's 'punishment' for Steven's reckless behavior. Pearl's contributes for more hilarity.
    Steven: *squeaking* One thousand?
    Pearl: We would never starve you. But you WILL lose your TV privileges. For one thousand years.
  • In the end, Connie's parents don't bond with Greg and the Gems over how they met, or what they do for a living: they bond over methods of punishing their children.
    Connie's Mother: Wow�that was a masterful use of the "Because We Love You" shutdown. I'm quite partial to the "It's For Your Own Good", myself.
    Connie's Father: That "1000 Years With No Dinner" bit was pretty funny!
    Garnet: All comedy is derived from fear.
    Connie's Father: (laughing) You are too much!

"Garnet's Universe"
  • Nearly the entire episode is a fantasy sequence of what Steven imagines Garnet does all day. Cue an old animé Cliché Storm with such wonderful details as the "secret animal friends" and other characters being voiced by other Steven Universe characters and Garnet spewing various old school anime lines with her usual monotone.
  • At the opening of the episode, Steven sneaks up on Garnet (who knows he's there but humors him a little), jumps on her hair shouting "Steven Bomb!" and "blinds" her by covering her eyes with his hands. It's as silly as it is heartmeltingly adorable.
  • While Garnet is meditating under a waterfall with her animal friends at the start of the Training Montage, Ringo takes the time to wash his hair.
  • Hopper measures Garnet's Power Level while she's training.
    Hopper: Seven thousand! Eight thousand! TEN THOUSAND! NUMBERS HAVE NO MEANING! (power measuring device shows power level infinity and then explodes)
  • When Garnet goes back to challenge the fox again:
    Fox: Looks like you're ready for another delicious beating!
    Garnet: Actually, that last one rather spoiled my appetite.
    Fox: How dare you insult my cooking skills?!
    • The Foxman is very clearly meant to be an expy of Lars, sharing both a voice actor and a color scheme. There's something hilarious about the fact that Steven decided to represent skinny, scrawny little Lars as a giant, extremely buff fox humanoid.
  • Garnet getting the obnoxiously similar names of her animal companions mixed up.
    Garnet: Hoppy— ah, I mean— Hopper, no!
  • "Weighted hair!?"
    • In order to see her new power level, the power measuring device spontaneously reforms... then explodes again.
  • The ending.

"Watermelon Steven"
  • Steven having to help his dad up after Greg bends over too far doing some tricky seed-spitting.
  • The Watermelon Stevens plan to bury Amethyst alive.
    Amethyst: (Crying) Heeelllp! They're gonna put me in the ground!!! Oh noooo!...
    (One of the watermelons bring flowers to put on top of her grave.)
    Amethyst: (Still sobbing) Those flowers are lovely!
  • Ronaldo being beaten up by the Watermelon Stevens. Instead of asking Steven to stop them, he asks him to make sure the camera's recording it for his blog.
  • The fact than the Crystal Gems are for some reason reading the newspaper when Steven arrives at the temple is odd and hilarious.
  • After making an impassioned speech condemning the melons for killing Baby Melon, Steven absentmindedly eats some of Baby Melon's remains. The Gem's disturbed expression only makes it better.
  • Adding to the Black Comedy of the episode, as the Watermelon Stevens are walking away, one of them gets suddenly carried away by a seagull. If you look closely, the little melon is actually waving goodbye as the seagull carries it away!
  • Earlier in the episode, Sadie puts a donut on her Watermelon Steven's head as if it was a hat. Blink and you'll miss it, but after Steven gives a speech in honor of Baby Melon, the aforementioned watermelon takes his donut off and holds it against his chest, as if saluting him.

"Lion 3: Straight To Video"
  • Lion getting the paper bag stuck on his muzzle, and stumbling around trying to get it off.
  • Pearl likes to watch Steven sleep. Often. At the end of the episode, we see her trying to convince the other two Gems to do it instead.
    • After this reveal, Steven tries to get back to sleep and tells them to leave. When he opens his eyes, Lion is staring at him. He tries to send Lion off again, does a repeat, and now Lion and Pearl are staring at him. He chases them off with a pillow, with both Lion and Pearl scampering away on all fours. With Pearl having the most manic looking smile on her face.
  • During the video, Greg introduces himself by his first name, but then suddenly tells Rose to stop the tape. When it starts up again he's got his glasses on and introduces himself by his "Mr. Universe" stage personality.
  • Rose, experimenting with the camera's effects, discovers the show's star-shaped Iris Out effect.
  • Rose films Greg while he's asleep on the beach with a sea gull perched on his belly. The sea gull promptly screeches and flies off, startling Greg awake to Rose's amusement.
    Rose: (Giggling) Greg made a friend!
  • When Steven finds the pocket universe in Lion's mane, the first thing he does is rapidly put his head in and pull it out. After a few times, Lion glares at him and growls softly, causing Steven to chuckle sheepishly and apologize. The pocket universe's musical theme switches on and off too.
  • "Why can't I breathe? Wait a minute, Lion..." The look on Steven's face just sells it.
  • "It's a trap! An adorable trap!"
  • Steven has a dream about playing checkers with Dogcopter, who has a deep mature voice and gives Steven some practical, if vague, advice. Without moving his mouth. Dogcopter pulls out a chess piece and wins the game with it. Then he eats the piece with every sign of satisfaction. The sheer unexpectedness makes the scene.
  • Lion staring at Steven while trying to get him to enter the portal in his mane, before Steven realizes what he's trying to do.
    Steven: ...Blink if this means you love me!
    * Steven blows lightly into Lions face, causing him to blink in surprise
    Steven: He loooooves meee!
  • Sadie telling Steven she and Lars are about to close shop for the day, only for Lars to walk by with headphones on, music blaring and singing along while spraying half eaten donuts everywhere.
    Sadie: ...I'm closing for the day soon.
  • In a bit of Mood Whiplash, Lars intrudes right at the end of the Happier Home Movie, complaining to Sadie that they need to open the shop. Steven and Sadie just stare at him with tears in their eyes, causing him to back away slowly.

"Warp Tour"
  • An allergy ridden Steven is gearing up to sneeze.
    Amethyst: (Ecstatic) Do it at Pearl!
  • Early in the episode, Amethyst goes into Steven's room, and eats a couple "macaroni cheese" packets from the cupboard. The next night, when Steven's watching the warp pad, she asks what the boy is eating.
    Steven: Macaroni and nothing.
  • Amethyst's reaction when the Crystal Gems stumble upon Steven Junior, now with family.
  • When they're watching Peridot, the Gems have to cover Steven's mouth when he talks too loud. A bit later, Steven watches Peridot crush one of her Robonoids and gasps, covering his own mouth, then waves off Pearl and Amethyst when they offer theirs.

"Alone Together"
  • Steven practicing dancing with Pearl. She's too tall and Steven bumps into her, where he falls down aside like a brick and gets her surprised.
  • At the end of the team's dance, the Crystal Gems jump into the air. More specifically, the three eldest float and Steven just makes it into frame before hitting the ground again.
  • Garnet's big goofy smile when Steven and Connie have Fused into Stevonnie. (Pearl thought Steven couldn't do it, Garnet thought he could. Garnet is very happy to be proven right.) Amethyst even thought it was hilarious, given how out of character it is.
  • The fact that both Lars and Sadie are both completely smitten with Stevonnie.
  • Sour Cream DJing with two Game Boy Pockets/Colors and a Game Boy Advance, and his giving away free glow sticks after Steven and Connie De-fuse, just going with the absurdity.
    • Also right after they defuse: "That's two kids! I'm out." -Kevin

"The Test"

"Future Vision"
  • Steven deciding he can't be into an anime (or possibly a Super Sentai show) called "Ninja Squad" any more because he's a "big boy", so he tears down his Ninja Squad poster. Only to replace it with a "New Ninja Squad" poster which looks decidedly more angsty.
  • Steven also decides that saying things like "I'm a big boy now!" is too childish, so he instead tries saying "I'm a... large... man now."
  • When Steven hints that he wants Garnet to go with him to Big Donut for breakfast, there's an amusing sequence where it alternates between Garnet's deadpan face and Steven eagerly awaiting her answer. During the shots of Steven's face, he makes his eyebrows wiggle around with a goofy smile on his face while a silly little chip-tune plays.
  • "I drink coffee for breakfast."
  • Steven's chibi-style imagined deaths throughout the episode including choking on fry bits, falling down a sewer, food poisoning, two Beedrill-esque wasps stabbing him to death, objects falling on him (including the Big Donut, a fridge and a chandelier), and the return of Cookie Cat.
    Steven: Cookie Cat, you're real?! (gets zapped with laser) Ah, no! I never considered that you would be evil!
  • When Garnet has to leave on a mission while a paranoid Steven is making lunch:
    Steven: At least tell me what's gonna happen with my lunch! Do I choke on a pickle?
    Garnet: Umm, you don't choke on a pickle.
    Steven: That means something else happens with the pickle!
  • Steven and Garnet randomly performing an exercise routine to a Korean workout tape. After about thirty seconds, Garnet smashes the stereo with her gauntlet and declares she's had enough.

"On the Run"
  • During their travel montage, Steven befriends a raccoon. In the next scene, it's attacking him. After they board the train and try to eat, the raccoon attacks again.
  • "See? It's MEEEE SIIIZED!!"
  • Steven's final words of the episode: "Crystal Gems FOREVER! Beat Now let's go home so that Steven can sleep in a bed."

"Horror Club"
  • Ronaldo living in a haunted house.
    • Ronaldo greets Steven and Sadie in a costume, laughing maniacally, only to get flustered when he notices Lars, causing him to drop and break his mask.
  • It's kind of surreal to see Ronaldo be more charming than Lars around Sadie.
  • Steven assures the others that he'll be fine with the movie. The next scene has him behind the couch.
    • This might be because he's still grounded from watching TV, and he's simply honoring the punishment despite having the perfect opportunity to skirt around it.
  • Steven finds the movie terrifying. The lighthouse trying to kill them?
    Steven: It happens.
  • We get this line when Ronaldo accuses Lars of being responsible for the poltergeist, while Lars believes he's faking it.
    Lars: Sadie, you're not an idiot!
    Steven and Ronaldo: Hey!

"Winter Forecast"
  • Steven and Connie talking about the animal byproducts in marshmallows.
  • Steven is still banned from watching TV.
  • Greg's Costume Test Montage.
  • Steven, Connie, and Greg freaking out when Greg's van spins out on the icy roads.
  • Mr. Maheswaran tells Steven and Greg "I think you know where the door is... since... you're... standing in it."
  • "If we leave Beach City, bad things are gonna happen! I've seen it! Bad things! Several bad things!"
  • When the Universes finally get Connie home, the Maheswarans offer to let them stay the night because of the snow-storm. Greg is impressed at the prospect of sleeping on the couch.
    Greg: A couch? Ooh-la-la, Chateau Maheswaran!

"Maximum Capacity"
  • Steven saying that it feels like he's waited a whole year for New Year's Eve.
  • Steven getting Amethyst to help clean up the mess instead of Pearl, and the Gem's facial expressions when Steven introduces her.
  • Steven tries to sort Greg's stuff into "Keep", "Sell", and "Burn" boxes, but Greg doesn't think they should burn any of it.
    Amethyst: Ah come on, Greg! What are you afraid of?
    Greg: ...Fire?
  • Greg suddenly mentioning that his uncle has a mansion and he lost the deed to it.
  • Peedee saying that odd numbers feel cleaner.
  • Pearl tapping her noisemakers quietly, and Garnet banging them loudly.
  • This exchange:
    Garnet: They better not be watching that dumb show.
    Steven: Little Butler?
    Garnet: Kssshh. (Hisses like a cat and shudders.)
  • Greg saying that he didn't ask for help because he didn't want the gems to see the mess in the storage locker, and Amethyst replies "Don't worry Greg, I've seen your junk before."

"Marble Madness"
  • How does Connie react to having witnessed an attack by a marble robot? Is she terrified? Awed? Nope! She gives a goofy, excited grin, and gleefully exclaims:
    Connie: I love hanging out at your place!!!
  • Connie tries to get Steven into her favorite book series, but ends up growing continuously more exasperated as it turns out Steven read the books out of order, reading the last book first (because he read them starting with the coolest cover). THIS is the face she makes.
  • Steven says he still doesn't get what a familiar is, which he should know considering Lion is basically his familiar.
    • There's also the fact that Connie explained what a familiar is when she first gave him the books.
  • "GOOP HUG!" Made even better by the fact that even Garnet gets in on the fun.
  • When Steven calls Connie, her mom says that she thinks that his name can't be real.
  • Apparently Steven isn't sure that Onion is human.
  • Pearl, growing increasingly exasperated at the constant Robonoid attacks, is reduced to smacking one with the blunt end of her spear.
    Pearl: Stop! Coming! Here! You! Stupid! Balls!
    Amethyst''': Yeah, let it out! Get crazy!
  • Garnet says they can't fight the Robonoids forever, after the Crystal Gems are seen getting increasingly exasperated with having to fight them. Then she says the following in a hilariously disgruntled tone, like a pouting 4-year-old.
    Garnet: Well, we can, but I don't want to.
  • Steven is allowed to decide on how to proceed.
    Steven: (singing) Let's do the funky flow.
    Amethyst: We're dead.
  • Peridot may be legitimately threatening, but she's also the perfect straight man to Steven's lovable goofiness, from her Double Take when Steven reveals himself to her, assuming that "Stevens" are a species unto themselves that have overtaken the Earth, and the fact that she still takes the Crying Breakfast Friends sticker completely seriously.
    "Why do you keep destroying my things?!"
  • After Steven confronts Peridot directly at the Kindergarten, he admits that it wasn't his best thought out plan. Garnet reassures him... sorta.
    Steven: Okay, I-I might've gone a little too far this time.
    Garnet: Well, Steven, you weren't completely wrong - we learned something new because of your decisions.
    Steven: Alright!
    Garnet: But, yeah, this was a pretty bad idea.
    Steven: Aww, man...

"Rose's Scabbard"
  • Pearl's enthusiasm at describing the battle that took place in the strawberry field, while creepy, is also hilariously inappropriate:
    Amethyst: Man I wish I could've seen it!
    Garnet: No you don't. Countless Gems were broken here. It was a maelstrom of destruction and death.
    (Pearl jumps in front of Garnet with a huge smile on her face.)
    Pearl: But we won!
  • The entire Funny Background Event of Amethyst trying to help Garnet guide the giant axe into the temple. Particularly "the other clockwise" and "push backward", the latter of which Garnet has to tell her is "pull".
  • Pearl tells Steven that sometimes he looks so much like his mother. While standing in front of Rose's picture, he turns around with the goofiest-looking face, asking "Really?". The split second face Pearl gives is priceless.
  • Pearl hands Steven the scabbard. He immediately starts swinging it around like a club.
  • Pearl asks Steven if he's up for the difficult climb to Rose's armory. The next scene has him wrapped up in her bow while she carries him up the cliff.
  • Pearl gets a huge smile on her face when she brings Steven to the armory, only for it to fall flat when he reveals that Lion brought him there before. Her expressions continue to be funny for a while, but stops being so when she hits a full-blown Heroic B.S.O.D..
  • Garnet lampshading how easy it is to conclude that Lion is connected to Rose.
    Pearl: Does Lion have something to do with Rose?
    Amethyst: Ohhh... Of course! That's why he's pink!
    Garnet: It's a little obvious.
  • Steven started using Lion's Pocket Dimension as a storage locker. He demonstrates this by crawling into Lion's mane, then riding a bike out. He even put on a helmet!
    • Normally, he leaps in or at least sticks an arm deep inside to fetch something, usually a fairly big item. During the montage at the end, he casually reaches in to grab... a soda can. Hilarious.
    • Pearl trying to find the gateway in Lion's mane, and Lion not liking it one bit.
  • Pearl trying to wrestle Rose's scabbard away from Lion when he digs it up at the battlefield.
    Pearl: (Manages to pull it out of Lions mouth) Shoo, shoo!
    Lion: *Huffs in annoyance*

"The Message"
  • Near the end of Pearl's reply to Garnet regarding someone sending a message via the Wailing Stone, stating that they were all rounded up, and that they aren't sending a signal to themselves� she asks Amethyst if this was a prank of hers. The purple Gem immediately denies this.
  • "Whoa whoa whoa, hold the phone. Now give the phone to me."
  • The Wailing Stone begins, well, wailing. Garnet manages to shut it off by, ahem, wailing on it with one of her gauntlets, only for it to immediately start wailing again.
    • Steven attempts to quiet the Wailing Stone by placing his arm through it, and its sound travels through him, causing him to scream.
    • Finally, Garnet stuffs a pillow into the Wailing Stone's hole. Then she covers it in dozens of pillows. And then puts Steven on top.
  • Steven's Take That, Audience! moment.
    Steven: (In robot voice) My mind is the internet, I know every continuity mistake ever made on television.
  • Pearl's reaction when Greg gets the message to work coherently:
    Pearl: I can't believe my flipping eyes!

"Political Power"
  • After the first test of the robot disruptor, Pearl announces that she's going to need to cannibalize the washing machine for parts, and Steven will have to wear the same shirts for a while. Steven announces "No problem!" and takes off his shirt to reveal he's wearing another, identical one beneath it for seemingly no reason.
  • Mayor Dewey's descriptions of Steven's "sisters".
    Dewey: You know, the tall one, the purple one, the hot one...
    Pearl: Oh, can I help you?
    Dewey: Yes...
  • Pearl tries to reassure the mayor, "tries" being the operative word:
    Pearl: The power should be back as early as tonight or as late as... never.
  • Steven answers the call to action!
    Steven: Mayor Dewey, this is our responsibility. We'll help you clean up this mess!
    Garnet: (Offscreen) No we won't!
    Steven: I'll help you clean up this mess!
  • The mentions of Ocean Town.
    Dewey: Things could be worse. We could be in Ocean Town.
    (The crowd laughs, except for Fryman, who shouts "Too Soon!")
  • Fryman insists that he can't take care of his family with the power off, then amends it.
    Fryman: Well, [Peedee's] fine, but [Ronaldo] can't take care of himself.
  • When the town starts to riot from the lack of electricity, Onion can be seen brandishing a baseball bat. When Steven goes in to calm down the angry mob, Onion stays firm, narrowing his eyes.

