Fanfic / The CRONIES

The CRONIES is a fanfiction series that takes place primarily in the Sonic universe. Written formally by a trio of fanfic writers called "The Triple Peeps", this tale was originally meant to be a '"Friends"' parody, hence why the title card looks like that.

Sonic and Shadow were sitting in the Eggman Cafe. Shadow comments that the coffee tastes like Eggman, Sonic asks him how he knows what Eggman tastes like, and then a random person busts in and yells that the bank's being stolen (building and all). Henceforth, the two of them decide to make up their own superhero team, consisting of their pals, Amy Rose as the adorable "team secretary", and "sometimes Eggman."

From there, comedic adventures occasionally fueled by an ongoing arc/plot would occur. Villain(s) will rear their ugly heads, asses will get kicked, the villain(s) will be trounced afterwards, and commercials will happen inbetween.

There are a couple of 'Side-stories', per se, that fit into the 'Croniesverse', but are hard to gauge where they exist in the timeline. They are:

- Jonny Quest Vs. Li Syaoran Exactly What It Says on the Tin. The official prequel, so to speak, of Eggman Adventures. Jessie Bannon tells Jonny about a young martial artist named Li Syaoran who could beat him up. Meanwhile, a dinner at Sakura's house goes awfully awry when Syaoran mixes it up with her big brother, Touya. And WHY were Shadow and Eggman in the neighborhood at the time??

- Sonic Iron Chef! Exactly What It Says on the Tin. Sonic and Shadow challenge two of the original Iron Chefs. The commercials were food related, and was also the starting point of Farah Oersted's unerring hatred towards Eggman. Takes place somewhere before Eggman Adventures 3.

- Eggman... on ICE!!! Eggman decides one day to make a skating version of his life story, and EVERYONE'S INVITED TO WATCH!! What Could Possibly Go Wrong?? Takes place somewhere before Cronies 7.

- The Davis and Akuma Chronicles This one-shot story takes place after the events of Eggman on Ice, and during the "Eggman betrays the gang and Shadow and Rouge were in on it all along, just so they could abduct Tails" arc, a.k.a. after Cronies 9. A day in the life of "The Master of the Fist", Akuma and happy-go-lucky Digidestined, Davis Motomiya.

Recently Uncanceled with the posting of Cronies TRY 8.

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Tropes found within the CRONIES:

