Fanfic / We Can Be Heroes! (Steven Universe)

We Can Be Heroes! is a Steven Universe fanfic by Utini501, and is set in a universe where, instead of staying on Earth and working things out with Peridot, Lapis Lazuli decides to leave Earth and its troubles behind after Same Old World. With only Peridot's repurposed escape pod and a CD Player Steven gave her as her only mementos, Lapis travels to the Nova Veluti System in hopes of being able to live a quiet life away from the Crystal Gems and Homeworld.

Too bad things aren't going to be that easy. When her ship runs out of fuel and gets towed away for improper parking, Lapis is thrown into a series of misadventures across the galaxy involving friendly and hostile aliens, crooked crime syndicates, corrupt corporations, and Homeworld defectors. Saying that Lapis isn't happy would be an understatement, but she'll have to roll with the punches if she wants to commit to this new life of hers...

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Tropes:

• Abhorrent Admirer: While performing water tricks in the streets of Krapton for money, Lapis attracts the attention of a frumpy, ugly Kazkani mobster who creeps her out with his constant leering. When he asks for her to show him her feet, she emotionlessly flicks him far over the horizon with a giant water hand.
• Abusive Parents:
  • Ma and Dad Kazkani weren't exactly in the running for parents of the year, according to Su. They sold their conjoined twin daughters Razz and Pazz to a freak show as children, and Ma Kazkani is said to have regularly beaten one of her other kids for stuttering... until Val beat her up in return.
  • Jowls is just as bad a parent as the original bosses, and is shown physically and verbally abusing her son when ordering the lower ranking Kazkanis around.
  • Tschermakite's Establishing Character Moment shows her as this: she bullies her adopted son Rubicu into using himself as bait to orchestrate a sting operation to arrest crime lord Broodmother Thaddigyne, and he's deprived of food, water, and sleep before being thrown into an arena where he's almost killed by a feral bug monster. When he survives and tells her he's safe, her first reaction is to freak out on him for not giving her camera Robonoids good enough footage for their news broadcast.
• Adaptational Intelligence: Greg wasn't an idiot in canon, but Steven Universe: Future revealed that he was still a bit of a manchild who still shirks some of his responsibilities. That aspect is gone here, where a flashback to Lapis hanging out with Steven and Greg opens with Greg getting ready to take Steven to see Dr. Maheswaran for a shot, something Steven called Greg out for never doing in canon.
• Adaptational Sexuality: Aside from Ship Tease with Peridot, Lapis' sexuality was never confirmed one way or another in canon. In this fic however, she's explicitly written as bisexual.
• Adaptational Villainy:
  • Downplayed with Peridot. She's currently a good guy who went through the same character development that she did in the show, but in the fic's backstory Peridot is said to have tortured Lapis for information about the Earth. While she did interrogate Lapis in canon, there's no indication that any torture was involved.
  • Played straight with the Diamond Authority as a whole, though. In canon, Word of God states that none of the worlds colonized by the Diamonds had sentient life on them, and that their failed colonization of Earth was when they first made contact with sentient life. In this fic, the Diamond Authority has a large history of waging war with sentient species, and a Great Offscreen War happened with Gem defectors and allied organics successfully fought off a weakened post-Pink Diamond's shattering Homeworld. Minor villain Leik is even a refugee from a planet successfully conquered by Homeworld.
• Agri World: Elysia is a planet that's been colonized by large farming communities, and is a chief exporter of lumber, animal, and mining products in the galaxy.
• A Lady on Each Arm: Val Kazkani is introduced like this, which helps establish his status as a sleazy hedonistic mafioso.
• Albinos Are Freaks: Su states that her parents hoped to exploit this trope by grooming the albino Val into becoming the future head of the Kazkani 500. Given that he grew up into a violent thug of a mobster who loves breaking fingers, it's safe to say that they succeeded.
• Aliens of London: Plenty of aliens have recognizable accents from various Earth locales: Most Hopkoblins speak in thick Brooklyn accents, Rolo's accent is Jamaican, and the citizens of Golden Acres speak in a pronounced southern drawl.
• All Trolls Are Different: Hemlok is a burly alien described as "troll-like", and is massively tall, stout, and has a gigantic red nose as well as a thick cockney accent. He also rockets around in a heavy suit of power armor powered by jet boosters.
• Amazonian Beauty: Dahlia Thorne is described as a ruggedly attractive, muscular dragon alien, and was not only in a relationship with Hurley in the past, but flusters Lapis with her good looks.
