My life's full of babes and bullets
No time to lay back and cool it
I've got clues and claws
Right here in my paws
Nothing to do... but do it
No time to lay back and cool it
I've got clues and claws
Right here in my paws
Nothing to do... but do it
— Theme song
Garfield's Babes and Bullets is a 1989 animated special starring Garfield. Based on a story from Garfield: His 9 Lives, the special sees Garfield as second-rate private eye Sam Spayed attempting to solve a murder mystery.
My life's full of tropes and bullets
- 555: Babes And Bullets uses the "KLondike 5" variation: Tanya's phone number is KLondike5-1234 (555-1234).
- Adaptational Job Change: O'Tabby and O'Felix have different professions in this adaptation. While they were Greek Orthodox priests in the book, here they are university professors.
- Adaptation Species Change: In the original prose story of Babes and Bullets that was featured in Garfield: His 9 Lives, all of the characters are cats. In the animated special (which was separate from the adaptation of His 9 Lives), everyone else is human with only Garfield remaining a cat. This is never remarked on, even by his love interests.
- Betty and Veronica Switch: Sam Spayed is torn between his client Tanya, whom he profiles as The Vamp who probably killed her husband, and Kitty, his Nice Girl of a secretary. It's revealed that Tanya was faithful to her husband while he was alive, and Kitty was tempted to lure Professor O'Tabby away from Tanya because she loved him, though she ultimately didn't go through with it. At the end, Tanya tells Sam any romantic relationship between them won't work, and Kitty seduces the detective with milk.
- Bittersweet Ending: Sam solves the murder and gets a check that will cover the rent for his office, but Tanya turns him down because she's still grieving her husband. Kitty is also grieving Professor O'Tabby but decides to cuddle with Sam for comfort. He's fine with that.
- Bowdlerization: In the His 9 Lives version, when Spayed gets hot coffee spilled on him, he exclaims, "Damn it! That's hot!" Here it's changed to, "Gosh, that's hot!"
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: At the very end, Jon interrupts the fantasy, asking "What are you doing in there?". Garfield responds "Getting ready to roll the end credits" and closes the door.
- The Cameo: By virtue of the story, Jon (who only appears at the very end when he finds Garfield fantasizing in the closet.
- Chekhov's Gunman: Woman rather. Sam Spayed mentions he hired his secretary a day before the story starts because Kitty makes good coffee. Kitty worked for Professor O'Tabby, it turns out, and quit because she loved him but knew he loved his wife and would never leave Tanya. She didn't kill Professor O'Tabby, but she provides the crucial evidence that leads Sam to the murderer.
- Cranky Landlord: The big guy who chases Sam turns out to be his landlord, who wants unpaid back rent.
- Dame with a Case: The plot is kickstarted when a woman named Tanya O'Tabby hires Sam Spayed to investigate her husband's murder. She's so beautiful that Spayed's Private Eye Monologue is initially distracted with flowery descriptions, and when on the case, he posits that she's probably the Femme Fatale type who murdered her husband. In fact, Sam initially suspects either: 1. that she married an old man that she then bumps off to inherit the fortune. Or 2. her husband was a ladies man whom she snuffed when she found out he was unfaithful.)
- Deliberately Monochrome: Due to the special's film noir style, the entire fantasy sequence is done this way.
- Did They or Didn't They?: It's heavily implied that Spayed got laid. Twice. BY HUMAN WOMEN. It starts when in typical Film Noir style, the sexy female client invites Sam Spayed to "have a little milk with her", and he reacts much as if she'd invited him in for coffee. At the end, his secretary picks up a pair of glasses and a bottle of milk, sashaying into Sam's office while throwing a few Fanservice poses, inducing an "oh wow" reaction from Sam.
- Dramatic Drop: Kitty spills coffee all over Sam when she overhears his phone call about Professor O'Tabby possibly being in love with another woman. It clues in Spayed that she knows something about the O'Tabbys.
