You find yourself in an unfamiliar place.
It’s dark in here. Almost too dark. There’s not a person in sight. No sight, no sound, no smells-
Wait. That can’t be right. You strain your ears. There’s the familiar tik-takking of a computer keyboard coming from behind you, and the scent of what appears to be coffee is tickling your nose.
Now you think about it, it’s not really that dark at all. You glance around. A desk strewn with sketchbooks. A stained, empty mug on a precarious angle, threatening to fall off and break. A bean bag in the corner, comic books scattered haphazardly around it. A lava lamp on a shelf nearby. A TV and Playstation, you recognize some JRPG titles poking out from the cabinet next to it.
The tik-takking stops.
“That’s not very nice, ruining what could have been a suspenseful buildup like that,” says a voice from behind you.
You turn. There’s a girl sitting in an office chair, spinning it around leisurely. She’s clad in a T-shirt with a snarky quote and jeans. You spy a small laptop in her lap. She grins, places her feet on the floor and grinds the spinning to a halt.
“It’s also not very nice to barge into someone’s internet corner and not introduce yourself,” she scolds you. “Not off to a good start, are we now? But then again, I don’t do it, so I suppose I can excuse you.”
You’re not sure if you like this girl.
“You’ve been reading around in the Troper Tales pages, then? I can’t imagine you could have found me in many other ways, after all. I don’t exactly wave my name around in any other pages on this website.”
She closes her laptop and sets it aside. Clasping her hands behind her head, she sets her feet up on her desk in a glaring display of bad manners.
“Well, unless you’re lost, of course. I can’t rule out that possibility.” She shakes her head, curly hair bobbing in a convenient breeze. She pokes her tongue out childishly. “But I guess I should tell you about myself, right? Seeing as you went to the trouble of clicking the link and all. Feel free to scroll past or hit the “back” button, though. I won’t hold it against you.”
She hands you some papers.
- Afraid of Needles
- Always Someone Better
- Ambiguously Autistic
- Anvilicious
- Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!
- Bad Dreams
- Berserk Button
- Bi The Way
- Bookworm
- Brainy Brunette
- Brilliant, but Lazy
- Bruiser with a Soft Center
- Can't Hold Her Liquor
- Character Development
- Closet Key
- Common Sense
- Conspiracy Theorist
- Consummate Liar
- Cool Loser
- Creature of Habit
- Cuteness Proximity
- Dark Is Not Evil
- Deadpan Snarker
- Dojikko
- Enfant Terrible
- Flaw Exploitation
- Forgets to Eat
- Friendly Enemy
- Geeky Turn-On
- Headphones Equal Isolation
- Heterosexual Life-Partner
- I Just Want to Be Badass
- Improbable Age
- Insufferable Genius
- Intelligence Equals Isolation
- Jerkass Façade
- Mad Scientist
- Madam Swearsalot
- Master of the Mixed Message
- More than Meets the Eye
- Mouthy Kid
- Naughty Is Good
- No Sympathy
- Not a Morning Person
- Only Sane Man
- Overshadowed by Awesome
- Pet the Dog
- Poster-Gallery Bedroom
- The Quiet One
- Real Women Eat Meat
- Repeat What You Just Said
- Saying Sound Effects Out Loud
- Schemer
- Sheep In Bitch's Clothing
- Shipper on Deck
- Short Dark And Snarky
- Shorter Means Smarter
- Single-Issue Wonk
- The Slacker
- Sleepyhead
- Sweet Tooth
- Talkative Loon
- Unintentionally Sympathetic
- Unreliable Narrator
- With Friends Like These...
- Who Needs Enemies?
and my favourite characters from said anime/manga.
- Death Note: Matsuda, L, Mello, Matt, Near, Watari.
- Ghost Hunt: Monk.
- Mirai Nikki: Yukki, Yuno, Uryu.
- xxxHoLic: Watanuki, Doumeki, Yuuko.
- Kuroshitsuji: Ciel, Sebastial, Grell, Undertaker, Joker, Snake, Finnian, Meirin & Bard.
- Rurouni Kenshin: Sanosuke, Megumi, Yahiko.
- Yu Yu Hakusho: Hiei, Yuusuke, Kuwabara, Botan.
