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A Brief History of Equestria is a My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanfic by K9 the First.

It shows the real versions of Equestria's founders as shown in "Hearth's Warming Eve," presented as an extensive In-Universe history book. It starts with the nomadic ancestors of Equestrians' settling of the Old Land that the ponies lived in, then describes the origins of the three tribes, the events that led to Hearth's Warming, and the formation of Equestria.

The author has provided an outlet for side stories, appropriately called Brief History: Side Stories.

Has an entry on the MLP Fanart Wiki that could use some love.

Not to be confused with Equestria: A History Revealed.

Now has a character page.


Tropes:

  • Abduction Is Love: Seven years after the Warming, Hurricane steals Clover out of her own bedroom. However, he's a complete gentlepony about it, and eventually returns Clover to her bedroom after sharing a private dinner with her. It's suspected that Princess Platinum helped set this up without either Hurricane's or Clover's knowledge.
  • Abnormal Ammo: Evidently, the use of baked goods as weapons is an ancient Earth Pony tradition.
  • Above the Influence: Hurricane comforts Clover after her father's death by sleeping in her bed... but strictly in a platonic sense.
  • Abusive Parents:
    • Hurricane's mother Star Saber treated him horribly, due to his being a colt. His response to seeing her dead body frozen in the snow after the Warming was to laugh, and he has no regrets about it.
    • The laughter may be less due to her finally being dead (at ninety-two), and more from the fact she was evidently defending a crate of food... That was empty. And perhaps just sheer shock that someone so utterly, utterly incompetent could be such a monster to him.
  • Action Mom: Hurricane placed Pansy and her son Plow Blade under house arrest during the Winter War while he went to go kill her lover. When the guards ignored her polite requests to stand down and let her leave, she knocked them out. Then she tracked down her father and fought him to a standstill until he let go of his hatred.
  • A God Am I: By the time of the Lake Trot Crisis, Sullamander was having all Academy cadets trained to view her practically as a deity. After her death, her remaining loyalists referred to her as the "Eternal Commander" and seemed convinced she would return from the dead to lead them again.
  • All for Nothing: Princess Platinum's desire to get rid of the monarchy, eventually resulting in her suicide, will eventually be rendered pointless when Princess Celestia and Princess Luna show up and Equestria becomes a Diarchy.
  • All There in the Manual: Any extra bits that would be awkward in the main narrative are usually posted by the author in the comments section. This is also the purpose of Brief History: Side Stories.
  • Almighty Janitor: Private Pansy actively refused several promotions before the Chiefs of Staff insisted she become Hurricane's second because she was competent and he wouldn't knock her up like the previous ones.
  • Alternate Universe: As the series expanded the setting starting in Season 4, the discrepancies became harder and harder to justify, until with Season 7 the author straight up gave up and made this an alternative canon, rather than a plausible canon as intended.
  • Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: There were times when Hurricane's exploits made Pansy's life rather awkward.
  • Amazon Brigade: Most Pegasus soldiers were mares.
  • Amazon Chaser: In one side story, Trencher says of his relationship with Pansy "I love being married to a badass".
  • Apologetic Attacker: Hurricane apologizes to Platinum and Puddinghead after knocking them out for trying to interfere in his duel with Pansy.
  • Aristocrats Are Evil: The words "Unicorn Nobility" might as well be used as swear words in this fic.
  • Artifact of Doom: Estelnehtar, Talonhoof's magic pike. A side story reveals that Luna later melted it down and reforged it into her armor, which apparently contributed to her becoming Nightmare Moon.
  • Ascended to a Higher Plane of Existence: Appears to have been Star Swirl's final fate.
  • Asskicking Leads to Leadership: How Talonhoof took control of the remnants of the Mongrellian Horde.
  • Ax-Crazy: Talonhoof is, to put it lightly, a genocidal nutter.
  • Badass and Baby: Pansy goes to stop her father from killing Trencher in a jury-rigged papoose made from bloodied bandages and stitching needles. This after she knocked out her guards despite having given birth not long before.
  • Bad Boss:
    • Sullamander. She killed General Thistle Whistle for questioning one of her new laws, and threatened the other Chiefs-Of-Staff with the same to keep them in line. And she gets worse during her final days, due to suffering a Villainous Breakdown.
    • Talonhoof was not above killing his own troops for sparing children, and in a way that made sure it took them a long time to die.
  • Balkanize Me:
    • The Griffin Empire fell apart into thousands of statelets and city-states due to breakaway warlords and barbarian attacks.
    • The Mongrellian Horde, stated to be the largest empire in history, fell apart due to a Succession Crisis after its founder's death, leaving only scattered packs.
  • Battle Couple: Hurricane and Wind Whistler.
  • Belligerent Sexual Tension: Hurricane and Clover. In spades.
  • Brick Joke: Apparently Viscount Arsenic believed the earth ponies were "too incompetent to operate a sandwich". In the battle that results in his army being destroyed by Cripps, the only earth pony casualty is some poor soul who choked on a sandwich.
  • Bodyguard Betrayal: In the last Unicorn civil war many nobles were murdered by their own guards, saving Princess Platinum the trouble of a long and drawn out civil war.
