"It's cool, because the collar isn't supposed to go that way."
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"Kindergarten Kid"
- Despite usually being in control of the situation, Garnet gets bulldozed by the Gem monster. This was apparently embarrassing enough that Garnet didn't want Pearl to give a play-by-play while explaining why it's not supposed to be funny.
- Peridot's attempts to catch the Monster of the Week. All of them. It's basically a love letter to the Wile E. Coyote and the Road Runner cartoons, with Peridot playing the part of Wile. E. Coyote.
- First she gets crushed by a bunch of large rocks which she crawls out from under only to then get crushed by the gem drill she attempted to drop on the Gem monster, then she's sent flying into a wall by a homemade cannon and gets hit by an avalanche (which ended up flattening her hair!), THEN she falls of a cliff and gets crushed by the boulder she set up as a trap, TWICE!Steven: You don't poof easily, huh?
- First she gets crushed by a bunch of large rocks which she crawls out from under only to then get crushed by the gem drill she attempted to drop on the Gem monster, then she's sent flying into a wall by a homemade cannon and gets hit by an avalanche (which ended up flattening her hair!), THEN she falls of a cliff and gets crushed by the boulder she set up as a trap, TWICE!
- Steven pelting Peridot with marshmallows until she flips out to show her what it's like to be a monster.
- We see Peridot trying to get in the thought processes of the Gem Monster. How? By lightly bouncing up and down, sticking her tongue out immediately after the Gem Monster. This works, allowing her to get close enough to kick it. The monster doesn't take this at all well and attacks her again.
- Peridot's Impact Silhouette including her hair.
- The other Gems never left, and stayed hidden, watching, for the entire time Peridot tried to catch the monster, not because they were concerned but because Garnet told them it would be funny via future vision.
- Lapis barely reacting to the bubble Peridot made with the corrupted Gem popping into existence near the roof of the barn.
"Know Your Fusion"
- As Steven and Amethyst are trying to set up the reveal of their new fusion, they ask Garnet and Pearl if they know who beat Jasper.Garnet: Peridot.
- When Garnet and Pearl meet Smoky Quartz their reactions are priceless, with Pearl stunned beyond belief and Garnet going full on Squee.
- "Explain everything!"
- Pearl screeches the above line while being shaken excitedly by a loudly yelling Garnet. Her expression of pure bewilderment at the situation (and her harried attempt to prevent a nearby lamp from falling over) make the scene perfect.
- Garnet's reaction is less "Squee!" and more "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!" while shaking Pearl. Garnet's scream lasts for 16 seconds while Smoky Quartz wrecks the house showing off their moves.
- Smoky Quartz makes a "knock your socks off" joke, and Pearl is shown literally pulling her sock back up afterward.
- Pearl is the (comparatively) level-headed one while Garnet goes out of her mind. Now look at the image at the top of the main page.
- Pearl's excitement becomes progressively more horrified when she realizes that Smoky is destroying the house. The fact that this happens as Garnet is tightly hugging her and screaming makes her rare moment of Only Sane Man of the whole group even better.
- Sardonyx and Smoky Quartz trading awful puns.Sardonyx: You've made quite the impression already! In fact, one in the wall over there, and there...
Smoky Quartz: Aheh... sorry. Looks like I got a bit carried away, I can, uh... reel it in? - Sardonyx briefly going Grammar Nazi on Smoky.Smoky Quartz: I can't see nothin' in here.
Sardonyx: You cannot see anything, my darling. Because the show hasn't started yet! - Sardonyx's Show Within a Show, especially since it has no fourth wall. A highlight of this would be when clips from "Giant Woman" and "Super Watermelon Island" are shown on a monitor, with "Footage courtesy of Cartoon Network" appearing at the bottom!Sardonyx: Don't those cartoon characters make you wanna buy those products? I sure hope so, or else I'll be off air.
- Special mention goes to Sugilite's "segment" using voice clips from "Coach Steven" in the form of a strength testing game, and Sardonyx's offhand mention about having to pay her voice actress despite not actually appearing in the episode.
- Sardonyx hurls her mic offstage, and apparently hits a cat... somehow.
- Everything she hurls offstage hits something. Including four pencils that somehow all hit the same guy at once.
- This extends to everything Smoky Quartz throws off screen as well.
- "Easy crowd, huh? Where'd you get 'em?" "I made them myself!" [Smoky Quartz stares ahead with a mildly terrified expression]
- Pearl representing rock bottom on the strength tester, the only single gem on it.
- What's the rule about weapons in the house?Sardonyx: Mostly allowed, really.
- Smoky's attempt at blowing fire fail and instead they burp... but it's still a strong enough burp to make the hanging target sway.
"Buddy's Book"
- Steven "parking" Lion and saying he won't go anywhere... so of course Lion immediately wanders off as soon as they leave. The way Lion holds his nose in the air suggests he's doing it on purpose. There's also his glare at Steven when Steven says he parked a little crooked.
- Steven being overly excited about the library.Steven: BOOOOOOOOOOOKS!
Librarian: Shhhhhh!
Steven: [loudly whispering] Booooooooks! - Connie learned the hard way not to blindly trust the Internet as a resource, after buying a claim that raccoons have Eye Beams. And even Steven is promptly taken in by it.
- Steven scooching around the aisles on a little wheelie stool.
- Connie gleefully knocking aside her study material when something more interesting comes up.
- Jamie is cast as Buddy in their minds, and he hams it up as usual.
- Steven amending his imagined story to put the Gems in more old-timey clothes.
- To that end, old timey!Pearl and Garnet getting on a two-seater penny-farthing
and twiddling away over a hill for no ostensible reason. - Serves as a Brick Joke, as Steven apparently remembered the old picture of the Gems from way back in "So Many Birthdays" and so imagined them in the outfits he saw in the picture.
