Affectionate Gesture to the Head
Adults will pat the head of a child to show them they've done well, tousle the child's hair affectionately to take the sting out of a teasing comment, or do one of the former in a playfully patronizing way.
Also can be done from one adult to another if one feels protective and affectionate of the other, or just wants to annoy them.
The gesture is done to and from people of both sexes, and can be gentle or rough, though the rough version is most common among boys and their dads/older brothers (or substitute father-figures). Expect the dad to be playfully rough, and the boy to shut one eye while letting his head move with the gesture and maybe complain.
The gesture can also be performed genuinely or insincerely. Expect the gesture to be done awkwardly by a closet Child Hater
This is mainly true of North America. In Asian countries, this may be considered rude, due to spiritual connotations. Many people from non-Asian countries dislike the patronizing implications.
See also Dope Slap
, which is a head pat of "You've Messed Up" and tends to be less affectionate.
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Anime and Manga
- In CLANNAD, Tomoya pats Nagisa.
- In Naruto Itachi's brotherly gesture was affectionate by definition. Possibly the most dramatic, emotionally-eliciting gesture you could give considering the circumstances.
- Young Gohan is patted on the head quite frequently — even by Vegeta — in Dragon Ball Z. One particular moment that stands out was during a flashback when Piccolo does this to a sleeping Gohan and promises that he won't let anything happen to him, cementing his Heel-Face Turn and Papa Wolf status towards Gohan.
- In the Sengoku Basara anime when Shingen seems about to give a standard Megaton Punch to Yukimura but switches to patting and tousling his hair at the last second, telling him he's done well.
- General rule with Baccano!: left-handed head pats are affection. Right-handed head pats? Not so much.
- After thinking that he is going to die, Czeslaw gets a pat on the head from Maiza instead of having his life force sucked from him as he'd expected. This, along with the love that Isaac and Miria had shown him, leads to his breaking free from his past woes.
- Subverted at the end of the 2002 arc with Fermet's return. His ambush of Czes is bad enough just with the massive creeper overtones he practically oozes all over his "favorite toy". When he makes it clear how utterly helpless Czes is against him... puts his right hand on Czes' forehead... and pets him before walking off to let the mindbreak settle.
- In Tiger & Bunny, Kotetsu often pats younger characters on the head as a sort of fatherly gesture.
- In Saiyuki, this is one of Sanzo's few outwardly affectionate gestures towards Goku.
- Heaven's Lost Property:
- Ikaros pats others a lot, usually to soothe someone who is upset. One time, she even randomly did it to a Yakuza boss. The man's bodyguards are shocked by this violation of personal space and move to attack her, but the boss stops them and enjoys it.
- Astrea ends up patting Chaos' head.
- This is essentially the signature gesture of the Kasahara/Dojo relationship in Library War. The first one occurred when Kasahara was in high school and Dojo was her "prince". The next time he gave her one, it strongly reminded her of her "prince" and kickstarted their Slap-Slap-Kiss relationship. Pretty much every important the two of them have is accompanied by one.
- In Dog Days, this is a trademark of Princess Millhiore. Everyone she pets comments on how soft and gentle her hands are. Cinque also does it to her and a few other girls.
- By the second season, it seems the favorite peacetime activity for all three rulers is getting petted by their respective Heroes.
- In Fullmetal Alchemist Ed often pets Al's and Winry's heads to reassure them.
- GA Geijutsuka Art Design Class:
- Kisaragi gets patted from Noda and Tomokane after telling the story of how she came to buy a "god's pencil", then again from them plus Miyabi and Namiko after she explains that it "worked" (though it's pretty clear that practice was really what worked).
- In a chapter image, Namiko seems to be giving Tomokane and Kisaragi one of these as the younger four of the five seem to be engaged in a group hug.
- Hidamari Sketch:
- Yuno is patted by her mother because she was worried about her father being at home alone.
- Yuno gets one from Sae and Miyako at her explanation of Hiro's setting aside an onigiri.
- Azusa is frequently patted against her will, even though it's what Yui used to calm her down when she blew up. But she does take it better when it's employed while they're reminding her that they haven't forgotten the club. (The others had been too involved in the play to practice for the concert.)
- One time, when Nodoka jokingly asks the Hirasawa sisters if they didn't come out in the wrong order (Yui needs help with a math problem that Ui knows how to solve after glancing at it while setting tea she made down, Yui and Ui briefly interact as though they were the other way around; this gesture is part of it.
- Nodoka pats Ui in the very next strip after being randomly hugged by her.
- In K-On! High School, Azusa tries to reach kouhai Sumire's head, saying "Rub... head..." as she stretches for it. Sumire takes this as a request and confusedly rubs Azusa's head.
Azusa: No, not me!
- In one episode of Axis Powers Hetalia, France affectionately ruffles America's hair during the latter's hundredth birthday.
- Taishi of Servant ◊ Service occasionally pats younger women on their head out of unconscious habit, due to his sister.
- Usui often affectionately pats Misaki's head in Kaichou Wa Maid Sama.
