Jack and Joel's "guides" to finding skulls and terminals in Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary. Highlights include Cortana and Master Chief bickering over a terminal (with 343 Guilty Spark as referee), Joel failing to obtain a skull after showing multiple failed grenade jumps, and Halo exploding after picking up the last skull.
Let's PlayTrials Evolution. The ending is priceless. For those who haven't seen it, Michael has been screwed over time and time again by people, bailing across the finish. (Not to mention the original Trials is the game that frustrated him enough to start doing Rage Quit). At the end, every person except Michael bails at once and misses the finish line- Michael goes from rage to joy immediately:
Michael: (amidst laughter) Did all of you idiots bail out? All three of you bailed? I won by default.
That's not to say that the rest of it wasn't funny either. During their second game, Gavin finally gets the hang of bailing, taking the win from behind each time, causing Michael to rage. It doesn't help that Michael is usually ahead for the whole race.
(Ray is complaining that Geoff is killing everyone with grenades)
Geoff: Sorry dude, I have a good arm. What do you want? (Immediately throws a grenade Caboose-style into the wall he's hiding behind.) AAH! AAAH, FUCK, BLEW MYSELF UP.
In the Skyrim Olympics, Gavin and Michael both do okay in the archery. Ray, on the other had, misses the board entirely. Twice. He then takes his bad aiming further when he throws his shotput cabbage into a random corner. Thankfully for him, he made up for it with his second shot.
The ending, showing the Twilight Sparkle-themed armored player getting beheaded, elicits a Big "NO!" for Ray and Michael. Michael storms off to demand why Ryan put that there, while Ray notes how interesting it looked.
The playthrough of Terrorist Town leads to quite a few, considering how everybody is struck by Paranoia Fuel... or just offing somebody innocent to be a troll.
Ryan shoots Ray for having the same gun as the killer. He's completely innocent and Ray is left speechless. Even better, Michael is the traitor and outplays everybody.
"Shadles." A random player named "Shadowlz" was the traitor one round and actually hanged Ray's dead body, to all the AH guys' astonishment. He then proceeded to kill everyone in turn and win the round. The guys corrupted his name to "Shadles" and he's received shout outs in other Let's Plays since then.
Trouble in Terrorist Town part 2: the guys discover that, after being killed, you can possess inanimate objects. Hilarity Ensues, including a part where a bunch of them decide to possess the various rides in a playground.
Jack: Wheeeeee! I'm a tire swing! Wheeeeee!
In one match, Jack writes out his name using a crowbar. Kerry comes along and adds to it, turning it into FUCK JACK.
And then, in the final match, Ray spends most of his time on a roof, sniping those he thinks are traitors. At the end, he's the only one left alive, aside from one more traitor, so he goes looking for the traitor...
Gavin hauling ass to get to a Banshee. Only to have it run him over. Michael had already gotten in the cockpit.
Gavin using the Thruster Pack to dodge Ray's attempts at killing him during a point-blank firefight. Moving in for an opportunity to melee, Gavin then uses it towards Ray, only to die via getting bashed on the head with Ray's gun.
Ray's ridiculous mannerisms when he skillfully slips out of being flanked by Michael and Gavin:
Ray: *sees Gavin heading towards him while he's fighting Michael* Oh, not going to win this fight *hides in tunnel* HOLOGRAM *Michael is fooled and then distracted by Gavin* HAHA! Run away!!!
Michael: I am killing Gavin first because he's easier.
This Is: Lego Lord of the Rings. As Michael and Fragger discuss the game, Gavin is trying his best to annoy Michael. Halfway through the video, Gavin begins screaming as Michael attacks him. Michael returns a short time later with "Sorry, had a phone call."
The Hidden: Source Let's Play. It's practically another "Trouble in Terrorist Town" scenario.
Everyone is picked off until only Jack remains. Then he starts freaking out and shooting everything
Jack: Oh, I think I just hit something!
Ray: You hit a lot of things.
Geoff's attempts to both trying to help the other guys find the Hidden/create more paranoia
Geoff: No, he's over by the box! A box moved upstairs!
Ray: *looks around the room full of crates* A box huh...
Ray's constant use of the "Do you even lift" picture is pretty funny. The funniest time, however, is when Ray goes to put down the picture and immediately gets killed by the Hidden. Or when he stops and is killed just to spray it. Even better is how the Youtube video the picture came from was flooded by so many comments regarding the Let's Play the owner disabled comments.
Gavin: "Ray, when are we going to meet Mrs. Narvaez, Jr." Michael: "We already met-that doesn't make sense." Geoff: "I didn't get to meet her. He waited for when you and I weren't in the office." Ray: "I didn't want her to come in and get spit roasted." Michael: "Jack was here but he had no wingman." Geoff: "Hahahahahaha...Can you imagine-" Ray: "Nope. Whatever you are going to say, I cannot imagine." Geoff: "PAPPY JACK!!!!"
Ray does his best, as always. Unfortunately, his teammate's best isn't really all that helpful. What makes this so funny is the fact that Ray is normally The Stoic, so watching him Freak Out at his teammates is extremely entertaining.
Ray: "Gavin, I swear to fucking Christ. I swear to Christ, Gavin. PLEASE, stay up!" (two seconds later, Gavin dies again) "GAVIN, COME ON!"
Michael fires his assault rifle at the windowpane in an attempt to shoot Ray. He uses up a whole clip before realizing it didn't work.
Gavin discovering the joy of using a Mantis.
And then jokes about how he's compensating
One east-to-miss was when Geoff discovered "Kryptonite". He was so fascinated that he completely missed the fact that someone was trying to snipe him. He backed up and was circling the rock so that the shots kept missing and the sniper actually gave up. And no one noticed or commented.
When Jack tries to splatter Geoff at one point, he only pushes him to a wall, where Geoff hijacks his Ghost. Both of them are utterly confused, with Geoff cracking up.
Things to Do In Halo 4 - Growth Spurt. That is all.
Throughout the first while of part 2 of Death Craft II (a Left 4 Dead 2 mod), Ray's audio wasn't working, so the guys added in subtitles with "more or less what he rsaid". Usually these are accurate, but sometimes they add in a Catch Phrase or Running Gag of Ray's, even if he didn't actually say it, such as "Gavin smeels", "Parkour", or "Roses!"
The beginning of Part 2 of Death Craft II is hilarious Ryan debuts his spray which is Geoff's picture of Jack and Gavin's picture of Ray put together with the "Do You Even Lift" meme. Michael and Jack show off their sprays of wet pieces of bread which causes Gavin to gag before he actually leaves to vomit.
Geoff: Who would've thought Gavin's Achilles' Heel would be wet bread.
Also in the same part Michael and Jack keep using their sprays of bread and Gavin keeps running into them as well as Ray's spray of Dan The Man which leads to this.
Gavin: Everywhere I go it's wet bread, wet bread and Dan!
Ray: Are you comparing Dan to wet bread.
Finally, the boat taking them to rescue appears. Ray manages to get aboard and ends with this classic line.
Ray: DAN THE MAN LIVES TO TELL THE TALE!!
Ray tries to channel Mogar on Ryan. It doesn't go well.
Gavin: I just punched what looked like Gyarados in the face. *gets obliterated by Baron Nashor*
Let's Play Dead Space 3 demo: At one point, Jack and Michael have to fight monsters in a room containing a giant spinning drill. While blasting monsters, Jack runs directly into the drill and gets shredded.
Let's Play Hawken: Michael accidentally pulls out a map in the middle of a fight, and Kerry comes back with a great one-liner:
Michael: Oh, I opened my map! NO! SHIT!
Ryan: There's a map?
Michael: I opened, like, a, uh, a HUD screen in the middle of the fight. (explodes)
Kerry: At least you know where you died. (everyone laughs)
Michael: Oh, some random dude fucked me up. Goddammit.
Geoff: That's funny, Kerry. That could go on a shirt.
Kerry: Thank you.
Ray's attempt to hide and heal. Kerry finds him immediately (though accidentally). His tone is just hilarious (at 30:35)
In many of the early ones, Jack had a habit of lifting up Gavin and dumping him in the corner of the room.
Let's Play Chivalry: Medieval Warfare.
Their names. Ray's especially, as he constantly refers to himself as the "Grand Poobah of Penis."
Michael distracts Gavin, who's aiming his bow at him. Jack sneaks up behind Gavin and kills him.
Michael discovering that he can chop off other players' arms... and heads.
Michael decapitating a corpse, and later, Geoff de-legging another body.
In team play, Jack kills Ray twice without realizing it, until first Michael then Ray points it out.
Three of the AH guys kill an enemy at once, leaving a bloody torso on a bench.
Game Night: Halo 4: Flood (in Deep Space). Michael spends the entire video keeping Gavin from saying his Catch Phrase "What is Game Night?"... by wrestling him to the floor and holding his hand over his mouth. Geoff is laughing too hard to do commentary.
Gavin is trying to figure out how to make his character dance. Ray tells him to "press Enter and type '/dance'." Gavin types "slash dance."
Gavin forgets to turn in a quest to get a new one. He nearly completes the next quest before realizing he never actually got it, so he has to walk across the map, turn in the last quest, and redo the first one. With Jack's guidance.
Let's Play Moonbase Alpha is hilarious mostly cause of the Microsoft Sam like voice that reads out the comments.
Voice: (in Monotone) It's not gay if it's on the moon.
The ending is the most hilarious part of the let's play it consists of the guys typing in a single letter repeatedly as the voice reads them all at the same time.
With only three enemies to go (Juggernaut, Mystique disguised as Magneto, and Magneto), Jack has 249 kills and needs one more to get an achievement. Of the other guys, Michael is the most encouraging towards Jack and hopeful that he'll get it. Guess who gets all three kills...
Gavin is The Load of the game. The second-lowest score is approximately 170 kills; Gavin ends with fifteen.
Gavin: Spike attack!
Let's Play New Super Mario Bros U Part 2:
When Nabbit steals Toads stuff from the Mushroom House, Jack has a very interesting take on Toads' reaction.
At the very beginning, Ray crumples up his script when he realizes that he doesn't actually have any lines. For the rest of the video he just stands there giving confused reactions to Gavin and Michael's "performance", while occasionally messing with their scripts.
Let's Play Survivors Beta 3 (basically a Slender rip-off) has Michael's constant dying. In one round, Michael dies about 30 seconds in. At the end, they have found 10 of the 11 "lists" and are looking for the last one... only for Michael to die, without warning, inexplicably, 10 seconds before Ryan finds the final list and the game ends. And he was the only one to die.
At one point, Gavin was the only one left alive. He remains the only one alive...for almost four minutes. The others (who can sometimes see the creature on their screens after they die) have no idea why he hasn't died a hundred times over as he's attacked at least 10 times. When he finally does die, he's not even ripped apart.
And the really terrifying thing is that Joel (Caboose) is the most experienced with the game.
Things To Do In Red Dead Redemption: King of the Mountain is a King of the Hill-style game, where the guys gather at the highest point of the map and try to punch each other off the mountain. But the hilarity starts before they even begin: While Gavin tries to reach Michael at the waypoint, he falls down the mountain and dies twice.
Later, when Geoff, Michael, and Ryan are trying to make their way up the steep cliff path, Gavin starts shooting them from the top. However, he falls off and dies, his body sliding down the path past everyone.
In revenge, Ryan later shoots Gavin dead while he is trying to climb the mountain.
After Geoff finds a high peak with an incredibly sheer drop, Michael agrees before chucking throwing knives from that point. About 30 seconds later, he steps straight off the mountain and dies.
In response, Michael predicts that Gavin will fall off the cliff before he makes it back up the mountain. His prediction is proven correct.
Before their third round, Michael jumps off a short drop near the KOTM peak. His character grabs his head and stumbles around... right off the cliff, something Geoff's character had almost done earlier.
Just before that round starts, Ryan sticks a throwing knife in Gavin's hand. Everyone comments that Gavin is now Wolverine.