"The Return"
  • After Rose's four light cannons fail to take down Peridot's giant-hand ship, Garnet looks through their telescope not by leaning down to it, but by swinging the entire apparatus, including tripod, through the air with one hand.
  • When Steven decides to call the Mayor, not only is the image of Mayor Dewey amusing, Steven also has Lion in his contacts.
  • Mayor Dewey's reasoning for being scared of the hand spaceship:
    Dewey: As a politician, pointing fingers make me very nervous!
    • Mayor Dewey's "catchy slogan" to encourage people to evacuate the city.
    Campaign truck: E-VAC-U-ATE. E-VAC-U-ATE. E-VAC-U-ATE. E-VAC-U-ATE.
  • Steven telling Lion why he needs to stay put while Steven runs to the Gems:
    Steven: If something happens, Dad will need a new son!
    • If you look closely at Steven's contact list, you can see he has Lion as a contact, despite the fact that Lion can't even speak English.
    • Mayor Dewey's photo on the contact list seems to be a really dorky selfie.
  • It's also sort of creepy, but the Homeworld ship is a giant hand. It spends most of its descent pointing at the main characters, it turns into a finger-gun to fire its laser, and it flicks away Peridot's escape pod.

"Jail Break"
  • Steven's hilarious facial expressions as he holds open the Force-Field Door for Ruby and Sapphire.
  • Garnet working a You Need to Get Laid joke into her song.
    Garnet: I can see you hate the way we intermingle/ But I think you're just mad 'cause you're single.
  • Peridot's mumblings about being forced to go back to Homeworld instead of staying on Earth and checking up on the Kindergarten like she originally planned.
    Peridot: "Go to Earth," they said. "It'll be easy," they said.
  • Peridot, tied up in Amethyst's whip, has to hop out of reach when Amethyst is distracted then headbutt the floor with her gem to activate the escape pod.
    • Prior to the above, when the ship first starts to shake, Peridot's complete rigid body bounces out of Amethyst's reach with the most comically perplexed expression on her face.
  • Pearl's "Woah, tingly!" like reaction to interfacing with the hand ship.
  • Everyone expresses shock that Steven found out Garnet is a Fusion. Is it because it's a soul-shattering revelation? Nope, just a ruined birthday surprise. Steven, ever the cheerful one, says he'll just play along at his birthday.
  • After Lapis Lazuli drags herself and Jasper into the ocean together as Malachite, Garnet comments:
    Garnet: Yikes. They are really bad for each other.

    Season 2 

"Full Disclosure"

"Open Book"
  • When Steven finished The Destiny's End.
    Connie: What did you think of the ending?
    Steven: I thought it was on page 917.
  • The Destiny's End, the final entry in The Spirit Morph Saga, has fifty pages devoted to describing a cake. Steven finds this ridiculous; a cake with no strawberries clearly deserved no more than twenty pages.
  • When Steven decides to get to the "challenge authority" thing Connie mentioned, he conjures three guards to stop them and lists his crimes as "selling without a permit" and "not old enough to drive a cart". Each one is accompanied by a scroll covered in nothing but "blah", only the second ends with "They're pretty serious, guys."
  • Connie's rant about why the ending to The Spirit Morph Saga was terrible is pretty hilarious, especially because of Steven off to the side barely following any of it.

"Joy Ride"
  • The scene with Buck and Sour Cream throwing pizza at Steven's window to get his attention, especially when Sour Cream mentions that they have to deliver what's left to Mr. Smiley.
    Buck: I only wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rain...
    Steven: ...Is that a reference to something?
  • "Freedom smells like pepperoni."
  • Buck realizes the limitation of Screw the Rules, I Have Connections! when he says his father can't tell him how to act like the mayor's son.
    Buck: You can't tell me what to do, I'm the mayor's—wait...
  • Even though the conversation itself is pretty sad, Steven relating his personal issues leaves the Cool Kids completely wide-eyed and in Stunned Silence. He definitely one-upped their problems.
    Sour Cream: I'd become a fisherman any day, if it meant not dealing with tha-aaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!
  • The entire montage of Steven and the Cool Kids playing with the escape pod.
    • When they find it, Sour Cream's first response to the escape pod is to pick up a big rock and throw it at it.
    • And again while Buck kicks it.
      Sour Cream: Here come the rocks! (Drops large armful of rocks on the pod.)
    • And again for the closing shot of the episode.
      Sour Cream: I'm invincible! [subtitle: EARTH FOREVER!!]
  • Sour Cream tells Steven to do some donuts in the escape pod. You should keep in mind that it walks around on three legs.
  • The various photo montages, with everyone making goofy faces and putting on silly glittery stickers. Especially at the end when the Gems get in on the act, although Pearl looks baffled by the whole thing.
  • Steven finally gets ungrounded from watching TV! Also counts as a Heartwarming Moment.

"Say Uncle"
  • One of the first clips for the Uncle Grandpa crossover features Uncle Grandpa, dressed in military gear, aiming a cannon at Steven. When Steven mentions this doesn't seem safe, Uncle Grandpa just says, "Don't worry kid, I'm wearing a helmet."
  • Uncle Grandpa's spectacular introduction to Steven; it involves an elaborate water show with dolphins lining the sides spraying water and birds carrying a wreath as a giant clamshell rises from the water, opening up to reveal Uncle Grandpa is inside. The kicker is that he is dressed as Rose Quartz.
  • Uncle Grandpa dismisses something many fans were worrying about.
    Steven: Oh my gosh, Uncle Grandpa! You're really here, I can't believe it! I mean, I really can't believe it. How is this even possible!?
    Uncle Grandpa: Don't worry bro, none of this is canon.
  • Uncle Grandpa ends up being... well, Uncle Grandpa. Via being present in a flashback to "Gem Glow"—he was in a promotional channel bug, so he could see the episode.
  • After presenting himself to Steven, the first thing UG does is state that nothing that was happening now was canon. To demonstrate, he proceeds to use a literal headcan(n)on to literally sink Lars and Sadie's ship.
    • Prior to the episode airing on April 2nd, the crew had been adamant that it was all going to be canon. A sizeable chunk of the fandom flipped its lid. Sure enough, one of the first things Uncle Grandpa does is write out a big "APRIL FOOLS" in the air.
  • The Gem's reaction to UG's title:
    Amethyst: Uncle... Grandpa?
    Pearl: So that would make him Greg's brother... and father?
    Garnet: That would explain a lot.
  • How do the Gems react to Uncle Grandpa's Reality Warper nature? With complete shock and horror of course!
  • Pearl's entire conversation with Uncle Grandpa is hilarious.
    Pearl: (uneasily) Ahem. Um... Uncle Grandpa?
    Uncle Grandpa: Good morning!
    Pearl: Yes. We have decided to—
    UG: (playing a Smash Bros-esque game with Steven) Play video games?
    Pearl: (patiently) No. Uh...
    UG: (running circles around Steven) Run around in circles?
    Pearl: (less patiently) No...
    UG: (eating a three-way sub with Steven and now Amethyst) Eat a three-way sub?
    Amethyst: (to Pearl) Yo.
    Pearl: (with crazed spirals in her eyes) AMETHYST!
    • Uncle Grandpa's reaction to Garnet telling him they're going to destroy him due to being a threat to both Steven and the world.
    Uncle Grandpa: Bad Mornin'!
  • Pearl's increasing panic over the course of the episode, especially when the Gems are trapped in an eternal white void.
    Garnet: Pearl, you're overreacting.
    Pearl: (cartoonishly freaking out) I'M NOT OVERREACTING!!! (runs off screaming)
    • Note, while she does run off-screen, she does run to the left. She then runs around screaming in the background, coming from the right.
      • This scene even provides this page's image.
    • Even better, how do they get out of the white void? Garnet declares she's completely done with this episode and shatters it.
    • Amethyst's face throughout Pearl's Freak Out that screams boredom and indifference.
    • Why was Pizza Steve with the Gems in the first place? He put on a Paper-Thin Disguise and tried to pass himself off as "Pizza Steven Universe", prompting another hilarious reaction from Pearl. And if you look carefully, a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming.
    Pearl: THAT'S NOT MY BABY!
    • Amethyst ends up eating Pizza Steve, and the episode ends with a dedication to him saying "In loving memory of Pizza Steve", with the same bad drawing of the slice that Pizza Steve had made earlier.
    • Amethyst's dry remark at the end of the episode.
    Garnet: (After Steven used his shield to protect Uncle Grandpa) He must really care about [Uncle Grandpa].
    Amethyst: I hope he didn't care about that pizza.
  • When the Gems finally decide to take down UG, a sudden narration presents the situation as the introduction to a fighting game round.
    • Amethyst then proceeds to trip over the "y".
  • Mr. Gus shows Steven his "Gemsona".
    • Pizza Steve then proceeds to erase the drawing and replace it with a poorly-drawn picture of himself.
    Mr. Gus: Hey! Why didn't you draw that on a new layer?!
  • After Uncle Grandpa leaves, he pulls out a list of people he's visited, and lists off Dexter, Dee Dee, Blossom, Bubbles, Buttercup, Ed, Edd, Eddy, Billy, Mandy, Mac, Juniper, the SWAT Kats (!), Flapjack and Finn. He checks off Steven's name, and the list shows that Clarence is next.
    • Hell, the fact that the friggin' SWAT Kats are smack dab in the middle of the list. One can only imagine what type of chaos ensued as a result of UG's visit to their world- Dr. Viper and Mr. Gus tussling, Burke and Murray chasing down Pizza Steve to try and eat him, UG probably pissing off Commander Feral a whole lot, etc.
  • How utterly exaggerated Pearl is for the entire episode. We've seen her at the point of hysteria before, but this is quite something else. You could swear she was acting like Squidward on a very bad day, or even a rejected Uncle Grandpa character. The fans had a field trip at her over the top expressions and half of them turned to memes instantly.
    • Dee Dee Magno Hall's voice acting is particularly amazing, considering all the dramatic and/or motherly performance she normally gives.
    • Having Amethyst be the calm one next to Pearl's over-the-topness for this episode just drives the comedy even further home.

"Story for Steven"
  • Before Greg starts telling his story while the two are in his van, he tells Steven to "Sit back, and get comfy." His response is to crawl under the covers of the van's bed.
    Greg: I didn't mean that comfy.
  • The incredibly chipper way that Greg introduces Marty, only to say in the exact same tone of voice, "He's dead to me."
  • On the old fence around the Crystal Gem temple, underneath the official "KEEP OFF BEACH" sign, someone (probably Pearl, judging by the handwriting) added a hand-written "Please."
  • Amethyst pretending to be an owl, and Greg's face when she starts talking.
  • The Gems meeting Greg for the first time since apart from Rose they have No Social Skills; Garnet would've thrown him over the fence until Rose stopped her. Speaking of which, Garnet blushes when Rose makes her drop Greg.
  • A tongue tied Greg gives Rose her free T-shirt and while she is flattered...
    Rose: (Stage whisper to the other Gems) His gimmick is space.
  • Amethyst asking Greg to play something, and Garnet manifesting a gauntlet and saying that he'd better make it good.
  • When Greg realizes that he might be late, he asks the Gems what time it is. Pearl hesitantly replies "nighttime?"
  • Pearl's Flat "What." when Greg says that he didn't drop out of community college for nothing.
  • Pearl going all Clingy Jealous Girl when Greg leaves, saying that she can sing. Rose cracks a grin, and Garnet and Amethyst burst into giggles.

"Shirt Club"
  • The episode starts off with Steven drawing images for Greg's guitar classes; when he asks the Gems for feedback:
    Steven: (In response to why his drawing has thunderbolts around the guitar) Well, those are supposed to show how much he rocks at the guitar!
  • Buck entering the Big Donut, sees nothing but donuts on sale... and for reasons unknown, orders a salad; Lars is all too quick to comply, despite the fact that, as Sadie makes clear, they don't even have vegetables.
  • Mayor Dewey trying to speak slang to his son in the hopes Buck will help him get re-elected is forced and all the better for it:
    "You know I gotta gank dem youth votes, boy-eeeeee!"
  • Sour Cream's reaction to being pegged with a Guitar Dad t-shirt: "This is the coolest thing I've ever been hit in the head with!"
  • Ronaldo gets a shirt too... and thinks it's a sign from extraterrestrials trying to make contact with him.
  • Steven firing off the Vote For My Dad shirts into the crowd at Mayor Dewey's bench commemoration is a beautiful spoofing of assassination scenes.
    Mayor Dewey: I've been... shirt...
    • Not to mention that when Mayor Dewey's bodyguards see the "shooting," they both panic and run away.
  • Near the beginning of the episode, the Gems have various boxes and instruction manuals out. When Steven returns later, it turns out the boxes were kits for building basic stools; one of them has been constructed, the other two have been reduced to looking like failed modern art, and the advanced alien warriors appear to have given up trying to fix them.

"Love Letters"
  • Jamie asks Garnet out on a date. The issue? Garnet is a Fusion of two lovers.
    Connie: I think he's asking you out... on a date!
    Steven: Well that ain't happening.
    Garnet: Nope.
  • The flashback to Jamie writing the letter to Garnet shows him in full Shakespearian get-up, writing with a huge quill, with the room he's in lit by candlelight. And then, his quill catches on fire and he spends the rest of the flashback trying to put it out.
  • Jamie's love letter itself is a hilariously over-the-top pile of Purple Prose and tortured metaphors.
    "To Garnet: When I saw you rise like an ancient sea nymph, a white-hot steel pierced the deepest artery of my being! You, you are a cardiac surgeon and I am your transplant patient, and you stand poised over my chest, holding my still-beating heart, hesitating, waiting, wondering! So I implore you to join me for dinner, or maybe lunch if you wanna keep it casual, next Friday at the Crab Shack. I await your response as the camellia awaits the rise of the moon... 'cause, y'know, it only blooms at night and stuff. Love, Jamie."
  • Garnet's original rejection letter was amusingly cold.
    Garnet: Start with the letter "N".
    Connie: Okay. What's next?
    Garnet: Uh, the letter "O".
    Connie: Uh, okay. You can just say the whole word instead of spelling it out.
    Garnet: Period.
    Connie: So "N", "O", period? (realizing Garnet spelt "No.") Oh.
    Steven: I think we'll need more than that.
    Garnet: "The end. Forever. And even after that."
    Steven: "Yours truly, Garnet".
    Connie: At least it's honest and to the point.
  • Connie's reply isn't much better, followed by a perfect summation by Steven as usual.
    Steven: How can we give this letter to Jamie now? He might get upset.
    Connie: Hm... (Holds up a pencil) We can make adjustments. We can match Jamie's poetic language and let him down easy! (Starts erasing the words on the sheet with the pencil's eraser) I watched some episodes of a torrid soap opera once, so I'm confident that I get the gist of romance. (Rubs the eraser on the paper harder) Err... There! (Starts to write on the paper) "Dear Jamie. You, dear camellia, expectantly await the light of my moon, yet my light is more of a scorching, wilting, dry desert heat. And as for your metaphorical surgeon, it is with a heavy heart that I urge you to seek a second opinion. I return your heart to you-"
    Steven: "Also, your hair is nice."
    Connie: "Hair... is... nice. Yours, but not really, Garnet."
    Steven: Perfect.
  • The fact that Jamie is the only Beach City mailman who knows where Steven lives, and that a huge pile of mail built up while he was away.
  • When Jamie confronts Garnet with the (unknowingly fake) letter from Garnet Steven and Connie wrote, Garnet's reply is a really confused and high octave "I didn' write that!" while her face (or what little we can see of it anyway due to her shades) still has that stoic and stern expression she usually wears.
  • When Garnet lets Jamie down easy, the otherwise touching conversation ends on a hilarious note.
    Jamie: So what am I supposed to do now?
    Garnet: Start with local theater.
    (Garnet pats his back so hard he nearly falls over and then walks off.)
  • Pearl asking Greg about "Crying Breakfast Friends".
    Pearl: Do you understand that cartoon show?
    Greg: I don't understand anything anymore.
  • Apparently Amethyst likes to put motor oil on sandwiches.
  • Steven convinces Amethyst to take a "Which Crying Breakfast Friend Are You?" quiz he found online. She gives obviously bogus answers to the first two questions, and Steven asks her "Are you taking this seriously?" Which turns out to be one of the questions in the quiz.
  • "Wait! I have loads more probing personal questions to ask!"
  • Amethyst's impersonation of Pearl, though Garnet doesn't apparently find it amusing.
  • After the third time Amethyst has to regenerate after her physical form gets destroyed, Steven says this.
    Steven: "Is it weird I'm getting numb to this?"
  • Garnet's Comically Serious moment when Amethyst first gets poofed. The fact that the monster's called 'The Slinker' in general,
    Garnet: SLINKER!

"Sworn to The Sword"
  • Steven and Connie's jam song at the beginning. And when Steven and Connie reference their song later, Pearl is completely confused.
  • Connie fighting off a flock of hungry seagulls with her violin bow.
  • Pearl's dewey-eyed expression after Connie convinces her to train her in sword-fighting is hilariously over-the-top. Here it is in full GIF form!
  • Pearl remarks she was only a few thousand years old when she started fighting alongside Rose Quartz.
  • Steven unconsciously summons his bubble-shield around himself and Connie when Holo-Pearl appears (he apparently still has some bad memories of her last appearance). Then he sheepishly drops the shield and walks away after Connie wonders what he's doing.
    Steven: You just be careful, and I will go... over here.
  • The book Steven was reading called 'How to Talk to People' has two simple instructions:
    Step 1: Think of what you want to say.
    Step 2: Say it.
    • It's even funnier because he seems to be really concentrating on the book.
    • And funnier still, these instructions are halfway through the book, which is a thick hardcover. One wonders what all led up to or followed that.
  • Garnet, Master of Comedy
  • "Hey there, Steven! Why're you standing there all sad like that?!"
  • The sheer amount of Black Comedy when Steven sees the many, many times Pearl kept getting turned back into her gem form protecting Rose until the reflection changes to Steven getting protected by Connie...and the image about to show her getting axed to death changes to his horrified expression.
  • Steven and Connie explaining their Battle Couple plan to Pearl:
    Steven: She's the strawberry!
    Connie: And he's the biscuit!
    Both: And that makes us Jam-Buds!
    Pearl: Wha?
  • Pearl getting excited to train Connie and half-human Steven with the mid-air and underwater dueling exercises.

