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Played By: Alexa Vega
"Why, oh why, are my genetics such a bitch?"A 17-year-old girl confined to her room due to the alleged blood disorder she inherited from her mother. She is the film's primary protagonist, who dreams of existing in the world outside of her bedroom, which she considers her prison. While she initially strives to obey her father's rules about never going outside, later in the story, she becomes more and more assertive, attempting to earn her independence.
- Bald Women: An early scene shows that her dark hair is a wig, her illness presumably having caused her to lose her hair.
- Bare Your Midriff: In "Seventeen".
- Break the Cutie: Rotti tests her to her breaking point.
- Broken Pedestal: Granted she never had the healthiest relationship with Nate, but upon finding out that he's the Repo Man, Shilo takes it rather badly.Don't help me anymore dad!You are dead dadIn my eyes!Someone has replaced youDad I hate youGO AND DIE!
- Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: She is sickly pale from her disease.
- Emo Teen: Her song "Seventeen" highlights this heavily.
- Foreshadowing: The revelation that her mother didn't die from a blood disease is the first indication that something else is making her sick.
- Ill Girl: She has a mysterious disease that confines her to her home. Subverted; her symptoms of illness come from her father poisoning her.
- The Ingenue: She is heavily sheltered and unaware of what the world is like. Needless to say, her meetings with Graverobber are a bit of a shock to her.
- Littlest Cancer Patient: Older than the typical example of that trope, and technically isn't suffering from cancer in fact, she's perfectly healthy but the imagery of the trope certainly is invoked in the scene we see her without her wig, in her sickbed, behind plastic drapes, wearing a hospital gown-esque nightie.
- Missing Mom: Her mother, Marni, died when Shilo was born.
- Morality Chain: It's implied Shilo is all that's stopping Nathan from taking on the sociopathic Repo Man persona full-time.
Then let the father dieAnd let the monster RISE!
- Indeed, upon deciding that he failed Shilo, caused her to abandon him and drove her into Rotti's thrall, he declares...well, this:
- Naïve Newcomer: Her confinement means she has no idea how the world works.
- Shrinking Violet: Has shades of this.
- Soap Opera Disease: She has a condition that is never named. Probably because it doesn't exist.
- Strong Family Resemblance: She apparently takes after her mother.
- Supporting Protagonist: The story is really about Nathan and Rotti; most of her plotline sends her back and forth between them.
- Teens Are Short: A full head shorter than anyone else in the main cast, including the women, even though at 17 she should be full-grown. Possibly because Nathan's been poisoning her most of her life?
- Zettai Ryouiki: Wears some at several points, notably during the "Seventeen" fantasy sequence.
Played By: Anthony Stewart Head
"I'm the monster. I'm the villain. What perfection. What precision! Keen incisions, I deliver. Unscathed organs, I deliver. Repossession, I deliver. I'm the Repo! Legal Assassin!"Shilo's father and a widower, having lost his wife Marni, a death which he blames himself for. He doubles as the head Repo Man. He often laments his late night duties, but a seeming multiple personality tends to take him over, leaving him a vicious killing machine as opposed to the kind hearted, torn father.
- Abusive Parents: Played with; he had the best of intentions and after his wife's traumatic death he genuinely wanted Shilo safe. That doesn't change the fact that he accomplished this by locking her away from the outside world, stunting her maturity and poisoning her to keep up the illusion that she's an Ill Girl.
- Ax-Crazy: As the Repo Man, Nathan appears to forget that the people he's vivisecting are human.
- Badass Bookworm: He is a doctor, after all.
- Badass Baritone: See Evil Sounds Deep below.
- Beware the Nice Ones: A sweet and loving father... who removes people's organs for pay.
- The Caretaker: To Shilo.
- Consummate Liar: Lies about Shilo's condition her whole life, as well as his work
- Deadly Doctor: He repossesses organs that people haven't paid for. He cares about the organs, so will use clean gloves and relevant scalpels. No anesthesia, transfusions, or replacements, though—good luck surviving without a spine.
- The Dreaded: The entire introduction goes over how everyone lives in fear of (knowingly or not) missing a payment and being hunted down by the Repo Man.
- Evil Debt Collector: If you fall behind on your organ payments
- Evil Sounds Deep: Particularly interesting in that his voice gets much deeper and more gravelly when he's in Repo Man mode. In "Night Surgeon", he switches rapidly between the two personalities, and you can hear it in his voice.
- Go Out with a Smile: Dies having made peace with Shilo.
