Recap / The Simpsons Hit & Run

'Twas a regular day in Springfield when ominous robotic wasps with built-in camcorders descend from above. One makes its way into household of The Simpsons, only for Homer to swat and stomp it to pieces.

Level 1

• Cola Caper: Several floating coins bearing a strange symbol emerge from the wreckage, but Homer's attention shifts a commercial for New and Improved Buzz Cola emblazoned with the very same symbol (not that Homer notices).
  Marge also requests a tub of ice cream (we can't imagine who completely ate the last one), prompting a quick trip to the Kwik-E-Mart and back.

1. S-M-R-T: Before Homer can enjoy his snacks, Marge tasks him with bringing Lisa her science project before class starts. After racing to Springfield Elementary before Principal Skinner gets there, the impromptu delivery is a success, and Marge calls with another request.
2. Petty Theft Homer: Ned Flanders is feeling rather worked-up lately, as someone has stolen several of his belongings! Homer heads off to retrieve them (before he's found out), them being his suit, his lawnmower, his cooler (gifted to Barney... for use as a toilet), his lawn chair, his family photo, and even Rod's inhaler (left on top of a Duff truck). Homer returns them, expecting a reward, to with Ned obliges... in the form of a heartfelt blessing.
3. Office Spaced: Homer's late for work, and it's employee inspection day! Luckily, he hears from Lenny that Smithers is currently at the Kwik-E-Mart, which gives him enough time acquire a vehicle more suited for the task ahead. Barney's Plow King is certainly tough enough to stop Smithers before he gets to the Power Plant.
4. Blind Big Brother: Even with that out of the way, Homer cannot relax with the plant's camera system keeping an eye on his workstation. To solve this problem at it's source, Homer clambers all across Sector 7-G and smash a series of power couplings. With that done, Homer's free to take a well-earned nap... were it not closing time by the time he finished up.
5. Flowers By Irene: Back at home, Homer catches a news report about the Wasp Cameras throwing Springfield into an outrage. In other news, mysterious black vans have been popping up as well.
   Rendered paranoid by the sight of one such Van in Black parked on Evergreen Terrace, Homer makes it his mission to trail the van in search of the culprit... and of course, the trail leads right to Burns' Manor!
6. Bonestorm Storm: Homer heads off to share his findings with Marge, but she's more concerned about the latest Ultra Super Death Gore Fest Chainsawer 3000 hitting the shelves. Homer thus joins her as she bashes up a delivery truck and absconds several copies of the game before returning to his own Zany Scheme.
7. The Fat and Furious: Homer attempts to warn Carl about Mr. Burns' apparent Evil Plan. In doing so, he notices Smithers en route to his Manor, and must get there before he does. He arrives and makes his accusation, only to learn that while Burns may be behind the disappearance of Amelia Earhart, he has no designs on citywide surveillance, and the black vans are just for pizza delivery. That just leaves the question of the Wasp Cameras...

• (Bonus) This Old Shanty: Homer bumps into Cletus (an acquaintance from his dumb-guy support group) and asks he might be able to lend a vehicular hand. Cletus has a few chores to do first, namely collect cardboard tubes (for indoor plumbing) and harvest the Tamacco. With those out of the way, he's free to help.

Level 2

1. Detention Deficit Disorder: Bonestorm II is flying of the shelves to the point that several kids are Skipping School to get their hands on it. Naturally, Bart is among them, but Milhouse warns him that Principal Skinner is on the hunt for these truants. Bart manages to elude him, only to discover that Jimbo swiped the last copy. ("Some crazy lady destroyed the rest!")
2. Weapons of Mass Delinquency: Bart hears from Kearney that illegal fireworks have quickly supplanted Video Games as the delinquent trend du jour, and sets out to procure the finest frog-hoppers and toilet-crackers from Otto, Moe, Snake, and Ralph. The last exchange alerts Chief Wiggum, leaving Bart to evade the long flabby arm of the law.
3. Vox Nerduli: Bart's still hoping to get a-hold of Bonestorm II, and wonders if Comic Book Guy can be of help. Right now he intends to be the first to write a scathing review of the latest McBain movie, and so the race is on to make it to the Java Server before anyone else. Afterwards, he discovers that several copies are currently in the posession of a certain Professor Frink.
4. Bart 'n' Frink: Bart tries to get a copy from Prof. Frink, but he intends to use their violence to program his latest invention. This piques Bart's interest, so he's willing to acquire the rest Frink's supplies, the first of which being a vintage World War II radio. He follows a pizza delivery black van to Herman's Military Antiques, only to learn from Chief that it's just been robbed. Bart manages to track down Snake, who agrees to a race over who gets the radio.
5. Better than Beef: Next on the list is a satellite dish, so Bart heads off to ask a certain slack-jawed yokel for one. Cletus is willing to help, but first he has to gather some "flatmeat" and deliver it to the Krusty Burger, as well as avoid Apu, who doesn't take kindly to the competition.
6. Monkey See Monkey D'oh: Last but not least is a blender. Dr. Nick has one, but he's quite preoccupied when all of his tortured monkeys have Escaped from the Lab! Bart's going to need a roomier vehicle for this job, and Homer's willing to lend Mr. Plow (at a reasonable fee, of course). One wild round-up later, and the components are ready.
7. Cell-Outs: Truckasaurus is ready, but there's one more problem. Ambient cellphone interference could easily turn it into a Murderous Malfunctioning Machine, so Bart has to demolish any cellphone signal-emitting cars.
   At last, Bart finally gets to witness, and narrowly evade, the beast in action. Unfortunately, he isn't so lucky when he's victim to an Alien Abduction...

