Tear Jerker / If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device

The Lamenters living up to their name.

"In the grim darkness of the 42nd Millenium, there can be no victor."

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If the Emperor had a Text to Speech Device

• The Emperor reminiscing Malcador the Sigillite's last words prior to taking his place on the Golden Throne. It's one of the few scenes in the series that is played absolutely seriously.
• During the second Q&A video, when asked if the Sanguinor is Sanguinius, the Emperor is still very clearly heartbroken over his death 10,000 years later and still loves him very much.
  Emperor: I was there when my son died. I saw his body, felt no life from his flesh. Whatever fucking Horus had done to him he could not be brought back. Sniff. If this Sanguinor is really even a fragment of the only one of my children that laid his life down for me, hopefully he knows that Daddy misses him very much. Sniff sniff. Sob.
  • The first question of the second Q&A video is somebody taking a look at the truly awful world around them and being unable to figure out even one singular reason as to why the Emperor would even still care about the nightmare reality that the galaxy has become. Thankfully, it immediately swoops to Heartwarming as the Emperor answers.
• Magnus' flashback. In sequence it is "my brothers pick on me" and "I failed to save my brother Horus, but I can still warn father!" and then at the end, he is shouted at by the Emperor. Even with the comical stuff like Tzeentch's petty bullying, it still rings of Tragic Hero.
  • It gets worse for him in the fourth special where Tzeentch cruelly tricks him into thinking he's contacted the soul of his adoptive father from Prospero for a moment before revealing himself. The way he almost disbelievingly asks if it is his "Pops" makes it clear that he desperately wants a father figure who actually shows him fatherly love.
• Malal's Situation. The Retconnian is effectively a black void of non-existence, where retconned out or in Fucking Horus' case, killed so hard their soul was erased from existence characters are effectively dumped in, with only a Small (on their end) hole to look out into the 40k verse.
• The events of episode 22. Kitten is forced to cede his position as the caretaker and due to malice on Fab Custodes' and Magnus' part, both him and Emperor are now convinced that the other doesn't care for him and is happier without him. Keep in mind the only thing to make the Emperor cry before this was thinking back on Sanguinius and his death.
  • Perhaps the worst part is that, even though he lied about the particulars otherwise Magnus is right. The Emperor really is casually cruel to his own children for little to no reason all the time, and even though he does care about them it is filtered through his all-consuming narcissism.
• Magnus unintentionally killing Vulkan by psychically throwing the Engine of Woes at him in an effort to make him stop hugging him. For one of the few times in the series, Magnus actually sounds distraught.
  Magnus: I DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL HIM!
• Nearly all of the first part of episode 26 is one tearjerker after another
  • In case you didn't get closure for Dominique his appearance at the end of episode 26 part 1 is this as much as it is heartwarming because this time he's finally getting that finality, but it genuinely is the last time we get to see him. His final words are to wish Fyodor a happy new year before Celestine takes him to the afterlife. The final moments of this is set to Fyodor's new theme: Chairbound Prankster, which is itself a melancholy turned triumphant mix of Requiem for Dominique.
    • Horrible people they may have been, but Elirush and Adrielle's deaths are sobering affairs. Elirush dies in sorrow and anger over the death of every Grey Knight under his command, his final desperate bid for revenge being about as effectual as throwing a wet tissue at a hurricane. Adrielle on the other hand spends the entire battle sauced out of her mind, oblivious to what's going on right up until Skarbrand crushes her hard enough to turn her into a small fountain of gore.
