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The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
- Calluna popping up behind The Dom, and his reaction.
- The Dom asks Calluna what she's doing there, to which she responds that she's there to help with the review. The Dom then clarifies that what he meant was "more along the lines of how did you know where I was staying, and how did you get in here?" Calluna merely holds up a copy of The Hobbit and smiles creepily in response.
- Calluna presses The Dom to let her in on the review:Calluna: But think how much better it would be with the two of us!
The Dom: Eh. If I ever want more people in my reviews, I just create more of me. See?
Random greenscreen duplicate Dom: ...'sup. - Calluna's opinion that, with all the drama behind the making of the Hobbit films, "we're lucky this wasn't set in space staring Siamese cats."
- The recreation of how much Azog featured in the book. With Calluna in a fake beard as Gandalf.Gandalf: Hey, remember how your grandfather was killed by that orc?
Thorin: Oh yeah. That guy sucked.
Gandalf: (nods)- And then again with Radagast.Gandalf: Hey Beorn, I think you know my cousin Radagast?
Beorn: Oh yeah. He's a good guy.
- And then again with Radagast.
- The Dom's constant mispronunciations of the Battle of Azanulbizar.
- The Dom being uncomfortable not doing the review in front of a greenscreen. "How do you deal with all this... [disgusted] reality?"
- He tentatively pokes the couch a few times as Calluna rolls her eyes...then moves to poke her, and gets his hand slapped away.
- While criticizing how the film toned down the colorful nature of many of the dwarves' outfits in the book, Calluna admits that she can see the filmmakers being worried about them being taken seriously, "as it sounds a bit...y'know. Hi-ho, hi-ho..."
- "Dark loner broody heroes are all the rage at the moment, but back when The Hobbit was written, you were allowed to fight evil and not be grumpy all the time."
- After The Dom talks about how book!Thorin would go on long droning speeches listening to the sound of his own voice:
- The suggestion that one of the writers was on a Red Bull-influenced sugar high for certain scenes.Writer: Okay, the book says the party is travelling through the mountains and they see giants fighting in the distance...
Hyperactive writer: YEAH! AND THEN IT TURNS OUT THAT THEY'RE STANDING ON ONE OF THEIR KNEECAPS, AND THEY FLY AROUND WITH IT AS THEY BATTLE AND HEADBUTT EACH OTHER AND SHIT!
Writer: ...What? Okay, so Gandalf then throws his voice and does impressions of the trolls to keep them arguing long enough for the sun to rise...
Hyperactive writer: YOU MEAN HE SMASHES A GIANT BOULDER WITH HIS STAFF, LETTING THE SUN THROUGH IT!
Writer: ...I don't think I do...
Hyperactive writer: IT'S GONNA BE AWESOOOOME!!
Writer: Right, so, after the dwarves run through the tunnels, chased by the goblins, they-
Hyperactive writer: THEY FIGHT ALL THE GOBLINS ALONG THE WOODEN ROADS AND SURF A COLLAPSING BRIDGE DOWN A HUGE PRECIPICE AND IT'S BADASS!!!
Writer: (tearful) Why are you always yelling, Liz? - Calluna dragging The Dom along with her to fight a cave troll randomly attacking the city, mirroring how Gandalf shanghaied Bilbo in the book.
- The Dom trying to ask Calluna out to dinner, only to get shot down, as she already had plans. There's a knock at the door...Terrence: Hey, gorgeous, you ready to go?
- "DAMN YOU TEREEEEEEEEENCE!!!"
- In the bloopers video, both Dom and Calluna flubbing their lines right from the get-go.Dominic: So no, I don't think it's a terrible film, but isl- buti-
Calluna: Buttocks?
Dominic: Buttocks. I do like a good pair of buttocks!- "I INVENTED PLASTIC, GANDALF, DON'T QUESTION IT!"
- "My aunt gave me those, she spent a dollar thirty-five!"
- "The immature, bickering nature of said trolls. [beat] Insert Internet joke here."
- The Dom briefly becoming Bert from Mary Poppins.
- "I INVENTED PLASTIC, GANDALF, DON'T QUESTION IT!"