  • Bothering by the Book: Wind Whistler cuts off Sullamander's tyrannical decries, and even threatens to kill her (both considered insubordination and treason respectively in the Junta, and both punishable by death), but then she points out how Sullamander's actions are considered treasonous by the Articles of Command, and shows where it describes the manner she will kill Sullamander if she doesn't back down.
  • By "No", I Mean "Yes": The ancient Manehattan ponies were an "easy and tempting target," except "an attack [on Manehattan] would become very unpleasant very quickly" thanks to the terrain, Unicorn magic, Pegasus weather control, and Earth Pony strength.
  • The Caligula:
    • CHANCELLOR PUDDINGHEAD. She managed to get elected via youth vote, and died shortly after Hearth's Warming via a stupid dare. To complete the reference to Caligula, many of her family were named after the man's family members. Fortunately, she's relatively harmless. Became a Cincinnatus after the Warming, when she stood down from her position and spent the last years of her life throwing parties to help interracial relations.
    • Commander Sullamander was this played seriously, to the point that General Wind Whistler was able to lead roughly two-thirds of the entire Celestine military against her in a coup when things reached a boiling point.
  • Caligula's Horse: Puddinghead appointed her pet parrot speaker of the house; even after it died, she had it stuffed and insisted it was still alive. Of course it could actually talk while alive, even if all it said was praises for its owner.
  • The Charmer: Hurricane. He has experience.
  • Chivalrous Pervert: Hurricane. An excerpt from Clover the Clever's diary informs us that the only thing he is more renowned for than his sexual prowess is his sense of honor.
  • Clasp Your Hands If You Deceive : Platinum, all the time.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: Puddinghead.
  • Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: Smart Cookie was appointed Secretary of the Interior primarily so somepony could deal with Puddinghead's craziness directly. She was not enthused.
  • Composite Character:
  • Cool Old Lady: Implied with Platinum's later years, as her death at the age of sixty came as a result of a spelunking accident. Then we find out it was actually suicide disguised as an accident, but as it was the final stroke of a lifetime of manipulation for the greater good, one can say that she was still cool.
  • Crazy-Prepared: King Aurum's sister Osmium had protective magical jewels sown into all of her clothes just in case of assassination attempts. Sadly, this failed to protect her during the nobility's purge of the royal family.
  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Private Pansy. You wouldn't think much of her skills just looking at her Battle Scores in the academy. …But then you let her out onto a REAL battlefield.
  • Cruel Mercy: After his mother tried and failed to lead a counter-coup against him, Hurricane spared her the executions bestowed on her comrades; not out of familial obligation, but because he wanted her to live with her failure. On top of that, he removed almost all reference to said coup, denying her even any infamy for the role she played in it.
  • The Cuckoolander Was Right: The Earth Ponies really did settle Equestria "earlier than first!"
  • Curb-Stomp Battle:
    • Star-Swirl vs the entire Unicorn court.
    • Before the Lake Trot Crisis, the Kingdom of Unicorns held one-third of the coast of said lake. After, they held... Three percent.
    • Lady Cripps sent the Celestine army into retreat during the Lake Trot Crisis, while taking only one casualty. Said casualty came from choking on a sandwich.
    • When the Founders were all in the cave during the Winter War, Platinum and Puddinghead tried to kill Hurricane, only for him to knock them both out with a single buck each.
    • The first confrontation between the Equestrian military and Talonhoof's horde nearly wiped out the former.
  • Cycle of Revenge: Platinum feared the newly-formed Equestria would descend into this if a proper, unified government wasn't formed, and worked hard with the other Founders to create one.
  • Dating What Daddy Hates: Sorry Hurricane, but Pansy enjoys plowing with Trencher.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Hurricane and Clover.
  • Death of a Child:
    • As would naturally happen in a pre-industrial society. Smart Cookie makes mention that of seven fillies she gave birth to, only four of them survived to adulthood. And considering that, historically, only one out of every three children survived to adulthood, the number even fits with a typical family.
    • Talonhoof makes an example of a young pony one of his minions spared during his rampage through Equestria.
  • Decadent Court: The court of the Kingdom of Unicorns is not a friendly place.
  • Determinator: Wind Whistler, from the moment she decided Sullamander should be overthrown all the way to her death at Sullamander's hooves. Even her death did not stop her, since by then Sullamander was doomed.
    • This seems to be the way Hurricane approached everything in his life, whether it was fighting as a slave in the Coltiseum, bedding his 1000th conquest, or forging three disparate, bickering tribes into the new nation of Equestria. It's no wonder that he and Wind Whistler made such a good team.
  • Direct Line to the Author: The whole story is presented as an in-verse history book written by Twilight Sparkle (in the wake of nopony recognizing her Star-Swirl costume) with the help of historians and scholars from two ministries of Celestia's government.
  • Dirty Old Man: Hurricane remains sexually active well into his golden years.
  • Does Not Like Men: Sullamander.
  • Doorstopper: In-Universe. The Articles of Command are ridiculously huge.
  • Dramatic Irony: On occasion, parts of Twilight's research will be denied by the side stories. Chief among these is Benzatine, a unicorn noble who is apparently loyal to the crown. In fact, he's a barely hidden Bitch in Sheep's Clothing who wants to create a Puppet King, with him holding the strings.
