Pretty much the whole movie. It's a 70-minute Looney Tunes style comedy routine run by and written for
- The beginning starts out with a llama out in the cold rain. Cue a funny cute "We-be-be-be" from his mouth.
Kuzco: Okay, I admit it. Maybe I wasn't as nice as I should have been. But Yzma, you really wanna kill me?!
: I know.
It's called a "cruel irony". Like my dependence on you
- Basically, Yzma responds to Kronk explaining a joke with an even funnier joke!
- The Lampshade Hanging of Yzma's and Kronk's Offscreen Teleportation:
Kuzco: No! It can't be! How did you get back here before us?
Yzma: Uh...um...How did we, Kronk?
- Speaking of the diagram, during the chase scene, Yzma and Kronk see the red line marking Kuzco and Pacha's path on the map, as well as the blue line of their own path trailing right behind them, and are both utterly dumbfounded, but they just decide to ignore it.
- Also, later in the movie...
- This is arguably the most quotable line in the movie, as anyone going to an amusement park can have a lot of fun saying this line while on a ride, as demonstrated here.
: Uh-oh. Kuzco
: (completely deadpan, facing the other way) Don't tell me: we're about to go over a huge waterfall
: (also completely deadpan
) Yep. Kuzco
: Sharp rocks at the bottom? Pacha
: Most likely. Kuzco
) Bring it on
- The subversion of the Disney Villain Death:
Guard: For the last time, we did not order a giant trampoline!
Merchant: You know, pal, you coulda told me that before I set it up!
- Yzma decides it's time for Kuzco and Pacha to die horribly. They misinterpret it as something worse:
Yzma: ...I bet you weren't expecting this!
[hikes up her skirt]
Kuzco: Ackk! Nooo!
Yzma: Ah-HA! [reveals a thigh sheath and pulls out a vicious-looking dagger]
Kuzco: Oh, okay.
- Yzma then tosses the weapon to Kronk:
Shoulder Devil: Hey, you're not backing down now are ya, big guy? *Appears*
Kronk: Uh...Where's the other guy? *Shoulder Angel appears, sitting under a hairdryer, and reading a book* Yo!
Shoulder Angel: Sorry I'm late. What'd I miss?
Kronk: Well, Yzma just tossed me this knife, and asked me to, y'know, take them out, and then this guy popped up, and we waited for you, and quite honestly...
- Leading to Yzma's Breaking Speech
Yzma: Kronk! Why did I think you could do this? This one, simple thing... It's like I'm talking to a monkey!
Kronk's Shoulder Angel: Whoa, now.
Kronk's Shoulder Devil: Ouch.
- Followed immediately by:
Shoulder Angel: Now now, remember guys, "from above, the wicked shall receive their just reward."
They all look up, see a chandelier
All three of them: That'll work.
(Kronk slices the rope holding up the chandelier, which crashes down around Yzma. She is untouched; her body was so skinny it passed right through a gap.)
Yzma: And so does THIS!
(She pulls a lever and a trap door opens under Kronk)
Kronk: Oh, I shoulda seen that one coming... WHOA!!....
(He falls, followed a moment later by the angel and devil, who hug each other for safety)
- Earlier, the conversation when Kronk has second thoughts about killing Kuzco.
Shoulder Angel: Oh come off it!
Shoulder Devil: You
come off it!
Devil: You infinity.
Angel: (frustrated) Rrrgh!
(to Kronk) Alright, listen up big guy, I've got three good reasons why you should just walk away. Reason #1...(points to the Shoulder Angel) look at that guy, he's got that sissy stringy music thingy
Angel: We've been through this, it's a harp, and you know it.
Devil: Right, that's a harp...and that's a dress.
Devil: Reason #2...look what I can do. (does a one-handed handstand) Ha-hah!
Kronk (actually acting relatively smart for once): But...what does that have to do with anyth-...?
Angel: (straight-faced) No no, he's got a point.