Before the round begins, everyone grabbing a horse. Gavin can't find one and is forced to ride a donkey, leading him to ask "Why do I have to be the one riding an ass?"
The first round begins and the first to fall is Gavin, thanks to Ray killing his donkey and Michael stepping on Gavin's head.
The first round ends with Ray and Jack mutual killing their horses, followed by Jack winning.
Trials Evolution - Achievement PIG #64 has the entire video of Jack and Geoff talking about Jack's experiences in Canada without talking once about the game. Seeing as Jack won handily, it's not a surprise.
In the Let's Play for Fuel, the gang orders pizza and realize that they don't want to stop to go get the pizza to have. So, they get Lindsay to get it. Then, when they find out she put it in the kitchen, the gang has to decide whose going to fetch the pizza before everyone else steals it away. Thus, Ray makes the sacrifice and grabs the pizza. Then, he opts to go get everyone drinks and napkins and, while he's gone, they quickly turn his car around to face the other direction to confuse him.
If anyone had seen the end of the almost two-hour long Let's Play, then they'll know about who won Geoff's present for completing the drive first. Michael won a picture of Geoff to put on his desk.
At around 40 minutes, there's a discussion on barrels where Ryan snarks off to Gavin.
Gavin: Imagine a barrel, Ryan. And that's what you're looking for.
Ryan: "Imagine a barrel", alright. Let me think reeeaally hard.
Gavin: What's the most impressive barrel you've ever imagined?
Ryan: I can't say I've ever imagined a barrel.
Gavin: You've never thought about a barrel in your head? You've only ever seen them and not thought about them?
Ryan: In what frame of reference would I be in that all of a sudden I thought, "I need to picture a barrel RIGHT now."
Gavin: Yeah I mean, there must've been a time where you were thinking about a barrel, but you couldn't see a barrel.
Ryan: No, there must not have been a time where I was thinking about a barrel. I never put anybody in a barrel, I never stored anything in a barrel, why would I have a barrel? Until we had this conversation, I think this is the most times I've ever said the word "barrel".
Around an hour and a half in, Jack starts talking about his trip to Mianus, Connecticut, which slowly devolves into Jack and Gavin making puns revolving around the name. Then after Geoff tells them to stop, Ray starts adding "In Mianus?" after every comment.
Near the beginning (8:50), the gang tries to figure out how they're gonna format the Let's Play - either in multiple parts or in one long video. Geoff, then, declares that it will be one long video, prompting a cutaway to one of the video editors, who flips off the camera with the caption "FUCK YOU" in big bold green letters.
Later on (1:23:55), Jack mentions that they should make sure the editors have no means of hurting themselves with. Cut to the previous editor giving another a knife... then a gun... then a crossbow.
At one point, Gavin is so into the game, we cut to show Ryan balancing objects on Gavin's head, ending it with a can of Diet Coke. He balances it.
During the fourth wave, Gavin reveals that they can enter the house and decide to barricade themselves in there. However, when Gavin opens the door, he completely misses the doorframe, thus jumping into the wall.
A few moments later, Ryan throws some dynamite into the doorway way too close, knocking him and Geoff down and taking out Michael.
While they're waiting to start the next game, Gavin and Michael start punching it out. Michael's caught off guard as Gavin's character leaps into the air.
As they start the final round, the gang muses what Jack and Ray were doing. At first they surmise that they were giving each other handjobs. Geoff corrects it by saying that Jack was giving Ray a handjob while Ray was just playing video games.
At the end, It's down to Michael in Sudden Death. As he's running to keep the horde away from him, Gavin tells him "Keep running - soon, enough time'll pass and it'll be GTA, then you can get a car."
Every time Gavin does a Five Facts. Most notable is the Deus Ex: Human Revolution, a game which Gavin never played.
They had to do the intro three times because Gavin keeps yelling "CLOSE THE DOOR"
Ryan: When you're trying to think of hard math, was "long division" really the hardest math you could come up with?
Let's Play: Cloudberry Kingdom. While Ray and Geoff are gone, you'd think it would be fairly peaceful. However, the crazy platformer easily creates chaotic hilarity with menacing lasers, spike walls, etc. Michael varies from being a screaming lunatic to being the only one left alive.
Level 19 - The level just started and everyone but Michael manages to kill themselves by slamming into various spike balls. Michael is left speechless.
Every time there is a spike wall.
Everyone teasing Jack's avatar.
The levels with the pogo stick or the bouncing table
Gavin playing around with the menu while Ryan is trying to survive the level.
The name kinda says it all. The AH gang trying to beat a bear to death with their bare hands. The group runs through the snowy forest after every bear they find like a bunch of madmen until they come to the realization halfway through the episode that it is, in fact, impossible to punch a bear to death. They then spend the remainder of the episode derping around the world farming XP.
Just the sight of six angry cowboys hauling ass after a grizzly trying to beat it to death. The entire crew continuously lampshades the absurdity of it.
While the rest of the group fight bandits after giving up on the bear, Gavin instead leaves the group on the back of his donkey, Merthin. Periodically, the episode will cut from the action with the main group to Gavin and Merthin trotting leisurely and serenely along a road, a cliff, and eventually a railroad track. At least, until the two fall off a bridge and drown.
Lets Play Splinter Cell Blacklist: Jack (Merc) is hunting Michael (Spy) when Geoff tells him that he's behind him. However, after turning around, he is then repeatedly told "Behind you!" no matter which direction he faces. Jack freaks out at this and starts spinning around, firing wildly in every direction, allowing Michael to run in for an easy kill, to Geoff's exasperation.
Even better, the other person shouting "Behind you!" at Jack was Michaelhimself!
They can model their characters' faces after themselves. It's a strange combination of Uncanny Valley and unstoppable hilarity.
When Gavin accidentally kills Ray, Ray goes "What enemy looks like M Bison!?"
There was a guard hiding behind a car. Ray tries to take him down, but doesn't find success, while Jack was already killed elsewhere. Jack then goes "Gavin will find him." Gavin dies immediately.
Ray tries to climb a rope upside down. "They'll never find me here!" Cue guard immediately popping in. "Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit!"
Gavin pulling a Caboose and throwing a grenade directly into the wall in front of him. As Jack watches, he turns and tries to run away from it, but blows up anyway, complete with his character's face having a smile and throwing up his arms in a "Wasn't my fault" way. Jack laughs for about two minutes straight, unable to explain why he's laughing so hard because he's laughing so hard.
At one point, at the start of a match, Jack spots a couple enemies in a nearby room, so he takes cover and lobs a grenade at them. Gavin promptly charges into the room, ignoring Jack's frantic cries of "GAVIN!!", and gets blown up.
Jack: You ran into the room and stood on top of it.
Gavin as "The Dandy" is absolutely hilarious, especially whenever he or someone else says "The Daaaandy!" in a mock British accent.
The fact that Gavin, who's actually British, adopts an even more British-sounding accent when he says "The Daaaandy!" is a moment in and of itself.
In the third round of the second part, Geoff claims the Dandy before Gavin can. "Someone out-Dandied me!"
Gavin spends a lot of the second part on the roof. This either allows him to swoop down from above, or causes him to get stabbed from behind unexpectedly.
Ryan's reaction at one point to Gavin killing him:
Ryan: Why would you do that?! You got blood on your cuffs! The lace is ruined!
At one point, two people get caught between the doors throughout the map, freaking out for several seconds until they open again.
Gavin starts off the third round in the second part by finding a fiddler and dancing to the music. This allows Ryan to easily find and kill him.
RT Noire: Joel sets audio of him trying to find out where his stapler went to video of La Noire, with Jack as the primary suspect.
The gang plays Call of Duty: Ghosts in order to try out the Onslaught map pack. One of the maps they play on has a little tram that goes around the map, which several of them get on. Jack's turn on it is particularly gold.
Jack: (guns down one of the others while he's on the train) Choo choo, motherfucker!
Let's Play - Mario Kart 8. Ryan's completely incompetent at Mario Kart.
Ryan: *referring to his car* It, uh, doesn't turn very well.
Ashley: Well that's because you're Metal Mario. Metal Mario is heavy.
Ryan: Why didn't anyone tell me that?!
Ashley: You picked him because he looked cool.
Ryan: He was shiny...
"Let's Play Speed Runners". The use of the CLAW.
In one of the rounds, Ray grimly predicts that he's going to get fucked by the spikes. The round is then over immediately because everyone BUT Ray managed to impale themselves. They all break out laughing and mutters about the "classic Ray move"
"Lets Play Prop Hunt Part 1" overall is hilarious but a few moments stand out.
The Gents' choices of usernames: An Innocuous Barrel/Ryan, NotaBarrel/Jack and I'm not a toilet/Geoff
Ray enters the laundry room on the first map and accidentally turns into a washing machine, getting stuck in the doorway. The Gents find him wedged with his back to them, shoot him a bit... then leave.
Gavin as a banana.
Gavin: "Banana on the run!!"
Ray's in-game text taunts.
Ray: (disguised as a milk bottle) Got milk?
Ray: (disguised as a milk bottle) Moooooooooo!
Ray: (disguised as a computer tower) Ryan the PC guy. Can't even find me.
Jack finds Michael wedged in a wall as a bookcase and is not convinced he's a prop even when shooting the original prop takes him down to 10 health. His efforts to crowbar Michael to death lead to him getting stuck:
Jack: "Well I'm stuck in this thing now..."
Ryan: (in an offhand manner) "Sucks to be you..."
Jack: "Ryan, we're on the same damn team!"
Geoff's efforts to disguise as a prop in the Gents' second turn at it somehow launching a desk across the room as he tries to grab the (small) prop he's after.
Everyone trying to remember the name of the oddly-named drink Gavin mentioned in Let's Build Mega Tower Part 2.
Geoff: "You going to get a... Sport, or a Sprou— what was that fuckin' drink Gavin was talking about the other day?"
Geoff: "S-s— Twip?"
Gavin: "Yeah, I'll have a lovely swig of 'Twip'."
Jack: "Lint? What was it?"
Gavin: (sing-song) "Liiilt!"
Ray: "What the hell's 'Lilt'?"
Jack: "Lilt's the diet version of WONK."note In Let's Build Mega Tower Part 2, Gavin was accused of just making the name "Lilt" up. When he tried to reference the way "Lilt" is sung in the commercials to back himself up, the others made fun of the idea that pronouncing something a different way would make the word mean something completely different. Jack promptly asked Geoff if he remembered, way back in their childhood, when they would drink WONK.
Ryan's panicked prop changing as he runs from Gavin: from a locker, to a chair, to a drinks machine, to an armchair...
At one point the Lads give chase to a fleeing water bottle. Only problem is none of the Gents are a water bottle... The Lads don't believe it though.
The crates in the kitchen of one map seem to have a tendancy to explode upwards when they're even barely touched by any player even dead ones.
Gavin sacrifices himself to grenade Ryan. It's so funny Jack doesn't even notice when Ray finds and kills him.
Michael with a rocket launcher. Nuff said.
"Lets Play - The Forest"
During the opening cutscene the airplane Ryan's character and the character's child are riding starts to plummet from the air. Ryan's reaction to the child? "You're not wearing your seatbelt!"
While getting his bearings, Ryan sees the headless shadow of his avatar.
Ryan: "Uhh, guys? I don't think I survived the crash!"
Ryan's first approach of the natives with a tennis ball.
Ryan: "Sports fans?" (throws the ball at them, they begin to run towards him) "Not sports fans!" (turns and runs)
"Lets Play - The Forest Part 2"
While exploring the beach they find a dead and naked human body. Ryan decides to give it a little 'tap' with the fireaxe.
Ryan: (raising the axe) "So can I...?"
(he hits the body, it explodes)
Ray: "My god!"
Geoff: "Gross! Jesus!"
Then Ryan picks up half a leg and freaks out even more.
While sitting by the fire and examining his avatar-hand, a wild bird comes and lands on it. It then glitches out and CONSTANTLY keeps coming and 'landing' there before flying off for the rest of the video. Eventually they nickname it Claurice/Gavin.
"Let's Play- The Stomping Land"
When they all finally manage to come together in one place a dinosaur attacks their camp. Ray tries to revive someone on the ground and instead discovers that it's possible to tie the legs of another player and drag them around behind you.
Near the end, somehow, other people join their game. Geoff and Lindsay get kidnapped.
The best part is the resulting banter. The players react with dismay when they realize no one is coming to save them.
OneEye: No friends? Is anyone going to save you?
Michael: You can have him.
"Let's Play - The Incredible Adventures of Van Helsing II"
The Hungarian alcohol having such a horrible taste that Geoff turns red, Gavin can't stop coughing, Jack looks pretty sick after drinking it and Michael basically doesn't react at all.
"Let's Play - Transformers: Rise of the Dark Spark"
Jack almost immediately works out how to transform to vehicle mode and jumps Geoff and Gavin in car-form. Then Gavin transforms too and they do a few jump stunts just before the first enemy wave.
A classic Gavin line:
Gavin: (shooting an enemy) "Oh! Bloody car came out of nowhere... what's the speed limit in this room?"
The team name "Team Congress" is decided upon for the team-up of Geoff, Jack and Gavin. This leads to a brief discussion of 'the old days' when they worked together and Gavin reveals that there's a Vimeo video out there somewhere of Geoff with 50 pieces of gum in his mouth.
Gavin is downed and Jack drives over there in car-form to revive him.
Jack: "Here I'll heal you, uber!"
Gavin: (makes what only can be described as a 'delighted Gavin noise')
Gavin activates flame jets, wonders why they don't seem to be responding then yells when they turn on directly behind him all of a sudden.
Gavin reflects that this Let's Play is what it'd be like if AH had never hired anyone else, then turns to see a large enemy transformer behind him and screams.
"Let's Play - Seven Days To Die"
Jack is the first to run into zombies and a dog zombie is the first to attack. When the zombie dog attacks, Jack questions if the dog is punching back.
Jack and Ryan are the first to meet up and they get to see what they look like. Jack promptly punches Ryan in the face.
Jack and corn. Seriously, he just enjoys it.
After getting their house, they proceed to tear a chunk of the floor out and Gavin hops in with a shovel and starts digging. When he digs plenty far down, they realize they can't get him back out. Ryan comments that he looks like "baby Jessica down that well."
Michael: Ray is, in fact, the only ten that he sees. note It's a cheesy pickup line gag that Ray had been using throughout the game whenever a player landed on his Tennessee Avenue.
Speaking of the running gag, the gag is especially hilariously used when Gavin only has $10 left and lands on Ray's Tennessee Avenue.
Ray: "Gavin may need to mortgage his property now."
Ray: (as Gavin lands on the Tennessee Avenue) "Because you're the only ten I see."
Gavin going insane when Geoff (who has the most money) keeps skipping over Park Place and Boardwalk by landing directly on Go. He does this three times in a row.
Thanks to landing on one of Geoff's hotel spaces and one of Ray's spaces, Gavin has no money. Thus when Michael lands on Community Chest and Gavin has to pay him $10, he has to sell his last remaining house (all of his others were sold just to pay Geoff) just to pay Michael. The $10 is to get Michael a Birthday present. Cue to Gavin groaning about having to sell a house to buy a stupid gift.
Geoff gets lucky when he buys 3 hotels and get an Achievement for it. Then he rolls three doubles in a row and gets another Achievement... and goes directly to jail for it.
Ray lands on the last unowned space on the board (Pennsylvania Railroad), and accidentally goes into auction. He still gets his property, but the guys tease him for having to pay $75 extra for the property he wanted anyway.
The fact that as the game drags on, everyone grows more and more tired of it. Ray and Gavin are legitimately happy they went bankrupt, with Geoff and Michael becoming increasingly exasperated as the game drags on between them.
Gavin's attempts at trading. In Part 1, he had traded all of his properties to Ray just to get Boardwalk and own the blue set. However, with Geoff building up houses on the pink set, and Gavin owning no other properties, he loses money fast. He tries to trade Park Place and Boardwalk (and $10) to Geoff for $500, and Geoff declines. Then he does the same for Michael... who accepts, leaving Gavin with a single property (Connecticut Avenue).
Gavin then tries to repeatedly trade cash for cash, which the game won't allow.
With everyone begging the game to end already as it continues to drag on, the instant Gavin files for bankruptcy, he leaps up from his chair and runs away from the microphone without hesitation.
Ray's pestering for Baltic Avenue (which Geoff owns, to complete the purple/brown set) turns into both a Brick JokeandChekhov's Boomerang at the end of the game, when Geoff and Michael are the final two players left. Despite the extraordinarily long game, Michael has been trying to stay alive as long as possible, only mortgaging Park Place and Boardwalk when he desperately needs to. Geoff realizes that he never got around to trading Baltic Avenue to Ray, and since Ray's properties reverted to Geoff when the former went bankrupt, Geoff now owns the set. He decides to put a full set of hotels on them, which is what Ray had wanted to do. On Michael's very next turn, he lands on (you guessed it) Baltic Avenue, and goes bankrupt.
Geoff, Michael, and Ray sit down and play Wheel of Fortune. Most of the video is Geoff alternating between laughing and groaning at the ineptitude of the other two.
During the $2000 Toss Up, Michael jumps the gun and accidentally chooses to solve the puzzle when only the first letter ("A") is shown. After a moment of deliberation, he enters his answer: ANALBEADSYUMM.
Michael: The game said "A" and I hit "A"...things escalated too quickly.
Geoff, Michael, and Ray then go on to play Jeopardy!. At one point, the question shows a picture of a panda eating "its favourite food", and the point is to guess what its favourite food is...
Ray: "I got this! I got this! EUCALYPTUS!"
The best part is that Ray honestly did not know the answer was "bamboo".
During Final Jeopardy, Ray has a complete meltdown when the clue is revealed.
Alex Trebek: The genus of this Asian animal is Ailuropoda, and its species name, appropriately, is Melanoleuca.
Ray: "FUCK! I don't even...like, that's not a word, right? Like...there's two fake words in there!"
"Let's Play Family Feud". Geoff and Michael vs X-Ray and Vav.
The first round asks for types of beans that would go in a salad. On one of Ray's turns, he runs out of ideas and types in "Rowan atkinson".
During the final round of the second game, the survey asks for things that pregnant women have trouble doing. Ray buzzes in first and tries to input "standing" but none of the pre-made answer match, so he hurriedly changes his answer to "walking". However, he picks "waking" on accident. Cue epic freak-out when "waking" ends up being the number two answer on the board (as "Getting Up").
Michael: "YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!"
One of the surveys is "Most men think that you should never interrupt a woman doing this." Gavin, ignoring Ray (who says "Talking on the phone") first tries "Cooking", but then switches his answer to "Reading" as Michael and Ray scream at him to put in "On the phone". Gavin inputs the answer anyway, and it comes out as number seven on the board. Ray's reaction:
During the second game it takes a while for them to figure out the mini-game.
No one except Geoff is 100% sure what they're doing.
Ray's turning the crank even when there's no one under the trap just so he can yell "Mousetrap!" because the adverts said that's what you need to do.
When Ryan lands on the crank and turns it with everyone else inside the trap, finally winning the game, Ray shouts "Mousetrap!" gleefully and is quickly joined by the Gents this time.
"Let's Play Family Game Night 3: Game of Life":
When Ryan lands on the "Get Married" space, he immediately tells his wife (assuming that she's watching this) that his virtual spouse means nothing to him.
When Jack Lands on the "Get Married" some random guy is kissing his wife.
Just like how Ray's weakness seams to be trivia (a la Jeopardy!), Ryan's weakness is the Concentration mini-game. Ray continuously snarks and pointing out all his wrong moves as he's playing. In the end, Ryan is only able to get two matches right!
The entire episode could be called "Ryan #StartTheBullying2014". After his Mouse Trap victory, Ryan has a target on his back, having to pay others' debts, being sued constantly, and having all his LIFE tiles stolen by Jack and Geoff.
Geoff starts with the doctor career choice, which is one of the better ones in the game. He then loses it on a pink-slip tile. When given the chance he returns to college to repick a better career, and ends up with doctor again. Only to lose it AGAIN. The others make fun of him calling him the worst doctor ever and wondering how many people he killed to lose his doctorate twice.
"Let's Play MLB 2K12" is a 30-minute CMOF. Gavin, the Brit, knows nothing about baseball and nothing about the game's controls, and his deadpan mangling of the entire game, including the player's names, is so laugh-inducing that it results in Geoff shitting his pants in the middle of the game. Highlights include:
Gavin always throwing the ball to home base - and no other base. (This was caused by not knowing the correct controls and Geoff refusing to tell him the right ones; Gavin lampshades this at one point.)
Geoff's... "unorthodox" method of stealing bases. Namely, to run before the pitcher has even started his windup. Because Gavin only throws to home plate, he always succeeds.
Gavin's interpretations of the baseball field. These include asking what the bases (the "bags," as stated by Geoff) are filled with, the "staple" (the coach's box), and "Home Base" being a British patio furniture store.
The entire sequence leading up to Geoff shitting his pants. Geoff has asked Gavin to stop making him laugh for exactly that reason, and when the moment comes and Geoff has to leave the room, Michael comes in laughing like a madman.
Gavin: Would that be the first time that someone's ever left a commentary to go and, uh, sort out the fact that they pooed their pants?
Michael: Not the first time in anything I've ever been in, but I think Achievement Hunter first.
Let's Play Madden 2013. Considering how Gavin doesn't know anything about American football, it goes as well as expected. It's filled with hilarity from Gavin being kicked out of the game to "Nice hair, douchebag".
"Why is there a guy wearing an upside down traffic cone?"
"What's a play?"
"Run to the touchdown."
One of the CPU players randomly tripping over his teammate.
"How do I play as Trey Wingo?"
When Gavin first heard of J.J. Watt: "J.J. what?"
When Ben Roethlisberger's name came up, it was spelled as B. Roethlisberger (as is customary ala the Last Name Basis principle). Gavin saw that and said "Bro-th lis-leh burger."
When Gavin couldn't figure out how to punt the ball, Geoff called timeout two seconds before the play-clock ran out. Yeah, you read that right. "I had to call a fuckin' timeout for you!!"
Some guy with long hair drinks Gatorade. Gavin is not impressed: "Nice hair, douchebag."
Better yet: that guy was Troy Polamalu.
To be clear, Gavin got kicked from the game for going offsides 3 times... on the first 3 plays. And he didn't simply jump the snap; he was running all around the field like... well, Gavin.
Those first three plays really must be seen to be believed. Watch as he runs ten yards past scrimmage, loops around behind the quarterback, and almost manages to get behind the line again on the other side, all before the ball is snapped.
When Geoff said it would be a miracle for Gavin to survive the first quarter without getting kicked from the game, Ray quipped with "First quarter? How about the first fuckin' possession?"
Ray's opening kickoff return: fumbles the ball at the three, but recovers it, then backpedals into the his own end zone, allowing the AI to score a safety on him. And then he recovers his own safety kickoff, giving him and Ryan the ball back and frustrating the opposing team of Gavin and Geoff.
The final play of the half. Ryan hits a wide-open receiver in the open field. He's running for a touchdown when Ray takes over, and runs him out of bounds after time had expired.
"Let's Play Madden 2013: Super Bowl Special":
Geoff throwin' out one of his colorful battle taunts. "I just shoved my football up your dick!"
Gavin. From not knowing what a running play is to calling out his plays out loud... just... Gavin.
Ray repeating his kickoff returning gaffe from the first Madden LP - with the same result.
Even better: Ray moved slightly away from where the ball was going to go, so he had to jump towards his end zone to gain possession. By the time he got up, eight Niners had already made it to the Ravens' end zone; the Niners got two extra points on the safety.
When #84 Randy Moss (who's 37) scored a touchdown, Ray said "That's not actually his jersey number, that's his age."
Gavin struggling to say the correct terms for American Football.
Gavin: How do I play, uhh, how do I do playing... was it, running, what?
