Speaking of the diagram, during the chase scene, Yzma and Kronk see the red line marking Kuzco and Pacha's path on the map, as well as the blue line of their own path trailing right behind them, and are both utterly dumbfounded, but they just decide to ignore it.
Guard: For the last time, we did not order a giant trampoline! Merchant: You know, pal, you coulda told me that before I set it up!
Yzma has just tossed Kronk a knife:
Shoulder Devil: Hey, you're not backing down now are ya, big guy? *Appears*
Kronk: Uh...Where's the other guy? *Shoulder Angel appears, doing his hair, and reading a book* Yo!
Shoulder Angel: Sorry I'm late. What'd I miss?
Kronk: Well, Yzma just tossed me this knife, and asked me to, y'know, take them out, and then this guy popped up, and we waited for you, and quite honestly...
*All the while Kronk's been talking (and making various gestures), for Yzma, Pacha, and Kuzco it looks like he's talking to thin air. Yzma points in disbelief, while the other two shrug with bewildered expressions on their faces.*
(He falls, followed a moment later by the angel and devil, who hug each other}
Earlier, the conversation when Kronk has second thoughts about killing Kuzco.
Shoulder Angel: Oh come off it!
Shoulder Devil: You come off it!
Devil: You infinity.
Angel: (frustrated) Rrrgh!
Devil: (to Kronk) Alright, listen up big guy, I've got three good reasons why you should just walk away. Reason #1...(points to the Shoulder Angel) look at that guy, he's got that sissy stringy music thingy.
Angel: We've been through this, it's a harp, and you know it.
Devil: Right, that's a harp...and that's a dress.
Devil: Reason #2...look what I can do. (does a one-handed handstand) Ha-hah!
Kronk (actually acting relatively smart for once): But...what does that have to do with anyth-...?
Also a classic, Yzma's plan on how to get rid of Kuzco:
Yzma: Ah, how shall I do it? Oh, I know. I'll turn him into a flea, a harmless little flea, and then I'll put that flea in a box, and then I'll put that box inside of another box, and then I'll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives...[laughs] ...I'll SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER! It's brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, I tell you! Genius, I say! [knocks over bottle of poison on flower, which instantly shrivels up and dies] Or, to save on postage, I'll just poison him with this!
And right after, when she hands the poison over to Kronk:
Kuzco's monologue just after the bridge rescue scene:
Woo-oo-yeah! Look at me and mah bad self! I snatched you right out of the air! "Oooh, I'm a crumbly canyon wall and I'm taking you with me." Well, not today pal! A-huh! [little llama strut] A-huh a-huh a-huh!
"Yay, I'm a llama again! ...wait."
Or when the soldiers have been turned into various animals:
Yzma: Get them!
Random Soldier: Um, I've been turned into a cow. Can I go home?
The scene immediately following the 'how to get up the cliff' brainstorming scene, where, after reaching up to grab a dangling branch, Pacha gets a bunch of scorpions running down his arm, leading to Kuzco's face eventually landing in a tiny cave on the side of the cliff, causing a swarm of bats to wake up and fly into his mouth. It loses all of its comedy value being explained, but it more than deserves its place on this page.
This little exchange:
Yzma: A llama?!? He's supposed to be dead!"
Kronk: Yeah. Weird...
Yzma: Then I bet you weren't expecting this!
[hikes up her skirt]
Kuzco ACK! NOOOO!
Yzma: Ah-HA! [pulls out a vicious-looking dagger]
Kuzco: Oh, Okay.
The following between Tipo and Yzma:
Tipo:(to Yzma) I don't believe you're really my great-aunt. You're more like my great-great-great-
(cut to another scene, then later back to Tipo and Yzma)
Kuzco sing-songing "Still not listening!" to Pacha after Pacha warns him not to go into the forest.
Kronk: Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco. The poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco. Kuzco's poison...That p–?
Yzma: Yes! That poison.
Kronk: Gotcha covered.
Yzma: Excellent! A few drops in his drink, and he'll be dead before dessert!
Kronk: Which is a real shame, cuz it's gonna be delicious!
Describing Yzma as "Scary beyond all reason".
Kuzco: Hold on, was this woman scary beyond all reason?
Pacha: Oh yeah!
Kuzco: That's Yzma and Kronk!
After "The Thing That Wouldn't Shut Up" tells Kuzco to select a bride from the beautiful women of the village (who, but for the hair style all look the same).
Kuzco: Let's have a look-see . . . hate your hair, not likely, yikes, yikes, yikes, and let me guess; you have a great personality. (turns away, revealing two of the girls holding a third, furiously threatening girl, back.)
