Bond takes Plenty O'Toole up to his hotel room, only to find Blofeld's goons waiting for him. One of them throws Plenty out the window after she takes her clothes off, and she lands in the pool wearing nothing but her purple high heels and her pink panties - with Plenty protesting from start to finish as her sexual humiliation is played for laughs ("I've got friends in this town!").
Bond is trapped in a pipeline with a rat, after having accidentally covering himself in Mr. Wint's perfume. James, to the rat: "Well, one of us smells like a tart's handkerchief. [sniffs] I'm afraid it's me. Sorry, old boy."
Bond using the crane to turn Blofeld's "Batho-sub" into a wrecking ball.
Blofeld: Lower! Not UP!
The transition from Slumber, Inc. to a much-needed hot bath for James Bond:
Shady Tree: Where the hell do you think you're going? James Bond: I hear that the Hotel Tropicana's quite comfortable. My condolences, gentlemen! [Morton Slumber slams the lid of the now-charred casket in disgust. Cut to Bond in the hot tub while on the phone with Felix Leiter] James Bond: Hello, Felix. Oh, very comfortable.
Earlier, before James Bond departs for Slumber, Inc. in the mortuary hearse with the waiting black suits, Felix Leiter does a courtesy inspection of the body to be burned and can't for the life of him figure out where the diamonds are. After Bond tells him, he swaps the diamonds for some convincing phonies off-screen before authorizing the delivery of the cargo to Slumber, Inc.
Felix Leiter: I give up. I know the diamonds are in the body, but where? James Bond: Alimentary, Dr. Leiter.
Fun fact: Albert R. Broccoli wanted that joke cut, because he thought people wouldn't get it, but he was persuaded to leave it in. At one screening, a group of people in the front row burst out laughing. Cubby's reaction: "Big deal, they're doctors".
"You don't just kill James Bond and wait for the cops to arrive!" Of course, Bond isn't really dead - he just placed his membership card to the Playboy Club onto a smuggler he was impersonating - but Tiffany's reaction is just priceless.
For that matter, the fact a small-time smuggler would know Bond's identity is hilarious (though understandable, given he constantly introduces himself by his real name).
When Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd trail Bond and Tiffany on the plane to Los Angeles, the latter quips "I must say, Miss Case seems quite attractive... for a lady." Wint turns to Kidd and gives a humorously disapproving look.
The "brother" scene, as James Bond, disguised as Mr. Franks, is taken to Slumber, Inc. by black suits under the employ of its funeral director, Morton Slumber.
Hearse Driver: The, uh, stiff... [clears throat] the deceased back there... your brother, Mr. Franks? James Bond: Yes. He was. Random Black Suit: I've got a brother! [Beat] James Bond: [smiling] Small world.
This subtle gem as Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd prepare their final attempt to kill an unsuspecting Bond and Tiffany with dinner aboard the cruise ship.
Not to mention the clever method by which Bond smokes out the two assassins at the dinner service.
Bond: The wine is quite excellent. Though for such a grand meal, I'd have rather expected a claret.
Mr. Wint: Of course, sir. Unfortunately, our cellar is rather poorly stocked with clarets.
Bond: Mouton Rotheschild is a claret. (Mr. Wint adjusts his bowtie) And I've smelled that aftershave before, and both times, I've smelled a rat.
While Bond is getting his briefing, he delivers a typical critique on the quality of the brandy being served - when he professes little knowledge on diamonds, M snorts "Refreshing to hear that there is one subject you're not an expert on!"
[Wint fires a real bullet out of the gun into Shady's head, and Kidd uses the flower to clean up the mess]
Kidd: Two's company, Mr. Wint.
Wint: And Tree... was a crowd, Mr. Kidd.
Mr. Wint & Mr. Kidd. Sure; They may be genuinely ruthless, sadistic and effective assassins. Sure; They may be portrayed in a rather problematic fashion as a heavily-implied gay couple note as in saying, "These guys are so evil and depraved that they're actually banging each other!". However; they're probably the most interesting, likeable and genuinely amusing thing in the entire movie. They look like clones◊ of Rich Little and David Crosby and come off as something out of a Warner Bros. or Hanna-Barbera cartoon.
Bond to some pipeline workers on having just survived Wint and Kidd's second attempt on his life:
The ending. After Bond disposes of Wint and Kidd by splashing one with a flammable liquid and literally hoisting the other with his own petard, Tiffany has one question for Bond as they do some nighttime stargazing, referring to the satellite that was still in orbit at the time: "How the hell do we get those diamonds down, again?"
After escaping the testsite, Bond tells Tiffany that he's got a friend named Felix who can fix anything. She asks if he's married, to which Bond shoots her an annoyed glance.
Then they get pulled over by the cops:
Tiffany: Relax, you've got a friend named Felix who can fix anything!
Bond: Unfortunately, so can Willard Whyte.
In the Circus scene, there's a bit where a baby elephant walks up to a slot machine, pulls the lever, and then trumpets with delight when it wins a jackpot with triple elephants. It's so random it's hilarious.
Wint and Kidd observe Bond and Tiffany on the plane to America.
Kidd: They're onboard. I must say, Miss Case is quite attractive. (Wint gives an unimpressed look) For a lady. (Kidd laughs, Wint still looks annoyed)