• (Bonus) Dial B for Blood: Grandpa's WWII Vehicle would be useful, but he's currently low on blood. Fortunately, that's easy to come by in Springfield; the Plasma Center has plenty, Moe's willing to spare some goat blood, and even Squeaky-Voiced Teen can offer some with a side of fries!

Level 3

• Nerd Race Queen: Lisa takes up the search for her brother's whereabouts, starting by asking Comic Book Guy. Thing is, he's preoccupied with another race of nerdiness, this time for the latest ''Itchy & Scratchy" comic. After retrieving the comic (and hurrying back to get it in a mylar bag), Comic Book Guy directs Lisa to the Noiseland Arcade.
• Clueless: At the arcade, Lisa bumps into Milhouse, who claims to have a few suggestions on Bart's whereabouts. She tries Wall-E-Weasel's, the Planet Hype, and the Springfield Sign... only to find Milhouse in each place. With that, she decides to question Apu instead. ^note After kicking the Simpson girl's simp into a conveniently nearby lake...
• Bonfire of the Manatees: Lisa finds Apu to be very distraught; with their new supplier of roadkill, the Krusty Burger is able to sell their sandwiches much cheaper than the Kwik-E-Mart's. Upon knocking several helpings of flat-meat out of Cletus' Pickup Truck, Apu suggests that Prof. Frink may know where Bart is. Frink remembers Bart helping him with Truckasaurus and then disappearing in a mysterious light, but nothing after that. Lisa deduces that she'll have to turn to someone wiser.
• Operation Hellfish: It turns out that Grandpa has the best clue to Bart's whereabouts, having witnessed his lucky red cap fall out of a Black Sedan. Lisa's going to need a heftier vehicle to take on those sedans, and Otto's School Bus should suffice. After a few smash-ups, Lisa discovers that the sedans are completely empty.
• Slithery Sleuthing: Lisa then turns to Chief Wiggum, who is preparing for an undercover mission. Lisa must don her old "cool" clothes for a disguise and join Wiggum in trailing Snake to grab three strikes of evidence of his crimes: counterfeit designer jeans, running over the elderly without a license, and littering. With that dealt with, Wiggum claims to have seen some shady business at the Squidport.
• Fishy Deals: Lisa goes to ask Captain McCallister if he's seen any suspicious activity. He has, but he needs a favor first: deliver a shipment of live mackerel to the Frying Dutchman. Lisa agrees... albeit as a pretense to secretly free the fish in question.
• The Old Pirate and the Sea: With the fish "delivered", McCallister recalls seeing Bart in a strange black limo. When Lisa deals with said limo in the usual way, she assumes that Bart perished in the wreck, until McCallister remembers seeing him get out and board the C-Spanker. Lisa explores the ship, and does indeed find Bart... but his mind has been completely scrambled!
• (Bonus) Princi-Pal: Lisa tries to get Principal Skinner to help with Bart's disappearance, only for Skinner to goad her into helping him pick up a few things: Agnes' dry-cleaning, dinner from the Krusty Burger, and Skinner's "personal items" (anti-fungal cream). In return, Skinner offers his assistance in recovering Bart's, erm, living body.

