Fan Fic / Iron Hearts

The Iron Warriors 38th Company has landed in Equestria, entrenching themselves like a barbed hook after a fierce battle with the aliens of the Tau Empire, intent on destruction and pillage of anything and anyone they encounter.

A small squad is dispatched on a reconnaissance mission, only to find that there is intelligent life on this world unlike the feuding space-farers above.

Will these improbably adorable and friendly equine aliens turn the damned warriors of Chaos from their blood-soaked path, cleansing them of their dark legacy with the magic of friendship and harmony?

No.

No, that isn't happening.

Most stories about 40k can be really annoying to read due to a distinct lack of humor within the narrative. They tend to lack anything that is able to cause genuine "I forgot to breath" levels of laughter while still maintaining all of what you might expect from 40k. The author set out to defy this trend.

Story can be found here


This fic contains examples of the following:

  • Achievements in Ignorance: Derpy delivering a letter to Warmaster Solon in person. This is despite the fact that he was in the center of his heavily-defended base at the time, which was absolutely covered in automated defensive guns, guarded by hardened soldiers 24/7, and was getting more impenetrable by the hour. She didn't even notice any of these things.
  • A Father to His Men: Sliver, at least where the Iron Warriors are concerned.
  • Action Girl: Are you a female in this series? Then there is a 90% chance you're one of these.
  • Alien Blood: Blood for the bloodÖ. Wait, they're bugs, do they have ichor or something? Oh well.
  • Always Chaotic Evil: Chaos.
  • Armour Is Useless: Averted in that armor has saved quite a few characters.
  • The Artifact: The Warp Core for quite a while.
  • Ask a Stupid Question...: And most characters will give you either a stupid answer or an overly long, scientific answer that wonít be listened to.
  • Asteroids Monster: Solon is full of cockroaches.
  • Attack! Attack! Attack!: The main strategy of a large number of characters.
  • Authority Equals Asskicking: Subverted. Solon, Warsmith of the 38th Company, holds the record for most duels lost (largely because he survives losing).
  • Badass: Too many to list. Most of the other characters follow this trope (including the ponies), so rank is a pretty good indicator of fighting power.
  • Badass Bookworm: Twilight, as she is in her alicorn form for this story. She gets her opportunities to use her heightened magical power to defend her world.
  • Badass Family: A Nurgle cultist, part of a magical super weapon, and a cyborg; these are the Apple siblings.
  • Badass Normal: Daniels.
  • Bad Powers, Bad People: Chaos.
  • Bad Powers, Good People: The Chaos Mark Champions (formerly the Cutie Mark Crusaders).
  • Bad Vibrations: Used with Big Mac's apple juice to show that a Greater Knarloc is stomping towards the Apple farm. For bonus points, Pinkie naturally shows up to say that she remembers this scene from Draconic Park, directed by somepony named Stephen Spielbuck.
  • Big Bad: High Commander Voidsong for the first three books
  • Big Brother Instinct: Big Mac has this.
  • Big Damn Heroes: Most main characters have managed this at some point.
  • Black Magic: Chaos magic.
  • Blown Across the Room: Happens very often in fights.
  • Boring but Practical: Practicality is Iron Warrior policy.
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: Pinkie Pie, once again, reprises her role as Destroyer of the Fourth Wall. She claims to understand Crabapple's buzzing due to having subtitles on, and says she knows that Equestria will need saving since she read the plot outline notes.
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Tellis of the Iron Warriors is simultaneously a discussed and defied example. He is certainly one of the most deadly Raptors of the 38th Company, to the point that he's a powerful Champion of Khorne and gets the Blood God's direct attention occasionally. He's also one of the Legion's worst soldiers: Tellis has no attention span, barely listens to his own side, and doesn't care for tactics beyond flying headlong into a fight.