  • Driven to Suicide: During the Lake Trot Crisis/Celestine Civil War, a miscommunication led to General Downpour launching an attack on fellow rebels that claimed the life of her colleague and friend General Torrent. When she realized what had happened, she appointed her adjunct leader of her forces and then slit her own throat. (The author's notes specifically compare this to seppukku.)
  • Edible Ammunition: One of the many Earth Pony abilities is the capacity to weaponize baked goods.
  • Emotion Eater: The Windigos, of course, though the story goes into detail on how it works.
  • The Empire: The Griffin Empire for most of Equestria's pre-unification days. It collapsed, but was later briefly reunited by Talonhoof and combined with the remnants of the Mongrellian Horde, creating the largest contiguous state in history.
  • Enemy Mine: Wind Whistler recruited help from Star-Swirl and several unicorns loyal to him to assist in her coup against Sullamander.
  • Epic Fail:
    • The Kingdom of Unicorns in the Lake Trot Crisis ended up taking way worse losses than the other tribes.
    • Star-Swirl's Winter Emergency Summit was planned to last a week, with preparations to last longer if necessary. The Shouting Congress, as it became known to history, lasted twenty minutes.
    • As opposed to her son Hurricane, Star Saber's life is just one failure after another.
  • Ethical Slut: Yep, it's Hurricane. According to both Clover and Platinum.
  • Everypony Can See It: It seems all the other Founders were well aware of the attraction between Hurricane and Clover long before they began their relationship.
  • Evil Overlord: Sullamander, of the military dictator variety.
    • Talonhoof is a more traditional example.
  • Exact Words: King Aurum calls on this trope in order to make Platinum heir to the throne.
  • Expy: Puddinghead is one for Emperor Caligula, a Genghis Khan expy founded the Mongrellian Horde, the Commander before Hurricane was the Sulla to his Julius Caesar although in the end she turned into Downfall!Hitler, and Smart Cookie is one for John Adams.
    • Star-Swirl the Bearded has tones of Gandalf and Merlin in him.
    • Hurricane also has shades of Empress Theodora of Byzantine, who spent part of life as a prostitute before becoming the ruler of the empire (Technically, her husband was the ruler, but he generally deferred to her judgement). Theodora also created laws that decreased the affect of rampant sexism in the society (Though it didn't last long after her death).
  • Fair for Its Day: In-Universe, Hurricane may come off as needlessly aggressive to modern Equestrians, but he was actually a lot more peaceful and diplomatic than most Commanders.
  • Fantastic Racism: Hurricane doesn't like the idea of filthy ground-pounders spending great deals of time alone with his favorite baby girl. This reached a boiling point when he tried to arrest and kill Trencher for getting Pansy pregnant, kicking off the Winter War.
  • Final Solution: Talonhoof went to war with Equestria for no other reason than to wipe the ponies out of existence.
  • Flanderization:
    • Happens In-Universe to most of the historical founders, but especially Pansy, and Princess Platinum's real personality isn't even remembered by pony culture. Puddinghead however was toned down in pony culture, being even more insane than what we saw in Hearth's Warming Eve. Is there a Trope for Reverse Flanderization?
    • While Fluttershy is a direct descendant of Pansy Word of God states that Pansy's personality was more like Rainbow Dash's. The thing is even Dash would have been considered timid by the standards of the Pegasi of that era! Mostly because Dash, like Pansy and her mother would place the lives of her teammates over victory and be darn proud of that fact.
  • Fluffy the Dark Lord: The founder of the Mongrellian Empire.
  • Foregone Conclusion:
    • Talonhoof the Reviled does not succeed in his plan to exterminate pony-kind, and will be defeated by Mimic, the Great and Powerful.
    • Discord, when he shows up, will be defeated by Princess Celestia and Princess Luna using the Elements of Harmony.
  • Foreshadowing: While discussing his mother's attempted coup, Hurricane mentions burying all records of it, and hopes that "someday a fire'll burn through it, long after we're gone". And then Talonhoof comes along...
  • Founder of the Kingdom:
    • Examples are given of the both the more Mythical and the more Historical takes of this trope for the Celestine Junta and the Kingdom of Unicorns respectively.
    • The Junta was founded by twins Celest and Silus in much the same way as Romulus and Remus.
    • Meanwhile, the Kingdom of Unicorns was forged by then Grand Archduke Æthelric the Stern of Two Dozen Sons, forcing the lesser Lords to swear fealty to him to prevent open war among all the other Unicorn rulers.
  • Four-Star Badass: Hurricane, Wind Whistler, Sullamander, and Lady Cripps the Pink.
  • General Failure:
    • Sullamander is not as competent a Commander as she would like to think.
    • Nor is Viscount Arsenic.
    • Hurricane's mother Star Saber took this to a whole new level.
    • Many commanders in the republic's new army, due to still lingering racism. When Talonhoof and his armies come marching through, the ponies don't stand a chance until the horde overextends itself.
  • Genius Bruiser: Several, but most prominently General Wind Whistler, who feels just as comfortable debating the finer points of Celestine constitutional jurisprudence as she does ramming a spear through your head.
  • Gladiator Games: A disgraced Hurricane spent most of Pansy's foalhood in the arena. His real world experience on the battlefield (and his popularity with the citizens) kept him alive and constantly victorious in countless matches.
