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Awesome / Seinfeld

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  • A telemarketer interrupts the scene with a pitch for a long distance service. What follows when Jerry picks up is a true Moment of Awesome, in typically mundane Seinfeld style, but utterly awesome nonetheless:
    Telemarketer: Hi, would you be interested in switching to TMI long distance service?
    Jerry: Oh gee, I can't talk right now, but why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later?
    Telemarketer: Uh, well I'm sorry, we're not allowed to do that.
    Jerry: Oh I guess you don't want people calling you at home.
    Telemarketer: N-no.
    Jerry: Well, now you know how I feel. (hangs up)
    • For those too young to remember, this episode happened during an EXTREMELY AGGRESSIVE telemarketing war between long-distance carriers. EVERYONE was fed up with getting calls from them CONSTANTLY. (To put the fake "TMI" in context, one of the WORST and most hated real-life offenders was "MCI." The similarity is probably not a coincidence.)
    • The scene has something of a sequel when Jerry gets a call asking: "Would you be interested in a subscription to the New York Times?" He simply says "Yes" and hangs up.
  • And for George there's the entire episode "The Opposite", in which he resolves to always do the exact opposite of his natural instinct and quickly gets a girlfriend, an apartment, and a job with the Yankees. Particularly good are his terrifying rant at the annoying guys behind him in a movie theater Transcript , and telling George Steinbrenner just what he thinks of him.
    • Particularly awesome is Steinbrenner's response: "Hire this man!"
    • Don't forget when he deduced the strategy to effectively pull off the Roommate Switch. Pity he tried using that to dump a no-longer-velvet-furnished girlfriend instead of the Pick.
    • After an apartment he's had his eye on is given to a survivor of the Andrea Doria simply because the condo board sympathized with his story, George retaliates by bringing the board to tears with his entire life story, which includes one of the greatest examples of And Another Thing... ever:
      "In closing, these stories have not been embellished, as they need no embellishment. They are simply the stories of my life as a short, stocky, slow witted, bald man. ...Oh, and my fiance died from licking toxic envelopes that I picked out. Thank you for your time."
  • In the finale, Newman - spurned once too often by Seinfeld - predicts his coming downfall with devastating accuracy:
    Alright! But hear me and hear me well! The day will come - oh yes, mark my words, Seinfeld! - your day of reckoning is coming! When an evil wind will blow through your little play-world and wipe that smug smile off your face! And I'll be there! In all my glory! Watching! Watching as it all comes crumbling down!!! (Evil Laugh)
    • After watching the four core characters screw over so many people over the years (even though it was done for comedic effect), seeing them get their comeuppance was very satisfying.
  • Kramer getting extremely close to figuring out George's PIN code in under a minute, just by analyzing George's character and watching George's reactions. George runs away after Kramer has it narrowed down to chocolate syrup.
  • After Kramer wins big at an off-track betting site, a mugger notices the money and follows him down into the subway, chasing Kramer through various trains. Eventually, Kramer bumps into a street performer he gave money to earlier. The mugger catches Kramer and demands he give him the money. Turns out, the performer was an undercover cop and arrests the mugger. Even the audience cheered.
  • Elaine getting one over on the Soup Nazi. After she's banned her from his store, she ends up buying an armoire that belonged to him at one point. The kicker? All of his recipes are still in there. At the end of the episode, she walks into his store and recites one of the recipes she's found, then tells him...
    Elaine: You're through, Soup Nazi. Now pack it up. No more soup for you. NEXT!
  • The bit in "The Fire", entirely off-screen, after Toby's pinky toe is cut off by a street sweeper. We see Kramer in Jerry's apartment telling the story of how put the toe in a Cracker Jack box filled with ice, hopped on a bus, and told the driver "I got a toe here buddy. Step on it." Then a mugger pulled out a gun. Then Kramer beat him up because he knew they couldn't delay. Then the driver passes out from the excitement.
    Kramer: The bus is OUTTA CONTROL! So I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get behind the wheel, and now I'm driving the bus!
    Jerry: Wow.
    George: You're Batman.
    Kramer: Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman! Then the mugger—he comes to and he starts choking me! So I'm fighting him off with one hand and driving the bus with the other, ya know? Then I managed to open up the door and I kicked him out the door, ya know, with my foot, ya know, at the next stop.
    Jerry: You kept making all the stops?!