• Absurdly High-Stakes Game: When the villain of the day was the manga Yugi Mutoh, the one who killed people with his Shadow Games before "Duel Monsters" was introduced, he challenged every single member of the Cronies to Shadow Games. And suffer they DID... Up until Manga Yugi was hammered with extreme prejudice by Amy Rose. In the crotch.
• Adaptational Badass: Tails, oh so much. His Gadgeteer Genius traits have reached Reed Richards levels and his story paths in Sonic Adventure and Sonic 3 & Knuckles are considered canon, rather than Self-Serving Memory.
• Airborne Aircraft Carrier: Eggman's Egg Carrier. As well as Il Palazzo's massively floating fortress in Eggman Adventures 5 and 6.
  • The Tuatha de Danaan, a high-tech submarine, has a secret airship mode utilized by Tessa Testarossa as a plan to get rid of Kaname. She was convinced by Gauron to do it, though.
• Aliens Speaking English: Kirby and friends, the Space Pirates, and the people of Pioneer 2 can all converse freely with the characters.
• Badass Bystander: Hungry Phil, a hobo whose face we never really get to see. He especially proved his worth as both an Eggman Death-General, and with his Heroic Sacrifice as he fought the horde of Hamtaro hamsters. He reappeared in an Eggman Adventures 4 commercial. Yes, he had an extra life.
• Belligerent Sexual Tension: Knuckles and Rouge, played with since their initial encounters from Sonic Adventure 2. And the way they insult each other/going into random make-out sessions put this easily into Will They or Won't They? territory. But in the end, Rouge doesn't really want any of that, and Knuckles doesn't get the hint...
• Berserk Button: All in all, most characters have a vice that triggers this.
  • Don't piss Tails off, neglect/insult his inventions, or destroy his house right in front of him.
  • Never refuse to buy a flower from Aeris, and especially don't call Sephiroth "Sephy" because only she's allowed to call Sephy "Sephy".
  • Don't call Sonic crazy, or endanger his friends, or remind him that he can't fly, glide, swim, teleport, or anything else that'd make him seem inferior to Tails, Knuckles, Shadow, etc.
  • Don't mention Eggman's name (or BE Eggman) in front of Tomoyo Daidouji, Farah Oersted, Daigo Kazama, Kaname Chidori, and many others.
  • Shadow doesn't like Knuckles...
  • Akuma has Davis. Everything he does annoys him, but he won't let anyone else kill Davis...
• Big Bad: The Moon Kingdom in the last few chapters of CRONIES and Eggman Adventures, but its their benefactors, The Axis of Evil, who are revealed to be behind the assault. In TRY, it's straight-up the Axis of Evil.
• Big "NO!": Used to some effect at times. Sometimes seriously, sometimes for a laugh.
• Bizarro Universe: "The Inter-Companions" feel like this to the Cronies. Because of their kindness, they even make Amy defect from the Cronies... until she discovers their twisted tendencies and they decide that the world isn't worth saving...
• Brilliant, but Lazy: The Cronies, when they have to, can really put their game faces on and save the day, but they really wish they could just be lazy and just do whatever they want. Their laziness, however, can put them at a disadvantage in the beginning, and it usually takes a beating or an Amy-abduction for them to get their act together. Averted during TRY, where they actually try to stop their enemies on the first try.
  • Kirby and Reid Hershel have always been this. Prominent and deadly fighters, but the former just wants to eat and sleep all day, and the latter wants to stick to his carefree and simple schedule.
• Bullet Hell: Amy suffered under one when she was piloting the Ikaruga against Eggman's automated battle fleet. The Boss Ship fired rainbow-colored beams and bullets at her...
• Cluster F-Bomb: Characters are not shy when it comes to swears...
• Comedic Sociopathy: Present throughout, though Shadow and Tails are the major offenders.
• Continuity Nod: So many, since the series accepts most of the Sonic games as having happened, as well as continuities from games, anime, and even within the contained Cronies universe as well.
  • One important example: the existence of the rap crew who rapped for Knuckles's stages during Sonic Adventure 2. They rap the opening of the first opening theme for CRONIES episodes, and again for the CRONIES TRY theme. They also DESTROY Donkey Kong's Rap Crew...
  • The mention of the Space Colony ARK, of Station Square, of Chaos destroying Station Square, of Amy's apartment in Central City, etc.
  • Davis living with Akuma on his secluded island after the events of "Eggman... on ICE!!!"
  • Cream saying that Amy used to be so much nicer, before Sega magically aged her 4 years for Sonic Adventure.
• Cool Car: The Cronari. It has jet engines inside it so it could go really fast. It was a given since without it, Sonic and friends would just be able to outrun it. Lasts until the beginning of Cronies TRY. There's also the Cro-boat, complete with tank treads for on-land purposes, the Cro-sub (which is a supremely upgraded version of Tails's Sea-Fox submarine), and the space-faring Cro-shuttle, capable of travel all the way to Pioneer 2 and the planet Ragol.
• Creepy Doll: Tails Doll, of the "psychic monster" variety.
  Metal Sonic: It hugged me and didn't dismantle me on touch, so I guess its on my side! I'm actually kinda grateful about that.

Eldritch Abomination: "The Deep-Fried Mountain O' Stuff." Diablo broke a tooth eating some of it.

Eggman: It tastes like shit.

