- I AM BLIND!
- "Why did you do this to me, God?! Why couldn't you cure a disease or create a new animal?!"
- While he's blind, the news team visits him and he laments that he can't do several things that he should still be able to do despite being blind. Brian seems to be the only one to realize this.Brian: Drinking half a bottle of ketchup takes like eight or nine gulps. How did you not know...Ron: Do I have to spell it out for you? I'M BUH-LIIIND!
- Early on, Ron is driving the rest of the News Team out to New York. Everyone is in the back drinking beers and shooting the shit while the camper is set on Cruise Control. The moment they realize that's not how cruise control works, they get into an accident where the camper (and everyone inside) is tossed around. In slow motion. Everyone but Brick is panicking and mugging; Brick goes through the air in a nonchalant lounging pose. Meanwhile, the others are hit by the various random items that have been pointed out inside the camper, like Champ getting oil in the face from the deep fryer, Brian getting hit in the face with a bag of bowling balls, a scorpion landing on Ron's face.Ron: [as the Winnebago stops rolling] Well that's gonna make a hell of a story!
- The climactic fight scene. ALL OF IT. They actually made it even more ridiculously over-the-top than the original.
Jill: I'm so horny right now.
- To be precise, it started out as a two-team brawl between Ron's team and Jack's team similar to the first movie, but it then escalates into an epic brawl with the BBC News team, the MTV News team, the ESPN team, a Canadian news team, an entertainment news team, a history news team (including a minotaur and the ghost of Gen. Stonewall Jackson) and the WBC president who turns into a were-hyena. What follows is an epic battle with axes, cannons, Jackson stealing people's souls, fighter jets and Brick armed with a ray gun from the future!!
- And he was holding his trident from the previous movie.Ron: ...Brick, what the hell is that?
Brick: [casually] It's a gun, from the future.
Wesley Jackson: No fair! He's got a gun from the future!
Ron: Where did you get it from?
- Ron's speech (specifically the part where he says people will die) elicits this response from Jill Jansen:
(Wendy Van Peel looks over at her)
- Let's not forget the casting for this scene, with Sacha Baron Cohen as part of the BBC news team, Kanye West leading MTV, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler from the entertainment news team, Jim Carrey and Marion Cotillard from the apologetic Canadian team, Liam Neeson leading the history news team with John C. Reilly as Stonewall Jackson's ghost, and Will Smith from the ESPN news team, ending with Kirsten Dunst as a Greek goddess giving them the okay to start the brawl.
- When the WBC president turns into a were-hyena, the MTV News head tells one of his crew to call Michael Jackson and tell him he has a music video idea. Somewhat funnier by the fact that he never shows up again and just vanishes from the fight.Champ: I hope he's on our side.
- After the fifth news team shows up:
Ron: There's so much we can learn from you!Stonewall Jackson: SOOOOULS!
- Brian using his Sex Panther cologne like a stink bomb and proceeds to suffocate the Canadian news team with it. The smoke even forms the image of a real panther.
- When Jack tries to call Wes Mantooth's bluff by pointing out that Wes wouldn't be willing to burn himself up, Wes says "with the things I've done in my life?" with psychotic mirth. Badass and hilarious all at once.
- Ron, awestruck, tries to reason with the ghost of Stonewall Jackson
- From the ending, as Ron makes it to Walter's recital.Ron: I fought a minotaur to get here and I'd do it again!
- The entire subplot with Doby the shark.
- Brick thinking he's dead and giving his own eulogy!Brick: When I got the news, I didn't even know how to make sense out of it!Ron: None of us understand!
- Ed Harken's opening words at the funeral reveal in all the years Brick worked at the news station, he apparently never cashed any of his checks. And when he finishes speaking, Brick thought he was a minister.
- Brick says he's not going to rest until he finds his killer, prompting even more confusion from Ron.
- Brick's butter commercial.
- "93! 93!"
