Funny / Steven Universe

Also see here for non-canon work.

Unmarked spoilers ahead.

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"We Are The Crystal Gems (Extended Intro)"
  • Greg hands Pearl a bottle of water. Pearl, puzzled, hands it off to Amethyst, who exclaims "Aw yes!", splashes the water in her face, and then eats the bottle.
  • Steven hands Amethyst a plate full of food. Amethyst puts the entire thing (plate included) in her mouth, then spits the plate back out... with a chunk bitten out of it.

"Just Lion Things"
  • Lion tries (and fails) to fit into various cardboard boxes like a common housecat.
  • Lars: "Ahh! Again!?

"Novelty Backpack"
  • Jamie the mailman hamming it up when he delivers Steven's package. Then asking if he can have a copy of the video for his "reel".
  • Steven describes his new bag as "six-and-a-half hot dogs long. For all you international viewers, that's about seven metric bratwursts."
  • Steven trying to continue his video while the Gems are fighting the Slinker from "Reformed" just off-screen.
  • Amethyst being thrown across the room in the background while Steven is recording.

"The Classroom Gems: What Are Gems?"
  • "Nice mass."
  • Garnet smacking Amethyst over the head to demonstrate how Gems get "poofed".

"The Classroom Gems: How Are Gems Made?"
  • Amethyst faking out the audience by acting like she's about to give them The Talk: "When a mommy Gem and a daddy Gem love each other very much... PSYCH!"
  • Pearl getting so wrapped up in apologizing for any damage the injectors at the Kindergarten did to Earth that Garnet just picks her up and walks away.
  • Steven getting distracted by imagining what the Gems would look like as babies.

"The Classroom Gems: Fusion"
  • Garnet introducing the short by punching through the title card.
  • Pearl and Amethyst childishly squabbling after they de-fuse.

"Cooking with Lion"
  • The whole thing shown as an in-universe YouTube video.
  • Steven has to improvise with his sushi roll because Lion ate all the tuna and then threw it up into his shoes.
  • The cuts to Lion with Steven pretending to speak as him.
  • When Steven finishes making his Snack Sushi, Lion knocks him aside and eats all of it with Steven crying out that Lion needs to savor the flavors.
  • In the next video, Steven will show the viewer how to make Cookie Cats.

"Steven Reacts"
  • Steven reacts to a new episode of Crying Breakfast Friends. The set-up is exactly like a "react" recap from Youtube. There are plenty of loving digs at the fandom.
    "I can't wait until the next episode, whenever that is, am I right?"
  • The head writer for CBF is "Samantha Pepper".
  • And then, inevitably, we got react videos to Steven's react video.
    • Then we got Steven reacting to other internet videos (one such example being this).
  • Meta, but the fact that the video got removed... by a copyright strike from CN!

"Video Chat"

"Gem Karaoke"
  • The dueling sassy stances between the Gems, particularly Steven's and Pearl's.
  • Connie going full large ham when she finally works up the courage to sing.
  • The callback of them singing the song from "Sadie's Song."
  • At the beginning of the short, Pearl's having trouble entering the song on the karaoke machine (she didn't press "start"). At the end, she discovers she entered the same song 15 times.
    Connie: ENCORE!

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    Other Side/Promotional Materials 