• Cutaway Gag: It's present in either the "Next Time, ON..." segments, the rare "Previously, ON..." segments, the commercials themselves, or sometimes in the main story, as described by certain characters. An example was the short skit of how Dr. Eggman tried to kill Doctor Doom because he wasn't paid royalties for all the Doombots he helped make for him.
• Eldritch Abomination: SIX FISH. Thanks to Gauron throwing an intact plastic six-pack holder into the ocean, six normal fish get tangled up inside it. They then start working in tandem to terrorize the sea and eat sharks... Now they're a six-headed, serpentine sea horror, its former shackles now a monstrous collar.
• Era-Specific Personality: Magneto turns up in his relatively ridiculous incarnation from The Fantastic Four (1978).
• Evasive Fight-Thread Episode: Ky shows up to fight Gold Sol and uses the Chaos Emeralds to try and keep up while the Cronies flee in terror. It's unlikely he won, but who can say?
• Expy: Random Person A is pretty much Loud Howard.
• Face–Heel Turn: Knuckles, Shadow, Rouge, and Amy, under Tomoyo's "Eggman Empire", during Eggman Adventures 1 and 2. They changed back after getting defeated. Shadow and Rouge again, at the end of Cronies 9, because they revealed to be working with Eggman all along to aid him in conquering the world. They came back to the good side after Eggman flashed his junk at them for their 'reward'...
• Fan Nickname: In-universe, Sonic has called the giant orca in Emerald Coast 'Dreamcast'.
• Forgot Flanders Could Do That: Knuckles, of all characters, manages to temporarily defeat Manga Yugi by trapping him in a penalty game. This being Knuckles, it eventually backfires.
• Gadgeteer Genius: Tails, as per his nature, but taken up to eleven. All of his vehicles, he's created in spans of either twenty minutes, to the latest of a sleepless night.
  Knuckles: Build us a "Cro-shuttle", stat!
  Tails: Give me twenty minutes!
  Blaze: Twenty minutes?
  Sonic: He's giving us the worst-case scenario. He'll probably be done in five.
• Greasy Spoon: Not exactly grimy, but the notable ones are the Eggman Cafe in Station Square, the Bowser Cafe in the Mushroom Kingdom, and the (comparably nicer) Il Palazzo Cafe in the City of Fukuoka. A more straight-forward example, introduced in Eggman Adventures 10, is "Knuckles the Echidna's Pancakes and Steak: Together at Last!"
• The Gunslinger: Shadow becomes obsessed with his mail-order pistol in time for his self-titled game. Later, Nack the Weasel and Noel Vermillion get in on the act.
• The Heartless: THE Heartless, natch. During Ansem's attacks in Eggman Adventures 5 and 6. And The Nobodies, since Xemnas is in league with The Axis Of Evil.
• Heel–Face Turn: Sometimes, the villains the Cronies defeat will either become their friend, or cut their shit out. Tails personally dubbed this "The Fou Lu Theory".
• Heroes Unlimited: The Associates, consisting of Sephiroth, Sailor Mercury (cementing her Heel–Face Turn), Shiki Tohno, Sousuke Sagara, Xellos, Vectorman, and Captain Placeholder
• I Lied: Played with. Genis and Lloyd, sensing that Raine was coming for them, told outrageous half-truths to Captain Falcon to dehumanize her, like teaching in a one-room schoolhouse, continuously slapping the both of them, beating Lloyd to the point that his digestive tract doesn't work properly, and even going as far as saying that Genis was molested many times by her, especially to Lloyd's surprise. After Captain Falcon saves the both of them from Raine, Genis is surprised to hear that she really DID molest Genis at least twice, while he was sleeping. Lloyd believes it's Karma using his voodoo powers to punish Genis for lying to Captain Falcon. Genis, however...
• I See Dead People: Sakura Kinomoto's brother, Touya. In "Jonny Quest Vs. Li Syaoran", he sics his ghostly undead buddies on Syaoran. Touya ultimately lost.
• I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: Davis gave up a chance to be in a relationship with Yolei (someone he really liked), because he knew Ken liked her as well, and he doesn't like hurting his friends...
• Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Most of the times, when it's ever brought up, it's subtle.