Two footballers randomly glitching out at the end of a play. A 49er was thrown to the ground by a Raven, who fell on top of him in a position that looked like they were pulling off the 69 (yeah, that 69). It didn't help that the Raven was bobbing his head erratically the entire time.
When Gavin misheard one of Geoff's battle cries.
Geoff: "Look at that juke!"note spin-move
Gavin: "You can't just yell 'Look at that Jew'."
Michael and Ryan: "JUKE!"
At the end of the first half, Team Lads (Gavin, Michael, and Ray as the Baltimore Ray-vens) has 2 seconds to try a Hail Mary. Gavin takes a knee.note For those unaware, in American Football, "Take a knee" means kneeling down to run out the clock once you get the ball.
Ray: "I'm gonna tell you right now, he's gonna take a knee."
Gavin: "Who's - what?"
(Gavin takes a knee, exactly as Ray thought.)
Gavin: "What happened?"
Michael: "What did he just pick?"
Ray: "He picked Take A Knee."
Michael: "We have two seconds to score in the half. TAKE A KNEEE!"
Gavin: "What's that knee? What are you on about? What is everyone talking about?! I'm the captain, all right!?"
This turns into a Brick Joke at the very end of the game:
Ray: "Gavin, pick - remember that knee play you picked before?"
Michael: "Remember that knee play that fucked us at the end of the second half?note He meant either "first half" or "second quarter." Do that again."
Of course, this being Gavin, he manages to call a pass play. It works anyway.
The crew making fun of Manti Te'o (who's not in either of those teams, by the way)
Jack: "Which is the one with the fake internet girlfriend?"
Michael (who's on the opposing team): "You're fired."
Gavin running out of position and through the 49ers' perimeter, before the play even began.
Ray: "Goddammit, Gavin!"
Geoff: "What the fuck?"
Gavin: "Uh, I made a mistake!"
Michael: "Please be ejected from the game."
When the footballers form a line and stare each other down, Gavin had a guy that lifted his arm out like he's ready to pounce on his opponent. Gavin notices it, moves him to the side and says "I'm like a crab!"
Ray making fun of the Gatorade-drinking guy, except with a twist.
"Let's PlayWWE '13" might be one of their funniest Let's Plays yet. Special mention goes out to the intros; as each chose to create their own wrestler. Each person, though, has something of their own to contribute.
Gavin: The fact that his character is a green alien with broccoli hair, white briefs, a horn on his nose and Rhino ears. His name is Player, and he turns red when he gets mad. He, like Ray, is pretty bad at the game.
Ray insists his character (a sombrero wearing luchador) is his father, Papa Brownman and whenever he starts getting hurt, he starts yelling "DADDY!" He also has a Running Gag that he tries to jump from the top rope and always fails.
Ryan: Ryan's character wears a Gorilla suit to the ring and has a ridiculous moustache and goatee. Also, his backstabbing gets him the nickname Benedict Arnold.
Jack: His character's (Beardo the Magnificent) intro and appearance leading everyone else generally being hesitant to fight him.
Michael: For essentially being Spider-Man and using a lot of web based attack names. Also for being the smallest person out of the six.
What makes Jack and Ryan's stand out is the fact they use the Diva entrances for their... rather burly men.
One year later, the gang delves back into the realm of wrestling with WWE 2K14. Once again, they make their characters and the results are... out there.
Geoff revisits the Corpirate with the "Yarrgarita", claiming that the Corpirate is on vacation.
Ray quickly notices and "runs" after Gavin. Since neither of them know how to sprint, they both adopt a strange waddle which makes the whole chase absolutely hilarious.
Ray: Wait Gavin, I need that!
Gavin: No, I'm setting up my ladder and climbing out of this place.
Ray: Gavin, come back..!
"Let's Play Madden 25 Super Bowl Special" features the Seattle Lads against the Denver Gents. Having not played the game for a year, it's no surprise that Gavin is still bad at quarterback. However, what's surprising is that Jack is worse, throwing seven interceptionsnote Actually eight, but one was called back due to a penalty before switching controllers with Ryan, who throws three more.
He doesn't just switch controllers with Ryan: after throwing pick #7, he leaves the room in shame, then comes back and takes Ryan's controller.
When Gavin was about to pass the ball, his character faked the pass and ran instead. Gavin's reaction, we shit you not, was "How did I throw it to me?"
Michael: "How do I throw it to me?" You didn't let go of the ball!
Ray's reaction to a particularly poor punt by Gavin.
Ray: Nice kick, asshole. Leave your wheelchair in the locker room?
The entirety of Let's Play FIFA 14 is a colossal comedy of errors thanks largely in part to the fact that none of them know how to play.
Gavin grappled onto the top of a statue and planted a dynamite against Ray. He was swinging back and forth so fast that, so once he released the dynamite, he rocketed into the water, eliminating himself from the game.
Ray fired a homing missile against Geoff. The only problem was that, by the time it reached Geoff, it somehow hit a car window.
Michael making sense of Gavin's gibberish in Worms Part 2.
Gavin: There's actually one person from Drippy Spaff who's a member of Munge Bimp.
Michael: ... shut up. Shut the fuck up, Gavin.
"Wha - Johnboy? What?"
Gavin used Kamikaze to kill Faffy Waffle, but when he used it, it killed two of his own worms.
Ray: In all honesty, do I need to worry about Slebnote Gavin's final worm, or is Sleb gonna take care of Sleb?
Not too long after: "You told me, how are you gonna deal with Sleb? Sleb's gonna deal with himself; I told you!"
Explaining: At this point, Gavin, Michael, and Ray each have one worm leftnote named Sleb, Dung Bingo, and Kilburn (respectively), and it's Gavin's turn. Gavin decides to jetpack over to Ray, drop an explosive on him, and fly over to Michael so he can kill him too. However, after placing the dynamite, Gavin hovers a bit too long... and his fuel runs out above the water. The dynamite knocks Ray into the water and Michael, whose sole worm has 5 health points (out of 100), wins.
Gavin: All right, I've gotta be... I've gotta be smart. I've g... okay, this... I know exactly what I'm gonna do.
Ray: Let's see, Sleb has 33, you have 5, I have 63, but I'm at the edge.
Gavin naming his Worms Armageddon team "Vibrating Munt". This time, the worms are called Nog Bedge, Fudd Dunker, Dump Gubbler, and Rectus Erectus.
Gavin, after some complication with using the rope, fell next to Mac, one of Geoff's worms. He chose to prod him off from the mountain edge. Did not work.
Michael named four of his worms Hans Job, Wet Brown Sauce, Massive Dump and Moe Torboat.
Grundel Guys was the name Ray chose for his team. He even gave them sailor hats, but the game wouldn't allow it.
Gavin tried to make up for that Mac debacle, so he used a rope to get on a farm house. Except, he was stopped by one of the other guys worms. Once he dislodged himself, he fell on top of a mine.
Geoff tried to punch Gavin with a blue energy fist.
Gavin: Nice magic show, genius.
Gavin dropped dynamite near Geoff and Ray. Except, Gavin couldn't get out. Gavin didn't take it well. We'll try to express what he said.
Gavin: (tried to get out) HUUUUUGGGH! DUUUUUUHHHH-OOOH!!! (realized he couldn't) H'AWWWWWWWW!!!
As bad as Gavin was, Michael's almost as bad at times. He used a rope on a farm house, but he couldn't figure out how to use it, so he kept swinging at the wall. Once he got the hang of it, he lowered himself down to one of Gavin's worms. He had five seconds left, so he used his rope on a tree, but as he got there, he laid down a piece of dynamite on himself.
After noticing he has only one worm left, Gavin expresses his dismay in the only way he could.
Gavin: ALL MY WORMS ARE EFFING TRAPPED!!
Ray throwing a banana bomb on Geoff, but somehow managing to damage himself. In fact, he lost more health than Geoff's two worms who were caught in the crossfire.
Gavin had one worm left, so he took Ray's advice to use a jetpack and plant a bomb between two enemy worms. Only problem was that, as soon as he brought it out, a grenade fell out. Panicked, he canceled the jetpack... and couldn't escape because of it. You could see him only three inches above the ground the entire time he had it on, too.
Gavin: OOOOOOHHHH! Why would on Earth would I-? OH MY GOD!! (grenade explodes)
Geoff: (as insult to injury) You did two damage to me.
Ray had two of his worms, named Unpleasant and Immoral, on a ledge. Gavin takes notice.
Gavin: The safest place to be is that terrible Dennis ledge.
"Nooo, not Rectus Erectus!"
Gavin used jetpack to plant a grenade on Mister Love (a Ray worm). Lost all his fuel and ended up killing himself.
Gavin: "Buh, BUUUUHHH, buh-buh, buh-buh-buh-buh. Okay, gotta tease this in. Buh-bu... (loses fuel and falls on the mine) OOOOOOOOOHHHH, GAWWWWD!!"
"Not Fudd Dunker! Don't dunk my Fudd!"
Gavin threw a grenade from a ledge onto Michael. The grenade rolled past Michaels three worms and fell into the water.
Gavin had one worm left, named Nog Bedge, so he hid on a ledge behind a giant bush and propped up a turret. Ray's response?
Ray: "Are you gonna camp in Worms too?"
"Heads up, Massive Dump!"
After Geoff swatted Ray with a baseball bat. "He just gave you a damn-good spanking!"
Gavin tried to get Nog Bedge out of the bush, so he used a rope. With Gavin being Gavin, he pulled himself up and down from the new cliff down near the bush. He landed on a ledge near the cliff and he jumped backwards, before falling down right back down to the ledge. He jumped in the air, fired a rope and flung himself... back to the ledge, leaving himself wide open for attack.
After Gavin successfully killed Michael's worm, without damaging himself, Geoff and Ray weigh in on it.
Geoff: That was a spectacular accident.
Ray: So was my birth.
Ray: "I dunno. It's gonna take me somewhere random. Right next to a mine?! Really?"
Charlie, Geoffs last worm, was up next for (what turned out to be) the final turn. Geoff used a blow torch to evaporate the soil in front of him, leading straight towards Ray (who was next to a mine). He used the blow torch to push Ray out of the cliff and onto the water. On the other hand, as Geoff moved forward, the blow torch set off the mine. Not only that, just like Gavin beforehand, Geoff gave Michael the victory.
The final round of Worms 2: Armageddon, which they decide to play drunk.
Gavin naming one of his worms Urethra Xtreme
Geoff was the first to go for the seventh round overall. He slipped and fell onto a tree. And his turn was up. We are not kidding.
Ray naming his team Randy Newman, Randall Newman, Nandy Rewman and Mark Nutt.
Michael: Nandy Rewman? You just got lazy.
Gavin confusing baseball and golf. "What do you say in baseball? FORE!"
Geoff busted out a rocket launcher, propped up a homing missile and aimed for Ray. As he shot himself in the face.
"I battered you into next week. Next weeks Let's Play, you'll be in it, even though we're not playing Worms."
Sometimes, even Gavin has issues with his names. For reference, he was talking about Blenge Squeltch.
Gavin: As long as Bidge Spleff or, what was it? Not Bidge Spleff. Blumpy Bimp?
Ray landing on a mine without even noticing there was a mine until he was right on top of it, in a very Gavinesque move.
Gavin using a Ninja Rope on a cliff. He kept pulling himself up on the exact spot that the grapple landed on.
Michael: Yeah! Fuck that... grass.
"It's the Girder of Dreams. You've gotta eat some cheese to get through that one!"
Ray was running out of time, so he just fired a bazooka, which damaged himself.
Gavin using a rope to grapple on a cliff, in order to lower down the edge of a mountain below. He started off on the right of the mountain, just over Ray. Except, he doesn't decide to kill Ray. No, he twisted himself all the way to the left, with the rope still stuck on the cliff. He let go of the rope, brought up a new one and plopped a grenade near Randall Newman. Once he pulled himself up, Gavin flung himself directly onto a mine. At least he killed Randall Newman.
