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Funny / The Cabin in the Woods

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  • In the film's opening, the sheer amount of time it takes for Curt to realize that Dana is Not Wearing Pants.
    • Either that or he decided to wait till Dana decides to put some clothes on. Doesn't make it any less funny though.
    • Also Curt, who is tailor-made to look like a jock, turns out to be a sociology major on a full academic scholarship. When he tells Dana not to waste time reading a particular book, he suggests a better book for that class. It's completely unexpected, but sets the tone nicely for a movie that's all about subverting audience expectations.
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  • Also in the opening, Curt's and Jules' PSA parody.
    (Jules is holding complex textbooks)
    Curt: Where did you learn about this stuff?
    Jules: From you, okay? I learned it from watching you!
  • The evil unicorn. Just... the evil unicorn. The BGM helps.
  • The clown, disturbing as it may have been.
  • The stoner character Marty remaining "sober" while everyone else succumbs to the mind-control chemicals.
    "And that makes... what kind of sense?"
  • The merman. Particularly the blood spouting from its blowhole.
    "Oh, come on..."
  • Dana making out with Holden.
    Dana: I've never done anything like this before.
    (Dana looks away, and takes a more serious tone)
    Dana: Well... not never.
    • Of course, this turns into Fridge Horror when you realize she only said that because she's being forced into the Virgin role, despite not actually being a virgin.
    • When she's called "the Virgin" by the Director, she even looks offended!
  • A lot of the quips between the villains, particularly when they're making fun of Mordecai, the crazy gas station hick.
    • In a later scene, some Japanese school girls exorcise the spirit that was attacking them. Sitterson is not amused.
      • And then there is his follow-up comment:
        "The Japan-crew had this in the bag. They fucked us! How hard is it to kill 9-year-olds?!"
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    • The whole scene counts, honestly, with the girls singing happily around the spirit, causing it to enter the body of a "happy frog". It certainly looks like a Japanese movie.
  • "He's got a husband bulge."
    • Also doubles as a major Moment Killer, as the euphemism was from a diary entry regarding a sadist's reaction to torturing someone.
  • The whiteboard during the betting pool scene. One imagines it would have been a very different movie if "Sexy Witches", "Angry Molesting Tree", or "Snowman" had been chosen.
    • The fact that the board distinguished between "witches" and "sexy witches."
  • Regarding an antique gas pump:
    Curt: I'm thinking this thing doesn't take credit cards.
    Marty: I don't think it knows about money. I think it's barter gas.
  • Marty's first appearance in the movie - driving through town while smoking an enormous bong while driving. He says something about being certain the cops wouldn't pull him over because his behavior is so far outside normal expectations... which seems to foreshadow his eventual role as a Spanner in the Works.
    • Then it turns out said bong is collapsible to disguise it as a coffee thermos. AND LATER MARTY USES IT AS A WEAPON TO SAVE DANA!
    • While it's easy to miss, it's worth noting how Marty 'locks' his car. He reaches in through his open window, locks the door from the inside and walks away. With the window still open.
  • The Black Comedy in Curt driving a motorcycle to jump over the gorge while inspiring heroic music starts to play... and then crashing ineffectually into the electrified barrier and falling into the gorge, hitting the barrier again and again and again as he falls.
  • Patience sticking her head out of the elevator and looking at the blood-soaked hallway with an "Aw gee, I missed all the fun" expression on her face.
    • And the second team of security sent to the elevator room. They run in, blood everywhere and silence. Zombies look up. A beat. *ding!*
    • On the subject of zombies: After the first attack by them, Dana insists on going to search for Jules. She opens the cabin door...only to be confronted with Matthew Buckner, who casually tosses her Jules' severed head.
      • Also on the subject of the redneck zombie torture family, the scene at the cabin, right after Jules' death, but before the head tossing, Curt's panicked declaration to run to Marty, before clotheslining Patience...was hilarious.
  • "Good work, zombie arm."
