Favorite lines from your own writing

I like that - I'm going to use it in the office.

" 'I dream of a remote that can silence my critics within a single click.' mused Raven. "

" So... a gun? "

"He had been dubbed 'Beatworthy,' because he deserved to be beaten."

Edited by dvorak on Dec 12th 2022 at 9:30:56 AM

This is still one of my favorite bits from Beyond the Borders:

"Hey, you had several minutes to point out that lighting the bar on fire might result in the bar being on fire."

Edited by wingedcatgirl on Sep 17th 2020 at 7:02:13 AM

[answering a question about a curse on her] "Yes it would," Varla answered, with all the rote weariness of a computer programmer seeking help who had answered "Have You Tried Rebooting?" a thousand times.

Edited by Miss_Desperado on Sep 18th 2020 at 5:48:21 AM

"Think of the culprit's lies as a shirt with a single thread sticking out. And if you pull on it hard enough... BAM! It all falls apart, as they catch themselves red handed."

Edited by Awe921 on Oct 2nd 2020 at 12:55:10 PM

[The Magic Sword, Knightfall, has a habit of taking over the mouth of its wielder, Eduardo the Wizard, when it has something to say. It has just finished reciting a myth relevant to the plot to the Patrician who is commanding the adventurers, and his Magician, Bombini.]

The Patrician gave Bombini a questioning look. “Is this correct?” The magician nodded hurriedly.

“OF COURSE IT’S CORRECT. I AM A SODDING MAGIC SWORD, FORGED FROM STAR METAL, A GIFT FROM THE GOD OF LIGHTNING!”

“I could have you melted down.”

“Try It Sunny-Jim” The sword retorted. “Might Want To Find Out What Happened To The Last Person Who Tried To Melt A Magic Star-Metal Sword.”

“They didn’t locate enough pieces to find out,” said Bombini quickly.

The Patrician raised an eyebrow. “Of the smith?”

“Of the building.”

Edited by Last_Hussar on Oct 7th 2020 at 8:20:02 PM

Silver rushed past the enforcers without looking at them, keeping her head down like the rest of the citizens. Cars rushed by, sending dirty water flying. She felt a few splash on her cheek. But it wasn’t raining too hard- the streets were hardly flooding- so she just kept walking.

She tried hard not to stare at the buildings she passed, the ones that were just on the edge of looking like slums. There were too many of them. It was easier to ignore them when she was in a car, and they were blurs. Silver couldn’t imagine the people who lived in them. She almost had to thank the enforcers who were monitoring the flow of pedestrians, because otherwise, she would have been compelled to investigate a bit further.

The people around her were also a bit hard to look at. Some were hardly even wearing adequate clothing, and were exposed to the cold, heavy raindrops. Others were a bit better off, but still had the exhausted, dull-eyed look she had become used to seeing in the city workers. She became conscious of her designer coat, and wondered how badly she stuck out, how the other citizens may see her as she walked alongside them in clothes that actually kept her warm. She sighed, and tried not to dwell on the thoughts.

Edited by WarJay77 on Oct 9th 2020 at 1:30:45 PM

"Who would make or wear a suit made out of carbon nanotubes?"

"A show-off, that's who. Carbon nanotubes are more useful in an orbital elevator cable than a suit."

Ashlau Dimodeus shares his backstory. Ashlau is one of the Forsworn Lords, a group of evil ancient mage-kings. He was always the odd man out, a barely effective villain who even ends up in an Enemy Mine with the heroes due to his own stupidity. How could this guy end up in the same company as the Forsworn Lords?;

"As far as I'm concerned, she's just a human with a prosthetic everything."

-Said by cyberized soldier, referring to a Ridiculously Human Robot.

Sometimes, the fly doesn't just step into the spider's parlor, but lays down on the plate and takes a bath in barbecue sauce.

"Come on, you old degenerate!" Two of the men in red hats kicked the badly deformed, street dwelling old man. "Who the hell are you? Say something you mouthy bastard! We know we heard you make a remark!"

The old man's left ear was sharper than his right, which bent backward, his nose curling forward and protruding with huge nostrils, teeth uneven and sharp, mouth protruding a bit, eyes large and unblinking. His black clothes were in tatters and in many layers, covering up the other deformities.

"You can call me Absalom. Mistaken, deceived, cast-out son of David." The old man responded. A sharp wind blew through.

"Let's beat 'im up, Fergus..." The first red hat looked at the other, and saw only a stump for a deck, oozing blood. "F-Fergus!?"

Absalom held the decapitated head in one hand, "I've been around long, long before "America" was ever a concept. And I can't say it was EVER great, at any point." The other man started to turn and run...only for another wind to blow. And this time, the other man slowly slid in half.

"Antagonize a Vampire Ancient. What an idea writ in lovely stupidity."

Edited by NickTheSwing on Oct 29th 2020 at 3:33:47 AM

“This is neither the time, nor the place, nor the time.”

“You said time twice.”

“Dammit!”

From my House of Anubis fanfic. Patricia and Piper are talking about cooking hotdogs for a party:

“They’re coming out so bad,” the girl in the sinner disguise complained. “Why did I agree to do this?”

“Look on the bright side! Maybe this will teach Joy to not ask you to do things anymore,” Patricia said, cheerfully.

“You’re not helping.”

Edited by WarJay77 on Nov 1st 2020 at 12:30:26 PM

Came up with this bit recently that may or may not make it into my Pokemon Super Fic:

???: *walks out of a phone booth after making a phone call* ...What?

April: Oh, nothing. I just can't remember the last time I saw someone use a phone booth for its intended purpose.

"Let me ask you something. Have you ever watched a Slasher Movie?"

"Er, no."

