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Straw Hat Pirates
Monkey Dee LuffyA 45-year-old rubber man who talks like Sean Connery, who happens to be the "hero" of the story.
- Abusive Parents: He claims that his parents hated him because they gave him the name "Monkey". However, he also claims that they were a test tube and his mother was a rubber band, and he's very bad at recollecting his past, so anything he says should be taken with a grain of salt.
- Artificial Human: May be this, if his claims that his father was a test tube and his mother was a rubber band are true.
- Berserk Button: Messing with his hat, as per usual. Also, messing with Mr. Fuzzy Flippers. Also, ninjas.
- Big Ol' Eyebrows: Whenever he needs to be angry, but there's nothing available in the source material.
- Brave Scot: Luffy, who has the voice of Sean Connery.
- Violent Glaswegian: Often falls into this, though.
- Breath Weapon: Has been known to spit up knives and exploding cats on occasion.
- Cloud Cuckoolander
- Cuteness Proximity: Completely ignores Captain Morgan in favor of watching a video of a baby seal on his iPhony.
- Driven to Suicide: Nami pushes him to this twice in episode four.
- Even Crazy Has Standards: When Zoro mentions that he'd suck a fart out of Miss Kaya's ass, Luffy stays silent for a moment before calmly responding that he wouldn't.
- Exact Words: When Usopp says that they need to warn everyone about a pirate attack, Luffy takes it to mean everyone, including the pirates themselves.
- Gag Penis: "I have a rubber penis."
- Happy Dance: Does a sarcastic one in episode five.
- Heroic Comedic Sociopath: "Those passengers aren't gonna kill themselves, you know."
- Hired Guns: Revealed in Soul Whatever - "Third Earth" that Jeremiah hired him to kill Lelouch in episode seven of None Piece, (episode fifteen of Ment), as revenge for being killed by Lelouch.
- Medium Awareness: He can hear the narrator, and finds out Zoro's full name this way.
- Multiple-Choice Past: As Zoro can attest, he's very bad at recollecting his past.Zoro: Yeah dude, don't bother. I got dinosaurs and Rihanna last time.
- Never Learned to Read: Struggles to read the disclaimer in episode three.
- Nice Hat: Don't touch it.
- No Indoor Voice
- No, You: His response to Zoro calling him "Monkey Dumbfoot Luffy".No, your foot is dumb.
- Older Than They Look: He's 45-years-old yet looks like he's 16. When questioned on this, he responds with "you try getting wrinkles being made of rubber".
- Rubber Man: Everything is made of rubber. Yes, even that.
- They Fight Crime!: With Shanks in a flashback in episode three.
- Unreliable Narrator: Don't ask him about his past. You'll end up with a combination of several movie plots, dinosaurs, and Rihanna. Luffy even admits he's bad at recollecting his past.
- What Did I Do Last Night?: Towards the end of Episode "5". According to Zoro, he ran around naked talking about politics.
Zolo ZoroThe sword user of the group, and rival to Luffy in terms of sheer insanity.
- Abusive Parents: Much like Luffy, he claims that his parents hated him because they named him Zolo Zoro.
- Attention Whore: When everyone starts yelling, he'll join in even if he doesn't have anything to yell about. In practice, this results in him yelling about the fact that he's yelling. And then there's this:"Wow, Usopp's girlfriend is loaded out the butthole. DUDE, I SAID BUTTHOLE!"
- Cargo Ship: He wants to make sweet sugary love to Aunt Jemimah.
- Daydream Surprise: He briefly thinks he's defeated Buggy's first mate in a Single-Stroke Battle. Turns out it was a blood loss induced hallucination, and his momentary distraction got him stabbed a second time.
- Deflector Shield: He has one around his head that appeared when Luffy threw an apple at him.
- The Ditz: He's more consistently unhinged than Luffy.
- Food Porn: He talks dirty to the pancakes he eats in episode five.
- Harmful to Minors: "Hey you kids wanna be on fire?"
- Insane Troll Logic: When Usopp states that they should protect the villagers, Zoro says he already took care of it, because you can't get touched when you're on fire.
- Iron Butt Monkey: Takes the most damage of the group.
- Last-Name Basis: Everyone calls him Zoro, despite this being his last name.
- Made of Iron: Takes a sniper bullet in the back, and it doesn't even break the skin.
- Man on Fire: After he spills beer all over himself, Nami lights him on fire. He then proceeds to ignite an entire town.
- Sanity Ball: Hangs onto it for the entirety of episode 9, questioning the entire idea of Second Christmas.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Pancakes.
NamiA kleptomaniac who serves as Luffy's navigator.
- Accidental Marriage: She manages to rope Luffy into one. They go on a honeymoon immediately afterwards.
