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Quotes / So Bad, It Was Better

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"This show had the best theme song ever. It also must be the cheapest cartoon ever made. Each half hour episode consisted of about 3 minutes of new footage, and the rest was filled up with recaps of what you just saw before the commercial and the same short bumpers that explained the characters' personalities to you. Those bumpers were the best part. There were 2 seasons of it. The best one was made by Shamus Culhane. I say "best" because it was so badly drawn and clunky. The designs were such that you didn't know whether it was supposed to be serious or not. The 2nd season was taken over by Ralph Bakshi, who ruined the show by bringing good artists on to do the layouts. Then it wasn't as funny anymore."

"I kinda wish this toy was a bit better, or a lot worse."

Peter: Watcha playing?
Jason: World of Warquest Classic.
Peter: "Classic"?
Jason: Yeah, they came out with a retro version that plays just like it did in 2006.
Peter: How's it different?
Jason: Basically, everything is harder and takes way longer to do.
Peter: And you enjoy that?
Jason: Oh, yes.

"Darkseid was the Super Friends arch-nemesis for the last season of the show. That was the season when it was still crappy enough to suck, but not quite crappy enough to be good. Darkseid was never very creative with his plans to conquer us. Not like how Brainiac would train kittens to mind control us and get us to steal a super-laser for him that turned us into sandwiches. The Super Friends had to do the most ridiculous things to stop shit like that. The Bat computer would tell them to dress up like penguins and get a crystal from the center of a planet in another dimension, coat it in chocolate, and jam it in Aquaman's ear when he's not looking. Darkseid would just shoot at us with space ships. The only plan the Super Friends have to come up with is: Punch Spaceship. Nice plan Darkseid. The Super Friends might be complete morons in tights, but at least they'll probably think to try that."

"Indeed, if you were to put the Star TV dub and the new subtitles on at the same time for any random episode of Headmasters (the only British release to include both as well as the original Japanese) the slow, terrible realisation would sink in that both were, with the odd exception of complete insanity, 95% exactly the same. Star TV hadn't ruined the Japanese shows, they'd been as faithful as a bunch of people who clearly weren't given much reference material were ever going to be, and those moments of complete and utter batshit insanity ("Spaceship Bruce") were often much more entertaining that the content of the "Real" episodes."

It feels weird to say this about a movie based on as putrid a book as Hannibal, but the makers of this film really should have had more trust in the source material. Once it became obvious that “Why don’t you go fuck yourself?” was Jonathan Demme and Jodie Foster’s final answer, De Laurentiis ought to have chucked all the rewrites intended to placate them, and embraced Hannibal’s destiny to be a florid farrago. It is one anyway, after all, only now it seems kind of sheepish about it. If eliminating the vile slashfic conclusion, Margot Verger, and the Barney subplot couldn’t make the movie good, then those things might as well still be in here. Tell the truth, now. Wouldn’t you have kind of liked to see Frankie Faison and — I don’t know, how about Chyna? — together in a series of sexually charged power-lifting contests and the most uncomfortable shower scene since Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare? Wouldn’t you rather have watched Paul Krendler’s comeuppance descend all the way to the level of Eating Raoul by way of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 instead of sinking most of the way there before reversing itself in embarrassment? Wouldn’t you have preferred a version of this film that honestly didn’t know it was supposed to feel bad about inciting you to root for Hannibal Lecter? Doesn’t a fabulous disaster sound like more fun than an ill-considered goof?
—Scott "El Santo" Ashlin, 1000 Misspent Hours and Counting

You say 'Bad sound quality', I say 'That unique atmosphere'.
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