Level 4

1. For a Few Donuts More: Marge is understandably concerned with Bart's condition, figuring that between that, the Wasp Cameras, the Black Sedans, and now strange Crop Circles, there must be a connection. She heads to the Lard Lad's to ask Chief Wiggum for help, but the store's closed, and without his fix, Wiggum's even more useless than usual. Marge manages to knock some donuts out of a passing truck, and in return, Wiggum directs her towards Cletus.
2. Redneck Roundup: Marge tries to talk with Cletus, but he assumes that's she's a city-slicker from the tabloids and flees. Marge has to follow him and collect any belongings that fall out of his truck as well.
3. Ketchup Logic: Cletus manages to recognize Marge, but he'll need help with his harvest before he's willing to trust her. Marge first needs some clothes more suited to the job, and dusts off her old Institutional Apparel. After collecting ketchup packets and evading a Black Sedan, Cletus remembers his grand-pappy's experience with Crop Circles. 'Course, since grand-pappy's long gone, Marge will have to search the cemetery for anyone else acquainted with the subject.
4. Return of the Nearly-Dead: Sure enough, there is an old fart hiding out among his not-too-eventual neighboors: Hans Moleman, who recommends Marge inquire with Abe Simpson. Of course, she'd better hurry before the police get there and enforce curfew.
5. Wolves Stole my Pills: Marge tries to ask Grandpa about the Crop Circles, but some hoodlums made off with his medication. Marge goes to confront Nelson, who admits to trading the pills with a Black Sedan for an issue of Playdude. It's up to Marge to trail the Sedan and collect the meds as they fall out. Grandpa takes his pills and... falls fast asleep, prompting Marge to head to the Kwik-E-Mart for some wake-up pills.
   Grandpa's doddering description of the Crop Circles he saw — a planet with an antenna — proves identical to the logo on Buzz Cola!
6. The Cola Wars: Marge shows Bart the symbol, and it does indeed restore his mind. He then reveals that this Buzz Cola induces Mind Control, among other craziness, prompting Marge to suit up in her old police uniform and gather as many cans as possible before it brainwashes anyone else!
7. From Outer Space: Marge heads to the Kwik-E-Mart to confront Apu about the tainted Buzz Cola. He admits that he's seen the Cola's erratic effects before, at which point Marge sets out to destroy some Buzz Cola trucks. This incurs Chief Wiggum's wrath, so she must evade him before she can enjoy a job well done.

• (Bonus) Beached Love: Comic Book Guy has been trying to court Agnes Skinner, but since her son doesn't approve of their romance, he's been intercepting his gifts. Marge offers to retrieve said gifts from the Elementary School grounds in exchange for Comic Book Guy's assistance elsewhere.

Level 5

1. Incriminating Caffeine: Apu sets out on a Redemption Quest for selling the tainted Cola. While he cannot find their factory, he is able to trail a Cola Truck, collecting any evidence that falls out, leading him to the Legitimate Businessman's Social Club.
2. & Baby Makes 8: Apu tries to ask Louie about the Cola conspiracy, who "warns" him that sticking his nose in these parts won't be good for his family, If You Know What I Mean. This reminds Apu that he needs to check on the octuplets at the Hospital... and escape The Mob on the way.
3. Eight is Too Much: The octuplets need new diapers, but those aren't covered by Apu's medical insurance, and the parents of the Shelbyville 9 have bought out every diaper in town! Apu will need a bigger vehicle to knock enough diapers out of their van, and only Homer's Powell Motors custom will suffice.
4. This Little Piggy: Apu asks Krusty if he knows anything, who reccomend that he seek out someone better aquainted with the bad side of the law. After donning a more American disguise, following a trail of donuts, and trailing the police themselves, Apu finds his man.
5. Never Trust a Snake: Snake has the info Apu needs, but he'd like some help with his community service before he'll divulge. Apu must pick up plenty of litter all over downtown (including that which fall out of the garbage truck) and make it back to the DMV to get the folder.
6. Kwik Cash: Hey, the folder is empty! Snake has a little more "community service" that needs doing, this time away from any law enforcement. After taking down an Armored Truck, evading Wiggum once more, and making it to Snake's hideout, the crook finally reveals that the Cola Trucks are connected to the Museum.
7. Curious Curator: Apu comes across Bart and tells him about the conspiracy going on in the museum. With it closing in 5 minutes and Apu car low on gas, the two commandeer the Ferrini to make it there in time and nab the curator's key.
   Once there, the duo witness the Cola dripping from a mechanized meteor attached the the ceiling, it's taint potent enough to awaken a T. Rex fossil. (simply unplugging the source causes it to collapse, though) The culprits are none other than Kang and Kodos, who have been filming Springfield's activities for their show, Foolish Earthlings. With ratings on the decline, the aliens unveil their master plan: taint the town's water supply with Evil Cola and distribute ray guns throughout the Squidport — the ensuing destruction will attract viewership like never before!

• (Bonus) Kinky Frinky: Prof. Frink's Hovercar™ is on the fritz, so it's up to Apu to disable the thing before the authorities take notice. Once Frink can work out the the kinks, he'll be happy to offer his services.