• Amazon Chaser: Hurley loves strong women, and all three of his known lovers have been physical powerhouses with bulky builds and headstrong personalities: his ex-wife Pernice, his ex-girlfriend Dahlia Thorne, and his other ex-girlfriend Big Biz. Lapis also has elements of this herself, given her dream about being doted on by hot muscular dragon aliens.
• Anger Born of Worry: Biz's anger and rudeness towards Hurley regarding his obesity stems from genuine concern for his health, which in turn stems from trauma related to seeing so many organic aliens die in their prime.
• "Ass" in Ambassador: Honest Ironbeak is a literal brand ambassador of Tschermacorp, and goes from planet to planet trying to strike deals with the populace so they'll allow Tschermacorp to establish a presence. He's also a smarmy slimeball who views the farmers and rural folk of Golden Acres as inbred rubes, and threatens the town's safety when he's shooed off by its populace.
• Ax-Crazy: Sargasso, who mostly "talks" by laughing maniacally while mercilessly trying to shock his opponents into oblivion.
• Badass Bystander: When the Blackthorn Pirates fight Lapis and friends, they're already losing before an angry mob of Golden Acres' gun-toting citizens forces them to cut their losses and flee. And when the Corrupted Ruby they left behind attacks, they help Lapis, Cloud Agate, and Black Spinel fight it off.
• Balloon Belly: Lapis ends up massively bloated after gorging herself on Rolo's cooking in Chapter 7.
• Bar Brawl: Lapis accidentally starts one at a rest stop, all because her punching the Jerkass bartender in the face resulted in a chain reaction of violence when said bartender's counterattack accidentally hit someone else.
• Battle Couple: A pair of Rubies nicknamed Handy and Gunshow are among the Prism Rangers who rescue Rubicu from Broodmother Thaddigyne's arena in Chapter 12, and kill the Marsh Ripper that's menacing him.
• Beast Man: Certain alien races are essentially just anthropomorphic animals: Monae like Rolo are electric anemone-men, Tunnelkin like Tadd are molemen, etc.
• Benevolent Boss:
  • Ironbeak seems to be a good boss to Miss Plum. Despite his otherwise smug and condescending nature, he's polite to her and can't bring himself to punish her when she teases him for the "Beach Babe Tschermakite" doll she catches him talking to, opting instead to bribe her to keep it between them.
  • Dahlia Thorne views her gang as family, and when she accidentally knocks out Rafi during her fight with Lapis and Biz, she apologizes to him while in a state of visible distress.
• Berserk Button: A good way to piss off Biz is to mock or make light of anything having to do with helping stop Homeworld's attempted colonization of Nova Veluti, intentionally or not. As shown by her interaction with Watermelon Tourmaline, it seems to stem from the trauma of losing millions of troops and wanting their sacrifices to have meant something.
• Bifauxnen: Sugar is described as being beautiful, yet androgynous, likely as a nod to Rebecca Sugar's status as a nonbinary woman in real life.
• Big Beautiful Man: Despite being middle-aged and fat, Hurley wins over more than his fair share of ladies thanks to his kind, easy-going demeanor. His large size makes him appealing to Black Spinel in particular, who calls him "That hot fat guy" when letting Biz know that he's arrived at Golden Acres' clinic.
• Big Beautiful Woman: One of Val's bikini-clad girlfriends is a chubby Hopkoblin woman named Silva, and he dotes on her just as much as the skinnier Goldie.
• Big Creepy-Crawlies: Marsh Rippers are basically bigger, scarier giant water bugs, and one is used by a crime lord to execute her enemies in an underground battle arena.
• Big Eater: Lapis definitely seems to have a gluttonous streak in this fic. It appears that once Steven introduced her to food, she was hooked.
• Big Fun: Hurley is a plump, cuddly alien who looks like a Muppet, and talks like a jovial blue-collar Southerner. Steven and Greg also have this going for them like they did in the show, and are among the few of the Earth's inhabitants that Lapis has properly bonded with.
• Big Red Devil: The corrupted Ruby takes on a form similar to this.
• Brutal Honesty: Lapis doesn't mince words when she thinks something is stupid and weird, and calls out Hurley's idea for a potential Lapis/Sugar band name as Sugar Water as dumb, among other things.
• Butch Lesbian: In traditional Ruby fashion, Handy and Gunshow are rough-and-tumble tomboys who happen to be deeply in love with each other.
• Butt-Monkey:
  • Sometimes Lapis' misfortunes are played for laughs, other times they aren't. But once she leaves Earth for Nova Veluti, nothing goes right for her, starting when her ship runs out of fuel and gets towed away on top of that.