  • Can't Have Sex, Ever: Several Iron Warriors are incapable of removing their armor or have replaced much of their body with machinery. Orks as well considering they reproduce through spores.
  • Character Development: In droves.
  • Children Are Innocent: Good thing the 38th Company despises Slaanesh. Who knows what would have happened if the CMC had chosen his mark?
  • Cold-Blooded Torture: Subverted, the 38th doesnít need torture as they have the information psychically ripped from their enemies. Mostly due to the fact that when torture is used people will say anything.
  • Combat Pragmatist: Iron Warriors in general (there are exceptions).
  • Cool Big Sis: Applejack and Rarity.
  • Cool Car: The Rhinos. Any vehicle in this series really.
  • Cool Guns: Every gun in it could qualify.
  • Cool Pet: Applebloom has a pet maulerfiend.
  • Cool Sword: Power swords, Chainswords and many more.
  • Crazy Awesome: Rainbow Dash and Tellis.
  • Crazy-Prepared: When the Iron Warriors make planetfall they build a fortress.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: The space battle. The first dream simulation.
  • Cuteness Proximity: The Chaos soldiers accompany Dark Acolyte Gaelia in chapter 2 start losing their discipline when talking to Applebloom, whom they regard as one of the nicer things they've seen since turning to Chaos.
  • Cyborg: Standard policy in the Iron Warriors involves removing any non-useful mutations and injured parts and replacing them with cybernetics. Broken arm, must amputate and replace with a robotic arm.
  • Demonic Possession: Spike gets latched onto by a daemon hiding in a chaos artefact. Since there was no official contract, Discord has it removed from him.
  • Destructive Saviour: The Iron Warriors.
  • Didn't Think This Through: Rainbow Dash's attempt to make Tellis knock himself out by flying into a wall of Fluttershy's cottage, after enraging Tellis enough to make him chase her out of Ponyville. She didn't take into account that Tellis is a supersoldier who weighs about 600 pounds, is flying just as fast as she is, and that Fluttershy's cottage is made out of wood.
  • Didn't See That Coming: Happens to the Tau due to them not having much contact with humans outside of the Imperium, and are accordingly shocked by some of the things they see when fighting Chaos.
  • Divided We Fall: The Iron Warriors realize that if you just kill the regular humans willy nilly, then you wonít have enough people to operate at full capacity.
  • Door Stopper: At the time of its conclusion, the series clocks in at over a million words.
  • Drunk on the Dark Side: Chaos worshippers.
  • Eldritch Abomination: Daemons.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Not really no.
  • Evil Feels Good: Chaos grants lots of benefits.
  • Evil Sorcerer: Serith.
  • Extradimensional Short Cut: The Warp.
  • Fan Disservice: Any description of a Nurgle worshiper.
  • Fantastic Racist: Ponies towards Tau. Understandable, perhaps, since their first impression of the Tau Empire is profoundly negative.
  • Fearless Fool: Tellis. As well as any pony.
  • Fire-Forged Friends: The reason the Iron Warriors and ponies get along is their mutual antipathy for the Tau Empire.
  • Flat-Earth Atheist: Gaela outright refuses to believe the Celestia and Luna control the rotation of the planet and the moonís orbit. Until about three hours after the planet stops moving, when she relents to help the mane six.
  • Fluffy Tamer: Fluttershy makes riends with a group of daemon engines.
  • Fluffy the Terrible: Angel bunny, worshiper of Khorne.
  • Foreshadowing: Ork beacons are mentioned relatively early in the story.
  • From Bad to Worse: From maybe upwards of several thousand Tau (counting those in space) to nearly ten billion Orks.
  • Full-Frontal Assault: Tellisí style.
  • Gender Is No Object: As long as you prove useful the Iron Warriors donít care.
