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  • The majority of Nate and Sully's banter throughout the chase sequence to rescue Sam from Shoreline mercenaries.
    • Sully's reaction when they're ambushed by both mercenaries and an armed truck:
      Sully: Well, I'm not a hundred percent sure but... I think they've found us.
    • When Nate takes a detour through the crowded marketplace:
      Sully: Oh, this was really a great idea!
      Nate: Do you want to drive?!
      Sully: No, you're doing just fine.
    • And once they've thoroughly destroyed the marketplace:
      Sully: Nate.
      Nate: Yeah?
      Sully: We can never, EVER, come back to this city!
      Nate: Add that to the list!
      Sully: Ha!
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    • The part where Nate and Sully have to navigate through a busy construction site.
      Sully: Sorry, fellas — first time driver here.
    • And then when it seems like they finally managed to outrun the truck...
      Nate: Alright! Let's see that truck get past that!
      (The truck promptly crashes through a fence and lands in front of them.)
      Nate: ARGH- COME ON!
  • Plenty more banter ensues when Nate, Sully and Sam drive through Madagascar in search of Captain Avery's watch tower.
    • When they discover a cave hidden behind a waterfall.
      Nate: Wouldja look at that.
      Sam: A secret cave behind a waterfall. Gentlemen, we are on a pirate adventure.
      Nate: What are you, seven?
    • And upon driving back out the waterfall:
      Sully: A little warning next time?
      Sam: Yeah, that's the first time in years I've had two showers in one day.
    • If the player tries to drive up the steep muddy slope.
      Nate: And... go!
      (The truck fails to make it up the slope.)
      Sully: And... no.
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    • Sam and Nate's banter on cairns (in part, just how unbelievably childish Sam sounds throughout all of it): a.k.a. "Not a cairn in the world."
      (Nate drives through a cairn)
      Sam: Well, so much for that rock pile.
      Nate: Technically it's called a 'cairn'.
      Sam: Yeah, I don't like to say that word. It just... sounds weird. Care...carin...car—nope. Nope, I don't like it.
      (another cairn is run down)
      Nate: Shit. Hit another cairn.
      Sam: Rock pile!
      Nate: Sorry, Sam; right—rock pile.
      Sam: Thank you.
      (another cairn is run down)
      Sam: You know, someone worked very hard to stack those rocks.
      (another cairn is run down)
      Nate: Hey, knocking these over isn't bad luck, is it?
      Sullivan: Don't think so. But it's kinda rude.
      (Later, after Nate has knocked over many cairns)
      Sam: That rock pile had a family!
  • The game gives a look into the home life of Nate and Elena. One of their interactions has Nate claiming he can beat Elena's high score on their "TV game thing". Nate boots it up and what follows is a mix of funny, heartwarming and awesome: Their "TV game thing" is the original Playstation and the game they're playing is Crash Bandicoot.
    Nate: Is this it?
    Elena: No. It has to load.
    Nate: Load?
    Elena: Yes.
    Nate: This is taking a really long time.
    • Another gem:
      Elena: Okay, run away from the boulder.
      Nate: Why is the boulder chasing me?
      Elena: Just run away from it.
      Nate: I did nothing to this boulder.
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    • "Huh, these graphics are pretty good." Really!
    • Elena's look of unabashed, childish glee when Nate completely fails to beat her high score.
    • In a similar vein, Drake having a "tense" shoot-out in the attic, complete with appropriately pumping music, with a toy ping-pong ball gun. And it's tucked into his old holsters.
    • Nate having a dinner with Elena. While she talks about a Bangkok travel guide book she's writing, Nate zones out thinking of adventures he might had if he isn't retired and married. Elena then poked Nate and demands him to repeat what she just said. One of the options available to you is "The lost city of Bangkok".
    • Nate and salvage crew stuck copper. Wired copper.
    • The only hidden treasure to find in that chapter? A genuine antique arcade token.
  • When bidding for the Dismas cross, Sully tells Nate to wait to cut the power, just before Rafe makes a final enormous bid and effectively ends their back-and-forth — not out of any necessity, but just because it's funnier to make him think he's won before they pull the rug from under him.
  • In Nate and Nadine's first fight, she at one point has him pinned to a wall, and asks why he wants the St. Dumas cross so badly. One of the responses you can give her is It belongs in a museum! She initially has a "my God, are you serious" look on her face, but then quickly realizes, no, he is not.
  • In Nate and Nadine's second fight, which ends with her boot on his chest, Nate starts shouting out the word "Mango!" When Nadine asks what the hell he's talking about, Nate replies "It's my safe word!". That raises a small chuckle from Nadine.