- Hearing Voices: Implied during "Legal Assassin" (especially in the soundtrack version) and "Let The Monster Rise."
- Hitman with a Heart: Kills people for a living, but loves his daughter.
- I Let Gwen Stacy Die: His wife, Marni.
- It's All My Fault: Blames himself for his wife's death.
- Jekyll & Hyde: Nathan and the Repo Man.
- Knife Nut: How he removes organs as the Repo Man.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Failing to save his wife, his Repo Man activities, and his poisoning of Shilo.
- My Greatest Failure: Part of the reason Nathan is such a crazypants is because he was a doctor before he became a Repo Man, and was responsible for his wife's death. Or so he thinks.
- Overprotective Dad: To the point of poisoning his daughter to confine her to their home
- Papa Wolf: Oh yeah. Even in Repo Man mode.Nathan: (in Repo Man voice) Touch her and I swear I'll KILL you!
- Psycho for Hire: If you miss an organ payment, the Repo Man comes after you and kills you.
- Psychopathic Manchild: His Repo Man persona appears to be one. Played for Black Comedy in "Thankless Job".
- Punch Clock Villain: In his off hours, he is a loving and doting father.
- Redemption Equals Death: Reconciles with Shilo as he lays dying.
- Slasher Smile: He quite often has one when the Repo Man personality is in control.
- Superpowered Evil Side: The Repo Man seems to be very strong.
- Sympathetic Murderer: Was forced into it by Rotti's manipulation
- Then Let Me Be Evil: When Shilo rejects him.
- Villain Song: He has several, including "Let the Monster Rise" and "Legal Assassin".
- Woobie Destroyer of Worlds: He takes the Repo Man job so that he can keep himself and his daughter fed and clothed, and he appears to be genuinely mentally ill, given his shrine to Marni and how possessive he is of Shilo. He also kills a lot of people as the Repo Man.
Played By: Sarah Power & Nancy LongNathan's deceased wife and Shilo's mother. She was Rotti's fiancee but then left him for Nathan; jealous, Rotti poisoned her and framed Nathan for the crime.
- Ambiguous Situation: How much did she love Rotti while they were dating? How much did she know about his true character before she died? And why did she leave him for Nathan so quickly? Was she just using him to get a free eye surgery for her best friend then dumped him after it was done? Did she start to realize what he really was (as a scene of them arguing during "Gold" implies) and tried to get out while she still could? Did she genuinely love him but loved Nathan more? Who knows?
- The Lost Lenore: To Nathan, Rotti, and Mag.
- Manipulative Bitch: We never get a lot of details about Marni's backstory, but just based on what we do get, she can come off this way. After all, she sweet-talks Rotti into helping her friend and then dumps him for Nathan pretty soon after... Still, considering Rotti had either killed or ordered the deaths of each of the mothers of his three children, can you blame Marni for wanting to get out while she still had a chance?
- Missing Mom: To Shilo.
- Posthumous Character: The only time we see Marni is in flashbacks, where we find out she interacted with most members of the main cast.
Rottismo ‘Rotti’ Largo
Played By: Paul Sorvino
"Flesh is weak. Blood is cheap. Inconsistent…consistently. Use your sense. Save your cents. The only thing with persistence is gold!"The ailing GeneCo president, looking for a worthy heir. He sees his own children, Luigi, Pavi, and Amber (formerly Carmela/Heather), as "vultures" and "ingrates", and is bitter towards Nathan for stealing Marni from him. He is the one who poisoned Marni, in rage.
- Abusive Parents: Emotionally abuses his children.
- All for Nothing: His elaborate, movie-long plan to have Shilo kill her father in exchange for [GeneCo] turns out to be all for naught when she refuses to pull the trigger.
- Bad Samaritan: Offers to cure his girlfriend's best friend's blindness and make her a star, but sneaks into her contract that she can't leave if she doesn't want to get killed.
- On a global scale, he portrays his company as a philanthropic institution that offers life-saving organs to countless people who desperately need it, but includes an itty bitty little catch in their contracts that if they're late on a single payment, they'll get horrifically butchered alive by his Repo Men.
- Big Bad: His murder of Marni kickstarted the film's central conflict and his hatred of Nathan, desire to make Shiloh his new heiress and abuse of Mag drive the film's plot.
- The Bluebeard: Word of God says he was a serial dater and killer of all his previous wives, which explains why all three of his children have different mothers and none of them are around.
- The Casanova: In his younger days; all three of his children have different mothers.
