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I think this example should be added to the main page for Disney's Bambi. Since I just learned the names for Thumper's sisters.

• All There in the Manual: While Thumper's sisters are unnamed in the original film and it's sequel. Only four of them are actually given names in the album "Peter Cottontail" which was sold at Disneyland in 1963. According to the album, Thumper's four sisters are named Blossom,Violet,Nillie, and Frillie.

edited 15th Mar '17 10:40:03 PM by brb1006

Close, but a few details are wrong: it's = contraction of it is, its = possessive it... that should be "its sequel", no apostrophe. Also, spaces after commas: "Blossom, Violet, Nillie, and Frillie."

edited 16th Mar '17 2:23:19 AM by rodneyAnonymous

@Karxrida on page 140

I don't see anything wrong with the English in that post.

@brb1006

Additional corrections:

• While Thumper's sisters are unnamed in the original film and it's sequel.

This is a sentence fragment: it needs something after it to make sense. Just delete the "While".

• in the album "Peter Cottontail" which was sold -> in the album "Peter Cottontail", which was sold

I'm going to add an Ensemble Dark Horse entry for Leroy & Stitch:

• Ensemble Dark Horse: The four armed experiment with a fruit headdress and maracas is very popular despite being a background character.

edited 16th Mar '17 7:03:04 AM by kennydarmawan13

My first time here to help.

Hmm. Looks good. I'd put a dash between four and armed, and maybe a comma after popular.

My concern is that could not be enough context.

edited 16th Mar '17 4:53:00 PM by jameygamer

For Mini-Mecha at Toys section:

• The Powered Guardian released by Kotobukiya is a mecha designed to be piloted by Frame Arms Girl or any other 1:12 figures (such as Figma and Revoltech), it is also compatible with M.S.G. weapons. On the other hand, it may cross Meta Mecha territory if the unit is piloted by Frame Arms themselves.
• Kotobukiya also released Vital Suit figures.
• Bandai once released the Ride Armor model kit in the Mega Armor Series, in which it can transform from Chimera Ride Armor into Hawk Ride Armor by swapping the parts, and they have planned to release the Ride Armor used by Vile for the D-Arts line. However, the latter was never released.

This is a run-on sentence (two separate sentences grafted together). It should be split up into two sentences like so:

• Bandai once released the Ride Armor model kit..., in which it can transform ->
  • Bandai once released the Ride Armor model kit..., which can transform
• and they have planned to release -> and they planned to release

This is essentially another run-on sentence (with an extra "and" in-between). It should be split up too.

Dragon Ball Super -> Tropes A to C (Edit #2, with corrections form Arivne.)

• Achilles' Heel: Being a Super Saiyan might give youa 50x power boost, but it also greatly weakens the immune system, causing toxins and diseases to worsen. Both Goku and Gohan made that mistake during their fight with Android 19 and Lavenda respectively.

Dragon Ball Super -> WMG:

Ok, hear me out on this. As was stated by the Elder Kai, fusion in a transformed state will make it permanent. But there may have been other issues with the fusion. First of all, Merged Zamasu's hair is white when it should have been pink, which should set off alarm bells. Second, even if Zamasu's Immorality was nerfed down to a Healing Factor, he would at least be able to just regenerate back to a normal state while running the risk of suffering from a Healing Factor Burnout or dying from extreme damage similar to how Kid Buu was defeated. But no, after taking damage his body began to deteriorate and fail due to a fusion with a transformed mortal which was then compounded by energy drainage from being a transformed state.