  • Giant Enemy Crab: Ignis Ferrox, a Defiler (read: a possessed robot bristling with guns, quadrupedal in stance with a pair of pinciers out the front), is compared to a crab. Solon is quite similar, but he's a person attached to a defiler's base. And who replaced the claws with a heavy bolter turret.
  • Good Old Fisticuffs: Tellis and Sliver slug it out over a party.
  • Healing Factor: Tellis can regrow Wolverine-style lightning claws.
  • Hearing Voices: The CMC.
  • Hidden Depths: The Iron Warriors.
  • Hyperspace Is a Scary Place: The Warp very much is.
  • I Don't Like the Sound of That Place: The warp and the galaxy at large.
  • Illegal Religion: At one point Celestia has any Chaos artifacts in Canterlot confiscated.
  • Immortality Inducer: Being a Space Marine, or worshiping Nurgle.
  • Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Tellis impales a Vespid on a Celestia Statue.
  • I'm Taking Her Home with Me!: Done by Apple Bloom to a daemon-corrupted probe droid, which she names Crabapple. Neither Applejack or Galea are happy about it. Crabapple, for "her" part, considers Apple Bloom her owner and resists all attempts to return to service.
  • Incorruptible Pure Pureness: Ponies have a natural resistance to Chaos, but they can give themselves over to Chaos.
  • Insectoid Aliens: The Vespid.
  • Jack-of-All-Stats: Space Marines.
  • Jetpack: Tellis enjoys his very much.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Subverted repeatedly. The Iron Warriors don't have hearts of gold, maybe hearts composed of unfathomable evil but no gold. Yet a lot of ponies worship them as heroes.
  • The Juggernaut: Space Marines.
  • Killer Rabbit: Angel Bunny.
  • Layered Metropolis: Canterlot is built into a mountain. The leader of the iron warriors regiment is disgusted by how it looks like a child's fantasy and is hard to defend.
  • Lighter and Softer: Than Warhammer in general.
  • Limited Wardrobe: When you canít remove your armor this is what happens.
  • Living Ship: The Iron Warriorís ship the Harvest of Steel.
  • Loophole Abuse: Trixie would never have succeeded in her first performance for the Iron Warriors without pulling this every time.
  • Luck Manipulation Mechanic: The author states in one of his notes that this is why no ponies have died yet.
  • Mad Scientist: Solon, and the Dark Mechanicus.
  • Made a Slave: Tau prisoners, or anyone who the 38th Company thinks could be useful working in their ships.
  • Made of Plasticine: If you donít have armor.
  • Make Them Rot: Nurgle-blessed weapons.
  • Mecha-Mooks: Drones.
  • Mile-Long Ship: Most space ships.
  • Mind Rape: How Serith gets information from prisoners.
  • Moody Mount: Maulerfiends arenít too happy to give Pinkie a ride.
  • Mooks: Subverted since the antagonist Tau, whom are killed off constantly and with no drama whatsoever, actually have a morally defensible mission, are fighting an explicitly evil army, and even occasionally make significant ethical decisions on the battlefield.
  • More Dakka: When Trixe gets guns expect this.
  • Nightmarish Factory: The Iron Warriors' base.
  • No One Gets Left Behind: Averted, the Tau are fully willing to leave people behind for the Greater Good.
  • Not So Different: Celestia gets told by Voidsong that they arenít that different at all. Celestia is not pleased.
  • Obviously Evil: The Iron Warriors.
  • Odd Friendship: Between Rainbow Dash and Tellis, after she flew next to an anti-air missile and kicked it hard enough to stop it from blowing him up. It impressed/distracted him enough to forget about horribly maiming her.
  • One-Man Army: Any Space Marine really.
  • Our Weapons Will Be Boxy in the Future: Bolters.
  • Person of Mass Destruction: Tellis.
  • Plasma Cannon: An available weapon.
  • Plot Armor: Are you a main character? Congratulations, youíll be fine.
  • Poor Communication Kills: The Mane Six get embroiled in their first fight due to the language barrier between them and the Tau. In this case, it did kill some Tau and Kroot.
  • Power Born of Madness: Chaos powers
  • Power Armor
  • Psychic Powers: All unicorns and psykers.
  • Psychic Static: The Shadow of the Warp
  • Radio Voice: Vox Systems.