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: Except for...
  Tails: Oops, sorry! I certainly didn't want to insult our readers' intelligence.
  Knuckles: Yeah, all two of them!
  Shadow: Dude, fourth wall!
  Knuckles: KNUCKLES CLIMBS ALL WALLS! ESPECIALLY THE FOURTH!
  • And this little gem from Eggman Adventures 10:
  Eggman: And why the hell am I not the main feature in this final chapter?
  Sonic: CUZ YOU'RE ALWAYS MOOCHING OFF OF US IN THE CRONIES CHAPTERS!!
  Eggman: I'M HILARIOUS!!
• The Movie: Eggman Adventures Episode 5 was the prelude leading into the lengthy and epic Episode 6, and is thusly titled "The Movie".
  • In terms of length and mass, "Eggman... on ICE!!!" is also considered a movie, especially since it took the writers almost a full year to finish it.
• The Münchausen: Just like Nabeshin, Dr. Eggman apparently knows everyone in the universe, whether they think of him as good or evil. Except he never knew who Nabeshin was until he met him for the first time.
• Non Sequitur: The Eggman Empire commercials and the next episode previews are usually disconnected from the actual chapters themselves, often being about Eggman's antics and/or events that will obviously never happen in the story itself.
• Noodle Incident: We'll never get to figure out how some people, like Shadow and Sephiroth, know what Eggman tastes like.
• Not So Stoic: Ky Kiske tends to lose his grip on the Sanity Ball whenever Jam plays her Ms. Fanservice routine, and Sol remains his Berserk Button. Ion also lost his cool after getting kicked in the nuts by Luke.
• Oh, Crap!: Many moments where this has been invoked.
• Power Trio: Eggman, Bowser, and Il Palazzo, whenever they team up. Eggman usually comes up with his villainous plans, Il Palazzo calls out the flaws, and Bowser's in the middle of either agreeing with Eggman, or siding with Il Palazzo (although the three of them are pretty much even with each other). They are quite a dangerous trio when they get their gamefaces on, though. Eggman's the Mad Scientist with a lot of guns; Bowser's The Brute and has his vast minions and fire powers. And Il Palazzo retains his subtle badass stylings as he uses magic and guns. And since they were friends since high school, the three of them pretty much get each other. All three of them have also, at times, reduced themselves to being bumbling idiots who go off tangent.
• The Scrappy: In-universe, Chris Thorndyke to the Cronies. Amy Rose even ditches him over at Jam Kuradoberi's restaurant to get rid of him, leaving an annoyed Sonic to go rescue him. Also Nickelback and Theory of a Deadman.
• Seinfeldian Conversation: When the first chapter alone begins with Sonic and Shadow arguing about the ending to the second Cardcaptor Sakura film before segueing into Sonic asking Shadow how exactly does he know what Eggman tastes like, you should expect these kinds of conversations a lot.
• She Is Not My Girlfriend: And she isn't.
  Sonic: WHAT?! Amy's... NOT... MY FLOOZY!!!
• Ship Tease: For many, many pairings. Knuckles/Rouge is tossed around a lot, Rouge toys and flirts with Tails, Amy thinks too much about losing Sonic to Blaze, Luigi doesn't like how Mario has Peach and hates being reminded he has Daisy to look forward to, Captain Falcon tries constantly to get on Samus's good side, Edge can't seem to get Akira to notice him, etc. Given the dysfunctional relationships, it seems appropriate that X and Alia are the closest thing to a normal relationship.
• Shock and Awe: Sailor Jupiter, Ky and Luigi (green fire from Mario Kart: Double Dash!!, and his lightning abilities from Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga)
• Shout-Out: So, so, SO many to count, especially from games, anime, and other various sources. Three chapters alone are a tribute to Phantasy Star Online.
• Skyward Scream: Sometimes used seriously, sometimes for hilarity.
• Sorting Algorithm of Evil: Strewn around. The first villain they come across? Archie Andrews, and he was merely just stealing a bank. The second antagonist? Sephiroth. That's a major jump up from a geeky ginger teenager. But then when you follow it up after with Tomoyo Daidouji manipulating the Eggman Empire, the Cronies' bizarro counterparts, and Mr. Game and Watch shortly after, you'll think "How the 'EFF' did Sephiroth lose to Sonic and friends?"
