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Music: Ted Nugent
Everyone's Favorite Uncle
"Hey, what's up? If any of you don't got a gun, a knife, handkerchief, and a Chap-Stick, get the (guitar riff) outta here!"
Ted Nugent, from the Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode "Gee Whiz"

Describe Ted Nugent here.

Bet you can't, can you?

No, you can't. Seriously, you cannot grasp the true power of the Nuge. But it is this Wiki's job to take a stab at grasping the power of everyone who has ever had an iota of relevancy to popular culture, so here goes:

Theodore Anthony Nugent is a rock guitarist and vocalist from Detroit, Michigan who has sold over 14 million albums in the United States and 31 million worldwide. His best known song is "Cat Scratch Fever." Nugent has been touring annually since 1967, and chances are it will take death to stop him.

He was first in a band called the Amboy Dukes, which had a hit with "Journey to the Center of the Mind", before starting a successful solo career. In the 1970s, he recorded three multi-platinum albums: Ted Nugent, Free-For-All, and Cat Scratch Fever. He later joined the supergroup Damn Yankees before going solo again.

When not making music, Nugent speaks on behalf of politically right-of-center causes, the Republican Party, and the United States military (though he has admitted to actively dodging the draft during Vietnam). He supports hunting, responsible care of natural resources, America, hunting, unrestricted gun ownership, hunting, anti-drug activism, hunting, the classic tough-guy mentality, old-time religion, hunting, a straight-edge lifestyle, and did we mention hunting? He also has what some would call a traditional view of gender roles.

Ted Nugent's persona and career provide examples of:

  • The Cameo:
    • Made one on Aqua Teen Hunger Force, where he shot Carl with what turned out to be an exploding arrow.
    • Also two on The Simpsons. The first was in the episode "I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings", where a convict (voiced by Steve Buscemi) obsessed with Marge is waiting for her to call him on the prison phone. When he gets the call, it's the Nuge on the other side, asking for the passing of a pro-firearm amendment. The second was in the episode "Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson", where the Nuge asks Homer, in his stint hosting a conservative political show, to endorse him in his bid for the 2012 Republican Presidential nomination.
    • He also appeared as himself in the That 70s Show episode "Backstage Pass", despite the fact that it sets in the late '70s, but was filmed in 2001.
    • Was set to appear in an episode of Undeclared, playing himself giving a political speech on campus. They ultimately decided not to introduce his politics on the show and re-wrote him out of the episode. The original cut with him can be found on the DVD.
    • Shows up for part of an episode of Sons of Guns leaving a trail of awesome in his wake.
    • Penn & Teller brought up PETA with him for the episode on the Animal Wrongs Group. He begins with getting a deer to tell PETA to blow him and it goes uphill from there.
  • Epic Rocking: "Stranglehold" is the best-known example.
  • Getting Crap Past the Radar: Thanks to "Cat Scratch Fever"'s enduring popularity on classic rock radio. Not many stations censor the line "I make the pussy purr with the touch of my hand".
  • Intercourse with You: About 90% of his catalogue.
  • Irony: Some of his songs have been defined as Stoner Rock and Psychedelic Rock, yet he's nothing if not dedicated to being anti-drug.
  • Jerkass: He comes across as this to many liberal Americans. It does not exactly help Ted's case that to this day he brags about stops on a 2007 cross-country tour on which he threatened to shoot a few prominent Democrats, namely Senators Barack Obama, Hillary Rodham Clinton and Dianne Feinstein. In Illinois, New York and California (the states they respectively represented at the time), no less.
  • Lolicon: Jailbait is a song combining lolicon, Police Brutality, Police Are Useless, and rape, and celebrating enjoying it all. Nugent has also done it in Real Life.
  • The Man Behind the Man: The Nuge rarely sings lead himself, usually leaving that role to his rhythm guitarist Derek St. Holmes.
  • Manly Men Can Hunt: Is one, and does it all the time.
  • Nice Hat
  • Nobody Poops: Averted, with Too Much Information about liking to defecate in his pants onstage.
  • Rated M for Manly
  • Real Men Eat Meat: Is one, and does it all the time.
  • Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll: Played straight and averted with the Nuge. He is known for his anti-drug and anti-alcohol stances, and claims that he hasn't drank since he was a youngster and his father scolded him for coming home smelling of alcohol one night. On the other hand, his womanizing is well-known and even after getting married has often failed to resist the lure of groupies.
  • Take That: Ted has an entire song called "Kiss My Ass" that serves as one of these to the Clintons, animal rights activists, the sponsors of the Brady Bill, and various other people and things from The Nineties that he doesn't particularly care for/thinks are stupid.
  • Title Only Chorus: "Cat Scratch Fever" and "Wango Tango".
  • Underestimating Badassery: In 2000 an animal rights activist threatened and then physically assaulted Ted Nugent. Nugent easily subdued the guy and held him in an armlock until police arrived.
  • Unusual Euphemism: "Sure do like to Boogie, sure do like to Rock. But when it's time to Wango Tango i'll do the flying lip lock."

Night RangerRockYoko Ono
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