"Rising Tides/Crashing Skies"
  • Just about everything about the actual video, from the Comic Sans font to the odd special effects.
    • They're almost all reminiscent of Windows Movie Maker, which is about as amateurish as video editing can get. Not to mention the horrible editing.
  • Apparently, Ronaldo still wonders if Steven is pregnant.
  • On camera, Peedee refuses the comment that he cried when the city had to be evacuated. Then there's a Smash Cut of actual footage of his father trying to pull him away from the restaurant.
  • "It exploded into an explosion."
  • This bit from the actual footage of the Fryman family in the car as Peridot's ship crashes.
    Ronaldo: (cryptically) Unbelivea—(suddenly whiny) I MISSED IIIIT!
  • The re-enactment of the hand ship crashing into the beach, with Ronaldo's own hand standing in for the ship.
  • Most of the titles of the people who appear on camera.
  • When Ronaldo mentions that he was covering the Gems while interviewing Mayor Dewey, the mayor mishears it as "cover-up", panics, and has Ronaldo thrown out by security, which only convinces Ronaldo the local government is helping to hide something.
  • Ronaldo having to shout when doing a long shot in front of the Crystal Gems' temple on the beach.
  • Ronaldo describes the Crystal Gems as "mysterious" and "reclusive"... then Steven opens the door just as Ronaldo is getting ready to knock, and agrees to an interview if Ronaldo will come in and have some lemonade with him. Making it even funnier is the way Ronaldo's voice cracks when he asks Steven to "participate in a ground-breaking interview".
  • Onion slapping away Ronaldo's microphone in his interview.
    Ronaldo: You can't keep quiet forever!
  • Pearl apparently still doesn't know Ronaldo by name, and calls him Frybo.
  • Garnet grabs Steven and simply puts him atop her hair before walking away.
  • In the background of the fry shop, a pinup calendar can be seen... featuring a potato wearing a bikini.
  • This gold:
    Ronaldo: (Voiceover) The answer may shock you.
    Garnet: Okay.
  • Garnet staring at Ronaldo (having an over-dramatic breakdown) through the door before and after she talks to him.
  • Garnet admitting that she wasn't really going to leave Beach City defenseless...she just wanted Ronaldo's camera out of her face.
  • In a bit of meta-hilarity, if you check the in-universe "Keep Beach City Weird" blog you'll see that Ronaldo tried to post his documentary online. Unfortunately, his first attempt to upload it only uploaded the preview image file and when he finally had it posted it got taken down instantly for copyright violations. Apparently he used copyrighted background music that he thought was "fair use".

"Keeping It Together"
  • Pearl taking over the team's chore wheel by replacing everyone's name with her own.
    • When the camera is focused on the chore wheel, beside it there's a little note that says "Buy engine oil". Amethyst really wants it for a sandwich.
  • Steven trying to get Garnet to split into Ruby and Sapphire to help fold his clothes. Garnet isn't unfusing for laundry.
  • Amethyst saying humans would be funnier if they didn't wear clothes. Steven's reaction is what sells it.
  • Garnet saying the Earth is "janked" if the Injectors reactivate. Amethyst reacts like it's a swear word.
    Amethyst: (Gasps) Garnet! That mouth!
  • The entire scene where the team has yet another encounter with Peridot.
    • Peridot is writing in her log and actually sees Steven for a brief moment before going back to writing, then it dawns on her that Steven is standing right there and shrieks like a little girl.
    • Then she asks him if the other Gems are with him, prompting him to shake his head... then nod and then give an apologetic shrug.
    • Peridot begins rotating her finger like a helicopter. Her face when she activates the fingercopter is priceless. It's like even she's not sure it'll work and is surprised when it does. Then, in her giddiness, she laughs like a madman as she flies away.
    • Pearl's and Amethyst's exchange while chasing after Peridot:
    Amethyst: "I'm gonna bop her good!"
    Pearl: "I'll help!"
  • Steven questioning how the Crystal Gems get the washer and dryer to work up on the hand. Garnet simply answers "Magic", with a literal Hand Wave.

"We Need To Talk"
  • Greg's reaction to Steven and Connie fusing.
  • Flashback Amethyst's antics are hilariously dog-like. When Greg pays her for playing the drums in food, she holds it in her mouth and worries it like a dog with a toy, and Garnet later manages to get some time to talk seriously to Greg without her by throwing a stick for her to fetch. Worth noting is that this is thousands of years after the Crystal Gems adopted her.
  • Pearl does the most ridiculously over-the-top Mic Drop after fusing with Rose in front of Greg. Greg does the same... then immediately realizes he's damaging valuable equipment.
  • Amethyst eating her popcorn in the background as Pearl talks to Greg.
  • Greg trying to dance like Pearl. It doesn't go well.
  • Amethyst stumbles across Greg, passed out from the exertion of his dance practice, and bluntly asks "Hey! Are you dead?"
  • After Garnet gives Greg some advice, she takes off her glasses, revealing her third eye.
    Greg: Eye! ...think I get it.
  • Rose truly is Steven's mother: when Greg stuns her with a kiss, she gets Steven's star eyes.
  • This lovely bit of Getting Crap Past the Radar:
    Greg: Look, these last few months have been great...
    Rose Quartz (sultry voice): Oh, yes...
  • While it leads up to some serious Mood Whiplash, this exchange is rather amusing:
    Greg: I'm starting to worry about the future...
    Rose Quartz: Just ask Garnet!
  • When Greg asks Rose how she met the other Crystal Gems, we cut to the Gems watching from behind a giant stone hand on the beach.
    • Even funnier is the fact that he refers to the three as "Harpo, Groucho and Chico".
    • Amethyst isn't even trying to hide, and even waves at the pair.
  • There is just something so hilarious about how jealous Pearl is and the lengths she goes to show Greg that she is closer to Rose than he is.
  • Rose's general response to Greg's declaration of how loving her is torture, after he tells her to not be sorry. Just the tone with which she says:
    Rose Quartz: What?! Why not? Oh, I'm so confused!
  • There's something funny about Greg's record collection, and the completely random names of the fictional bands. He puts on a record by the Philosophy Majors called "Nietzsche's Breakdown" ...which turns out to be an incongruously-upbeat piece of psychedelic pop rock.

"Chille Tid"
  • Steven looking for Lapis underwater by having Amethyst hold him by his ankles over the side of the inflatable raft they're using.
    • And then when Steven starts running out of air, Amethyst can't remember if the signal to haul him back up again is "one squirm or two."
  • Amethyst actually refers to Pearl as pierogi with her first line of the episode!
  • Steven flopping on the floor of the raft like a fish.
  • The entire conversation about the life jackets, especially Pearl's dislike of them and reference to them as "life diapers."
  • When Steven tries to give Garnet a life jacket, she throws it overboard and shapeshifts a cooler-looking one in her colors instead.
  • Pearl of all beings misusing light years, and Amethyst calling her out on it... but just saying that they're about "light".
  • Steven being so tired he walks off the side of the raft, and Garnet catches him.
    Steven: First one to catch something wins.
    (Steven walks off the raft, Garnet catches him by grabbing his foot)
    Garnet: I win.
  • When Steven notes that the Gems look exhausted, we get a Gross-Up Close-Up of the three of them with age lines and messed up hair.
    Garnet: (Stubbornly, through gritted teeth) We look AWESOME.
  • Garnet tells Pearl and Amethyst to stay and relax while she goes to look for Malachite.
    Garnet: (gritted teeth) Cause I'm always relaxed.
  • Garnet's line before warping away sounds like something a mother heading out for the night might leave on a note or an answering machine.
    Steven, put these Gems to bed. Don't stay up too late; there's snacks in the fridge. Bye.
  • Steven's sitcom-like dream with Pearl as the mother, Amethyst as the rowdy sister, complete with a laugh track.
    Pearl: Amethyst, what did I tell you about riding that thing in the house?
    (Amethyst skates past on a skateboard.)
    Amethyst: Have fun at your dance, dude.
    ''(Pearl gives a frustrated grunt as Amethyst skateboards up the stairs.)
    Amethyst: Bunga-cowa!
    Pearl (Chasing Amethyst up the stairs): Amethyst, I'm gonna get you!
  • And then Garnet shows up...and she's the equivalent of The Fonz or something because the audience starts cheering like crazy. Later on, sitcom Garnet appears in Steven's third dream as one of the things he labels as "not Lapis."
  • To help Pearl go to sleep, Steven talks about a dream he once had, however the dream just drones on until both Steven and Pearl go to sleep.
    • The dream Steven talks about is how he suddenly found himself inside the back of Greg's van from exiting the Big Donut, except instead of Greg driving in the front seat, it was Lion. Not only that, Steven seemed more surprised that he was driving really well.
  • There's something amusing about the way the Pearl cloud eats the Steven-Copter and spits him out.
  • Dogcopter meowing like a cat in Steven's dream.
  • Amethyst riding a whale.
  • When Steven wakes up a second time, we find Amethyst laughing at an amusing dream that Pearl is projecting of her and Rose traveling the world. When she talks about Rose leaving Greg, Rose turns her head only for Pearl to see it has the face and voice of Greg, who proceeds to open his mouth and a slice of pizza slides out like an old Polaroid insta-matic picture.
    Pearl. Thank you so much...FOR FIXING MY VAN!
    • Hell, the surf board they're riding is a pizza slice too!
    • The noise she makes upon awakening.
    • When Steven needs to go back to sleep, they ask Pearl to tell about it since talking about dreams is boring:
    Pearl:' Me?
    Amethyst: Come on, Pearl! It's for the greater good!
    Pearl: Well, if I must. So, in my dream I was-
    (Steven is deep asleep, snoring loudly)
    Amethyst: Ha, wow, he been asleep!
  • Garnet, who comes back at the end of the episode, shows the others the proper way to sleep... faceplanting on the sheets.
    Pearl: That's pretty convincing.
  • Steven attempting to sell Pearl on his slumber party idea.
    Steven, cheerfully: All of us together, peacefully dozing off! It'll be like there isn't a vengeful Fusion boiling the ocean with hatred!
    • Before that, Steven says it will be fun and Pearl acts like she's unfamiliar with the word.
    Pearl: Fffffffffun?
    • When Pearl tries to escape the scenario by begging Garnet to come, we get this beautiful conversation:
    Pearl: Let me— er, us help you! We're a team!
    Garnet: No, right now you're a party. A slumber party.
  • Though somewhere between Nightmare Fuel and Tear Jerker with how Steven woke up from his nightmare with Malachite, his attempt to tell Garnet what happened is hilarious.
  • The title card (from the official blog) being a parody of funny Splash Mountain pictures, with Garnet chilling with a newspaper and a cup of coffee, Amethyst slapping her butt while Pearl tries to avoid her hair, and Steven asleep with a pillow and blanket.

"Cry For Help"
  • With how overcome with excitement she is, Pearl's crying with joy at Garnet's invitation to fuse results in some pretty hilariously extreme faces.
  • Amethyst pointing out how weird "Crying Breakfast Friends" is.
  • Sardonyx's face when she says "elegant!".
  • "Amethyst, get your head out of the fridge!"
  • Steven and Amethyst eventually decide to spy on the communication tower in order to see if Peridot comes back. Steven thinks he's spotted her, but it's just "some weird cactus".
    • To be fair, we get a shot of the cactus and it is distinctly Peridot-shaped.
  • While waiting for Peridot, Steven is doing a little optical illusion with his fingers. Amethyst tries, but isn't able to do it before Steven moves her Peek-a-Bangs away from her eye.
  • Garnet watching an episode of "Crying Breakfast Friends" with Steven. She's just as confused about the show as Amethyst is.
    Steven: But it's a really good one so far!
    Garnet: Not really.
  • Although a tad on the dark, sad side, Amethyst's remark at the end.
    Amethyst: Why can't things work out the way they do in cartoons?
  • Sardonyx has a Noblewoman's Laugh.

"Keystone Motel"
  • The episode picks up shortly after the events of "Cry For Help", with Garnet still mad at Pearl and not talking to her. Then Greg bursts into the room with a big ol' smile on his face.
    Greg: Who wants to go on a road trip! (beat) Um, is this a bad time?
  • This conversation showing the slight differences between our world and the show's:
    Greg: I gotta drive over to the next state, Keystone.
    Pearl: You mean the Keystone State?
    Greg: Right, the state named Keystone.
  • The reason for the road trip: Greg needs a new tunnel brush for his car wash. Steven makes a Call Back to Season 1:
    Steven: I don't like those brushes, they feel weird on your fur.
  • Steven's excitement over the motel room.
    Steven: I'm gonna swim in the pool, order a movie, get free ice!
  • "I'm gonna see a man about a tunnel brush... an Internet man. If I'm not back in an hour, call the police..."
  • Ruby going into the pool while pacing and sinking to the bottom, still pacing and still ranting, eventually causing the pool to boil over. When we check back, the water has evaporated and she is still pacing in there.
  • Sapphire in general seems to be the epitome of The Comically Serious: it's clear where Garnet gets it from. "Can't you see I'm completely engulfed with rage?"
    Steven: Uhh, Sapphire? The toilet's frozen.
    Sapphire: Such is fate.
    Steven: Am I fated to pee outside in the grass too?
    Sapphire: Yes.
  • Greg being glad that the Internet-person he went to meet "wasn't an axe murderer".
  • Greg finding Sapphire sitting alone in a frozen hotel room and his reaction to it. He's more resigned than surprised...
    Sapphire: (referring to the pizza) He's not going to like that, it's square.
    Greg: (closes door, sighs) Oh boy. Where's the other one?
  • Steven overreacting to a square pizza. "What's wrong with this crazy state?!"
    Greg: Son, there will come a time in your life when you learn to accept all pizza.
    • The fact that Steven's overreaction to the square pizza was predicted by Sapphire in the conversation above.
  • Greg continuously tells Steven that they're gonna go to the Best Diner in the World. It seems like he is simply exaggerating to make Steven excited. Cue to them going, only to find that it is literally the name of the diner.
  • Ruby's anger in general. Despite the seriousness of the situation, and the fact she has every right to be angry, she manages to make most toddlers look dignified. Even funnier when coupled with Sapphire's absolute calm... and nonchalant levitation on to the bed while Ruby snarls and paces.
    Ruby: I am an eternal flame, baby!
    (slams the table)
    Ruby: YOU DON'T KNOW ME!
    Sapphire: How can I possibly not know you? We always fuse.
  • Ruby and Sapphire being such Sickeningly Sweethearts when making up that Steven blushes and covers his eyes.
  • Sapphire's channel recommendation can be a little humorous if 43 happens to be your channel for Cartoon Network.
  • Ruby's breakfast at the diner being the only one made into a smiley face. Apparently the diner employees thought she was an angry little child, as not even Steven received a plate with a smiley face on it.
  • During the diner scene, you can see Steven hanging a spoon from his nose with a goofy, Comically Cross-Eyed grin on his face while waiting for breakfast.
  • Poor Greg having to pay for the damage Ruby causes at the diner... and then at the end of the episode commenting that they can't go back to that diner again.

"Onion Friend"
  • Steven trying to keep Onion (with a stolen bag of chips) from escaping the temple. Steven blocks the door, but Onion resorts to dive-bombing through the screening window.
    Steven: ONION! We just put that screen in!
  • Vidalia may be a middle-aged housewife, but she hasn't lost much of her edge.
    Vidalia: (Showing Steven an old photo of herself and Amethyst) Aren't we the spitting image of mischief?
    Amethyst: Hardly! You're wearing slippers.
    Vidalia: You don't know what I've done in these shoes!
  • Vidalia calls Onion her "little troublemaker" while casually tossing away a pair of scissors he managed to get his hands on.
  • Amethyst's blink-and-you-miss-it impression of Marty.
  • Out of nowhere, Onion shows Steven the video of when Vidalia gave birth to him without any explanation.
    "Big thank you to the CN S&P team for working with the Crewniverse to produce an insane 11-minutes of television tonight. #HappyBirthdayOnion"
    —Matt Burnett's Twitter.
  • Vidalia cheerfully telling Amethyst not to worry about the Garnet and Pearl situation, because "it'll blow over. You're a rock!...That's what you are, right?"
    Amethyst: Eh, something like that.
  • Onion has a impressive collection of Guys and Gals. Among them:
    (Onion holds up a empty ball)
    Steven: Cool, Invisible Guy!
  • The end of the episode, when Steven finally is convinced that Onion is not as weird as he thinks he is...only for Onion to open his mouth and reveal the mouse Steven thought he fed to the snake earlier jump out. Steven's super freaked-out expression really sells it.

"Historical Friction"
  • Steven's "accent".
  • "ACTING!"
  • This little exchange, when Pearl admits she was there when William Dewey founded Beach City:
    Steven: You were there? Wait, what really happened?
    Pearl: Well, for starters, "ruggedly handsome" seems rather generous.
  • When the play is about to begin, Mayor Dewey sits down next to Pearl and tries to flirt with her. She responds by standing up and moving to the very back row, as far away from him as possible. His dejected expression is the cherry on the cake.
  • Jamie getting nervous and saying that the play could make or break his career, then amending his statement to hobby when Steven asks how the play would affect his post office job.
  • Pearl cheering loudly during the play when Steven appears, in full-on "over-enthusiastic embarrassing mom" mode.
    Pearl: (Excitedly) There he is! Hi, Steven! You're soo talented!
  • Jamie playing Pearl and Garnet in the play; Garnet was Jamie wearing his "Movie Star" sunglasses from "Love Letters" and a cardboard box colored with black sharpie, while Pearl was him with slicked-back hair and a party-hat for a nose. Meanwhile, Amethyst was played by a mop with a piece of costume jewelry glued on.
    • Jamie had Pearl pegged.
      Jamie (as Pearl): I am Pearl, and I come to you as a messenger of the brilliant...(voice cracks) ROSE QUARTZ!
  • Steven portraying his character of William Dewey as a "failure-dunce". He even goes so far as to make him so incompetent that he can't even turn a sail properly.
    William: (After accidentally elbowing off the sail) Ah! I can't even turn a sail right! Why must I always struggle?!
    • And what's Buck's reaction to his accidental-prone great grandfather?
      Buck: Wow dad, what a loser.
      (Mayor Dewey slides off the chair in embarrassment)
  • The conclusion of the play.
    William: I shall name this new land in honor of my first mate Buddy.
    (Jamie-as-Buddy rolls onto the stage on a skateboard, before quickly kicking it away)
    Buddy: I'm alive!
    William: OK, Beach City it is!
  • Nanefua Pizza slapping Jamie on the rear as she leaves.
    • Made funnier by the fact that it's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it gag.
  • Near the end of the episode, Steven says you should always end with a joke. Then you realize they ended the play with Mayor Dewey's campaign poster. And then Steven, Pearl, and Jamie just stare awkwardly at each other for a few seconds, certainly NOT ending the episode itself with a joke.

"Friend Ship"
  • Peridot's actions during this episode are hilarious, with her going full-on Large Ham 80s cartoon villain, complete with her crying her desire to 'get vengeance next time' as she flies into the air with her handcopter.
  • Steven giving Peridot a cheerful "Good morning!"
    • And when she escapes:
    Steven: Have a great weekend!
    The Gems stare at Steven disapprovingly.
    Steven: I mean... I hope her weekend is not so great?
  • Peridot blasts herself flat on her butt with her plasma cannon's recoil, resulting in yet another hilarious expression.
  • Pearl messing up the Crystal Gems' first attempt to catch Peridot at every turn in a desperate attempt to appease Garnet.
  • Peridot crawling around on her fingers.
  • Steven has to brush off some plantlife so Peridot can hear them at one point. Then she tries to activate a defense system, but has to hit several buttons until she finds a weapon that still works. The communicator even has lag, and Peridot has to take a moment for the Crystal Gems' message to get through before she can retort.
  • This exchange:
    Peridot: How does it feel to be so easily outsmarted, you clods!?
    Amethyst: Hey, uh, this is Amethyst, I don't appreciate being called a clod, you clod!
  • One might not know if this scene should make a viewer scared or trying to restrain a grin but:
  • Circumstances aside, Steven and Amethyst running around like a couple of headless chickens shouting, "What do we do!? What do we do!?" is an amusing image.
  • Amethyst manages to catch Steven, but Pearl and Garnet fall all the way down. Steven asks, if they're ok, and...
    Garnet: We're fine! (Trap activates)
  • Peridot threatens the Crystal Gems with her Arm Cannon, then points it upward while making the stupidest face ever to blow a hole in the roof to fly out of.
  • When Steven grabs onto Peridot's leg to stop her escaping, Peridot tries to get him off not with her Arm Cannon, but by repeatedly flicking her finger in his face
    Peridot: Hey! Get your touch-stubs off me, you Steven!
    • What's Steven's response to that? He bites her foot!
  • Peridot's burst of Angrish when she can't get the old Gem tech to work properly.
    Peridot: GRRRR stupid button here Idon'tknowwhereanythingisRAAAAHHH!