"The basic premise is that an unkillable maniac goes through a college camping trip like a dodgy taco. Now, imagine an army of these unstoppable, undead psychopaths, all of them gunning for your head, squiddie."

"Oh, you know, football, cow-tipping, illegal drugs (word to the wise, Clem's got the best stuff)."

Edited by dvorak on Sep 22nd 2021 at 12:00:29 PM

"No. The Last Pack's march will only stop when my mind burns out, or all of them are dead. What makes you think you have any right to argue with me about the human race's fate after years of sitting on your asses? Years of sitting by and preaching your doctrine of non-intervention and choosing to 'protect' the werewolves over living, breathing humans! No, I will be the savior humanity deserves, since I am the only one with the power and the balls to wield it's only weapon! The only ones who should be killing humans...are other humans. I will do what is necessary to ensure that day comes. I meant what I said before: get in my way, and you'll be my enemies, just like everyone else."

The furious Motive Rant by my protagonist turned god-like Big Bad after the new heroes confront him to ask him nicely to stop his complete destruction of The Masquerade and rampant slaughter of every vampire in the world.

Edited by Swordofknowledge on Nov 14th 2020 at 8:43:24 AM

More Patricia and Piper shenanigans, feat. Eddie!

“...Well,” Eddie said, getting up from the couch and stretching his arms. “I’d love to stay and continue listening, but I’ve gotta go.”
Piper frowned, hoping their bickering wasn’t driving them out. “Where are you going?”
“Lunch. Fabian offered. I think he still wants to apologize.” He shrugged as he grabbed the keys and walked toward the door. “It’s free food, so I’m going either way. Have fun.”
“We won’t,” Patricia called back to him.
He smirked and waved goodbye as he left.
“Great,” her sister complained. “He’s getting lunch, and we’re going to die.”
“I’m sure we can think of something.” Patricia’s eyes lit up and she seemed to want to speak up, but Piper interrupted. “Without destroying the apartment?” She slumped back down and rolled her eyes.
“At least I’m thinking of something.”

Edited by WarJay77 on Nov 15th 2020 at 3:02:20 PM

As soon as she spots him, her eyes narrow, and Colin has the distinct feeling of being prey for a very scary predator.

possession is fun!

I'm working on Book 3 of a sci-fi realism series (think 100% character-driven sci-fi: no AI/robots, no aliens, no epic space battles, no dystopia or Evil Government, no massive glass jungles of cities; just normal people living their lives in the future The worldbuilding behind this is explained a bit better in the books themselves)

Kata raised his head to focus fully on Alan, his face a sudden mask. "What they did to me, do you think I should have fought back? That I should have made them sorry they picked me?"

Alan thought that anyone who had been lucky enough to survive what the media had dubbed the Sanderson Slaughter was probably plenty sorry already, but before he had a chance to voice this particular opinion, Kata had already blurted out his real question.

"Was it my fault, what happened to me? Since I didn't defend myself, I pretty much gave them permission to do this to me."

"Did someone at the field hospital say that to you?" If they had, Alan was going to rip them a new one just as soon as he got back. There were some things you never said. Questions that should never, ever be asked.

"No."

That left precisely one other candidate, and a tiny spark of anger flashed inside Alan. If Kata's father had told him that, it was no wonder the kid wasn't much inclined to socialize with him.

"Good. And no, it wasn't your fault."

Kata let out a low laugh that went on a little too long for Alan's liking. "Uh huh. Sure. I should've fought back the first time they jabbed me."

"Do you really think they would have let you go if you had?"

"They'd have beaten me until I couldn't see straight, but maybe I'd have felt better about myself. More human." Kata drew in a rather ragged breath and looked at the bulkhead. He'd gotten very familiar with it during his self-imposed exile. "And Dennison-he always said that I must have consented to their treatment, since I didn't seriously fight it."

"No." Alan put everything he could into the word. It didn't matter if Kata never believed a single thing he said ever again, not if he could just persuade the kid to believe this. "I don't care what they teach you on Trandellia, I don't care what they told you in that place: torture and abuse are never the victim's fault, and if you ask every single person on this ship and in the field hospital, you won't find one who'll disagree. You didn't consent to their treatment; you submitted to it. There's a hell of a difference."

Kata looked away. "I wish I could believe that."

"I wish you could too," Alan said very quietly.

"Babies can't enter cryostasis."

"I didn't think of that." Kata, who had been four when his sister was born and paid very little attention to her at the time, conjured up a mental image of their ship. "It should be fine, though. Babies don't take up much space."

Barrett, whose four children had produced a brood of seven grandchildren, chuckled. "No, lad, babies don't take up much space. The crib, the diapers, the disposal unit for used diapers, the baby formula, the baby clothes, the toys, the stroller, the blankets and whatever else I've forgotten to mention all need a fair amount of room, but babies themselves are rather small."

"How did you get here?" Alan demanded.

"Well, you see-" Kata cleared his throat- "when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much-"

'No no! It hurts; why is it hurting? How c...how could this...how could this happen to me? I'm supposed to be the greatest hunter who ever lived! Everything I've...Damn you, Ulfrik I can't be defeated by a pathetic creature like you. And you...you Beckers...what do you think you're looking at? You think you've won anything? You're nothing but cattle! Seeds for old lady's Gardens! Stop looking at me like that! Stop looking at me, stop looking at me, stop looking at meeeeee".

The final words of Syor Harel one of the Big Bad's two Co-Dragons and a Complete Monster extraordinaire as he is Eaten Alive by his own white porzite armor that had been turned against him by a man who knows the crystal inside and out.

Shin Oumitsunu, the speech to the prospective 317th members;

Sam and Shin;

Edited by NickTheSwing on Dec 3rd 2020 at 4:59:45 AM

one of my favorite gags is an excess of Scare Quotes