- Driven by Envy: This is O'Felix's motive for killing O'Tabby. He grew so jealous of his former student that the only way to get his position in the university was to murder him.Sam Spayed: It was the old 'power struggle in the university' routine. Old man gets passed over by younger man. Young man gets power, respect, glory. Old man gets older, bitter. Finally, in desperation, the old man gets rid of the one thing in his way: the young man. With O'Tabby gone, O'Felix becomes department head and gets what has eluded him all his life.
- Fair-Play Whodunnit: A viewer can figure out the mystery with some thinking once Kitty gives Sam some important information. Kitty mentions that O'Tabby was an insomniac so, in addition to her making coffee for him, she would also fill out his prescriptions for sleeping pills. It contradicts O'Felix and the police saying he fell asleep at the wheel due to exhaustion.
- Fell Asleep Driving: Professor O'Tabby's death came about from him falling asleep while driving on a cliff side road, leading to his car going off the edge of the cliff. The police believe he was simply exhausted, but his wife, Tanya, suspects otherwise, which is why she hires Spayed. Her suspicions are correct, as O'Tabby was actually an insomniac with a coffee addiction. The truth behind his death was that his co-worker Professor O'Felix drugged his coffee with his prescription sleeping pills before he went driving to visit the university’s benefactress, which would force him to fall asleep at the wheel.
- Groin Attack: In one scene, Sam Spayed says on the phone that Tanya's husband might have been tangled up with another woman, and a shocked Kitty responds by dumping a tray's worth of coffee into Sam's lap. After getting up, Sam remarks "That hot coffee in the lap was enough to give a literal meaning to my last name."
- Jaywalking Will Ruin Your Life: Sam Spayed says that Lieutenant Washington's blue boy shot a client in the back for jaywalking.
- The Mourning After: Sam finds himself attracted to Tanya, even while he suspects her of having killed her husband. When he solves the case, she gently lets him down because obviously she is still in mourning, and they are too different. Tanya does pay him handsomely for his time.
- Mr. Imagination: The whole story begins with Garfield entering a closet, donning a hat and coat, and picturing himself as a private detective; it ends with Jon opening the closet, finding him inside and asking what he was doing.
- Ms. Fanservice: Tanya & Kitty, natch.
- My God, What Have I Done?: The real killer is praying for forgiveness when Spayed confronts him. He's almost relieved to have to go to jail.
- Noir Episode: The whole special, which revolves around Garfield imagining himself as an old-style private detective in a black-and-white setting.
- Non-Indicative Name: There are no signs of any bullets in the special, the closest thing to it being bullet holes seen in the picture in the Title Sequence and end credits, along with the mention in an above example that the police shot someone in the back for jaywalking.
- Red Herring: There are many suspicious shots of Tanya watching Sam as he's pursued by a huge tough guy. It turns out these are unrelated — Tanya was watching Sam to make sure he was able to do the job she hired him for... and the big goon was just his landlord looking for back rent.
- Saying Too Much: This is how the killer gets caught. Professor O'Felix mentions that Professor O'Tabby probably fell asleep at the wheel, but Kitty reveals O'Tabby was an insomniac and needed sleeping pills to deal with his caffeine addiction. He only would have been asleep if the sleeping pills had been put into his coffee, and O'Felix was making it after Kitty resigned.
- Scare Chord: Two occur close together when a thug who is actually Sam Spayed's angry landlord looking for rent can be seen spying on Spayed.
- Sexy Secretary: The role Kitty fulfills at Sam's office.
- Shout-Out: Several to Casablanca.
- Slipping a Mickey: How O'Felix killed Professor O'Tabby, by spiking his coffee with sleeping pills.
- Who's on First?: Garfield's alter-ego was named Sam Spayed, which he notes leads to some awkward moments when people ask him if he is, in fact, Spayed.
- Wrong Genre Savvy: When he first meets Tanya, Sam thinks she's the typical Film Noir style Femme Fatale and posits several theories that she killed her husband and is hiring him to take the fall so she can get clean away. However, every time he asks her a question that would confirm one of said theories, it always ends up being wrong. This also occurs in his first meeting with O'Felix, positing a theory that O'Tabby was having an affair with a wealthy widow under the guise of visiting a university benefactress, but that proves wrong after he asks how old the benefactress was.