  • Once Hurley breaks Jowls' arm, any sense of threat and menace she had goes flying out the window. She's constantly irritating her broken arm, falls over in terror when an incapacitated Hurley lunges at her, and gets attacked by the hounds she abused before Lapis throws her through the ceiling of the family's HQ.
• The Cameo: Kiki Pizza makes a brief voice-only appearance in Chapter 7's flashback sequence, which has Lapis eating for the first time.
• Cheerful Child: Along with a canonical example in Steven, Lapis meets Tadd Spadeclaw, a mole-alien slave boy who's quite chipper and friendly once he's freed from his abusive family. She also meets a rambunctious little girl named Tandy in Golden Acres, whose idea of a warm welcome is playfully jumping on people's backs from atop a hangar and knocking them to the ground, much to Lapis' annoyance.
• Conservation of Ninjutsu: Definitely in play here: when Lapis takes on the aptly named Kazkani 500, she barely breaks a sweat while fighting almost all 500 of them at once with only one of them actually landing a blow on her. When she fights the 5-man Blackthorn Pirates they put up a far better fight, though they do have super powers, incredible tech, and can put up a proper fight against her water powers. Then, there's the Corrupted Ruby who puts up an even better fight against Lapis and nearly shatters her at one point.
• Cool Big Sis: Garnet plays this role in her brief appearance, where she puts Steven and Peridots' fears over Lapis' safety to rest by using her future vision and determining that Lapis will safely arrive at Nova Veluti despite not having enough fuel for the full trip.
• Cool Old Guy: Hurley is a kind old soul who goes out of his way to help those in need, and is unfailingly optimistic on top of that. He's also a hell of a surprisingly good fighter, should the situation call for it.
• Creator Cameo: Gem celebrity Sugar is basically Rebecca Sugar in Gem form, and even sings "Everything Stays", a song her character from Adventure Time sang.
• Cuddle Bug: Black Spinel loves wrapping her elastic, noodly limbs around people in a big bear hug, often leaving them severely disoriented in the process.
• Cuteness Proximity: Chapter 14 opens with Lapis enamored with a Mauranic hookbill/dodo bird, and giving him affectionate belly rubs while sweetly baby-talking him.
• Dark Is Not Evil: Big Biz looks less like a proper Bismuth and more like some kind of shadow monster, but she's a good-hearted doctor who dedicates her life to helping the sick and wounded.
• Deep South: Golden Acres is an alien farming town modeled after the American South, and is full of gun-toting hicks threatening outsiders with violence while the more passive townsfolk are still hostile and frigid. However, this is due to the town being hassled by Tschermacorp goons looking to exploit their land and people for profit, as the town avoids running into a lot of the nastier quirks associated with this trope and comes off as an otherwise heavenly slice of southern hospitality once Lapis has endeared herself to the locals.
• Defrosting Ice King: Lyle initially hates Lapis and Tadd when they arrive in Golden Acres, and goes as far as to threaten to shoot them if he thinks they're up to no good. But when they stop a Tschermacorp-backed plan to burn the town down so the company can take over and rebuild, he realizes that his paranoia was misplaced and becomes a lot nicer.
• Demoted to Extra: The Crystal Gems have taken a big backseat in this story so far. While Steven's featured prominently through the beginning and is constantly featured in Lapis' flashbacks, only Peridot has had prominent screentime while Garnet's gotten one scene and Pearl and Amethyst have yet to appear at all.
• Despair Event Horizon: When the Blackthorn Pirates find Hurley after being betrayed by him 25 years ago, Hurley is donkey-punched by repressed guilt for being responsible for their torturous stay at a Hellhole Prison as well as repressed guilt for having been a violent criminal and failure of a father and a husband, causing him to drink and eat himself into a miserable stupor. Thankfully, Biz and Lapis snap him out of it.
• Dirty Cop:
  • While some are said to have their hands tied due to their loved ones being threatened, most of Krapton's police force are firmly in the Kazkanis' pocket. One even threatens to arrest Rolo when he calls her out for having taken a bribe from Val.
  • Watermelon Tourmaline shows that the Prism Patrol has a few of these in their ranks, given that she's introduced threatening to jail Golden Acres' citizens when they (rightfully) accuse Tschermacorp of trying to burn down the city so they can by up the land and "fix everything". Hemlok was also this during his tenure with as a Prism Ranger, with Word of God saying that he ran a Monster Protection Racket before being kicked out for it.
• Dirty Coward: Hurley accuses Val and his inner circle of being this when Dollface subtly threatens a child to keep Hurley from putting the hurt on her big brother.