- To that end, old timey!Pearl and Garnet getting on a two-seater penny-farthing
- Pearl marks all the locations of dangerous Gem stuff that Buddy should avoid on the map. Garnet then ends up "subtly" encouraging him to go to all those places anyway.
- When Amethyst discovers Buddy inspecting her hole in the Kindergarten.
- Amethyst using the word "fam"... centuries before the word becomes contemporary. Buddy is understandably confused.
- When Amethyst makes him realize he's not really an explorer if he hasn't discovered anything for himself, Buddy gets so upset that he bursts out crying, flailing his limbs like a child having a temper tantrum.
- "Come back anytime! But not too much!"
- Rose breaks the fourth wall, and Buddy follows her Aside Glance as if wondering what she's looking at.
- Steven somberly notes that the diary ends with Buddy dying in the desert... then realizes there's actually a lot more.
"Mindful Education"
- Steven's comments about his bald head. Especially his jab about how his father warned him it would happen eventually.
- Connie failing to notice Steven's bald cap.
- Garnet producing her Fusion Sign while going "vvvvvwoop!". Her enthusiasm in general.
- Holo-Pearls robotic Fusion Dance, complete with weird music.
- Fusion Holo-Pearl's "Come at me, children!"
- Holo-Pearl's facial expression as Stevonnie jumps over her and floats up to a pillar during their first fight.
- The return of "Hold the phone. Now give the phone to me."
- While what they stand for isn't funny, it is kind of amusing to see Ruby completely rage out at a butterfly.
- Despite the emotional roller coaster that came just before it, the sight of Stevonnie flapping their legs before landing like they were swimming in water is weirdly comical.
- Stevonnie kind of floated like a Yoshi in that moment.
"Future Boy Zoltron"
- Steven tries to warn Onion off stealing tickets from the machines by telling him "If you're not careful, Zoltron sees prison bars in your future!" Onion looks thoughtful... and tries disguising his identity with a ski mask.
- Made even funnier by the fact that Steven clearly meant "Breaking into ticket machines is against the law", whereas Onion apparently interpreted it to mean "Be more careful so you don't get caught."
- Mr. Frowney's perpetual moping is so over-the-top it's sometimes hilarious.
- Steven answering one questioner with "That-sounds-like-a-question-for-your-doctor."
- When Steven asks if he's paid off his debt by helping Mr. Smiley patch things up with his old partner, Mr. Smiley points out that the antique Zoltron machine was worth thousands, so he's still got a ways to go.Steven: Zoltron sees cramped legs in his future...
- When Mr. Frowney sees Steven, out of the machine but still in his Zoltron costume, he immediately panics.Frowney: HE CAME TO LIFE!
- For everything it's worth, Smiley and Frowney's routine is both cute and amusing.Mr. Smiley: You... havin' a bad day, Frowney?
Mr. Frowney: [Beat] Horrible!
Mr. Smiley: Well, why don't you go outside? The sun always cheers me up!
Mr. Frowney: I did... but it rained...
Mr. Smiley: Why don't you use an umbrella?
Mr. Frowney: I did... but it blew away!
Mr. Smiley: Oh, you must've been shocked!
Mr. Frowney: Yeah... that's when the lightning hit me. - Garnet agrees that helping some random stranger "seems like an appropriate use of my powers."
"Last One Out of Beach City"
- Pearl and Steven's original plans for the evening involved doing a jigsaw puzzle with a zebra-stripe pattern, which Pearl boasts has a whopping six-hundred and twelve pieces and no edges. Then Steven finds an edge piece.Pearl: Oh. Oh...
- Pearl trying to act cool is an absolute goldmine:
- Pearl popping the collar of her jacket to look cooler.Pearl: It's cool because the collar isn't supposed to go that way.
- Pearl coolly declaring she'll try drinking apple juice tonight. The way she delivers it (and the others' reactions) almost make it seem like she announced her intent to empty a big bottle of vodka.
- And then she fails to open the can for 10 seconds (she tries tapping the tab and pulling on the lid at one point).
- "Nostalgic for the suburbs? They've only existed for what, seventy years?"
- And then she drinks the juice, only to be reminded that she really doesn't like this whole "eating/drinking" thing. Better yet, she doesn't say it, she just gives a victorious smile when she finally opens the can, only to cringe in disgust the second the juice touches her mouth.
- After evading the police, Steven tells Pearl she's a criminal now.Pearl: "Now"? I've been a criminal for 6000 years.
- Pearl popping the collar of her jacket to look cooler.
- The fact that Pearl spends the entire episode instantly and completely smitten by a human she barely knows, especially when you consider her disdain for humans, her obsession with Rose, and the fact that it's Pearl, Badass Teacher, sitting-at-home-doing-jigsaws-is-fun Pearl!
- Amethyst asks Steven for the "Sugar Shock Shut-Down" beverage can, opens it... and proceeds to eat the can.
- Steven brings up the Elephant in the Room.Steven: Okay, nobody's gonna say it? She kinda looked like Mom! You noticed, I noticed, we all noticed.
- Amethyst actually didn't.
- Amethyst's enthusiasm from watching Pearl act so different.Amethyst: [in the middle of trying to evade police] Pearl, you're a total bad–!
- Pearl on her lack of a driver's license.Pearl: What was I supposed to tell the DMV? That I'm from another planet?! I'm not exactly a citizen, Steven!
- Even better, it's set up so that we think that the DMV wouldn't believe her if she says she's an extraterrestrial entity... instead, she implies that they would believe her, but they'd still refuse her because she's technically not an American citizen.
- Doesn't that make her an illegal alien?
- The fact that despite Pearl being out of touch with some aspects human society, Pearl knows what a driver's license is, and how to get one.
