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Funny / Big Time Rush

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The city is ours!

  • The boys wonder how they'll fit everyone into their music video.
    Kendall: We'll just put everyone in the background as extras or something.
    Logan: Yeah, that's acting, right?
  • And this gem of a line:
    James: We're TEENAGERS: if we don't party, we could DIE!
  • Camille's introduction.
  • Gustavo pulls out a ROCKET LAUNCHER on a guy that was auditioning.
    • The punk rock-looking guy after him doesn't fare any better. He steps up to the mic while Kelly and Gustavo are still arguing, and without missing a beat or looking away from Kelly, Gustavo yells "KEEP WALKING! DON'T STOP AT THE MICROPHONE. JUST KEEP WALKING!"
  • When Kendall's mom opens her front door to find the boys, in police custody:
    Kendall: "Mom! Remember that time I saved you from choking? Wow, that was close. <Beat> And I love you."
  • James and the FBI in "Big Time Mansion":
    James: Call the FBI!
    Logan: For a missing cat? (James nods enthusiastically) The FBI only deals with serious crimes.
    James: Oh...that explains a lot...
    James: (in the bathroom, shaking a can of hairspray with an urgent look on his face) FBI?! Help! My hair is limp and lifeless! ...hello? (examines phone as dial tone is heard)'' Hellooooo?
    • Also:
    Kendall:'s also time you stopped feeding me dinosaur-shaped chicken.
    Mrs Knight: But you love your dinosaur chicken!
    Kendall: Yeah!...When I was eight!
    Logan: We are men, Mrs. Knight!
    <Cut to James and Carlos making dinosaur noises while playing with their food>
    • And another:
    Gustavo: Oh, you want me to let the monkeys mansion sit!?
    Logan: Yeah, I thought we were dogs?
    Gustavo: YOU'RE MONKEY DOGS!
    • Upon seeing the locked fridge in Gustavo's mansion:
      Kendall: Why do you think Gustavo locks his fridge?
      James: I bet he keeps his heart in there.
      Logan: Or his victims.
      Carlos: Or food!
      • Carlos again after the boys wonder how they'll open the fridge:
      Carlos: Step aside, boys. My uncle was a locksmith. (framing the lock with his hands) You just place your hands between the cylinder and the central housing ... THEN YOU HIT IT WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER!!!
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  • Most of the stuff Mrs. Knight did in "Big Time Beach Party" while trying to slather the boys with sunblock falls under this category.
  • The gang try to suck up to Griffin's daughter in the belief she chooses which acts become famous for the company. After going along with it, she tells them the real way the record acts are chosen, eliciting an absolutely beautiful You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me! reaction from the boys, Gustav and Kelly.
    Gang: A MONKEY picks the demos?!!?!!?!?!
  • Also from "Big Time Demos," the boys, Gustavo, Kelly, and Mercedes sit dejectedly in the lobby after losing Lolo and failing to convince him to like their demo. Kendall then stands up and proceeds to rattle off an encouraging speech which lifts everyone's spirits ... only for Griffin to walk in with Lolo.
    Kendall: No. We are not giving up. We're almost halfway there, and another thing I've learned since coming to LA is that together? We can do anything.
    (enter Griffin with Lolo the Monkey)
    Griffin: Look who I found, hitchhiking on the Hollywood freeway.
    Kendall: Yeah, we're done.
    • Buddha Bob convincing the menacing tenant in 3R to move out by pretending to be a chainsaw-wielding maniac. As soon as the guy's out of sight, he reverts back to his regular Nice Guy self with a 'another day's work' type of smile.
  • Katie telling the boys their picture of Lord Prankerton is actually a picture of Sir Walter Raleigh and their big reaction to it gets me everytime.
    Kendall, Logan, James, and Carlos: BLASPHEMY!!!
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  • The cannon scene. No description can do it justice.
  • From "Welcome Back Big Time", Gustavo and Kelly asking Griffin how he got BTR a spot at Rocktober.
    Griffin: A little wheeling, a little dealing... and poison.
    • A few moments later..
    Griffin: Just remember: Big Time Rush, Rocktober... poison.
  • In "Big Time Jobs", the coffee machine going crazy. "MORE FOAM MORE FOAM MORE FOAM MORE FOAM MORE FOAM" and "I WILL COVER THE EARTH WITH FOAM".
    • Later, when Kelly is telling Carlos that they can't destroy it, the coffee machine calls her and women in general weak. Her reaction is to eagerly help Carlos destroy it while it yells for them to tell the blender it loves it.
  • At the end of "Big Time Concert", after Griffin wants to buy back Big Time Rush, Kelly makes one of the requirements be that Griffin must run back to the studio and write "I will never do this to Big Time Rush again" 100 times on a chalkboard and he runs off to do it. Also counts as a Moment of Awesome for Kelly.
    • When they're looking for a replacement for James, the last person to audition sings good but unfortunately happens to be a demon worshiper.
  • Everyone at Rocque Records trying to get a skunk sent by Gustavo's Sitcom Arch-Nemesis Hawk out of the studio without being sprayed. In the end, the boys capture it with ease, making Gustavo look like a fool. They then use it to give Hawk his karmic comeuppance.
  • The City is Ours Imagine Spot. They dance as buildings. That is all. Refer to the picture at the top of the page.
