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Funny / Live and Let Die

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The Film

  • Sheriff J.W. Pepper nearly steals the film as he reacts to Bond's incredible chase in a boat and car that causes damage across half the swamp. "What are you? Some kind of doomsday machine, boy?!"
    Sheriff J.W. Pepper: "By the power invested in me by this parish, I do hereby commandeer this vehicle and all those persons within. And that means you, smartass."
    Trooper: Now, J.W., this feller's from England, see, he's workin' in cooperation with our boys, he's a, a, secret agent.
    Sheriff J.W. Pepper: Secret AGENT?!? On WHOSE SIDE?!?!?
    Sheriff J.W. Pepper: WE GOT SOME BLACK RUSSIANS!
  • Kananga using Bond's compressed air bullets to over-inflate Whisper's couch.
    • His initial reaction to the air pistol counts too.
    • Kananga's own death. It has to be seen to be believed.
    • And there's also his reaction to a shark gaining on him and Bond as they fight in the water, frantically pointing at it as Bond grapples with him, as if to say "Dude, I know you want to strangle me and all, but there's a giant shark!"
  • "Butterhook."
  • Felix Leiter (deadly serious): "Get me a make on a white Pimpmobile!"
  • When Bond draws The Fool from Solitaire's tarot deck, she quips, "You have found yourself."
  • M and Bond's bickering at the beginning of the film, including Bond's attempts to keep him from finding a VERY prominent Italian operative that he was sleeping with. A highly amused Moneypenny even joins in.
    • M's shock at Bond using his magnet watch to pull the sugar spoon from his plate and Bond's claim that the watch can deflect bullets. M wishes he could test that theory "right now."
  • Rosie Carver's freakout at finding a dead snake in the bungalow.
    Bond: Oh, I forgot! You should never go in there without a mongoose.
    • Promptly followed up by his deadpan reaction to finding a hat with a bloody chicken feather (a voodoo warning).
    Bond: It's just a hat belonging to a small-headed man of limited means who lost a fight with a chicken!
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  • When Rosie enters Bond's bungalow and he throws on her bed, her wig flies off and she rather awkwardly tries to get it back on before realizing it's kind of pointless and just stops.
  • The sheer directness of Mr. Big's handling of Bond.
    Bond: My name is—
    Mr. Big: Names is for tombstones, baby. Take this honky out and waste him! NOW!
    • When Tee Hee uses his prosthetic arm to crush Bond's PPK, Bond then nonchalantly dumps it in a garbage bin.
    • Before that, Bond gets owned by the waiter. He asks for information and hands the man a hundred. Bond's question is interrupted by his table turning around and placing him in Mr. Big's secret base. The waiter silently pockets the money, sips on Bond's drink and goes back to work.
  • Bond tries to escape by commandeering a small plane, and a student pilot:
    Bond: Let's just wing it, shall we, Mrs. Bell?
    • Afterwards:
    Leiter: [on the phone] Yes, Mr Bleeker. [listens] Yes, sir. I know you just can't glue the wings back on.
  • Miss Caruso, Bond's beautiful Italian lover in the opening, trying to hide in the closet in the hopes that her affair with Bond won't be discovered, stunning Ms. Moneypenny in the process. And then Bond undresses her again anyway ("Sheer magnetism, darling.").
    Bond: You're not married by any chance, are you?
  • Although Bond's tricking Solitaire into giving up her virginity is one of the most callous things he's ever done, his deadpan 'confession' afterwards is pretty hilarious:
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  • As Bond makes his escape:
    Adam (over the radio, addressing the mooks): "Bond ripped off one of our boats. He's headed for the Irish bayou. The man who gets him stays alive. Now MOVE, you mother-----!"
    (cut to the various mooks scrambling towards speedboats of their own to begin the chase).
  • The cops having to deal with Kananga's men; one of them has a boat go straight through their car.
  • Pretty much any scene with Tee-Hee; truly, he is aptly named.
    Bond: Funny how the least little thing amuses him.
    • Especially amusing is his first effort to kill Bond, where he casually leads Bond to the crocodile infested waters of the farm but all the while has an otherwise casual chat with Bond about their nature. One could almost forget that it is intended to be an execution, as Tee-Hee and Bond talk civilly through the whole scene.
      • Then of course, there's when Bond is left on the rock to face his makers.
    Tee-Hee: There are two ways to disable a crocodile, you know.
    Bond: I don't suppose you'd care to extend that information to me?
    Tee-Hee: Well one way is to take a pencil, and jam it in the pressure hold behind his eye.
    Bond: (Thumbs for a pen) And the other?
    Tee-Hee: Oh the other's twice as simple. You just put your hand in his mouth....And pull his teeth out! (Walks away cackling)

Behind The Scenes

  • From Roger Moore's autobiography:
    • During filming, the star suffered an onset of kidney stones. While receiving medical attention, this irritating man appeared and started asking him formal questions, such as his name, who he worked for and their address (which he didn't know). The man asked for Moore's address, which he gave. Then the man asked why his house didn't have a number. Moore replied that his house had a name, not a number. The man asked how the mailman finds him. Moore, in a lot of pain and his patience finally reached its end, yelled, "BECAUSE I'M FUCKING FAMOUS!
    "Oh. Oh!" he said sheepishly, sliding sideways out of my room never to be seen again.
    • When Moore was cast, he received a phone call from Harry Saltzman telling him that Albert R. Broccoli thinks he should lose weight. So he went on a diet. Then Saltzman called again telling him that Cubby thinks he's a little out of shape, so he went on a fitness regime. Then Cubby rang telling him that Saltzman thinks his hair's too long. An exasperated Moore said, "Why don't you just cast a thin, fit, bald fellow in the first place and avoid putting me through this hell?"
    • While filming one scene, Saltzman brought some friends to the set and was talking quite loudly. The assistant director then said, "Quiet on the set! And that includes you, Mr Saltzman, sir!"

The Novel


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