    Steven Universe Zines 
The Steven Universe Zines exclusive to the 2016 San Diego Comic Con.
  • SU Eatin' Zine by Amber Rogers features the main characters eating food. Greg is eating a hot dog, Steven is eating a doughnut, Garnet is eating popcorn, Amethyst is drinking tea while eating the teabag and the mug, Pearl is eating a slice of pie, Peridot is eating a cake while biting onto the fork, Jasper is eating a T-bone steak with her hands, and Lapis is eating ice cream with her hands.
  • Initial SU [a parody you didn't know that you didn't want] by Hilary Florido that features the Gems acting like teenagers and Steven acting like an adult who sells tofu and his child is Stevonnie.
    • When Pearl needs Steven to race against Kevin, he instead sends Stevonnie to take his place instead, much to the disappointment of the Gems.
    Stevonnie: My dad said if I race and win, he'll give me a full tank of gas. Gas is pricey and I can't keep a job 'cause I don't wear shoes. This is a big deal for me!
    Pearl: But... but...
    Peridot: Our honor!
    • While racing, Stevonnie thinks to themself why don't they buy shoes and why their family sells tofu when their father loves pizza.
    • In the end, it was Garnet who won the race, on a pair of rollerblades.
    Garnet: It was me doing a sick grind on the guard rail!
    Stevonnie: My free tank of gas!
    Kevin: It's night and she's wearing sunglasses! It's too cool!
    • Garnet revealing she was actually chasing down Stevonnie so she can buy all the tofu they have. The zine ends saying "And everyone lived happily ever after!", while Kevin is still crying that he lost.
  • San Diego Comic-Con Exclusive 2016 Zine, by Mira W. and Lauren Zuke:
    • Step by Step Guide to Propagation: Steven teaches the reader how to grow new succulents. His last step is spitting on the leaves.
    • Selfie!: The Crystal Gems incorrectly taking a selfie by having the camera facing the other way. Not only that, Garnet's finger was on the camera lens.
    • So Spoiled!: When Garnet kisses Steven on his forehead, she accidentally gave him her Future Vision, leading to him envisioning the Crying Breakfast Friends' season finale.
    • Responsible Earth Citizens: Features Peridot and Lapis where Peridot is the breadwinner and Lapis is the homemaker.
    Peridot: Lazuli! I'm home from "job".
    Lapis: (holding a baking dish) Oh! How was it?
    Peridot: I got "fired".
    Lapis: Fired?! How will we pay our "bill(s)"!?
    (Beat, Peridot and Lapis burst out laughing)
    Peridot: So! Whatcha make for dinner?
    Lapis: (presenting the baking dish) Nothing!!!!
    (Peridot and Lapis burst out laughing again and fall to the ground)
    • ...A Fast Food AU: The Gems are working as fast food workers with Lapis as an apathetic cashier, Amethyst eating the food that she's suppose to bring to the customers, and Peridot being the "best" assistant manager ever. Out of all of these three, Lapis is the one that gets fired. Also, Garnet's hair is on fire... for some reason.
    • Bowled Over: Peridot suggesting to Amethyst and Lapis they go to the bowling alley, despite Lapis' protest. At the bowling alley, Amethyst is eating the bowling ball, Peridot is bowling with a two pounds bowling ball, and Lapis getting annoyed by the bowling noises.
    • Peridot's Guide to C.P.H.: Peridot explains how she feels about "Camp Pining Hearts" and why Season Five was considered the worst.
      Season One: "A rocky start, but to it's credit, everyone was still figuring out what they were doing. Especially Paulette. But I don't like her so I don't forgive her."
      Season Two: "Wow!! The golden years! This is where Percy comes along. Percy introduced a whole new dynamic to the camp hierarchy. I can't believe he was secretly wearing shorts the *whole time!*"
      Season Three: "Pierre is a werewolf. Note to self: Cool."
      Season Five: "Oh my solar system. Oh my Jupiter on the wrong axis. Really?? Really! 12 episodes at a beach!? What is this? Beach Pining Hearts? Hahahaaha. I'm typing laughter as I actually laugh."
      "Wait, where's Season Four? Oh yeah I forgot about it because Five was so bad."
    • Actual Fusion Cuisine: Steven is eating spaghetti. He loves it so much that he starts dancing with it and accidentally Fuses with it to become a spaghetti monster. But it was All Just a Dream.
    • Fusion Poutine: Peridot is a camper at Camp Pining Hearts for the Yellow cabin and in order for her cabin to win the annual sac race, Peridot asks Percy to Fuse with her. They Fuse and they become a spaghetti monster. But it was All Just a Dream. Again.

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