- Almost inevitably, the review opens with The Dom doing a parody of the movie...in which he scolds his beautiful watchers for asking for said parody, and tells them that he's going to get the whole thing out of the way at the beginning before it stops being funny.The Dom: But now, you come to me and you say, "Dom, give me the parody that everyone is going to expect from you when you review The Godfather," but, ah...you do not ask with respect, you...don't offer friendship, you...don't even think to call me "The Dom."
- All while stroking a Charmander plush.
- Afterwards, he drops the "slightly racist accent" but keeps the suit, "cuz I look fucking amazing in it."
- The usual spoiler warning text includes an additional warning for "high probability of poorly pronounced Italian names."
- After being clear that even though he believes that the film fully deserves all the praise given it, it is not for everyone and there's nothing wrong with choosing not to watch it:The Dom: Right then, while the League of Snooty Film Critics furiously search through our bylaws to see if that's something I'm allowed to say...
- "I have to admit, when I first started reading this book, I wasn't expecting quite so much of the plot to be based around...um...genitalia."
- "I-I'm pretty sure this book is supposed to be about the mafia, isn't it? No? Still describing vaginal surgery, huh? Okay. I'll wait."
- At the end, it turns out that The Dom was not allowed to say it was okay to not see the film, and he is taken before the League of Snooty Film Critics, who pronounce his punishment: reviewing Fifty Shades of Grey.
Frank Herbert's Dune - The Dom Reviews
- The Dom opens with a letter to the director of the upcoming film reboot, pleading with him to keep in mind that the original book version of Baron Harkonnen cannot fly.
- "P.S. I would prefer to avoid another 'space speedo' incident if possible as my liver cannot handle another fifth of Liqueur all at once, but that is admittedly a secondary concern."
- Describing the glowing-eyes effect as making everyone look like "alternative Jawas."
- *The Dom is what's known as "Picardosexual". Mostly straight but very attracted to Patrick Stewart.
- "The only reason I could think of for them adding in the cute fremen girl, is what's the point of having the lead do something cool, if there's only an old woman there to be wowed by it, you know? You gotta have sexual tension, or there's no point!"
- "Oh, William Hurt, maybe just...don't do sci-fi, it's clearly not your thing."
- "Herbert kinda had a 'because fuck you' attitude towards explaining his biology."
- The Dom's reaction to the clip of the Guild spokesman's strange hand movements.
- The Dom: Was the director just asleep that day, or had everyone just given up by this point, so the actor decided that interpretive dance meets William Shatner was the way to go?
- "Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying porn is the problem, I LOVE porn, I don't have an eight-digit passcode on my phone because I'm worried my mother will accidentally see my holiday snaps..."
- "This is arguably the only time that Grey has a positive effect on the story, and it still pretty much boils down to, 'Unhand that lady! If anyone's going to take advantage of her, it's going to be meeeee!' What a hero."
- (big forced grin) "All of these characters are scum!"
- "For some reason, I can only assume some sort of botched lobotomy in her past, Ana continues to like Grey..."
- Upon reaching the part where Grey follows Anastasia to her mother's place despite her specifically going there to get some distance from him to think things over, the Dom pauses, breathing very heavily, then snaps apart the handcuffs he was wearing, steps off screen for a moment and comes back with a gun, which he fires into the air until it runs out of bullets.
- (deep, calming breath) "...Nope!" (pulls out two more guns and fires them off as well)
- (clears throat and straightens tie) "Thanks for waiting, I feel much better now."
- (deep, calming breath) "...Nope!" (pulls out two more guns and fires them off as well)
- The whole bit and skit about Anastasia being "the most easily sexually-satisfied woman in the UNIVERSE."
- The Dom admitting that he personally has only dabbled in BDSM - "I won't go into details, but suffice to say...these were not my only pair of handcuffs."
- "This concludes the slightly more structured element of the review. I shall now start shouting random complaints about this piece of shit masquerading as a book as they occur to me."
- "And on top of that, the fucking descriptives...and I mean that both literally and figuratively..."
- The outraged confusion over the repeated line of pants hanging off legs "that way."The Dom: ...What does that mean?! I mean, are we talking crotch bulge? If not, how does baggy trousers equal sexy?!
- The Dom's aggrieved sigh when he has to discuss the infamous "inner goddess".
