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Quotes: Never My Fault
We must blame them and cause a fuss
Before somebody thinks of blaming us

A bad workman blames his tools.
English Proverb

"There's man all over for you, blaming on his boots the faults of his feet."

“We are all exceptional cases. We all want to appeal against something! Each of us insists on being innocent at all cost, even if he has to accuse the whole human race and heaven itself.”
Albert Camus, The Fall

Somehow this is your fault!

Don't blame me. Blame society.
Carl "CJ" Johnson, committing one of his many carjackings, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

Considering that my life's in shambles right now, could you at least take the blame?
Calvin, Calvin and Hobbes, March 15, 1989

Following on from the cheapness laws, you will soon get to learn that nothing is ever your fault when it comes to gaming.

But I didn't know anything about it, so it's not my fault. Everybody keeps on blaming me—it's not my fault! I didn't make this happen! Master Van said to do it, after all. I was just trying to help! It's not my fault! Why is everybody leaving me? It's not my fault...
Luke fon Fabre, on destroying Akzeriuth, Tales of the Abyss Synopsis

Well, Kif, stand by to take the blame. Steady... Steady ... Now!
Zapp Brannigan, Futurama

Lister: Rimmer, you can't blame me for your lousy life.
Rimmer: It's not just you, it's been all my bunkmates.
Lister: See? It's never you, is it? It's always someone or something else. 'You never had the right pens for your G&E drawing.' 'Your dividers don't stretch far enough.'
Rimmer: Well they don't!
Red Dwarf: Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers

Red Mage: You're a mass murdering psycho.
Black Mage: If you think about it, that's really their problem.

What have I—what have they done to you?!

(Logan, who Heather forced to race Ash, has just crashed)
Heather: This… this isn't my fault…
Emily: For God's sake, OWN UP TO THIS.

(Immediately after Anakin Force chokes his wife Padme in a fit of rage)
Anakin Skywalker: You turned her against me!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: You have done that yourself.
Anakin Skywalker: You will not take her from me!
Obi-Wan Kenobi: Your anger and your lust for power have already done that.

Rick: Oh, no, the front door's exploded! Vyvyan!
Mike: Vyvyan!
Vyvyan: Vyvyan, Vyvyan, Vyvyan! Honestly! Whenever anything explodes in this house, it's always "Blame Vyvyan"!!
Mike: Well, who do you suggest we blame?
Rick: Thatcher!
Vyvyan: No! Blame whoever rang the front doorbell, 'cuz they obviously triggered off the bomb I set up!
The Young Ones, "Nasty"

Robotnik: Coconuts! I was bamboozled by Sonic, and it's all your fault!
Coconuts: What are you talking about? I wasn't even there!
Robotnik: Silence! I'm the boss, I can blame whoever I want!
Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, "Full-Tilt Tails"

This is everybody's fault but mine.

Anyway, as I was saying, the police that were guarding the meteorite landing left suddenly to deal with the Sharks. [...] Suddenly, I noticed that Picky was gone. I blame the cops... it certainly wasn't my fault at all.
Pokey Minch, EarthBound

Franziska von Karma: If it weren't for traitors like you...
Miles Edgeworth: "I would've won." Is that what you want to say?
[...]
Miles Edgeworth: What am I going to do with you...? Still blaming others when things go wrong? You haven't changed a bit, Franziska.
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Justice for All

If I can't find love slapping around somewhere in one of these virtual cesspools, well, then it's probably everyone's fault but mine, just like literally everything else.

"I can't help feeling that this is somehow Meg's fault."
Peter Griffin, after accidentally running over Brian

"I didn't mean to do that! The controls are fucking lagging!"
"There are certain men in the world who rather see everybody hung before they'll take blame."
Joe Keller hypocritically blaming Steve in All My Sons

"We now return to My Kids are Bad and I Want to Blame Others."
Morty Williams, "Phineas and Ferb Get Busted"

"How shall I say what I am thinking? She cannot be entirely blameless in this - "
Spock, pondering the Big Bad's motive for revenge, Spock's World.

Cruella is impervious to outside ideas! (It's "never her fault.")
— Profile on Cruella De Vil from 101 Dalmatians, Disney Dossiers: Files of Characters From the Walt Disney Studios

"He was arrogant. He panicked. Got cocky. And turned himself into a monster. Flash forward to now — he is angry at everyone but himself for what he has done to his home, his company, and his mind."

"''Let's see... take responsibility for my own life, or blame you? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! 'Blame you' wins hands down!"
Bowler Hat Guy, Meet the Robinsons

"The fuck did I do?"
Jimmy McNulty's Catch Phrase on The Wire (said, more often than not, when he knows perfectly well what he's done)

Rabbit: It all comes from eating too much!
Pooh: It all comes from not having front doors big enough!

"Talk of high taxes. Jack: 'It annoys me the way they [The Pentagon] throw money around.' No sense, however, that he might control the waste. But then most presidents complain of 'they'; presidents also tend to feel insufficiently admired by the nation, whose good luck it is to have so fine and selfless a leader."
Gore Vidal on John F. Kennedy, Palimpsest

"So according to Joss, putting Michael Wincott, Ron Perlman, Brad Dourif, J.E. Freeman and Sigourney Weaver in your ALIEN movie is horrible casting. And the director, who also directed City Of Lost Children, might as well be Helen Keller. But the writer, the guy who gave Ripley a robovag sidekick more annoying than C-3P0, and made the main villain a fucking Muppet Baby? You insult him in a dream, you better wake up and apologize."

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