    Kramer: Well, people kept ringing the bell!
    • Speaking of this episode, anyone who has ever had to put up with an obnoxious heckler will appreciate Jerry giving Toby a taste of her own medicine by going to her workplace and heckling her while she's trying to do her job in revenge for her ruining his show.
  • Sociopath Joe Davola gets one when he goes to the opera Pagliacci dressed as a clown. While walking through Central Park, three thugs start harassing him, prompting him to beat the living shit out of them without saying a word.
    • Another moment of Davola's might qualify: At the live filming of the pilot for Jerry and George's sitcom (Jerry), Joe Davola leaps out of the audience and off the balcony towards Jerry, brandishing a knife while shouting "SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS" ("Thus always to tyrants", mistranslated as "Death to tyrants")
      • For those without common knowledge, this was said by John Wilkes Booth prior to his assassination of Abraham Lincoln, and supposedly originated from Brutus, when he assassinated a certain famous Roman.
    • Elaine also gets one after discovering Joe's Stalker Shrine, escaping by spraying her perfume breath spray into his eyes.
  • One for both Kramer and Michael Richards: drinking beer and puffing on a cigarette at the same time. It should be physically impossible, yet there's the evidence.
    • Sorry to spoil this one, but in HD you can see the cigarette is outside the glass on the far side. However, it's still awesome as a trick rather than the real thing!
  • And of course, "The Marine Biologist." George's CMoA, the telling of which also serves as a CMoA for comic acting, pacing, and timing, from all four stars.
    Jumpmannnote : True fact
    This scene was written and then learned by the actors in ten minutes
    They did one take
    This had the longest continuous laugh in the show's history
    Praise Seinfeld 
  • Jerry winning the 20-meter-dash against his old high school rival Duncan Meyer, to the sounds of John Williams' "Superman" theme.
  • Michael Richards has said that Kramer's "defining moment" was the second season episode "The Statue."
  • Frank Costanza after finding out Morty Seinfeld lied about there not being any available condos in the area he's just moved to: "This is Frank Costanza. You think you can tell me where to live? We're moving in lock, stock, and barrel. We're gonna be in the pool, we're gonna be in the clubhouse, we're gonna be all over that shuffleboard court, and I DARE YOU TO KEEP ME OUT!"
  • Peterman confronting Elaine over eating his antique piece of cake. "Do you know what happens to a butter-based frosting after six decades in a poorly ventilated English basement? Well, I have a feeling that what you are about to go through is punishment enough. Dismissed!"
  • One for the set designers: the incredibly realistic sets in "The Parking Garage" were the victim of an Award Snub because they were too convincing, and the Emmy voters assumed the episode was filmed in a real parking garage!
  • The "Notes About Nothing" trivia subtitles on the DVD keep a count of Kramer's entrances into Jerry's apartment, and reveal that his big "I'm out!" scene in "The Contest," definitely the most famous of all his entrances, is actually the 100th time he entered the apartment onscreen. What the hell are the odds of that?
    • The season two Notes About Nothing mention that after Kramer leaves when he sees a woman at a bus stop, Michael Richards made an unauthorised entry with a woman wearing a trench coat, who then stripped down to a g-string, apparently as a joke on either Jerry Seinfeld or Jason Alexander.
  • Wilford Brimley's One-Scene Wonder appearance as the Postmaster General. "It's the job of a general to BY GOD GET THINGS DONE!"
  • The making of the episode "The Outing." NBC execs were worried that it would offend the homosexual community, so the line "Not that there's anything wrong with that" was added after every problematic line. Not only did it solve the problem, but also became one of the show's most popular lines, and also nicely mocked the people who made the objections by pointing out how ridiculous it would be to have some kind of standardized disclaimer after anything potentially offensive.
  • George decides to keep his job at Play Now despite everyone hating him, and one day finds the door to his office is boarded shut.note  He gets in through the air vent, and calls his boss's secretary. "If he needs to see me, tell him I'm IN MY OFFICE!"
  • Elaine's internal monologue from "The Hot Tub" as she finally breaks her writer's block, which doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming:
    ELAINE: Ohhh, I'm exhausted. I've been on this street a thousand times! It's never looked so strange! The cold! In the distance, a child is crying. Fatherless...a bastard child, perhaps. My back heart aches...but my feet (stops to look at her feet) feet are resilient! (a big smile grows in her face, as she thinks...) Thank God I took off my heels, and put on my... HIMALAYAN WALKING SHOES!!! (lifting her arms up in the air, in ecstasy, as she says...) Yes!