- The sign that they hide behind reads: "OCEAN TOWN: No longer on FIRE"
- Pearl's rant as she starts angrily stripping off her rock show outfit: "I was going to drink a juice and wear these... pants!"
- And Pearl is really wearing those pants, and not, y'know, materializing them like she has done before.
- Also just the amount of time she struggles to get out of them, including every possible ridiculous pose you could strike while trying to take them off.
- Early on, Amethyst say they're gonna see "Mike" Krol. Later, when Pearl is complaining about trying to be a rebel, she says "I really wanted to see your Krol."
- "I was going to drink a juice, and wear these PANTS, and hit people gently enough as to not actually hurt them, and you'd say 'wow, Pearl is really cool!' But nooooo, instead we drove to loud music, chased a mysterious woman into the night and broke the law. [sigh] I've lost my edge."
- "That's the most scared I've been since you almost let me die!" And we're not sure which incident Steven is referring to.
- We see the crowd listening intently... except for one guy who is passionately singing along.
- "Wait, no! You can start smaller! Talk to a nerd!!"
- And Steven's reaction, "Amethyst!" The way Zach Callison says it.
- Look closely when Pearl goes up to talk to the Mystery Girl; her eyes are clearly animated going top to bottom checking Pearl out and liking what she sees.
- Pearl's idea of socializing with humans is explaining that her appearance is just a conscious manipulation of light, and then informing them that she saved their planet and their species and they should thank her. Funnily enough, it works.
- The "ending credits":Starring PEARL as REPRESSED NERD
AMETHYST as ULTIMATE WINGMAN
STEVEN as VOICE OF REASON
and introducing MYSTERY GIRL as HERSELF- The entire episode is presented like a typical 90s Gen-X teenage, going-to-the-big-rock-show, coming-of-age movie.
"Onion Gang"
- The episode opens with Steven and Onion jumping on the couch in Steven's house. Which they've apparently been doing for two hours.
- All the times Steven acts as Onion's narrator (with the last one being Heartwarming).
- As Onion drags Steven off into the woods, they pass by Onion's house, where Yellowtail is posing for a painting for his wife... while lounging in a deck chair wearing nothing but underpants.
- Soup looking like Frisk is funny enough on its own, but it gets funnier when you realize that "Onion Gang" aired on Undertale's anniversary.
- Steven overreacting to Garbanzo "dying" after they crash their go-kart, complete with ketchup-as-fake-blood and Squash closing Garbanzo's eyes.
- The gang has a lot of pictures of people they scared with their trench coat joke pinned to a tree. Everyone on the photos looks either scared or annoyed. Well, with the exception of Garnet, who stares at the camera with her typical deadpan and gives a thumbs-up. Which makes sense, since she probably knew what was going on.
- She may even have been endorsing what she saw as a human attempt at fusion, which is an even funnier possibility.
- Steven texts Peedee to ask if he wants to hang out, who declines due to the end of summer creating an upsurge in business for Beach Citywalk Fries. He promptly follows this up with a bunch of happy emojis.
- When Squash is packing up his suitcase, the entire thing is filled with squashes.
"Gem Harvest"
- This:Peridot: [comes onscreen on a tractor] Steven! [tractor goes offscreen]
Peridot: [tractor comes back] I'm on a tractor! - Lapis and Peridot assuming that growing vegetables was like growing Gems.
- Steven using his healing spit on a pumpkin seed to "help" Lapis and Peridot.Steven: Garnet says not to lick stuff I find on the ground, but this is for a good cause!
- The dramatically over-the-top way Steven carves the pumpkin. In the end, Steven manages to scare Pumpkin into liking Lapis and Peridot.Peridot: It loves us now! (baby talking) Don't worry, Veggie Head, that brute can't get you now.
- Upon seeing Andy, Garnet comments about how she told Lapis and Peridot that it would have been a good idea to get a guard dog. Cue Pumpkin running up and barking at them, eliciting aghast and confused looks from Pearl and Amethyst. Garnet's only reaction?Garnet: I guess that works.
- Andy assuming that Lapis and Peridot were hobos, then hippies. Only gets better with how he "understands" Greg's explanation of them being alien refugees.Andy: They're ILLEGAL ALIENS?
- The Reveal that Greg Universe was born... Greg DeMayo. And Steven actually thinks it's a better last name than "boring old Universe".
- After we find out Greg legally changed it, we get this bit:Andy: You space walnut! You didn't even keep the family name, but you're go around giving away family property out like candy on... some candy-giving-out holiday!?
- After we find out Greg legally changed it, we get this bit:
- The Gems try to liven up the family dinner by combining other human festivities, like getting married (with a wedding cake), being born (with a balloon reading "It's a BOY"), and dying (with a tombstone with Andy's name on it). Andy looks annoyed... then bursts out laughing.Lapis: We're very sorry for your marriage.
- The fact that Pearl introduces the wedding cake by saying "We heard you like marriage, so we thought 'why don't we all marry each other'?"
- The Gems cracking in-jokes at the dinner table.Peridot: Now that I've been at this table, I see the value of corn!
- Everyone's (save Peridot, who's laughing right alongside Lapis) awkward reactions when Lapis cracks a joke about her imprisonment in the mirror.
- A meta example; the fact that Andy is voiced by Dave Willis makes it hard not to imagine Andy as Carl Brutananadilewski.
- Doubles as Heartwarming. While the Gems were waiting for Steven to return, Lapis and Peridot were apparently trying to teach Pumpkin how to speak. What was one of the words Peri tried to teach him?Peridot: Now, say "clod". Ca-lo-duh.
- As Andy is venting to Steven about the family leaving, you can just see a bored and blank expression on Lapis' face.
"Three Gems and a Baby"
- Just the way Steven yells "DAAAAD!" and Greg has to remind him that he's not that far away.
- Baby Steven popping out of the bag of groceries after Greg finds he's been carrying a loaf of bread swaddled in a blanket. Either poor, frazzled single dad Greg got a bit mixed-up, or Steven somehow swapped places with the loaf while Greg wasn't looking. It's funny either way.
- The wildly-inappropriate gifts the Gems gets for baby Steven: a safety razor from Garnet, a box of (adult) diapers from Amethyst, and a dictionary from Pearl.Greg: "Maybe you guys could use [the dictionary] to look up what a baby is."
- When Steven's gem glows, Pearl becomes convinced that Rose is inside it and tries to talk with her through the gem... and baby Steven grabs her nose.Pearl: [deadpan] Baby, please. I'm trying to talk to Rose.
- The title for the book Vidalia had on babies is called Babies, Huh?
- Steven understandably freaks out when he finds out the Gems abruptly kidnapped him as a baby.Steven: You kidnapped me?!
Amethyst: [casually] A-Yup.
Garnet: Some of our actions were a bit... regrettable.
Pearl: At the time we thought it'd be better to handle things our way.
Amethyst: Nah, we straight up 'napped you. - Greg's response to the Gems stealing his son and his car.Greg: Steven! My van! GIVE ME BACK MY BABIES!
- When the Gems kidnap baby Steven to both raise him themselves and get Rose back, Greg tries to catch up by borrowing a sled and a dog. Poor Greg ends up being chased by said dog, who's carrying the sled.
- Amethyst's remark of "Good thing we left without any explanation."
- Greg's whole Sesame Street routine when coming up with the idea to put together a dogsled."Dog... sled... Dog. Sled. Dog! Sled!"
- Amethyst apparently shapeshifted into a toilet for a while. No explanation for why she did this is given.
- She also thinks that baby Steven is just Rose shapeshifted into a baby, and wonders if being a baby is fun. She then changes into a baby and tells Garnet to hold her, then after a few seconds, just says "Alright, I get it. This rules."
- Garent, thinking Steven is a fusion, tells him that he can "take a little break" and that "she will too" before unfusing into Ruby and Sapphire. Steven looks around the van for Garnet and grows concerned when he can't find her. He reaches his hands up to the spot where Garnet was, and then bursts out crying. Ruby and Sapphire are horrified, with Sapphire even putting her hand over her mouth, and fuse back into Garnet.
- Steven's Brutal Honesty about the Gem's actions in the story, even if it leads into a heartwarming speech:Steven: Wow, you guys were wrong about everything.
- The Gems once mistook Steven's babysitter taking him to the park for a kidnapping, and one of them wound up throwing a jungle gym at her.
- Greg's phrasing implies that it was Pearl who threw it.
"Steven's Dream"
- "Look at the time... and my classy new watch!"
- Connie pushes all the papers off the table in her excitement.Connie: [in an incredibly excited tone] Sorry, I'll clean that up later!
- The way Steven looks up in wonder to watch the papers flying away.
- Steven shows Amethyst a picture of the Palanquin from Buddy's journal.Amethyst: Steven... you deserve to know the truth. And the truth is... I have no idea what that is, I've never seen it before in my life.
- Amethyst and Connie backing away unsure during Garnet and Steven's argument as if they suddenly realized they got over their heads in this argument.
- And then later on, Amethyst is eating popcorn watching, and offers a bit to Connie.
- Garnet tries to talk Steven out of going to the Palanquin, only to realize that everything she's saying just makes it seem more enticing.
- Steven insists that their mission to Korea to look for the Palanquin is serious work, and there'll be no time for fun. Greg insists there might be time for "a little fun". Cue Good-Times Montage of Greg and Steven taking in the sights around Korea, including:
- Greg and Steven indulging in a Costume-Test Montage.
- Greg mistaking one of a group of Miniature Senior Citizens for Steven.
- Steven and Greg wandering through an animation studio... one that's working on an episode of the Steven Universe cartoon, much to the bafflement and worry of Greg, who hastily shoos Steven out.
- Even better, the animator’s actually drawing a later frame from the same episode.
- When Steven and Greg get off and approach the area where Pink Diamond's Palanquin rests, there's a Korean sign that roughly states to stay away, as well as a piece of wood with the word "Please" written on it by Rose.
- Greg awkwardly trying to talk his way out when he and Steven run into Blue Diamond and Blue Pearl. Complete with finger guns.
- A small, easily missed one — Blue Diamond’s comment to Greg about her secret trips to Earth is reminiscent of a teenager confiding to their friend about disobeying their forbidding parent.Blue Diamond: [to Greg] You know, I really shouldn’t be here.
"Adventures in Light Distortion"
- Pearl feels faint on learning Blue Diamond's been spotted on Earth.Pearl: [weakly] Amethyst, turn into a chair... I need to sit down...
- "They took Greg?!" "Our Greg?!" "What other Greg is there?"
- The Homeworld Rubies make a cameo... still drifting helplessly through space after the events of "Back to the Moon" and "Bubbled". Three of them even collide with the Roaming Eye's windshield before sliding off. Steven says they can pick them up on the way home, after they rescue Greg.
- Pearl estimating that at their current rate of speed, they’ll reach the human zoo in about 70 human years, just in time for Greg’s "110th anniversary of being alive". When Steven objects, saying that Greg isn’t healthy enough to live that long, she asks if he thinks Greg can make it to 109.
- Pearl casually discussing how the FTL "gravity engine" on their ship might reduce Steven to a pancake of squashed flesh and bones, leading to this Hypocritical Humor moment:Amethyst: Euw, bones are gross!
Garnet: You have bones in your bedroom.