  • Gladiator Revolt: Hurricane led one of these.
  • God Save Us from the Queen!: While not a queen, Commander Sullamander was a very tyrannical female ruler.
  • Gondor Calls for Aid: And Star-Swirl the Bearded shall answer.
  • Got Volunteered: Poor Smart Cookie. Twice — first to be Puddinghead's Secretary, then to be the Equestrian Republic's first Premier.
  • Great Big Book of Everything: Well, more like "Great Big Book of Laws," but the Articles of Command (the full bound version at least) is described as 20x8 inches, consists of over 1600 pages, weighs forty pounds, and has 300 articles at least (the US Constitution has 7, not counting any that may be in the the 27 amendments), which covers (among other things one would assume) in no uncertain terms what is considered inside and outside the Commander's powers, and what to do when a Commander shows signs of turning into a Tyrant, right down to the methods of execution and how to dispose of the body. Not bad for a Stratocracy.
  • Happily Married: Hurricane may, arguably, have slept with more mares, and fathered more ponies, than any other stallion in Equestria's long history (it is estimated that 1-in-7 Pegasi are descended from him). But once Hurricane married Clover the Clever, no one could dispute that they were utterly devoted to each other. They enjoyed more than forty years of marital bliss which ended only upon his peaceful death of extreme old age, with his loving wife right at his side.
  • Has a Type: Yes Hurricane slept with pretty much anything female but his two great loves, Wind Whistler and Clover the Clever, were Badass Bookworm types with cores of steel, a strong sense of justice and an ability to keep up with just about anyone.
  • Head Desk: Platinum does this with a tree when her nobles are being overly dramatic and whiny on the way to a new land, as recorded by Clover the Clever:
    When I inquired as to her intent, she simply said that she was looking for the densest tree in the forest. I inquired as to why she needed such a tree, but I was ignored. Finding a tree that evidently served her purposes to a sufficient amount, the Princess reared up onto the trunk and began to smite the tree with her cranium...
  • Head in a Box: Talonhoof did this to return every ambassador suing for peace that the Equestrian government sent to him.
  • Head-in-the-Sand Management: The Equestrian government before and during the Talonhoof assault — before, they ignored Talonhoof's rise to power. When the assault started on their outer territories, they dithered and ignored reports of massacres. And when his armies were on their doorstep, most still wanted to appease him, or even outright surrender.
  • Heroic Bastard: Lady Cripps the Pink of the Hyracotherium Republic. The result of an affair her mother had with a Unicorn noble (who left her shortly after), Cripps eventually became a national hero by leading Hyracotherium forces to victory in the Lake Trot Crisis.
  • The High Queen: Platinum, even if her official title was "king".
  • Hold the Line: Star Burst's force does this at the Battle of the Corridor to allow civilians time to escape Talonhoof's horde. It works, providing a much needed morale boost.
  • The Horde:
    • The Mongrellian Horde, which would eventually collapse to in-fighting over which line of descent from the founder should rule. Just like the Real Life counterpart
    • Talonhoof's army is composed of the remnants of the above merged with the resurgent Griffin empire.
  • Humble Pie: Hurricane gets a big slice when, after a lifetime of looking down on Earth Ponies, he spends his retirement years running a farm and realizing what hard work it is.
  • I Did What I Had to Do: How Platinum justified to herself her more unsavory actions, such as purging the royal court or assassinating Grand Duke Benzatine, performed for the sake of a united and stable Equestria.
  • The Immodest Orgasm: Implied via Word of God.
    "At long last, you can know the pain of screams echoing down the halls late into the night.”
    Princess Platinum to Clover the Clever, at the birth of the latter's eldest child.
  • Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Sullamander's preferred method of killing ponies. Ironically how Hurricane finished her off.
  • I Need a Freaking Drink: According to one biographer, when Puddinghead finally won the chancellorship, her father responded by drinking heavily for almost a week.
  • Irony: The landed gentry Princess Platinum appointed tried to have her made Queen after the Warming, the very thing she was vehemently opposed to. Princess Platinum's reaction to this is undocumented.
    • Hurricane and Pansy's modern rendition are so polar opposite their actual selves it's laughable; the text informs us Hurricane would ask his Gender Flip out and Pansy would strangle her Shrinking Violet self for being a wuss.
  • I Shall Taunt You: Cripps the Pink took the Unicorn title of "Lady" to mock the Unicorns with the fact that she was an Earth pony with Unicorn heritage.
  • It Runs in the Family: All of Hurricane's children that we have specifically seen seem to inherit his badass gene. They also seem to inherit his ability to snatch a bad situation out of the aggressor's power and come out looking awesome.
  • In-Universe Factoid Failure: It's apparently common in fiction to portray Viscount Arsenic as Lady Cripps' father (the one who abandoned her and her mother after her birth) because of their rivalry prior to and during the Lake Trot Crisis. This despite the fact that he would have been all of two years old at the time.
