After Francine flies into a rage at her thirty-ninth birthday, she explains that she felt her one shot at stardom was stolen from her by George Clooney, who ad-libbed a line over her own when they starred in a show together, and each year that passes she's reminded of what could have been. Although Francine no longer wants to become a star, she does want to destroy George Clooney by forcing him to fall in love with her and then breaking his heart. Stan is only too happy to help, and even recruits an entire team to make it a militaryesque type operation, though inadvertently throws a spanner into the works when finds himself unexpectedly falling for George Clooney's charm.
Meanwhile, Roger decides to turn the Smiths backyard pool into a vineyard while Stan and Francine are away and fosters a group of children as slave labor, while Hayley discovers she has cancer and must undergo treatment while trying to help the children in Roger's care.
Tropes:
- Abusive Parents:
- Roger only adopts a group of children so they can work on his vineyard for him and proceeds to treat them cruelly by forcing them to work in unsafe and bitterly cold conditions. Amongst other things, he makes two of the older girls wait on Steve in an overtly sexual manner and wires two others of them so they'll receive electric shocks should they move.
- Neither Francine nor Stan seems to know about Hayley's cancer and if they do, certainly don't bother ending Francine's plan for revenge so they can leave Prague to return home and support her.
- Aliens Are Bastards: Roger is unnecessarily cruel to the children in his care, to the extent that they're delighted when they get to return to care.
- Bait-and-Switch: Stan sounds horrified when Francine admits that she wants to destroy George Clooney, only to immediately say that he's behind her all the way.
- Batman Gambit: The plan to destroy George Clooney. Francine makes him fall in love with her by appealing to his interests in a very specific way, namely speaking Italian and believing in true love and then intends to break his heart once he's fallen for her.
- Berserk Button: Turns out Francine has quite the extreme one whenever George Clooney is mentioned.
- Beware the Nice Ones: The usually sweetly spoken and kind hearted Francine lashes out at her thirty-ninth birthday by screaming and throwing her cake at the wall. Asides from gleefully making George Clooney fall in love with her in order to eventually break his heart, Francine snaps when Stan betrays her and seeks to kill Clooney instead.
- Big "NO!": When Stan tells Clooney about Francine's plan, Francine can be heard screaming from however far their command center is from Clooney's home.
- Brick Joke: Francine mentions how Clooney uses the same "cheesy move" where he looks down, then slightly up when acting. Clooney does this three times in the episode (two of which are in his personal life) and Francine herself does this on Clooney as part of her seduction ruse.
- Call-Back: In “Deacon Stan, Jesus Man”, Francine mentions that her one free kill is George Clooney, expressing her great dislike for him. Here we find out the true reason why she dislikes him so, and that she's decided to destroy him instead.
- Caught on Tape: More caught on livefeed; a surveillance camera in Clooney's apartment shows Stan revealing Francine's plan in its entirety so Clooney won't be hurt.
- Conversation Cut: After Francine describes her dream to destroy George Clooney, Stan says that this is the most disturbing thing he's ever heard...before cutting to the two of them on an airplane and Stan promising they'll make it happen.
- Definitely Just a Cold: Hayley has a cough at the beginning of the episode, and it gets worse until she is finally diagnosed with cancer.
- Department of Redundancy Department: George Clooney relaxes at a place called "Mountaintop Spa on top of a Mountaintop".
- Disproportionate Retribution: Even if Clooney did steal Francine's moment (small as it was), a year-long campaign to break his heart is utterly ridiculous when thought about. As it turns out, Francine's hatred for Clooney isn't *actually* due to some unfulfilled dream, but rather a coping mechanism for a midlife crisis she's suffering after turning thirty-nine.
- Failed a Spot Check: Those behind the plot to break Clooney's heart are well aware that Francine could fall In Love with the Mark due to his charisma, and consistently remind her to stay focused. However, by having Stan pose as Clooney's bodyguard and get to know him on a personal level, it's him who becomes besotted with Clooney. Unwilling to hurt his new friend, Stan reveals Francine's ploy to him, undoing the year-long scheme moments when it would have succeeded.