Amethyst: That's different. Those are my bones! - Steven manages to survive the activation of the gravity engine... but finds the gravity warp has compressed Garnet, Pearl, and Amethyst's bodies so they're thick-limbed and no taller than Steven, to Amethyst’s amusement.Amethyst: [giggling] Please tell me this lasts forever!
- When Amethyst tries to see if she can shapeshift out of it, she turns into her Purple Puma form, but with her size and proportions still short and squat.Amethyst: Huh. Check it out, Puma Cub.
- It turns out the Crystal Gems' condition is because the ship is calibrated to Rubies, as Peridot was trying to explain before they left.Pearl: Why doesn't she tell us anything? This is why we never listen to her!
- When Amethyst tries to see if she can shapeshift out of it, she turns into her Purple Puma form, but with her size and proportions still short and squat.
- The Hard Light bodies of Gems don't take well to faster-than-light travel. The Roaming Eye has slot machine-like software to counter this... except Steven can't find the right settings, deforming everyone's bodies in hilarious ways.
- First, they’re shrunk to Ruby-size. Then, they’re all tall and stretched out. Then, they’re shrunk to the size of bugs while their Gems appear oversized, and then they wind up taking up the whole screen because they’re Diamond-sized!
- And then there's the mere fact that the ship has a Diamond setting at all when there’s not enough space for even one Diamond to so much as sit without banging her head on the ceiling. And the fact that the bug-sized forms are a preset means that there are actually Gems of that size.
- When Steven tries to manually adjust the settings, things get even weirder. Their limbs and necks stretch out, and what happens after that is the most absurd; Pearl swells up like a balloon, Garnet turns into a kiddie stool with arms and legs (and starts rolling the inflated Pearl around), and Amethyst turns into a sausage!Amethyst: Uh, Steven? This is getting a little weird, even for me.
- And he actually gets it right at one point, but keeps changing things too fast to notice.
- First, they’re shrunk to Ruby-size. Then, they’re all tall and stretched out. Then, they’re shrunk to the size of bugs while their Gems appear oversized, and then they wind up taking up the whole screen because they’re Diamond-sized!
- It happens after a very cathartic moment, but watching the Gems clip through the wall back into the ship is pretty funny. They all look mildly traumatized (although Amethyst turns out to have liked it).Amethyst: I never knew I could stretch so far! [giggles] I think I sorta phased through a planet!
- Pearl’s slightly delirious explanation of what happened.
- The mental image of the Gems' physical forms being dragged behind the ship is hilarious too.
"Gem Heist"
- Steven’s idea for a disguise is calling himself "Esteban Universidad". And Sapphire actually calls him this. It's even funnier if you catch the mistranslation, as he's actually calling himself "Steven University".
- When Pearl asks if this will work, Sapphire replies with a no. She then tells the group to stick together, play it straight, and change the future with a crooked, forced grin.
- Steven calling the Gems rockheads.
- "Our" Amethyst’s shapeshifted attempt to look like a typical Amethyst guard gives her a bigger body, but the same round head and round eyes. The other Amethysts have smaller eyes and more squared features, and the contrast when she’s in the same shot as them is considerable.
- Ruby’s idea of a distraction apparently means screaming "EXPLOSION!", right in the middle of Holly Blue Agate’s explanation.Holly Blue Agate: Pardon me?
- She interrupted Holly Blue's explanation in such a way that for a moment it sounds like the one time Gems needed to get into the zoo was because of a human explosion.
- Doubles as kind of a heartwarming moment, but Sapphire almost blowing her cover when Ruby calls herself "disposable".Ruby: Forgive me, my Sapphire, I'm so forgetful and disposable!
Sapphire: [sounding slightly horrified] WHAT?
[Ruby, Steven and Pearl all gesture towards Holly Blue to remind Sapphire to focus on the mission] - Sapphire "winking". Since she has only one eye, it's indistinguishable from a regular blink and it takes a moment for Steven and Pearl to catch on.
- Once Sapphire and Holly Blue leave, Ruby throws a bit of a tantrum at the idea of Blue Diamond being "merciful".
- Ruby's reasons for hating Blue Diamond are that she shatters Gems, she hates fusion and love, and she yelled at Sapphire once. She completely disregards that Blue Diamond was going to shatter her around the same time.
- Ruby’s attempts to open the service door to the zoo. She first runs up against it, which leaves foot-shaped burn marks on the door. Then, she scratches at it while screaming at the top of her lungs, before letting her legs give out and lying face-down on the floor. This entire sequence barely takes five seconds.
- This exchange:Sapphire: I am SO GLAD we're ALMOST BACK, I was really enjoying the tour!
Holly Blue Agate: [cheerily] Yes, I can tell by the tone of your voice!- As they return to the zoo entrance, they are greeted by a dirtied and burned door, along with Steven, Ruby, and Pearl making the most unconvincing, "we totally weren't trying to open this door or anything!" poses right beside it.
- Pretty much anything to do with Holly Blue Agate, the insufferable boot-licking administrator at the Zoo.
- Holly Blue sees the burn marks Ruby left on the door to the Zoo... and assumes the damage was done by one of the Amethysts on board.
- Holly Blue tells off a few Amethysts for running and shouting in the Zoo like a very angry preschool teacher.Holly Blue Agate: We do not RUN OR SHOUT IN THESE HALLWAYS!
- Said Amethyst begins to talk softer… only for Holly to chastise her for mumbling. While still shouting.
- Also, she pretends she can't understand what Steven is saying... despite speaking the exact same language.
- Holly Blue's attitude toward Blue Diamond is very reminiscent of a teachers-pet student trying to kiss up to a teacher—except that Blue Diamond is nowhere in sight and it's implied she very rarely visits the zoo, meaning that Holly Blue's brownnosing is for the benefit of no-one
- Steven's angry and embarrassed reaction to being stripped of his clothes by the processing machine for the Zoo.