- Also a classic, Yzma's plan on how to get rid of Kuzco:
Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I'll turn him into a flea, a harmless little flea, and then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another
box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives...[laughs] ...I'll SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!
It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant
, I tell you! Genius, I say! [knocks over bottle of poison on flower, which instantly shrivels up and dies
] Or, to save on postage, I'll just poison him with this!
- "ONE TWO THREE FOUR— HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FROM ALL OF US TO YOU! WE WISH IT WAS OUR BIRTHDAY, SO WE COULD PARTY TOO!"
- Also notice how many candles they put on Yzma's cake during that scene.
- "Ha ha ha! It's your birthday?!"
- Kronk makes his own background music. Even more funny when he leans onto a wall to not be seen, but keeps singing, thus defeating the point of leaning in the first place.
- A wall covered with carvings of giant stone figures pointing down at him, no less.
- Also led to a Real Life moment, when the Disney lawyers required Kronk's voice-actor Patrick Warburton to officially sign over the rights to the tune he improvised while recording the scene.
- This exchange:
Yzma: Tell us where the talking llama is and we'll burn your house to the ground.
Kronk: Don't you mean 'or'?
Yzma: UGH! Fine. Tell us where the talking llama is or we'll burn your house to the ground.
Chaca: Well, which is it? That seems like a pretty crucial conjunction!
- In the same scene, Kronk refuses to break down the door to the closet they're trapped in because of it being "hand carved mahogany".
- The fact that Kronk doesn't seem to understand why they're there in the first place.
Kronk: Well, I had a great time. Let's not wait until the next family reunion to get together, okay?
- The scene when a startled Chicha whacks Kuzco with her frying pan. To be fair, she had been wanting to do that since the beginning.
Kuzco: Hey there! (CLANG!)
Pacha: (cringing) That was him.
Chicha: (mildly) Oops.
- And Kuzco's reaction afterwards: "You have a lovely wife! Both very pretty!"
- Kuzco's monologue just after the bridge rescue scene:
Woo-oo-yeah! Look at me and mah bad self! I snatched you right out of the air! "Oooh, I'm a crumbly canyon wall and I'm taking you with me." Well, not today pal! A-huh! [little llama strut] A-huh a-huh a-huh!
- Or when the soldiers have been turned into various animals:
Yzma: Get them!
Random Soldier: Um, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home?
Yzma [completely calm and polite]: You're excused. Anyone else?
Soldiers: No, no, we're good.
- This may lead to a rather awkward case of Fridge Brilliance, considering that cows are female. Can you blame the guy for leaving early?
- And when the soldiers attempt to follow Kuzco and Pacha, who are now dangling out of the nostril of Kuzco's sculpted head on his palace.
Yzma: There they go, after them!
Lead soldier: C'mon men! Nobody lives forever!
*they jump down the funnel and end up sliding out of it and falling to their (offscreen) deaths*
- Kronk: (Bolting awake) "THE PEASANT! At the diner! (beat) He didn't pay his check." (All this said utterly deadpan to Kronk's teddy bear, which wears the same sleep gear as he.)
Yzma: This had better be good! (cucumber slices fall out of eyes)
- Bucky the squirrel's expression as he threatens to wake up the jaguar pack by popping a balloon llama.
- What does wake up the jaguar pack, though, is Kuzco's triumphant "HAH!" when he realizes the pop didn't wake them up.
- The diner scene with Kuzco dressed as a woman, especially the moment when another diner patron gives Pacha a leering thumb's-up.
- The two of them acting like lovestruck newlyweds is extremely funny.
Kuzco: Oh, whatever you say, pumpkin. You know what I like.
Pacha: We're on our honeymoon.
- One dub completely drops the ambiguity and has the waitress congratulate them for "coming out of the closet."
- This exchange after Pacha rescues Kuzco from a horde of hungry jaguars...and ends up with the two tied to opposite sides of a tree trunk:
Kuzco: Maybe I'm new to this whole rescuing thing, but this, to me, might be considered a step backward. Wouldn't you say?
Pacha: No no, it's all right, we can figure this out!