So I don't think that the fusion failed because it's just an immortal being merging with a mortal, but rather it was the mortal in question being in a transformation state that lead to the degeneration of their merged bodies. Zamasu and Black just put too much pressure on the former's immortality and it ended up becoming their undoing. Had Goku Black reverted to his base form, he would have made their body far more stable and that would have given him far more stamina and endurance, enough that even Vegeto would have been in deep shit, but on the flipside, having an unthinking Eldritch Abomination present would actually have been the better outcome, rather than having a thinking psychopath intercept Goku's chance to call (Future) Zen'o to bail them out.

edited 18th Mar '17 1:51:54 PM by xxlogos

• a 50x power boost but it -> a 50x power boost, but it

• Ok hear me out on this. -> O.K. (or OK), hear me out on this.
  • According to The Other Wiki, some people consider Ok to be correct.
• As it was stated by the Elder Kai -> As was stated by the Elder Kai
• should have been pink which should -> should have been pink, which should
• suffering form -> suffering from
• dying from extreme damage similar -> dying from extreme damage, similar
• to who Kid Buu was defeated. -> to how Kid Buu was defeated.
• after taking damage his body begun to -> after taking damage his body began to
• with a transformed being which was -> with a transformed being, which was

• that lead to the degenerate of -> that lead to the degeneration of
• reverted to his base form he would -> reverted to his base form, he would
• on the flipside having -> on the flipside, having
• present would actually -> present would have actually (or actually have)
• the better outcome, than to have -> the better outcome, rather than having
• psycopath interpect -> psychopath intercept

Any time you have a really long sentence like this, you should check to see if it would be better to break it up into smaller sentences. In this case the answer is yes.

edited 18th Mar '17 3:02:55 AM by Arivne

Here are some edits I have for Riverdale.

• Daddy's Girl: Its clear from the way that she talks about him, Veronica was very close to her father. Even after going through a major Broken Pedestal at discovering how corrupt he was, she still clearly loves him and openly calls him daddy.

• Adorkable: Normally he’s sarcastic and brooding. But following starting something with her, he gets noticeably shyer and more uncertain when around Betty.

• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Josie may be single minded, a perfectionist and at times a bit arrogant. But she truthfully isn’t a bad person. She's genuinely friends with Cheryl, and softens up ever so slightly towards Archie when he acknowledges that, being a white guy, he doesn't understand the discrimination Josie and her mom have dealt with. Really if she’s being nasty it’s a sign that something much more serious is going on in her personal life.

• Too Dumb to Live: Full of arrogance and lust, he honestly believed that two girls who the very day before had been passionately trying to take him down, would happily have a threesome with him.

• Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: His reaction to finding his son and Valarie hanging out together in Archie’s bedroom is to awkwardly ramble and try to be friendly, and then leave them with the door slightly open so he can look back in.
• We Used to Be Friends: His relationship with Forsythe. Back when they were younger he and FP were as close as Archie and Jughead are now, they worked on a van together, formed a band, and even founded Andrews Construction Company together. However after FP went off the wagon, Fred finally got sick of bailing him out, so instead bought him out of the company and fired him.

• The Sheriff: Of Riverdale, he spends the first season trying to find and apprehend Jason’s killer.

• The Alcoholic: His home is literally littered with bottles, he is seen drunk twice in the span of two days and Jughead outright states he “fell off the wagon.”
• Jaded Washout: Was formerly a very popular football player in high school, now FP is a man whose lost control of his life and his addictions, causing him to mostly loose his family.
• Parents as People: Forsythe does genuinely want to restore his family, go straight, clean up his life and be a good father to his son. But his issues and vices always get in the way.
• We Used to Be Friends: When they were younger, he and Fred Andrews were very close. However after events got out of control, Fred bought him out of his company then fired him.

• Bait-and-Switch: In “Chapter Four: The Last Picture Show” Kevin gets confronted by Joaquin (a member of the Southside Serpents, which he tried to shush earlier) who mockingly tells him he’s not so tough without Veronica. In their next scene Joaquin has Kevin pinned against a fence, giving the impression he’s throttling Kevin; until the camera pans out revealing there really making out.
• Wham Shot: In “Chapter Seven: In A Lonely Place” the episode ends by revealing that Forsythe (Jughead’s father) has Jason’s jacket in his cupboard.

edited 18th Mar '17 3:44:19 PM by MGD107

Thanks for letting me know the mistakes.

