Giftedly Bad - Inge Wagner, and how.
Sailor 1: You okay? You look terrible.
Sailor 2: I have a really bad headache. I went to this club last night? It took me two hours to get in.
Sailor 1: Popular, eh?
Sailor 2: I guess so, although I don't know why. The music, it was the most horrible thing I've ever heard.
Sailor 1: Hey, I've been to places like that.
Sailor 2: No, you don't understand. I thought I understood what bad music was. This place... imagine that bad music is its own art form. The woman who was singing would be the Beethoven of bad music.
Sailor 1: Come on.
Sailor 2: First of all, it was operetta, which is bad enough.
Sailor 1: Ugh.
Sailor 2: What made it truly painful wasn't that it was completely out of key, although that was certainly unpleasant. It was that it was so... vicious. Like she was trying to kill the audience with her voice.
Sailor 1: Maybe she was.
Sailor 2: No, if you'd seen her you would know. She didn't realize how bad she was.
Sailor 1: What did she look like, anyway?
Sailor 2: Very large with bright, rosy cheeks. Dressed kind of like a milk maid.
Sailor 1: You're kidding.
Sailor 2: No, I'm not kidding.
Sailor 1: Was her name Inge Wagner?
Sailor 2: How did you know?
Sailor 1: She came aboard an hour ago.
Sailor 2: What?!
Sailor 1: It's true! Didn't you read the memo in the galley?
Sailor 2: I never read those!
Sailor 1: We're supposed to assemble on deck after breakfast tomorrow. For a motivational concert.
Sailor 2: I get it. Very funny! You really had me going for a moment there.
Sailor 1: I'm not joking.
Sailor 2: Please tell me that you are... I have to get off this ship. Maybe I can hide somewhere? Do you think they'll notice if I'm not there?
Sailor 1: I doubt it. Hell, I'll join you.
Spy Speak - One mission involves doing these. They all turn out to be crass come on/rejection exchanges, and the spies are apologetic.
- That conversation becomes a Brick Joke later when you find a letter that announces anyone who skips the "motivational concert" is automatically volunteered to be a test subject for HARM's next project.
Contact: Guten Abend Fraulein, do you make love to strangers?
Cate Archer: Certainly not!
Contact: Then allow me to introduce myself.
Cate Archer: Why not just introduce yourself to a police officer and spare me the trouble?
Contact: Who makes up these ghastly code phrases anyway?
Cate Archer: Someone in the cryptography department — someone in need of a girlfriend, apparently.
Contact: Want to come in for a game of Twister?
Cate Archer: I'd rather run over you with my car.
Contact: These code phrases have a somewhat confessional tone to them, don't you think?
Cate Archer: Yeah, now that you mention it...