(tree cracks, about to fall)
Kuzco: I hate you.
- Kronk finding another bird for "Exotic Bird Bingo" while Yzma runs back and forth in the background being chased by bees that came literally out of nowhere.
- What makes this scene even better is if you notice what shapes the bees take while chasing Yzma. They include an arrow, a tornado and a shark.
- And there's still one small detail very easy to miss during that very scene: when the bee swarm appears in the background as a shark, Yzma uses a stick to ward it off. A few seconds later, she reappears holding a cartoonish bug sprayer!
- While Kronk is recording the bird, it tweets. By actually saying "tweet" in an incredibly flat and bored-sounding voice.
- Pacha trying to give Kuzco CPR after the latter almost drowns and Kuzco coming to in time only to think that it's a kiss.
Pacha: For the last time, it was not a kiss!
Kuzco: Well, whatever you call it, it was disgusting! And if you'd done what I ordered you to do in the first place, we all could have been spared your little kiss of life.
- And beware the pop-out llama tongue.
- Lampshaded by a cutaway to Pacha's children later in the film:
Chaca: Well in my dream, Dad had to kiss a llama!
Tipo: Yeah, like that would ever happen!
Chaca: It could!
Chicha: Goodnight, kids.
Kids: Night, Mom! Nu-uh! Ya-huh! Nu-uh! Ya-huh!..
- The short-lived Running Gag of Kuzco constantly putting out the campfire that Pacha's TRYING to start. Spitting on it, shaking the water off his fur, and even tossing Pacha's poncho onto it.
- At the start when Kuzco bumps into an old man whilst dancing:
Kuzco: D'oh! You threw off my groove!
Guard: I'm sorry, but you've thrown off the Emperor's groove. *picks up old man*
(Cut to the exterior of the palace.)
Old Man: SOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYyyyyy!
- And then later, Pacha finds him stuck in a banner, he has this to say:
Pacha: What happened!?
Old Man: I... I threw off the Emperor's groove, the rhythm at which he lives his life! His pattern of behavior! I threw it off and the Emperor had me thrown out the window!
Pacha: (Momentarily shocked) Oh... Really? Well... I'm supposed to see him tod-
Old Man: (Leaps up and shakes him by the collar) DON'T THROW OFF HIS GROOVE!
Old Man: (Walks away ominously) Bewaaare the grooove!
Pacha: Hey, are you gonna be alright?
Old Man: Grooooove!!! (leaves)
- Kuzco's narration of Pacha after this part: "You see what I mean, right? This guy is trouble."
- In the Norwegian dub, they took this line a step further and had Kuzco say "You see what I mean? This guy is pure evil!"
- Kuzco is pushing Pacha up a cliff:
Kuzco: Y'know, it's a good thing you're not a big fat guy or this would be really difficult!
- The scene immediately following the 'how to get up the cliff' brainstorming scene, where, after reaching up to grab a dangling branch, Pacha gets a bunch of scorpions running down his arm, leading to Kuzco's face eventually landing in a tiny cave on the side of the cliff, causing a swarm of bats to wake up and fly into his mouth. It loses all of its comedy value being explained, but it more than deserves its place on this page.
- This little exchange:
Yzma: A llama?!? He's supposed to be dead!"
Kronk: Yeah. Weird...
- The following between Tipo and Yzma:
Tipo: (to Yzma) I don't believe you're really my great-aunt. You're more like my great-great-great-
(cut to another scene, then later back to Tipo and Yzma)
Yzma: Grr! All right! Are you through?
Tipo: ...great-great aunt.
- Add to the fact that he says exactly 23 'great' in that span of time.
- During all that, did anyone keep track of who was handling the jump rope...?
- As Kronk is jump-roping with the kids, Yzma jumps in to whisper some instructions to him... while also jumping rope and paddy-caking with him.
- "So all of it was a lie?!" "Well, yeah! No, wait...Uh, yeah. Yeah, it all was a lie. Toodles!"
