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-->'''Telemarketer''': Hi, would you be interested in switching to [[StealthPun TMI]] long distance service?
-->'''Jerry''': Oh gee, I can't talk right now, but why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later?
-->'''Telemarketer''': Uh, well I'm sorry, we're not allowed to do that.
-->'''Jerry''': Oh I guess you don't want people calling you at home.
-->'''Telemarketer''': N-no.
-->'''Jerry''': Well, now you know how I feel. ''(hangs up)''

to:

-->'''Telemarketer''': Hi, would you be interested in switching to [[StealthPun TMI]] long distance service?
-->'''Jerry''':
service?\\
'''Jerry''':
Oh gee, I can't talk right now, but why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later?
-->'''Telemarketer''':
later?\\
'''Telemarketer''':
Uh, well I'm sorry, we're not allowed to do that.
-->'''Jerry''':
that.\\
'''Jerry''':
Oh I guess you don't want people calling you at home.
-->'''Telemarketer''': N-no.
-->'''Jerry''':
home.\\
'''Telemarketer''': N-no.\\
'''Jerry''':
Well, now you know how I feel. ''(hangs up)''



* And for George there's the entire episode "The Opposite", in which he resolves to always do the exact opposite of his natural instinct and quickly gets a girlfriend, an apartment, and a job with the Yankees. Particularly good are his terrifying rant at the annoying guys behind him in a movie theater, and telling George Steinbrenner just what he thinks of him.

to:

* And for George there's the entire episode "The Opposite", in which he resolves to always do the exact opposite of his natural instinct and quickly gets a girlfriend, an apartment, and a job with the Yankees. Particularly good are his terrifying rant at the annoying guys behind him in a movie theater, theater [[labelnote:Transcript]]("Shut your traps and stop kicking the seats! We're trying to watch the movie! If I have to tell you again, I'm gonna take you outside and I'm gonna show you what it's like! You understand me? Now shut your mouths, or I'll shut them for you. And if you think I'm kidding, just try me. Try me. Because I would ''love'' it!")[[/labelnote]], and telling George Steinbrenner just what he thinks of him.


'''Kramer''': Well, [[CompletelyMissingThePoint people kept ringing the bell]]!

to:

'''Kramer''': Well, [[CompletelyMissingThePoint [[ComicallyMissingThePoint people kept ringing the bell]]!



* The making of the episode "The Outing." NBC execs were worried that it would offend the homosexual community, so the line "Not that there's anything wrong with that" was added after every problematic line. Not only did it solve the problem, but also became one of the show's most popular lines, and also nicely mocked the people who made the objections by pointing out how ridiculous it would be to have some kind of standardized disclaimer after anything potentially offensive.

to:

* The making of the episode "The Outing." NBC execs were worried that it would offend the homosexual community, so the line "Not "[[NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat Not that there's anything wrong with that" that]]" was added after every problematic line. Not only did it solve the problem, but also became one of the show's most popular lines, and also nicely mocked the people who made the objections by pointing out how ridiculous it would be to have some kind of standardized disclaimer after anything potentially offensive.



* George's real life game of Frogger in a desperate attempt to get the game across the street to plug it in and preserve his high score. No special effects are involved; we're actually watching Jason Alexander pushing an arcade game through slow-moving traffic expertly timed to allow him a path through it, and at the end it really is him standing in front of a truck bearing down at full speed and just barely diving away in time.

to:

* George's real life game of Frogger ''VideoGame/{{Frogger}}'' in a desperate attempt to get the game across the street to plug it in and preserve his high score. No special effects are involved; we're actually watching Jason Alexander pushing an arcade game through slow-moving traffic expertly timed to allow him a path through it, and at the end it really is him standing in front of a truck bearing down at full speed and just barely diving away in time.


* And of course, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u8KUgUqprw "The Marine Biologist."]] George's [=CMoA=], the telling of which also serves as a [=CMoA=] for comic acting, from all four stars.

to:

* And of course, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u8KUgUqprw "The Marine Biologist."]] George's [=CMoA=], the telling of which also serves as a [=CMoA=] for comic acting, pacing, ''and'' timing, from all four stars.stars.
-->'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u8KUgUqprw&lc=UggcN7TUxir94HgCoAEC Jumpmann]][[note]]Youtube commentator[[/note]]''': True fact
-->This scene was written and then learned by the actors in ten minutes
-->They did one take
-->This had the longest continuous laugh in the show's history
-->Praise Seinfeld 


* Kramer gets even with Cable TV servicemen who deliver crappy customer service by turning the tables on one of them. [[https://youtu.be/WhWavua-1FI Watch it in all its glory.]]

to:

* Kramer gets even with Cable TV servicemen who deliver crappy customer service by turning the tables on one of them. [[https://youtu.be/WhWavua-1FI [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj_MYW9uDrA Watch it in all its glory.]]