- Dragon Ball:
- This is how Goku shows affection towards his sons and later his granddaughter.
- Piccolo pets Gohan on the head, which is the closest thing to a hug from him.
- In Date A Live Shido tends to do these to the various spirits a lot, especially the more childlike ones. Kurumi offers Shido this choice in volume 7.
- In Elfen Lied when Kurama sends Nana to capture Lucy and bring her back to the lab this is all she asks for in return, because this was how he showed affection to her.
- In the Back to the Future fanfic Ich Liebe Dich, Doc absentmindedly strokes Marty's hair while the teen is asleep.
- In Kyon Big Damn Hero, Kyon tousles his little sister's hair pretty much whenever he sees her.
- There is a Touhou doujinshi where a very drunk Sanae asks to be patted on the head and called a "good girl". This has become something of a meme in the Touhou fandom.
- In Field Of Innocence, Lu Ten ruffles his little cousin Zuko's hair before leaving for the Earth Kingdom.
Film — Animated
- Casper the Friendly Ghost: In Casper: A Spirited Beginning, Fatso strokes Casper on the head while lying about them being uncle and nephew, it happens again in Casper meets Wendy, where Fatso strokes Casper on the head after his uncles and the witches save him and Wendy and once more in Casper's Haunted Christmas when they, Stretch, Stinkie, Spooky and Pearl are being banished to "The Dark".
- In Disney's Tangled. Mother Gothel pats Rapunzel "sweetly" on the head as a gesture of "affection" but also to remind her that she's dumb, helpless, naive, ditzy, etc. It is a sign that Rapunzel has grown up that she blocks the gesture and grabs Gothel's wrist once Rapunzel realizes who she is.
- In Disney's Tarzan, the infant who will end up as Tarzan gets a genuine ruffle of his hair by his human father during the opening of the movie, for pointing out a great tree to build in.
- In The Simpsons Movie, a kid in a commercial asks Tom Hanks to tousle his hair. Magic sparkles appear as he does.
- At the end of Atlantis The Lost Empire, Milo is saying goodbye to all his friends. When he comes to Mole, who offers a big hug, he hesitates before patting his head instead.
- In Toy Story 3, Bonnie's mother gently strokes her daughter's hair before she steps up to Andy to accept his toys.
- Beauty and the Beast:
- The Beast strokes Belle's hair and cheek when they're having romantic moments.
- After the curse is broken, Belle sort of brushes Beast's hair so she can better see his face, before they kiss.
Film — Live Action
- In A Song of Ice and Fire, Jon shows his affection to Arya by mussing up her hair. Arya later misses having him do this to her.
- In Dragon Bones Ward tries to snap Oreg out of one of his PTSD-induced flashbacks by touching his head, as every other part of his body is horribly injured (Oreg is so powerful a mage that he re-lives the past in a physical sense without being able to control it). He also says Oreg's name ... which makes him look stupid when his uncle sees it, as Oreg is invisible to most people.
- In the October Daye novel One Salt Sea, the scary, unaffectionate Luidaeg gives Quentin's hair an affectionate ruffle.
- In Cheaper by the Dozen by Frank Gilbreth Jr. and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey, there is a part when the children's Aunt Anne comes to visit and Billy pushes her over the edge to the point where she yanks his hair. They get on better terms with each other, though, to the point where Aunt Anne gives Billy one of these.
- The X-Wing Series has Han Solo once vigorously muss up Wedge Antilles' hair as demonstration of the fact that he can get away with a lot as a General. For the record, they're friends.
- Used contemptuously in Galaxy of Fear. Young Tash takes offense to Second Face Smoke, but this amuses the smoker, who puts a hand on her head and looms over her, then spins her towards the Bad-Guy Bar door and shoves her. He's a serial killer, so she's fortunate he was amused. Later his brain ends up in her skull.
- In the Lucky Starr series, Lucky often tousles his smaller sidekick Bigman's hair to show affection. In Lucky Starr and the Rings of Saturn, the affection is mixed with frustration, and Lucky goes as far as to "[seize] Bigman's hair affectionately and [tug] his head back and forth".
Live Action TV
- In Stargate SG-1, Jack sometimes gently ruffles or smooths Daniel's hair to show affection or to comfort himself if he's worried about Daniel. He also does it to annoy Daniel sometimes.
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
- Buffy stroking Dawn's hair.
- Anya patting Dawn, but as it's meant to be a patronizing gesture, it only annoys her.
- In Smallville:
- Clark pats Lana quite a bit.
- Whitney to Lana.
- Chloe tenderly pats Clark, who is unconscious, in "Fever".
- Clark pats Chloe in "Onyx" when evil (well, eviler) Lex knocked her out cold.
- Clark gently touches Chloe in "Abyss" along with a forehead kiss before wiping her memories of his secret.
- Clark and Lois start patting each other's head after they drop the Vitriolic Best Buds facade and start acknowledging their mutual attraction.