- Faux Affably Evil: Roger acts like this towards his adopted children, speaking in a soft and coaxing tone, and using affectionate nicknames while denying them basic care.
- Geeky Turn-On: Steve has two of Roger's older adopted daughters dress up in Princess Leia's slave costume while they wait on him.
- Girl on Girl Is Hot: According to Steve, he 'allowed' the two girls waiting on him to kiss while he watched, and expresses surprise when they try and strangle him with their shackles.
- Hope Spot: One of Roger's adopted children approaches him, telling him that he's cold, and Roger kindly responds that the boy should head inside and get a warm drink. To bring for Roger to drink himself.
- Incurable Cough of Death: Hayley's mild cough rapidly becomes cancer, severe enough that she's granted a Make A Wish request and loses a lot of weight and her hair while hooked up to a chemo drip. However she does recover.
- Karma Houdini: Roger never faces the consequences for abusing the children in his care, they're simply taken away from them. He's even glad they're gone, as it turns out the wine they made was terrible.
- Kubrick Stare: One of the many reasons Francine hates George Clooney.Francine: My dream is to destroy George Clooney. That arrogant, overrated, memo-writing bastard! He's not even an actor! He just does the same cheesy move every time. Looks down, then looks back up squinting underneath his eyebrows. And [punches car dashboard with each syllable] EVERYBODY'S BUYING IT!
- Laser-Guided Karma: Unlike Roger, who doesn't receive any punishment for abusing the children in his care, Steve is immediately strangled by the two girls he sexually harassed and forced to wait on him.
- Late to the Realization: With Stan's guidance, France realizes that she doesn't truly hate George Clooney, she's just having a midlife crisis after turning thirty-nine.
- Laughably Evil: As cruel as Roger is to his adopted children, it occasionally borders on the outright hilariously insane, such as wiring two children up to pose as a Pilgrim and a Native Indian for his Thanksgiving centerpiece, meaning one poor boy is shocked when he only moves to scratch his nose.
- Melodrama: Determined to help the children Roger is abusing, Hayley initially finds herself unable to as she's too sick from cancer. However, she's able to call CPS once she's recovered, and even states that she vowed to God she would save the children if she beat cancer.
- Montage: Of Clooney falling in love with Francine, intercepted with scenes showing a cut out of George Clooney's head going up Francine's rectal cavity.
- Plot Armor: There was never any doubt that Hayley would survive her cancer diagnosis.
- Removed from the Picture: Stan tells Clooney that Francine is married and has kids, showing him a picture of the family that has himself cut out in order to hide his relationship with Francine.
- Running Gag: Twice Clooney decides to bring an old trend back, pipe smoking and mutton chops, and both times it works all the way from Prague to the United States.
- Sexy Santa Dress: The two girls forced to wait on Steve are made to wear these at one point.
- Shout-Out: In their last scene, the girls waiting on Steve are wearing Princess Leia slave outfits and start to strangle Steve with their chains once they're set free.
- Status Quo Is God: Hayley survives her cancer with no debilitating side effects and Francine's hand is reattached with no issues.
- Take That!: The entire episode is an affectionate jab at George Clooney's acting abilities and his, at the time, single and carefree attitude towards life.
- Temporary Bulk Change: Haylee loses a notable amount of weight during her cancer treatment but regains it once she's in recovery. A more realistic example than most, as this takes place over a year.
- Title Drop: The operation to break George Clooney's heart is appropriately called "Tears of A Clooney."
- Took a Level in Badass: Francine breaks herself free from her shackles by cutting off her own hand and then bests Stan in a high-stakes motorcycle race to reach Clooney before he can.
- Would Hurt a Child: Roger emotionally and physically abuses the children in his care.
