- Bubba's ludicrously long list of dishes you can make with shrimp. It's so long that he's still saying it when he and Forrest are scrubbing the floor with toothbrushes hours later.
- Admit it, you wanted to laugh, too, when Lt. Dan is practically challenging God to strike down their shrimp boat during the hurricane.Lt. Dan: You. Will. NEVER. Sink. This. BOAT!!! MAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!Lt. Dan: YOU CALL THIS A STORM?!
- While Forrest's football team is at the White House to meet President John F. Kennedy, Forrest drinks fifteen bottles of Dr Pepper. When the time comes to shake the President's hand...JFK: Congratulations, how do you feel?Forrest: I gotta pee.JFK: I believe he said he had to go pee!
- After Dan buys some well-timed stock in Apple Computers, Forrest describes it as "some kind of fruit company."Forrest: After awhile Lt. Dan said we didn't have to worry about money anymore. So I said "That's good!" (nods to the lady listening to his story) "...One less thing!"
- Forrest's elementary school principal, while certainly a huge sleazeball for taking sexual advantage of Forrest's mother in exchange for allowing Forrest to go to school, has some of the funniest over-the-top sex moans you'll ever hear. They're so loud that Forrest can hear them outside the house, which leads to this priceless exchange later as the principal exits the house that arguably counts as the most brilliant, hilarious unintentional comeback in cinematic history:Principal: You don't say much, do you?
Forrest: (silently stares at him a few seconds) Eee! Eee! Eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee, eee!
(Principal turns and hurriedly walks away)
- On being shot in the buttocks:They said it was a million dollar wound, but the army must keep that money 'cause I still haven't seen a nickel of that million dollars.
- Forrest actually showing the wound on his behind to LBJ on national television. LBJ's reaction is even better:LBJ: (laughing) God damn, son.
- Pay attention, he actually mulls it over before going through with it. One YouTube comment summed it up as Forrest trying to reconcile his manners with what he saw as a direct order from his commander-in-chief.
- Forrest actually showing the wound on his behind to LBJ on national television. LBJ's reaction is even better:
- When the shrimping business isn't going too well, Lt. Dan sarcastically suggests Forrest pray for shrimp. One Gilligan Cut later Forrest is standing in a gospel choir, looking as awkward and out-of-place as a pineapple in a tomato patch.
- "Lt. Dan would come sometimes too, but... I think he left all the prayin' up to me." Said while we see Dan sitting in the aisle beside a pew and downing booze from a hip flask.
- "Sorry I had a fight in the middle of your Black Panther party."
- Dan talking to Forrest about religion:Dan: Have you found Jesus yet, Gump?Forrest: I didn't know we were supposed to be looking for him, sir.
- This gem of an exchange halfway through the film:Forrest: Lt. Dan! What're you doin' here?Lt. Dan: Well, I thought I'd try out my sea legs.Forrest: But you ain't got no legs, Lt. Dan.Lt. Dan: ...Yes, I know that.
- And shortly after that, since Forrest had whimsically jumped off his moving boat.[rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr-CRASH]Forrest: [beat] That's my boat...
- And shortly after that, since Forrest had whimsically jumped off his moving boat.
- Forrest's only problem with playing college football is he never knows when to stop running. When we see him play, he not only carries the ball almost effortlessly to the goalline, but bulldozes the marching band and runs clean out of the stadium.College was very confusing times.
- Which leads to how Forrest finally figures out when to stop running; the entire stadium holds up signs and shouts "STOP!!"
- During his first on-screen game, he gets distracted by his coach and starts running towards him. That first change in direction causes a collision between two of his opponents. When he's told to start running in the right direction again, that second change in direction causes his pursuers to fall in a heap.
- Forrest narrates Jenny's naked stage performance scene in a mesmerized tone, heavily implying that he got a boner at the time. That's some great work by Tom Hanks.
- "They sending me to Vietnam. It's this whole other country."
- Lt. Dan thinking Forrest and Bubba are from Arkansas moments after they tell him they're from Alabama.
Lt. Dan: Where're you boys from in the world?Forrest and Bubba: (simultaneously) Alabama, sir!Lt. Dan: (jokingly) ...You twins?(Beat, Bubba and Forrest look at each other)Forrest: ...No, we are not relations, sir.
- Right before that:
- There's some Black Comedy to be had with Forrest's Innocent Inaccurate trait, starting from his summation of Jenny's father.
- Forrest being lectured by a Black Panther, who he ignores because he's too busy looking at Jenny.
- Bubba's mom getting a check from Forrest's shrimp company profits, and fainting after seeing what is likely a lot of zeroes. Then in her next scene, she is being served by a white cook.Forrest: And ya know what? She didn't have to work in no one's kitchen no more.
- Forrest in Boot Camp:Drill Sergeant: GUUUMP! WHAT'S YOUR SOLE PURPOSE IN THIS ARMY?
Gump: To do whatever you tell me, Drill Sergeant?
Drill Sergeant: GODDAMMIT, GUMP! YOU'RE A GODDAMN GENIUS! THAT'S THE MOST OUTSTANDING ANSWER I'VE EVER HEARD! YOU MUST HAVE A GODDAMN I.Q. OF 160! YOU ARE GODDAMNED GIFTED, PRIVATE GUMP!
- And when Forrest finishes assembling and stripping his M14 in record time:Gump: DONE, DRILL SERGEANT!
Drill Sergeant: GUUUUUUMP! WHY DID YOU PUT THAT WEAPON TOGETHER SO QUICKLY, GUMP?
Gump: You told me to, Drill Sergeant?
Drill Sergeant: JESUS H. CHRIST! This is a new company record! If it wouldn't be a waste of such DAMN fine enlisted meat, I'd recommend you for OCS, Private Gump! YOU ARE GONNA BE A GENERAL SOMEDAY, GUMP! NOW, DISASSEMBLE YOUR WEAPON AND CONTINUE!
- And when Forrest finishes assembling and stripping his M14 in record time:
- Forrest's summation of George Wallace being shot while pursuing the Democratic nomination in the 1972 election.The man in the schoolhouse door thought it would be a good idea if he ran for president. [Wallace is shot by Arthur Bremer] But somebody thought it wasn't.
- When somebody at Wallace's Stand in the Schoolhouse Door refers to the black students trying to register as "coons", Forrest thinks he's talking about raccoons and says they should just get a broom.
- When the US ping pong team met with Nixon at the White House, he personally inquired as to what hotel Forrest was staying in, and then got him a room at a better one. One smash cut later, Forrest is calling the hotel manager late at night, recommending that a maintenance man be sent to the office "across the way", since some men are in there working by flashlight. A zoom in on the table near Forrest as he hangs up reveals that Nixon recommended the Watergate hotel.
- Lt. Dan, a platoon commander, explaining to two of the soldiers under his command that he is destined to die in battle can be pretty funny if you think about it, given that such a statement is probably a spectacular example of how a commander can demoralize the troops he would presumably be leading when he expects to die on the battlefield.
- When Forrest meets the president for the third time in his life, he sounds kind of irritated with the whole thing when he recounts it!
- "And then I went to the White House, again, and shook hands with the president, again.
Funny / Forrest Gump