Funny / The Frighteners

WARNING: Spoilers are unmarked.

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The Movie

• Frank running over one of Ray's garden gnome while backing his car out of the Lynskeys' lawn. Ray's completely distraught over the loss of his garden gnome.
  Ray: Oh! Budzo! My Budzo! My Budzo! [yelling after Frank as he drives off] I got your license plate number, YOU BASTARD!!!
• During Stuart and Cyrus's haunting of the Lynskey household, one of the ghosts causes a Raggedly Ann doll to tug at Lucy. Lucy just screams, but Ray screams, jumps up, grabs a pillow, and starts hitting the doll as it backs away and eventually stops.
  • While kitchen tools are floating through the air, Ray gets conked on the head by a pan (or something) immediately after mentioning "It's nothing that the police can't handle!"
• As Frank arrives at the Lynskeys' house, he runs over all of Ray's garden gnomes.
• When Frank informs him that his services have a hefty charge, Ray, who's nursing a head wound, makes an outraged sound, but Lucy, standing behind Frank, silently tells him to calm down. Frank then offers to drop the fee if Ray forgets about the earlier lawn incident; when Ray hesitates, Lucy angrily mouths at him to "DO IT!" He finally gives in.
• Stuart's first scene has him stumbling out of Frank's car trunk and saying he's going to throw up. Frank then coaches him through the process, which involves Stuart's cheeks puffing up before the vomit comes spewing out.
• Cyrus ranting about Frank's car:
  Cyrus: Man, I hate that trunk!
  Frank: I don't want you guys spreading your ectoplasmic muck all over the car seat.
  Cyrus: Well, ain't that a bitch? The ectoplasm's the only thing sticky enough to hold the damn car together! Look, Frank, I'm sorry 'bout your pus-yellow, piece-of-shit Volvo, but we ain't riding in the damn trunk no more, you understand? We would like to cruise with some style, man!
• Stuart gets stuck in the door to Frank's house.
  Frank: Hey, Stuart, in or out, huh?
• When Frank gripes that Cyrus and Stuart didn't bang the toilet seat lid like they were supposed to and that they made him "look like an asshole," Cyrus replies "We strained our backs lifting that heavy-ass bed, Frank!"
• Cyrus's rant to Frank after the latter threatens to send him and Stuart back to the cemetery:
  Cyrus: Well, you can pull this, Frank! I'm about to go like Jesse on yo' ass! I'mma find me some other black ghosts, and then organize a march! The African-American Apparition Coalition—the A double-A C. And let me tell you somethin', Frank—there ain't nothing worse than a bunch of ticked-off brothers that's already dead!
• Frank spraying bug spray into Stuart's face, which melts. He even makes a small dick-ish smile before doing it.
• Cyrus poking his head out of a stereo after The Judge fires off his guns.
  Cyrus: Y'know, if I wanted to get shot at every day, I'd move my black ass to Los Angeles! [disappears]
• Anything involving Hiles.
  • In his first scene, Hiles shifts uniforms within a span of at least ten seconds while bullying Frank and chewing him out for taking advantage of ghosts.
    • Frank attempts to punch Hiles, only for Hiles to block his blow with a SWAT shield, then shift into boxing gear and punch Frank down to the ground.
  • His death scene warrants a mention. His response to the advancing Reaper? "Who in the hell are you?! Sound off like you got a pair!" When the Reaper then draws his scythe, Hiles immediately shifts into combat gear... only to be swiftly cut in half by the Reaper.
• Agent Milton Dammers has... issues:
  Dammers: [to Sheriff Perry] You are invading my territorial bubble!
• The hot ghost-on-mummy action scene:
  The Judge: I like it when they lie still like that!
• Cyrus and Stuart animate a skeleton in order to distract the police from Frank. When the skeleton takes a lot of damage and falls down, Cyrus tearfully remarks "And she was so young and beautiful!"
• Magda attempts to punch Frank, who dodges her and instead decks her in the face so he can take her to safety from the Reaper.
• Dammers expresses his confidence that Frank will elude the police... only for Frank to stroll into the police station.
• Frank, as a ghost, tackles the Reaper in defense of Lucy who's being held captive by Dammers. The Reaper gets his scythe and advances on Frank... only to be hit by a truck, screeching all the while.
• Dammers puts a swim ring on his driver seat has some implications about his caboose.
  • As he eases himself down, he has a satisfied look on his face, then he throws an embarrassed glance at Lucy.
• Dammers revealing his bare chest full of scars? That's scary. But on television, the scars are cut out, making it look like he's only showing his bare chest. So it makes him look delusional when he says "My body is a map of pain!"
• For a nice bit of Black Comedy, Bartlett gleefully saying he can't wait to tell Ted Bundy that he outdid him in his Body-Count Competition, and then complaining about the "Russian cannibal creep" (implied to be Andrei Chikatilo) bragging about how many people he killed in life.
  Bartlett: That Russian cannibal creep is going around telling people he did fifty-plus! [groans] That reflects badly on the both of us, Patty! That title should be held by an American!
• The look on Dammers' face right before, and after, his head gets blown off by Patricia.
• "Ah, the ol' express bus to Hell—no lines, no waitin'!"
• The ghost of Agent Dammers sitting in the back of the police car, glaring at Frank (for his part in Patty shooting his head) as though clearly thinking "I hate you..."