"Nightmare Hospital"
  • Connie saying that she needs to assume her "Secret Identity" when she puts her glasses on.
  • Steven and Connie's exchange with the exaggerated "eth"s.
  • In a Black Comedy way, Connie's mom using an abacus to calculate how long to ground her daughter.
    Connie: I hate that abacus...
  • Steven falling over Lion's front after coming out of a portal and catching himself by grabbing Lion's nose.
  • Steven explaining that he can use Lion Lickers as a Food as Bribe method to get Lion to listen to him... and then Lion grabs the Lion Licker without even waiting for Steven to unwrap it, causing the two to burst into giggles.
  • Connie's calling out of her mother for not knowing the real her has her point out that her glasses haven't had lenses for almost a year.
    Dr. Maheswaran: What, your eyesight just "magically" got better?!
    Connie: YES!
    Steven: (shrugs awkwardly)
  • Some of Connie's mom faces through the episode are really hilarious.

"Sadie's Song"
  • Lars brushing Steven off when the latter tries to hand him a Beachapalooza poster. Undeterred, Steven says he'll leave it for him, and places it down at his feet, exactly where he was standing when Lars brushed him off.
  • Sadie being adorable and singing while stocking the back room, and Steven watching in awe, especially when Steven starts cheering her on and she gets flustered.
  • The concept of Sadie having trouble singing is hilarious if you know that her voice actor is part of the professional comedy/singing duo Garfunkel And Oates.
  • Steven discovering that Barb is Sadie's mother.
    Steven: Barb! I knew you delivered the mail, but I didn't know you delivered Sadie!
  • Apparently, Sadie's mom once beat up an umpire.
  • Steven's Beachapalooza act two years prior led to the organizers instituting a rule that all performers must be clothed.
  • Kiki Pizza doing a comedy act, with Nanefua as her "ventriloquist dummy".
  • Jenny being a little too excited at the thought of someone getting hurt by a juggling accident.
  • Jamie as a mime. That is all.
    • Made ever better by the teens' rather unimpressed reaction to it:
    Jenny: The box, he's doing the box.
  • When her stage fright gets to be too much and Steven tries to "fix" her makeup, Sadie dunks her head in a cooler of water in a fit of pique.
  • Steven performing Sadie's routine in her place at the end of the episode... complete with a midriff-revealing outfit, makeup, and dance moves. And apparently Nanefua Pizza saw it coming: "That 'Mystery Guest' bit had Steven written all over it."

"Catch and Release"
  • "Goodnight, ominous triangle at the foot of my bed!"
  • When Peridot's arms and legs are left behind, Amethyst thinks she was blown to pieces instead of being poofed ("Ewwww, sick, there's bits of her all over!") Then she throws them all into the ocean and sarcastically pretends it was an accident. Steven later apologizes for that.
  • Peridot's increasingly humorous Freak Out sessions.
  • Amethyst pretending that she's Peridot, come back to kidnap Steven, then asks to confirm that its been long enough to joke about it, to which Steven replies that it's only been an hour.
  • When Amethyst asks why Steven has Peridot's foot, he asks her if she thinks it's lucky. She replies that it's wasn't for Peridot.
  • After both of the above, Amethyst tells Steven that she'll be in her room eating garbage.
  • Steven sliding down the tube in the Burning Room and doing a flip, only to land hard on the floor and have to limp away.
    Steven: Triple 550 Deluxe with No Cheese! (Crash!) ...Yep, perfect landing...
  • Steven's reaction to Peridot's reformed body after she loses her technological limbs, revealing that she's the exact same height as him.
    Steven: You're like an angry little slice of pie!
  • Peridot's and Steven's interactions in the Burning Room, where Peridot resorts to slapping at Steven in an attempt to attack him.
  • Steven flicking Peridot in the nose with the "what's on your shirt" trick, especially since she doesn't seem to know what a shirt is, making it especially funny when she does it to him in an attempt to escape and gets it wrong, only saying "What's your shirt".
    • And Steven starts to answer the question.
  • When Peridot escapes the Temple, she turns around and shouts out "Freedom is mine!"... while the Gems are sitting at the table. When the Gems burst into action, Amethyst stuffs an entire pizza (and box) into her mouth.
    • Just the way each party stares at each other.
    • Peridot blithely jogs right over the Warp Pad in her escape attempt.
  • Peridot tries to run away from the Crystal Gems by running on all fours! It's just like parents running after a playful child.
  • Peridot trying to create a diversion to get away from the Crystal Gems. It doesn't work.
    • Later when she jumps down from Steven's bedroom to avoid Amethyst, she bounces off the couch and lands on her face.
  • "You may have won the war, but the battle isn't over, crystal clods! Nyaahaahaahaahaa!"
  • Pearl asking if they should tell Peridot that she's hiding in the bathroom.
  • When Peridot decides to use the toilet to escape, Amethyst tells her she can't flush herself down the toilet. Amethyst has tried that before.
    • Accompanied by the image of an a pissed-off Peridot spinning around in the toilet as it flushes.
  • Another Amethyst bit:
    Steven: She knows something; something that's made her scared.
    Amethyst: Duh, homegirl knows we're gonna beat her into a green pancake.
  • Peridot getting surprised by Garnet calling out to her and falling off the sink.
  • It seems that Peridot and the Crystal Gems might actually have a conversation when Garnet tries to talk things out with Peridot. Then Peridot calls her a Fantastic Slur ("filthy war machine"), and Garnet immediately responds "Okay, let's kick her butt."
  • While messing around in the bathroom, Peridot accidentally turns on the hot water, and Steven tells her that she had to turn the knob the other way to get cold water.
  • Peridot making faces in the mirror.
  • Peridot's attempts to escape the bathroom become increasingly pointless and unhinged as time goes on, culminating in her hanging from the shower curtain rod, screaming at the Crystal Gems through the door while brandishing a plunger.
  • It should be noted that during all the time Peridot spends frantically running around the bathroom looking to get out, there's a perfectly good window right next to the mirror.
  • Pearl genuinely considering keeping Peridot on a leash. Guess what ends up happening three episodes later...
  • Steven having to pee outside. Again.
    Amethyst: Just pee in the ocean bro, like a feeesh.
    Steven: What is it with you guys and making me pee outside?!
    Amethyst: Well I have fun doing it.
  • Steven enters the bathroom again the next morning by giving Peridot her foot back. As he does his morning routine, Peridot questions if every object he touches is a weapon.
    • Taken to its logical conclusion:
    Steven: Now do you mind moving [off of the toilet]? I have to use that.
    Peridot: ...For what?

"When it Rains"
  • The very fact that the Crystal Gems are arguing with Peridot through the door... while Steven is in the bathroom. He apologizes for interrupting their "interrogation".
  • Amethyst asking if the Cluster is made of granola.
    Peridot: What's granola?
  • Pearl making this face when Peridot refuses to crack.
  • Pearl lampshading how Peridot is a Harmless Villain without her limb enhancers. Cue response from Peridot.
    Peridot: I'm not harmless!
    Pearl: Oh hush up!
  • The first clip is funny in a heartwarmingly adorable way, as Garnet makes a dramatic announcement out of telling Steven she loves him.
  • The first two promos were harmless, with one falling solidly under Heartwarming. The third? Peridot hears a thunderbolt, kicks open the bathroom door, and charges out so fast she bounces off the wall. Her wide-eyed expression does not help. This Gem was once feared.
  • Steven running around in the rain whooping and hollering.
  • Peridot repeatedly denying that she's gonna "crack". Her voice does.
  • When Peridot finally cracks and tries to tell Steven about the Cluster, she announces that she has information to share with him. Steven tells her that he already knows she's been using his toothbrush.
    Peridot: What? No! ...well, yes, but that's not important.
    • This post by a storyboard artist shows her using the wrong end, thinking it'll protect her from cavities.
    Peridot: (thinking) Like hell I'll let "cavities" get me before the Cluster does.
    Artist's note: Hell is not an on-show term.
  • Peridot assuming that Steven was made in the Kindergarten, and her reaction to learning that he's a Half-Human Hybrid.
    • She completely loses interest when Steven tells her that he calls the story of his birth "The Ballad of Rose and Greg".
  • Peridot showing off to Steven in her unique way.
    "I wasn't lucky enough to be around for that, but I read over a few hundred years of REPORTS!" [gives a proud thumb point to herself, smiles and laughs]
  • Peridot first failing to rip off a panel Steven manages to remove with little effort, then having to get a boost from him to lower the control panel so she can reach it.
  • Steven tells Peridot that she has to hold his hand when they go to the Kindergarten. When they step off the warp pad, they fall off a fairly tall cliff and both faceplant on the ground. Steven, still face down, reaches over and puts his hand over hers. Apparently Peridot forgot that she can't Wall Run without her limb enhancers.
  • When Steven summons his bubble around himself and Peridot and they have to outrun the Gem Mutants:
    Steven: Let's run into this corner!
    Peridot: Oh no! We're cornered!

"Back to The Barn"
  • Peridot explains the Cluster to the Gems as diagrams on a cardboard box Steven is under. Steven also uses a sock puppet to represent the Cluster.
  • How Peridot gathers material in Steven's room/house. She grabs something, declares it may have a use, then proceeds to smash it. One has to wonder if they actually have any use, or if she's getting petty revenge by smashing what she believes to be the Gem's property. Naturally, Steven doesn't take too kindly to Peridot trashing his microwave, telephone, and TV for spare parts, and eventually stops her.
    Steven: Wait! I have a better idea that doesn't involve destroying the house!
    Amethyst: Classic Steven...
  • Steven drew a cute little drawing of a drill on the chalkboard, and is spinning around on a swivel chair. When Pearl tells him that the final product won't look like the drawing, he squeaks to a stop with a frown.
  • Peridot dismissing Pearl like one would a servant. When Pearl stays where she is...
    Peridot Hmm. Good, yes, this is adequate. Thank you. You can go now.
    Pearl: Um, what?
    Peridot: Hm? Um, that will be all? (Claps hands)
    Peridot: (Out of the corner of her mouth to Steven) How do you get her to leave?
  • Steven trying to wrap his head around the idea of there being multiple Pearls.
  • Although it's a bit dark, Peridot starts poking at Pearl and mentions that she looks like an "fancy" model of the Pearl type while inspecting part of the bow on her back. There's something weirdly funny about Pearl blushing, and about how casually rude Peridot is being. At one point Peridot says that Pearls are only meant to stand around looking nice while holding things for other Gems, then adds a confused "right?" indicating she's not around them that often.
  • Peridot says that she should be in charge of the drill project due to her being a 'certified Kindergartener'. Granted, it means something different to her, but that doesn't stop it being funny.
  • Steven pitching the idea of a robot competition.
  • Peridot holding an electric drill upside-down and dropping it.
  • After both robots are done being built, Peridot complains that even Pearl's robot is taller than hers.
    • Pearl even uses it to claim victory like a child.
      Pearl: Mine's taller. I win!
  • Amethyst and Garnet sitting and watching the competition while eating popcorn.
    • Garnet is even tempted to try a piece, but decides against it before she pops it in her mouth.
  • During the robot competition a speed round is held, while both Pearl and Peridot's robots are equal in speed, they don't notice a tree is about to hit them. The tree ends up winning the round and is added to the chalkboard.
    • In one round, the robots play "Rock, Paper, Scissor". Pearl's robot at least has something like fingers, but Peridot's robot just has a big claw. We never find out who got the point for this.
    • Another round involves them painting Amethyst. The two end up tying due to "subjective interpretation".
      • Keep in mind, Peridot's painting is just a purple squiggle, while Pearl's is at least recognizable as Amethyst.
  • There's something amusing about Pearl thumping Peridot during their scrap toward the end.
  • Amethyst being extremely enthusiastic about the robot brawl and Pearl beating up Peridot.
  • Steven when the robot fight starts: "Stop! Giant robots shouldn't fight!"
    • The fact that immediately after he says that, Amethyst jumps in to chant "Fight! Fight! Fight!"
  • Steven ending the episode by pretending his Cluster Hand Puppet is attacking him.
    Steven: (After his hand puppet "attacks" him) Aah, we're doomed!

"Too Far"

"The Answer"
  • Ruby's freak-out when Sapphire drags her out of the arena.
  • The Homeworld Gems are sent into Stunned Silence by the sudden fusion of Ruby and Sapphire, completely forgetting about Rose and Pearl, who then take the opportunity to escape:
    Rose: We should go.
    Pearl: Uh... bye. [they disappear in a flurry of rose petals]
    • It's even funnier that despite all, Rose still shows her manners and gives a quick good-bye handwave.
  • Garnet recalls how Sapphire, stunned by how Ruby changed her future, was "frozen" with indecision... then we see Sapphire being literally frozen to the ground by her ice powers.
  • Garnet's second time alive, getting used to her new body, gives us this wonderful line:
    Garnet: I was back. I was someone and I didn't know who. But, I felt like I was getting the hang of my strange new form... *Beat* and then I fell.
    • Cue Garnet tripping and rolling down a steep hill.
  • Garnet referring to Pearl as a "terrifying renegade". It made sense in context, but it's still Pearl.
  • A meta (and possibly unintentional) example, but when the fans learned that the three Rubies were going to fuse, they were stoked to see what a Fusion of multiple Gems of the same type would look like. The end result literally just looks like a giant version of Ruby.

"Steven's Birthday"
  • Peridot's only appearance in this episode has her pointedly not getting involved in the celebrations, especially after Amethyst pops a balloon with a crude Peridot face on it.
  • Steven stretches himself to look older, losing a lot of his baby fat in the progress.
    Amethyst: Steven, your neck.
    Steven: Uh, what's up with it?
    Amethyst: YOU HAVE ONE!
  • Steven throws the top of his present box away...right on Lions nose. And he doesn't even care, he just goes back to sleep.
  • Garnet tries to cheer up Steven with funny faces after he reverts to infancy, but it doesn't work.
    Garnet: My powers mean nothing to an infant...
    • Amethyst tries to hand baby Steven to Pearl. Pearl's response?
  • Amethyst as baby Steven's car seat.
    Amethyst: Baby Steven needs changin'.
    • It becomes extra surprising if you didn't notice and was more focus on the conversation. It makes you wonder where Amethyst popped up from for a moment.

"It Could've Been Great"
  • Peridot talking to herself, trying to figure out what's so special about "music".
  • In a Freeze-Frame Bonus, when Peridot is flinching after Garnet touches her back, you can see the former having four pairs of flailing arms!
  • The thing that gets Lion going is not the threat of the Earth's destruction or no Lion Lickers, it's that Lion will get no more naps.
  • The group riding on Lion's back to the moon is quite amusing thanks to a certain someone:
    Steven: Pretty cool, right?
  • In reaction to Peridot's character development, Steven says "It seems like only yesterday she was trying to kill us." to which Pearl replies that it was several weeks.
    • It could also be a dig at the show's Schedule Slip, what with the several months' wait between episodes.
  • When they get to the moon base, Amethyst walks up to a big door and opens it. It opens onto a lunar landscape with a spectacular view of the Earth... and the air starts venting out. She closes the door and tells the others "Yep, we on the moon!"
    • In response Pearl let's out an exasperated "Amethyst, don't blast us out into space!"
  • Amethyst is disappointed that she doesn't get to jump around in micro-gravity like Steven can.
  • Steven, once again, making another giant leap only to Face Plant to the ground.
  • A retroactive one: The fact that RONALDO of all people correctly named the Diamond Authority and guessed their plans for earth.
  • Also, the subtle environmental message of the episode. Repeat: This is a kid's show. And it has an environmental message that's subtle!

"Message Received"
  • "Save your strength! You're up against one of the Earth's greatest trapping technologies... THE CHILD SAFETY LOCK!"
    Peridot: (Gasps) NO!! No! How could you do this to me, the great and lovable Peridot? I thought we were finally friends like you wanteeeed!!
    • While locked in the truck and Steven having shut the barn door behind him, Peridot repeatedly honks the horn. Steven gives an annoyed look, pulls up his jacket hood, and mutters "I see she knows what a horn is now." He then pulls the drawstrings on it, closing the opening and causing his hair to resemble a fur lining.
    • Even better is how Peridot bests said elite trapping technology.
      Peridot: Your invisible rotary shield was no match for me once I applied logic!
      (Translation: She rolled down the window.)
      • Which is hilarious anyway, because the window was already partially open when Steven "trapped" her. She thought she was locked in an airtight cage, just like with the bathroom.
  • Amethyst had some ideas for cool nicknames for Peridot, but after learning of her betrayal she's too angry to think of insulting nicknames. When chasing Peridot, she came up with "Perisnot", which Steven compliments her for that. After Peridot calls Yellow Diamond a "clod", Amethyst calls her "Peridactyl".
  • Amethyst shape shifting into a HELICOPTER to pursue the escaping Giant Robot-riding Peridot
    Amethyst: Get in.
  • Pearl tries to comfort Steven by telling him he can feel horrible all he wants back at the temple. Steven's reaction just sells it.
  • Yellow Diamond essentially bitching Peridot out over an interplanetary Skype call, and vice versa.
    • After Yellow Diamond refers to Peridot's "incompetence", her Pearl slides into view with a hilariously smug smile on her face.
  • Peridot finally snaps and calls Yellow Diamond a clod. And the reactions. Given the looks on everyone's faces, it's evident that on Homeworld "clod" is something seriously offensive. Yellow Diamond's is especially cartoonish and unexpected out of a character that received so much hype for an awesome villain.
    • Clod has a double meaning: it means a foolish person but it also means a clump of dirt or clay, so it also implies that the person being offended is a poorly made gem.
    • Another thing that deflates Yellow Diamond's air of villainy is that the background for her control room is reminiscent of the background from Space Ghost Coast to Coast.
  • After insulting one of the most powerful people in the universe to her face, Peridot hurriedly gives what's presumably the entirely normal sign-off of "Peridot, out."
  • After telling off Yellow Diamond, Peridot hands the communication diamond over to Pearl, then flatly explains that it's probably about to explode, causing a hilarious freak out by the Crystal Gems.
    Pearl: Aah! How do we stop it?!
    Garnet: Just get rid of it!
    Pearl: Eh, here, Amethyst! (Tosses the communicator to her.)
    Amethyst: What am I supposed to do with it?! (Tosses it to Steven, who places it in a bubble, in which Garnet then punches into the sky, where it makes a huge explosion.)
  • Yellow Diamond's Pearl being so smug and stuck-up that she makes regular Pearl look as calm and laid back as Greg.
    • Pearl having to tell Steven that not all Pearls know each other.
    • Just the fact that this particular Pearl seems to be acting like she's Yellow Diamond's secretary/receptionist, which she is- or even one of those telephone switchboard peoples they used to have before it became automated (and cell phones forced landlines into a headlock).
  • Peridot's stressed moaning (as Steven hugs her tightly) can be heard all the way into space!
    • The sound of said stressed moaning is also hilarious in and of itself, especially as it gets increasingly higher pitched with each iteration.

