Four pain-in-the-ass Federation diplomats have come aboard DS9. Unluckily for Bashir, Sisko has foisted three of them off on him. The fourth is none other than Lwaxana Troi. While she plays at the Dabo table, she loudly exclaims her brooch has been stolen. Odo is on the case. Since Lwaxana can't sense guilt from anyone, Odo deduces that it's a random Dopterian. As distant cousins of the Ferengi, they are immune to mind-reading. Much to Odo's chagrin, Lwaxana instantly takes a shine to him.
Meanwhile, O'Brien is fighting with the notoriously finicky Cardassian computer system, a problem not helped when a mysterious probe comes through the wormhole.
After nearly getting the Changeling equivalent of his bones jumped by Lwaxana, Odo actually asks for Sisko's help in getting her to leave him alone. Sisko merely laughs him off and tells him to handle it himself.
The probe meanwhile is interfering with the stations computers systems, knocking random ones out at random intervals. And just his luck, Odo happens to be in a lift with Lwaxana when the power cuts out. The transporters are down, he can't shape-shift out, and power restoration could take hours. In short, he's having a really bad day.
Lwaxana passes the time by talking, even recounting her experiences from "Menage A Troi." Odo awkwardly tolerates her conversation but eventually opens up with some of his backstory, recounting being examined by scientists and cajoled into doing party tricks. It explains why he's so "self-sufficient."
But there's another reason Odo really didn't want to be trapped on this turbolift: he's nearing the end of his 16-hour cycle and will soon have to return to liquid form, something he's very embarrassed about and uncomfortable doing in front of other people. He admits as much to Lwaxana, so she shares a private secret with him. She removes her wig, showing him her real hair. She explains that it's "too normal," and she always hated being normal. Odo is finally convinced to let go of his humanoid form. He turns into liquid, and Lwaxana cradles him in her dress.
O'Brien meanwhile has figured out the problem. The mysterious program is a lifeform that craves computer activity, so trying to shut down processes to get rid of it is exactly the wrong thing to do. Likening the program to an attention-starved puppy, he creates a subroutine to draw its attention, calling it a "dog house." The ploy works, the program becomes benign, and all systems return to normal. O'Brien decides to keep the program and is advised by Sisko, "Just keep it off the furniture."
Lwaxana and Odo emerge from the lift, both back to their regular appearance, and part ways as friends.
And as for Bashir, our long-suffering doctor gets recommended for a commendation by the three diplomats when he saves them from an exploding corridor fire.
Tropes:
- "Ass" in Ambassador: Four of them! And poor Bashir gets stuck with three, while the fourth latches on to Odo.Bashir: Nothing makes them happy! They are dedicated to being unhappy and spreading their un-happiness wherever they go! They are... The Ambassadors of Unhappy!!!
- Blatant Lies: Bashir claims that Sisko can't visit the ambassadors because of some "recalibration" going on. When pressed for details, Bashir stumbles over himself and says that it's a whole system-wide... recalibration. We don't need to be told that he's lying out of his ass. It doesn't help that the Vulcan ambassador wants to observe the "recalibration sweep", leaving Bashir scrambling to Change the Uncomfortable Subject.
- Body Horror: Odo struggling to maintain his shape as he nears his regeneration period. Although referenced in previous episodes, this episode establishes that Odo suffers great discomfort long before his 16-hour time limit, so he must actually be turning to liquid more often than every 16 hours when he has a choice.
- Boldly Coming: Lwaxana has no qualms about swimming the river Odo.Odo: Every sixteen hours, I turn into a liquid!Lwaxana: I can swim.
- Bottle Episode: The episode was written as one. It takes place entirely on the station and doesn't feature any large crowd scenes. Even the one special effect, the worm hole opening, is criticized for being short and unimpressive.
- Call-Back:
- At one point, Odo sticks his head out of a turbolift, looks both ways to see if Lwaxana's nearby, and walks out just in time for her to ambush him—just like Picard did in the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode "Half a Life."
- Bashir's sarcastic comment to the ambassadors that life is one adventure after another on the frontier echoes and mocks his own excitement from the first episode.
- Continuity Nod: While trapped in the lift, Lwaxana recounts her experiences from the Next Generation episode "Menage A Troi".
- Double Standard: Stalking, Female After Male: As usual, Lwaxana's unwanted attentions are Played for Laughs. When Odo asks Sisko for help, Sisko just laughs and gives him the brush-off. Try to imagine a female officer with a difficult upbringing and poor social skills dealing with a male suitor who won't take no for an answer getting treated the same way. It's particularly ironic that Sisko comments in this very episode that he once punched an ambassador for trying to rape a female officer.
- Elevator Failure: Odo and Lwaxana spend most of the episode in a stuck turbolift.
- Enmity with an Object: O'Brien declares the station's Cardassian computer to be his arch-enemy, something that Sisko doesn't fully understand.