• Doctor Jerk: Big Biz does care about her patients' well-being, but she's very gruff and rude about trying to make people like Hurley adopt better lifestyle choices. Her co-worker Cloud Agate is generally nicer, but downright militant about decontaminating people who enter Biz's clinic before they do anything and is harsh to the Robonoids she uses in the process.
• Dude Magnet: Lapis' good looks get her plenty of male attention in Nova Veluti.
• Electric Black Guy: Rolo is technically this, what with being an alien with a Jamaican accent and electric powers and all. This seems to extend to all Monae as a whole, such as Sargasso and a few of Biz's old war buddies.
• Equal-Opportunity Evil: Judging by the lineup of prominent members in the Kazkani 500, it seems that Val really values diversity in his minions. A lot of members (including Val himself) are disabled such as two unnamed goons with prominent speech impediments and the conjoined twins Razz and Pazz running a towing company he launders money through, he has lots of tough women under his employ, and Dollface, one of the members of his inner circle is an open lesbian.
• Even Evil Has Loved Ones:
  • As tyrannical and boorish as they are, there's a genuine sense of love and camaraderie among the Kazkani 500. Val's siblings and cousins are incredibly loyal thanks to him helping them out of tight spots, such as saving his conjoined twin sisters from a life as circus freaks and giving them well-paying jobs, and breaking his mother's arms so she would stop beating one of his brothers for stuttering. In return, Val is fiercely protective of them and is legitimately outraged over Hurley attacking several Kazkanis. He also dotes on his baby sister Su and praises her cooking, and seems to be a good boyfriend based on his limited interactions with his girlfriends.
  • The Blackthorn Pirates are also a tight-knit crew with a family dynamic. Their hatred for Hurley stems from him betraying them and getting them sent to the hellish Black Ice Citadel, which they view as a deeply personal betrayal.
• Everything's Better with Rainbows: Rolo's apartment is decorated with furniture and paint from every color of the rainbow. In the miserable sea of gray that is Dizmol, his love of color is a nice change of pace for Lapis.
• Fat Bastard: What little we've seen of Watermelon Tourmaline paints her as this: she's every bit as unlikable and boorish as she is rotund, which is to say very. She's also introduced chowing down on a carrot-like vegetable while casually threatening to throw innocent civilians into a Hellhole Prison for the smallest offenses and running interference for Tschermacorp.
• Fat Slob: Hurley isn't that slovenly in public, but the interior of his ship is a mess. He lives among mountains of trash and rotten food, and soaks his clothes in dirty sink water. When Lapis first enters his ship, she's overwhelmed by the awful stench, and comes dangerously close to vomiting when she steps on a rotten fruit he left laying around.
• Food as Bribe: When Lion won't help Steven and Peridot find Lapis, he changes his tune once Steven offers to feed him a few Lion Lickers.
• Freudian Excuse:
  • Razz Kazkani is incredibly rude, unpleasant, and takes a lot of glee from lording the power she has over people who get their ships towed away. Su reveals that this is due to her and her conjoined twin sister Pazz being sold off to a freakshow by their own parents as children, and a childhood of being laughed at and spat on by cruel, heartless people led to a burning hatred for pretty much everyone.
  • As revealed in the author's notes, most of the Blackthorn Pirates have something that drove them to villainy: Rafi was the equivalent to an Olympic athlete who turned bitter and violent after accidental Power Incontinence cost him his career, Leik grew up on the mean streets of a dangerous Dizmolan city as a street rat after his family fled Homeworld's colonization of his home planet, and Sargasso was once a good-natured family man before he was driven insane due to an accident involving toxic gas. Dahlia however is described as being a sadistic bitch by the author, and Hemlok was already a greedy, crooked bastard as a Prism Ranger.
• Good Counterpart:
  • Black Spinel can accurately be described as "Spinel minus her Pink Diamond-related emotional baggage", and is constantly cheeful and playful a'la Spinel's pre-Movie personality.
  • Cloud Agate is also a heroic version of Holly Blue Agate: both Gems oversee the care of organic life forms, but Cloudy genuinely cares for the well-being of her group's patients while Holly Blue views the humans at Pink Diamond's Human Zoo as beneath her. She's also far nicer than Holly Blue and genuinely polite, while the domineering Holly Blue's politeness is only a result of her kissing the collective asses of higher ranking Gems like Sapphire and the Diamonds.
• Growling Gut:
  • Lapis' stomach unleashes a big growl at the end of Chapter 6, prompting Hurley to take her out for dinner while they discuss their plans to get Lapis' ship back from the local towing company. Her stomach rumbles again in chapter 18 when she decides to enjoy some Southern hospitality by helping herself to some of the food the residents of Golden Acres made for her.