  • Jerkass: Musty Tomes, a historian from three hundred years after the warming, who from what we see of their writings is a monarchist, who thought the world honestly would've been better off ruled by royalty.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: How Clover the Clever views Commander Hurricane during the first few years of their friendship, finding her admiration for his heroism and idealism tempered with disgust towards his boorish, crass and oversexed personality. She eventually warmed up considerably to him and they ended up spending quite a lot of time together
    • Puddinghead was as mad as a box of drunk frogs but she cared about her countrymen's wellbeing and Smart Cookie admitted that for the madmare's many faults, she clearly did try to help unify Equestria
  • Kick The Son Of A Bitch: The general reaction in-verse to what happens to most of Platinum's Court
    • To date, not a single pony has come up with anything negative to say about the Windigos' extinction.
  • Kicked Upstairs: Any noble who joined the Equestrian Republic's House of Lords. The Founders only created it alongside the Congress and Senate to shut the complaining nobles up, and it had no real legislative power. It's even referred to in-story as a "country club without the country".
  • Kubrick Stare: Platinum in one side-story.
  • Ladykiller in Love: Commander Hurricane eventually falls in love with and marries Clover the Clever.
    • It's implied he felt this way about General Wind Whistler as well.
  • Lady Land: The Pegasus tribe's high command and officer corps consist primarily of mares. In fact, Hurricane was the first male Supreme Commander.
  • Large Ham: Hurricane.
  • Legend Fades to Myth: Almost everything known about Star-Swirl before becoming King Aurum's Court Mage.
    • To a lesser extent, Sullamander's last days. Between her executing Generals Bridle Chomper and Haymaker and her final fight with Hurricane and Pansy, it's unsure what she did, with various reports of different atrocities she performed in her madness (many of which are attributed to Hurricane-era propaganda).
  • Let No Crisis Go to Waste: Before Queen Argentum's body was even cold, the nobles were trying to force King Aurum to marry again and produce a "proper" heir to replace Platinum.
    • Platinum herself wasn't above this, making sure to curry the favor of one of Benzatine's servants (who was pregnant with his son's foal, in addition to being his daughter as well) after his death to prevent said foal being declared Benzatines' heir.
  • Loveable Sex Maniac: ...Do we really need to say it? Hurricane.
  • Make It Look Like an Accident: The official account presented in the main story is that Grand Duke Benzatine (who nearly succeeded in uniting the Unicorn nobility towards pushing for Equestria being a kingdom) died from alcohol poisoning due to drinking too much at a ball. A side story reveals that in actuality, Platinum had him poisoned for threatening her plans for a democratic Equestria.
    • Hell, Platinum did this with her own death, to the point even her own inner circle thought it was an accident.
  • Manipulative Bitch: You will never guess.
  • Master-Apprentice Chain: Star-Swirl the Bearded -> Clover the Clever -> Mimic the Great and Powerful.
  • Matriarchy: The Celestine Junta is Patriarchy Flip variety, with stallions considered lower class citizens and worth less than mares.
  • May–December Romance: Commander Hurricane and Clover the Clever eventually marry. At the time of their marriage: He's sixty-two. She's twenty-six.
  • Mêlée à Trois: The Lake Trot Crisis started as the Celestine Junta attacking the Hyracotherium Republic and Kingdom of Unicorns for control of said lake. Then Wind Whistler kicked off her coup, which led to the troops loyal to her attacking those loyal to Sullamander; both the Earth Ponies and Unicorns decided to take advantage of this to take more territory for themselves, and started attacking each other as well as the Pegasi.
    • The Winter War wasn't supposed to be one of these — nominally, the Republic and Kingdom were allied against the Junta. However, only the Royal army obeyed that; the nobility's mercenary forces splintered, with only some fighting the Junta, some fighting the Republic, and some fighting everyone for the sake of riches.
  • Mercy Kill: A Griffin Legate to a Diamond Dog that ran afoul of Talonhoof's temper.
  • Mythology Gag: Many of the important historical figures are named after ponies from previous generations.
    • The narrator mentions that while Hurricane named his daughter, Pansy, after a flower he had taken a liking to, the actual flower had been a posey. Posey is Fluttershy's earlier-generation precursor, just as Pansy is her historical precursor.
    • Dream Valley, the central location of G1, is presented as being another valley in the same river valley as the tribes, becomes a protectorate of the Celestine Junta, and later evacuates with them to the new homeland.
    • The unfortunate Thistle Whistle is named after a pony from the reviled Gen 3.5.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: Smart Cookie is horrified when she realizes that the plans she helped Puddinghead draw up for colonizing a new homeland will mean effectively leaving the other tribes to slow death by starvation and hypothermia.
  • Necessarily Evil: Platinum was under no delusions that she was a good pony; doing horrible things for the greater good of Equestria took a horrible toll on her emotionally, and in her final moments she was convinced both that her father and Star Swirl would have been disappointed in her, and that she'd be facing eternal damnation.
  • Nerds Are Sexy: Commander Hurricane certainly thought so. Of the two mares he genuinely fell in love with, the first, General Wind Whistler, was a brilliant military tactician who graduated first in her class in the Military Academy and led the revolt against the tyrant Sullamander. As for the second, Clover the Clever, she was the Head Royal Adviser to the Kingdom of Unicorns, had a photographic memory, and provided much of the intellectual and philosophical foundation for the founding of Equestria.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: The Winter War ultimately only happened because of Hurricane's racism and overprotectiveness. However, as the author points out, this ultimately also led to Hearth's Warming and the founding of Equestria, thus making it a subverted trope.
  • Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: Sullamander thought that by killing the only general on her Joint Chiefs-of-Staff who outright opposed her, she could cow the Staff into doing whatever she wanted. Instead the General that replaced her was Wind Whistler, who proceeded to No-Sell Sullamander's nonsense and pointed out how the the Articles of Command allowed her to kill the Commander for her actions if she didn't back off.
  • No Heterosexual Sex Allowed: Well…Sullamander tried anyway.
  • Non-Indicative Name: The Wet Hooves Massacre four years after the Warming. It was a brief scuffle between a young, stuck up noble and some Pegasi who didn't like him messing with some friends of theirs who used to be his family's serfs, but his version of events and the resulting gossip retellings made it sound much worse.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: Smart Cookie did this in order to manipulate Puddinghead into being relatively sane. She eventually starts to feel guilty about manipulating the older mare, though.
    • This was also the key to Platinum's manipulation of the nobility.
  • Oh, Crap!: The Windigos have a big one when they see Hurricane giving up his hate. Clover finds it satisfying.
  • Old Soldier: Star-Swirl the Bearded. Also Hurricane's son Star Burst, who fought in the Talonhoof Assault in his eighties, personally fighting Talonhoof himself and nearly killing him twice.
    • In fact, at the age of fifty at the time of the Assault, Talonhoof counts as well. Given the typically short lifespans of the period, not many lived to that age and fewer still were out leading massive armies on a quest for conquest.
  • The One Guy: Hurricane was the only stallion among the founders.
  • Operation: [Blank]: The Celestine Junta's plan for colonizing and relocating to a new land was codenamed Operation Withdrawal.
  • Our Liches Are Different: Puddinghead was convinced that a Cuttlefish Lich-Queen lived in Lake Trot.
  • Parental Neglect: Clover's father only seemed to acknowledged her existence when she became Star Swirl's student, and even then still only viewed her as a political tool.
  • Pass the Popcorn: As shown in one side story, during Hurricane and Clover's courting days, Platinum and retainers would listen in from nearby, taking bets on the outcome, with the princess herself enjoying roasted walnuts while listening.
  • Pointy-Haired Boss: Blistering Gale, who by the time of the Talonhoof Assault is commander in-chief of the Pegasi armies, and as Twilight informs us, not the best candidate for the job, mainly acting out of a desire for glory. She also ignores Star-Burst's warnings and underestimates Talonhoof. Both her and her entire army die, to a pony.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: Sullamander was incredibly misandristic, even by the standards of the Junta.
  • Poor Communication Kills: During the Lake Trot Crisis/Celestine Civil War, a message meant for loyalist General Haymaker instead ended up in possession of General Downpour, who ended up launching an attack that claimed the life of her friend and fellow rebel General Torrent. When she realized what she had done, she killed herself.
  • The Pornomancer: Commander Hurricane. This is the reason Pansy was, against her vehement wishes, appointed his second-in-command. He had literally knocked up every second-in-command he had ever had. Pansy was appointed his second because she had both the needed qualifications to serve as his second-in-command. The first is that she was good at her job. The second, and considered more important by the higher-ups, is that she was somepony that Commander Hurricane would refuse to have sex with, by virtue of being his daughter.
  • Properly Paranoid: Princess Osmium (Platinum's aunt, and Aurum's older sister) was convinced somepony would try to kill her in her sleep. This was in fact what happened, but Osmium didn't last long enough to feel any validation about it.
  • Protectorate: Dream Valley became one to the Junta, providing the Pegasi with food in exchange for protection. Hurricane even ordered that all the Dream Valley ponies (even the Unicorns and Earth Ponies) be brought with them to the new homeland once it was settled. Though, pragmatically speaking, that was more for using them to grow food than caring for them.
  • Psycho Lesbian: Some scholars suspect Sullamander of being this. But they are clearly so far in the gutter they see such things everywhere.
  • Psychological Projection: The Narrator is usually good at giving alternate takes of historical events and ponies their due respect. But the moment the idea that Sullamander was gay and her predecessor was a Pedo is brought up, it's all nothing more than either shoddy investigation or Girl on Girl Is Hot-adhering scholars.
    • To quote one reader: "Your bias is showing, Twilight."
  • Puppet King: The Throne of the Kingdom of Unicorns has fallen far from the days of Æthelric. After some three-thousand years (give or take) of schemes and the occasional weak ruler, King Aurum and Platinum basically has to do what the Decadent Court wants, and it is no secret that they want to overthrow him and his family. And since Æthelric forced the Kingdom into existence to prevent all of the nobles from waging wars on each other, and the nobles haven't changed a bit… Well, let's just say that "implosion" would be a good word for a speculative Post-Royalty situation.
    • It's speculated that had Aurum been allowed to act on his own during the Shouting Congress, the summit might have worked. Instead, having to pander to the nobles' desires without getting a word in edgewise himself only infuriated Hurricane, which led to the Congress falling apart.
  • The Purge: Princess Platinum does one on her own court in the wake of Hearth's Warming.
    • A minor one occurred 30 years before Hearth's Warming when nearly all of the Unicorn royal family was slain ala the Romanovs, save the youngest prince, who went to Star-Swirl for aid.
