And when Mrs. Packard is evacuating herself. "Look, Marge, I have to go. No, no, I'll call you." All in the same monotone.
This dialogue between Milo and Vinny while loading the sub.
Vinny: Oh, ehh, gunpowder, nitroglycerin, notepads, fuses, wicks, glue, and uhh… Paperclips. Big ones. You know, just, eh, office supplies.
When Milo is speaking to Kida in several different languages and she speaks French, Mole excitedly exclaims "She speaks my language!" and promptly whispers something in her ear. Her response? Punching him in the face.
Kida's face prior to her punching his is amusing.
Made better when the others immediately take a liking to her as a result.
Milo: Will you look at the size of this? It's gotta be half a mile high, at least. It must have taken hundred — no, thousands of years to carve this thing. [Vinny blows it up so it falls down over a chasm] Vinny: Hey, look, I made a bridge. It only took me, like, what? Ten seconds? Eleven, tops.
It's the gleeful look on Vinny's face that seals the deal.
The picture of Preston Whitmore and Thaddeus Thatch immediately post-kiss. They're both recoiling, and it looks hilarious. And it's Whitmore's fault.
Mr. Whitmore: I told him "Thatch, if you actually find that so-called journal of yours, not only will I finance the expedition, I'll kiss you full on the mouth." Imagine my embarrassment when he found the damn thing.
When the Ulysses finally descends into the ocean, for a split-second, you can actually see a man waving at the viewers.
When Milo starts up one of the flying machines:
Vinny: Hey, Milo, you got somethin' a little more sporty? You know…like a tuna?
Clearly, Vinny gets all the best lines. From earlier:
Vinny: Hey, we've done a lot of things we're not proud of — robbin' graves, plunderin' tombs, double parking… But nobody ever got hurt before! (Beat) Well, somebody probably got hurt, but nobody we knew..."
Vinny: (upon seeing the sketch of the Leviathan, which resembles a lobster) With something like that, I'd have white wine, I think.
And then there's when he tricks Milo into thinking he drank nitroglycerin. "Don't move, don't breathe, don't do anything...except pray." "BOOM!" *Mole and Vinny walk away and laugh* And later: "Hey, too bad we don't got some nitroglycerin eh, Milo?"
Sweet's medical check-up of Milo, ending with him handing Milo two enormous beakers and telling him to fill them up. Milo does a Spit Take on the thermometer in his mouth. "With what?!"
Sweet's way of dealing with Mole after poor Milo sat on the dirt collection: show him soap, and yell as Mole retreats, "Back off, creature! Back to the pit from which you came!"
Sweets rat-tails the poor man!
Milo getting sick over the side of the ship. "Carrots, why is it always carrots. I didn't even eat carrots."
We are briefly given a shot of Milo and Audrey in an escape pod as Milo nervously chants "it's only a grease trap, it's just like a sink, it's only a grease trap, it's just like a sink..." Just the way Milo's voice sounds when the says the second "sink" gets me every time.
"Hah! What have you done? England must never merge with France!"
When Mole says that the volcano could be awakened by a gigantic explosion, everyone turns to Vinny, who is messing with a Time Bomb.
Vinny: Maybe I should do this later, huh?
Then when the volcano has awoken:
Vinny: (while holding a sizzling stick of dynamite) Hey, I had nothing to do with this!
It was in the midst of a dramatic moment, but there's just something unexpected enough to be amusing when a princess in a Disney movie kicks an enemy indelicately and then pulls a knife. Now why didn't Belle ever think of that?
Milo attempting to drive a truck.
Milo:'Course I can drive a truck. Sure, you got your steering and your gas and your brake and, of course, this metal, uh, looking... thing. Okay, so it was a bumper car at Coney Island, but it's the same basic principle.
The slide show.
Milo: The first slide is a depiction of a creature, a creature so frightening that sailors were said to be driven mad by the mere sight of it.
[a picture of Milo on the beach wearing flippers, a dragon-floaty and a fishing pole is shown while his cat Fluffy plays with the end of the fishing pole]
Whilmena Packard: Hubba, hubba.
Audrey: (eye roll) Geeze, I used to take lunch money from guys like this
Cookie is serving everybody the same brownish, disgusting slop:
Cookie: For the appetizer, Caesar salad, escargot, and your Oriental spring rolls.
Mole: I wanted the escargot!
Audrey: [Gives Mole her tray] Knock yourself out...
Later on during the same scene:
Cookie: Main course!
-Nobody wants to eat any more-
Cookie: Don't you worry. It'll keep and keep and keep!
Ms. Packard: Thank God I lost my sense of taste years ago.
When Milo is getting ready to interrogate Kida, he first recites what he's going to say to her after seeing her step out in the open. However just as he's about to talk to her, she sneaks up behind him and tells him the exact same thing he was going to say.
When the team gets attacked by the Kraken for the first time, Mole loses his cheese that he was eating which rolls into the water. When the Kraken reveals itself for the first time (in this case showing off its tentacles and roaring), Mole weakly says "Uh, you can have it."
"*after saving Audrey* You see? You cannot live without me."
Milo trying to explain a life preserver to Kida.
"How bout you translate and I'll wave the gun around!?"
Post-mass slide into darkness:
Rourke: All right, who's not dead? Sound off. * collective groans from main characters* Cookie: Dang lightnin' bugs done bit me on mah sit-upon! Someone's gonna have to suck out this poison! Now don't everybody jump up at once.