  • Rubicu's stomach rumbles after his Ruby friends save him from the arena in Chapter 12.
• Hair-Trigger Temper: It doesn't take much to set Lapis off: thanks to having been subjected to thousands of years worth of trauma, Lapis is quick to respond to any sort of inconvenience rudely at best, or violently at worst.
• Hate Sink:
  • Jowls is the most vile member of the Kazkani 500, and spends most of her screentime belittling and abusing anyone unfortunate enough to be around her: Tadd, her son, her hounds...
  • Watermelon Tourmaline is also shaping up to be this, given that her first scene establishes her as a sleazy Dirty Cop that bullies civlians and uses the deaths of Biz's war buddies as a punchline to hurt her feelings with.
• Heel–Face Turn: Hurley used to be a hired thug and member of the Blackthorn Pirates, until he found himself horrified by the lengths they took their villainy to when they burned down a village and massacred many of its inhabitants. He's long since turned over a new leaf, but refuses to forgive himself for his past actions and betrayal of his friends.
• Hell Hound: Obsidian Hounds are the apex predators of Dizmol's forests, and are described as looking like horrifying abominations that crawled out of the deepest pit of hell. Two named Scarface and Gambino are employed by Jowls as her personal attack dogs.
• Hero with Bad Publicity: Downplayed. Some of Krapton's townsfolk are overjoyed to see Lapis defeat the Kazkani 500 and destroy their casino. Others, not so much. After all, even if the Kazkanis were scum, they still ran a legitimate business that employed plenty of lawful citizens who have mouths to feed and bills to pay.
• Intelligible Unintelligible: Leik speaks in a language that seems to consist entirely of unintelligible babbling, but Thorne understands him just fine, while many of his lines are translated for the reader's benefit.
• Intergenerational Friendship:
  • While she's thousands of years older than Hurley, Lapis has the demeanor of a moody teenager/young adult while Hurley's solidly an easy-going middle aged blue collar worker. But despite some of Hurley's more annoying quirks they're fast friends at the end of the day.
  • Along with her friendship with Steven, Lapis really hits it off with the ten year old Tadd Spadeclaw when they start bonding on Elysia. She seems to be really good with kids.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold:
  • Lapis can be incredibly rude and spiteful at the slightest provocation, but is very kind to those who are civil to her in return. When she lashes out at people who have been nice to her, regret sinks in almost immediately.
  • Like in canon Peridot can be a bit abrasive and insensitive, but she's trying her best to be a better person after denouncing her ties to Homeworld, and genuinely feels bad for having hurt Lapis in the past.
  • Big Biz is rather rude to Hurley when it comes to pointing out that his obesity can lead to all kinds of health problems, but does care deeply for him and simply wants him to live a happy, healthy life. She's also quick to apologize when she's rude to Tadd when he's struggling to tell her about the disciplinary chip implanted in his neck.
• Kick the Dog: After he's done making a scene in Rolo's restaurant, Val makes a kid cry by stealing her dessert and throwing it at Hurley just to be an asshole.
• Kid Hero: Rubicu is a 10 year old superhero who leads the Prism Patrol in their operations across the galaxy.
• Large Ham: Rolo is a boisterous and flamboyant fellow, and really goes over the top when he's watching a game of Brute Ball, much to the tenant of the upstairs apartment's annoyance.
• Laughably Evil: Ambassador Ironbeak is quite a goofball, as shown by his hilariously creepy crush on his boss Tschermakite as well as the way he talks to a bikini-clad doll of her while relaxing in his hottub, which leads to him freaking out when his assistant Miss Plum walks in on him and teases him about it.
• Lecherous Licking: At one point in the fight against the Blackthorn Pirates, Rafi pins Lapis to the ground and licks her, before creepily stating that she tastes good. Thankfully, Lapis grabs and tosses him by the tongue right before he goes for another lick.
• Lightning Bruiser: One thing almost every member of the Blackthorn Pirates has in common is that they hit hard and can really book it, which leads to them giving Lapis a much harder time than the Kazkani 500 despite the latter's vastly superior numbers.
• Mook Horror Show: When Lapis fights the Kazkani 500, she's forced to fight almost all 500 members at once... and they're woefully ill-equipped to handle fighting a Gem capable of controlling oceans without breaking a sweat. The resulting brawl has Lapis crushing them with watery tendrils and hands, siccing vicious sea creature constructs on them, and bringing the roof of their headquarters down on their heads. Their boss Val gets an especially brutal beatdown: he gets launched through a wall, socked in the balls with a watery fist, and is scared so badly that he faints from stress.
• Mouth of Sauron: Ambassador Ironbeak's job is to serve as this by visiting planets Tschermacorp wants to operate on and striking deals with the local authority figures.
• My God, What Have I Done?:
  • When Lapis realizes that she called Steven an idiot in a frustration-induced rage, she's nearly driven to tears over it. Thankfully, Steven forgives her.
  • Hurley had this reaction when he realized just how many lives he ruined and people he hurt as a criminal, prompting his Heel–Face Turn before the present day.
• My Species Doth Protest Too Much: Agates are a Gem caste that are generally mean, violent disciplinarians who Yellow Diamond even says are meant to terrify. But while she can be strict about decontaminating people, Cloud Agate is otherwise polite and cordial to a fault.
• Mythology Gag:
  • When Peridot offers to share the barn with Lapis, she asks how she can say no to being "Barn Mates".
  • Hurley is based on Steven's Mr. Queasy doll, complete with horrible motion sickness.
  • Lapis runs into several creepy aliens who look suspiciously like Onion, whose odd appearance, behavior, and language led to some fans and Steven himself wondering if he could be an alien of some kind.
  • When Lapis is looking over the CD's Steven left her in Chapter 11, one of them is a Kerry Moonbeam album.
  • In order to raise money, Lapis puts on a live performance of "Haven't You Noticed I'm a Star". But since said performance is being hosted in Krapton, her performance isn't exactly well-received by the locals.
  • A dream sequence/flashback in Chapter 9 reveals that Lapis has seen Crying Breakfast Friends, and she's just as baffled by Steven's love for it as the Crystal Gems and Greg are.
  • When Lapis terrifies Val into fainting, she's menacing him with a giant water clone wielding a massive spear.
  • The opening flashback of Chapter 13 begins with Steven and Lapis singing a karaoke version of "Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart", which Lapis is also singing to herself in the present day.
  • Big Biz having shadowy-colored skin is a reference to how Bismuth first looked when she appeared briefly in Same Old World, and her eyes being black with magenta pupils are also a reference to how Bismuth appeared in the show's concept art.
  • Watermelon Tourmaline's design is closer to that of the Crystal Gem-aligned Watermelon Tourmaline as seen in Change Your Mind, before her appearance was retconned in Future.
• Never My Fault:
  • Lapis places all the blame for the Malachite situation on Jasper, despite having been the one to keep them both trapped in the fusion in the first place. It's hinted however that Lapis does harbor some guilt over it, but represses it to make it easier to cope with the trauma.
  • Tschermacorp is notorious for destroying the flora and fauna of planets it operates on, hospitalizing children with unsafe carnival rides, and bankrupting local businesses with underhanded tactics. When he's called out for it, Ambassador Ironbeak squawks that Tschermacorp is not responsible for any of that and tries to shift the blame to unspecified bad actors within the company.
• Nice Guy:
  • Steven's every bit as unfailingly kind as he is in canon, and is very supportive of Lapis' decision to leave Earth despite being sad to see her go. Greg's cut from a similar cloth with how easily he forgives Lapis for breaking his leg while encouraging her to forgive herself, showing that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
  • Hurley's the first friendly alien Lapis meets in Nova Veluti, and calling him a Nice Guy is selling him short. He offers Lapis a ride to get her ship back with no strings attached, helps her raise funds to buy it back, and puts his life on the line to protect a child slave from his abusive masters. All that paired with his easy-going nature makes him one of Lapis' closest friends, and she's grateful to have been able to have run into him so early in her journey.
  • Rolo and Su are both incredibly friendly cooks, with Rolo being charitable enough to let Hurley and Lapis crash at his place for free, and Su being the one Kazkani who's kind to Tadd, the family slave. They show that as miserable of a place a Krapton may be, not everyone is a huge jerk.
• Nightmare Sequence: Lapis has one while sleeping at Rolo's apartment. It starts as a fun memory of her hanging out with Steven in Beach City's lighthouse, only for the lighthouse to suddenly get swallowed up by an endless sea of green water. When Lapis tries to escape, she's menaced by a gigantic Malachite only to wake up in a panic before anything bad can happen.
• O.O.C. Is Serious Business: When Lapis hears the normally happy-go-lucky and clean-mouthed Hurley swear at Biz, it becomes clear in a hurry that he's in a bad place emotionally, ditto for when he calls her Lapis instead of Blue. Since it's a result of him being in a suicidal funk when the guilt for his past crimes come back to haunt him, "being in a bad place" doesn't begin to describe it.