• The Stoic: Averted with Metal Sonic's Mecha-Hisui he stole and reprogrammed.
• Super Mode: Sonic, Tails, Knuckles, and Shadow became Super once again to defeat a really pissed-off Sephiroth.
• The Tape Knew You Would Say That: Tails had a tape recorded and set up in case Eggman betrayed Sonic and friends as expected. It corrected one of Sonic's overreactions, told Sonic and Shadow not to name his Ikaruga a stupid Cronies-type name, and at three separate times, told Knuckles to stop reading the fox-boy's hidden porn cache and pay attention. Third time around, however...
  Knuckles: Oh, fuck you, Tails, you're a pre-recorded image!
  (Suddenly, a tiny laser is emitted from the magazine to Knuckles's head. Knuckles's eyes roll back and he falls to the floor, convulsing.)
  Shadow: Cool! I want one of those!
• Terrible Trio: The heads of the Axis of Evil: Eggboy, Xemnas, and the head of Monopoly himself, Mr. Moneybags...
• The Thing That Would Not Leave: Dr. Eggman, and to a lesser extent, the rest of the Cronies to Tails. They all crash at his house in the Mystic Ruins, eat his food, mess up his place, and occasionally lead to having his precious house destroyed. All while they dub it as their base.
  • Theory of a Deadman, to Dormammu.
  Dormammu: "And I JUST got rid of them, too..."
• Time Paradox: Silver's ill-fated attempt to rid the world of Sonic the Hedgehog (2006) leads Tails to try to explain the concept, with little success.
• Too Dumb to Live: Sometimes other characters will have moments where lapse into this, but Knuckles is the biggest contender, followed closely at times by Eggman.
• Took a Level in Badass: Nack the Weasel appears in the most recent chapter, having stepped up from his pathetic cork gun to a Hyperspace Arsenal of assault rifles, pistols, sniper rifles...you get the idea. Amy responds in alarm to the change. Anzu also stepped up from being a hanger-on of Yugi Muto, to being a respected Space Pirate commander.
• Transformation Trinket: Captain Falcon's helmet - in his "normal" form, he's actually a sane, polite gentlemen - but his attacks are useless.
• Transforming Mecha: Three components make up the almighty and devastating Grand Omelet Deluxe, aka, G.O.D.
• Two Lines, No Waiting: Most chapters will shift away from the focus of the main characters to the other characters and their subplots. Sometimes the plots will coincide, the heroes will meet up, and they'll work together to kick the crap out of the villains.
• Unreliable Narrator: Knuckles and Tomo became these when they were telling their made-up flashbacks that tried to make themselves look good after a considerable mess-up. Shadow and, surprisingly enough, Osaka are reliable narrators when they tell the correct flashbacks.
• Unsettling Gender-Reveal: Just like what happened to Johnny, Knuckles discovered Bridget's true gender due to a not-so-innocent grope.
  Knuckles: Must bleach hands until burning!
  • Kaname and Farah also got embarrassed when they were charmed by Haruhi Fujioka.
• Updated Re-release: The chapters that are listed on deviantArt are slightly polished up compared to the originals, and have had little modern touches added to them as well. One example is the adding of "Next Time" skits to Cronies TRY 5 and 6. Another is having Tuxedo Mask trying to summon Dormammu instead of Diablo (the net result of summoning Theory of a Deadman is still there).
• Villain: Exit, Stage Left: Pretty much why Sephiroth (as well as Aeris) made their first appearances in this series.
  Sephiroth: In my world, I was the main antagonist. I died. Just think about this: if you're evil, you don't want to die! So I said to myself, "Fuck it, I'm leaving!"
• Monster of the Week: Every episode or two-parter has a central villain of the episode, unless it involves the Big Bad.
• What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: Discussed during the Moon Kingdom arc during Sailor Mercury's Heel–Face Turn - Shadow nearly kills her for it!

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