• All There in the Manual: Thumper's sisters are unnamed in the original film and its sequel. Only four of them are actually given names in the album "Peter Cottontail", which was sold at Disneyland in 1963. According to the album, Thumper's four sisters are named "Blossom, Violet, Nillie, and Frillie."

edited 19th Mar '17 4:51:09 PM by brb1006

@MGD 107

• Its clear -> It's clear (It is clear)
• about him, Veronica -> about him that Veronica
• how corrupt he was -> how corrupt he is (How to Write an Example - Write in Present Tense)
• calls him daddy. -> calls him "Daddy".

• brooding. But following -> brooding, but following

• arrogant. But she truthfully -> arrogant, but she truthfully
• Really if she’s -> Really, if she’s

• he honestly believed that two girls who -> he honestly believes that two girls, who

• Back when they were younger he -> Back when they were younger, he
• Jughead are now, they -> Jughead are now: they
• However after FP went -> However, after FP went

• Of Riverdale, he spends -> Of Riverdale. He spends

• Was formerly a -> Formerly a
• whose lost control of his life -> who's lost control of his life
• mostly loose his family. -> mostly lose his family.

• Forsythe does genuinely want -> Forsythe genuinely wants
• his son. But his -> his son, but his

• However after events...his company then -> However, after events...his company, then

• Picture Show” Kevin -> Picture Show”, Kevin
• throttling Kevin; until the -> throttling Kevin. Then the
• pans out revealing there really -> pans out, revealing they're really

• Lonely Place” the -> Lonely Place”, the

^^ No quotation marks around the names: Blossom, Violet, Nillie, and Frillie.

Alright got it, feel free for anyone to add this to the Bambi page.

• All There in the Manual: Thumper's sisters are unnamed in the original film and its sequel. Only four of them are actually given names in the album "Peter Cottontail", which was sold at Disneyland in 1963. According to the album, Thumper's four sisters are named Blossom, Violet, Nillie, and Frillie.

edited 19th Mar '17 4:51:30 PM by brb1006

Thanks.

I'll add a Were Still Relevant Dammit entry for Urban Rivals:

• Were Still Relevant Dammit: Sometimes, this game releases a character that is an OBVIOUS Expy to another character from a work way newer than the game itself. Take Ginnifer and Tariel as examples of this.

edited 20th Mar '17 1:07:28 AM by kennydarmawan13

"Expy to" > "Expy of"

Non-grammatical notes:

• If you're going to emphasize "obvious" I'd recommend italics instead of capitals ... but emphasizing it in the first place seems a tad overheated, and it might be best not to emphasize the word at all.
• "[F]rom a work way newer than the game itself" isn't ungrammatical, but "from a newer work" is less wordy and easier to understand.
• "Take Ginnifer and Tariel as examples of this." That's technically a sentence fragment. More importantly, though, it reads like a Zero Context Example, in which Ginnifer and Tariel are both expies of later characters. On the other hand, if you mean that Ginnifer is an expy of the later Tariel (or vice versa), I'd rephrase the sentence in a way that makes that clearer.

edited 20th Mar '17 8:19:19 AM by Jhimmibhob

Yeah, that whole thing is an elaborately worded zero-context example. Might be better to list the specific cases as sub-bullets.

Here's the updated version of these examples for the Happy Happy Clover page I posted last month.

• Gecko Ending: Since the manga only had 3 volumes back when the anime was made in 2007. The anime ended with Clover performing for the Spring Festival in front of all the animals in Crescent Forest. The final story of the manga ended with Clover finally being allowed to travel with Rambler.

• Distant Finale: After Rambler finally accepts Clover traveling with him. The story then transitions to a few years later, later where we see we see Clover (now as a young adult) who who visits Crescent Forest since she hadn't been there since she was little. We also get to see her friends as parents and Hickory babysitting Kale,Shallot and Mallow's babies.

• "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: The last entry to "Clover's Fun Doodle Pad" shows what the citizens of Crescent Forest have been up to after Clover became an explorer and traveler with Rambler.

• Recovery Sequence: After Clover saves Crescent Forest from an oncoming forest fire in the final story. We get to see Clover relearning how to walk on her two feet again without signs of pain or injury from her. This might have to do with how long Clover existed as a fish which resulted in her forgetting how to walk.

Also for the YMMV and main section for Sanrio

• Germans Love David Hasselhoff: Aggressive Retsuko has also started gaining a following with Western audiences, mainly from the Furry Fandom.

• Popular with Furries: The Aggressive Retsuko series has captured attention from the Western furry community sometime in mid 2015 or 2016. It helps that red pandas are a popular species with the Furry Fandom. As a result, Retsuko shows up pretty often in fanart.

• Breakout Character: My Melody's best friend Piano The Sheep started out as a supporting character of the series and the 2005 anime Onegai My Melody. Starting in 2014, Sanrio decided to give more focus to her and she was even given the nickname "My Sweet Piano", complete with her own set of merchandise. This resulted in Piano appearing more frequently and was prominent during My Melody's 40th Anniversary celebrated by the company.

edited 21st Mar '17 7:41:33 AM by brb1006

Hello, I need someone to revise and change the Satellite Character example from Ruri on Yuzu's Counterparts page in the character section, given that the current one is full of innaccuracies, headcanons and Padding:

• Satellite Character: Beyond her status as Yuzu's Xyz counterpart everything about her characterization revolves around others: She's Kurosaki's little sister, Yuto's Love Interest and her kidnapping is a source of guilt for Sayaka; at most during her and her brother's duel we learned that they had a bit of a strained relationship which is quickly resolved within the same episode and never brought up again.

Also I would appreciate if someone would also erase the Proper Lady entry, given that the character in question never exhibits said behaviour on-screen and it's also a popular headcanon.

Thank you.

edited 20th Mar '17 8:14:58 PM by RoseBride

Plan to add this to Solo Tabletop Game, under Tabletop RPG folder.

• Mythic Role Playing features an independent Game Master Emulation rules which are composed of charts and tables that allow a player to randomize events with dice rolls. The GM Emulation rules outshine the game itself and is highly recommended by solo roleplayers that the publisher eventually sell it separately.

edited 20th Mar '17 10:42:09 PM by Kuruni

For Tin-Can Robot:

• Back in post-WWI era, Japam and Germany were the primary manufacturers of tin toys, they were inexpensive and easy for mass production. While the World War II halted the production of tin toys in Japan and Germany, it received a resurgence when the U.S. toy companies began outsourcing tin toy productions to Japan after the war. Then Japanese toy manufacturers started to innovate the tin toy designs by creating battery-powered and even remote-controlled toy robots. Nowadays, tin toy robots have become obsolete due to the use of cheaper materials such as ABS and PVC plastics becoming more prominent. However, this turns tin toy robots into valuable collector's items and Metal House, the sole surviving tin robot manufacturer in Tokyo is still manufacturing tin robots in present days.

edited 21st Mar '17 4:51:45 AM by Mhazard

@brb1006

• The story then...later, later...we see we see...who who -> You see the problem problem, right? :)
• Kale,Shallot -> Kale, Shallot
• existed as a fish which -> existed as a fish, which

• has captured attention...sometime in -> captured attention...sometime in

• Onegai My Melody -> Onegai My Melody
• This resulted in Piano...and was prominent -> This resulted in Piano...and she was prominent
• My Melody's 40th Anniversary celebrated by the company. ->
  • the company's celebration of My Melody's 40th Anniversary

edited 21st Mar '17 4:32:54 AM by Arivne

@Rose Bride

• uzu's Xyz counterpart everything -> uzu's Xyz counterpart, everything
• at most during her -> at most, during her
• we learned that -> we learn that (How to Write an Example - Write in Present Tense)
• strained relationship which -> strained relationship, which

This is a really long run-on sentence and should be split up into smaller sentences.