• Papa Wolf:
  • Hurley's experiences as a father have made him incredibly protective of children in general, and when he sees a helpless Tadd Spadeclaw being zapped and kicked by Jowls, he's consumed with rage and viciously attacks her and her ensemble.
  • Lyle initially distrusts and threatens Lapis and Tadd due to thinking that they posed a threat to his daughter. Once they prove their worth however, he lightens up.
• Paradise Planet: As one would expect from a planet named after the ideal ancient Greek afterlife, Elysia is a beautiful planet with sprawling fields of golden wheat, sweeping vistas, and the local alien farmers living in perfect harmony with the environment. According to Hurley, the planet's beauty has made it the muse for many an artist over the years.
• Pet the Dog: A literal example happens in Chapter 10, where Lapis stumbles upon two Kazkani mooks petting an adorable Felit while talking about their day.
• Power Echoes: When she levels the Kazkani's hideout with a giant water clone, Lapis speaks through it in a booming voice with plenty of reverb.
• Psychic Powers: Leik has telekinesis, and can lift, freeze, and throw objects and people with his mind.
• Psycho Electro: Sargasso of the Blackthorn Pirates is a total maniac who is laughing uncontrollably when he isn't frying people with electricity.
• Punny Name: Dahlia Thorne and her gang of mercenaries are all named after plants: Hemlok/hemlock, Sargasso/sargassum, Leik/leek, Rafi/rafflesia, and Dahlia's name is an obvious nod to the poisonous flower of the same name.
• Quirky Miniboss Squad: The Blackthorn Pirates are a dangerous gang of mercenaries with a number of quirks and goofy aspects to their personality such as Sargasso's constant cackling and Leik's gibberish speech.
• Reasonable Authority Figure: As a doctor Biz is very strict when it comes to wanting the people around her to eat healthily. But she recognizes the fact that it's not easy to eat healthy thanks to the perception that all health food is bland and disgusting, so she goes out of her way to make sure Hurley can eat nutritious food that's just as delicious as the snacks and desserts he loves so much. She's also willing to let young Tadd eat a pastry as a treat for all the suffering he's endured.
• Sad Clown: Hurley projects the image of a goofy, boisterous, fatherly lunkhead, but is a sad and lonely man deep inside. Thanks to a combination of betraying his friends and ex-girlfriend to the law, losing the love of his family due to cheating on his wife and living a double life as a criminal, and being haunted by the weight of his past crimes, Hurley hates himself and has attempted suicide in the past while still having tendencies in the present.
• Seinfeldian Conversation: Handy and Gunshow randomly argue about if Earth counts as a jungle planet or an ocean planet, and eventually trail off on a tangent criticizing the Diamond Authority for abandoning it despite having supposedly killed all the Crystal Gems. According to Rubicu, these kinds of conversations are a frequent occurrence.
• Serious Business: Brute Ball is this to Rolo, who gets uncharacteristically hateful and angry when his home planet's team plays poorly and smugly satisfied when they score a goal.
• Shell-Shocked Veteran: Big Biz was deeply traumatized by the Homeworld/Nova Veluti war, and her wartime trauma plays a part in her obsession with forcing Hurley to eat healthy: she's seen countless organic aliens die in their prime and doesn't want any health complications to prevent him from living a long and fulfilling life. She also keeps the shards of enemy Gems she's shattered as makeshift jewelry, viewing these grim trophies as a twisted tribute to the friends they killed.
• Shout-Out:
  • When Lapis takes Steven to Empire City to discuss her plans for the future, the fountain show they watch is a reference to Las Vegas' Bellagio Fountains.
  • Judging by the CD's Greg burned for Lapis, he loves classic rock and ska. Among the bands listed are Pink Floyd, Reel Big Fish, Guns N' Roses, The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and Blue Oyster Cult.
  • After leaving Earth, the narration from Steven's POV describes Lapis as boldly going where no man has gone before.
  • The Prism Patrol are an obvious Expy of the Green Lantern Corps. They're an intergalactic police force with members hailing from all manner of different species, wield hard light constructs projected from a special trinket, and activate said trinket with a Badass Creed.
  • Val's personality and mannerisms are based on those of Biff Tannen, complete with him calling people buttheads and quoting his "Think McFly, think!" routine almost word for word.
  • The nicknames and bizarre appearances of Val and his inner circle are meant to be evocative of the various weird-looking mobsters and Nazi spies Dick Tracy fights. One of them even has Mumbles' verbal tic.