- When the machine’s "hand" tries to remove his pants, he pushes it away to get them and spare himself the humiliation, while the "hand" just waits for him to give it the pants.Steven: [grumbles] I'll just find my dad without pants.
- When the machine’s "hand" tries to remove his pants, he pushes it away to get them and spare himself the humiliation, while the "hand" just waits for him to give it the pants.
"The Zoo"
- Greg and Steven have to introduce the "Zoomans" to the cannonball because of the ridiculously small splashes they make, even from tall heights.Steven: Those are the teensiest splashes I've ever seen...
- The moment when Steven later punches Greg into a tree as part of a plan to open the door, and one of the Zoomans standing nearby misunderstands and shouts "Cannonball!"
- The citizens of the Zoo are apparently paired off for mating through "The Choosening". Apparently, the Gems running the zoo couldn’t come up with a better term.
- Greg’s response when he finds out what the Choosening is is to wearily comment that Utopias always have a catch.
- While his reasons are both understandable and heartwarming, the fact that Greg considers being paired with a pretty blonde to be a bad thing is funny itself.
- When Greg tries to tell the Zoo humans about Earthly relationships and courtship, everyone, male and female, tries to "choosen" Greg.
- Earlier, Greg is worried over being “choosened”, so Steven decides to assure him that since he’s a newcomer, he won’t get picked. Guess what happens?
- When Steven is carrying Greg away from the zoo humans that want to "choosen" him, he accidentally gets hit by a branch.Greg: Watch out for that–! [gets hit]
- This bit:Greg: I haven't broken this many hearts since I had all my hair!
- When Greg refuses to be "choosened" and makes all the other humans in the Zoo cry, a team of Amethysts burst into the room... and try to comfort the upset humans. Doubles as a heartwarming moment, too.
- Steven has to act a like a parent to Greg (who seems to enjoy living in the zoo) for the entire episode, wearing a deadpan expression and making snide comments the whole time.
- The idea that Steven, of all people, really has no time or patience to indulge the child-like, whimsical Zoomans.
"That Will Be All"
- Amethyst trolling Steven and Greg about being captured and joking around with the other Gems from the Prime and Beta Kindergartens.
- One of the Gems from the Beta Kindergarten is Carnelian, a squat red Gem who is delighted she's "not the shortest anymore!", and celebrates by lifting Amethyst over her head and running around laughing like a little kid who just got the best birthday present ever. Doubles as Heartwarming.
- The Jasper called "Skinny" is at least a head taller than any of the other Quartzes on the station, near the dramatic height of the Jasper we know — but she’s built like Pearl.
- Blink and you miss it, but when our Amethyst says the Zooman outfit is a good look for Greg, he looks flattered.
- Right when Steven is asking the Quartzes for help finding the other Crystal Gems, the door opens and they and Holly Blue are standing right there.
- After Holly Blue chastises the Gems for lazing about and tells them to hurry up into their positions to show their gratitude towards Blue Diamond. When she opens the door Sapphire, Ruby and Pearl are seen leaning over where the door was with a hand cupped over their ear.
- Yellow Diamond’s Villain Song is awesome enough on its own, but it reveals one of the lesser-known benefits to owning your own Pearl; they serve as your own personal back-up singers.
- When they’re interrupted by Holly Blue Agate and she starts off with a sycophantic spill of praise, Blue Diamond looks away and Yellow Diamond rolls her eyes. Apparently this Agate’s no more popular with her superiors than her inferiors. Even with the Diamonds demanding deference and respect from their subordinates, Holly Blue’s brownnosing is too much.Yellow Diamond: Get to the point, Agate.
- Holly Blue finally opening her eyes and realizing there are two Diamonds there, and hastily adding "s" to "Diamond" and "radiance".
- When interrogated by Blue Diamond, Sapphire does the Gem equivalent of Bowel-Breaking Bricks — freezing up on the ground.
- After hearing Sapphire's made-up explanation for her visit to Earth and subsequent visit to the Zoo, that she foresaw that Blue Diamond would want more samples from Earth preserved, Blue Diamond eventually concedes that it does sound exactly like her.
- Holly Blue failing to notice Steven and Greg escaping literally right under her nose. When she finally looks and catches them at the last second, Pearl’s mouth is an x.
- Also, what she says right before catching the Crystal Gems.Holly Blue Agate: Two Diamonds, in one day! What an honor! [turns around] I don't think ANYTHING can spoil this for me! [sees the Gems pushing Greg and Steven on board the Roaming Eye]
- Also, what she says right before catching the Crystal Gems.
- Holly Blue Agate finally gets her comeuppance. First the Crystal Gems curb-stomp her, with Amethyst tying her up with her own whip and Garnet knocking her over with her bare hand after threatening her with her gauntlet. Then, when Holly threatens to report them, Pearl shuts her up by pointing out that if she reported a group of rebels breaking in and escaping with a captive under her watch, Holly Blue would be in deep trouble. And on the way out, Pearl tells Holly Blue "That will be all!"
- Steven claps when Pearl says that, mimicking Holly Blue’s and Yellow Diamond’s claps when ordering their subordinates around.
- All the while, the quartzes under her control laugh and cheer on the Crystal Gems instead of helping. Maybe if you weren’t such a Bad Boss, Holly Blue.
- Easy to miss, but when Garnet hits Holly Blue, the latter squeaks. Like a dog toy.
- The final shot we get from inside of the zoo is of all of the Earth Gems smiling and waving goodbye… and in the center of it all, Holly Blue, looking completely defeated. Carnelian is leaning on her in a very condescending manner. The fact that she’s the shortest of the bunch does not help.