"Log Date 7-15-2"
  • Peridot's gone CRAY-Z!
    Steven: Are you gonna be ok?
    Peridot (Recording): I'm a traitorous clod!... traitorous clod!...
    Peridot: (Grinning from ear to ear) No!
    • This moment:
    Peridot: I'm a traitor! A rebel! (eyes turn into stars) A Crystal Gemmmmmmmmmmm!
    (Still with star eyes and a deranged Cat Smile, Peridot giggles and rapid-fires the recording.)
    Peridot (Recording): Clod! Clod! Clod!
    • Peridot tries to throw her tape recorder away after she declares it a "chronicle of her descent into madness." Garnet comes it at that exact moment and catches it after it bounces of her face (Garnet doesn't even flinch, of course). It all happens in a humorously rapid fashion.
    Garnet: You dropped this.
    • Once Peridot calms down, she worriedly asks if she'll have to put a star on her outfit now that she's one of the Crystal Gems
    Peridot: Am I gonna have to wear a star? Where am I gonna put the star?!
  • We finally learn in this episode how Steven convinced Peridot to call him by his name instead of The Steven. It's not nearly as heartwarming as you might think.
    Peridot (recording): He also said he wanted me to stop calling him The Steven.
    Steven: It's just Steven.
    Peridot (Recording): I said I'd call him whatever I want!
    Peridot: (Hisses at Steven)
    Peridot (Recording): He told me that was rude.
    Steven: (Holds finger to Peridot's lips in a shush gesture) Rude.
    Peridot (Recording): (Begrudgingly) I guess I'll call him...Steven.
  • Garnet scolds Peridot for shoving Greg off the barn just to see if humans can fly.
    Garnet: You can't just shove someone off a roof!
    Peridot: Why not?
    Garnet: This is a human! He isn't like us! He's fragile and soft!
    Greg: (Defensive) Hey, it's not like a six-pack can save you from that height.
    Garnet: You could've seriously hurt him!
    Peridot: Well, how was I supposed to know that!?
    • There's also something pretty hilarious about Peridot walking up to Greg as he's working on the barn roof, sitting down and staring at him silently for eight full seconds, before abruptly shoving him off the roof. It's like a cat pushing something off of the couch.
  • While on chore duty, Peridot tries to mop the floor of the barn with the wrong end of the mop. Then she finds a trunk of clothes, among which is a pair of boxer shorts with aliens on them she misidentifies as a shirt. She slips them on, even admiring herself momentarily... Before realizing that Garnet has caught her. Garnet merely gives a supportive thumbs up and comments "Nice shorts", resulting in Peridot ripping them off while yelling "How did those get there?"
  • Steven celebrates Peridot's first month stuck on Earth with a "can-iversary" gift: a pair of paint-can stilts with flames painted on them.
    Steven: I dunno what it is about flames, but they just make everything cooler!
    • Peridot's response to his "can-iversary" gift?
      Peridot: Heh heh, as if I'd stoop so low as to tie your Earth trash to my body. Leave me! Go go go go! Go! AND WOW, THANKS!
    • And later that evening, she puts them on her feet and starts pretending she's being admired by the other Gems.
      Peridot: Why yes, Pearl, I did get taller. How correct of you to notice. Of course Amethyst, I will acquire you those Cheesy Chaaps for you off of that very high shelf.
    • She proceeds to do a hop, and stumbles backward, admiring how they even work in reverse... Until she trips over a rock.
    • While Peridot attempts to Fusion dance with Garnet, she wears the paint-can stilts.
  • Peridot practicing humor. After clumsily telling the Chicken Joke, she awkwardly laughs at her own joke, then wonders "What's a chicken?"
    • Amethyst later demonstrates while yelling "I'm a chicken!". Funnily enough, this takes place after she's shapeshifted into Lion to surprise Peridot, then Peridot herself. Amethyst then refers to it as "Peri-phrasing."
  • Amethyst shapeshifts into Lion for the sake of a pun.
    Amethyst: "Ah, come on, P, I'm just trying to Lion the mood." (Beat, then in exactly the same tone) "Lion the mood."
    • When Amethyst asks Peridot, if she has any request for what she should turn into, Peridot looks awkward to the side, but then...
    Amethyst: Bok, bok! I'm a CHICKEN, AHAHAHAHA!
  • Pearl's joke. It's probably better than Amethyst or Peridot's attempts, but Peridot's reaction is priceless.
    Pearl: Hah, yes, well, at least she isn't Lion around anymore.
    Peridot: (Awkward laugh) Ahahahahaha.
    Peridot (Recording): Pearl really tries for some reason and I can appreciate that.
  • Peridot spends three days watching a single episode of a camp-themed romance drama Steven recorded, makes a chart detailing the various characters' compatibility with each other, and then goes on a rant about which pairing is objectively the best (through which Steven fast-forwards). In other words, Peridot of all Gems became a shipper.
    • And when Peridot asks if there's more than one episode, Steven convinces her otherwise.
    • When Steven asks how she got so much out of one episode, Peridot's answer is basically every shipper's answer, ever:
    It's called 'subtext', Steven.
    • Steven's expressions during Peridot's rant are especially hilarious as, at first, he is happy that she's found something new to like, then he gets more and more exasperated the longer she continues to talk about the show before finally falling asleep. Bonus points for Steven being upside down by that point and sliding down off the couch when Peridot's done ranting.
    • Peridot's made multiple charts, and rips up one of the drafts when Garnet enters the picture. The one she shows Steven is noticeably higher-quality, and yet she spells "analysis" as "analasys". Granted, that chart had probably been made at least 70 hours into her rewatches.
    • The fast-forwarding shows about fifty different poses of Peridot's, including jumping over the television with a stack of paper and throwing it into the air, her sliding off the couch arm and in the space in between the couch and the wall, and her sliding behind the TV on her back in excitement.
    • Youtubers have managed to slow down the video and figure out what she is saying. It's actually quite hilarious why she believes that Pierre and Percy are the best couple.
    • The best part is that, because there were multiple things which related the campers to the Gems, the Steven Universe fandom immediately began trying to figure out what the shipping chart might mean, resulting in quite an ironic spin on things.
    • The other best part is that the show was apparently written by Mabel Pines. Take a look.
    • Peridot immediately tearing her pairing chart apart after she noticed Garnet on the couch in the midst of her ranting
  • Garnet leaving a message on Peridot's tape recorder telling Steven that she knew he'd listen to it and that Peridot will want it back even if she doesn't think so at first.
  • Garnet giving Peridot an explanation for Permafusion that she immediately gets: Garnet is like Peridot's soap opera OTP.
  • Garnet's incredibly blunt offer to Fuse with Peridot. Doubly funny when you consider the many sensual/sexual undertones of Fusion between Gems. Garnet basically said "Let's bang."
    Garnet: If you really want to understand Fusion, I can help you.
    Peridot: What do you mean?
    Garnet: Let's Fuse.
    Peridot: Oh My Stars! (Falls off her seat)
    • When Peridot agrees, Garnet puts on a record. In context, it's music to dance to. With the Fusion-as-sex-context, it looks like she's putting on mood music. It's very sudden and bust-a-gut hilarious.
    • Speaking of fusion, when two characters from the camp drama start kissing Peridot asks if they are trying to fuse.
  • A Running Gag in this episode is Peridot's complete misunderstanding of the meaning of a thumbs-up. Garnet repeatedly gives them to her to show approval of various behaviors, keeping a straight face all the while. Peridot, not understanding the Earth gesture, tells her recorder just how awful Garnet is. When Garnet tells Peridot that she's proud of her, something that had been obvious to the viewers, Peridot is shocked. At the end of the episode, both Steven and Garnet do a thumbs-up, which Peridot awkwardly copies during the Iris Out while blushing furiously. It's left unclear whether she gets the meaning yet.

    Season 3 

"Super Watermelon Island"
  • The Watermelon Stevens determine who to sacrifice to Malachite with a game of Nose Goes.
  • Steven wakes up to an earthquake, and Peridot immediately goes into freak-out mode about it possibly being the Cluster. Only for Steven to interrupt her mid-mobilization to explain that he saw Malachite with the Watermelon Stevens, at which point he and the Gems go into a tense conversation about it while Peridot deflates in the background, annoyed that she has no idea what the heck they're talking about. It's even funnier given that it turns out she was right in the first place.
    Peridot: "What."
    • That scene in general is full of hilarity. The Gems are especially hammy and gung-ho when the take off to fight Jasper, particularly Garnet who points dramatically into the horizon and leads a battle cry of "TO THE NEAREST WARP PAD!" as they run into the distance.
      • And the nearest warp pad is, like, ten feet away.
    • Later, when Steven finally explains it to her she responds to Steven's worry with the total sarcastic boredom of someone who's been in way too many crazy situations lately.
      Steven: "Lapis must be getting tired from fighting Jasper for so long!"
    • Steven wanting to help the Crystal Gems but was told to back because it's dangerous:
      Peridot: Why don't you just disobey them? Rebel. Isn't that, like, your guys' thing?
      Steven: You're right. Oh, I know! I'll fall asleep and go into a Watermelon Steven again. This way, I can help them and be safe at the same time. Eheheheheh. (lies down)
      Peridot: Wow. You're a real anarchist.
      Steven: No one can tell me what to do.
  • Steven's Rousing Speech is both this and a CMOA, especially since we can't understand any of it.
  • When Alexandrite manages to break free from Malachite's ice, she turns Malachite's attention from the Watermelon Stevens back to her by hurling Sugilite's flail at her. It wraps around her before whamming her in the face. The animation is so fast and fluid, typical for slapstick in this show.
    • Malachite's many 90's cartoonish expressions during said fight. Especially when Alexandrite punches her in the stomach.
  • The Watermelon Stevens going absolutely Ewok on Malachite, completely with arrows, catapults, and gliders.
    • Before that, as they mobilize into The War Sequence, a small family of Watermelons is bidding good bye to a parent... Turns out the parent going away is actually the mother, not the father.
  • Amethyst's first words after they separate from Alexandrite.
    Amethyst: (Laying face down on the ground giving a thumbs up) I'm alive...
  • Since the first few scenes and the premise were leaked, quite a few fans were postulating how the Watermelon Stevens have been reproducing to form a stable population size, with a few Squick-y explanations posited. Fast forward to the episode and it turns out... they just grow more of themselves. The reveal of such a simple answer after such wild theorizing is absolutely hilarious.

"Gem Drill"
  • Peridot yelling "Liar" when Steven parrots the reassuring phrase she told him to say.
    Peridot: Okay, Steven. Are you ready to drill down into the planet, to depth never before reached by your species, to stop the Cluster from forming and save the world?
    Steven: I don't know!
    Peridot: Don't say that! Say "we're gonna do this together and it's gonna be great!"
    Steven: (More confidently) We're gonna do this together and it's gonna be great!
    Peridot: LIAR!
  • Steven informs Peridot that the other Gems won't get here in time and that they will have to proceed with stopping the Cluster on their own:
  • When Steven finds out it'll take them about two hours to reach the Cluster, he wishes he'd brought some music. Peridot then pushes a button, and elevator music starts playing.
  • Steven wondering how Peridot expected all the Gems to fit in the drill.
  • Steven holds off Gem mutants with a blast cannon turret controlled by what appears to be a Nintendo 64 controller.
    Steven: Something doesn't feel right about this.
    Peridot: Then use the D-pad.
  • It doubles as a Tearjerker and Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, but Peridot freaking out as the Cluster tries to form is pretty funny.
    Peridot: Steven! I'm sorry I couldn't save you, or the billions of other lifeforms who matter far, far less to me!
  • Peridot wondering if the drill's vibrations are damaging Steven's "head holes".

"Same Old World"
  • Peridot giving her reasons for not coming back to the Temple. 1, she doesn't want to be bunking in the bathroom again, and 2, she wants to repair the hole in the barn her robot made.
    Peridot: I've seen what goes on in that bathroom.
    Steven: *mortified blush*
  • Steven stays behind and says he'll catch up with them on Lion...but then realizes he doesn't know where Lion is. His attempts to get him to appear are hilarious.
    Steven: Lion! Hey Lion! (deep breath) LEEEEEON! I have a big steak right here in my hand for you! Whoops, I dropped it and it fell out of existence! You can't hide from me for too long because you love me SOOOOO MUCH!
  • Steven and Lapis making fart noises. Again.
  • Steven's scenario of Lapis living in Empire City, Trying to make it as a single Gem in the city, hanging out at a coffee shop and having a wacky roommate, clearly having learned everything about city life from sitcoms. Bonus points for Lapis actually ending up with a wacky roommate at the end of the episode.
  • When they get to Jersey, a guy tries to throw his shoe at them. They easily dodge it.
    • The fact that the shoe got up that high in the first place.
  • Steven says Lapis would like Jersey, because "The people here seem to hate the Earth, too."
    • Especially funny since the writer of this whole bit is actually from New Jersey.
    • The fact that after avoiding naming any real-world places (Empire City is blatantly New York), the show kept Jersey's name, complete with the Jersey Turnpike!
  • Steven and Lapis have a touching conversation about the ever-changing nature of Earth, resulting in Lapis' decision to stay at the barn... whereupon Peridot wanders along to investigate, butts in to their conversation, and greets Lapis in a cheery, pleasant manner.
    Steven: You're staying here?! Like, here here?
    Lapis: (happily) Yeah! Here here.
    Peridot: Yes! Here, here, everybody! ... What are we talking about?
  • Lapis, of course, has not been around for Peridot's Heel–Face Turn, and flips out at her former captor happily pottering around the barn...but Peridot remains sanguine (and oblivious) as Lapis demands reassurance from Steven. Poor Steven has a This Is Gonna Suck moment and even does a facepalm as he realizes his UN-worthy peacekeeping skills are going to be called on again.
  • Steven lampshading the pattern of Lapis' previous appearances near the beginning of the episode.
    Steven: I feel like I only get to see you when something horrible's going on.

"Barn Mates"
  • Steven's suggestion in "Same Old World", straight from a sitcom, about Lapis moving to the big city and getting a wacky roommate comes back here, especially with this image.
  • Peridot talking about how to make up with Lapis... while Lapis was in front of her.
  • In general, Peridot's lines in this episode were hilarious:
    "I like the cut of your gem, Steven Quartz!"
    "... Show her my sweet?"
    "H2-Oh my gosh!"
    "I got yo number."
  • On Steven's advice, Peridot makes an apology card for Lapis. This being Peridot, the "apology from the heart" doesn't exactly make Lapis feel better.
    Lapis: (reading aloud) Sorry I interrogated you. You were just full of such useful information. That's a sincere compliment. Peridot. (gives a smiling Steven and a grinning Peridot a flat look)
    • It took Peridot an hour to write that.
  • The return of Camp Pining Hearts is both adorable and hilarious.
    Peridot: How about my "Camp Pining" DVD?
    Steven: Which season?
    Peridot: Five.
    Steven: Trash.
    Peridot: I know!
    • Even better, this implies that Peridot eventually figured out that the show has more than one episode.
  • Some black comedy. Peridot follows the logic that Lapis Lazulis love the water, so she tries to gift Lapis a pool. Lapis' response is to explain her water-induced trauma complete with Creepy Monotone and Death Glare, all to the increasing discomfort of Peridot and Steven.
  • Peridot leaves because Lapis doesn't want her at the barn... then promptly comes running back in a panic because of the Roaming Eye.
    Steven (Just finished calling out Lapis for being mean to Peridot): Now it's too late, and she's never coming back again.
    (Peridot comes back screaming)
    Steven: Oh, look. She's coming back again.
  • Lapis' "are-you-shittin'-me" face, which she wears for most of the episode.
    • Steven and Peridot's grins while she's looking at them while trying to give Lapis her tape recorder as a gift. Even better with Peridot slowly inching towards Lapis.

