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Funny / On Her Majesty's Secret Service

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The Film

  • "This never happened to the other fella."
  • The janitor's whistling of Goldfinger.
  • A mook in the hotel room randomly throws the fight. And then same mook is later seen unloading a flamethrower on a Piz Gloria guard and even applauding the bride and groom at the end.
  • "Moneypenny, what would I do without you?"
  • GASP! "Fancy meeting you here, Fräulein!" (whack to the head afterwards)
  • Bond scheduling an encounter with a different girl every hour. That's how he got caught.
    Bond: You've no idea how the work is piling up!
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  • Also, Bond using the exact same lines with each girl...
  • Ruby gazing and giggling when Bond drops his kilt in her room.
  • "Sir Hillary" feeling a slight...stiffness ...in the shoulder at the table.
  • "Sir Hillary" describing to Fräulein Bunt what her name stands for.
  • "I got the gadgets and I know how to use them."
  • "Of course, I know what he's allergic to..."
  • During the night ski chase, a mook launches off a ramp and goes flying into a tree, slowly clattering to the ground from it like a cartoon. Another mook grumbling "Idiot!" as they pass him is the cherry on top.
  • After a mook falls into the path of a moving snowblower and is shredded to pieces by it: "He had lots of guts."
  • Bond casually flipping through the target's Playboy while he waits for a safecracker to work. At one point the scene cuts back to Bond as he folds up the centerfold with a smile on his face ... and then he opens it up again after glancing at the cracker.
    • And then as he leaves after sending out the stolen documents, he's seen folding up the stolen centrefold of the Playboy to take with him.
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  • Blofeld's "I have taught you to love chickens" line while brainwashing Ruby.
  • The teenagers yelling, "Say it with flowers!" when they drove past Bond's Aston Martin, all covered in white flowers.
  • "But today's the fourteenth, Commander."
  • For pure Values Dissonance, Draco's insistence that the cure for Tracy's rebelliousness is "[a] MAN! to DOMINATE her!!", which is so dissonant even Bond doesn't think much of that proposal.
  • After Bond escapes from Piz Gloria to a nearby village, he is seen by Irma Bunt's patrol car and attempts to hide in a shed. It probably would have worked... had the shed not been filled with cowbells that he accidentally backs into. The resulting fight with two mooks sound very... different than your average fistfight.
  • While Blofeld is conversing with Tracy near the end of the film:
    Blofeld: If you're very nice to me... I could make you my countess. *Kisses her hand*
    Blofeld: Whereas if you displease me, I can promise you a very different estate.
    Grunther: Excuse me, sir?
    Blofeld: Yes?
    Grunther: There is something on the radio you should hear.
    Blofeld: ...Excuse me. *Leaves*

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  • A very brief one here, but when Piz Gloria blows up, you can just about see a SPECTRE mook spinning through the air like a samurai star. Once you see it, you can never unsee it and it's hysterical.
  • Bond is abducted by Draco's goons at his hotel, one of which he had fight with in Tracy's hotel room the night before. He puts on a hilariously cheery facade upon seeing him.
    Bond: You've thought of everything. What a lovely surprise, our meeting again so soon.
    The goon threatens him with a knife.
    • While in the car:
    Bond: So, where's the party, this time?
    Main goon: You have an appointment.
    Bond: Business or pleasure? (Silence) Mystery tour, eh? (Indicates the knife) I think we'll enjoy it more without that.
    The goon removes the knife and grunts in agreement.

The Novel

The Radio Adaptation:

  • When Bond is on his way to Piz Gloria to storm it, he is the one that converses with Zurich Information. He increasingly loses his patience with the person on the other end to sell the illusion that they lost his flight plan papers, and it works.
    Bond: Listen, for further information, contact "International Red Cross" at Geneva. I'm just a doctor. (Plane roars outside) If you have lost the papers, that is not my fault, nor my pilots, and please call off the Swiss air force, which is, at present, trying to make all my passengers airsick!

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