- The Chessmaster: Sets up Nathan by poisoning Marni.
- Consummate Liar: Lies about how Marni died.
- Control Freak: Implied. He keeps an iron grip on the entire Wallace family, and Blind Mag. Whenever someone refuses an order (like Mag quitting, or Nathan refusing to kill Mag), he does not take it well.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: Has his customers killed if they can't pay—and it's totally legal; he's made certain of it. And most of the plot of the movie is him trying to lure Shilo into being his protege, as a fuck-you to his kids and to Nathan.
- Dark Messiah: Portrayed as a saviour to the human race after the organ failure epidemic, despite his being a Corrupt Corporate Executive.
- Do Wrong, Right: The reason he hates his children - he doesn't care that they are psychopathic assholes, he is bothered by the fact they are lazy and stupid failures who obviously will lead GeneCo to downfall.
- Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: It never occurs to Rotti that Shilo might refuse to disown and kill her father in exchange for inheriting [GeneCo], since Rotti himself doesn't value life, and gladly kills anyone for money and spite.
- Evil Laugh: The song "Rotti's Story" includes one.
- Faux Affably Evil: He very politely invites Shilo into his limo and to nice parties; he even offers her a job! But no one is allowed to say no, and when you get right down to it, all his external niceness a skin deep mask for his hate and selfishness. Justified given his job—he has to be nice, or else no one will trust his business.
- Irony: A serial dater and killer of women who has forgotten all his previous wives remains fixated on one woman for years, because she left him first.
- Incurable Cough of Death: What he's dying of.
- Manipulative Bastard: To everyone.
- Meaningful Name: He is Rotten.
- Names to Run Away from Really Fast: Given the musical motifs, chances are good that we're meant to take "largo" by its musical definition. Meaning his name means, roughly, "slow rot". You know. Like the organ failure epidemic. The one he's profiting off of and encouraging.
- Never My Fault: A particularly despicable case of this trope, he gladly blames Marni for her own death when he was the one who murdered her.Rotti: It's been difficult to see you after what you put me through
You forced my hand and made me do!
- Also regarding his children. Three different children from three different mothers who all turned out petty, selfish, greedy, and surgery-addicted. The common denominator is him. Yet he blames their genes and intends to dump them for Shiloh, who only turned out decent because she was raised by someone else.
- The Resenter: His bitterness about losing Marni sets everything in motion.
- Self-Made Man: Claims to be this in Gold.
- Self-Serving Memory: He claims he was the perfect boyfriend and that Marni's elopement with Nathan blindsided him, but according to Word of God he was a serial dater and killer of many wives (whom Marnie most likely would have joined had they stayed together), some flashback scenes in "Gold" implies that their relationship had problems before she left (as there's a scene of her screaming at Rotti over something he thinks is no big deal—perhaps Mag's contract?), and he did enslave her best friend with a sneaky contract while they were dating. Given his Never My Fault mentality, it's hard to tell how much of his version of their breakup holds up.
- Serial Killer: He killed his wives, or had them killed.
- Seven Deadly Sins: Envy and Greed, according to Word of God.
- Shoot the Messenger: When a doctor tells him there's nothing they can do to cure his illness, he has the doctor shot.
- Villain Song: "Things You See in a Graveyard" and "Gold".
- Villain with Good Publicity: The PR campaign praising the company and its organ repossession policy is seem repeatedly during the film.
- Why Did You Make Me Hit You?: Taking this trope to the logical extreme, he flat out blames Marni for her own murder at his hands, rationalizing that he would never have done it if she hadn't left him for Nathan.
- Wicked Cultured: Say what you will about his morals—he sponsors a rather fantastic opera.
Played By: Bill Moseley
"Luigi don't take shit from no one!"Rotti's eldest son and Pavi and Amber's homicidal, older brother. He usually wears an ascot, wields a knife at all times, and is always willing to stab someone for something as little as getting his shirt messy or getting him poorly-made coffee.
- Alliterative Name: Two Ls.
- Ax-Crazy: Prone to killing people over minor things, like getting his coffee wrong.
- Brother-Sister Incest: There’s an implied attraction between him and Amber, maybe more pronounced on Amber’s part.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Surprisingly, he’s the one who shows most emotion over Rotti’s death.
- Even Evil Has Standards: He does seem to have moral standards, just none of the self-control to act on said standards.
- He’s pretty horrified by seeing the Repo Man work first-hand. During "Night Surgeon", at the end he looks slightly disgusted, looking at the new corpse with a look of disbelief. Maybe because he's never this violent with his murders?