  • When Lapis confronts Val, he channels a certain Clown Prince of Crime by saying that when it comes to avenging his injured relatives, it's not about money, but that it's about sending a message.
  • In Chapter 13, Hurley plays a song for Lapis. Specifically, Everything Stays, performed by a Gem version of Rebecca Sugar herself.
  • In the author's notes for Chapter 17, Watermelon Tourmaline is said to be an Expy of Dodoria, with her rotund physique, spiked body, callousness, and even hypothetical voice actor are a dead ringer for Frieza's most unpleasant servant.
• Starter Villain: Val Kazkani and the Kazkani 500 are the first villains Lapis fights on her journey. Fittingly, they're not too tough and fold like paper when faced with the might of her hydrokinesis.
• Stout Strength: Hurley is incredibly thick around the middle, but it doesn't stop him from being brutally strong. When he gets into a brawl with several Kazkani mobsters, he spends most of the fight effortlessly tossing them around and punching their lights out before he's incapacitated, with several Kazkanis being hospitalized in the aftermath while top enforcer Jowls walks away with a broken arm.
• Supreme Chef: Hurley's friend Rolo used to be a royal chef on his home planet, and even when circumstances force him to operate out of Krapton, his cooking hasn't taken a hit in quality at all. The food he makes is so delicious that Lapis stuffs herself on it to the point of slipping into a food coma.
• Take That!:
  • During one of Lapis' flashbacks, she's immediately disgusted by the immature humor and ugly art in a commercial for a show called Lightningdogs Howl, which is a blatant reference to frequent criticisms of the infamously controversial Thundercats Roar.
  • Another has Greg taking a potshot at Ted Nugent, who he refers to as "a good musician, but a really crummy guy."
  • Chapter 15 delivers a scathing one towards Steven Universe: Future, which the author makes no bones about hating. In the beginning of the chapter, Lapis and Tadd are watching an obvious Expy of the show and Tadd takes time to loudly denounce it for being a joyless, needlessly edgy slog that ruined the fun adventures of the past, turned the main character into an unsympathetic murderous grump while dumbing down his friends and family, and did the stigma of PTSD victims being unstable lunatics no favors. And to top it off, there's also an obvious dig at the Diamond Authority's redemption, which was controversial among the fandom due to the sheer scale of the atrocities they committed.
• Token Good Teammate: Su Kazkani is one of the only members of Val's immediate family who isn't involved in organized crime: while she works for him, it's purely as a chef and she doesn't partake in any illegal activities. She's also one of the only Kazkanis who is nice to Tadd, the family slave.
• Tragic Monster: The Corrupted Ruby, much like the Corrupted Gems back on Earth, wasn't always a monster, but a Gem robbed of its humanity. During its fight against Lapis it screams for help and bashes its head against buildings and the ground, and comes off as a miserable wreck when it isn't fueled by murderous fury. Centipeetle also appears in a flashback, where Lapis sees her emotional meltdown from Monster Reunion that results from her recalling what transformed her into a monster.
• Unintentionally Unsympathetic: Discussed In-Universe by Lapis and Tadd while they're watching a show called "Strawburri of the Stars." The titular Strawburri is going through a horrible mental breakdown and the audience is supposed to feel sorry for him... despite him constantly refusing help from his friends and family and then blaming them for his problems. This is one of the many reasons why Tadd hates that show with a burning passion.
• Vice City: Krapton is a Dizmolan port town ruled by a tyrannical mafia family, and is full of downright miserable people. It's also home to a casino that also serves as an eatery and even a strip club, with a special stage dedicated to public executions of the Kazkani family's enemies.
• Well-Intentioned Extremist: While he's an ass about it, Ambassador Ironbeak genuinely does believe that he's doing people a favor by forcing them to welcome Tschermacorp into their lives, and genuinely cannot fathom why they take issue with the company's shady methods.
• What the Hell, Hero?:
  • Hurley firmly, but gently calls Lapis out for giving up on trying to raise money to get her ship back the second she ran into a few snags.
  • Rolo is a lot meaner when getting on Lapis' case, but since he does so when Lapis is more concerned with losing her ship when Hurley's in danger of being killed by the Kazkanis, it's not exactly unjustified.
• Wham Episode: Chapter 16 doesn't seem special since it's a standard fight scene between Lapis, Biz, Hurley, and Tadd against the Blackthorne Pirates... until they release their secret weapon, which is a corrupted Ruby.
• You Are Better Than You Think You Are: Biz and Lapis make it clear to Hurley that he is not the boorish thug he once was and is a much better man in the present. Hurley doesn't quite believe this to be true, but appreciates their kindness all the same.

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