    • Donklas is the last surviving member of the Inquisition trio after Elirush and Adrielle meet their fate, and he's clearly broken up about it. While he has never been a good or nice person, him mourning their deaths while spontaneously begging not to die as well in such a horrible place is more than a little sad to listen to. The horror he's seen seems to have broken the man, turning a brave if quite kill-happy Inquisitor into a wreck.
    Donklas: All my friends are dead... I don't want to die in this horrible magical hell...
    • Calato and Wilford's Deathwatch squad don't fare much better, as they're wiped out by Epidemius and his Plaguebearers prompting Wilford to quite literally have to drag Calato to safety while his brother in arms cries out for vengeance.
  • And then you consider why the daemons had even been there, they weren't trying to break through the Gate of Khaine, they wanted revenge for the Inquisition's relentless pranking/marauding.
  • Whilst it's wrapped up in the Awesome and Heartwarming of the Star-Child!Emperor's return, there's the very quiet way that Leman Russ says 'Father?'. It's not confused, as - by his own words - he can already recognize the presence of the Emperor. Instead it's tentative, as if he doesn't dare hope what his senses and his heart are telling him. In this moment, The Wolf King of Fenris, the Primarch of the Vlka Fenryka, the Emperor's Executioner...is just a little boy who has truly missed his dad.
• Episode 27 has Magnus realize that not only did his father know everything he was doing, but that generally he was doing exactly as his father planned the entire time. He's clearly upset to still be a "puppet on a string".
  • Kitten's meeting with the Lockwarden implies that short of the Emperor teasing Kitten with a reel of him being rejected by Commander Shadowsun didn't make him mad because it wasn't canon - he was mad because it did happen, and he just keeps telling himself that it's non-canon to not have to think about it anymore.
• Episode 28 -
  • Magnus is more than "on edge". He is beyond angered or frustrated, and is flat-out despairing of his father finally opening up to him and tell him what is going on. Instead, Emps sends him off to the Black Library with a servant and a pat on the head, just to get him out of the way while he works. The only thing keeping this from being completely emotionally devastating is the possibility that Emps is doing it either because he doesn't want to lock his son up again or to protect him from the returning Corvus and Vulkan. Additionally, Magnus' genuine delight at realizing that the Emperor is actually having him go to the Black Library dulls the pain further.
  • Azrael's Heel Realization is genuinely moving, which makes his Ignored Epiphany tragic instead of funny.
  • When Karstodes mentions the Emperor's wayward sons rejecting him, there is a brief, quiet sprinkle of rain in the throneroom. Something already established to happen, when the Emperor "cries".
  • This happens again, when Dorn mentions that "theoreticals and implementations [were] Guilliman's favourite things". It seems the Emperor doesn't hate Roboute as much as he pretends to.
• Episode 29 -
  • The Star Child and Vect's conversations reveal a lot about why the Dark Eldar are the way they are: they're an entire race of Straw Nihilists. Their empire is gone, their race is dying, and when they go the only thing waiting for them is Slaanesh, and whatever sick, twisted fates it can devise to fill eternity. The entire Drukhari race is utterly miserable, and Vect is no exception. When someone starts treating them with genuine kindness and compassion for the first time in ten millennia, they start literally melting, but at the same time they seem so genuinely happy. Which makes Vect's 180 at the end even more depressing.