- During Who Ordered Pizza?, there's a shot of him, Pavi, and Amber looking at Rotti with disapproval over making Nathan remember Marni's death.
- He's visibly disgusted when he notices Pavi glancing at Shilo in a... less than savory way. In fact, as soon as Pavi starts moving in on Shilo, Luigi quickly ushers her to the other side of the stage to get away from him.
- When Mag catches him stabbing a man for bringing him a less than satisfactory cup of coffee and tells him to stop, he does so and has the decency to look at least a little bit ashamed.
- Freudian Excuse: Shares this with all his siblings - He is his father's son, and that'd probably screw up anyone.
- Good Scars, Evil Scars: Luigi has a variety of scars all over his body, gotten in surgeries to give him the best organs—making this an interesting case of scars the audience probably sees as Evil Scars, but in-universe are quite possibly Good Scars.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: Don't bring him bad coffee. Or trip near him. Or catch his attention when he's worked up. Or... y'know, it's really not that surprising that the Genterns tend to hang around Pavi more than Luigi.
- Hot-Blooded: He shouts, he threatens, he stabs. Over coffee.
- Inadequate Inheritor: In Rotti's eyes.
- Knife Nut: Seems to prefer stabbing to other methods of harm.
- Mood-Swinger: Towards the end, Luigi goes from furiously shouting threats to a crowd to suddenly crying over his departed dad in a matter of seconds.
- Plucky Comic Relief: During "Mark It Up".
- Psychopathic Manchild: He stabs a variety of people, but never appears to react to them as more than broken toys, even when one is drowning in her own blood at his feet.
- Seven Deadly Sins: Wrath, according to Word of God.
- The Unfavorite: To quote his actor:Bill Moseley: "Yeah, there's a lot of inner conflict. It's about pleasing a father who has already made up his mind about him. When you're considered the family fuck-up or one of the family fuck-ups, there's really nothing you can do. So what you end up doing is trying harder not to be a fuck-up, and of course that makes you more of a fuck-up. I think at this point, Luigi is really pissed off."
- "Well Done, Son!" Guy: See above. "Mark It Up" also implies that, of all Rotti's children, Luigi is the most desperate to please his father, and is the most heart-broken after he dies.
Paviche ‘Pavi’ Largo
Played By: Nivek Ogre
"Pavi's face will rule them all!"Rotti's youngest son and middle child. Womanizing, narcissistic, vacuous, and effeminate, he wears the skinned face of a woman as a mask over his own, which is heavily scarred. Due to the way his face is attached, he is able to change faces on a whim. He has an Italian accent (to conceal his speech impediment, according to Zdunich) and is almost always surrounded by women, usually Genterns, the employees of GeneCo, who usually give Pavi his face surgeries.
- Affably Evil: Probably the most polite member of the Largo family...though that's not saying much.
- The Brainless Beauty: In a family that's obsessed with looking good even by their culture's standards, Pavi stands out as vain. He also looks like the only one who doesn't even consider what happens after Rotti dies.
- Beware The Slightly Less Evil Ones: Looks over the murder with an almost satisfied expression during "Night Surgeon", when even Luigi looks a little shocked. Also, when he's taunting the victim, his voice gets scratchier and deeper as he gets more violent.
- Acts so creepy when he first meets Shilo, that Luigi actually steers her away from him.
- Black Comedy Rape: Word of God tells us that Pavi is a rapist, so chances are quite a few of those ridiculously over-the-top scenes where Gentern fawn over/have sex with him are probably this.
- Camp Straight: Camp mannerisms combined with a love of women.
- Depraved Bisexual: Not shown in the film, but according to Word of God.
- Effeminate Misogynistic Guy: Uses women for sex and their faces.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Sounds more comforting than taunting when he tells Nathan he can reunite Mag and Marni by killing the former; then him, Luigi and Amber all look at Rotti with what appears to be disapproval when he reminds Nathan of Marni's death.
- Facial Horror: On two levels. Firstly, he wears a woman's severed face. Secondly, underneath that, he looks like Freddy Krueger.
- Giggling Villain: In contrast to Luigi, who is always yelling.
- Handsome Lech: By Repo! standards, he's this—surgery is considered attractive, so his... face... makes him look good, and he flirts with just about everyone.
- Inadequate Inheritor: In his father's eyes.