-->'''Elaine:''' That's because my standards are too low.

to:

-->'''Elaine:''' That's because my standards are too low.low.
* George's real life game of Frogger in a desperate attempt to get the game across the street to plug it in and preserve his high score. No special effects are involved; we're actually watching Jason Alexander pushing an arcade game through slow-moving traffic expertly timed to allow him a path through it, and at the end it really is him standing in front of a truck bearing down at full speed and just barely diving away in time.

Added DiffLines:

** Speaking of this episode, anyone who has ever had to put up with an obnoxious heckler will appreciate Jerry giving Toby a taste of her own medicine by going to her workplace and heckling her while she's trying to do her job in revenge for her ruining his show.


-->[[ADateWithRosiePalms "And you're gonna need it."]]

to:

-->[[ADateWithRosiePalms "And you're gonna need it."]]"]]
* Elaine instantly turns one of Jerry's burns back on him.
-->'''Elaine:''' Your standards are too high.
-->'''Jerry:''' I went out with you.
-->'''Elaine:''' That's because my standards are too low.


* The ''very concept'' of "The Chinese Restaurant." Back in 1991, the idea of the main characters waiting around to get a table, in real time, and ''failing'' to get one was unheard of. When the episode was sent to NBC, they were aghast[[note]]They actually thought ''pages were missing'' from the script they were sent[[/note]] and refused to air it until near the end of the season [[ItWillNeverCatchOn out of the belief that no one would like it]]. Not only was the episode beloved by critics, but it would eventually turn out to be one of, if not ''the'', defining episodes of Seinfeld.

to:

* The ''very concept'' of "The Chinese Restaurant." Back in 1991, the idea of the main characters waiting around to get a table, in real time, and ''failing'' to get one was unheard of. When the episode was sent to NBC, they were aghast[[note]]They actually thought ''pages were missing'' from the script they were sent[[/note]] and refused to air it until near the end of the season [[ItWillNeverCatchOn out of the belief that no one would like it]]. Not only was the episode beloved by critics, but it would eventually turn out to be one of, if not ''the'', defining episodes of Seinfeld.Seinfeld.
* After George threatens to break up to get some control in his relationship, referred to as "hand," the woman turns the tables on him in a glorious display for anyone who's been on the receiving end of this kind of thing, complete with huge applause from the audience.
-->"''I'' am breaking up with ''you''!"
-->"You can't break up with me, I have hand!"
-->[[ADateWithRosiePalms "And you're gonna need it."]]


* Elaine getting one over on the Soup Nazi. After he's banned her from his store, she ends up buying an armoire that belonged to him at one point. The kicker? All of his recipes are still in there. At the end of the episode, she walks into his store and recites one of the recipes she's found, then tells him...

to:

* Elaine getting one over on the Soup Nazi. After he's she's banned her from his store, she ends up buying an armoire that belonged to him at one point. The kicker? All of his recipes are still in there. At the end of the episode, she walks into his store and recites one of the recipes she's found, then tells him...


'''Lt. Martel''': I said beat it!

to:

'''Lt. Martel''': I said beat it!it!
* The ''very concept'' of "The Chinese Restaurant." Back in 1991, the idea of the main characters waiting around to get a table, in real time, and ''failing'' to get one was unheard of. When the episode was sent to NBC, they were aghast[[note]]They actually thought ''pages were missing'' from the script they were sent[[/note]] and refused to air it until near the end of the season [[ItWillNeverCatchOn out of the belief that no one would like it]]. Not only was the episode beloved by critics, but it would eventually turn out to be one of, if not ''the'', defining episodes of Seinfeld.