- Covert Pervert: During a subversion of an Only Sane Man moment…Nami: Why am I on this crew again?Luffy: Look, I have a rubber penis…Nami: Aaaaaah.
- Cross-Dressing Voices: If you listen closely, you'll notice that Nami is voice by a very high-pitched male.
- Deadpan Snarker: Has a brief moment in episode six.Luffy: Don't be a wise guy, Zoro!Nami: I don't think he's in danger of that.
- Only Sane Man: Crazy as she is, she does have a couple moments (though as pointed out above, one of them is subverted).
- Out of Character: In the original One Piece, Nami originally hated pirates (it took a while for her to warm up to Luffy and join his crew) and often served as the Only Sane Man to the other characters' wacky antics. Here, she joins Luffy's crew instantly without any animosity (she even marries Luffy for no explained reason) and turns out to be just as much a Cloud Cuckoolander as the others.
- Sanity Ball: Picks it up whenever one of the crew needs to be sane for a moment. Whether this will stick now that Usopp has joined the crew remains to be seen.
- Shameless Fanservice Girl: One of the first things she asks Luffy is if he can see down her shirt. When he answers no, she leans forward a bit and asks "How 'bout now?"
- The Voiceless: She appears in the first episode, but doesn't say a word until she appears in episode three.
- Yandere: If this bit of dialogue at the beginning of episode four is any indication.Nami: Oh, pay him no mind, *whispering* unless you want to die.
Kirk UsoppA long nosed loser fawning over Miss Kaya.
- Ambiguously Brown: According to Kaya, he looks like a racist version of Geppetto's bastard child.
- Badass Boast: Which he shits himself during.
- Bring My Brown Pants: He poops himself in episode seven, thinking he was "ripping ass".
- Butt-Monkey: No one respects Usopp.
- Gag Nose: See above.
- Not So Above It All: In his introduction in episode five, he has a bad reputation in town for tickling people's butts while they're asleep (which he admits to as he runs away).
- Only Sane Man: Next to Nami, he's the most sensible person in the series.
- What the Hell, Hero?: When Luffy gives away their position to Django and Kuro, Usopp calls him out on it.
SanjiA cook who shits on customers and works for Kris Kringle.
- Ambiguously Jewish: He sounds a lot like Mel Brooks.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Complain a little? Prepare to have your twin brother come out of his ass. Or get your ship blown up with lasers.
- Early-Bird Cameo: Made his debut in Code MENT by blowing up a warship with a laser after a man complained about steak.
- Insane Troll Logic: Shits on the customers because badmouthing their cuisine is like shitting on them.
- Toilet Humor: Serves up fart salad to the customers. "They'll be gettin' it fresh!"
"Iron Mace" AlvidaThe very first enemy that Luffy faces.
- Berserk Button: Though she lacks her Proud Beauty traits from the original show, Alvida still doesn't take kindly to Luffy bluntly calling her a "fat bitch".
- Cross-Dressing Voices / Evil Sounds Deep: She speaks in a hilariously deep, masculine voice.
- Fat Bitch: Luffy calls her as such.
BuggyA clown pirate terrorizing a small town.
- The Comically Serious: He's played surprisingly straight, in contrast to his canonical portrayal.
- Detachment Combat
- Monster Clown: "I be a clown pirate."
- Also, he's from space.
- Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?: How he meets his end.
KuroMiss Kaya's butler, and partner in crime with Django.
- Berserk Button: Being told that being a butler for three years was not important. Also, apparently the goat-butler.Kuro: (to Django) "Well it may not be a big deal to you, but outside your contact, the only people I've been able to hang out with are some weird annoying girl and a goddamned lamb-man! Let me repeat that: a GODDAMNED LAMB-MAN! He's a ***ing man and a lamb. I have nothing in common with a person like that! What could I possibly talk to him about? "Oh yeah, how much do you sell your wool for in the market, I got jack shit because my dad didn't *** a sheep!"Django: "Ya don't have to be an asshole."
- The Butler Did It
- Comically Missing the Point: "Why was I a butler for three years? Why couldn't it have been, like, one and a half?"
- Fridge Logic: In-universe. When talking with Django, he asks why he was a butler for three years.
- Obviously Evil: Luffy calls him out on this the second he sees him.
- Single-Stroke Battle: Luffy takes him out in one hit.
- Wolverine Claws: Which he uses to steal the goat butler's ball sack.
DjangoOne of the leaders of a group of pirates that go around spaying cats.
- Cloud Cuckoolander
- Expy: Of Christopher Walken.
- Only Sane Man: Surprisingly, despite his own ludicrous behavior, even he gets fed up with the Straw Hat Pirates' antics.