- Informed Flaw: Pavi's status as a rapist. A particularly odd case, in that (a) it's not even informed from the film itself, but rather from the promotional materials, and (b) it's not like there was a shortage of evidence that Pavi is a freak beforehand.
- Kavorka Man: Claims to leave the Gentern's "panties dripping."
- Psycho Supporter: May (or may not, considering Luigi) be the most depraved of Rotti's children.
- Seven Deadly Sins: Lust and Pride, according to Word of God.
- Offstage Villainy: We arguably see the results of such, as it's hard to imagine his face masks come from willing donors.
- Also his status as a rapist, as most of the women he courts appear to be completely consenting. Although there is the way he looks at Shilo in that one scene...
- Plucky Comic Relief: During "Mark It Up."
- Sissy Villain: Appears weak compared to his brother's over the top physicality.
- Third-Person Person: Refers to himself in such.
Amber Sweet (formerly Carmela Largo)
Played By: Paris Hilton
"So you think Mag has pipes? Well it's my time to shine! When the Repo-Man strikes!"Rotti's only daughter. Luigi and Pavi's younger sister, she is addicted to both surgery and Zydrate, which she obtains illegally from GraveRobber, in exchange for sex. She changed her last name from Largo to Sweet, as she "needed a stage name".
- All Girls Want Bad Boys: Has a thing for the Graverobber.
- All Take and No Give: How she treats everyone. Even called out for this by Rotti.
- Ambiguously Bi: She sleeps with the Graverobber and is implied to tap the Genterns.
- Awesome Moment of Crowning: When she takes over the company.
- Bastard Understudy: At the end of the movie, she gets complete control of the company by ignoring her father's will and knowing no one will question her.
- Technically, he never signed the will. So it would be as if he never had a will or the previous one would count instead.
- Brother-Sister Incest: She seductively licks Luigi’s face after she attacks him.
- Drama Queen: Subverted. When she throws a dramatic tantrum about being "surgically maimed" just before the opera Rotti thinks she's just being dramatic... until he sees her face, and almost succumbs to his Soap Opera Disease on the spot.
- Even Evil Has Standards: As noted above, she does not approve of Rotti reminding Nathan of Marni's death. She also does not help the rest of her family goad Nathan into a killing frenzy during "Night Surgeon".
- Fair Weather Friend: When she sees her terminally ill father go into a coughing fit she acts concerned just long enough for him to agree to fix her face for the Opera, then promptly does a Skip of Innocence off to her new surgery. Rotti immediately lampshades this.Rotti: Flesh is weak.
Blood is cheap.
- Functional Addict: Compared to most other "scalpel sluts," she has her surgery addiction together just enough to appear functional for the public... when she bothers to show up.
- Hidden Depths: Amber may be a self destructive Rich Bitch, but she is one of the only children who seems to notice her dad is growing ill and seem genuinely concerned for him. And it appears she might just be a capable ruler of Geneco after all.
- Irony: The creator of the Zydrate Support Network is so hooked on surgery and zydrate that she misses a press conference to buy street juice.
- Not-So-Harmless Villain: For most the movie, Amber primarily only throws temper tantrums and does some drugs, leaving her as the least dangerous antagonist by a large margin..... until she single-handedly takes over GeneCo after Rotti's death and manages to take control of her brothers.
- Rich Bitch: She is most definitely rich, and acts like she's entitled to anything she wants because of it.
- Hollywood Tone-Deaf: Briefly in the movie during "Blame Not My Cheeks".
- Seven Deadly Sins: Sloth and Gluttony, according to Word of God.
- Sex for Services: "Zydrate Anatomy" implies that she sometimes sleeps with the Grave Robber for Zydrate. The deleted song "Can't Get It Up If The Girl's Breathing?" does away with the subtext and shows her doing just that.
- Skip of Innocence: At the start of Gold, she skips off like a schoolgirl to her new surgery. However, considering she does this just after disregarding the well-being of her terminally ill father, the "innocence" just serves to highlight her immaturity and selfishness.
- Stripperiffic: Her outfit during "Zydrate Anatomy".
- Tear Off Your Face: During her stage performance, her face falls off. DJ Granny keeps the music going.
- The Vamp: Plays this up during "Zydrate Anatomy".
Magdalene ‘Blind Mag’ Defoe
Played By: Sarah Brightman
"These eyes can do more than see."Shilo's godmother and Marni's best friend. She was born blind, but was given the ability to see by GeneCo at the price of having to sing for and publicize GeneCo permanently. She is marked for repossession and is set to deliver her final performance for the company.