* Kramer gets even with Cable TV servicemen who deliver crappy customer service by turning the tables on one of them. [[https://youtu.be/WhWavua-1FI Watch it in all its glory.]]

to:

* Kramer gets even with Cable TV servicemen who deliver crappy customer service by turning the tables on one of them. [[https://youtu.be/WhWavua-1FI Watch it in all its glory.]]]]
* "The Trip Part 2": The [[OneSceneWonder police detective]] who interrogates Kramer, suspected of being the serial killer.
--> '''Kramer''': I didn't kill anyone, I swear! I swear to God!\\
'''Lt. Martel''': Don't you ''ever'' swear to ''my'' God, Kramer. My God is the god who protects the innocent and punishes the evil scum like you, have you got that?\\
'''Kramer''': You're making a big mistake.\\
'''Lt. Martel''': No! ''You'' have made the mistake, Kramer. Sickies like you always do. The only difference is that this time you're gonna pay.\\
'''Kramer''': What?\\
'''Lt. Martel''': Now you might beat the gas chamber Kramer, but as long as I have got a breath in my body you will never ever see the light of day again.\\
'''Kramer''': Wow wow wow wow, you've got the wrong man!! It wasn't me!\\
'''Lt. Martel''': Oh yeah, right. Maybe it was one of your other personalities, huh? The "wise guy", the little kid, the bellhop, the ball player, maybe the door to door vacuum cleaner salesman, but not you, right? No, you wouldn't hurt a ''fly''. You just couldn't help yourself, could you Kramer? You saw life brimming brightly with optimism and verve and you just had to snuff it out.\\
'''Kramer''': Okay, can I just talk to somebody? Can I just explain...\\
'''Lt. Martel''': I'm not interested in your explanations, Kramer! Sure, I bet you've got a million of 'em. Maybe your mother didn't love you enough, maybe the teacher didn't call on you in school when you had your little hand raised, maybe the pervert in the park had a present in his pants, huh? Well, I've got another theory Kramer: you're a weed.\\
'''Kramer''': No...\\
'''Lt. Martel''': Society is filled with them. They're choking the life out of the all pretty flowers.\\
''(Kramer sobs)''\\
'''Lt. Martel''': You see something even remotely pretty and you have to choke the life out if it, don't you Kramer? You killed all the pretty flowers, didn't you Kramer? You killed the pretty little flowers, didn't you? You dirty, filthy, stinky weed! Didn't you?!\\
''(phone rings)''\\
'''Officer''': Lieutenant, it's for you.\\
'''Lt. Martel''': Martel. ''(listening)'' Yeah... yeah... yeah... yeah. ''(hangs up)''\\
'''Officer''': What it is, Lieutenant?\\
'''Lt. Martel''': Let him go.\\
'''Officer''': What, but Lieutenant?\\
'''Lt. Martel''': You heard me, let him go. They just found another body at the Laurel Canyon. Go on Kramer, get out of my sight.\\
'''Kramer''': [[NoodleIncident Hey, how did you know about the guy in the park?]]\\
'''Lt. Martel''': I said beat it!


** For those too young to remember, this episode happened during an EXTREMELY AGGRESSIVE telemarketing war between long-distance carriers. EVERYONE was fed up with getting calls from them CONSTANTLY. (To put the fake "TMI" in context, one of the WORST and most hated real-life offenders was "MCI." I doubt the similarity is a coincidence.)

to:

** For those too young to remember, this episode happened during an EXTREMELY AGGRESSIVE telemarketing war between long-distance carriers. EVERYONE was fed up with getting calls from them CONSTANTLY. (To put the fake "TMI" in context, one of the WORST and most hated real-life offenders was "MCI." I doubt the The similarity is probably not a coincidence.)

Added DiffLines:

** For those too young to remember, this episode happened during an EXTREMELY AGGRESSIVE telemarketing war between long-distance carriers. EVERYONE was fed up with getting calls from them CONSTANTLY. (To put the fake "TMI" in context, one of the WORST and most hated real-life offenders was "MCI." I doubt the similarity is a coincidence.)


** After an apartment he's had his eye on is given to a survivor of the Andrea Doria simply because the condo board sympathized with his story, George retaliates by bringing the board to tears with his entire life story, which includes one of the greatest example of AndAnotherThing ever:

to:

** After an apartment he's had his eye on is given to a survivor of the Andrea Doria simply because the condo board sympathized with his story, George retaliates by bringing the board to tears with his entire life story, which includes one of the greatest example examples of AndAnotherThing ever:


** After an apartment he's had his eye on is given to a survivor of the Andrea Doria simply because the condo board sympathized with his story, George retaliates by bringing the board to tears with his entire life story.

to:

** After an apartment he's had his eye on is given to a survivor of the Andrea Doria simply because the condo board sympathized with his story, George retaliates by bringing the board to tears with his entire life story.story, which includes one of the greatest example of AndAnotherThing ever:

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