- Greg remarks that being abducted by aliens is "the third-craziest weekend I've had." While being abducted and sent to a Human Zoo is definitely crazy, the escape was rather quick, so you just have to wonder what could have happened to Greg that was crazier than what he just went through.
"The New Crystal Gems"
- Connie arrives at Steven's house and realizes she's not alone... turns out Peridot and Lapis are in the bathroom, with Peridot sitting in the toilet, apparently demonstrating her failed attempt to escape that way back in "Catch and Release".Peridot: Don't you knock?
Lapis: Weirdo. - Lapis doesn't recognize Connie, having not seen her since "Ocean Gem" way back in season one.Connie: [miffed] You almost drowned me when you tried to steal all the world's water.
Lapis: I almost drowned a lot of people... - When Lapis asks who Connie is, Peridot replies that she's Steven's third best friend after the two of them.
- Pumpkin surprises Connie by jumping out of the dirty clothes hamper.
- Peridot decides that if they want to help people like the Crystal Gems do, they need to emulate the Crystal Gems. Naturally, she claims the role of Garnet for herself, and spends much of the episode wearing a pair of Cool Shades. Over her visor.
- After assigning the roles of Amethyst and Steven to Lapis and Connie respectively, they realize that they need someone to be Pearl. They flippantly decide to make Pumpkin Pearl, and get her "into character" by putting a cone party hat on her face.
- Peridot announcing "Crystal Gems, congregaaate!" and then clarifying to the others "That means come over here and do a cool pose." Then the others move forward and hesitantly pose with her.
- Before the "Crystal Gems" head to It's a Wash, Peridot cues Connie (playing as Steven) to get in character by making a pun. Connie obliges with, "Well, 'water' we waiting for?"
- When Peridot decides to take on Garnet's role, as she's the best one to be "the boss", Lapis snarks that she is pretty bossy, Peridot takes it as a compliment and thanks Lapis for it.
- Lapis pretending she doesn't remember who Amethyst is.
- "Good job, Pumpkin! Pearl does like soap!"
- Even funnier when you realize that eating soap is something Amethyst would do, not Pearl.
- The second time the Crystal Temps go to the car wash, Lapis briefly decides that she should be "the Garnet". Jennifer Paz's fake British accent is golden.
- Lapis gets into the role really quickly too; when Peridot reminds her that she's supposed to be Amethyst, this is her response:Lapis: There is no Amethyst; only Garnet.
- Lapis gets into the role really quickly too; when Peridot reminds her that she's supposed to be Amethyst, this is her response:
- Connie finally snaps and tells the Crystal Temps to quit pretending to be the Crystal Gems and protect Beach City as themselves. Lapis' response is gold.Lapis: You do make a good Steven.
Connie: Watch it. - Making that sign seems to have taken a lot out of Peridot. It actually sounds like Shelby Rebara ran up and down the hall a few times before recording the lines.
"Storm in the Room"
- The voicemail message Connie gets.Dr. Maheswaran: You've reached Dr. Maheswaran. Please leave a message, and if you're one of my patients you shouldn't have this number. [beep]
- Dr. Maheswaran must be getting used to Steven. She doesn't seem to notice Steven's "Zooman" outfit, except thinking he's back from a trip to the spa. And her reaction to Connie correcting her by saying Steven went to space is a nonplussed "Huh."
- The game Steven plays with the cloud-room version of Rose is Lonely Arms, an arm-wrestling game based on the Lonely Blade movies. Just the sort of oddly-specific spin-off you'd expect from a big franchise.
- Cloud Rose pulling the famous Peanuts football gag on Steven, complete with Peanuts-like music in the background.
- Steven only having Greg's stories and the tape to go on for what Rose talked like leads to her waxing poetic about the beauty of sports.
"Rocknaldo"
- Even when Steven blatantly spells it out, it still takes a minute before Ronaldo realizes that the Crystal Gems and "rock people" are the same thing.
- After Steven corrects his wrong-headed ideas about the "rock people", Ronaldo makes a post on his blog saying that he has to leave and think things over, and he may never return to the Internet... and while Steven is in the middle of reading his post, Ronaldo posts a video.
- Ronaldo, AKA "Bloodstone", shows off his "Gem Weapon"... a cheap prop katana he bought at a convention that can't even cut through a juice box.
- "Bloodstone" growing increasingly erratic from sleep deprivation, like laughing at nothing in particular when Amethyst talks.
- When "Bloodstone" passes out after Steven calls him out for trying to make the Crystal Gems all about him, Amethyst initially thinks that "you truthed him so hard he died."
"Tiger Philanthropist"
- Lars' stubborn insistence that Steven can't be Tiger Millionaire, because Tiger Millionaire is seven feet tall and "ripped". Sadie's incredulous reaction makes it even funnier.
- Amethyst going through all the motions of the opening match while clearly bored out of her skull.
- Lars telling Steven to "Stop taking such a personal interest in my happiness and well-being!"
"Room for Ruby"
- When seeing a shooting star, Steven asks Garnet to close her eyes. A pause passes before he teasingly tells her "All of them," and Garnet complies, "Okay, okay." Note that she was wearing her visor as usual, so Steven knew her well enough to figure she would try to be cute.
- "Is that star... screaming?"
- Followed by a close-up on the "shooting star" as it is indeed screaming right before crashing by the Gems' house.
- Peridot points out another star to wish on: the Sun.
- Navy's reactions to Earth things, and how annoyed Lapis is by them.
- It also gets a bit Hilarious in Hindsight, as she has to put up an act of absolutely adoring every little thing Lapis names. After a couple times, she was probably dreading whatever was coming next.
- "This is our Gem Cave! Lapis hates it when we call it that, so we won't."
