Funny / Pillars of Eternity II: Deadfire

• Some of your flippant response options to the gods are hilarious... if ill-advised.
  • The fact that Berath and Rymrgand, the gods of death and entropy respectively, are the only gods who really seem to appreciate your jokes. Well, mostly; be too much of a smartass with Rymrgand and he basically slaps you into silence, which is almost as funny. Special mention goes to this:
    Watcher: Remind me who you are again? There are so many gods — it's hard to keep track.
    (Rymrgand smashes you across the room with a blast of cold air)
    Rymrgand: You’ll remember me now.
• When Berath commands you to pursue Eothas in the intro, you can choose to say no. Berath's response is to put your soul back into the Wheel, whereupon the great Watcher of Caed Nua reincarnates into a cat.
  You know the world by sound and scent, as food and danger. The concerns of gods and nations are beyond you. It is a simple and satisfactory existence, though your mind can concieve of no other.
• At the intro, when the pirate Benweth demands that you surrender your ship, one of the possible responses is to say nothing and instead "make a rude hand gesture". Upon doing this, Edér reacts by smiling like "he's just seen an old friend."
  Edér: Always liked that one. Sometimes I like to wiggle the finger like it's tickling.
  • Even Benweth is impressed by this response.
    Benweth: (laughs heartily) Oh, I like your spirit.
  • Conversely, when Benweth demands you surrender, the Watcher can snark that they can't hear him over the wind, but it sounds like he wants to surrender. Eder promptly quips that Benweth's also volunteering to dance around deck with his trousers on his head. Benweth is... less impressed by this.
  • Later on when you meet Benweth again he doesn't remember you, an option is to make the rude hand gesture again, whereupon he does.
• After your boat crashes:
  The Watcher: I. Hate. Boats.
  Edér: Shh. It's right behind you.
• Edér's story about how he became the mayor of Dyrford. (Long story short, the old mayor was a undercover Skaenite who tried to take Edér's head off with a garden hoe, so Edér took his head off instead, then walked out the man's front door carrying the man's head in his hand and everybody declared him mayor on the spot.)
  Edér: Didn't even hold an election.
• When talking to Xoti and the Dawnstars for the first time, the Watcher can choose to describe their mission to follow the mile high avatar of the reborn God of Rebirth in the manner of someone searching for a wayward pet.
  I'm looking for an adra statue, yea high, inhabited by Eothas.
• Aloth's reintroduction. He has gone undercover amongst a group of animancers, under the assumed name "Engferth". The Watcher can feign ignorance and ask the animancers to tell more about this amazing friend of theirs. The animancers explain that Engferth's parents "died in a fire", and that he for some time lived with his rich uncle/aunt (depending on the Watcher's gender) in Dyrwood, until he/she also "died in a fire". Aloth, meanwhile, tries repeatedly to insist that his story isn't all that interesting and squirms in embarrassment and discomfort as the Watcher coaxes the animancers continue to tell it. The Watcher can even call Aloth out his choice of cover story afterwards.
  The Watcher: Your "wealthy old uncle/aunt"? Really?
  Aloth: (winces a bit) It seemed like a convenient story... Besides you have the oldest soul I know.
  • Of course, there is also the option to tell the animancers that "Engferth" is actually named Aloth. When the animancers asks how the Watcher know that, they can reply with "I am his rich uncle/aunt."
  • The extra funny part is the contrast in voice-acting between the one of the younger animancers who's taken a shine to Aloth and buys the story wholeheartedly, and an older one who clearly doesn't believe a word of it.
• In a dark humor sort of way, the stealth option you use to kill off Benweth. He likes to play the Harpsicord when his fort throws a big enough party. So you rig it to explode when he plays it.
• If Edér's relationship with the Watcher grows strong enough, he will at one point discuss their friendship, impressing admiration for their ability to make hard choices, before asking them how they know if their decisions are right. The passionate response to this question reads thus:
  The Watcher: I have strong feelings about EVERYTHING!
  • In the same conversation, Edér wonders if it's still right to follow Eothas after what he's done. The watcher can respond thus:
    The Watcher: Of course it is. Even Berath wants us to follow Eothas!
• Rekke can be found floating on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea and he can't speak in any language you understand until one in-game month passes. Of all the base-game sidekicks, he's the only one with a dialogue tree, which includes gossiping about your friends.
• When exploring a tomb under Neketaka, the party can come across an undead champion of Berath... who has a Scottish accent. Edér's impressed they've found someone else who speaks with Ilsemyr's weird accent. Ilsemyr's just happy to find someone who "speaks proper".