  • "Cleanse them. Cleanse the world of their ignorance and sin. Bathe them in the crimson of — am I on speakerphone?"
    • Even funnier is when Mordecai tries another evil-sounding rant, pauses, and says, "I'm still on speakerphone, aren't I?" While Hadley unconvincingly tries to deny it, Sitterson is laughing hysterically.
    "That is just rude. I don't know who's in the room."
  • When Jules and Curt are about to have sex, we see all of the male scientists ogling her. Hadley and Sitterson send them all they can watch themselves.
  • The conversation between Marty and Mordecai.
    Mordecai: You know damn well what war I'm referring to.
    Marty: Was it the one where the Blues fought the Greys? Brother, perhaps, fighting brother?
    Mordecai: *stares menacingly*
    Marty: *walking away* I heard the railroads will be coming here soon. It's going to be the next big thing. Streets paved with actual street!
  • The results of the workroom bet, split between maintenance and Ronald the intern, complete with the latter jumping and celebrating.
  • During the party, Ronald is heard telling someone "I'm the intern!" Later, during the System Purge when the monitors showing the chaos are being viewed, Ronald is shown holding a sign up to the camera reading "Help me! A dragonbat has my scent. I'm the intern."
    • According to the Cabin in the Woods Official Visual Companion, Joss Whedon mentioned that some things will never be known. Such as "How did Ronald the Intern survive the end of the world and eventually end up ruling the ancient gods?"
  • When they find the artifact:
    Marty: Okay, I'm drawing a line in the fucking sand here, do NOT read the Latin.
    (Ominous Whispers): Read the Latin... out loud...
  • Marty's mighty resistance to mind control.
    (Ominous Whispers): I'm gonna go for a walk...
    Marty: What are you saying? What do you want? You think I'm a puppet, huh? You think I'm going to do a little puppet dance? I'm the boss of my own brain so give it up! *beat* I'm gonna go for a walk.
  • This bit after Dana escapes the sunken van:
    Hadley: It's strange, I'm, I'm actually rooting for this girl. You gotta admire her heart. Just imagine all the pain and the— (some other guys bring in a bottle of tequila) TEQUILA IS MY LADYYYYY!
  • In the DVD commentary, Joss Whedon gets a pretty funny line of Self-Deprecation/Hypocritical Humor. He's explaining how they didn't want to make all the monsters shout outs to popular horror icons like Freddy and Jason because "If you took a bunch of iconic characters who had already been in a movie, and then just made a movie with all of them together, you'd be a disgusting hack. *beat* Oh God! We're gonna cut that out, right?"
  • Marty finding the hidden camera in his bedroom:
    Marty: I'm on a reality TV show...(grins for a moment before dropping it and realizing) parents are gonna think I'm such a burnout.
  • During the climactic monster rampage, a zombie clearly grabs an employee and throws him over the railing into the waiting jaws of the giant snake. This one scene, coupled with the lack of even a hint of conflict among the monsters themselves forces us to conclude that they're all friends. A million and one mental images follow.
  • "Yeah... I had to dismember that guy with a trowel." It's the offhand way he says it that clinches this moment.
  • Hadley and Sitterson's dancing.
  • Marty gets lots of good lines:
    Marty: I'm sorry I let you get attacked by a werewolf and then ended the world.
    Dana: Nah...
  • "How hard is it to kill nine year olds!?"
  • Jules's seductive dance in front of the fireplace is some prime Fanservice...then the camera shows Dana and Holden staring at her in what can only be described as wide-eyed confusion and incredulity.
  • Amid the monsters are three normal looking Klansmen, dressed in the typical hooded attire. When this movie brings all the monsters, it brings all the monsters!
  • Marty: "I dare you all to go upstairs?"
  • Most of Marty's only sane one antics are hilariously fourth wall'd.
  • The very last lines of the movie, as Marty and Dana share a joint together and Face Death with Dignity.
    Marty: Giant evil gods...
    Dana: I wish I could've seen them.
    Marty: I know! That would have been a fun weekend.

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