  • Rage Breaking Point: Applejack refuses to get involved with the fighting between the Tau and the Iron Warriors, and maintains that her family will also stay out of it. It takes a Great Knarloc destroying some of the Apple's orchards and literally walking through their farmhouse before she finally snaps.
  • Reassigned to Antarctica: The 38th Companies of the Iron Warriors are stated to be this; back in the Pre-Heresy days, the grand companies of the Iron Warriors were required by their Primarch to maintain a 38th Company dedicated to guarding their supply lines. Even among a Legion that had grueling siegework as their lot in the Crusades, being in one of these companies was regarded as a punishment detail. When the fanfic starts, the 38th Company is still the place where the Iron Warriors dump Marines too incompetent or eccentric to tolerate, but who aren't total wastes of gene-seed to simply kill.
  • Red Shirt Army: The Chaos Mercenaries.
  • Running Gag: Humans are absolutely blown away by cragodiles, and someone will always comment on "alligators made of rocks".
  • Sadly Mythtaken: Tellis thinks the Four Elements are "Fire, Blood, Plasma, and Spicy Nacho."
  • Sapient Tank: Daemon engines.
  • She Is Not My Girlfriend: Everybody seems pretty sure Wyatt Daniels and Applejack are a thing. Everybody except them.
  • Shock and Awe: How ponies generally react to things.
  • Shout-Out: An elderly unicorn uses the Jedi Mind Trick from Star Wars to gain access to Ferrous Dominous, and is himself a Captain Ersatz of Ben Kenobi.
  • Space Marines
  • Space Pirates: The 38th Company.
  • The Spark of Genius: Solon's ability to construct weapons and equipment is far beyond that of the small army of scientists and engineers at his beck and call.
  • Summon Magic: Daemon summoning specifically.
  • Sweet Tooth: General Gnoss develops a taste for chocolate cake, and is astounded by the prospect of strawberry-flavoured milk.
  • Techno Wizard: The Dark Mechanicus.
  • Teleporters and Transporters
  • Temple of Doom: Chaos temples.
  • The Dragon: Hazarr "Coggz" Wrencha is surprisingly intelligent for an Ork, whether in building gigantic war machines or keeping an interest in what calls the Orks to the Centaur System in the first place. He still has to follow the Warboss's orders, though; the Warboss is bigger than he is.
  • Unstoppable Rage: If you worship Khorne you have this.
  • Verbal Judo: Twilight often acts as the voice of reason to keep things calm between the violent, alien militants of the 38th Company and the Equestrians, some of whom are less than happy to be fighting, helping, or even tolerating the forces of Chaos.
  • Villain by Default: Subverted constantly. The 38th Company are space pirates, evil cultists, and violent tyrants, and everypony knows it. But the Equestrians end up making friends with them and becoming allies anyway.
  • Violence Is the Only Option: The factions from 40K will always choose violence first. Applejack gets lectured by Twilight for doing this during the first encounters with the probe and Tau.
  • Wants a Prize for Basic Decency: Serith honestly thought returning something he stole (The Elements of Harmony) would endear him to Celestia.
  • War God: Khorne.
  • We Have Reserves: Averted with the 38th Company, which tries to conserve its troops. Even the redshirts. Even the Orks (or at least their leader) has a problem with this. As much as an Ork can be against it anyway.
  • Well-Intentioned Extremist: The Tau.
  • A Wizard Did It: This is Dark Acolyte Gaelia's default explanation for technical things she doesn't want to explain to the uninitiated, blaming Warp energy for the strange things she runs into. Justified, as Warp energy does actually cause a good deal of odd events.
  • With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: Chaos powers.
  • Wrench Wench: Gaela.
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: The Apple siblings' first reaction to a possible visitor from outer space is to track it down and try to sell it apples. To their credit, they wise up quickly when the probe starts to look threatening.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/IronHearts