From the Director's Cut

• During Stuart and Cyrus's haunting of the Lynskeys' house, Lucy and Ray see a raw chicken walking down the hallway.
  • It gets mentioned later on when Frank is tearing into Stuart and Cyrus, and he tells Stuart that the chicken wasn't scary. Cyrus is heard snickering at this.
• Cyrus pulling Stuart out of the front door, commenting that he's "uptight."
• Stuart indignantly saying he's going to give Frank a stern talking-to about his treatment of his employees, only for Frank to call down from upstairs "You talkin' to me, Stuart?" and Stuart, cowed, to reply "No."
  • Cyrus then tells Stuart he's not being assertive enough and gives an excellent example of how he should approach their friend/employer. For bonus points, Cyrus's head is illuminated by a light bulb, making him look almost like a Jack O'Lantern (complete with Glowing Eyes of Doom), as he does so.
    Cyrus: You just gotta go up to him, look him in the eye, and say "Hey, Frank... GIMME WHAT I WANT OR I'MMA BUST YO ASS!"
• Frank is in the shower when Cyrus's head appears out of the drain so he can talk to Frank. Frank eventually tells Cyrus he has to pee and he's not getting out the shower. Cyrus promptly vanishes down the drain.
  Cyrus: Hey, Frank! How's it hanging?
  Frank: I don't know, Cyrus. You tell me.
  Cyrus: Well, Frank, I'll tell you one thing: The ladies ain't missin' nothin'!
• Frank is accosted by The Grim Reaper (not Bartlett) and scared out of his mind. Then, The Grim Reaper turns out to be... Stuart and Cyrus in disguise. Frank is far from amused, angrily tells the two to never pull that stunt again, and stalks off.
  • Stuart then enthusiastically suggests trying a white sheet next time, to which Cyrus rolls his eyes upward at him and delivers this gem:
    Cyrus: Nuh-uh. Ain't gonna be no white sheet, brah.
• When Frank confronts his friends with news that the bank is threatening to take his house, Cyrus remarks it's good news because it means they can move into someplace that has glass in the windows. Frank is NOT amused.
• When Cyrus and Stuart are about to haunt a wealthy woman's house and they see a woman walking by, they quickly avert their eyes and fall quiet as the woman passes by. Bear in mind that these guys are ghosts and Invisible to Normals.
• As Cyrus and Stuart make their way into the police station to find Frank, they cross through the men's locker room, to which Cyrus reacts with discomfort. Then Cyrus comes across Benny, a still-living acquaintance of his. Stuart ventures on while Cyrus hangs back to chat briefly with Benny before stopping, rolling his eyes, and going to drag Cyrus away as he tells Benny "Three words: Wash with soap."

Behind the Scenes

• Apparently, any time Michael J. Fox tried to say "Judge!", he said "Doc!" instead.
  Michael J. Fox: Doc! "Doc?" I did it again! Wrong fucking movie...
• From the blooper reel on the Director's Cut:
  • Chi McBride doing a hilarious impression of Scotty.
    Chi McBride: [with a Scottish accent] Stuart cannae take no more, Cap'n!
• Peter Jackson relating the story of how he dissolved into laughter while watching a shot of Jeffrey Combs' mouth as saliva began to dribble out of it.

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