Michael jetpacked over a two-foot gap and dropped a mine on his cliff. And that was his turn. I am dead serious.
Gavin: That was like using a jetpack to cross a road!
The very end of Worms 2 Part 2: Michael and Ray are the only ones left, and it's Sudden Death, so each worm has only one health point. Michael uses an as-yet-unused lightning weapon on Ray's last worm... and it heals 30 points of health. Ray then fires a homing missile, and the splash damage takes out Michael's worm.
Michael: WHY WOULD LIGHTNING HEAL YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!
Worms: Revolution contains a number of moments also:
Gavin going back to his old ways by jumping off a cliff into the water.
At the very start of game 2, Michael has a worm near the water at the bottom. He tries walking up the hill to knock a nearby worm off... and walks directly into a mine, which blasts him into the water.
Later, he does it again, only this worm doesn't die.
The very end of the game is Michael vs Geoff, each with one worm left with low health. Geoff fires a homing missile at Michael's worm... too bad Geoff didn't see the speck of land directly in front of him.
Michael: GEOFF, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?!?!
Geoff: WHAT HAPPENED??? (which he repeats several times)
Ray: You're so stupid!
Geoff: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?
Ray: You hit a pixel that was like this big.
Gavin: Foiled by a pixel!
Worms: Revolution Part 2:
Ray throws a sheep completely off the map and into the water.
Ray: All right. Oh, sheepie. Turn around, sheepie. Sheepie, all right. Turn around, okay. Man, you are thirsty. All right, sheepie, all right.
(Gav and Michael die laughing)
The ending: Michael and Gavin each have one worm left, and the two worms are very close, separated by a steel girder Gavin put up on his previous turn. Gavin tries to kamikaze Michael's worm, but dies on the girder, giving Michael the W.
Gavin:(has just blown up on the girder, Michael is laughing his face off) Aw! I didn't go anywhere!
Ray: You, uh...
Michael: You fuckin' killed yourself! (cue confused Angrish from Gav) You kamikazed, you idiot! You literally killed yourself! How can you win the game when you're dead?
Gavin: Don't you shoot forwards like this when you do that?
Gavin: "Alright, this is what I'm gonna do." (immediately jumps into the ocean and drowns) "AHH!!" (cue massive fit of laughter)
Worms Revolution Episode 5:
The entire episode might as well be a display of some of the worst Worm playing in history. Every turn is just one Epic Fail after another.
From the very start, Michael and Gavin are right next to each other, at the edge of a cliff opposing Ryan's worm Sloth. The two attempt to work together, which results in Michael blowing himself up more than Sloth, Gavin swinging around recklessly until he takes damage and Ryan sending another worm down to immediately kill both of them. Even then, Ryan was not immune to the Idiot Ball and he still managed to do some damage to himself in the process.
Jack bunkers one of his worms down for safety rather than try to pass the mines on either side of him. Michael pays him a visit by setting off one of them without taking damage, moving right up to the entrance of his little hole and dropping a grenade on his face.
The reason he failed to make effective use of his first turn was because he believed Ryan's warnings about time running out, counting down from 5... while he still had 30 seconds.
In one turn he wasted two jetpacks in order to collect some money in the most panicky manner possible. He ended his turn by jumping desperately, landing on Michael's head. Because of this, Michael was unable to move in his next turn. He wasn't pleased.
The entire alliance of "Team Nice Dynamite" is a complete shambles as Michael and Gavin constantly compromise or outright attack each other, to even more hilarious effect when they're almost eliminated while Jack and Ryan still have nearly all their worms.
Gavin: We've been tryin' to be on the same team and all we've done is wipe each other out!
With his final worm, Gavin, near a ledge, runs low on time so drops a Grenade right next to Ryan and, attempting to get away, jumps to the ledge side of the grenade - ensuring that his worm goes sailing into the ocean after the explosion. The blast tosses Ryan's worm back onto the ledge and it survives.
Michael does a Gavin when trying to take out one of Jack's worms.
Michael: I tried to blast you off; I got blasted!
On Ryan's suggestion, Jack launches a rocket through a pool to blow out the bottom - the objective being to drain the pool onto one of Michael's worms and possibly push it into the Ocean. The plan works perfectly... except for Jack's other worm at the bottom of the hill.
Once Jack and Ryan are the only two players left, a title card appears, explaining that the two spent the next fifteen minutes failing to kill a single worm. The footage is still shown.. sped up to 1600x.
Worms Revolution Episode 6:
Gavin walking his last worm off a ledge at the end of the first round - to the surprise of no one.
What really sells it is Geoff's hilariously distinct laugh, even by his standards. Also, there's Ray, who was completely unamused.
Gavin: (as he prepares to attack Geoff's worm) Hmmmmm.... there's Chocolate Fudgenote Michael's worm... (Gavin's worm moves a short distance) Let's see... (Gavin's worm moves again and slithers off the edge, everyone else busts out laughing)
Michael: He's standing at the door! He's standing at the door like the end of fucking Blair Witch Project!
Gavin drops a dynamite on the head of one of Ray's worms near the start of the second round. The resulting double explosion causes Ray's worm to flip in the air and land on top of his attacker. Made even better by the commentary -
A few turns later, Gavin is controlling his worm on the edge of the map, and tries to jump onto a small ledge with a mine on it without setting off the mine. After Geoff baits him by assuring him he can make the jump, it ends predictably, with Gavin down a worm.
During the second round, Michael tries to throw a cluster grenade at one of Geoff's worms just below him. He fails to take into account the wind, tossing it completely across the battlefield and dealing three digit damage to one of Gavin's worms as a result of the fiery chain reaction, along with another of Geoff's.
Near the end of the second game, Michael is the only one left with multiple worms, one of which is on the same ledge as Geoff's. Geoff sends a sheep at Michael's worm, but fails to detonate it; instead, it bounces off the wall behind Michael's worm and heads right back towards Geoff's. Instead of eliminating himself from the game, Geoff has no choice but to watch the sheep leap off the ledge into the water.
Geoff manages to get another turn after Michael supersheeps Ray, and tries to throw a Holy Hand Grenade at Michael's worm. It bounces off the worm and rolls back toward Geoff's, sending him into the water and winning the game for Michael.
Worms Battlegrounds: with a new game comes new fails.
Geoff unwittingly using his second move to kamikaze into Ray's. His second move, with a worm that had full health, and used it to commit suicide without even killing Ray's worm. Everyone else burst into laughs and declared him the second Gavin for it.
Surprisingly, Gavin is fairly competent at the start of the game. Then he discovers the mortar, and attempts to fire two from the top of the map. However, in an attempt to "account for the wind", he fires them both straight up. Ah, Gav... note In his defense, past games DID have non-bullet projectiles get affected by the wind - later Bovine Blitzes are also slightly wind-blown - and Ray misled him into thinking that the wind would be more significant. Why he fired a) straight up, rather than at a slight angle, and b) a second mortar after seeing the first one fail, though...
Later, he discovers the "Bovine Blitz" weapon and decides to use it, without knowing how it works.note It's like an air strike, except you can drop five exploding cows, and you can drop them wherever you like on the map. He lets the helicopter fly nearly off the screen before dropping a single cow, missing every worm.
With one worm that has 16 health, Geoff tries to lower himself to the bottom of the map, but gets stuck on a pixel of land and is shot down by Michael's turret gun. He lives, making it all the way to...
The end of the game: Ray has two worms against Geoff's one in sudden death, where the water rises between each turn. One of Ray's worms is at the top of the map, with Geoff's on a rapidly shrinking ledge below him. Ray climbs through a tunnel and tries to parachute onto the small ledge, but the wind blows him into the water.
The very first VS episode, with Gavin challenging Michael to a Halo: Combat Evolved match, has some pretty hilarious moments:
Gavin gets stuck on a jump, and Michael kills him with ease.
Both guys yell out "How did that grenade not kill you?" multiple times.
The bad spawns.
Best one is when Gavin just killed Michael and is bouncing off to another hiding spot. Michael spawns right behind him and immediately executes him at the back of the head.
Geoff calling out Gavin for the "strategy" of telling Michael everything he's doing.
"Every peek I little pook!"
Geoff:[referring to the score] So what are we at? 19-19?
The second VS episode ends up a Curb-Stomp Battle for Ryan, the challenger, with 20 kills in Quake 3. His opponent, Michael, has... negative 4.
Michael: Gavin, this is how a game that you choose should go.
The whole opening
Michael decides to come "costumed" in preparation for the match. Then he does lunges to warm up. For a PC game.
Michael: Ryan, you'll be at a disadvantage if you don't stretch. Ryan: *gestures at all the crap on top of him since he doesn't have a desk * It'd take me too long to get out of here.
Ryan stretches by "grabbing air tits"
"knead the bread"
Ryan: One thing is certain, no one will know who's talking.
On the third VS match, Jack and Ryan you know Ryan is done for as soon as Jack announces what they're going to play... Geometry Wars. The look of surprise and apprehension is hilarious. For what it's worth, he does spectacular for his first time playing the game, but, well, Jack was the one who picked the game, so...
VS episode 4 (Sega Bass Fishing): Geoff ends up the first challenger to lose... spectacularly.
And then, when it actually is Deedee: "No, that's Mandark!"
Throughout the game, pits will open up in the floor that the player must avoid. At one point, Jack uses a special move to summon massive tornadoes, pillars of fire, etc. Ray moves out of the way, and the floor opens up right below Jack, who slowly descends to his death while happy rainbows and hearts mark where he dies like a tombstone.
This was the second time that Jack had attempted that special move. The first time, when Ray moved out of the way, Jack killed himself on principle.
Michael: He's the Black Ops guy! It's like, he's great at everything but that's Bla- it's like, everyone knows he's Black Ops!
Immediately followed by:
Gavin: But who's good at throwing a bloody axe in a shooting game?
Ray: Puerto Ricans!
VS episode 9 has Jack vs. Ray on Mortal Kombat II. Loser has to use the brand new Pizza Hut app to order everyone pizza. Ray loses.
In the second match, Gavin and Michael keep pointing out the Liu Kang (Jack) keeps shooting Jax (Ray) in the balls.
And at the end of that match, Jack apparently blocks Ray for his "Finish Him" move.
At the end, when Ray is ordering the pizza, they put in, for a special request, to either draw on the box the Rooster Teeth logo or a wizard casting a spell. They didn't do it.
VS episode 13: Gavin challenges Ray to London 2012 Olympics. They start off with archery where Gavin desecrates MARK NUTT's reputation, then Ray gets three straight tens.
Gavin: After the Olympics Mark Nutt went to the booze.
Then they compete in triple jump. In six attempts, Gavin fails all six times.
As they're waiting for the first event to load, Gavin gets a big Oh Crap moment.
Ray: Y'know, after we played this game, I got all the achievements.
Gavin: You got all the achievements?
Ray: I got all the achievements in this game.
Michael: You're going to get your ass—
VS episode 14 and the comedy of errors Ryan pulls off while playing Worms Ultimate Mayhem, including falling off a building, accidentally firing his sniper rifle while jumping to get a better shot and his poor aim with the Sheep.
What makes this funnier is that Ray doesn't know how to control the game with a mouse and keyboard and it was the first time he played the game!
VS episode 15: Jack challenges Ray...to the local arcade's crane game. Ray wins twice.
VS episode 16: Geoff challenging Ray to Gorilla Flash that alone is hilarious.
At the end, when Geoff beats Ray, he tells Ray to take the belt off, but Ray had it off the entire time. Geoff ends up getting up, grabbing the belt and 'giving it to Ray just so he can take it off!
VS episode 19: Ryan, in his game reveal, slaps a game case of Soul Calibur V on his chest and asks him to open it. He does and reveals that it's actually Top Spin 2.
VS episode 20: When Jack unveils Doom 2, Team Lads start jumping around for joy. Then, Gavin smashes his knee on the desk and he drops to the ground in pain.
VS episode 24: Gavin gets so into unveiling Guitar Hero 2 that he ends up spiking the case on the floor, breaking it.