- The little fact that Lapis snores. Cue Peridot embarrassing her by imitating said snoring.
- After Navy double-crosses Steven and steals back the Roaming Eye, Lapis can't help but laugh, saying "I was right! No one could be that well-adjusted!"
- At the end, Garnet shows up with two balloons: a red one that says "Welcome to the Party!" and a blue one that says "Sorry for your Loss". Seeing as Navy ended up betraying them, she pops the "Welcome" balloon, saying at least it was worth a shot.
"Lion 4: Alternate Ending"
- Steven over-analyzing and overthinking Rose's video from "Lion 3: Direct to Video", not unlike certain fans who overanalyze the show. Meanwhile, Lion sits behind him, acting like a cat... including facing away from the camera to groom his private parts.
- When Lion coughs up a big pink key, Steven gushes "Magical hairball destiny!" Then Lion coughs up half of some crystal lizard monster and Steven goes "Okay, that's gross."
- Steven tries the key on the locked chest in Lion's mane, even though it's far too big for the lock.
- While pondering where the key could fit, Steven suddenly shouts "The answers were inside me the whole time!" Then he tries sticking the key into the side of his head.
- Steven wheedling Lion to show him where the key fits. "Pleeeeeease?"
"Doug Out"
- When Connie's dad shouts at them over his megaphone, Steven worries he's really in trouble for ordering fry-bits. "All those years of ordering off-menu have finally come back to taunt me!"
- Mr. Maheswaran scolds Onion for deliberately loitering next to a "NO LOITERING" sign.
- "You wanna help ruin some teen's night?" "Always!"
- Doug, Connie, and Steven's whole Mundane Made Awesome shtick.
- Doug repeatedly getting hit in the face with his own flashlight when he tries throwing it at the controls to the Hyper Space ride.
- Connie's reaction the first time her dad throws it at a button to turn off the ride, only for the flash light to come inches too short.Connie: Oh no! The laws of physics!
- Connie's reaction the first time her dad throws it at a button to turn off the ride, only for the flash light to come inches too short.
"The Good Lars"
- After Lars rambles about how anyone could have made the pumpkin cake that Steven gushes over if they had the recipe, Sadie and Steven have this exchange:Sadie: He means thanks.
Steven: I know. I speak Lars. - When Buck invites Lars to the party he and the rest of the Cool Kids are having, Lars responds with the phrase "Bingo bongo!" Immediately after Buck leaves, Lars questions why he said that of all things.
- That the Cool Kids actually think "bingo bongo" is in fact a cool thing to say.
- Sour Cream's expression of excitement at Sadie having brought paper plates — he switches the lights off, throws glowsticks, and switches them back on.
"Are You My Dad?"
- "I'm a distinguished boy, don't I deserve distinguished khakis?"
- Amethyst turns out to be drinking beans, which she claims are "good for the heart".
- Pearl getting excited about the sandcastle she and Garnet built, even though she doesn't know what it's called.Pearl: Amethyst! Steven! Look! We're building a tiny house! For crabs!
Garnet: Welcome to your new home. [puts some crabs on the sandcastle]
Pearl: Aww, they like it! - Onion's missing poster being an old wanted poster of him that his family painted over.
- Steven describes Aquamarine to Connie and Crystal Gems, each one drawing a picture to estimate how she looks judging by his description. Connie's drawing is an amateurish attempt at anime stylization (even sporting cat ears), Amethyst's looks like a dog drawn by a preschool child, Pearl's is highly detailed and looks like a crying ballerina with angel wings, while Garnet... just doodled herself.Steven: Okay, Garnet, you just drew yourself.
Garnet: Uh, I like me.- Amethyst's explanation for why she drew some sort of dog? "I was going for a feeling."
- Most likely unintentional, but Pearl crumpling up her drawing and yells that "this is a waste of time" comes off as her being upset that Steven said Connie's drawing was the closest. She also humblebrags that she "can barely draw a circle" when she shows off her detailed ballerina.
- During the search in the woods:Connie: [dramatically drops from a tree, grabs a dried leaf, crumples it in her hand and lets it blow away] Yup. There's wind.
- Just imagine how many people, male and female, young and old, Aquamarine asked the titular question.
- All the missing people are stuck inside Topaz's body with their lower jaws submerged in it. With their mouths covered they can only mumble for help... except for Onion, who can call for help just fine but that doesn't matter.
"I Am My Mom"
- Jamie gets quite a few laughs in this episode. After Steven finds the captured humans, he shows his concern about his safety.Jamie: Steven, save yourself! [beat] After you save us!
- When Garnet nearly punches Jamie, who's still stuck in Topaz, he defensively shouts "I've moved on, I swear!"
- When Garnet hesitates, Topaz throws her into a building with the words "KNOCK OUT" on it. How appropriate.
- Afterward, Pearl tries to poof Topaz safely using her spear. Aquamarine hits her with her tractor beam and sends her flying, Team Rocket-style, with Pearl letting out a comical yelp as she goes. A few moments later, Pearl drops back into the fight unharmed.
- Aquamarine taunts the Gems before taking off with Steven, and we get beautiful subversion of Talking Is a Free Action from Pearl. She tries stabbing her with her spear before she even finishes.
- Jamie being so overly dramatic that Connie gives him an irritated expression, and Onion rolls his eyes. Even Aquamarine gets annoyed by him.Aquamarine: Will you stop! You're ruining my moment!
- When Steven is about to prep everyone to jump out of the ship after Alexandrite opened the door, before he can even get a word out, Onion immediately jumps and gracefully dives into the water, not waiting on Steven's instructions to run for it.
- Sadie and Connie quickly follow. Jamie however...
Jamie: Steven, I-I seem to be paralysed with fear.Steven: (grabs Jamie and throws him off the ship.)