- Animal Motifs: She is a Broken Bird kept in a Gilded Cage where she's forced to always sing for her masters. For her final song, she dresses in a feathered corset with metal talons on her fingertips, sings about a bird snared by a hunter's arrow, and gouges her own eyes out with her finger talons to free herself.
- Better to Die than Be Killed: Defies Rotti repeatedly, including ripping out her own eyes rather than wait for the Repo Man, knowing it can not end well for her.
- Bilingual Bonus: Her final song, "Chromaggia," is a stealth confession to the world of what Rotti did to her. The lyrics detail a bird that fled a hunter thinking she escaped, only to realize his arrow was lodged in her wing. Tired of fleeing and seeing others get hurt because of her, the bird decides to face the danger, and concludes:Mag: (in Italian) Down! Into the Devil's jaws!
His arrow, my eyes.
(in English) Come take these eyes!
I would rather be blind!
- Broken Bird: She lost her best friend and her goddaughter, was trapped into working for the corrupt Rotti Largo, and knows she's going to die by the Repo Man's hand.
- Driven to Suicide: Blind Mag chooses to leave GeneCo, knowing this will mean her death; at the end, she snaps and tears out her own eyes on stage, forcing Rotti to kill her, rather than waiting to be hunted down like a dog by the Repo Men.
- Eerie Pale-Skinned Brunette: Manages to be even paler than sickly Shilo.
- Eye Scream: Tears out her eyes herself, rather than wait for a Repo Man to come for her.
- Face Death with Dignity: Instigates her death in front of a live audience, rather than wait for it to come for her.
- Gilded Cage: Her service to Rotti gives her fame, money, "the perfect life"... as long as she never leaves or defies him.
- My Greatest Failure: Letting Rotti hook his talons into her with her eye surgery. After she learns Shilo is alive, she has added guilt for not having been in Shilo's life.
- Only Sane Woman: Probably the only character in the cast without any major dysfunction. You heard that correctly; the woman who rips out her eyes with her finger nails is the sanest character in this film.
- What the Hell, Hero?: Calls Nathan out for keeping Shilo hidden from her and the world.
- Wingding Eyes: Her mechanical eyes do this.
Played By: Terrance Zdunich
"It's quick, it's clean, and it's pure. It could change your life, rest assured. It's the 21st Century Cure! And it's my job, to steal and rob... GRAVES!"A Zydrate peddler who obtains the insoluble chemical from corpses and has connections to Amber, both sexually and as a dealer. He also seems to be Shilo's first and only friend, and explains Zydrate and Mag's debt with GeneCo to her. Mysterious and charismatic, he acts as the narrator of the post-apocalyptic world.
- The Aggressive Drug Dealer: Well... sort-of passive-aggressive...
- All-Knowing Singing Narrator: How does he know exactly what happens, even in scenes he's not in? Well, someone needs to sing about it!
- Barbarian Long Hair: combined with Multicolored Hair and Dreadlock Rasta.
- Chivalrous Pervert: He's implied to sleep with many of his zydrate clients, though only when they're offering. It's implied that he also likes Shilo, but never takes advantage of her when she's lost and away from home, and helps her avoid Rotti's GeneCops to get home.
- Deadpan Snarker: He just loves to tease people, and knows about the darkest secrets of the underground, and mocks them.
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": His given name is never revealed.
- Flirting Under Fire: Word of God is he alerted the GeneCops to his presence during "21st Century Cure" because he thought Shilo was cute and was showing off to her, but she was too scared witless to notice.
- Genre Savvy: As the narrator, knows more than the others about what's going on.
- Greek Chorus: Acts as narrator and explains the world to us.
- Handsome Lech: Flirts with Shilo, Amber and his many female customers.
- High-Class Glass: He briefly uses a monocle during "Zydrate Anatomy".
- I Love the Dead: Averted. He robs graves, but prefers living women to the corpses he plunders. Though Amber Sweet does taunt him about the rumors in the aptly named song, "Can't Get it Up if the Girl's Breathing?"
- Large Ham: "And it's my job/ To steal and rob/ GRAAAAAAAAAAAAVES!"
- Lecherous Licking: He licks Amber's neck in "Come Up and Try My New Parts".
- Loveable Rogue: A nice guy, even if he is a drug dealer.
- Mr. Exposition: Why are so many people getting surgeries? He'll explain it to you.
Played By: Jake Reardon
"I needed a kidney transplant desperately. GeneCo showed this single mom sympathy."