  • Pyrrhic Victory: The conclusion of the Celestine Civil War: Sullamander is overthrown, but Wind Whistler is killed, Celestine itself lies in ruins, a large chunk of the population view Hurricane and the rebels as traitors unfit to rule, and Lake Trot, the objective which instigated the war, freezes over, rendering all the death and destruction pointless.
    • It is theorized that Platinum would regard modern Equestria as one. Yes it's a place where all live in harmony...but it's a diarchy, meaning everything she did to remove the monarchy and nobility of her day was All for Nothing.
  • Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil: Grand Duke Benzatine's son apparently felt this wasn't enough, and was depraved enough to do so to his half-sister (who was herself implied to not necessarily be from a consensual coupling between Benzatine and the mare implied to be her mother). Suddenly his accidental death in hunting and his father's apparent lack of grief look interesting...
  • Rasputinian Death: Let's count the wounds on Sullamander when she died: One (1) gouged out and profusely bleeding eye, both a broken neck and broken jaw, Two (2) stab wounds (one to the right kidney, the other into the chest cavity from inside the collar bone), and "numerous" lacerations from a sword blade. What did her in was having said sword run through her from behind so deep it burst through the sternum. But her rage and hatred kept her alive for a little while longer, just to spite Hurricane.
  • Really Gets Around: Commander Hurricane. It's estimated that 1-in-7 Pegasi are his descendants.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: The aptly named Smart Cookie
  • Reincarnation Romance: Noted as an interesting implication by the author since Wind Whistler died towards the end of the Lake Trots Crisis and Clover the Clever was born in the aftermath, and both fell in love with Commander Hurricane.
  • Related in the Adaptation: Several canon characters via Word of God:
    • Fluttershy to Private Pansy, and through her Commander Hurricane.
      • Given that this is Hurricane, it should be of no surprise that there are other characters, such as Babs Seed (and thus the Apples by marriage), and 1 in 7 of all modern Pegasi.
  • Royal Bastard: The result of an affair her mother had with a Unicorn noble (who then left her), Lady Cripps the Pink of the Hyracotherium Republic grew up hating the Kingdom of Unicorns as a whole. Because of this, she enlisted in the Hyracotherium military, eventually becoming a national hero when she led her forces to victory in the Lake Trot Crisis.
  • Ruling Family Massacre: At one point, the royal family of the Unicorns suffered this at the hands of the nobility. However, Princess Platinum's father managed to survive and take the reigns of the kingdom.
  • Sanity Slippage: Platinum suffered from this during the Winter War due to her plans for Unicornia falling apart. Clover had to lock her up in her chambers for her own good and take over the war effort. She broke out in time for the events leading to the Warming, and recovered after the Windigos were defeated.
  • Scars are Forever: Hurricane's body is covered with scars from all the battles he's been in. The only one he bothers hiding (due to its location more than any shame of it) is the one on his scalp from where his mother smacked him on the head with a club.
  • Screw the Rules, I'm Doing What's Right!: Star Burst is left behind with all the other unwanted soldiers when the rest of the Pegasus-dominated military goes to confront Talonhoof's horde. However, realizing that his overconfident superiors will need all the help they can get, he leads his forces out anyway, ending up being the only thing preventing Equestria from being overrun.
  • Secret-Keeper: Prior to Plow Blade's birth, the only pony who knew about Pansy and Trencher's relationship was her friend Shield Skin, who she even got to relay messages for them.
  • Sex Slave: Like the real world gladiators, Hurricane was a slave. However, given the status of males in the Junta, he was also a slave who ranked below every mare, thus he also doubled as this. Provided the mare in question had the proper amount of coin on hoof of course.
  • She Is the King: Platinum. At least, had the Kingdom of Unicorns or Unicornia lasted.
  • Shipper on Deck: While all of the other Founders were well aware of Hurricane and Clover's attraction, Platinum was the most active in helping them get together.
  • Shotgun Wedding: Implied to be the case with Hurricane and Clover, when Twinkle is said to have been a surprisingly large and healthy filly for being born five months premature
  • Shout-Out: Several, and not just to famous instances from real life history.
    Sullamander: "*paces before the Chiefs* …IS THERE NO MARE IN CELESTINE THAT HAS NOT SLEPT WITH HURRICANE?! Take them out! I will decide what to do with them later! And bring me Hurricane!
  • Shown Their Work: If you know a little history, you'll find that several real life historical figures and nations get referenced quite seamlessly.
    • Subverted with Luna's Foreword: K9 tried to make the text as close to Middle English as possible. While there are certainly elements of it and a close feel, no scholar would call it 100% accurate.
  • Silk Hiding Steel: Platinum hides her massive ovaries of steel under childishly ditzy silk with only Star Swirl, King Aurum, Velvet Hooves and Smart Cookie being the wiser.
  • Silver Fox: Commander Hurricane was pushing fifty during Hearth's Warming and still getting all the mares of the Celestine Junta, and married Clover, who was less than half his age when he was almost sixty. Nothing is said either way, but considering the above, he must have aged gracefully.
  • Sophisticated as Hell: When Hurricane demanded Trencher be handed over to him, Puddinghead responded with a formal letter that ended with a crude message and cruder drawing mocking the interracial couple.
    • Then there's the author's (that is to say, Twilight's) explanation of how Puddinghead contributed to The Shouting Congress' failure.
