Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind. At least that's what Stitch used to think, but a new revelation may challenge that old notion.
—Summary to The Only Thing Worse Than Dying
The Only Thing Worse Than Dying
is a 2005 Lilo & Stitch Fanfic written by DaveNevius (known as WatsonSword at the time of the fic's publishing).
Lilo and Stitch watch Highlander and love it, but Nani disapproves because they're too young for it. After that, Lilo and Stitch start to wonder how it would be to live forever like Connor MacLeod, the protagonist of the movie, and Lilo remembers the time she told her father about it and he told her it would end with her missing everyone she holds dear.
These thoughts end up scaring Stitch, who is assumed by the rest of his 'Ohana to have a thousand-year-long lifespan, and thus he starts fearing how he will outlive all his loved ones and be left alone for the rest of his life.
This fanfic provides examples of:
- Assurance Backfire: This happens to Stitch twice:
- After he hears from Mertle that dogs only live for 16 years, he worriedly asks Lilo whether it's true. She reasons that since he's an alien and practically indestructible, he might live for thousands of years, but Stitch isn't comforted by that reply.
- When he asks Jumba about his lifespan, Jumba doesn't remember, but gives a guess that he and the experiments could live for a hundred thousand Earth years. This answer just upsets Stitch more than he was before.
- Beyond Redemption: Subverted in Chapter 5, where Pleakley, Finder, and Nani all almost give up on helping Stitch after he attacks Finder and destroys the Pelekai house. However, Lilo convinces them to get through to him regardless, and they end up reconciling.
- Big "NO!": Stitch screams a big "Naga" at several points of the story. The first instance comes when he's surrounded by gravestones in his first nightmare, as well as when he wakes up afterward, and he does so again after his second nightmare.
- Bizarre Alien Biology: Stitch's Nightmare Sequence sees Jumba and Pleakley bearing some rather bizarre side effects of entering their twilight years:
- Pleakley is now orange instead of green, his eye is half its normal size, his antenna has shrunk and hardened, and his fingers have stiffened and blackened.
- Jumba's purple skin has turned dark olive, one of his pairs of eyes is closed as a result of the muscles having grown weaker, and he's lost a significant amount of weight, making his skin much baggier.
- Stitch's final dream sees Stitch himself go through similar changes, with his stripes, eye spots, and ear and fingertip fur graying, his ears becoming frayed, his muzzle going from navy blue to tan, and his eyes becoming clouded.
- Break His Heart to Save Him: When Nani finds Stitch in her kitchen, she asks if there's anything she can do to help him with his problem, to which Stitch starts begging her to mistreat him and make him hate her, in hopes of not having to miss her after her death.
- Break the Cutie:
- Stitch spends most of the story tormented by fears of outliving all of his loved ones and living his life alone, to the point where he's forced to make his family hate him, feeling guilt all the way.
- Lilo is reduced to tears after she witnesses Stitch capturing Experiment 241, and her shock is compounded when he slaps her in an attempt to get her to stay away from him.
- Nani undergoes this when Stitch destroys most of the Pelekai household, with Lilo, Finder, Jumba and Pleakley finding her sobbing amidst the rubble when they return to see the destruction. A mention of her mumbling in her sleep in the last chapter even implies that this incident might have affected her emotionally and mentally.
- Catapult Nightmare: Stitch wakes up from his first nightmare by jumping up and screaming loud enough to wake everyone in the house up. His second nightmare also makes him fall off of the palmtree he was sleeping on.
- Don't You Dare Pity Me!: When Nani finds a pained Stitch in the kitchen, she reaches down to pet him, only for Stitch to growl at her, feeling terror at the prospect of losing her love.
- Driven to Suicide: Stitch almost jumps off a cliff and into the ocean to prevent his eventual abandonment, outliving all of his loved ones, and murdering his feelings. However, Lilo and the others rescue him in the nick of time and reveal the truth to him.
- Entertainment Above Their Age: The story starts with Lilo and Stitch watching Highlander, which Pleakley is mentioned to have picked in order to help them watch more films that aren't B monster flicks. They both enjoy it, but Nani isn't happy and tells Pleakley not to rent any films for Lilo if she doesn't OK them first.
- "Eureka!" Moment: After Lilo and the rest of the 'Ohana find their house in ruins, Nani explains the circumstances that led to this and concludes that Stitch is afraid of being loved. While they're trying to find the reason as to why, Pleakley entertains the possibility that he fears losing his love, finally allowing Lilo to put the pieces together.
- Face–Heel Turn: Stitch's first attempt to make his 'Ohana hate him is to join Gantu, but after Gantu shows him kindness, he fearfully abandons him.