• In Neketaka's Gutter, the Watcher can take on a quest to help with a plague - unfortunately, the medicine can only be obtained in the Black Market for an exorbitant price, though the merchant is also open to trading it for a "favor". The Watcher can reply that the merchant isn't their type, prompting a blush from the merchant and influence gains for party members with a snarky sense of humor.
• The Form of the Helpless Beast wizard spell has some unexpected comedy. Visually, it turns a kith target into a pig. Mechanically, despite the name however, the target isn't completely helpless - while the spell's effect prevents the target from using abilities, it is still capable of performing basic attacks. These basic attacks are displayed as the small pig backflipping to hit its enemies (and this is, of course, even funnier if it manages to kill something).
• Maia's romance can be this, as both her and the Watcher can be prone to snarking.
  Maia: You ever gotten close to someone, even though it just wasn't... ordinary?
  Watcher: A god stepped on me once.
  Maia: Yeah, that about kicks the legs out from 'ordinary,' doesn't it?
  • It gets even funnier when Maia suggests that she can only be with someone Ishiza likes. The watcher can ask if it means they have to romance the bird too. If the Watcher decides to get to know Ishiza, and decides to peer at its soul - they'll find Hylea is currently inhabiting it. She'll gladly offer (sometimes snarky) relationship advice, be very happy that the Watcher makes time in these troubled days for romance, and wish them luck with their "mating rituals".
    Hylea: Do you often turn to birds for relationship advice?
  • In the romance culmination scene it turns out that Ishiza's opinion didn't actually matter after all, and Maia was just testing the Watcher... as well as getting them to feed her bird.
    Watcher: So you were just tricking me into feeding Ishiza!
    Maia: Yeah, well... good shark meat is hard to come by!
• Tekēhu and Edér discuss pranks.
  Edér: Tekēhu, you ever use your water abilities to play tricks on people?
  Tekēhu: Certainly. One time I sold a priest a globe of water. It contained live fish.
  Edér: I don't get how that's a prank...
  Tekēhu: The trick was getting the globe to dissolve over his head, while he slept.
  Edér: I'm getting so many ideas right now... How do you feel about betraying the Watcher's trust?
• The fact that the only export that Dunnage has is listed "Pirates"
• While a lot of the Vox Machina Guest Fighter dialogue is hilarious, Scanlan, as always, has some of the best.
  Scanlan: [Leaving the party] Oh I get it, you want to infiltrate a group of really ugly cultists and you're afraid I'll blow your cover.
• Modwyr turns out to be quite the Troll:
  Modwyr: Iselmyr asked if she could buy me a drink — I said I only thirst for blood. (chuckles) Almost made Aloth pee his pants!
  • You can find an abandoned temple of Woedica with a magical mace called The Magisters Cudgel on a pedestal that requires a stat check to pick up due to a spell keeping you from taking it, if you try to take it with insufficient stats and Modwyr in your inventory she says this:
  Modwyr: Rymrgand's frigid ballsack.

  • There's also the cudgel itself, its item description is a bunch of legalese jargon and the "spell" protecting it is basically it mentally using said jargon to cow you into putting it back.
• One of the weapons you can equip in Deadfire is the Street Sweeper, an enchanted broom wielded as a quarterstaff, one of its abilities is to cause distraction on a successful hit simply because the enemy can't believe you would do this. You can later upgrade it to cause confusion instead. Your decision to fight them with a broom is so bizarre it effectively breaks their minds.
• Tekēhu's romance dialogue is filled with barely-veiled innuendo and bawdy humor. One example is that he bedded a Rauataian diplomat on the war room table, where she chided him for leaving his borders unprotected and he finished by crippling her when he fired a shot across her port side.
• Tekēhu's drunk misadventures in the Wild Mare. According to the barkeep, Gyntel, Tekēhu one night got as drunk as "a hagfish in a barrel of mead", and when Gyntel then refused to serve him any further, Tekēhu snuck behind the bar and stole his finest bottle of wine (Tekēhu spits in response that if that was Gyntel's "finest" wine, then what he did was charity) and then downed the entire bottle before clambering unto the stage (Tekēhu protests that someone with legs as his would never "clamber") pushing the performing dancer off of it in the process and then attempted to serenade the crowd with a sloppy rendition of "My Wahaki". When Gyntel then finally managed to kick Tekēhu out and angrily told him to never come back, Tekēhu tried to kiss him (Tekēhu looks as though he is going protest about this description of the events, but quickly thinks better of it).