    "Puddinghead was mother-bucking insane."
  • The Spymaster: Platinum set up and personally ran a spy network that monitored every noble, their families, and their servants in the Kingdom of Unicorns. And this network continued to operate during the formation of Equestria, at least up until Platinum's death.
    • That said, the actual title of Spymaster went to her Number Two stallion, Velvet Hooves.
  • Subordinate Excuse: It's speculated that the only reason Sullamander got the job of Mareinus' Second-In-Command, despite being militarily incompetent, is that they may have been lovers.
    • The whole of the Celestine Junta's military had institutionalized this: An officer could choose Stallions from under her command for comfort. The stallion would be rewarded for strong foals born from such unions, especially if a filly was conceived. However, Mareinus and Sullamander's situation was…Unique.
  • Thanatos Gambit: Platinum's death was one of these. With no heir, all her wealth went to the State, and out of the hooves of the remaining unicorn nobles. Dealing them a blow that they were highly unlikely to recover from.
  • Theme Naming
    • The Unicorn Royal family, who are by and large named after the Platinum Element Family. (Aurum and Argentum are just outside the group, being Latin for gold and silver.)
    • In keeping with the food-stuffs theme of Earth Ponies (Smart Cookie, Puddinghead), Pansy's lover/husband is named Trencher, after a Medieval predecessor to the plate made from stale bread.
      • And Lady Cripps the Pink was named after the Cripps Pink, much more commonly known as the Pink Lady apple.
    • Puddinghead's family members were named after relatives of Emperor Caligula. For example, her father was named Germination (Germanicus), and her mother was named Apricot (Agrippina).
  • This Is Gonna Suck: Germination's reaction to Puddinghead being made chancellor.
  • Time to Step Up, Commander: Due to Platinum's Sanity Slippage, Clover was forced to take over leading the war effort, something she was never trained for. She did surprisingly well for herself.
  • Too Dumb to Fool: Princess Platinum. Or at least that's what she likes the Nobles to assume.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Roughly half of the Unicorn nobility stayed behind when the river valley was evacuated because they couldn't stand the thought of abandoning their hordes of treasure. They all naturally froze to death.
    • Star Saber's little group of thirty who tried to counter-revolt against Hurricane failed because they tried to steal weapons from an empty armory... which was positioned next to an active mess hall... in the middle of the day. Hurricane found this hilarious.
  • Tranquil Fury: Hurricane, upon finding out that the father of Pansy's child is an Earth Pony.
  • Troubled, but Cute: Hurricane, in his youth.
  • Undignified Death:
    • Puddinghead died in the middle of a foolish dare to drink a gallon of cider while swallowing a goldfish atop a flagpole. She ended up falling off and breaking her neck, with nopony noticing she was dead for hours.
    • As far as history knows, Princess Platinum died in a spelunking accident.
    • And Platinum's mother, Queen Argentum, died from bleeding out after being bitten by her cat.
    • A side-story has a Unicorn noble who is stabbed in the neck by his son's Pegasus lover, dumped in a rubbish heap and not remotely mourned by his wife, who was furious that he disowned their daughter for marrying an Earth Pony, which meant she didn't get to meet her grandfoals.
    • The sole casualty of the Hyracotherium army during the Lake Trot crisis was someone who choked on a sandwich.
  • Vestigial Empire: Both the Mongrellian Horde and the Griffin Empire by the time of Hearth's Warming. Talonhoof later seized control of both and combined them to create something even larger than the original of either.
  • Villainous Breakdown: Sullamander loses her mind by the time of the Lake Trot Crisis.
    • Viscount Arsenic had one during the Lake Trot Crisis, as his forces got curbstomped by the Hyracotherium army under Lady Cripps.
  • The Virus: Every Windigo used to be a pony who was infected with a parasite that fed on their hatred until growing strong enough to take over and transform their body.
  • Walking the Earth: Star-Swirl did this for over a century.
  • War Is Hell: By the time of the Warming, soldiers from all three tribes were already ready to call a truce, due to a combination of this trope and the extreme winter brought on by the Windigos.
  • Wizards Live Longer: Star-Swirl the Bearded was around for 187 years (already an elderly stallion when he first walked onto the World Stage), and even then he didn't die, he just went somewhere else.
  • Would Hurt a Child:
    • The Unicorn nobles who attacked then Prince Aurum's family killed the foals as well, and chased him down in order to finish him off. Luckily Star-Swirl the Bearded intervened.
    • Talonhoof. He spends almost an hour beating a foal, not caring that she's dead, and enjoys it.
  • Written by the Winners: Hurricane had only the barest records of his mother's failed counter-coup kept intact, and stored them in a hard to find location, thus denying her even the infamy of being a rebel.
  • Xanatos Gambit: General Wind Whistler's ploy to get two other members of the Chiefs-of-Staff on her side. Lampshaded and title dropped by her daughter Pansy.
  • You Are in Command Now:
    • General Downpour's last act before committing suicide was to put her adjunct Major Wind Tailor in charge.
    • Happens to Lieutenant-Major Star Burst after Talonhoof's armies wipe out another opposing force.
  • Youth Is Wasted on the Dumb: What put, and kept, Puddinghead in power.

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