- Kitten Yzma doing an Evil Laugh, saying "I win" and getting slammed into the wall by Kronk opening a door on her and saying "Whoa! What are the odds of that trap door leading me out here?"
- Kuzco sing-songing "Still not listening!" to Pacha after Pacha warns him not to go into the forest.
- "Oh it's a scary tree! I'm afraid!"
- This dialogue:
Yzma: Yes! That poison.
Kronk: Gotcha covered.
Yzma: Excellent! A few drops in his drink, and he'll be dead before dessert!
- And then, after it turns him into a llama instead, Yzma orders him to take him out of the city and kill him.
Kronk: What about dinner?
Yzma: Kronk. This is kind of important.
Kronk: What about dessert?
Yzma: (seems about to snap, and then reconsiders) Well, I suppose there's time for dessert.
Kronk: (excitedly) And coffee?
Yzma: ...All right, a quick cup of coffee. THEN TAKE HIM OUT OF TOWN AND FINISH THE JOB!
- The very subtle Funny Background Event during Kuzco's transformation sequence, where we cut to a couple of wide shots of Yzma's dumbfounded reaction. Right next to her, we see the cactus where she tosses her drink (also containing the supposed poison)—and it's now shaped like a llama head and neck.
- Describing Yzma as "Scary beyond all reason".
Kuzco: Hold on, was this woman scary beyond all reason?
Pacha: Oh yeah!
Kuzco: That's Yzma and Kronk!
- Later, when the two old guys tell Pacha that his "relatives" are at his house:
Pacha: ...What did they look like?
Geezer #2: Well, y'see, there was this big guy...and this older woman—who was, uh...how would you describe her?
Geezer #1: Eh, scary beyond all reason.
Geezer #2: Yeah—that's it!
- After "The Thing That Wouldn't Shut Up" tells Kuzco to select a bride from the beautiful women of the village (who, but for the hair style all look the same).
Kuzco: Let's have a look-see... hate your hair, not likely, yikes, yikes, yikes, and let me guess; you have a great personality. (turns away, revealing two of the girls holding a third, furiously threatening girl, back.)
- It should be noted that the upper part of the dress the women with the great personality was wearing was partly see through from half of her chest up. You couldn't see anything in the second scene but the implication is there.
- A lot of great moments with Kuzco narrating, too.
Kuzco-as-Narrator: This (picture of him on throne), not this (sad llama in the rain), this (throne), not this (rain), winner (emperor), loser (llama).
- After being told that his entire village is about to be destroyed at a moment's notice, Pacha (unaware that he has llama!Kuzco on the back of his cart) goes home and has a quiet moment by himself in his backyard. Then the movie literally grinds to a screeching halt while Kuzco comes out and proceeds to draw on the fourth wall!
: (in the stopped film) Hey—excuse me. Sorry for the interruption, but—I'm the one in the bag, remember? (Circles bag with a red marker)This movie is about me
(crosses Pacha out, caps marker).
- He then continues to scribble out Pacha before the film starts back up again.
- Chicha is so pregnant it takes her a minute to pick up a cup off the floor when Yzma knocks it off the table.
- After the kids beg to stay up past their bedtime,
Pacha: Of course! Yeah, Mommy and I are just going to be staying up telling each other how much we love each other... Right, honey?
Tipo & Chaca: Eww! Good night!
- The entire scene when Yzma first thinks up her evil scheme. From her smashing busts of Kuzco to this:
Kronk: So, how does that work with you being fired and all?
Yzma: The only people who know about that are the three of us, soon to be the two of us!
Kronk: And I'm one of those two, right?
- Kuzco saying that Yzma is living proof dinosaurs once walked the Earth.
- The Italian description of Yzma is 'la nonna brutta di Dracula', Dracula's Ugly Grandmother.
- After Pacha tells Kuzco that he won't take him back unless he changes his mind, Kuzco walks a foot away and throws a rock at him, then denies he did it, in what may be David Spade's funniest acting ever:
"Ididntdoit....Ididn't.... (eyes dart around) Somebody's throwin' stuff. You gonna build a fire or what?"