  • The reason the Emperor exorcised the Star Child from his soul: because people like Vect exist and won't hesitate to use his affection for his friends and sons against him, as becomes all too apparent when Vect manages, with one sentence, to cause more pain to the Star Child than anything they had tried up to that point—abuse, torture, existential dread, and just the utter despicability of the Drukhari race—and completely turn the situation from a Curbstomp Battle for the Star Child into a massive disadvantage, and the previously unflappable Star-Emperor can do nothing but plead with Vect to let them go while he watches helplessly. It's a sobering reminder that in a Crapsack World like 40k, cutting out his compassion really was the most pragmatic thing the Emperor could do if he wanted to save humanity.
  • Rogal Dorn's unwillingness to reunite with his sons and reveal himself to them despite the fact that the loyalist Primarchs are now starting to return. When the Emperor brings up the possibility that it might be time to return to his sons, he immediately refuses. While he has remained at the Emperor's side out of a need for atonement, and likely has other reasons for why, his unwillingness to reunite with his sons when Corax and Vulkan so readily returned to their own sons is rather disheartening to see.
  • In order to win against The Laughing God, Magnus realizes that his best material to work with within three rounds is self-depreciative. And thus, he mentally prepares a list of over 1000 things that he considers having gone wrong in his life, starting with the moment he was created. As this kind of humor notoriously tears people up inside, and Magnus is a warp entity, it literally starts to kill him the longer he does it. Cegorach and Custodisi crunch the numbers and realize very quickly that despite this, his performance will never actually catch up before he keels over on-stage, and Cegorach, being a schemer and yet, seeing a genuine commitment to his ambitions, is willing to cut a deal more suited to Magnus's abilities in return for calling the match a draw as Custodisi scrambles to sign the contract on Magnus's behalf to save him.
• Episode 30, Part 2 -
  • Kitten arrives at the Noctis Labyrinth, but is ambushed by Cawl's forces and a battle ensues where the Custodes entourage suffers several losses culminating in Kitten's defeat and death to the despair of every Custodes present. The Emperor, having been watching and cheering on the Custodes, completely loses it and lets loose a psychic backlash so significant that it erupts from Holy Terra as if splitting the planet in half. Rogal Dorn attempts to mitigate this by donning his centurion helmet and jumping into the Emperor's lap despite the warp-storm, and seemingly succeeds in reducing it to a solemn rain as he lays distressingly still across the Emperor's lap. Once again, a loyal son of the Emperor has died at the hands of traitors while attempting to rescue his father, another has nearly perished just to please him, and another might be dead due to attempting to rescue the people of Terra. And with TTS going on an indefinite hiatus, this cliffhanger becomes a Downer Ending.
  Alfabusa: "The third part will not be released despite it honestly being quite close to finished. [...]
  [W]ith the situation now, other than needing to focus on starting up new projects and the lack of motivation,
  it also, in a horrible way, felt kind of apt to end it here. Sorry."
  • For all the constant anger and pissed-offitude the Emperor displays throughout the series, he has never gotten so angry that he hasn't been able to control it. Nothing has pissed him of to the point where he nearly destroys Terra... Nothing but the death of his son.
• During the battle, a volley from the Kastellans kills all but one of the Custodes of Squad Epsilon. When the second salvo fires, he doesn't even try to escape the blast, but just kneels in the charred remains of his brothers and sadly declares their vigil to be over.
• Kitten becomes increasingly enraged and distraught as his men fall. He reports Squad Epsilon's death with horrified disbelief, and when Diomedes is obliterated, he loses any semblance of calm. Given that he knows all of them by name, and this is directly after the Custodes praised his abilities as a caretaker and a father figure, the feeling of loss and failure he must be feeling is immense.
• After witnessing Diomedes being killed, Boreale went into a Heroic BSoD before a Custodes told him to snap out of it.