Level 6

1. Going to the 'Lu: Bart needs to get to Krustylu Studios quickly if he's gonna stop the alien's plot, but Apu is too cowardly to help. Luckily, Otto's headed there as soon as he picks up a few kids for their field trip.
2. Getting Down with the Clown: Bart learns from Barney that Krusty is headed to the Squidport for a Buzz Cola endorsement deal, and must get there before his limo does.
3. Lab Coat Caper: Bart tries to warn Krusty about the plot, but he's isn't quick to believe him. Bart's going to have to find someone a bit more knowledgeable to prove things, and decides to track down Prof. Frink.
4. Duff for Me, Duff for You: As fate would have it, Frink has just inadvertently intercepted an alien message revealing that the lasers have been hidden in Duff Trucks. Bart quickly heads off to intercept one such shipment, and find a working Ray Gun to use as proof.
5. Full Metal Jackass: Bart tries to get Skinner to help, but he's more interested in enforcing Zero Tolerance policy, and confiscates the Ray Gun. Well, it's nothing a little smashy-smashy can't solve.
6. Set to Kill: At least, Krusty is convinced! Too bad the Ray Gun stands are already set up. Bart's going to need a more powerful vehicle to smash them all, so it's a good thing Kearney's selling a ride previous owned by Globex Corp.
7. Kang and Kodos Strike Back: Bart tells Homer about the plot, and since he still has his '70s Sports Car and isn't happy about the aliens' disgracing Duff, the race is on.
   By the time they make it to the brewery, though, Kang and Kodos have already spread the Evil Cola, and it's raising the dead!

• (Bonus) Milking the Pigs: Bart could use an extra wheelman, and Snake's willing to help once he's dealt with a few loose ends. Not only must Bart take care of Chief Wiggum's Police Car, but Fat Tony also has a big bounty on milk trucks for some reason.

Level 7

1. Rigor Motors: With the Zombie Apocalypse in full swing (and interrupting the ball game), Homer must gather some survival supplies. A first-aid kit from Ned, some boards from Cletus, and a chainsaw from Moe should be enough to keep the Simpsons safe.
2. Long Black Probes: If Comic Book Guy's nerdy knowledge is good for anything, it's deducing that the Black Sedans are the aliens' probes, and a brain-powered Freakmobile should be able to keep up with them. Homer follows one in hopes of finding their weakness, which leads him to the Power Plant.
3. Pocket Protector: Prof. Frink has deduced that a few payloads of nuclear waste fed into their Tractor Beam should be enough to defeat the aliens. He's already got one barrel loaded into his Hovercar, so it's just a matter of getting there and avoiding any Black Sedans along the way.
4. There's Something About Monty: It's going to take a lot more waste to stop the aliens, so Lisa suggests inquiring with Mr. Burns. Conveniently (in a sense), the wreckage of a UFO crashed into the Power Plant's control building provides a quick if precarious way into his office.
5. Alien "Auto"-topsy Part 1: Since Mr. Burns isn't fond of aliens (of either kind), he's willing to provide access to his nuclear waste hiding spot. Homer must deliver another payload into the Tractor Beam, careful not to knock it loose.
6. Alien "Auto"-topsy Part 2: Homer needs another car to attack the aliens, and coerces Snake into lending his. They best be careful though — the aliens have one of their Black Sedans in hot pursuit.
7. Alien "Auto"-topsy Part 3: One more barrel of waste should finish the aliens, so it's a good thing Grandpa's souped up his WWII Vehicle with a rocket booster. Of course, there's one more Black Sedan to contend with, racing and chasing our heroes each leg of the way.
   With that last helping of waste, the day is saved, Homer's the town hero (even though he thinks the events were just an Acid Reflux Nightmare, along with the ninja babysitters), and even Foolish Earthlings gets amazing ratings! Kang and Kodos can only watch on from Earth's afterlife before facing their Cool and Unusual Punishment: having to sit though the game's credits!
8. Flaming Tyres: Not even a Zombie Apocalypse will keep Mr. Burns from sending Smithers on an errand run, and impose a strict time limit at that. A pair of sock garters, tooth powder, and exercise record later, and he can help Homer out.

(Bonus movie for collecting all Cards) Itchy & Scratchy in: the 500 Yard Gash: Itchy and Scratchy are off to the races, but Itchy decides to give his rival a little boost: steroids! Scratchy's newfound physicality proves potent enough to lap the entire planet several times before reaching the finish line... but his heart gives out just before he can cross it. Itchy wins the race, his reward being a very... unique medal.