- Soul Eater: Soul, Death the Kid, Liz & Patty.
- Ouran High School Host Club: Nekozawa, Haruhi, Honey-sempai, Mori.
- Bleach: Ishida, Chad, Shunsui, Ukitake, Grimmjow.
- Katekyo Hitman Reborn: Squalo, Xanxus, Reborn, Gokudera, Ryohei.
and my favourite characters from said games.
- Kingdom Hearts: the first one, Chain Of Memories, Kingdom Hearts II and Birth By Sleep: Sora, Riku, Kairi, Leon, Vexen/Even, Lea, Saix, Marluxia, Larxene, Aqua, Terra, Ven.
- Pokemon: GARY FUCKING OAK
- Final Fantasy IV, V, VI, VII, Crisis Core, VIII and Dissidia: Kain, Rydia (IV), Faris (V), Edgar (VI), Tifa, Zack, Genesis, Loz (VII/Crisis Core/Advent Children), Seifer, Selphie, Irvine {VIII), Emperor Mateus, Jecht, Kuja, Firion, Zidane (Dissidia)
- Super Smash Brothers, especially Brawl: Snake. Samus/Snake.
- Persona 3: Chidori *sobs*, Shinjiro *sobs harder*, Minato/Minako *sobs HARDEST*, Aigis, Junpei, Akihiko, Hidetoshi.
- Ace Attorney: Phoenix Wright, Miles Edgeworth, Diego Armando/Godot, Shi-Long Lang, Kristoph Gavin, Apollo Justice, Trucy Wright, Klavier Gavin, Ema Skye, Damon Gant, Jake Marshall.
and my favourite characters from said webcomics.
- Girl Genius: Agatha Heterodyne, Gilgamesh Wulfenbach, Other Tryggvassen "Gentleman Adventurer!", Tarvek Sturmvoraus.
- Gunnerkrigg Court: Kat, Robot, Renard, Parley, Jack, Zimmy.
- Hanna Is Not A Boys Name: Hanna, {...}, Conrad/Count Fagula/Connie, Lamont, Ples, Casimiro, Finas.
- xkcd: Black hat guy.
- Questionable Content: Hannelore, Faye, Raven, Steve.
- Manly Guys Doing Manly Things: Everyone. Apart from Canadian guy.
- Megatokyo: Largo, Erika, Yuki, Kimiko.
- Girls Next Door: Jareth, Erik, Sarah, Norrington
- Awkward Zombie: Everyone.
- Manly Guys Doing Manly Things: The Commander, Jonesy, Mr Fish, Jared.
and my favourite characters from said movies.
- How To Train Your Dragon: Ruffnut & Tuffnut, Astrid, Hiccup, Toothless, the Terrible Terrors.
- Labyrinth: Jareth.
- Spirited Away: Haku, Chihiro, Yubaba.
- Ponyo On The Cliff By The Sea: Fujimoto, Granmamare, Ponyo, Sosuke.
- Alice in Wonderland: Chessur, Tarrant, Alice, Mallyumpkin.
- The Nightmare Before Christmas: Jack, Sally.
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Norrington, Jack, Davy Jones, Barbossa, Tia Dalma/Calypso.
- Beetlejuice: Lydia, the Maitlands, Betelguese.
- Peter Pan (2003 version): Hook, Wendy, Peter.
and my favourite characters from said books.
- Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman: Crowley and Aziraphale. (Who else?)
- Harry Potter: Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom, Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Ron Weasley, Fred & George Weasley, Harry Potter.
- Alice In Wonderland: Alice.
You look up from the papers. The girl is regarding you with a speculative look.
"You know, for someone who expects me to tell you so much about me, you sure don't look like a stalker," she states. You feel slightly affronted. It wasn't like you actually asked for any of this information.
"I know you didn't ask for it, but you expected it, didn't you? That's practically the same thing!"
It isn't, but you keep your mouth shut.
The girl turns toward the Fourth Wall. "Why are You still writing this, anyway? There's nothing left to say any more, and don't You dare try to prolong this with unnecessary ramblings. Come on, close it up, chop chop!"
Oh, alright. Bloody uncooperative Author Avatar.