VS episode 25: Ryan ambushes Gavin in the intro by having the rest of the AH crew call him into the office, then throwing the belt at his head ("VERSUS!") the second he opens the door.
The actual gameplay itself counts as well, if only for the team's bafflement at a game with only two buttons (Divekick) being so surprisingly strategic.
VS episode 29: Michael challenges Ray to a game of Hole in the Wall. As Ray puts it:
Ray: It's a Behind the Scenes. It's like a two for one... and a GameFail note As the game goes on, it also turns into a Rage Quit as well!
Geoff's sign off.
Geoff: Tune in next week when we don't play Kinect!
VS episode 30: Gavin challenges Michael to GTA 4 Chopper vs. Chopper where we have a hilarious moment where Gavin ditches his motorcycle and just starts running from Michael on foot and manages to avoid him and find a car.
Gavin eventually gives up on all strategy while chasing Michael and literally flies into Michael, sliding along the ground and killing him.
VS episode 31: Ryan challenges Michael to a dogfight in GTA V. This, however, proves easier said than done: every time the guys try to steal jets from the military base, they either fail to make the jump in, get blown up in the base, or escape with the jet but get blown up later. In the end, they decide to decide the winner by one match of arm wrestling, which challenger Ryan wins.
Halfway through, Geoff decides to join in, making the jump and just driving around. As he does, Michael makes another attempt to steal the jet and, in his panic, flips his plane around and dumps out his character. The scene flips to Geoff, who watches Michael's character hit the ground.
VS episode 35 starts with Michael declaring they were going to play Pokémon X and Y and it looked like Ray was following through and as the title comes up, Michael declares that it's boring and showing off the real game, Starwhal.
VS episode 39 gets Down to the Last Play between Gavin and Geoff in, with them each winning one of the first two rounds. The third and final round has them neck-and-neck the entire time, the entire thing getting tense as hell, with Geoff being focused and silent while Gavin is freaking out. What makes this so funny is that they're playing QWOP of all games.
At the end, Geoff barely wins by about a meter, and his reaction as he yells at Gavin almost sounds like he's having flashbacks to being in the military.
Geoff: " GIVE ME MY BELT!"
Even more hilarious is the fact that his yelling causes his voice to sound all cracked when he mentions the challenger for the next episode and the episode ending with Gavin sounding just the same as Geoff.
VS episode 42 has Gavin challenge Michael to Hidden in Plain Sight where you don't know who you are or who your opponent is. While Gavin is able to sniff out Michael fairly frequently, he also pulled off such brilliant stunts as
Round 2: Gavin hovers over a character and says "Who's this next to me?" Cue a dead Gavin.
Round 4: Shoots a random opponent 2 seconds into the match with his only bullet. Michael just runs across the screen.
Round 6: Gets about 2/3 of the way across the screen stealthily and starts sprinting the remaining distance with enough time for Michael to gun him down.
Michael: I feel like you bested me almost every round and you gave me every round I won.note Which is correct; Gavin wins the odd rounds skillfully and botches the even rounds. Since the match was best out of 7, Gavin wins 4 to 3.
A minor but still very amusing scene is at the beginning. Normally, the game reveal is accompanied by lots of cheering and screaming. When Gavin announced Hidden in Plain Sight, everyone is just puzzled and looking at each other as if to ask "What the hell is that?"
VS episode 45, rather than challenging Gavin to a video game, Geoff happens to have a pair of Nerf pistols, and challenges Gavin to an old fashioned duel. 5 paces, first to three. It gets cut down to first to one because the two are such poor shots.
VS episode 49, Gavin has an Oh Crap look on his face when Lindsay challenges him to a game of "Catlateral Damage". And still wins.
Not only does Gavin win, he crushes Lindsay, beating her by over 100,000 points!
VS episode 52 (Reset) takes the AH crew out go-karting. During the race proper, Gavin manages to dislodge his helmet-cam, causing it to point downwards into his lap for the entirety of the video. Every time Gavin's footage is shown, the text in the upper-right of the screen denoting the racer's position simply reads "?/7".
At the very start of the race, as the team waits for the flag, a few words are exchanged between Jack (winner of the qualifier round) and Team Nice Dynamite:
VS episode 57 has Michael and Lindsay fight in Dead or Alive 4. After Lindsay comes from behind and wins her first championship, she makes Michael remove his shirt (which was a "wife beater") and replace it with a Pink Ranger t-shirt.
VS episode 58 has Lindsay retaining the belt for the second week. However she's left it at her desk and has to leave to go get it. For some reason Ryan tries to get everyone else to be quiet until she comes back.
VS episode 59 has Jack making his first round in "Cat-A-Pault" and somehow causing the computer's recording program to pull an EXTREME CLOSE UP!, forcing "Technical Difficulties" to happen again.
VS episode 61 has a face-off in Conker Live And Reloaded. Unfortunately the map they choose mean that Ryan and Michael are stuck on opposite ends of the map, unable to come into contact with each other.
VS episode 62 has their first match involving the PlayStation 4. Ray can't help but to gaze at the PS4 controller in total awe.
As Ryan and Gavin are fighting in Super Pole Fighters, they start referring to their poles as dildos and they start singing "Everyone was Dildo Fighting~!"
VS episode 64 - Ray's face as the champion is a picture when Lindsay as challenge reveals her game choice: JEOPARDY!
During the game reveal the Clouds incident is brought up again, which results in the same "The rule was never stated!" argument from Ryan. Geoff holds up his hand in an attempt to cut off the bickering before it continues further, Ray high-fives him.
The game (Don't Break the Ice!) heats up so much that after one of his later moves actually works, Ryan throws his little plastic hammer across the room in excitement.
VS episode 69 is Ray vs. Ryan. Problem is, this completely skips over Gavin vs. Ryan, next in the sequence. To remedy this, VS #70 is the Gavin/Ryan episode, with Geoff providing black-and-white opening narration explaining the error as the result of a time paradox.
In the second episode, Gavin breaks an entire shelf of the game bookcase while scrambling to grab a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV.
Ray: "I put those in alphabetical order, you fuck!"
What makes this even better is that there was already a copy of the game on his desk, meaning that he had broken the shelf for nothing.
There's also the lampshading of Ray's Memetic Badass status
Jack: "So Ray says, 'I got it,' but that doesn't actually mean he got it."
Ryan: "Just like when Ray says, 'I'm about to die' it actually means, 'I'm about to kill everyone.'"
Michael: "That is true. That's classic Ray."
Geoff misleads the entire group by falsely hinting that the swingset where the famous swingset glitch is usually done on is found on "the main island". Cue everyone else driving around Algonquin for a few minutes not finding any swings.
In episode 3, about 2 minutes into the race for first to get an Achievement, the video points out that Gavin already got an achievement that day but Gavin doesn't notice - and instead spends the rest of the video assuming he must've played the game at some point in the past. It was later discovered that he had disabled notifications but even then, he still didn't know. In the end it doesn't matter, because he got another achievement in the same game before anyone caught up.
Ray's meltdown (thanks in part to Geoff telling him to use the "BrownMan" account) thanks to the fact that "[he had] achievements in everything!"
Speaking of the Geoff part, Ray has the bestOh Crap face after being told this.
In episode 9, Jack is close to catching a fish in Sega Bass Fishing to win this week, but then his screen switches from his Xbox 360 to the Xbox One. He initially thinks that the 360 crashed, but then he realizes that he's looking at the wrong console's dashboard. Gavin is smiling at the camera during the whole moment holding the remote control for Jack's monitor. After switching back to the right console's screen, it's revealed that Jack managed to catch his fish anyway.
In episode 11, the goal is to unlock an achievement in any game using a non-standard controller. Gavin flails and runs about for quite some time before returning with a Guitar Hero controller...and using it to play Mortal Kombat.
After Gavin wins episode 12 and places his sticker on the board, Michael points out that since the scores are so close together now (3,3,2,2,2), Geoff could potentially be paying for pizza party after pizza party as they each reach 5 stickers one after the other. "It's gonna be a Pizzapalooza!" As he says this, Geoff just pauses awkwardly next to him, adopting a look that just screams "Did Not Think This Through".
Geoff: "...Huh. Maybe after someone gets a pizza party-"
Michael: "No, shut up."
In episode 14, Ray screws over Ryan by saying that Ryan could just skip the Xbox Live update because he's only playing single player. Ryan is then brought back to the dashboard. Ray's next line makes it utterly hilarious:
Ryan: "I cancelled and it kicked me back to the dashboard!"
Ray: "Ha ha! It was all a ruse!"
Ryan: "You son of a bitch!"
Episode 17, Ray wins the challenge and gets a pizza party. Geoff states that Ray can bring one friend. We cut to the pizza and learn he picked Kerry. Lindsay swings her camera to show the "Loser Table" where everyone else is eating pizza and shooting daggers at the winner (except Ryan, who is licking his plate for reasons that presumably made sense to him).
Episode 20 sees Ryan deciding to have little fun with Jack after stealing Gavin's remote from Episode 9.
Ryan: (reaches over his equipment, takes aim at Jack's set-up and switches the channel)
Ryan suggests opening a 'chest' in Surgeon Simulator 2013. Geoff speculates that his week off was probably spent going on a murder spree instead of the beach like a 'normal person'.
Geoff: "I'm gonna head to Thailand. Watch the news guys. 32 people stabbed in China..."
Gavin produces a novelty Minecraft chest in real life. Geoff allows it... for a second.
Then, Ryan tries to steal it.
The challenge is to kill a Hunter and a Brute with only one of those coming from a Halo game. Ryan, Ray, and Michael knock off a brute in Halo before, erm, hunting for Hunters in Left 4 Dead (or in Michael's case: Resident Evil: Operation Raccoon City), while Jack and Gav dive straight into Left 4 Dead. It takes so long for anyone not in Halo to find and kill a Hunter that when Jack manages to shoot one, Michael thinks he's won the episode, when in fact he still has to get the Brute in Halo. His exasperation is priceless.
After winning, Gavin runs around the room in circles a few times before putting his sticker on the wall.
During Gavin's attempt to kill a cowboy, the cowboy falls over for no real reason before Gavin shoots him.
Episode 34 has the crew trying to take the best selfie in GTA V.
The mystery of Gavin's eternally open mouth is solved! His mood is set to 'Stressed'.
Ray climbs on top of a structure at the docks, looks out across the horizon and asks himself:
Ray: ... Why did I climb up here?
Ryan's attempt to blow up a pile-up of cars hits a snag when he runs out of gasoline/petrol. He then decides to try and use a grenade...
Ryan: Okay, let's see if I can do it with a grenade... (pulls the pin)
Geoff: You're going to have to be fast.
Ryan: Yeah, I... oh shit, I'm still holding it!
(throws the grenade from him, it explodes and still kills him)
Jack: Aaand Ryan's dead.
Episode 35 has Geoff asking the others for the best campaign score in Halo 3.
There are only four copies of the game, so someone will not be able to take part. The final copy is thrown between Michael and Ray. Michael doesn't even try to go for it.
Ryan discovers that friendly fire is on when he manages to melee Ray in the back of the head when he gets too close.
Ryan on reloading:
Ryan: "I finally found how to reload. It was right bumper like everyone was saying, but I didn't believe them."
Episode 37 puts each of the guys in different corners of the map on GTA V, first one to get three kills wins.
Michael decides to steal a jet from Fort Zancudo, but gets caught on the wing of a jet when he tries to board one and gets blown up by a tank. Then he spawns on the highway and gets run over by a truck. He attempts to steal it... without realizing that it was a military truck. He then gets flattened again, tries to hijack another car to get away, and gets shot to death. This is before anyone even gets their first kill, mind you.
Later on, Gavin suicide-bombs Michael with a crop duster, except the game registers it as Michael killing Gavin, giving Michael an early lead.
Halo HORSE #128, a first-round tournament match, comes down to one final map between Joel and Geoff - a soccer match where each player controls a Mantis. The game ends when Geoff scores on his own goal, sending Joel on to the next round and marking the 3rd straight first-round knockout for Geoff.