If the Emperor Had a Podcast

Black Templars, Dorn's Angry Boys

• Very minor, but one gets the impression the real reason Dorn cannot help but hate the Black Templars isn't because they're maniacs, but because even today after several thousand years he just cannot get over the incident with Sigismund, when he outright disowned him (on top of Sigismund himself offering his neck for execution as a penance for failing him, which he turned down). And the Black Templars themselves, having stuck closely to Sigismund's teachings, constantly remind him of that moment, to the point where every time you hear him becoming angry at Helbrecht, he's calling him Sigismund.
  Custodisi: Just out of curiosity, could you please inform me as to WHY you are so insistent on not covering the Black Templars?
  [A long beat, as Dorn's seat creaks under uneasy shifting]
  Rogal: ...I am not close to prepared to a meeting with my wayward sons. This is too much to ask of me at this time.
  • And while it might cross the line twice, hearing Boy sobbing after getting a shard of porcelain in his eye from Helbrecht smashing his teacup is awful.

Inquisitor

• In a brief yet shocking moment, Boy mentions casually towards the end of the "podcast" reviewing the novel "Inquisitor" that many of his siblings were sent to work in the pilgrim line, and were all trampled to death. The kicker is the way Decius is shocked by this revelation, letting out a quiet, horrified little "What?" when Boy says this. And before this, Boy mentions that one of his friends was sent to work under the palace on the blood pumps. A place that the book describes as being manned by children suffering from tuberculosis. It's clear that Boy's friend died down there. You can probably expect sweeping conditions to the Palace's work environment after this podcast as Decius is horrified to hear of all of this. Apparently, he was unaware of all of this happening because no one bothered to tell him or the other lords (or the other lords didn't care). You can imagine that he might blame himself for this as he later comes to the realization that he's a privileged bastard because he doesn't even know the name of slum city directly outside the Imperial Palace.
• While it's played for comedy, Karstodes's breakdown over the characters of Harry Potter not being real can be difficult to listen to, especially since it's another indication that he can't read very well and obviously enjoyed the book greatly.

BEHEMOTH

• While it is quite short, the scene immediately after Calgar's duel with the Hive Tyrant in the second part of BEHEMOTH is painful. Calgar just lost all of his limbs and his left eye, and can only watch as the Tyranids utterly butcher his Ultramarines. It is another one of the few scenes in the TTS universe that is played absolutely seriously for how short it is. No wonder he made a deal with something to win.

Bro Trip 40, 000

• Corax's speech to the Raven Guard and the rest of the Imperial forces when he prepares to sacrifice himself to save everyone from the deadly toxins that will be released by the Greater Catachan Barking Toad. The Raven Guard are all but in tears at the prospect of losing their gene-father, and it is only thanks to Sly Marbo that such a massive catastrophe and tragedy was ultimately averted.
  Corax: By toxiferous grace, I meet my fate, to feel sorrow and hate, nevermore...

Specials

• While it's hidden among hilarity and barely noticeable, the Slaaneshmas Special has the Emperor more or less stating he spends the entirety of Sanguinala every year doing nothing but crying.
• In the Special about the Flesh Eaters Chapters inception, the Emperor hears of how the chapter was founded after seeing a vision of Sanguinius following consumption of Ork flesh. Almost immediately after this, the emperor demands "All the Ork they can find" so he can see his son. While played for laughs, the desperation is clear and shows just how much he misses his winged son to the point that he'd be willing to risk the equivalent of a drug trip just to be able to see him.
  • And what did he get after eating enough ork to fill the throneroom? A less than a second of a reunion with his son. And it was the moment of Sanguinius's death on top of that.
• Even if it was a tabletop session, The 6th Special episode has a few heartwrenching humor, especially deaths of Kräkus (Astra Militarum's character) and Bulgo (Administratum's character), who the former's death provided the dramatic shift by killing off a comic relief and the latter being a decent and long-surviving character being eliminated in one hit along with horrified grief from their comrades.
  • Small measure of sympathy for Magnar Buckethead, who just wanted someone to watch his back while he enjoyed a visit to the zoo like he always wanted to do and got utterly brutalized because of the players' terrible luck with dice.
  • Also from the tabletop session, even if it's good to know he's alive and hilarious to see where he got, there's also a measure of sadness in seeing Custodisi's deteriorating mental state as hope of getting back home slowly vanishes, and rabble that shouldn't be able to even touch him maul him horribly without the players realizing. Perhaps the sanest of the Pillarstodes, and this is what he gets.
  • The saddest part? It's his two brothers and his Emperor that lay him low, and in all likelihood, none of them will ever know.
    • Thankfully, episode 28 negates this entirely; as it turns out, getting chucked into the Great Jaw was the only available way for him to return to the 40k universe.
• Special 7 sees the cast playing Stellaris with the Emperor's faction unwittingly reenacting the Horus Heresy with Boy in the role of the titular Horus. Dorn is not pleased with the turn of events, even stating that he's experiencing intense trauma. For the most part it's played for laughs, but after the Emperor leaves, Boy makes fun of him and we get the following exchange, with Dorn sounding genuinely distressed.
  Boy: lol he ragequit
  Dorn: Boy...Please.