"Hit the Diamond"
  • The Homeworld Rubies all have wildly different, humorous personalities: a tough and grim one who reminds you of a one-eyed pirate, a dramatic one who makes karate poses and drop-kicks a flower, a cheerful Cloudcuckoolander who remarks on how beautiful Earth is, a cowardly one who hesitates leaving their craft and doesn't appear to be too bright, and the Comically Serious leader.
  • The plot of the entire episode is predicated by the fact that the Homeworld Rubies saw Peridot, Steven and Lapis, and got their Roving Eye swatted out of the sky in the last episode, and then immediately forgot about it.
  • Ruby is possibly the worst infiltrator known to man. Thankfully, she's a mole for the dumbest army of Rubies known to Gems. When she infiltrates the Homeworld Ruby squad, she's nearly caught out when they remember there are supposed to be five of them... until the sergeant Ruby forgets to count herself.
  • The leader not noticing the barn until Ruby (ours) mentions it. While it was directly in her line of sight.
  • While she gets into it eventually, Lapis's completely bare-minimum effort at the start of the baseball game is gold. It's made even better by her deadpan facial expressions and stiff body language à la Daria.
    • The other "home team" gems (sans Steven, who uses his real name) come up with Sue Donym names for their human disguises. Lapis... picks "Bob."
  • Steven challenges the Ruby squad to baseball for whether or not they're allowed into the barn. It works.
    Lapis: (who is leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, chuckles) This plan sucks.
  • Sapphire saw the possibility of a baseball game, but didn't expect things to go that way.
  • The two teams get dramatic intro sequences, with the Crystal Gems identifying themselves as Earl (Pearl), Amy (Amethyst), Sophie (Sapphire) and Bob (Lapis). The Ruby team gets a sequence of... Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby, Ruby and Ruby.
    • A bit of meta humor considering the show's anime influences: "Amy" and "Sophie" sound like anglicized dub names.
    • Also the part that everyone introduces themselves in a very dynamic way and then there's... Lapis with the most bored expression of this universe.
  • The fact that our heroes' biggest problem playing the game is that Ruby and Sapphire can't stop flirting with each other.
    • We get a scene where they are flirting and one of the other Rubys looks directly to the camera with an exasperated expression.
    • As Sapphire sniffs a flower Ruby gave her, a baseball bonks the former on the head, to no effect.
    • And when Sapphire strikes out due to being too busy flirting with Ruby, Lapis just gives them a sarcastic thumbs-up.
  • Steven tries to calm Peridot:
    Steven: Well, heh, we're doing just fine! Everything's gonna be a-okay!
    Peridot: YOU'RE LYING TO ME!
    Peridot: THANK YOU!
  • Steven finally steps in to keep Ruby and Sapphire from flirting, which is just as hilarious.
    Steven: Ruby, stop being cute. And Sapphire, keep your eye on the ball.
    Ruby: Pun intended?
    Steven: What did I just say?
    • The fact that for once, Steven has to be the mature, goal-oriented adult to what is essentially Garnet.
  • Just when the gang is about to get away with it all, their subterfuge is ruined at the last minute because Ruby and Sapphire forgot to stay away from each other for just one more minute.
    • When Ruby and Sapphire re-fuse, Garnet tumbles out with a stupid laugh before going "Whoops."
  • The Rubies priceless reactions when they realize they were tricked.
    Ruby (Chest): THEY'RE GEMS!
    Ruby (Left Shoulder): We're been tricked!
    Ruby (Stomach): ... What a turn of events!
    Ruby (Left Eye): Grrr!
    Ruby (Left Knee): (She's not even facing the right direction) Huh? W-What?
  • When the fused Rubies try to attack the Gems, Peridot runs out of the barn to stop them... and falls on her face. She quickly tries to stand up, and again falls on her face. She just gives up and runs on all fours.
    • When Peridot finds out that the Ruby squad was only looking for her to find information on the whereabouts of Jasper, she becomes highly indignant, arguing that they SHOULD be looking for her because she betrayed the mission, called Yellow Diamond a clod, and is the new leader of the Crystal Gems.
    Pearl: What?
    • Peridot spends the whole episode thinking she pissed off Homeworld so bad that they sent a death squad after her. The truth is arguably worse: Homeworld decided that even if she was a traitor, they didn't care.
  • When it turns out the Homeworld Rubies were actually looking for Jasper, Steven tells them that she's on the planet Neptune as a last ditch effort. It works.
    Amethyst: Man, Rubies are dumb.
    • Even better is what the Ruby Fusion says after Steven lays the most obvious lie of the show thus far on them;
    Ruby Fusion: ... (cheerfully) Well, why didn't you say so?
  • The fact that the Gems, who are each of them far older than Steven, all rely on Steven, who is a child, to improvise for them every single time they need to tell a lie to the Ruby Squad.
  • Ruby and Sapphire's flirting throughout this episode skirts the line between "Awww, that's adorable!" and "Ugh, GET A ROOM YOU TWO!" For example:
    Ruby: Just look at the ball.
    Sapphire: I 'm trying, but all I want to do is look at is you!
  • As the Ruby Squad leaves, Left Eye Ruby stays glaring at Steven for a few seconds... before quietly and intensely saying thank you and going.
  • The credits list the five Homeworld Rubies with various silly nicknames: "Leggy", "Navy", "Army", "Eyeball", and "Doc".

"Steven Floats"
  • Steven's reaction to the rotting cake, which Amethyst apparently was still going to eat.
    Steven: That was a CAKE?!?
    • Later in the episode, when she's looking for him outside and trying to get him to come home, she calls out that he missed out on it.
  • Sadie's nonchalant reaction to Steven saying he was off saving the world.
  • Amethyst's reaction to seeing Steven floating far overhead.
    Amethyst: Oh, there's Steven. Just flying around.
    [She walks toward the house and pauses in the doorway]
    Amethyst: Wait, can Steven fly? [beat] Yeah, I think I remember that. [goes inside]
    [A pause. Then the sound of footsteps running back out]
    Amethyst: No no, I'm thinking of Lapis!
  • Steven realizes that he has to make his message short and quick so Amethyst can hear it during her short jump. The result?
    Steven: I could really use your assistance dealing with the sudden appeareance oaaaw rats!
    (Amethyst jumps again)
    Steven: Of a power which was previously unbenknownst to me which I can't control... um...
    (Amethyst jumps again)
    Amethyst: Dude, summarize.
    Steven: Go get Garnet!
  • Pearl freaking out and promising to catch Steven while he's still floating down gently a mile in the air.
    Amethyst: I think it'll be a while...
  • Steven's too high up for the Gems to talk to, so Garnet tries to think of a solution for about ten seconds or so. Cue her suddenly leaping off-screen, the sound of glass breaking, and a car alarm going off.
    Garnet: I found a phone.
    Amethyst: Whose is it?
    Garnet: That's not important.
    [Steven's caller ID says "Kofi"]
  • All of the Gems keeping Steven company through the night, including:
    • The Gems tossing Steven some snacks, with Amethyst beaning a seagull with a bag of chips.
    • Garnet jumping up to take turns for a checker game.
  • At one point, the Gems try to help Steven fall faster by weighing him down with various heavy objects, including a boat.
    • A little bit later, Steven drops the boat. It lands off-screen with a sound that suggests it's probably not going to be seaworthy again.
    • Before trying to weigh him down, Pearl states that Steven must be tired, since he's been up all night.
  • Steven's melodramatic fantasy about missing his chance at getting the first doughnut of the day. It ends with the townspeople feeding his doughnut to a dog, then him dying, his bones falling to Earth, and Sadie picking up his skull to reenact the "Alas, poor Yorick" speech from Hamlet.
  • Steven tries to think of something happy to slow his fall again. He discounts doughnuts because he's missed getting the first doughnut of the day, the beach because he's about to slam into it at terminal velocity, and Rose because "those feelings are complicated!". With the last one, he even lifts up the panel showing her while he falls.
  • Garnet states that her Future Vision tells her that Steven will, by that point in time, have learned that his floating is controlled by his emotions, and that he'll land softly and safely behind them, ready to give them all a big hug. He drops out of the sky like a log.
    Garnet: ...Close enough.
  • While it's also kinda sad, there is just something funny about Pearl dryly mentioning "I would have liked a hug..." when Steven runs off.
  • Steven being so happy to get a donut that he slams into the Big Donut's ceiling, to which Sadie visibly cringes.
    Steven: Oh, bother...
  • While Steven is still falling, we hear a snippet of conversation the Gems are having to try and get him down.
    Amethyst: But if he did have a jetpack, he could just put it on upside-down!

"Drop Beat Dad"
  • Steven gushing about roadies.
  • "Eighty percent of Germans make their living DJ-ing!"
  • Steven having to shield his eyes from the glare off Marty's outfit and sleazy smile.
  • Marty is unimpressed by Sour Cream's warehouse venue.
    Marty: What is this, a concert for ants?
    Steven: We could invite some ants...
    Sour Cream: Aunts, uncles, music is for everybody!
  • Marty using the phrase "Real Talk" five times in the span of a minute.
    • Shortly thereafter, he pulls out his phone and says "Marty here, talk to me" as if he's answering it. The scene cuts back to Steven and Sour Cream, but you can just hear him saying "Yeah, I know I called you."
  • Marty's astonishment at Steven lugging a case of equipment that takes two full-grown men to lift.
    "Geez! What does Greg feed that kid?!"
  • Steven's attempt at doing a "mike check". "This mike looks great!" Later, when Marty gets on stage, he realizes Steven never even turned it on.
  • Nobody likes Guacola, the dreadful guacamole-flavored soda Marty is trying to sell... except for, oddly enough (or not), Onion.
  • Sour Cream is so angry at Marty for using his show as an excuse to shill Guacola, he slips into the same gibberish Yellowtail speaks in.
    • When he realizes he did that, he blushes a little. It's as hilarious as it is adorable.

"Mr. Greg"
  • Pearl is rather nonplussed when she finally hears the song that won Rose over. It doesn't help that it's been turned into a burger jingle. But she has to admit through gritted teeth that Rose would have found it hilarious.
  • The way Pearl's name comes up in lights over her when Steven says "And let's bring Pearl."
  • Greg and Pearl's reactions to Steven abruptly suggesting Pearl should come along on the trip.
  • While being carried by the hotel staff, Pearl is as stiff as a log.
    • When they go into the elevator, she actually hits her head with the top of the door.
  • The running gag throughout the episode of people overreacting to the absurd tips the Universes give out.
  • Before starting the "Mr. Greg" song, Greg hands his new business card over to the hotel clerk. It reads "Mr. Greg: Bazzzillionaire."
    • "And if I break a table, it ain't no-Whoa!" (Greg slides off table, which he is currently dancing on)
      • Pearl bringing said number to a grinding halt by refusing to dance with Greg; as she leaves in a funk one of the singing bellhops shouts "Boo! You ruined the song!"
  • Despite having the money to buy the finest steak and brie, Greg and Steven still eat pizza and Chinese take-out for dinner.
  • As Steven pushes Pearl and Greg to deal with their issues in the emotional climax of the episode, the hotel's piano player abruptly shifts from the sad, atmospheric background music into upbeat circus music, and Steven has to pay him to stop and let him take over the piano himself.
  • The bill Greg racks up in the end is amazingly long.
  • Apparently nothing during the musical numbers were free actions; The Universes' clothes were actually tailored and everyone singing was being paid to do so.

"Too Short to Ride"

"The New Lars"
  • Steven denies that he's staring at Lars and Sadie... while his eyes are bulging out of their sockets.
  • Lars apparently sleeps in the nude.
    • Steven's reaction to said nudeness deserves mention.
  • Lars' parents try to talk to Lars about his grades. Of course, Steven has never been to school...
    Steven!Lars: Fffffffbdf. That doesn't spell anything!
  • Steven's attempt at acting as if he's Lars. "Attempt" being the key word here.
    Steven!Lars: I'm Lars! I'm Lars!
  • Lars' reaction to waking up in Steven's house and finding out what happened.
  • Everybody likes Steven!Lars much better than the original. Except Onion, who is seriously unnerved.
  • Jenny taking a simple sentence from Steven!Lars as a compliment. Apparently the bar is set very low.
    Steven!Lars: I don't think you stink...
    Jenny: *happily surprised* Lars! What a nice thing to say!
  • The fact that almost no one finds the idea Steven possessed Lars strange.
  • Buck's reactions to Steven!Lars are delightful.
    Buck: [On encountering Steven!Lars the first time] Buck is pleased.
    Buck: [On seeing Steven!Lars attacking Steven in an attempt to switch back] Buck is no longer pleased.
  • Steven!Lars is excited to watch a movie with Sadie... until he remembers her taste in movies.
    Steven!Lars: The Organ Pickler, Part Seven?!
    Sadie: I keep telling you, that's the best one!
    Steven!Lars: Um, how about this one? Fangs Of Love!
    Sadie: I think I'd rather have my organs pickled.
    • Then after the movie...
    Sadie: I tried to warn you! (turns to Steven!Lars, who's bawling his eyes out.)
    Steven!Lars: They just wanted to be together!
  • Lars' parents have apparently been prepared for some time for him to turn to a life of crime.

"Beach City Drift"
  • Greg's old photos of himself and his dream car. They go from him posing with it to embracing it to sharing a Spaghetti Kiss with it — and end with the dealer and a police offer kicking him off the lot. While he's still on his hands and knees, spaghetti strand in his mouth.
  • When Kevin calls Greg "Grandpa", Steven protests that Greg isn't a grandpa, but a "regular Pa".
  • After Kevin leaves without paying:
    Greg: Hey! He forgot to... Eh, what do I care? I'm rich.
  • Greg's reaction to Steven using the word "hate".
    • Steven then uses the word "creep" instead.
  • "I smell what you're steppin' in!" "Ew..."
  • Ronaldo brought a scooter to the car race.
  • Kevin's temper-tantrum when Stevonnie insists on being a good sport after coming in a close second at the drift race.
  • On a meta level, this episode was probably done entirely so that the Crewniverse could spoof Initial D.

"Restaurant Wars"
  • Kofi stands in place behind the door, waiting for Steven to walk in front of his restaurant, before opening it and yelling at Steven.
  • Peedee, ashamed to be wearing a pizza costume, tells Steven not to look at him.
  • Steven laments that Peedee shouldn't blame himself because he was the one who ordered mozzarella sticks in the first place. Peedee bluntly replies that it really is all Steven's fault, then.
  • Fryman making Ronaldo do deliveries. When he complains that he doesn't have a car, Fryman makes him use his wheelie shoes.
  • Kofi offers to sign Steven up for his new VIP customer program... one that involves a massively-long contract and a branding iron.
  • Steven's plan to force a truce by having Ronaldo and Kiki pretend to date is derailed at the last moment when Ronaldo's not-so-imaginary girlfriend shows up.
    • Earlier when they were making plans for Ronaldo and Kiki to pretend to date, Ronaldo mentions his girlfriend, and Jenny responds by whispering, "Where she at, tho?"
    • Said girlfriend is voiced by DeeDee Magno Hall, aka Pearl.
  • Peedee and Jenny's "WHAAAAA?" reactions to Ronaldo actually having a girlfriend.
  • The fact that, for a brief moment, Ronaldo was the only sane man among the kids when they came up with the girlfriend ploy.
  • Ronaldo calling after his now-ex "Ohime-sama", only for his Wheelie Shoes to give out and cause him to eat boardwalk.
  • Kofi and Mr. Fryman's over-the-top reactions to the food at Steven's "restaurant", complete with Steven doing an Animeesque scoff at how they underestimated him.
    • Much like the last episode, this is an obvious reference to cooking animes, complete with insane recipes and Expospeak on how the meal makes the eaters feel.
    • When Kofi and Mr. Fryman are begging Steven to quit his restaurant, Kofi says this:
    Kofi: There's already a line!
    (Cut to Onion standing outside the door)
  • Garnet returns after disappearing for a five episode stretch...and just stands in the background saying and doing absolutely nothing until she claps at the very end.
  • The reactions of other people working on the boardwalk.
  • The overly long gag of Ronaldo moping over the loss of his girlfriend. At the end of the episode, he's the only one who is still unhappy.

"Kiki's Pizza Delivery Service"
  • Apparently Jenny blew out all four tires on the Pizzamobile trying to play Sour Cream's latest mix on the car stereo.
    Steven: Well, his drops are pretty dirty.
  • "Pizza time!" (Cue Gilligan Cut to Steven sacked-out on the couch after stuffing his face with pizza)
  • Steven and Kiki's reactions to realizing the other one wasn't a dream.
  • Steven's various... Cheesy one-liners when fighting off the cheese monsters threatening Kiki in her dreams.
  • Steven falls asleep in the middle of his final talk with Jenny. All she does when noticing is poking him confused with her broom.
  • The End Of Evangelion reference at the end, with giant pizzas replacing the mass production Evas.

"Monster Reunion"
  • After Steven heals M.C. Bear Bear, he runs down the stairs, eager to tell the Gems that his healing powers are back. He then grabs a plate out of Pearl's hands, shouts "Look what I can do!" then throws it on the ground! And then there are Pearl and Amethyst's reactions:
    Amethyst: Alright! It's a Ste-party!
    Pearl: (horrified) What is the meaning of this?!
    • Amethyst then runs off to find other stuff to break.
  • Steven using Puppy-Dog Eyes to get Garnet to allow him to try and un-corrupt Centipeetle. When Pearl asks why they're trying this, Garnet says that she "lost a battle of will".
    • Steven uses the same move again to spare Centipeetle from being poofed. Again, the Gems cannot resist him.
  • When Steven tries to heal Centipeetle's gem again by kissing it, he forgets that her gem is also her eyeball and his kiss stings her eye. Centipeetle gives Steven a Death Glare for that.
  • Steven stating that his plan didn't quite go the way he wanted. With Centipeetle sitting in the background like a confused bird, it's one hell of an understatement.
  • Steven asks Centipeetle to write her name, so she does and holds up the paper with a big smile. He assumes she can't write, and her smile immediately falls.
  • Amethyst turning into a bug monster to join Centipeetle and her crew.
    Pearl: Amethyst, don't make fun!
    Amethyst: I wasn't... (turns back to normal)

"Alone at Sea"
  • Lapis doesn't remember who Greg is, which makes their introduction a bit awkward.
  • Greg and Steven rent Lapis a boat to help her love the water again. This happens.
    Lapis: Steven, I... don't deserve this.
    Steven: Of course you do! We even named her... Li'l Lappy!
    (Cut to the boat's new name, crudely taped over the old one — S.S. Misery, with the top of the sign having fallen over. Greg, giving a thumbs up, notices and hastily tries to fix it. Lapis can't help but chuckle.)
  • Greg and Steven repeatedly cracking bad puns and then going "Ayyy!" at each other.
  • Lapis having no clue what's going on when Greg pours some OJ into champagne glasses.
  • The fact that Lapis and Steven played with the boat's horn for so long, that Steven briefly lost his hearing.
  • Greg hasn't met Lapis since "Ocean Gem," leading to quite a bit of awkwardness when he's reminded.
  • Lapis curb-stomping Jasper: as soon as Steven's in danger, she creates a water fist that goes straight through the boat and sends Jasper flying.
    • Jasper's blasting off agaaaaain!
    • Alternately: WAN PAAAAAWNCH!
    • Also hilarious when you realize that not long before that, Jasper gushed about how she could fly as Malachite. And she did fly again with Lapis' help.

"Greg the Babysitter"
  • Vidalia gets some amusing lines:
    • "Oh, you're too cool for mushed-up carrots?"
    • "So, have you done anything lately? Besides worship everything [Rose Quartz] does?"
    • "If anything bad happens to my kid, you'd better pray your space goddess's magic can bring people back from the dead, because I will destroy you."
  • Even as a baby, Sour Cream is his usual self.
    Greg: So, Sour Cream, you ready to spend the day with your rad Unkie Greg?
    Sour Cream: Meh.
    Greg: You really are Vidalia's son, aren't you?
    • The fact that Baby Sour Cream still has Brian Posehn's deep voice.
    • Even baby Sour Cream's face is hilarious and adorable. The fandom has affectionately dubbed him "Lennybaby" for this reason.
  • Greg's search for a missing Rose and Sour Cream by running through town, looking in a garbage can, and playing an arcade game while calling out for them.
    • Greg eventually finds Rose and Sour Cream, with Rose happily watching Sour Cream climb up a Ferris wheel, which Rose says she let Sour Cream do because he wanted to.
  • Greg's epiphany.
    Greg: Yeah, but I'm not a baby! I don't need someone to feed me or change my clothes! I don't need someone to save me when I climb onto a ferris wheel, and...aww, man...I am a baby.
    Rose: (Motherly tone) Do you wanna get down?
    Greg: Yeeeeah...
  • At the end:
    Steven: What ever happened to Baby Sour Cream?
    Greg: No one knows...
    (Iris Out on Teen Sour Cream in the background)
    Sour Cream: Meh.