The commentary for Halo HORSE#140, a semifinal tournament match between Miles and Joel. There are two separate commentary tracks, Miles' and Joel's... and they play at the same time. If you're wearing headphones, Miles' plays in one ear, while Joel's plays in the other. And they switch ears mid-video. Twice.
Episode 14 of HUNT begins with Ryan taking some kind of accent "so people can tell who I am!" He starts off with a very British accent but then slowly morphs into Australian. It comes to the point where even he doesn't know what accent he's doing. You can hear everyone cracking up in the background. The YouTube comments include such gems as "Ryan ate Gavin!"
Ryan: "I may have lost the game, but I feel I've won the commentary."
The Impossible Game Level Pack also gives birth to one of Michael's most famous lines.
Michael: "Swiss FUCKING CHEESE!"
In The Unfair Platformer, we get a hint as to what happens behind the scenes of Michael's rage quits.
Michael: "What the fuck are you laughing at, Gavin? Edit the fucking video!"
Apparently, Gavin did actually edit the video, like Michael told him to, so we never heard him laughing.
Seeing Michael rage in his Rage Quit shows are usually funny in and out of themselves, but probably one of the most hilarious Rage Quit's is the Turok one. After the references to a couple movies, near the end, something unbelievable happens. As Michael aims his bow at the T-rex, who is across the map, mind you, the scene plays where the T-Rex eats him.
Michael: WHAT THE FUCK?! HE WAS ACROSS THE LEVEL! OH, BULLSHIT! THAT'S BULLSHIT!
Michael describing the annoying strategy the T-rex has.
Pretty much all of "Rage Quit: Duke Nukem Forever", but special mention goes to:
Michael: All right, Duke. Put the fuckin' thing in the hole, just like we learned in health class. From, like, the only hot teacher in the school. Except for the gym teacher, who had a very handsome mustache.
Michael: Fucking beautiful. What the fuck is she doing?
Michael's rants during Mirror's Edge.
Michael: (trying unsuccessfully to somersault under some pipes) Look at her. Look at her slide. Look at her slide under the pipes like a fucking ninja, she is!
(Jump cut to her holding onto the edge of a structure, but not climbing up)
Michael: [Beat] ...GO UP!!!!
When Michael finds the checkpoint, it's on top of a building, and the only way to get up there was on a different building... that he jumped off near the beginning of the video.
Michael: Is there a fucking access ladder I can use somewhere? An emergency stairwell? A fucking elevator? A helicopter? A BAT JET?! HOW THE FUCK DO I GET UP THERE?!
Michael: [later in the video] Give me a fucking trampoline! A fucking bouncy castle, for fuck's sake!
And the little gem when Michael rage quits it, and the game's still running.
Gavin: Try the other side—
Michael: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!
Any rage quit with both Michael and Gavin.
Rage Quit: QWOP Michael vs. Gavin. It has to be seen to be believed, and the moment where Michael and Gavin realize they're running on the same track is arguably the funniest Rage Quit moment of all time.
Rage Quit: Surgeon Simulator 2013. Michael and Gavin plus a hospital setting equals hilarity:
Gavin's constant failing at the controls, throwing surgical tools and body parts alike off the table, or into the patient's chest cavity. Early on, Gavin is holding a cloth, and throws it across a table, where it lands nearly offscreen. The only problem: in the process, he swept the cloth across the heart on the table.
Michael: WHERE'S THE FUCKING HEART?! You th— It's gone!
Gavin: It's like a magic trick!
Michael: Well, it's on the fucking floor now. I don't think the five-second rule applies.
When he does manage to successfully grab a tool, he tends to overuse it, with deadly results.
Gavin: Got it (a hammer)! (drags the hammer across the patient's face, causing blood loss) AAH!! AAH!!
Michael: Oh, you hit him in the face! Gavin! You just fuckin'... cracked his brain! He needs brain surgery now, dude.
Gavin: ...Hold on, okay, we got it. (completely destroys the patient's chest cavity with the hammer, causing massive blood loss and death) OHHHHH!!!
Michael: JESUS CHRIST, MAN! What are you doing?
Gavin: We've lost a lung!
Michael: We've lost everything!
Sometimes he grabs something else. For instance, when Gavin grabbed a clipboard instead of a tool:
Michael: You gonna write him a note!? "I owe you one new heart."
Or he misuses the tool entirely:
Gavin: (holding a bone saw) All right, there wa... get the... (accidentally kills patient)
Michael: Did you just stab them in the face?
Gavin: (laughing hysterically) I think I slit his throat by accident! I severed the... I went straight for the jugular!
Michael: You're like the fucking Angel of Death!
And finally, at the very end, Michael and Gavin have been careful in trying to do everything right, but the patient is losing blood quickly. Gavin carefully grabs the replacement heart... and flings it across the room, offscreen.
Michael: Okay, don't... okay, go over it... lower your hand...
Gavin: Yep, have we got it? All right.
Michael: You got the heart... (Gavin flings the heart offscreen)
Gavin: NO! OHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Michael: GAVIN ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!?!?! Are you fucking kidding me?
His Rage Quit of Uproar!. The first game to quit on him!
Michael: You jab with your right and hook with your left, you idiot! [game crashes] Y— WHAT?! ARE YOU SHITTING ME?! I just cannot, er, abh, I just fucking contacted the creator right now, it's a piece of shit and... fuck you. I couldn't even quit this. The fucking game QUIT ME! I GOT A CODE 4! WHAT THE FUCK IS A CODE 4?!
Rage Quit - Aircraft RC shows why Michael should never fly a real RC airplane.
Him messing with the initial options.
Michael: [fiddles with the volume knob] Got the music volume here. Gonna blast this fucking shit up like Skrillex! WUB-WUB-WUB-WUB-WUB-WUB-WUUUUB!
Michael: Mark me as "MIA" because I went out to fly a plane and I never came back because I got stuck on A PIECE OF FUCKING WOOD!
A real gem was Rage Quit: Serious Sam Double D XXL, where Gavin causes Michael a significant amount of trouble, as usual.
Gavin: Instead of walking, I'm gonna be a wheel, look at this. [Gavin moves his control stick in circles, causing his character to twirl his arms around in circles while making whooshing noises]
And another part where they had to ride on top of giant ants or whatever to get down a shaft.
Gavin: Michael, Michael, I'm scared of the bugs. I'm scared of the bugs... [Jump cut to Gavin on top of the ants] I'm gonna do what's called a—
Michael: Hurry the fuck up and get down here, that's what it's called! Let's go!
Gavin: Can I crouch?
Michael: Yes, press down. [Gavin falls down the shaft and under Michael's character]
Michael: [Crouching against Gavin's face] Look, that's how you crouch. I'm gonna fucking stuff my nuts in your mouth.
After getting some new guns and killing some monsters, they go back to the gun salesman, and Michael complains about Gavin buying too many air buffers.
Michael: Can we just rob this motherfucker?
Gavin: Oh, it's $50! I'm gonna buy another air buffer!
Michael: We don't need another air buffer!
Gavin: We need air buffers. We're gonna have buff—
Michael: We have three buffs now. You're gonna fucking buff me after this video!
And during the boss fight, a giant beetle, they both get killed by it due to the bullets bouncing off its shell. They later figure out that when it flaps its wings, it exposes soft flesh under the wings. Michael promptly tells Gavin where to shoot.
Michael: You have to shoot it in the asshole, where's your fucking stupid heart?! [Gavin gets killed and switch to loading screen]
Gavin: [As he shoots at the Beetle's weak point] I'm shooting his bum!
Later, Michael dies against it, and Gavin manages to kill it by himself, which would be pretty awesome if not for what happens next.
Michael: [Gavin, with only a sliver of health left, kills the boss] Fucking finally, Jesus fucking Christ— [Gavin walks into one of the [[Mooks]] that the boss was spawning and dies] GOD DAMN IT, GAVIN!!! You killed him, and then fucking died from a monkey!!
Gavin: Where were you?!
Michael: I was dead for like four minutes! You never picked me up!
And then we have Surgeon Simulator 2013: Steam Edition (Part 1). It starts with Gavin throwing everything on the desk into disarray in the start menu and Michael forgetting how to control the hand's fingers and being unable to properly grab anything. And the watch falling off. All within the first minute of the video. It only gets better from there.
Gavin and Michael discovering the wonder of the surgical laser. Every time they grab it, they tend to do more damage than they need and let the laser go flailing afterwards.
Michael: What is this? We just yanked something!
Gavin: Bloody laser cutter!
Michael: IT'S A LASER BEAM!
Anytime they accidentally get themselves high.
The first time they accidentally stab themselves with the needle, Gavin immediately starts scrambling for the bottle on the table, hysterically shouting, "I WANT THE ORANGE BURST. GIVE ME THE ORANGE BURST."
At one point, their surgical laser attempt gets them to free the patient's guts and their attempt to stop the bleeding by using the needle ends up getting them high... and using the other needle ends up speeding up the bleeding!
Gavin's attempt to cut something always ends up with his hand flailing around.
Michael: You cut like a three-year-old draws.
Special mention goes to Gavin for briefly rage quitting at Michael (for the first time in a Rage Quit episode) when they're arguing about whether they have to take out the old kidneys when they're putting in the new ones.
Michael: All you need to do is bump the other ones into place. I don't know why you keep trying to fucking take the old one out!
Gavin: Well, it's not a transplant then if you leave the other one in...
Michael: WHO GIVES A SHIT?! Do we put all the other parts back inside him?!
Gavin: HOW 'BOUT THIS THEN? HOW ABOUT WE JUST GET THE NEW ONES NOW AND CHUCK THEM IN?! SHOULD WE DO THAT?!
Michael: This is how surgery works! You think they take your fucking heart out when you get a heart transplant? They just push it to the side and fucking give you a new one! No one fucking goes through all that!
Gavin: ...You're a damn idiot.
Their first attempts at brain surgery. Their first attempt ends with slamming an axe into the guy's neck. The second attempt has them kill the person with the drill. And both attempts end with the guy dead in under 30 seconds.
Michael: Holy SHIT! JESUS!!! Holy crap! He looks like Tyrion Lannister! You fucking cut his face off! WHAT HAPPENED?! DID YOU KILL HIM?! Gavin: I might've damaged him, but... Michael: You killed him. Gavin: "Brutal murder"! Michael: You killed him in 27 fucking seconds! Gavin: Let's try that one again. Michael: Don't hit him in the side of the head with a fucking battleaxe! Gavin:What's it there for?
The third attempt, they get breaking the skull right and, as they go to pull the brain out, the ease of it freaks the hell out of them. And when the thing just easily pops out after being cut, Michael's panicking screams of "IT'S ON ME! IT'S ON ME!" shows how freaked out he is!
Part 2 picks up where Part 1 leaves off and we see Michael and Gavin trying to pull these surgeries off in an ambulance and in space!
The brain surgery goes just as well as you expect - Gavin buries a hatchet into a guy's skull in 10 seconds.
Gavin: Whack it... whack 'im...
Michael:[Watching Gavin smash open the skull with the axe leaving it in its brain]God damn, dude. Okay, we gotta... Gavin, jesus!
Gavin:[Reading the achievement] "What have I done?"
Michael: What DID you do?
Gavin: I stuck it in his brain!
Michael: OH, MY GOD!
Gavin:[laughing] 10 seconds...!
Michael: You fucking made him a unicorn! You killed him in 10 seconds!
Gavin: It's sticking out of his brain!
Michael: LOOK AT HIM!
Their attempts to stop bleeding during said brain surgery leaves the patient with only 1mm of blood left. They end up killing him with the syringe.
The ending to the Rage Quit of Among the Sleep (Alpha):
Michael:[He has just walked to the kitchen door and, as lightning flashes, he sees a monstrous figure in the distance] "OHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIT! Oh, shit! [turns his character around and runs] I am not prepared for this! Jesus Christ! [Jump Cut to the character near some tennis shoes] Put the shoes on! Put the fucking shoes on! Put the shoes on and RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"
The Rage Quit to Happy Pong has Michael fiddle with all of the options, turning his first experience with the game in a majorly psychedelic, if not unplayable, mess.