Other

• The video on Ciaphas Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM, has the titular Commissar go on an impostor-syndrome-induced freak out after yet another brush with death.
• The Fate Of The Lamenters: Bruva Alfabusa felt the need to include in the title "WARNING: This isn't funny, it's just depressing." After the Emperor demands to know - in his usually ticked off fashion - about the Cursed Founding, and the Lamenters specifically, wanting to know why exactly they're considered "cursed", we're treated to a long and brutal montage of the Lamenters being horribly killed in the line of duty in a variety of increasingly cruel ways, berated and abused by the other forces of the Imperium all the way up to the Lords Of Terra themselves, while the Lamenters can do little more than weep at their lot in life. The lead Lamenter in particular, progressively loses all four of his limbs (forcing him to use prosthetic replacements), gains a nasty gash and "CURSED" graffiti on his chest plate from his brutalization by the Minotaurs, before being eaten alive by the dreaded Tyranid monstrosity known as the Red Terror; afterwards, we see his soul sitting in the dark with the stumps of his lost limbs bloodily exposed, as he weeps and pleads for Sanguinius and the Emperor to tell him what they did to deserve this when they try so hard. The Emperor himself is reduced to sobbing uncontrollably, leaving Whammudes to say "Fair enough" before whipping out a mop to clean up.
  Lamenter: Emperor... Sanguinius... We try our best. We save your people! We stand by you! We love you... So, please answer! WHAT HAVE WE DONE TO DESERVE THIS FATE?!
  • And to make matters even worse, everything shown isn't even much of an exaggeration. Being abandoned by other Astartes chapters, being forced to sacrifice their own, random warp storms, the brutalization by the Minotaurs and the general way the Imperium treats the most noble and good-hearted chapter in the whole setting like shit? All canon.
  • To drive the knife even further is the scene where Lamenters are overcome with the Black Rage when that started to pop up after the hope that they were the only Blood Angels chapter to finally not have it, and it's them wanting a quick death.
    • What makes the scene even more heartwrenching? Look at what the Lamenter who orders the detonation of the charges does before issuing that desperate command. He looks at the civilians that they had only just saved from orks, just prior to them being overcome with Black Rage... And the civilian woman nods, before turning to her husband and both embracing for the last time as the command is issued.
  • Another thing the animation doesn't quite bring up, is that the Minotaurs' attack on them and the subsequent condemnation by the High Lords to a century of penitent crusading, was the result of the Lamenters siding with the Astral Claws — one of the few Chapters that had shown them kindness — during the Badab War... and only after the conflict did they find out that Chapter had fallen to Chaos, and thus they were fighting on the wrong side the whole time.
  • The absolute worst part of the Lamenters' fates is that they are genuinely the most truly heroic and noble Space Marine chapter in the entire Imperium, even more than the Salamanders, to the point where their war cry is "For those we cherish, we die in glory!" But because of their founding and reputation, they are reviled and hated by the people they fight so hard to protect.
  • And THEN you bring up that they're sons of Sanguinius. I.e. the one person in the entire universe the thronebound Emperor cares about. And they're getting screwed over so badly you could easily interpret the chapter's misfortune as Emp's worst fears for his favorite grandchildren coming true. This also raises the question if the Emperor even knows about the Black Rage - in the Horus Heresy novels, Sanguinius specifically keeps the Red Thirst (which started leading into the Black Rage after Sanguinius's death) a secret from Big E because he's afraid his legion will be purged like the II and XI legions - the two Forgotten Legions that are always left specifically blank. Who knows just how much soul-and-warp-shattering sorrow the Emperor would feel if he were to learn his favorite son was withholding secret flaws in his geneseed for fear of having his name and his entire legion wiped from collective memory?

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