Funny / Ensign Sue Must Die

Spoilers Off applies to all Funny pages, so all spoilers are unmarked.

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• Prime!Spock's face in the second-to-last panel. Full of win.
• "Your consummate professionalism is nothing short of inspiring, Captain."
• "Live long and bite me."
  • Followed by "Jim's right, I am a jerk!"
    • The next strip adds Empress Sue LOVES the Agony Booth and is immune to Empire Kirk's Tantalus Field.
    • Both Sues trade notes on pets, and Squee when they see Empire Kirk in his sleeveless glory. Empire Kirk's response? "Damnit, Spock! If you don't get rid of at least ONE of them, it's the ice planet again!" Closing his eyes in defeat, Empire Spock goes, "Alright, we'll take ours back."
• Spock hesitating to fire on Ensign Sue, before she annoys him and he blasts her anyway. And still failing to murder Ensign Sue with his phaser (set for Pocket Death Star).
• Uhura's expression when she fails a Uriah Gambit involving Ensign Sue and Klingons.
• Ensign Two has already racked up a few of these given the circumstances of The Doctor having an extremely awkward team-up with Spock and Kirk, which is humorous in itself. Not many chapters in, one of the Sues (who is Part Time Lord) snatches the TARDIS while the three were shopping for Pokéballs in the Pokémon Universe, but Kirk's line in response to being stranded just seals it:
  Kirk: Just three grown men and their balls. Spectacular.
  • Even better, during Spock's team's capturing montage, all of the Pokéballs used are variations that make sense for that particular universe, such as a Dusk Ball for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, a Timer Ball for The Da Vinci Code, and a Master Ball to capture a Sue-transformer.
• "KIRK-SENPAI NOTICED ME!!!" —Captain Picard
• Aquaman's personality quickly going from stoic badass to squeeing schoolgirl to dumbstruck blond in the span of three panels.
  Aquaman: For realsies?
  • Also, why he was stoic and irritated in the first place: being mocked for This Looks Like a Job for Aquaman.
• Apparently, there are Mary Sues for AKIRA.
• Kirk introduces himself and The Doctor to Harry Potter as "my companion and I". The Doctor demands to know when he became the companion.
• To save the universe, Kirk must play along with the Original Sue. He is suitably annoyed at that.
• Wolverine's reveal as a Sue. With blonde hair and all.
  Uhura: Well, THAT should have been obvious.
• Kirk's face when he finally realizes the significance of Chekov's girlfriend.
  • The fact that he was wrong only makes it funnier.
• When Kirk is accused of being a sue all along. Complete with Star Wars style Luke, I Am Your Father imagery.
• The first words out of the newly regenerated Doctor's mouth, "Still not a Ginger."
• The Eleventh Doctor's expression of deadpan "Oh man" just before being shot by the Suetified Spock.
• As the Avengers and some of the Enterprise crew head towards the X-Mansion, one of the Avengers comments that they haven't fought anyone in almost two hours.
  Anyone else think that's weird? Wanna fight over it?
• In Ensign 3, the crew is trapped in the brig. How do they get out? Uhura kissed Mirror Sue and knocked her out.
  Chekov: That vas the best thing I've ever seen.
  Sulu: *sigh* At least we didn't go the "palm leaves and exotic dancing" route.
  McCoy: When we get Spock back, I'm telling.
• Shortly after the above happens, Kirk (Who is still in the middle of his HeroicBSOD in his cell) meets a strangely-familiar face in a Starfleet uniform who appears in his cell. Turns out its not exactly who he thinks it is.
  Kirk: Your face... That uniform... My god, are you...?
  Admiral Kirk?: Yes.
  *Takes off Starfleet uniform*
  Denny Crane: Denny Crane! I just came from a costume party. How are you doing?
  *Kirk just stares at him with a Flat "What" look on his face*
  • Followed a few strips later by T.J. Hooker speaking to Ensign Sue.
• Khan Prime explains why his battle with Khan should be a battle of wits. "Wits...AND THESE PUPPIES!"
• McCoy and the Doctor summing up Sue Prime's plan.
  The Doctor: "That... seems needlessly complex."
  McCoy: "Yeah... And are you seriously telling me the God of All Sues is destroying the fabric of the universe just to romance a wrinkled time-displaced Vulcan?"
  *Beat, with Sue Prime having an Oh, Crap! face and losing her shine*
  Wolverine: "For real?"
  Sue Prime: "GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS, OKAY?! STOP TROLLING ME!"
• "NO MORE-!" *SPLAT* Yes, the War Doctor and his omnious catchphrase can be used for comedy.
• Apparently, the alternate doctor from Doctor Who: The Curse of Fatal Death turned back into the 10th Doctor in the middle of a date with Kirk.

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