It should be noted that the upper part of the dress the women with the great personality was wearing was partly see through from half of her chest up. You couldn't see anything in the second scene but the implication is there.
A lot of great moments with Kuzco narrating, too.
Kuzco-as-Narrator: This (picture of him on throne), not this (sad llama in the rain), this (throne), not this (rain), winner (emperor), loser (llama).
The movie stops after Pacha's sad little angst moment in his home, after coming home after being told that it's going to be destroyed. Unknown to him, he's been carting along a bag containing the newly llama'd Kuzco in it.
Kuzco: (in the stopped film) Hey, sorry for the interruption, but I just wanted to remind you guys that this movie is about me (circles bag with a red marker), not him (crosses Pacha out, caps marker).
Chicha is so pregnant it takes her a minute to pick up a cup off the floor when Yzma knocks it off the table.
The entire scene when Yzma first thinks up her evil scheme. From her smashing busts of Kuzco to this,
Kronk: So, how does that work with you being fired and all?
Yzma: The only people who know about that are the three of us, soon to be the two of us!
Kronk: And I'm one of those two, right?
Kuzco saying that Yzma is living proof dinosaurs once walked the Earth.
After Pacha tells Kuzco that he won't take him back unless he changes his mind, Kuzco walks a foot away and throws a rock at him, then denies he did it.
Kuzco: I didn't...somebody's throwing stuff. You gonna build a fire or what?
This exchange, but mostly for the facial expression Kuzco makes at the end of it:
Pacha: How can you be this way? All you care about is building your summer home and filling it with stuff for you! Kuzco: Uh, yeah. Doy. Me. Everyone else in the kingdom gets it. You're the only one that doesn't seem to be with the program, eh, Pacha?!
The italian description of Yzma, 'la nonna brutta di Dracula', Dracula's Ugly Grandmother.
During Kuzco's "funeral":
Yzma: And so, it is with great sadness that we mourn the sudden departure of our beloved prince...
Yzma: Taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his 18th birthday.
Kronk: Poor little guy.
Yzma: His legacy will live on in our hearts...
Kronk: He never had a chance.
Yzma: ...for all eternity. (Beat)Well, he ain't gettin' any deader!(rips off black cloak to reveal a hot pink horror extravaganza of an outfit) Back to work. (the attendees quickly toss their candles away and get to renovating the palace)
The argument on the bridge.
Pacha: (quickly punches Kuzco) That's for going back on your promise!
Kuzco: (kicks Pacha away) Yeah! That's for kidnapping me and taking me to your village, which I'm still gonna destroy, by the way. Ah ha ha...no touchy.(Pacha slams him into the cliffside)
Pacha: Why should I risk my life for a selfish brat like you?! I was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but ooh, you proved me wrong!
Pacha: I could've let you die out there in that jungle, and then all my problems would be over!
Kuzco: Well, that makes you ugly and stupid.
Pacha: Let's end this.
Kuzco: Ladies first.
When Kronk saves Kuzco from falling down the waterfall, and the camera zooms out a little too far in showing the height of the waterfall, to the point where it's really far away and focusing on something unrelated to the story.
Kuzco: (narrating) Uh...what's with the chimp and the bug? Can we get back to me?? (camera quickly zooms back in)
After several poor potion choices, Kuzco demands Pacha let him pick the next one. He gets whale.
Whale!Kuzco: Don't you say a word...
Kronk's New Groove
One of the only really funny moments in Kronk's New Groove -
The sequel, despite otherwise being...well, a Disney sequel, does have its moments. In particular, the ending where Papi is introduced to Mrs. Kronk. And Mrs. Kronk. And Mrs. Kronk. And... You get the idea.
Kuzco's last-minute entrance in drag is arguably one of the better parts of the whole movie.
Doubly so as his entrance is actually part of the above Mrs. Kronk scene...and yes, he's there as Mrs. Kronk.
Kuzco: Like how I weaseled myself into the movie?
The Nostril Flare of Total Rejection.
Yzma's new underground laboratory, with a water slide entrance preceded by an Incan version of "It's A Small World".
Even better since Kronk goes in cheering with his hands up, clearly expecting something awesome like from the last movie...and is utterly confused when he sees the "It's a Small World" robots.
Yzma: Wait for it...(they suddenly go down a huge drop)
During the part where it's revealed that the youth potion is actually a fake and Kuzco pops up to point this out, this line after thinking that the Viewers Are Morons: