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Quotes / Vampires Are Sex Gods

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"There was something about them that made me uneasy, some longing and at the same time some deadly fear. I felt in my heart a wicked, burning desire that they would kiss me with those red lips."
Jonathan Harker, Dracula

...And the computer is like "Do I have to spell it out for you? A V.A.M.P.I.R.E.!"
And the girl is like "OH MY GOD!.....THAT IS SO HOT!"
Chester A. Bum, review of Twilight

Throughout history he has filled the hearts of men with terror, and the hearts of women with desire.
Tagline for Dracula (1979)

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When you turn into a vampire, you become very... sexy.

We are attempting to remake the image of vampirism into something desirable. As such, we cannot just be beautiful; we must back up that promise of beauty in the bedroom. All vampires must be spectacular lovers and will learn to be so. Emphasis on learn. I do not put sexual prowess into the criteria of who becomes a vampire, because I would rather someone with too little experience than too much. A blank canvas I can work with. Breaking existing bad habits is far more difficult.
Individual lessons will be given in proper intercourse; however, I will give a general overview. Vampire sex comes into two styles: passionately sensual or animalistic frenzy. There is no in-between. There are no other categories. Talking dirty is beneath us. Role-playing is redundant. Light bondage is acceptable. However, more extreme fetishism is expressly forbidden. Again, you represent all of us, and even here, we must retain a level of respectability.
Dr Talby, An Unattractive Vampire by Jim McDoniel

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In those younger years my home was a hive of unbridled hedonism, a roiling apiary where instinct and impulse were indulged with wild abandon. A bewitching predator slipped in amidst the swarm of tittering sycophants. Though outwardly urbane, I could sense in her a mocking thirst. Driven half-mad by cloying vulgarity, I plotted to rid myself of this lurking threat in a grand display of sadistic sport. But as the moment of murder drew nigh, the gibbous moon revealed her inhuman desires in all their stultifying hideousness....
The Ancestor, Darkest Dungeon
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