- First-Name Basis: After spending The Teaser being fairly uptight and demanding Julian refer to her by her full proper title, the Arbazan ambassador, after Julian rescues her and her colleagues from a fire, asks that he now refer to her as "Taxco." In turn, all three ambassadors refer to him as "Julian" when thanking him for saving their lives.
- Friendship Moment: Lwaxana holds Odo's liquid form in the folds of her dress as he regenerates.
- Hates Being Alone: The alien computer program, to the point that its willing to sabotage the station for attention.
- Hidden Depths: Though she starts off as flirting with him, Lwaxana shows a surprising amount of compassion towards Odo once she can see that he's in distress.
- I Need to Go Iron My Dog: The first time Odo wants to get away from Lwaxana, he says he hears the com system calling him to Ops. (He doesn't.) The second time, he says he needs to inspect an upper pylon. Lwaxana happily tags along.
- Insistent Terminology: Madam Ambassador Taxco. Though she lightens up after Bashir saves her and the other two ambassadors from a burning corridor.
- Know-Nothing Know-It-All: The Bolian ambassador is criticized for spending the whole flight to the station giving the captain advice on how to run his ship.
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall:
- The ambassadors are unimpressed by the worm hole's opening. This is a Bottle Episode, so the effect's unimpressiveness was rather necessary.
- Mathematician's Answer: In this exchange.Lwaxana: Is Odo your first or last name?Odo: Yes.
- No OSHA Compliance: We see what it's like to be in a Cardassian turbolift while it's moving. No walls or even a door to protect the occupants from the transit shaft. It's also mentioned that Cardassian turbolifts run fully exposed power lines to the car, meaning that it's impossible for someone to use an exit hatch (or Odo to squeeze out through the gaps in liquid form) for risk of being electrocuted.
- Not Me This Time: Quark may have little respect for others' property rights, but he didn't steal Lwaxana's hair brooch. Odo even sides with him on that one, though he gets in an insult while doing it.Odo: Quark has plenty of reason to feel guilty, but he usually doesn't have to resort to petty theft to fleece his clients.
Quark: (sarcastically) Thank you. - Not So Above It All: Sisko assigned Bashir to the ambassadors and admits he took some enjoyment in it.Sisko: All of us have had these assignments, Doctor.
Bashir: Have you, sir?
Sisko: As a matter of fact, Curzon Dax used to take perverse pleasure in assigning me to take care of VIP guests.
Bashir: Ah. So now you take the same perverse pleasure in doing it to me.
Sisko: Exactly. - Odd Friendship: At the end of the episode, Odo and Lwaxana have become friends.
- Oh, Crap!: One act-break holds on Odo's aghast expression when he realizes that he's stuck in the turbolift with Lwaxana.
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: For the computer. O'Brien points out how odd it is when it stops arguing with him.
- Please, Don't Leave Me: The alien probe's computer program is starved for attention and willing to do anything to ensure O'Brien gives it attention, up to and including interfering with the station's computer and putting its occupants in mortal peril.
- Read the Fine Print: Quark's establishment is in no way responsible for lost or stolen items. It's clearly listed above the door, so high up that you're likely to miss it.
- Really 700 Years Old: The Vulcan ambassador is unsure that Dax is experienced enough for her post until Bashir tells him that she's over 300 years old.
- Rescue Romance: Sort of. Odo saves Lwaxana's hair brooch instead of her life, but that's apparently enough.
- A Rotten Time to Revert: Odo is most embarrassed when he ends up getting trapped in a turbolift with the formidable Ambassador Troi and needs to revert to his liquid form. Luckily, she's understanding and takes off her wig (because she's embarrassed about her "ordinary" hair) so that they can be on an even footing, leading to them developing an Odd Friendship.
- Running Gag: Lwaxana is established in previous episodes of The Next Generation to be unfamiliar with the standard procedure for addressing the ship's computer. In this episode, she thumps the wall to get the turbolift moving rather than just state her floor. This trait is playing on the fact that Majel Barret plays both Lwaxana and the ship's computer voice.
- Shout-Out: The ops team's attempt to disarm the computer is an obvious nod to 2001: A Space Odyssey.
- Uncomfortable Elevator Moment: Odo spends half the episode in one with Lwaxana, courtesy of an Elevator Failure.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: The "puppy" AI is never mentioned again.
- Would Rather Suffer: Odo, trapped in a turbolift with Lwaxana and listening to her prattle on, finds himself wondering how many volts are in an open panel.
- You Need to Get Laid:
- When Taxco misinterprets Bashir's suggestion to visit the holosuite as a sexual invitation.Taxco: Are you actually suggesting we indulge in one of those disgusting Ferengi sex programs?
Bashir: No, I...the holosuites are capable of many different—
Vadosia:note Of course that was what he was suggesting. The Arbazan are so sexually repressed.
Taxco: Why, this is outrageous! - When Odo complains to Sisko about Lwaxana's aggressive pursuit, Sisko suggests that he allow her to catch him.
- When Taxco misinterprets Bashir's suggestion to visit the holosuite as a sexual invitation.