Rage Quit: Cat Mario, especially when Michael first hits the Kaizo Trap at the end of Level 1 - which he never beats.
Michael: [Jumps over a random laser beam and onto the pole, begins to move to the castle.] I jumped over the laser beam and I beat the fucking level. One-One, done! [Monster falls from the sky and kills him before he reaches the castle.] NO! NO!!
And the invisible trap in the middle of the level.
Michael WHY DO YOU JUMP LIKE YOU'RE ON THE FUCKING MOON!?!?!
And finally, the ending where he tries one last time to jump over the Mario Pole to avoid the kaizo trapnote This is actually how you avoid the kaizo trap is one of the funniest endings in Rage Quit history.
Michael: Okay, ready? We're going over this, you ready? [Takes a few deep breaths and jumps, only to get killed by the laser beam from earlier before even getting near the pole.] GOD DAMN IIIIIT!! FUCK!!!
Rage Quit: Give Up is another really funny video, with the beginning of the video setting a tone for it.
The first levels, which are composed of his character running through a flat plane, give him some truly funny dialogue.
Michael: Floor one; Floor one is my FUCKING BITCH!! SUCK MY DICK, FLOOR ONE!
In a later level, he actually makes it through about eight cannons that are all firing at him at once, and when he makes it to the end of the level, just has to be seen to be believed.
Michael: [Jumping to next platform, just barely being missed by the cannons.] Ahhh! Fucking made it, MAAADE IIIT!![Gets hit and killed by a cannon as he walks into the exit.] ...ARE YOU KIDDING MEEEEEE?!!?
Rage Quit: Trials Evolution, just about every rant he goes on.
Michael: [Making his rider lean back and forth repeatedly, making it look like he's fucking the motorcycle] Oh, there he goes, HUMPING THE FUCKING THING! Yeah, get it! Show her who's boss, but buy dinner first, asshole!
When he tries to ride uphill, but gets stuck at a giant pipe.
Michael: Come on, dicknugget!
When he tries to cross the river. This evolves into a slideshow of him failing at the game.
Michael: [His rider falls off the slope and into the river] Ohh, what's the matter? I wasn't even touching the controller. You got nothing to live for; YOU FUCKING KILLED YOURSELF!! [Jump cut to him still trying to cross the river]
Michael: 'IT'S THE SAME FUCKING THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!! [Jump cut to his rider lying down on a ramp]
Michael: Great. Fucking great...
And the "Sin City Level."
Michael: [After making it past an obstacle without knowing how he did] How did that happen? How did that he— HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?! [Falls] I am pissed that that just happened! [Crashes, bike falls apart, body gets hit by multiple cars as Michael rants] That was fucking ridiculous! I did like a front flip over and slid down the ramp, and the game is like "No, that's fine." It's the fucking Sin City level. 'Cause everything's red and black and white. Except, you know what's missing? Jessica Alba's giant titties! Where are they?! Maybe they'll be in DLC!
All in all, there's a good chance that the Trials games made Michael paranoid.
Michael: It's like they were like "Hey, remember that guy that played Trials, and he was like 'This game's fucking hard!'? Let's make another one! He'll play that one too!" And you're right! And then they're gonna make a fucking third one! And I'm gonna play that too! And I'M LOOKING LIKE A FUCKING ASSHOLE, like I always do when I play these goddamn games! HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!
No mention of Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 ?:
Michael: Let me tell you this. If you visit an island that's filled with nothing but half naked women that are running around playing tug of war and bouncing on trampolines, and splashing each other in the water, and you buy an Xbox, then you sir, are a goddamn asshole!
Michael: Alright, let's be honest, it was a good buy.
The Rage Quit to Uncraft Me has Michael actually have fun with the mindless game of shooting bricks away and revealing scantly-clad women. Of course, after the first four stages, it gets hard and Michael devolves back into his angry roars.
Michael vs. Andrew in Yu-Gi-Oh! Decade Duels Plus:
The number of references to the show, particularly Joey's infamous dubbed Brooklyn accent.
Both players' experience a number of epic fails due to not reading the effects of their cards.
Michael's furious reaction to losing and calls for a rematch.
Michael: I'M GONNA FUCK YOUR BUTT!
Michael and Andrew do have a rematch. And ham up their performance, especially at the end.
Michael (shouting): I attack your life points directly, bitch! Your ass is going to the Shadow Realm! That's it, game over! Have fun fucking hanging out with Pegasus and fucking... whatever his name is! Your ass is in the Shadow Realm, bitch! GAME!
Andrew: It was close. note (for the record, Michael ended up beating him with 10,000 Life points left over, which was MORE than he started with)
His yearly devotion to The Impossible Game really riles him up as he deals with level three, leading him to freak out and place a checkpoint inbetween two spikes, sending him on a death loop, leading him to roar out to tune in next year where he doesn't beat level four.
Michael: Part 4: The Dramatic Ending - I Die.
Rage Quit (?) Grand Theft Auto V. Michael decides to say screw raging and take a little "fishing trip".
Michael:(to the police while speeding away in a helicopter) YOU'RE NOT GOING TO STOP ME ON MY VACATION!
Rage Quit - Distraction. At one point, he dodges a missile shot at him from outside the screen, only to be hit with another missile a second after, leading him to go on a tangent about a similar incident in an episode of Naruto!
At the end, he gets so pissed off, when he slams his mouse, it causes him to scroll off the screen and pull the web browser window out of the way.
At one point, he begins to question the motives behind the animals causing the titular distraction, but in the middle of it he's killed, and he just screams, "WHAT ARE YOU- I— I'M A BIRD!I'MA BIRD!!!"
Michael's rant at the HDCP involving video capture on the Playstation 4. Then, he shows us how he "circumvents" it, leading to hilarious results.
Rage Quit: Rage. He spends the entire video saying nice things in a pleasant tone of voice. It's hilarious.
Michael: Come here Bobby, you fucking sloppy bitch!
Rage Quit: Winnie The Pooh - Michael can't get past Piglet.
Rage Quit: Geometry Wars Retro Evolved. Anyone who watches the VS episodes Achievement Hunter regularly puts out will know about this game. Michael has a number of funny moments raging about this game.
Michael: It's a game about fucking shapes. It'll shape your asshole!
Michael: OHHH!! Fucking atom bomb, motherfucker! Didn't see that coming, did you! (Gets killed) Oh, goddammit!
He frequently describes the shape monsters that he's killing as things that wanna rape him.
Michael: They're just fucking... they're butt snakes. They're butt snakes!
Michael: It's like World War fucking 37, cuz I don't know what year it is. We're in a future time-space continuum with fucking triangles and snake monsters, and fucking purple squares fucking your asshole apart!
Michael: They just fucking spawn out of nowhere. You're just minding your own business, then BAM! You're in Narnia, a magical land where every fucking woodland creature wants a piece of your mouth!
At some point, Michael got killed before he finished ranting about the last time he got killed!
Michael: Jesus Christ. (Gets killed) JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!! What the shit?! It was like a goddamn fucking explosion of colors on my screen! I got fucking raped by a red-- (gets killed again) WHAT THE FUCK?! GODDAMMIT!!!
Later in the video, Michael got so angry that he almost crapped his pants.
In the end of the video, Michael gets an achievement for getting over 250'000 points. He then wonders what the other achievements are like.
Michael: Oh! I got fucking 250'000 fucking points! Yaaay, achievement. What do I need to get all the fucking achievements, let's see. (Looks at the last achievement, earn over 1'000'000 points without dying.) Now what kind of fucking piece of shit is gonna waste their goddamn life trying to get a fucking stupid retarded achievement like that?! You gotta be some kind of fucking moron!! (Cut to Jack's page, where he got all the achievements)
While attempting to save Michael, Mike gets dragged away by a Smoker. Even after he's freed from the Smoker, Mike panics and shoots wildly only to get incapacitated by a single Common Infected
Michael: YOU JUST STOOD THERE!
When everyone but Mike is incapacitated, what does Mike do? Hide behind a forklift
Mike: The zombies are going to come after me!
The entire encounter with the Tank. While Michael scolds Mike for almost getting killed by a pipe bomb, Michael comes face-to-face with a Tank which proceeds to incapacitate him. Mike thinks he killed the Tank (he killed a Charger instead) and celebrates only to be knocked down by the Tank. Michael is then picked up by the AI only to get killed by the Tank within seconds before the Tank finishes off Mike
Michael: "You're the worst fucking intern ever."
"Rage Quit - Dodge the Balls" has Michael fit in as many ball jokes as possible.
AHWU #43, which includes Griffon giving both Geoff and Jack a kiss, the intro using the "Ding Dong Song", Geoff cracking up at the achievement name "Bone On", the "Achievement Pig", a random worker being asked to look at the camera ("there's nothing in there!"), and the Running Gag of Geoff saying "vagina".
AHWU #56, which includes highlights like a short repeat cut of Jack going "vroom-vroom", Burnie dancing a bit behind Jack, Gus's cutout being placed in the doorway, and then the real Gus taking its place.
Viewers are invited to send clips of themselves saying what number episode this is, as well as showing where they are (usually someplace scenic or famous). But one submission had a viewer show an average street lawn, saying "It's my front yard. Deal with it."
AHWU #158: Jack is out of town visiting Australia. The lads take this opportunity to liven up the news delivery a bit by grabbing the camera and running around the Rooster Teeth studio and parking lot, action news style.
Any time Jack is out of town, Micheal, Ray, and Gavin host "Team Lads Action News", where they pick up the camera and run around the Rooster Teeth office, terrorizing and annoying everyone while they work. In AHWU #195, the day a Team Lads Action News t-shirt was released, the news team initiates a Hostile Show Takeover by chloroforming Jack.
AHWU #171's show number intros are done by RT staff members through Team Lads Action News(?), proving that one of the few things the Mad King is afraid of is TLAN
Gavin: "Dammit, we lost him!"
Ray: "We lost him in our office."
AHWU #172 is a Jack and Geoff-less episode. Highlights include:
Pre-show level checking with Caleb, Michael and Lindsey.
Michael, Lindsey and Ryan posing in place before starting off for no apparent reason.
The intro (with Ryan getting really into it in the background).
Michael: "This week on AHWU, your face is gonna get blasted off!!"
Ryan pretending to be Jack by wearing Jack's MC skin hat as a scarf as well as his desk sign that says "Jack Pattillo, Rooster Teeth" being pinned to his shirt collar.
"Jack": "Australia stole some of my beard."
Michael finally learning what Geoff and Jack have to put up with every week when Lindsey tries to shove a banana in his mouth.
Ryan announces the Free Edgar 2013 shirt. It's as good as it sounds.
"Do I have dick room?"
AHWU#200 features Jack delivering the news on Flappy Bird, and the reasons why it was taken off of the iTunes App Store (among others). Cue Geoff trying to show the camera the app on his iPhone, with a censor bar along the bottom... because Geoff's background is his wife's cleavage.
It seems that most of the AHWUs since the move to the new offices involve Gavin in the background of Jack's pieces attempting to make the bearded one laugh. He often succeeds.
AHWU #216. Ryan gets another shirt... his body language says it all. He is just resigned to his fate of being the provider of so many shirt-based in-jokes by now.
AHWU #218 - Burnie makes a cameo.
Burnie: (opening the door to the office and looking round) Crap, Achievement Hunter is working in here! (closes the door)
Gavin: ... What a prick.
AHWU #221. Post-RTX edition. Everyone is visibly tired and hoarse after their convention except Jack who is somehow even more chipper.
Geoff: (to Michael) Tired?
Jack: I'm great!
Geoff: Shut up...
X-Ray and Vav turning up in costume at RTX.
Jack doing the Truffle Shuffle.
Mogar versus the Slender Man during the Achievement Hunter panel.
Michael: "Don't worry, you'll get your fifty bucks at the end of the panel."
Also, Geoff asks the audience for a carton of beer.