- Played with on the kids game show Double Dare. In one of the physical challenges A contestant would have a slime filed balloon put on her hat, and then sit down receiving a pat on the head from a giant hand. This would break the balloon leaving her Covered in Gunge.
- In series one, episode one of Jeeves and Wooster, Bingo Little pats Oliver Glossup (the boy he's tutoring) during dinner, dismissing something the boy just said.
- Community, as is expected of such a troperiffic show, discussed this. Jeff and Annie's relationship is characterized by him being an older brother to her, except that the increasing sexual tension is making that awkward and they can't keep it up, meaning their relationship has to evolve. The discussion ends with "We can't keep doing this kiddo," with a gentle chuck of the chin. "Can't we?" [long pause], "No, it's gross."
- JJ from Skins is forever having his hair ruffled; he's well aware that it's mostly patronizing.
"Then I'd tell Freddie and Cook to stop fighting over Effy before they hate each other forever, and not make me take sides. And they'd listen to me for once and not fucking ruffle my hair!"
And then about two minutes later, Karen [Freddie's sister] does exactly that.
- The X-Files: Mulder and Scully would frequently touch each other's forehead, stroke each other's hair, hold each other's head or cup each other's face. UST at its best.
- NCIS: The jury is still out as to whether Gibbsí dope slaps to DiNozzo are kind gestures or an attempt to stop him being so... erm... so DiNozzo. DiNozzo claims he's sure they're affectionate.
- "The Duchess and the Devil" from Horatio Hornblower has this trope all over the place.
- The Duchess of Wharfedale is a lady who is cheeky, spirited, older yet still sexy as hell. She gently touches Horatio's face when she teases him about not having any razors to shave himself because he's in Spanish jail. That lady knows how to flirt.
- The Duchess affectionately strokes Archie Kennedy's forehead when he lies in bed, slowly recovering from his suicide attempt by starvation. Lucky Duchess and lucky Archie.
- Horatio caresses Archie's head and loose hair when he tries to take care of him and nurse him into health. He also hands him a cup of water and tries to make him drink. These are extremely intense hurt/comfort moments between Heterosexual Life-Partners.
- Doctor Who:
- The first technical Doctor/companion kiss on the whole show is when the Second Doctor kisses Zoe on the forehead in "The War Games".
- The Third Doctor toys with Liz's hair when she's helping him round after an attempted assassination via Deadly Gas in "The Ambassadors of Death".
- In "Pyramids of Mars", there is a fairly extended scene where Sarah Jane very thoroughly massages and cuddles the Doctor's head while he's coming round to consciousness. Judging by his expression, he enjoys it quite a lot.
- In "Shada", Chris allows the Doctor to wire his brain up to a man left braindead by a particularly brutal Mind Rape. The Doctor hooks him up to the machine, realises that Chris is finding it excruciatingly painful, and kisses him on the forehead out of pity. Then he kisses the Mind Rape victim on his forehead, 'for luck'.
- The Eleventh Doctor is very fond of kissing companions and loved ones on the forehead as a reassuring gesture.
- The Third Doctor gives Jo Grant a kiss◊ (something he rarely gives a companion, let alone anyone else) on the forehead after finding her safe and sound in "Colony in Space". Both Jon Pertwee and Katy Manning seem to fumble awkwardly in the lead-up to it.
- Towards the end of the first season of Homeland, Tom Walker ties up an old woman and uses her home as a sniping post. After he's finished, he musses her hair before leaving.
- In the Supernatural episode "What Is And What Should Never Be" (S02, Ep20), the Mary Winchester in the wishverse stroke's Dean's face and kisses him on the forehead.
- FridayNightLights once had Tim Riggins kiss Becky on the forehead as both an apology and a promise to come back for her.
- The titular serial killer in Hannibal is creepily fond of stroking and caressing his victims' faces as he kills them.
- Quite commonplace in professional team sports, and considered a bit less Ho Yay than a pat on the backside.
- My Girlfriend Is the President: Jun often pats Yukino, and it always causes her worries to vanish instantly. Jun even complains that she's too simple-minded. He also does it to Ell in her route, and it works so well that, whenever Jun looks concerned, she starts doing it to him as well. It also works that way, though obviously more because of the cuteness than anything else.
- Harada Sanosuke in Hakuōki distributes these regularly to Chizuru and Ryuunosuke.
- Higurashi: When They Cry:
- Satoshi Hojo had a habit of doing this, especially to his sister Satoko, before he disappeared. So much that when Keiichi does it to her in Tatarigoroshi-hen, it actually triggers her.
- Rika pats people when they're feeling down. While most people assume that she's comforting them, she's actually mocking them.
- This used to be done to Miyo as a child by her dad. A noticeably sad example happens after he gets into a severe automobile accident. He's bandaged near completely and his arm has been amputated but he tries to comfort Miyo but can't. He dies moments later.
- The Devil's Panties: A security guard condescendingly pats Jennie on the head in this comic.
- In Drowtales, Nei'kalsa Tions Sarghress keeps her hand placed on the head of her younger brother Sar'nel as the two are made to watch Ariel beat Mir'kiin to death.