  • "You, don't panic. You, STOP BEING ORANGE!"
  • From "Big Time Fever": When James walks into the lobby, Kendall jumps up from behind the desk, dual-wielding super soakers, and starts trying to hit James to wash the spray tan off. What ensues is a Matrix-esque scene that involves James dodging in ridiculous ways, including two cartwheels and a backflip, and all of the other people in the lobby getting caught in the crossfire, all of it set to techno music straight out of an action movie. The scene itself ends with James ducking into the elevator only to stick his head back out and pointedly spray more of the fake tan on his face.
  • From "Big Time Beach Party": The completely ridiculous yet somehow plausible reveal that Big Time Rush exists in the same universe as...SpongeBob SquarePants.
  • This gem in "Big Time Beach Party":
    James: All aboard the Malibu Beach Party Party Bus!
    Logan: You said "party" twice.
    James: You bet I did.
  • The part in "Big Time Songwriters" where Gustavo bursts out of a Polynesian mud bath (which had been filled with concrete so he wouldn't leave) yelling and stumbling around like a kaiju that's burst out from underground.
  • From "Big Time School of Rocque": Gustavo has hired a 'WWE Super-teacher' to keep an eye on the boys. Kendall asks if Chris Master was going to stop them...and thus eats his words when the sceen changes and when Chris Master—all dressed up as a teacher and has written Mr. Masterpiece on the chalkboard—suddenly has the shirt ripped off.
  • "Big Time Rocker": Carlos and James are trying to not be in the 'Friend Zone' with Lucy and constantly try to convince her otherwise. One scene involves them dressed up as Mario and Luigi.
    Lucy: What part of this did you think I'd go for?
    James: (in an Italian accent) We don't know.
    Carlos: (also in an Italian accent) We're getting desperate.
  • From "Big Time Strike": The scene where Gustavo tries to sing the BTR song, "Superstar". He sings pretty good but what makes it hilarious is that he sings the song WHILE DRESSED UP AS BIG TIME RUSH! Kelly's reaction to the whole thing also deserved to be mentioned.
    • The Giant Turd music video, where the boys are dancing in pink clothes.
  • Everything from "Big Time Superheroes": From Hawk becoming Super Hawk and acting as hammy as the characters from the 1960's Batman, James oblivious to the others wanting to do something other than dress up as superheroes, the montage where BTR become superheroes (bonus for Kelly deciding to become 'Bowlhead') and the fight scene between BTR and Hawk.
  • Big Time Movie: As Logan states, "There is no princess! And are we singing the Beatles? Do we look like the Beatles? No!" (cue the beginning guitar riff for "A Hard Day's Night" as he realizes that they are doing an Abbey Road Crossing) "Wait a minute..."
  • Every time Boyz in the Attic appeared in "Big Time Girl Group".
  • From "Bel Air Rush":
    Carlton Expy: You do know what's outside Bel Air don't you? Not Bel Air.
  • Everything Carlos and Logan did in "Big Time Surprise"
    Solo record dance in my solo record pants!
  • The beginning of "Big Time Decision" with mocking the show turning into a soap opera.
  • This exchange from "Big Time Double Date":
    Logan: Oh, Camille! You should get the "arrogant blowhard"! Oh, wait, you already do!
    Jett: Oooh, where's the arrogant blowhard? Must be on the lunch menu.
    • When James is on the dessert cart and crashes into Kendall and Lucy. They end up in a rather romantic pose.
    Lucy: I'm not kissing you.
    Kendall: I know.
  • When Mr. Bitters kept lying to his mom about his job, it lead to more lies and Buddha crossdressing.
  • Carlos jumping into a well after everyone else fell into it and his justification for doing so.
    Carlos: I was lonely!
  • Logan going batshit insane near the end of "Big Time Secret".
  • In "Big Time Christmas", the group is desperate to find another celebrity to guest star in their Christmas album. Cue to Snoop Dog hitting Gustavo with his limousine during his Skyward Scream. Instead of tending to Gustavo, Carlos happily calls it "A Christmas Miracle".
  • One of the plots of "Big Time Girlfriends" concerns Carlos entering a relationship with a girl named Sasha. As it happens, Sasha was hired by Gustavo to date Carlos... and then breakup with him, so that Carlos can properly do the band's new breakup song. And as it turns out, Gustavo legitimately doesn't understand that this is wrong.
  • From "Big Time Merchandise", after Griffin's marketing team shows off the BTR merchandise (horse shampoo, toilet brushes and action figures), the boys, Gustavo and Kelly stand up to object before Griffin cuts them off with, "And I don't want to hear any complaining. Or yelling." It then cuts to the boys and Gustavo complaining inside the recording booth, waving the products around.
    • Later, after BTR's first meeting with Sam Sellmart, which ended with Sellmart being blinded by their perfume, this happens.
      Kendall: Griffin, before you say anything, we can fix this.
      Griffin: Let me guess, it involves a prank phone call, breaking and entering, and tree hats.
      (Cuts to Kelly carrying a phone, Gustavo carrying wires, and the boys carrying crowbars and wearing tree hats)
      James: We're weren't... actually gonna break anything.
      (Everybody throws away their items)


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