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: Done with unusual pauses in his words, as part of his being an expy of Christopher Walken. Kuro thinks it's a tumor.
- Zany Scheme: Has a plan to steal Miss Kaya's property that involves rounding up fifty goats and unleashing them onto her property in order to ruin her lawn. How this allows them to steal her property is never explained. Makes even less sense when it is revealed that property in this context refers to the goat butler's ball sack.
Don KringleThe brother of Chris Kringle, who celebrates Second Christmas by robbing people.
- Bad Santa: Robs people on Second Christmas.
- Cain and Abel: The Cain to Chris' Abel.
- Luckily, My Shield Will Protect Me: His giant spiky "Cloak of Second Christmas". But in this case, no. It doesn't.
- Paper Tiger: He looks big and tough, but Luffy utterly destroys him.
- Roaring Rampage of Revenge: On Second Christmas, he robs people as revenge for getting kicked out of the North Pole.
HelmeppoThe spoiled, cowardly son of Captain Morgan.
- Abusive Parents: His dad essentially treats him somewhat worse than he did in the original show. He flat out tells Helmeppo that he deserved to get hit for wearing a purple suit, and later on, Morgan hits him again for no explained reason.
- Ambiguously Gay
- Camp Gay: He even has a lisp and fabulous purple suit.
- Disproportionate Retribution: The reason Zoro punched him? He was wearing a purple suit out in public.
- Smug Snake
- Spoiled Brat
- Spontaneous Choreography: After eating a rice ball meant for Zoro, he starts "dancing"note to Born This Way by Lady Gaga.
- Tacky Tuxedo: Zoro decks him for wearing a purple suit in public. And after Luffy punches him, Morgan asks if he was wearing the purple suit. The second he begins saying "yes", Morgan tells him he deserved it.
Captain "Axe-Hand" MorganA corrupt marine captain who has an axe for a hand.
- An Axe to Grind: And according to Morgan, it's good for two things…Morgan: Lumberjacking, (dicingonions) and executing traitors of the state.
- Deadpan Snarker: He's more akin to this than a Bad Boss like he was in the original show.
- Genre Savvy: "Son, I look like a Bond villain and there's someone running around who talks like Sean Connery! Shit is about to go down!"
- Surrounded by Idiots: "I'm up to my tits in morons."
CobyA former member of the Alvida crew and temporary member of Luffy's crew.
- Accidental Misnaming: He's constantly referred to as "Cody".
- Butt-Monkey: He takes quite a bit of abuse throughout the first three episodes.
- The Load: He doesn't do much other than untie Zoro. Luffy is quick to point this out in episode two.Luffy: Cody, you're useless.
- Only Sane Man: Very much so. For one, he's the only one who shows genuine concern when the boat he and Luffy are on in the beginning of episode two spontaneously combusts for no reason.
- Put on a Bus: He's last seen left at the mercy of the marines when Luffy and Zoro leave the island, having been forgotten.
Voiced by: LittleKuribohAn alcoholic millionaire playboy who was on the brink of an arranged marriage to a wealthy single woman when he met Luffy. Together with Luffy, he fought illegal narcotics and crime lords in the mean starts of LA. (Dammit Autocorrect!) Oh, and he gave Luffy his hat. Then again, given that Luffy is the only source of information on the matter, it should probably be taken with a grain of salt.
- The Alcoholic
- Cool Shades: Wears a pair of aviators.
- How Do I Shot Web?: While explaining the epiphany he's just had to Luffy, he discovers that he has the ability to spawn egg and waffle sandwiches out of his hand.
- Pals with Jesus: Is seen drinking with him at the end of episode 9. He also farts in his beer.
- They Fight Crime!: He and Luffy used to fight crime lords together.
- Toxic Friend Influence: Invites a very young Luffy to get drunk with him.
Miss KayaA rich girl and Usopp's not-girlfriend.
- Dark and Troubled Past: Her parents were killed by pillows.*To a pillow* I hope your entire family gets molested.
- Only Sane Woman: Especially in Episode 14.5.
Chef Zeff/Chris KringleThe head chef of Baratie. Contracted a mental disorder from Sanji sleeping on his leg.
- An Arm and a Leg: Sawed off his right leg to avoid Sanji's retardation from spreading to his brain. Turns out he sawed off the wrong one.
- Cain and Abel: The Abel to Don's Cain.
- Cloud Cuckoolander: Most of what he says is completely nonsensical. It's probably Sanji's fault. Apparently Sanji's retardation spread up his leg.
- Wham Line:Chris Kringle: Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
- Your Head Asplode: After years of not ho, ho hoing, the overload causes his head to explode.