"Gem Hunt"
  • Early on, Pearl asks "Who's your favorite Gem?" Later on, she seriously considers the possibility that they're not talking to her because of it, tells them it was just a joke, and begs them to refrain from telling Garnet.
  • After a serious moment in which Steven speculates about the corrupted Gems, he decides to lighten the mood by rolling down a nearby hill. Connie, meanwhile, snowboards down the hill on a sheet of bark.
  • Connie repeats some lines from "Do It For Her/Him" (back in "Sworn to the Sword") to prove that she's ready. Pearl then sings the next line at the top of her lungs.
  • There's something darkly humorous about Connie's brief rant about the prospect of civilization's collapse.
  • Connie making tea from Pine Needles. To avoid getting scurvy.
    Steven: Like a pirate!
  • Pearl very loudly telling them not to make any loud noises when they find the Gem monster.
  • Steven's photo-taking routine.
    Jasper: Hey, Rose. Look what I got.
    Steven: (camera phone clicks)
  • Steven and Connie look fine in their group photo at the end. Pearl, however, has her eyes closed.
  • Pearl's extremely high-pitched shriek of "JASPER!"
  • In a meta sense, the fact that this is the first episode in which Jasper leaves on her own accord. In her first appearance ("Jail Break") Lapis dragged her into the sea in a fusion, in ("Alone at Sea") she was punched into the sky by Lapis, and in the one before that ("Super Watermelon Island") she fell down a chasm while unconscious.

"Crack the Whip"
  • Pearl forgetting Connie had sword practice.
    • Pearl's hilariously disgruntled face when Amethyst ribs her about it.
  • Amethyst shape-shifting her feet into eyes so she can watch Steven and Connie train without having to sit up.
  • "Snack break! Snack break! Snack break! Snack break!"
  • "Hey, Donut Girl! It's me, Donut Boy."
  • Listen very carefully when Amethyst, Steven, and Connie first enter the donut shop: Sadie is humming the Pepe's Burger's jingle.
  • Lion on the ferris wheel.
  • Peedee's utter lack of reaction at Steven, Connie, Amethyst & Lion's antics in front of Beach City Fries, as if to say "Yeah, I stopped being surprised by crap like this long ago."
  • When one of the Gem Beasts from "Gem Hunt" crawls onto the beach and growls at Steven and Connie, Steven awkwardly says "I remember you too, buddy..." while slowly forming a bubble around himself and Connie.
  • Jasper exits by sinking menacingly into the water shortly after giving a We Will Meet Again speech. It's absurd.
    • Stevonnie's reaction to Jasper retreating back into the ocean:
      Stevonnie: Hmm, I guess she lives in the ocean now.

"Steven vs Amethyst"
  • Pearl keeps getting interrupted by Amethyst dropping eggs in the garbage disposal, leading to her just shouting out "JASPER'S BACK, LET'S WORK HARD!"
  • Amethyst making egg salad by dropping eggs in the garbage disposal. She later eats it straight off the disposal and washes it down with a jar of mayo.
  • Pearl's enthusiasm over the Pearl Prize Pouch.
    • The prizes from the Pearl Prize Pouch. First Steven got googly glasses and later we see him with a harlequin hat.
  • They manage to work in, of all things, a coding joke: Pearl unveils Holo-Pearl Version 2.000001 for training. That means she found a day one bug and immediately patched it. One has to suspect coding in the ability to recognize high-fives was in there somewhere.
  • Holo-Pearl: THE SHARPEST WEAPON IS THE MIND! Real-Pearl: Mmh-hmm, mmh-hmm. Steven: Mmh-hmm, mmh-hmm.
  • Steven and Amethyst's fight to see who's "the worst" eventually degenerates into awkward scrapping. Then the two fall over after trying to punch each other and burst out laughing.
  • The whole fight in general, from the Animesque intro - where both characters boast about how badly they're going to lose - to them angrily complimenting each other mid-battle. Half the things they say while fighting are a Crowning Moment of Funny.
    *Steven gives spikes to his bubbles*
    Amethyst: WHA- Is that new?! (angry) Because it's AWESOME!
    Steven: No! That was an accident! Accidents are not awesome!
  • Steven uses his shield to bifurcate a chunk of the ruins before it can crush Amethyst. Amethyst reacts with indignation that he's trying to help her in the middle of a fight.
    Amethyst: Hey! Don't save m-
    (shield changes direction and hits her in the back of the head)
  • "You've ruined the ruins!"

  • As Steven admonishes Lion for chewing on his Thunder Bird shirt, he says that, if the shirt was destroyed, "how else [is he] going to remember the time [he] rode the Thunder Bird in Funland?" As he says this, he places the shirt next to a "Thunder Bird" button and a picture of himself riding the Thunder Bird.
  • Steven describing Bismuth's gemstone as an "innie".
  • Bismuth wanders around Lion's dimension, lost, until Steven leads her out.
    • From Bismuth's perspective, Steven's head keeps popping in and out of random places in the "grass", like a Whack-a-Mole machine.
  • Bismuth emerges from Lion's mane. The Crystal Gems' reactions:
    • Equally as funny is Lion staring at what's coming out of his mane in total shock.
    • And Lion's expressions as Bismuth is climbing out of his mane. It looks vaguely uncomfortable.
  • There's something amusing about the gusto with which Bismuth meets Steven's "new rituals", including badminton (and knocking the birdie into the ground so hard it makes a crater), card games, and eating pizza while watching kung-fu movies.
  • Amethyst wrapping a burrito and a bag of chips inside of an entire pizza, and then attempting to swallow it whole while the gems are watching TV. As this happens, she looks like a fish gasping for air.
  • Steven repeatedly asking if they're at the Forge yet.
  • "You were in my lion, and now you're in my house!"

  • Even though we didn't get to see Lapis and Peridot redecorate the barn, the way everything is arranged leaves plenty to the imagination. Special mention goes to the giant silo filling in the hole in the side of the barn and the truck stuck cab-first through the loft door (that is apparently a makeshift balcony/TV watching area)! Combined with the interior of the barn featuring several aquariums — including a vacuum cleaner — one has to imagine the two spent a night going nuts with their Elemental Powers.
    • There's also the random bike pieces embedded in the ground and a tent flying the green Canadian flag first seen on Camp Pining Hearts next to the barn.
  • Peridot is now wearing her stuffed alien's bowtie. Said stuffed alien has a gaping hole in its throat and is floating in their new aquarium.
  • Lapis and Peridot watching Camp Pining Hearts on the truck bed balcony.
    Percy: But Paulette, I need you!
    Peridot: (annoyed) Oh, get over it, Percy. Go make another friendship bracelet.
    Lapis: Seriously...
  • This exchange when Lapis and Peridot want to show Steven and Amethyst the interior of the redecorated barn:
    Peridot: You should see the inside! Lapis, fly us in!
    Lapis: (cheerfully) No.
  • Lapis describes the Meep Morp (aka art) of the leaf Steven gave her in "Same Old World" as a reminder of the time...Steven gave her a leaf. Her delivery of the line and Steven's reaction to it sells it.
    • In the same scene, Steven asks if a TV with car mirrors playing a clip of Percy saying "I just feel trapped" over and over again in repeat is supposed to represent the thousands of years Lapis was trapped in the mirror. Lapis' response?
    • The fact that Lapis made a Meep Morp based on Camp Pining Hearts at all is silly enough.
    • In the same vein, the scene's general tongue-in-cheek satire of abstract art is something to behold.
    • Peridot turned the broken tape recorder into a Meep Morp called "Wow, Thanks".
      Peridot: (With an enormous grin and in a completely cheerful tone) It has no functional purpose! It just makes me feel bad!
    • Just the words Meep Morp. Just say it out loud, "Meep Morp". Now imagine Lapis saying it. Now imagine Lapis inventing the term.
    • The whole exchange, while also very sweet, is also plain hilarious from Peridot's shouting to Lapis' much more shorter and subdued responses back. Especially when Peridot asks Lapis what season of Camp Pining Hearts she's currently watching before Steven tells her they need to get going.
    • Peridot's last act is to take her bow tie and toss it to Lapis, who just lazily holds up her hand while the bow tie sails over her head, just like when they were playing baseball.
  • Jasper is so ridiculously Badass that when she emerged, she melted all of the rock around her while flexing her biceps.

  • When Jasper notices Peridot and asks what she is doing there. When Peridot says she is a Crystal Gem Jasper's reaction is to remain completely stone-faced and summon her helmet with intent of beating the crap out of her.
  • Peridot yelling out praise of the Earth, then squeaking and hiding behind a rock, hoping that Jasper won't notice her.
  • Peridot trying to use her metal powers throughout most of the episode, only being able to make the injector part wiggle a bit. She finally makes it move when she needs to impale Jasper.
  • Jasper pointedly ignoring Peridot's attempts to show off her metal powers.
  • Amethyst expressing a desire to not do anything for a month after beating Jasper at last... only to return to the Barn to find the Ruby Squad floating in water bubbles.
  • Peridot laughing childishly as Smoky Quartz curb-stomps Jasper and she loses most of her army of corrupted Gems.
  • As Jasper rants about Rose taking Gems' purposes away, she turns to Peridot.
    Jasper: You've stripped her of everything. Her limb enhancers, her status, her dignity!
    Peridot: I still have one of those things.
    • And since she doesn't specify which, it's possible she's referring to how she still has one limb enhancer left.
  • Peridot talks about all the benefits of Earth, such as how she learned to control metal. Cue the metal bar she couldn't move all episode falling of its own accord.
  • As tragic and horrifying as Jasper's corruption is, Peridot's reaction is pretty funny: "Ew, that's disgusting!"
  • Pretty much everything Smoky Quartz says is hilarious, but a special mention must be made of the casual self-congratulation after they've curbstomped Jasper: "Great job, Smoky! — Thank you, thank you, Smoky." Complete with handshake.

"Back to the Moon"
  • Why are the Rubies floating in water bubbles?
    Lapis: They showed up on their little ship acting very angry... so I put them in time out.
  • Pearl's reaction to Steven saying his nicknames for them.
    • The names in itself: Leggy, Army, Navy, Eyeball and... Doc.
  • The entirety of Steven's attempts to find out why the Rubies are here
    • Leggy has entirely forgotten why they're on Earth.
      Steven: That's okay, I used to forget why we went on missions all the time.
      Leggy: I'll just... go over there then. (Awkwardly shuffles out of the way.)
    • Army tries to attack Steven.
      Steven: (cheerfully) Good afternoon!
      Army: (charges) I'll tear you limb from limb!
      Garnet: (picks Army up by her shirt scruff and holds her up) Hey, don't be like that.
      Army: (struggles) Rassa frassin...
      Garnet: Awwww... (shoves Army under her arm) Next!
    • Navy does know, but gets Performance Anxiety and shuffles over to the corner with Leggy.
    • Eyeball is... less than helpful.
      Eyeball: I'm not tellin y'all nothin about nothin. (Closeup on her face) Grrrrr!
  • Amethyst shapeshifting into Jasper... and the Ruby Squad buying it.
    Amethyst-as-Jasper:: YUP! That's me! Always huge, never small! All the... all the time since I was made! (Grins)
    • Once again, the Ruby Squad had Amethyst in their sights, and then somehow Failed a Spot Check when she transformed.
  • Amethyst-as-Jasper passing off her coloration as a tan. Eyeball looks suspicious for a moment, and then...
    Eyeball: Stupid Earth sun! (Kicks a small clump of dirt.) I hate this planet!
    Amethyst-as-Jasper: Curse this planet! (Does same.)
    Ruby squad: (Eagerly join in, either stomping or kicking the ground and throwing sod in the air. Cut to the Crystal Gems all wearing priceless expressions, with the exception of Pearl, who's facepalming.)
    • She turned purple because of the ultraviolet rays.
  • Amethyst asks if Peridot and Lapis want to be prisoners and they politely say no. The Rubies see nothing wrong with this picture.
    • As Amethyst asks this, Peridot can be seen grabbing Lapis's arm protectively while glaring at Amethyst. Lapis doesn't look bothered in the slightest.
  • The Rubies' ship follows TARDIS logic.
  • The Crystal Gems pretending to be Jasper's "prisoners". In particular, Pearl goes straight into Large Ham mode.
    Pearl: OF ALL THE INDIGNITIES! Do what you wish to us, but I'll NEVER talk!
    Amethyst-as-Jasper: Pft, I wish.
    Offscreen Ruby: Ha, because she talks too much!
  • Amethyst as "Jasper" offers to let Doc sit in her lap. Eyeball sees this, and sheds a Single Tear of jealousy.
  • A subtle one, but when it looks like the Homeworld Rubies have been fooled, Pearl cheers Amethyst for pulling it off by telling her "I told you you could!", despite earlier saying "There's no way this is gonna work!"
  • Sardonyx's expression as she hits the Ruby fusion with her hammer, knocking them out of the Moon Base.

  • Steven complaining about how he has no bars even when he's right next to a satellite, and says that he's gonna change his phone plan when he gets back to Earth.
  • In a freeze-frame moment, you can see that each of the other four rubies have their own comical facial expressions. Doc in particular looks like as if she's been through this before.
  • Eyeball not believing any of Steven's claims that he used to be Rose.
  • Steven brings up a pic of Rose Quartz on his phone and holds it up for comparison, even making an expression similar to Rose. A shojou-esque background of rose petals even appears, complete with Bishie Sparkle. Eyeball still isn't convinced.
  • Hurtling through an asteroid field, Steven and Eyeball freak out at an incoming large one - only for it to turn around and reveal itself to be doughnut-shaped as they harmlessly pass right through.
    Steven: Oh? Oh.
    • After Eyeball takes a rock to the gem which cracks it, Steven's freaking out in worry about her while she tries to shrug it off. Eyeball's form then destabilizes before she can finish her sentence - as she turns into an even smaller self with all of her limbs coiled in, looking like a floating cube person with an afro. It's enough to cause her to briefly flip out and lose form altogether for a second.
    • Steven asks Eyeball "What's wrong?" in response to her doubling over in pain and her body flickering. Eyeball just shoots him a flat glare as she shows him the very obvious answer.
  • Eyeball's final decision to attack Steven soon devolves into the two of them running in circles around the walls of the bubble.
    Eyeball: I'm gonna take your gem and bring it back!
    Steven: What- NO! Please don't take my gem! (suddenly confused) Wait, what would even happen to me?
  • Eyeball's darkly hilarious face and chewing on her chisel as she fantasizes about getting her own Pearl.

    Season 4 

"The Kindergarten Kid"
  • Despite usually being in control of the situation, Garnet gets bulldozed by the gem monster. This was apparently embarrassing enough that Garnet didn't want Pearl to give a play-by-play while explaining why it's not suppose to be funny.
  • Peridot's attempts to catch the Monster of the Week. All of them. It's basically a love letter to the Road Runner cartoons, with Peridot playing the part of Wile. E. Coyote.
    • First she gets crushed by a bunch of large rocks which she crawls out from under only to then get crushed by the gem drill she attempted to drop on the Gem monster, then she's sent flying into a wall by a homemade cannon and gets hit by an avalanche (which ended up flattening her hair!), THEN she falls of a cliff and gets crushed by the boulder she set up as a trap, TWICE!
  • Steven pelting Peridot with marshmallows until she flips out to show her what it's like to be a monster.
  • We see Peridot trying to get in the thought processes of the Gem Monster. How? By lightly bouncing up and down, sticking her tongue out immediately after the Gem Monster. This works, allowing her to get close enough to kick it. The monster doesn't take this at all well and attacks her again.
  • Peridot's Impact Silhouette including her hair.
  • The other Gems never left, and stayed hidden, watching, for the entire time Peridot tried to catch the monster, not because they were concerned but because Garnet told them it would be funny via future vision.
  • Lapis barely reacting to the bubble Peridot made with the corrupted Gem popping into existence near the roof of the barn.

"Know Your Fusion"
  • As Steven and Amethyst are trying to set up the reveal of their new fusion, they ask Garnet and Pearl if they know who beat Jasper.
    Garnet: Peridot.
  • When Garnet and Pearl meet Smoky Quartz their reactions are priceless, with Pearl stunned beyond belief and Garnet going full on squee.
  • Sardonyx and Smoky Quartz trading awful puns.
    Sardonyx: You've made quite the impression already! In fact, one in the wall over there, and there...
    Smoky Quartz: Aheh... sorry. Looks like I got a bit carried away, I can, uh... reel it in?
  • Sardonyx briefly going Grammar Nazi on Smoky.
    Smoky Quartz: I can't see nothin' in here.
    Sardonyx: You cannot see anything, my darling. Because the show hasn't started yet!
  • Sardonyx's Show Within a Show, especially since it has no fourth wall. A highlight of this would be when clips from "Giant Woman" and "Super Watermelon Island" are shown on a monitor, with "Footage courtesy of Cartoon Network" appearing at the bottom!
    Sardonyx: Don't those cartoon characters make you wanna buy those products? I sure hope so, or else I'll be off air.
    • Special mention goes to Sugilite's "segment" using voice clips from "Coach Steven" in the form of a strength testing game and Sardonyx's off-hand mention about having to pay her voice actor despite not actually appearing in the episode.
    • Sardonyx hurls her mic offstage, and apparently hits a cat...somehow.
    • Everything she hurls offstage hits something. Including four pencils that somehow all hit the same guy at once.
    • This extends to everything Smoky Quartz throws off screen as well.
    • "Easy crowd, huh? Where'd you get 'em?" "I made them myself!" (Smoky Quartz stares ahead with a mildly terrified expression)
    • Pearl representing rock bottom on the strength tester, the only single gem on it.
  • What's the rule about weapons in the house?
    Sardonyx: Mostly allowed, really.

"Buddy's Book"
  • Steven "parking" Lion and saying he won't go anywhere... so of course Lion immediately wanders off as soon as they leave. The way Lion holds his nose in the air suggests he's doing it on purpose. There's also his glare at Steven when Steven says he parked a little crooked.
  • Steven being overly excited about the library.
    Librarian: Shhhhhh!
    Steven: (loudly whispering) Booooooooks!
  • Steven scooching around the aisles on a little wheelie stool.
  • Connie gleefully knocking aside her study material when something more interesting comes up.
  • Jamie is cast as Buddy in their minds, and he hams it up as usual.
  • Steven amending his imagined story to put the Gems in more old-timey clothes.
    • To that end, old timey!Pearl and Garnet getting on a two-seater Penny-farthing and twiddling away over a hill for no ostensible reason.
    • Serves as a Brick Joke, as Steven apparently remembered the old picture of the Gems from way back in "So Many Birthdays" and so imagined them in the outfits he saw in the picture.
  • Pearl marks all the locations of dangerous Gem stuff that Buddy should avoid on the map. Garnet then ends up "subtly" encouraging him to go to all those places anyway.
  • When Amethyst discovers Buddy inspecting her hole in the Kindergarten.
    Amethyst: Hey, buddy!
    Buddy: (nervous) Yes, this is Buddy speaking.
    Amethyst: Get outta mah hole.
    • Amethyst using the word "fam"... centuries before the word becomes contemporary.
    • When Amethyst makes him realize he's not really an explorer if he hasn't discovered anything for himself, Buddy gets so upset that he bursts out crying, flailing his limbs like a child having a temper tantrum.
    • "Come back anytime! But not too much!"
  • Rose breaks the fourth wall, and Buddy follows her Aside Glance as if wondering what she's looking at.
  • Steven somberly notes that the diary ends with Buddy dying in the desert... then realizes there's actually a lot more.
  • Connie learned the hard way not to blindly trust the Internet as a resource, after buying a claim that raccoons have Eye Beams. And even Steven is promptly taken in by it.

