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Quotes / Wizarding School

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Unseen University was much Bigger on the Inside. Thousands of years as the leading establishment of practical magic in a world where dimensions were largely a matter of chance in any case had left it bulging with places where it shouldn't have places. There were rooms containing rooms which, if you entered them, turned out to contain the room you'd started with, which can be a problem if you are in a conga line.
And because it was so big, it could afford to have an almost unlimited number of staff on the premises. Tenure was automatic, or more accurately, non-existant. You found an empty room, turned up for meals as usual, and generally no-one noticed, although if you were unfortunate you might attract students. And if you looked hard enough in some of the outlying regions of the University, you could find an expert on

Such a picturesque institution, such an integral part of the short but intense history of Kingsmouth. It offers the town a boosted economy, attracts scholars, and bestows academic prestige. Only gifted children are admitted, under very strict entry exams. Students rank at the highest aptitudes of natural science, history and archaeology. The academy is considered one of the premier prep schools in the United States.
Public faces are so very pretty. Initiate the secret faces. Gaze through the half-light.
Powerful wards lace the outer walls of the school. Chalk outlines form ritual shapes on the blackboard. The shelves are lined with the sort of books that one might have been burnt at the stake for, only a few centuries ago. The young doodle in notebooks, dreaming of bright futures in the secret cabals. Along with mundane curriculum, seasoned magi teach spellcraft, alchemy, and occultism. One faculty member is fond of his yearly demonstrations of cephalonomancy, the art of divination via the boiled head of a donkey. Another scent haunts the halls.
'The Buzzing, on Innsmouth Academy, The Secret World''

Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy, Warty Hogwarts,
Teach us something please,
Whether we be old and bald,
Or young with scabby knees,
Our heads could do with filling,
With some interesting stuff,
For now they're bare, and full of air,
Dead flies and bits of fluff,
So teach us things worth knowing,
Bring back what we've forgot,
Just do your best, we'll do the rest,
And learn until our brains all rot.

Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies was established as a premiere girls' finishing school in 1790. During the Civil War, it was converted into a military hospital. Afterwards, it came under new management. Our management. In 1868, Marianne Wharton,a prominent East Coast society matron, early suffragette, author of several popular children's books - and, as it happened, the reigning Supreme of that time - purchased this facility, retaining the name as a cover, establishing a safe haven where young witches could gather to learn.

You think: because I'm so very strong, I need fear nothing. They actually tell you that, in fourth year: once you've completed this part of the course you should never be afraid of anything ever again, because nothing will have the power to hurt you. It sounds marvelous, and you write home: Dear Mother and Father, this term we'll be doing absolute strength, when I see you next, I'll be invincible and invulnerable, just fancy, your loving son, etc. We believe it, because it's so very plausible. Then you get field assignments and practicals, where you levitate heavy objects and battle demons and divert the course of rivers and turn back the tides off the sea - heady stuff for a nineteen-year-old - and at the end of it you believe. I'm a graduate of the Studium, armed with strictoense and protected by lorica; I shall fear no evil. And then they pack you off to your first posting, and you start the slow, humiliating business of learning something useful, the hard way.
Return Of The Pig, by K.J. Parker

Once, Eltisley Hall and the Maze had been two separate schools, representing two styles of magic that were at odds, but now they were joined because magic had been united, at great cost. The passage between them was a sandy hedge-lined walkway that only opened at certain times. Patricia would send weeks mastering some delicate healing art at Eltisely Hall, and then they would send her back to the Maze and she would be so confused and tangled up in herself that she forgot all her fancy skills. She would solve some nonsense puzzle at the Maze and figure out how to do some clever trick, only to be sent back to Eltisley Hall, where they'd drum endless rules into her again, and she would lose the twisty shape she'd been holding in her mind.


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