- Heck, that entire scene. Brick doesn't get why you shouldn't wear green pants when on a green-screen.Brick: Where's the map? I need a map.
Ron: It's on the screen.
Brick: Oh....WHERE ARE MY LEGS?! HOW AM I STANDING?! AAAAHHH!
- Heck, that entire scene. Brick doesn't get why you shouldn't wear green pants when on a green-screen.
- Brian saying he's gonna go back to hanging out with O.J. Simpson, Phil Spector, and Robert Blake. Apparently, they call themselves "The Ladykillers."
- Brick and his girlfriend making out in the laundromat, with her butt pressed against the window (while wearing men's briefs).
- The scene where Ron and Linda have sex and the scene is intercut with clips of prominent moments in understanding between white and black people...Jackie Robinson...Captain Kirk kissing Lt. Uhura...and Diff'rent Strokes.
- Champ's new fried chicken joint serves fried bat. He calls them "the chicken of the cave".
- "You know what they call cats don't you? Chicken of the rail yard!"
- Ron's dinner with Linda's family, which culminates in him calling them "pipe-hittin' bitches".
- "LET'S LEAVE AND GO HAVE INTERRACIAL SEX!"
- "A black man follows me everywhere when it's sunny! I call him Leon."
- "What happens when it's cloudy?"
- "He goes home."
- When Brick and Chani have a date, Brian suggests that Brick use one of his (many) condoms. Specifically, he brags about how proud he is that the condom was responsible for four illegitimate children.Ron: But...isn't the purpose of a condom to prevent pregnancy?
Brian: Well Ron, to quote the old saying, nope.
- Veronica chewing out Ron for taking their son to bet on cockfights as a "bonding activity".Ron: He picked eight winning cocks, it's never been done!
- "Hey Ron! You're missing some quality Garfield!"
- "BY THE HYMEN OF OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN!"
- Also, "BY THE BEDPAN OF GENE RAYBURN!"
- The Incredibly Polite Canadian News Team, eh?
- Ron, Champ and Brian's piece on crack's recent popularity, titled "Vials of Smiles". They proceed to samples of crack live in the studio. The R rated version is better, with the stage crew trying to get them to stop smoking crack. The signs were "DON'T SMOKE CRACK" and "STOP, COPS!"Ron: I understand we have some crack, and we're going to smoke it here in the studio. [Inhales] Woah. Wow, wow, you can feel that right away. Now that is just refreshing. (goes to light the pipe)
Crew Member 1: They're actually enjoying it.Crew Member 2: Of course they're enjoying it. It's crack.Ron: *Sees the "STOP, COPS!" sign* What's that? Stop! Oh, apparently the police are here. The police are here? Really?(Smash Cut to the entire news team face-down on the pavement outside, being arrested)Ron: Well, now we know guys.. You can't smoke crack on live television!
- If you watch closely, Brick wasn't actually arrested (since he didn't smoke crack in the scene). He's just lying on the ground.
- Brick's speech at the ending:Brick: Ron, you are a good man, but you have fallen victim to your own ego and hubris. Now, you have taken steps towards righting the wrongs you have done. But before others can forgive you, you must journey inside and forgive yourself.
Ron: ...Brick, what'd you just say?
Brick: I'm wearing two pairs of pants.
- We spend the whole movie convinced that Ron just thinks Gary has psychic powers because Ron is confused by the term psychologist. Then out of nowhere during the brawl, Gary saves Ron with Telekinesis.
- Ron's high pitched screaming at the beginning, "They're coming in through the back door. Grab the children. Save the children."
- Veronica's reaction to the housekeeper siding with Ron in the beginning, "I will lock you in a closet."
- Ron's terrible parenting skills. From taking his son to cockfights, and then when his son thinks there's a ghost in his closet, Ron's response results in an angry phone call from Veronic.Veronica: He hasn't slept for four days, Ron! Everywhere we go, he asks me if we're going to Haiti!
Funny / Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues