Web Video / Metal Gear Solid The Abridged Snakes

Metal Gear Solid The Abridged Snakes is an Abridged Series of Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes made by LordQuadros on YouTube.

Sons of Abridgerty is the sequel, parodying Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty. Proposed as an April Fool's Day joke long before the first series was over, this series nevertheless became a legitimate Abridged Series. During this series, Quadros also abridged Metal Gear and Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake.

Has been concluded, with an abridged series of Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater announced in The Stinger. However, after an announced hiatus (citing a disenchantment with the Metal Gear series following Ground Zeroes as a reason), Lord Quadros teased and then premiered Puns of the Patriots, a parody of Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. Although halfway through the series, it segued into a premiere for Snake Theater.

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These series contains examples of:

Metal Gear Abridged

• Expy: Most of the bosses in this game appear to reference the team from Team Fortress 2:
  • Shotmaker is The Heavy, complete with action and mentions of "sandvich" and "boolets".
  • Machinegun Kid has the same attitude as The Soldier.
  • Fire Trooper is The Pyro, complete with the Pyro's speech patterns. By this point Snake even lampshades it.
  • Dirty Duck is The Sniper, with the same accent and estranged relationship with his parents.
• Mythology Gag: In the Stinger, Big Boss tells Snake he'll have Naked Snake's REVENGE!!! then immediately says it sounds stupid.
• Shout-Out:
  • One prisoner tells Snake that Dr. Madnar is "in another castle".
  • One made to Snatcher when Snake first meets Dr. Madnar.
  • The aforementioned Team Fortress 2 jokes.
• Vader Breath: Fire Trooper

Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake Abridged

• And This Is for...: After Black Ninja reveals himself to be Kyle Schneider, Snake claims to have known the whole time.
  Kyle Schneider: You knew? But why-
  Snake: That's for letting me walk into the gas chamber without a mask in Outer Heaven! My voice hasn't been the same since, you bastard!
• Ass Pull: Parodied. Big Boss reveals his connection to Snake very hastily, as their relationship was basically Retconned into existence in the source material. invoked
  Big Boss: SNAAAAAKE! This isn't over! It's not over yeeeeet...bythewayI'myourdad AAAAARGHH! (explodes).
• Call-Forward: There are several references to Metal Gear Solid. Normally these would just be Foreshadowing, but Metal Gear 2 was abridged after Metal Gear Solid
  • After their fight, Grey Fox tells Snake not to make him come back as a cyborg and kick his butt.
  • Snake vows to move to Alaska and never do covert ops again, even if it involves his previously unknown twin brother.
  • Big Boss can heard conversing with Ocelot on the phone about some pictures and a letter after Snake kills Gray Fox.
• Hoist by His Own Petard: Said almost word for word by Running Man.
  Running Man: I have been hoisted by my own retard.
  Snake: I think it's pronounced "petard".
  Running Man: I know what I said.
• Lame Pun Reaction: Snake opts for Punctuated Pounding when he decides he's had enough of Grey Fox's fox-based puns.
  Enough! Fox! Puns!
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here:
  • Holly White after Snake rescues her.
  • Snake's quite bitter about Foxhound by the time he's done.
• Shout-Out: "You'll find Frank again, and have "two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly!"
• Take That!:
  • One aimed at Konami and, somewhat riskily, Policenauts, it being one of Kojima's pre-MGS games.
    Snake: And that wonderful Konami, have they ever made a bad game? [collage of Konami games followed by the words "DEAL WITH IT"]
  • "Let's see this message. 'Help: WIS Ohio.' Dear God! Those bastards are keeping him in Ohio! Oh wait, I have it upside down."

The Abridged Snakes

• Anachronism Stew: During the silent film episode, Snake can't be bothered to keep his references consistence within any one time period. Liquid calls him out on it.
• Anti-Hero: According to Liquid, Snake. It's even lampshaded
  Liquid: You, the anti-hero who crosses the line of morality so frequently and with such audacity, that it brings out the cheapest of laughs.
• Art Shift: Episode 7 is done in silent film style, due to technical difficulties on LordQuadros's part.
  • Or because it made a handy in-universe excuse to do a silent film episode that had been planned beforehand.
• Author Filibuster: The finale has Liquid and Snake debating abridging ethics. An odd case in that, while both sides have flaws in their arguments, neither side is entirely wrong, either.
• A Wizard Did It: Whenever Snake asks for explanations to certain illogicalities (such as how he can use the Codec without being heard, or how his informant knows his exact location), he just gets the answer "Magic!".
• Bait-and-Switch Comment:
  Snake: You've got to get me out of here. My roomate (the dead "DARPA Chief) is...
  Otacon: Oh my god! He's...black!
• Blatant Lies: Naomi recalls how Gray Fox had told her multiple times that he had absolutely nothing to do with the deaths of her parents. The pre-edited version of her monologue had her detail that he came to her covered in red liquid that he assured her was Kool-Aid.
• Bond One-Liner: After Snake blows up Liquid's Hind.
  Snake: Say hi to Dad for me. *beat* Oh, and Baker.
• Even Evil Has Standards: Revolver Ocelot does an anti-drug PSA.
• Everyone Has Standards: Snake is horrified by Liquid's plan to get rid of copyright laws.
• Grammar Nazi: Snake, in the ending with Meryl.
• Hand Wave: The less you know why the terrorist want Big Boss's remains, the better.
• I'm a Humanitarian: Snake decides that leaving a large, perfectly good body is a waste (and expresses relief that he can give up rations) and at one point expresses a strong desire to eat Sniper Wolf for revenge.
• Ironic Echo: "Stop being a bitch and grow some stones"
• Jerkass: Snake proudly admits to being an enormous asshole (to the point where even Ocelot is disgusted by him).
• Jump Physics: "Eat me, Newton!"
• Lame Comeback:
  Campbell: Snake, what the Hell! You're letting Meryl die!
  Snake: Colonel, remember your heart condition.
  Campbell: No, YOU remember your heart condition...IN HELL!
• Larynx Dissonance: Naomi, and good lord, Mei Ling.
  Snake: "Was that someone trying to speak English or vomiting?"
• Minor Flaw, Major Breakup: At the very end of the show Snake is disgusted by Meryl's bad grammar and he almost openly states he's going to abandon her... but she doesn't seem to notice a trap.
• Mooks: You know what, I'm just going to stop linking to the Lampshade Hanging page.
  Snake: Another intruder? My God, these guards are so freaking incompetent.
• No Fourth Wall: Accentuates the source material's lack of a fourth wall up to eleven.
  • Broken even worse during the Psycho Mantis fight, where he steals the script.
  • In the remake of the same episode, Campbell tells Snake to click the portrait of Kojima to defeat Mantis. Doing so links to the next episode.
• Obviously Evil: Houseman. His daily routine is so evil and crosses the line so many times, you'd think he just wanted a reaction out of Snake.
• Retraux: One of the episodes is done in the style of a silent movie.
• Shout-Out: Oh soooo many.
  • For example:
  Liquid: This is no Hind boy, no Hind.
• Sound-Effect Bleep: The alert sound, of course.
  • Used in the theme song ("America (F(!) Yeah!)") to great effect.
  • Accidentally missed in one instance, noted in the video comments.
    Sniper Wolf: I'm not your fucking secretary.
• Take That!: A Mika Banhara zinger results in LordQuadros lampshading it with a titlecard reading "LQ Alienates the Viewers Part 1: A Robot Alchemic Drive Reference".
• Very Special Episode: Parodied when Revolver Ocelot of all people breaks into one, about Sniper Wolf's tranquiliser addiction problem.
  Snake: Is this supposed to be my torture?

Sons of Abridgerty

• Ambiguously Gay: Snake. "We're here, we're queer... I mean, all for one and one fo- forget it." (walks away)
  • The one mass-produced RAY asking Raiden for a kiss.
  • Ocelot, per source material, but definitely turned up to eleven.
• As You Know: Campbell in Episode 1 explains the origins of the Big Shell, just as in the source material. Raiden has no idea why.
  Raiden: Again, these are things that everybody in the world knows...But go on...
• Bait-and-Switch: Episode 0 starts with the intro speech to Snake Eater instead of Snake's MGS2 intro, but starts up normally afterward.
  • In the series proper, Raiden attempts a Snake impersonation during the beginning of Episode 1, but Campbell tells him to "Knock that shit off".
• Better than a Bare Bulb: A lot of times. Vamp in particular moves on from making innuendos to being this, with regards to his role in the series.
• Blatant Lies: Campbell's instant denial of any other intruders being in the base even though Raiden just saw him.
• Boss Banter: Deconstructed. Solidus keeps taunting Raiden from within the Harrier, but it distracts and annoys Vamp, who is trying to pilot.
• Call-Forward: In regards to the source material, at least. In the finale, Solidus begins a sinister speech, but gets interrupted by Raiden, who is using the exact same words the original Raiden would later use against the Final Boss in Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance. Complete with raspier tone.
  Raiden: Typical politician! Big promises, but all talk!
  • A short video released at the beginning of 2014 using footage from the same playthrough has Otacon, Snake and Raiden predicting the future. Otacon and Snake start thinking about Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (because it's set in 2014) while Raiden headbangs to "Rules of Nature" from Revengeance. The other two give him weird looks.
• The Cameo: Paul Eiding as "Big Teddy" in the opening of Episode 9. Very much an Actor Allusion, given the part of the game that episode covers.
• Character Filibuster:
  • The Colonel AI (with help from the simulated Rosemary) goes on a four minute-long speech about how the failure of DMCA means nothing given that SOPA has been proposed, the Patriots' ultimate ambition to monetize abridging and parodying as advertisements for the source material, and how Raiden (and all the stale jokes in this series) has played perfectly into their hands, concluding that Raiden forms a perfect Audience Surrogate by being amused at such stale humour, covering both This Loser Is You and Take That, Audience!. This is very much in keeping with the original MGS2, where the Patriots rant at length about societal control.
  • Solid Snake has a particularly heartwarming one after the end credits roll, about how one really shouldn't care about corporatism or being hated when making original work, and that as long as you're proud of what you've done it's worth it in the end.
• Compressed Adaptation: It is an abridged series, after all. Still, it can be startling to see the entire Tanker half of the game squeezed into exactly 481 seconds.
• Deadpan Snarker: Almost everyone, but Fatman takes it and rollerskates away with it.
• Early-Bird Cameo: When Solidus asks who had thought up an idea of an electrified combat suit, we get a cutaway to Colonel Volgin and Raikov from Snake Eater.
• Funny Background Event: While Solidus and Vamp are trying to recover from the Harrier fight, Metal Gear RAY keeps nagging Ocelot to pay attention to him.
  • During Vamp's fight with Raiden, someone keeps droning over the PA system.
• Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Raiden, eating gunpowder, murdering people, all played for funny.
• Idiosyncratic Episode Naming: All but Episode 0 and the final episode are named after puns of Big Shell, Dead Cell, or Arsenal Gear.
• Idiot Ball: Snake points out how RAY, an anti-Metal Gear weapon, shouldn't be something they want to destroy.
  Otacon: This means we're against ALL models of Metal Gear, regardless of whether we end up shooting ourselves in the foot.
  Snake: Oh, I get it...So we're idiots, now.
  • Raiden electrocuting himself simply because Campbell tells him to.
• Incredibly Lame Pun: From Hitler of all people.
  Satan: I'm not seein' it.
  Hitler: Did somevone say "Nazi in it"?
• Large Ham: Most hamminess is rather subdued, but Solidus makes up for it. Even in-universe, he strives to be as dramatic as possible at all times.
• Mad Libs Dialogue: The Colonel AI falls into this as one would expect in Episode 9.
  Raiden: I need to find Snake first. He has my gear.
  "Campbell": No. You must defeat Solidus - IN THE NUDE - and retrieve Arsenal - IN THE NUDE.
• Mind Screw: It's Metal Gear Solid 2, a competitor for Mind-Screwiest video game out there. Of course this gets lampshaded repeatedly, to the point of the opening theme being Everything You Know Is Wrong.
  • Episode 10 "ends" multiple times, each with a variation of METAL GEAR SOLID in a reference to the Fission Mailed Trope Namer.
• My Friends... and Zoidberg: Used by "Campbell" about the PRESIDENT, no less.
• No Fourth Wall: Par for the course; Raiden trains for his mission by watching The Abridged Snakes, hoping to avoid visual gags and awkward tangents. Considering the source material, it didn't help him out in the least.
• Once an Episode: "Metal Gear?!...There, I said it. Now nobody has to repeat it in the comments EVER again."
  • "Stop saying Metal Gear!!"
• Only Sane Man: Zigzags. Raiden tried to keep track of all the crazy things happening but the counter ended up saying "FUCK THIS" but he has daft moments as well.
• Parrot Exposition: It is Metal Gear Solid.

  Ocelot: "Stop saying Metal Gear!!"

• Permission to Speak Freely: "P-p-permission to freak out sir... Sir?"
• Psychopathic Manchild: Metal Gear RAY
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech: In his final moments, Solidus gets a short, but pretty good one from George Washington.
• The Scream: Raiden's reaction to being told he has to talk to Rose.
• Sequel Hook: To the inevitable abridged series of Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater. Quadros himself talks to Snake and tells him that he can use a file on Emma's disc. That file has information on Operation Snake Eater.
• Serious Business: Mc Phayckneighm's view on cardboard boxes.
  • Arguably, Abridged Series within the context of the series.
• Shout-Out: Numerous; Episode 1 even starts with the definition of an Abridged Series found on this very site!
  • Episode 0 has Ocelot gives his name via a Mother/Earthbound screen.
  • Episode 7's fight with Vamp has Castlevania music playing in the background, complete with a song namedrop.
  Vamp: Don't you fancy yourself a vampire killer?
  • Episode 8 has the theme of Snake Eater playing backwards while Raiden and Emma climb down a very long ladder, a reference to Naked Snake's own climb up.
• Shown Their Work: "McPhayckneighm" states that although Shell 2 exploded, the hostages were fine because since it was Sunday, they were all in Shell 1. Raiden contests that it's actually Wednesday. April 29th, 2009 was a Wednesday.
• The Stinger: Announcing the future parody of Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.
• Sue Donym: Sudonimm McPhayckneighm
• Suspiciously Specific Denial: 'What are you implying? That I betrayed your father and killed him? Hah, what a ridiculous accusation. You're crazy, paranoid and dumb.'
• Synthetic Voice Actor: The mass-produced Metal Gears at the end are all "voiced" by CD-I Link.
• Take That!: "Campbell" is not amused by Raiden's Snake imitation, and says that while everyone and their mother thinks they can do a good Snake voice, they ALL suck. Note that LordQuadros already does an excellent Snake voice, so Raiden's impression is Stylistic Suck.
  • Raiden keeps trying to say The Cake Is a Lie. Mc Phayckneighm and Mr. X are not amused.
• Take That, Audience!: The Colonel AI's rant on how only the throwaway jokes were considered funny and that nobody appreciates creativity in this information age. Lampshade Hanging when he bets that people are about to down-vote the video and unsubscribe from the channel.
• Voice of the Legion: The second time Ocelot gets possessed by Liquid, Ocelot speaks in both their voices and not just Liquid's.
• "Weird Al" Yankovic: One of his songs, Everything You Know Is Wrong, is the opening theme.

Puns of the Patriots

• Cerebus Syndrome: Much like the source material, this Abridged Series is much Darker and Edgier than previous games. Jokes tend to be more understated and are used to shore up comparatively more serious discussions of Abridged Series and the legal shenanigans around them. As one commenter put it, the previous series were giving the Metal Gear series the Abridging treatment. Puns of the Patriots, on the other hand, gives Abridged Series the Metal Gear treatment.
• Cluster F-Bomb: Snake is taken aback when Laughing Octopus drops a Precision F-Strike and goes uncensored (previous uses of the F-bomb throughout the series were censored with a "!" sound effect). After learning about the censorship upgrades from Otacon and giving it a wary test, Snake spends the whole Laughing Octopus fight dropping the F-word left and right.
• Double Standard: Abuse, Female on Male: Johnny's response to Meryl slapping him while he's panicking? Remark that things could have been so much worse if their genders were reversed.
• Halfway Plot Switch: Instead of a proper Episode 9, the series is put on hiatus via "Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Theater, Episode -1." During which Big Mama narrates the events of Metal Gear Solid 3 to Snake.
• "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: During a Yet Another Christmas Carol spinoff, Snake sees Gray Fox as The Ghost of Christmas Past. Snake is initially skeptical, remarking that there's "more gravy than grave" about Gray Fox. Fox groans and chastises Snake for coming up with such an Incredibly Lame Pun, only for Snake to point out that Charles Dickens himself wrote that line verbatim in the source material.
• Serious Business: Continuing the theme, this time around, web parodies drive the global economy.
• Shout-Out: Soldiers for Private Abridging Contractors, or PACs, are called PAC-Men. Consequently, Pac-Man's death sound is played whenever they die.
• Unexplained Recovery: Snake is baffled when the other characters mention Dr. Madnar helped turn Raiden into a cyborg. They constantly brush him off when he, in disbelief, repeatedly reminds them that he killed him.

Snake Theater

• Call-Back: Episode 0 starts with the intro speech to Sons of Liberty instead of Snake's MGS3 intro but Snake is interrupted mid-sentence by Major Zero, who asks Snake what's he doing. This lampshaded further when Snake say he's doing a "thing" that people who watched Sons of Abridgety would catch.
• Shout-Out: The name of the new weapon Sokolov developed for the Soviets is called Shago the Hedgehod.
• Synthetic Voice Actor: Shago the Hedgehod is "voiced" by Shadow the Hedgehog.
• Translation Convention: When Sokolov compliments Snake's Russian, a confused Snake asks when he ever spoke Russian. Sokolov points out that they're speaking Russian right now. A still confused Snake remarks that it "sounded like Japanese."
• Wilhelm Scream: In contrast to the Pac-Man death noises from Puns of the Patriots, we hear several Wilhelm Screams in rapid succession as Ocelot guns down the KGB bodyguards. Doubles as Fridge Brilliance due to the Wilhelm Scream's usage having started in the 60's.

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