  • There's a trophy for recreating the infamous controller malfunction in the Madagascar chase from E3 2015 called "Stage Fright".
  • After the auction heist, Sam correctly guesses Sully has something to say to him.
    Sam: Something on your mind, dear?
  • Nate trying out the 'Marco...' joke again, only for Sam to reply with a confused "What?".
  • The fact that one of Libertalia's founders was none other than Guybrush Threepwood. Even better, neither Nate nor Sam have any idea who he is.
  • Nate, Sam, and Elena at several points wonder to each other if Henry Avery lost all of his money creating his deathtraps and tests, leaving him unable to create the pirate utopia the tests were supposed to lead to in the first place.
  • The excessive amount of sliding in the Scotland section of the game gets some fun Lampshade Hanging:
    Nate: My ass is full of gravel.
  • Some of the multiplayer quotes can be very humorous.
    • Lazarevic's hamminess is taken up to eleven, and his indoors voice is completly removed. If the player gets an assist, he might yell "STOP. STEALING. MY. KILLS!" or "THAT WAS MY KILL TOO!" When grounded, he might threaten to kill his teammates if they don't stop him from dying.
    • On the subject of multiplayer mode, taunts are still ridiculous as ever.
  • Sam's pirate fanboying in general can be hilarious, like how he repeatedly corrects Nate whenever he refers to a structure or a ruin as "man-made" with "pirate-made." Or how he repeatedly talks about being on a "pirate adventure."
  • One of the bonus rendering modes changes the entire environment's textures to rainbow colors, or as the game calls it, "Rainbow Fun Land". And there's also the Tri-Color mode, which makes everyone look like a character from Tom Goes to the Mayor.
    • Even funnier when in this rendering mode, Nate opens up his map and points out a route...despite the fact that the rendering makes it look as if Nate is looking at a solid red piece of paper.
  • Sam's joke during chapter ten. It's so bad that Sully threatens to leave him to the wilderness.
    Sam: So, a pirate walks into a bar, and he has a steering wheel stuck on his crotch. The bartender asks him why. The captain answers "Arrr, it's driving me nuts!"
    Sully: Don't make me leave you here.
  • The entire sequence at the Panamanian prison contains some great lines in Spanish, which are all the better for not being translated:
    Nate: Hey, we weren't fighting! Huh? Right, little guy?
    Gustavo: (I'm going to kill you, you gringo shithead!)
    Nate: Hey, give me a call when you're tall enough to ride the rides!
    Gustavo: (I'll rip your GUTS out your ASSHOLE!)

    Sam: Sorry, boys, I've got to go.
    Gambling Prisoner: Sure, leave when you're winning.
  • In the epilogue, there's a bunch of cute and funny post-its from Nate's family on their fridge. Apparently, Cassie owns Sully at Backgammon, and she and her parents have a few "conversations" via notes about the family dog leaving hair on Nate's pillow, or Cassie asking to come with her mom to a photo op, only for Elena to reply she'll think about it if Cassie cleans her room.
    • Nate and Elena have to remind Cassie not to say "shit" on a couple of occasions, despite it being part of their own vocabulary pretty regularly. Nate does accede to "crap" without too much debate.
  • This exchange during the final boss fight.
    Rafe: You know how to sword fight?
    Nate: Yeah. I stick you with the sharp end, right?
    Rafe: Oh, this should be fun.
  • When Nate and Sam finally reach Libertalia, Nate can detour into a building and examine a pirate cutlass. When he puts it down and turns around:
    Sam: Avast! Ye dirty dog-
    [Blade snaps]
    • A ways up, there's a set of stocks that Sam puts himself on top of, lamenting that they don't have a camera. Nate offers to sketch him in his notebook, but the way he does so is less than flattering.
  • Some of Nate's journal entries are rather hilarious such as doodling his brother in the stocks. In another page, Nate wrote the final words of Jesus Christ and Saint Dimas but for Saint Gestas (identified as Jerk Thief by the brothers), he wrote "Cool, I'll just hang here. You guys have fun."
  • During the epilogue, Elene decides it is time for her and Nate to tell their daughter about their past adventures, leading to this exchange:
    Elena: Nate, it's time to have the talk.
    Cassie: Yeah! Its totally time. Wait, which talk are we talking about here?
  • Inside the Drake family photo album during the epilogue, there is a photo of Sully making a face while he is holding baby Cassie pooping her diaper.
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