• Queen Onekaza reveals at one point that she sent a basket of Koīki Fruit to Hazanui Karū as a "gift" to commemorate the anniversary of a past battle - one in which the Huana watershapers thoroughly embarrassed the Rauatai. The Watcher can describe this as "poking the hornet's nest," to which Onekaza agrees that there are some elements of diplomacy she enjoys. Better yet, you can subsequently ask the hazanui if she got Onekaza's fruit basket, and Karū confirms she did in a manner that makes it clear she's not happy about it. All of this is funny enough on its own, but to top it off, the description of Koīki Fruit makes it clear that it is the Deadfire version of a durian, a real life fruit with a very strong odor.
• The Watcher gets some snark in "A Glimpse Beyond."
  • If you sent Glasfahl to Rymrgand's realm:
    Glasfahl: I await my final end with most holy eagerness. Rest at last, without the torment of a soul or the threat of rebirth. Perfect unity and freedom. Forever.
    The Watcher: See, and I like existing. Which way is the exit?
  • And once you make it back:
    Flaune Elette: You had...some kind of vision? A Near-Death Experience?
    The Watcher: There was a warm light. And there were puppies.
• When you happen upon a tribe of xaurips playing some sort of game with their domesticated cave grubs, a druid can charm the beasts, and with the xaurips now at the mercy of their former pets, you can...
  The Watcher: [Inspire the grubs to do a wiggly dance.]
• The Harbingers in general are hilarious, in blackly comedic way. They’re a cult that worships Rymrgand and aren’t just your average, everyday Death Seekers; they strive to be totally and completely wiped from existence. You find many of them literally just sitting in the snow, politely waiting to freeze, and when the Messenger attacks Harbinger’s Watch, they all go running out, asking it to kill them like little kids asking for candy (it complies, if you’re curious).
  • Even funnier is Vatnir’s involvement in the whole thing. He’s the leader of a cult dedicated to death and entropy... and a bumbling Cowardly Lion who runs off to a panic room at the first sign of trouble. He spends his days giving them sermons that are half telling them what they want to hear, half asking them to stop killing themselves like idiots. He’s pretty much the only party member who begs for you to bring him along, simply because he’s so fed up with his fellow cultists.
• Sometimes, if the player ends an encounter too quickly, enemies that are meant to spawn mid-way through the fight will instantly drop dead, giving the impression that they are so afraid of the player that they die of fright.
• If you take Xoti with you to confront Eothas she'll repeatedly interrupt his attempts at drama to call out to him like an excited little girl.
• In general, despite the high stakes and the constant risk to their life, the Watcher can be played as though they're having the time of their lives sailing the high seas and generally treating the whole thing like a fun outing (at least to their crewmates).
• If the Watcher destroyed Concelhaut in the first game and takes Edér along when they confront the lich again, he'll treat the archmage like he's just found a lost cat ("We just want our little skull back"), while the Watcher can declare that there's a skull-shaped hole in their pack that not just any lich can fill.
  • The best part? You can kill Concelhaut again, and take his skull along again in the Pet slot, and he'll spout insults and ineffectual threats about getting vengeance.
• In one hilarious scenario you can scare off a Ship that wants a map you found. How? Well if you have enough slight of hand skill you can start juggling torches next to your gunpowder barrels. Once the other crew regains their wits they quickly get away from the crazy person below they blow up as well.
• Meeting with Arkemyr after burgling his manor and asking him if he has any leads. The narration notes that the corner of his mouth twitches slightly, though whether it was a frown or a smile is unspecified.
  • When asked if he wants you to steal the Harapo Epic back, he admits the idea is amusing but shoots it down.
  • If you've recruited Fassina and bring her along for the meeting she'll tell him that she quits. This prompts him to check something off a long piece of paper, indicating it must be common for him to burn through interns and that he likely expected it to happen eventually.
• These comments, in this order, after blowing up the powderhouse at the Brass Citadel and running away from the resulting massive explosion. Edér's delivery, as usual, is what really sells it.
  Tekēhu: I say we bring the fist of the gods down on our enemies!
  Aloth: I suggest we don't go back there any time soon!
  Edér: [wistfully] That takes me back to my childhood.
• During the Book of Woedica event, Woedica will complain that Eothas rampaging on Eora has contaminated their experiment. The Watcher can call out some of the other times the gods have meddled with Eora directly:
  The Watcher: Ondra dropped a moon on Eora. What do you call that?
  Woedica: Impulsive.

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