- Heroic BSoD: Stitch's first nightmare takes a big toll on his emotional well-being, to the point where he feels anger and hate in Lilo's embrace.
- Lightning Reveal: When Nani gets inside the Pelekai household, she sees a shadow in the kitchen, and a flash of lightning reveals it to be Stitch.
- Mayfly–December Friendship: Stitch's fear of his perceived longer lifespan lies in the fact that he'll end up outliving all of his loved ones. Fortunately, Jumba reveals that his actual lifespan is just 95 to 105 Earth years.
- Microwave Misuse: Stitch destroys most of the Pelekai house by putting two cans of spray paint in the microwave to make it explode.
- Mirror Reveal: The story ends with a repeat of Stitch's second nightmare, but this time, Stitch goes to look at himself in the mirror... revealing that he has grown old as well, finally granting him the relief he needed.
- Mondegreen Gag: After Lilo shouts "I hope you get decapitated by a MacLeod!" at Mertle for mocking her and Stitch, she and the other girls misinterpret her words as referring to a "mech cloud".
- My God, What Have I Done?: While Stitch feels guilt through all his attempts to make his family hate him, he has a more pronounced moment of this when Lilo and Jumba reveal his real lifespan, meaning that his deeds were all for nothing.
- Nightmare Sequence: Stitch has no less than two nightmares about his perceived immortality.
- The first one sees him visit the graves of Lilo, Nani, Jumba and Pleakley, before he finds gravestones all around him.
- In his second nightmare, he sees Lilo, Nani, Jumba and Pleakley all having aged into elders... while he hasn't aged a day.
- Oblivious Guilt Slinging:
- Lilo's very presence after Stitch helps capture Experiment 241 sends him into a pang of conscience, as he tries his best not to look at her... only for Lilo to come to him and cry about his absence and present actions. That's when Stitch finally snaps and lashes out at her.
- When Nani finds Stitch in her kitchen, every attempt she makes at treating him gently only upsets him further, partially because he's outright set to make her and the rest of his Ohana hate him, eventually leading to his Rage Breaking Point.
- Oh, Crap!: As Stitch attempts to betray his Ohana for Gantu, he enters his ship fully expecting to be treated horribly... only for Gantu to announce that he's giving him a great dinner and a large padded bed next to his own for his help. To make matters worse, 625 offers Stitch a Montecristo sandwich, which prompts a horrified Stitch to run away and try hurting his family even worse than before.
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Stitch being late for breakfast concerns Lilo and Nani, who even say it's unlike him to be late. It turns out he's attempting to run away from home.
- Rage Breaking Point: When Stitch attempts to get Nani to mistreat him, Nani is able to see the despair through his attempted anger. When she refuses, his anger gives way and he starts destroying their house.
- Regretful Traitor: After Stitch's attempt to run away fails, he finds himself forced to make his 'Ohana abandon him, first by joining Gantu and then by hurting them, and feels guilt all the way.
- The Runaway: Stitch's first attempt to abandon his 'Ohana is to run away from home, but their decision to use Finder to find him forces him to jettison that plan in order to come up with a new one.
- Sadistic Choice: As Stitch's fear of his immortality spirals out of control, he finds himself with only two options: hurting his 'Ohana until they abandon him, or stay with them and go through the pain of outliving them.
- A Storm Is Coming: When Nani comes home from her work, the weather becomes stormy, and it's not long before Stitch has a destructive rampage in their house.
- Stunned Silence:
- Lilo ends up stunned into silence after Stitch slaps her when she attempts to reason with him.
- When Nani finds out that Jumba, Pleakley, Lilo and Finder have left for a day to find out what's wrong with Stitch, she can only whisper "Oh no." despite her attempts to shout something.
- Tantrum Throwing: When Stitch rampages in the kitchen, he throws the fridge across the kitchen and into the living room, and he also tears down all the cupboards to toss on the floor.
- Trash the Set: After Stitch fails to get Nani to mistreat him so he won't have to destroy his feelings, he has a destructive rampage in the kitchen, smashes the table to pieces, throws the fridge across the kitchen and into the living room, tears down all the cupboards to toss them on the floor, and finally places two cans of spray paint in the microwave to make it explode, destroying most of the house. Fortunately, the epilogue mentions Jumba repairing the damage.
- Unabashed B-Movie Fan: Lilo and Stitch are mentioned to love watching B monster movies from the 1960s.
- Undying Loyalty: Lilo never stops trying to help Stitch combat his fears and insisting he can be helped, not even when he destroys her house.
- Unstoppable Rage: When Nani refuses to make Stitch hate her, Stitch starts going on a destructive rampage in the house to make her hate him.
- Who Wants to Live Forever?: Lilo states that this was her father's opinion on immortality: namely, outliving all of your loved ones and missing them forever.