  • Kramer gets even with Cable TV servicemen who deliver crappy customer service by turning the tables on one of them. Watch it in all its glory.
  • "The Trip Part 2": The police detective who interrogates Kramer, suspected of being the serial killer.
    Kramer: I didn't kill anyone, I swear! I swear to God!
    Lt. Martel: Don't you ever swear to my God, Kramer. My God is the god who protects the innocent and punishes the evil scum like you, have you got that?
    Kramer: You're making a big mistake.
    Lt. Martel: No! You have made the mistake, Kramer. Sickies like you always do. The only difference is that this time you're gonna pay.
    Kramer: What?
    Lt. Martel: Now you might beat the gas chamber Kramer, but as long as I have got a breath in my body you will never ever see the light of day again.
    Kramer: Wow wow wow wow, you've got the wrong man!! It wasn't me!
    Lt. Martel: Oh yeah, right. Maybe it was one of your other personalities, huh? The "wise guy", the little kid, the bellhop, the ball player, maybe the door to door vacuum cleaner salesman, but not you, right? No, you wouldn't hurt a fly. You just couldn't help yourself, could you Kramer? You saw life brimming brightly with optimism and verve and you just had to snuff it out.
    Kramer: Okay, can I just talk to somebody? Can I just explain...
    Lt. Martel: I'm not interested in your explanations, Kramer! Sure, I bet you've got a million of 'em. Maybe your mother didn't love you enough, maybe the teacher didn't call on you in school when you had your little hand raised, maybe the pervert in the park had a present in his pants, huh? Well, I've got another theory Kramer: you're a weed.
    Kramer: No...
    Lt. Martel: Society is filled with them. They're choking the life out of the all pretty flowers.
    (Kramer sobs)
    Lt. Martel: You see something even remotely pretty and you have to choke the life out if it, don't you Kramer? You killed all the pretty flowers, didn't you Kramer? You killed the pretty little flowers, didn't you? You dirty, filthy, stinky weed! Didn't you?!
    (phone rings)
    Officer: Lieutenant, it's for you.
    Lt. Martel: Martel. (listening) Yeah... yeah... yeah... yeah. (hangs up)
    Officer: What it is, Lieutenant?
    Lt. Martel: Let him go.
    Officer: What, but Lieutenant?
    Lt. Martel: You heard me, let him go. They just found another body at the Laurel Canyon. Go on Kramer, get out of my sight.
    Kramer: Hey, how did you know about the guy in the park?
    Lt. Martel: I said beat it!
  • The very concept of "The Chinese Restaurant." Back in 1991, the idea of the main characters waiting around to get a table, in real time, and failing to get one was unheard of. When the episode was sent to NBC, they were aghastnote  and refused to air it until near the end of the season out of the belief that no one would like it. Not only was the episode beloved by critics, but it would eventually turn out to be one of, if not the, defining episodes of Seinfeld.
  • After George threatens to break up to get some control in his relationship, referred to as "hand," the woman turns the tables on him in a glorious display for anyone who's been on the receiving end of this kind of thing, complete with huge applause from the audience.
    "I am breaking up with you!"
    "You can't break up with me, I have hand!"
  • Elaine instantly turns one of Jerry's burns back on him.
    Elaine: Your standards are too high.
    Jerry: I went out with you.
    Elaine: That's because my standards are too low.
  • George's real life game of Frogger in a desperate attempt to get the game across the street to plug it in and preserve his high score. No special effects are involved; we're actually watching Jason Alexander pushing an arcade game through slow-moving traffic expertly timed to allow him a path through it, and at the end it really is him standing in front of a truck bearing down at full speed and just barely diving away in time.
  • Marisa Tomei punching George in "The Cadillac".
  • George gets hit with some Laser-Guided Karma for his role in, and total indifference to, Susan's death in Season 7 finale "The Invitations" in Season 8 finale "The Summer of George." While bringing Jerry some party invitations he was supposed to order for his girlfriend (from the same store), he slips on an invitation, falls down a flight of stairs, and is told that he needs to spend the rest of the summer relearning to walk. After commenting, "Wow, invitations again," his friends blandly decide to get coffee and leave him at the hospital.

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