- This exchange, but mostly for the facial expression Kuzco makes at the end of it:
Pacha: How can you be this way? All you care about is building your summer home and filling it with stuff for you!
Kuzco: Uh, yeah. Doy. Me. Everyone else in the kingdom gets it. You're the only one that doesn't seem to be with the program, eh, Pacha?!
- During Kuzco's "funeral":
Yzma: And so, it is with great sadness that we mourn the sudden departure of our beloved prince...
Yzma: Taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his 18th birthday.
Kronk: Poor little guy.
Yzma: His legacy will live on in our hearts...
Kronk: He never had a chance.
Yzma: ...for all eternity. (Beat) Well, he ain't gettin' any deader! (rips off black cloak to reveal a hot pink horror extravaganza of an outfit) Back to work. (the attendees quickly toss their candles away and get to renovating the palace)
- This conversation afterward, when Kronk says Kuzco couldn't be any more dead than he is, unless they killed him again.
Kronk... Kuzco is
dead, right? Tell me Kuzco's dead. I need to hear these words. Kronk:
] Uh, do you need to hear all those words exactly? Yzma:
He's STILL ALIVE?! Kronk:
Well... he's not as dead as we would've hoped... Yzma:
[face turning red
] Kroooooonk... Kronk:
Just thought I'd give you a heads-up, in case Kuzco ever came back. Yzma:
He can't come back! Kronk:
Yeah, that would be kinda awkward. Especially after that lovely eulogy. Yzma:
YA THINK?! You and I are going out to find him! If he talks, we're through! Now, let's MOVE!
- The argument on the bridge.
Pacha: (quickly punches Kuzco) That's for going back on your promise!
Kuzco: (kicks Pacha away) Yeah! That's for kidnapping me and taking me to your village, which I'm still gonna destroy, by the way. Ah ha ha...no touchy. (Pacha slams him into the cliffside)
Pacha: Why should I risk my life for a selfish brat like you?! I was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but ooh, you proved me wrong!
Kuzco: Oh, boo hoo. Now I feel really bad. Bad llama.
Pacha: I could've let you die out there in that jungle, and then all my problems would be over!
Kuzco: Well, that makes you ugly and stupid.
Pacha: Let's end this.
Kuzco: Ladies first.
- When Kronk saves Kuzco from falling down the waterfall, and the camera zooms out a little too far in showing the height of the waterfall, to the point where it's really far away and focusing on something unrelated to the story.
Kuzco: (narrating) Uh... what's with the chimp and the bug? Can we get back to me?? (camera quickly zooms back in)
- After several poor potion choices, Kuzco demands Pacha let him pick the next one. He gets whale.
Whale!Kuzco: Don't you say a word...
- While fighting on the exterior of the palace, one of the potions gets smashed over Yzma. The potion's mist spreads, there's a deep Evil Laugh and evil eyes appear on-screen, only to abruptly turn into a cat's face. A small cat: Yzma became a kitten thanks to the potion. The timing on the transition is just perfect.
- And then they delay her next spoken line, which makes it all the funnier when she turns out to have a squeak like a reject Chipmunk.
: [holding the Human potion with evil relish
] Looking for this? [blink
] Is that my voice? Is that MY voice? [Shrug Take
] Oh well. [back to the villainy
- Four words: "Cheese me no likie."
- The opening song shows off just how ridiculously spoiled Kuzco is. Among other things, a ship is brought to the palace so he can christen it without needing to leave his throne, and a team of stone masons hang around the palace and build huge, decorated doorways for him within seconds.
- Yzma filling in the role of emperor near the beginning of the film, addressing a villager.
Yzma: It is no concern of mine whether your family has... what was it again?
Villager: Um... food?
Yzma: HAH! You really should have thought of that before you became peasants!
- Kitten Yzma at the end. "...Squeaken."
- Background information - the artists created Yzma and then admitted to Eartha Kitt that the character was based on her. She loved the design.