"Mindful Education"
  • Stevens comments about his bald head. Especially his jab about how his father warned him it would happen eventually.
  • Connie failing to notice Steven's bald cap.
  • Garnet producing her Fusion Sign while going "vvvvvwoop!". Her enthusiasm in general.
  • Holo-Pearls robotic Fusion Dance, complete with weird music.
  • Fusion Holo Pearl's "Come at me, children!"
  • Holo-Pearl's facial expression as Stevonnie jumps over her and floats up to a pillar during their first fight.
  • The return of "Hold the phone. Now give the phone to me."
  • While what they stand for isn't funny, it is kind of amusing to see Ruby completely rage out at a butterfly.
  • Despite the emotional roller coaster that came just before it, the sight of Stevonnie flapping their legs before landing like they were swimming in water is weirdly comical.
    • Stevonnie kind of floated like a Yoshi in that moment.

"Future Boy Zoltron"
  • Steven tries to warn Onion off stealing tickets from the machines by telling him "If you're not careful, Zoltron sees prison bars in your future!" Onion looks thoughtful... and tries disguising his identity with a ski mask.
  • Mr. Frowney's perpetual moping is so over-the-top it's sometimes hilarious.
  • Steven answering one questioner with "That-sounds-like-a-question-for-your-doctor."
  • When Steven asks if he's paid off his debt by helping Mr. Smiley patch things up with his old partner, Mr. Smiley points out that the antique Zoltron machine was worth thousands, so he's still got a ways to go.
    Steven: Zoltron sees cramped legs in his future...
  • When Mr. Frowney sees Steven, out of the machine but still in his Zoltron costume, he immediately panics.
    Frowney: HE CAME TO LIFE!
  • Garnet agrees that helping some random stranger "seems like an appropriate use of my powers."

"Last One Out of Beach City"
  • Pearl and Steven's original plans for the evening involved doing a jigsaw puzzle with a zebra-stripe pattern, which Pearl boasts has a whopping six-hundred and twelve pieces and no edges. Then Steven finds an edge piece.
    Pearl: Oh. Oh...
  • Pearl trying to act cool is an absolute goldmine:
    • Pearl popping the collar of her jacket to look cooler.
      Pearl: It's cool because the collar isn't supposed to go that way.
    • Pearl coolly declaring she'll try drinking apple juice tonight. The way she delivers it (and the others' reactions) almost make it seem like she announced her intent to empty a big bottle of vodka.
    • And then she fails to open the can for 10 seconds (she tries tapping the tab and pulling on the lid at one point).
    • "Nostalgic for the suburbs? They've only existed for what, seventy years?"
    • And then she drinks the juice, only to be reminded that she really doesn't like this whole 'eating/drinking' thing. Better yet, she doesn't say it, she just gives a victorious smile when she finally opens the can, only to cringe in disgust the second the juice touches her mouth.
    • After evading the police, Steven tells Pearl she's a criminal now.
      Pearl: "Now"? I've been a criminal for 6000 years.
  • The fact that Pearl spends the entire episode instantly and completely smitten by a human she barely knows, especially when you consider her disdain for humans, her obsession with Rose, and the fact that it's Pearl, Super OCD, Badass Teacher, sitting-at-home-doing-jigsaws-is-fun Pearl!
  • Amethyst asks Steven for the "Sugar Shock Shut-Down" beverage can, opens it... and proceeds to eat the can.
  • Steven brings up the Elephant in the Room.
    Steven: Okay, nobody's gonna say it? She kinda looked like mom! You noticed, I noticed, we all noticed.
  • Amethyst's enthusiasm from watching Pearl act so different.
    Amethyst: ( in the middle of trying to evade police) Pearl, you're a total bad-!
  • Pearl on her lack of a driver's license.
    Pearl: What was I supposed to tell the DMV? That I'm from another planet?! I'm not exactly a citizen, Steven!
  • The sign that they hide behind reads: "OCEAN TOWN: No longer on FIRE"
  • Pearl's rant as she starts angrily stripping off her rock show outfit: "I was going to drink a juice and wear these... pants!"
    • And Pearl is really wearing those pants, and not, y'know, materializing them like she has done before.
    • Also just the amount of time she struggles to get out of them, including every possible ridiculous pose you could strike while trying to take them off.
  • Early on, Amethyst say they gonna see "Mike" Krol. Later, when Pearl is complaining about trying to be a rebel, she says "I really wanted to see your Krol."
  • "I was going to hit humans gently enough to not hurt them and you were all going to think, 'Pearl, she's so cool!'"
  • "I haven't been that scared since you almost let me die!"
    • And we're not sure which incident Steven is referring to.
  • We see the crowd listening intently...except for one guy who is passionately singing along.
  • "Wait, no! You can start smaller! Talk to a nerd!!"
  • And Steven's reaction, "Amethyst!" The way Zach Callison says it.
  • Look closely when Pearl goes up to talk to the Mystery Girl; her eyes are clearly animated going top to bottom checking Pearl out and liking what she sees.
  • Pearl's idea of socializing with humans is explaining that her appearance is just a conscious manipulation of light, and then informing them that she saved their planet and their species and they should thank her. Funnily enough, it works.
  • The 'ending credits'
    and introducing MYSTERY GIRL as HERSELF
    • The entire episode is presented like a typical 90s Gen-X teenage, going-to-the-big-rock-show, coming-of-age movie.

"Onion Gang"
  • The episode opens with Steven and Onion jumping on the couch in Steven's house. Which they've apparently been doing for two hours.
  • All the times Steven acts as Onion's narrator (with the last one being Heartwarming).
  • As Onion drags Steven off into the woods, they pass by Onion's house, where Yellowtail is posing for a painting for his wife... while lounging in a deck chair wearing nothing but underpants.
  • Soup looking like Frisk is funny enough on it's own, but it gets funnier when you realize that "Onion Gang" aired on Undertale's anniversary.
  • Steven overreacting to Garbanzo "dying" after they crash their go-kart, complete with ketchup-as-fake-blood and Squash closing Garbanzo's eyes.
  • The gang has a lot of pictures of people they scared with their trench coat joke pinned to a tree. Everyone on the photos looks either scared or annoyed. Well, with the exception of Garnet, who stares at the camera with her typical deadpan and gives a thumbs-up. Which makes sense, since she probably knew what was going on.
    • She may even have been endorsing what she saw as a human attempt at fusion, which is an even funnier possibility.
  • Steven texts Peedee to ask if he wants to hang out, who declines due to the end of summer creating an upsurge in business for Beach Citywalk Fries. He promptly follows this up with a bunch of happy emojis.
  • When Squash is packing up his suitcase, the entire thing is filled with squashes.

"Gem Harvest"
  • This:
    Peridot: (Comes onscreen on a tractor) Steven! (Tractor goes off-screen)
    Peridot: (Tractor comes back) I'm on a tractor!
  • Lapis and Peridot assuming that growing vegetables was like growing Gems.
  • Upon seeing Andy, Garnet comments about how she told Lapis and Peridot that it would have been a good idea to get a guard dog. Cue Veggie Head running up and barking at them, eliciting aghast and confused looks from Pearl and Amethyst. Garnet's only reaction?
    Garnet: I guess that works.
  • Andy assuming that Lapis and Peridot were hobos, then hippies.
  • The Reveal that Greg Universe was born... Greg DeMayo. And Steven actually thinking it's a better last name than "boring old Universe".
    • After we find out Greg legally changed it, we get this bit:
      Andy: You didn't even keep the family name!? But you go around giving away family property like candy on...some candy-giving-out holiday!?
  • The Gems try to liven up the family dinner by combining other human festivities, like getting married (with a wedding cake), being born (with a balloon reading "It's a BOY"), and dying (with a tombstone with Andy's name on it). Andy looks annoyed... then bursts out laughing.
    Lapis: We're very sorry for your marriage.
    • The fact that Pearl introduces the wedding cake by saying "We heard you like marriage, so we thought 'why don't we all marry each other'?"
  • The Gems cracking in-jokes at the dinner table.
    Peridot: Now that I've been at this table, I see the value of corn!
  • Everyone's (save Peridot, who's laughing right alongside Lapis) awkward reactions when Lapis cracks a joke about her imprisonment in the mirror.
  • A meta example, the fact that Andy is voiced by Dave Willis makes it hard not to imagine Andy as Carl Brutananadilewski.
  • Doubles as Heartwarming. While the Gems were waiting for Steven to return, Lapis and Peridot were apparently trying to teach Veggie Head how to speak. What was one of the words Peri tried to teach him?
    Peridot: Now, say "clod." Ca-lo-duh.

"Three Gems And A Baby"
  • Baby Steven popping out of the bag of groceries after Greg finds he's been carrying a loaf of bread swaddled in a blanket. Either poor, frazzled single dad Greg got a bit mixed-up, or Steven somehow swapped places with the loaf while Greg wasn't looking. It's funny either way.
  • The wildly-inappropriate gifts the Gems gets for baby Steven: a safety razor from Garnet, a box of (adult) diapers from Amethyst, and a dictionary from Pearl.
  • When Steven's gem glows, Pearl becomes convinced that Rose is inside it and tries to talk with her through the gem... and baby Steven grabs her nose.
    Pearl: (deadpan) Baby, please. I'm trying to talk to Rose.
  • The title for the book Vidalia had on babies is called "Babies, Huh?"
  • Steven understanably freaks out when he finds out the Gem's abruptly kidnapped him as a baby.
    Steven: You kidnapped me?!
    Amethyst: (Casually) A-Yup.
    Garnet: Some of our actions were a bit... regrettable.
    Pearl: At the time we thought it'd be better to handle things our way.
    Amethyst: Nah, we straight up 'napped you.
  • When the Gems kidnap baby Steven to both raise him themselves and get Rose back, Greg tries to catch up by borrowing a sled and a dog. Poor Greg ends up being chased by said dog, who's carrying the sled.
    • Amethyst's remark of "Good thing we left without any explanation."
    • Greg's whole Sesame Street routine when coming up with the idea to put together a dogsled.
    "Dog... sled... Dog. Sled. Dog! Sled!"
  • Amethyst apparently shapeshifted into a toilet for a while. No explanation for why she did this is given.
    • She also thinks that baby Steven is just Rose shapeshifted into a baby, and wonders if being a baby is fun. She then changes into a baby and tells Garnet to hold her, then after a few seconds, just says "Alright, I get it. This rules."
  • Steven's Brutal Honesty about the Gem's actions in the story, even if it leads into a heartwarming speech:
    Steven: Wow, you guys were wrong about everything.
  • The Gems once mistook Steven's babysitter taking him to the park for a kidnapping, and one of them wound up throwing a jungle gym at her.

"We Are The Crystal Gems (Extended Intro)"
  • Greg hands Pearl a bottle of water. Pearl, puzzled, hands it off to Amethyst, who exclaims "Aw yes!", splashes the water in her face, and then eats the bottle.
  • Steven hands Amethyst a plate full of food. Amethyst puts the entire thing (plate included) in her mouth, then spits the plate back out... with a chunk bitten out of it.

"Just Lion Things"
  • Lion tries (and fails) to fit into various cardboard boxes like a common housecat.
  • Lars: "Ahh! Again!?

"Novelty Backpack"
  • Jamie the mailman hamming it up when he delivers Steven's package. Then asking if he can have a copy of the video for his "reel".
  • Steven describes his new bag as "six-and-a-half hot dogs long. For all you international viewers, that's about seven metric bratwursts."
  • Steven trying to continue his video while the Gems are fighting the Slinker from "Reformed" just off-screen.
  • Amethyst being thrown across the room in the background while Steven is recording.

"The Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?"
  • "Nice mass."
  • Garnet smacking Amethyst over the head to demonstrate how Gems get "poofed".

"The Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?"
  • Amethyst faking out the audience by acting like she's about to give them The Talk: "When a mommy Gem and a daddy Gem love each other very much... PSYCHE!"
  • Pearl getting so wrapped up in apologizing for any damage the injectors at the Kindergarten did to Earth that Garnet just picks her up and walks away.
  • Steven getting distracted by imagining what the Gems would look like as babies.

"The Classroom Gems: Fusion"
  • Garnet introducing the short by punching through the title card.
  • Pearl and Amethyst childishly squabbling after they de-fuse.

"Cooking with Lion"
  • The whole thing shown as an in-universe YouTube video.
  • Steven has to improvise with his sushi roll because Lion ate all the tuna and then threw it up into his shoes.
  • The cuts to Lion with Steven pretending to speak as him.
  • When Steven finishes making his Snack Sushi, Lion knocks him aside and eats all of it with Steven crying out that Lion needs to savor the flavors.
  • In the next video, Steven will show the viewer how to make Cookie Cats.

"Steven Reacts"
  • Steven reacts to a new episode of Crying Breakfast Friends. The set-up is exactly like a "react" recap from Youtube. There are plenty of loving digs at the fandom.
    "I can't wait until the next episode, whenever that is, am I right?"
  • The head writer for CBF is "Samantha Pepper".
  • And then, inevitably, we got react videos to Steven's react video.
    • Then we got Steven reacting to other internet videos (one such example being this).
  • The fact that the video got removed... by a copyright strike from CN!

"Video Chat"

"Gem Karaoke"
  • The dueling sassy stances between the Gems, particularly Steven's and Pearl's.
  • Connie going full large ham when she finally works up the courage to sing.
  • The callback of them singing the song from "Sadie's Song."
  • At the beginning of the short, Pearl's having trouble entering the song on the karaoke machine (she didn't press "start"). At the end, she discovers she entered the same song 15 times.
    Connie: ENCORE!

    Peridot's Twitter 

    Other Side/Promotional Materials 

    Steven Universe Zines 
The Steven Universe Zines exclusive to the 2016 San Diego Comic Con.
  • SU Eatin' Zine by Amber Rogers features the main characters eating food. Greg is eating a hot dog, Steven is eating a doughnut, Garnet is eating popcorn, Amethyst is drinking tea while eating the teabag and the mug, Pearl is eating a slice of pie, Peridot is eating a cake while biting onto the fork, Jasper is eating a T-bone steak with her hands, and Lapis is eating ice cream with her hands.
  • Initial SU [a parody you didn't know that you didn't want] by Hilary Florido that features the Gems acting like teenagers and Steven acting like an adult who sells tofu and his daughter is Stevonnie.
    • When Pearls needs Steven to race against Kevin, he instead sends Stevonnie to take his place instead, much to the disappointment of the Gems.
    Stevonnie: My dad said if I race and win, he'll give me a full tank of gas. Gas is pricey and I can't keep a job 'cause I don't wear shoes. This is a big deal for me!
    Pearl: But... but...
    Peridot: Our honor!
    • While racing, Stevonnie thinks to herself why doesn't she buy shoes and why her family sells tofu when her father loves pizza.
    • In the end, it was Garnet who won the race, on a pair of rollerblades.
    Garnet: It was me doing a sick grind on the guard rail!
    Stevonnie: My free tank of gas!
    Kevin: It's night and she's wearing sunglasses! It's too cool!
    • Garnet revealing she was actually chasing down Stevonnie so she can buy all the tofu they have. The zine ends saying "And everyone lived happily ever after!", while Kevin is still crying that he lost.
  • San Diego Comic-Con Exclusive 2016 Zine, by Mira W. and Lauren Zuke:
    • Step by Step Guide to Propagation: Steven teaches the reader how to grow new succulents. His last step is spitting on the leaves.
    • Selfie!: The Crystal Gems incorrectly taking a selfie by having the camera facing the other way. Not only that, Garnet's finger was on the camera lens.
    • So Spoiled!: When Garnet kisses Steven on his forehead, she accidentally gave him her Future Vision leading to him accidentally envision the Cry Breakfast Friends' season finale.
    • Responsible Earth Citizens: Features Peridot and Lapis where Peridot is the breadwinner and Lapis is the homemaker.
    Peridot: Lazuli! I'm home from "job".
    Lapis: (holding a baking dish) Oh! How was it?
    Peridot: I got "fired".
    Lapis: Fired?! How will we pay our "bill(s)"!?
    (Beat, Peridot and Lapis burst out laughing)
    Peridot: So! Whatcha make for dinner?
    Lapis: (presenting the baking dish) Nothing!!!!
    (Peridot and Lapis burst out laughing again and falls to the ground)
    • ...A Fast Food AU: The Gems are working as fast food workers with Lapis as an apathetic cashier, Amethyst eating the food that she's suppose to bring to the customers, and Peridot being the "best" assistant manager ever. Out of all of these three, Lapis is the one that gets fired. Also, Garnet's hair is on fire... for some reason.
    • Bowled Over: Peridot suggesting to Amethyst and Lapis they go to the bowling alley, despite Lapis' protest. At the bowling alley, Amethyst is eating the bowling ball, Peridot is bowling with a two pounds bowling ball, and Lapis getting annoyed by the bowling noises.
    • Peridot's Guide to C.P.H.: Peridot explains how she feels about "Camp Pining Hearts" and why Season Five was considered the worst.
      Season One: "A rocky start, but to it's credit, everyone was still figuring out what they were doing. Especially Paulette. But I don't like her so I don't forgive her."
      Season Two: "Wow!! The golden years! This is where Percy comes along. Percy introduced a whole new dynamic to the camp hierarchy. I can't believe he was secretly wearing shorts the *whole time!*"
      Season Three: "Pierre is a werewolf. Note to self: Cool."
      Season Five: "Oh my solar system. Oh my Jupiter on the wrong axis. Really?? Really! 12 episodes at a beach!? What is this? Beach Pining Hearts? Hahahaaha. I'm typing laughter as I actually laugh."
      "Wait, where's Season Four? Oh yeah I forgot about it because Five was so bad."
    • Actual Fusion Cuisine: Steven is eating spaghetti. He loves it so much that he starts dancing with it and accidentally fuses with it to become a spagetti monster. But it was All Just a Dream.
    • Fusion Poutine: Peridot is a camper at Camp Pining Hearts for the Yellow cabin and in order for her cabin to win the annual sac race, Peridot asks Percy to fuse with her. They fuse and they become a spaghetti monster. But it was All Just a Dream.

    Cast & Crew