- "THAT'S NOT WHAT 'SUBCONSCIOUS' MEANS!"
- The Dom gets so outraged by E.L. James's assertion that the book is a love story that he punches the greenscreen image behind him so hard it cracks. "Oh gods, that really hurt."
- The montage of elevator doors opening and closing in the film.The Dom: Quite frankly I think someone involved in this movie had a serious hard-on for elevator doors, and I wish they'd left us out of it.
- Ana not picking up on Christian's suspicious purchases.Christian: Okay, I'm gonna need some cable ties...
Ana: Okay.
Christian: Some good strong tape...
Ana: Uh-huh.
Christian: Quite a lot of rope...
Ana: Sure.
Christian: Um, some good thick chains if you have them...
Ana: No problem.
Christian: And, uh...do you have any books titled "How to Use Hardware Store Supplies to Facilitate Kinky Sex Acts"?
Ana: Well...I'll have to ask my manager. Gosh, this sure is some strange redecorating you're doing, Mr. Grey. - Comparing book Christian's reaction to learning of Anastasia's virginity to as if he was told "her vagina had a one-in-six chance of turning into a tarantula if he touched it."
- The skit demonstrating the problems with trying to avoid an NC-17 rating for a movie based on a book with its appeal based on hardcore sex scenes.Pizze-delivery man: This is one huuuuuuge sausage...and it's all for you.
Woman: Oh. (takes the pizza box) Thanks!
Pizza-delivery man: Enjoy your meal! (leaves) - The censor bars over the nude scenes being labeled "Bewbs," "Lady parts," and "Bum," depending on what they're covering.
- The Dom not getting the Accidental Innuendo of his name. And that his subscribers could be called his "subs".The Dom: My "beautiful watchers", actually, but what's your point?
- "Bitch, unless you're George Takei, you have no business saying ["Oh my"] seventy-two times."
Power Rangers (2017) - The Dom Reviews
- "But then [Alpha 5] goes and says something like, 'Wow, different colored children,' and I'm like, 'Woah, Alpha, bro, I mean I know you're sixty-five million years old so you're basically the ultimate out-of-touch grandpa, but you can't say that in 2017."
- The Dom showing off his Ninjor action figure.The Dom: Yeah, stupid movie tried to write him out to replace him with some chick with like, whistle-sticks or something, it was stupid.
- The little skit about the film's blatant Product Placement.Rita: Where's the Zeo Crystal, Billy?
Billy: It's in Krispy Kreme!
Rita: "Krispy Kreme"?
Billy: Yeah, Krispy Kreme.
Rita: This..."Krispy Kreme" must be very special.
Billy: Oh, Krispy Kreme is very special.
Rita: Well, I guess I'd better go look for this Krispy Kreme right now.
Billy: KRISPY KREME!- "It's at times like these that I'm just glad I'm not one of those weak-willed idiots who's easily influenced by that kind of thing." (immediate cut to the Dom scarfing down three donuts at once while sobbing pathetically)
- "It's not even the best advertisement for them. The Krispy Kreme in question gets torn apart by Goldar to form a massive doom-pit of fire and death! Yay, bring the family!"
- Questioning how the Megazord gets back into hiding after a battle. "I was just imagining it loping through the countryside with this massive crowd of people following it with their camera phones, going like 'Shoo, shoo, go away! Rrgh!'"
- The Dom threatening to stop letting Terrence crash at his place if the wizard doesn't do the review for him.
- When talking about Lucinda's habit of turning complainers into squirrels, Dug pops up and Terrence has to shoo him away.
- "Now, I know what you're thinking, you're thinking 'Good lord, Terrence, you sexy magical man-beast of love, how the hell did you miss [the Cinderella connection]? The key is in the bloody name!' That's exactly how you thought it."
- Terrence's reaction to Joanna Lumley as Dame Olga in the film.
- "I'm beginning to see why the Dom doesn't want kids. If they ever adapt your life into a movie it's a fucking death sentence."
- "Prince Char makes an appearance with his uncle, who, just in case you weren't entirely sure was the bad guy from his black goatee, constant maniacal laughter, and beforementioned enslavement of all magical creatures, has a pet talking snake coiled around his scepter that whispers bad things to people."
- Among the names he refers to Char's uncle by: Uncle McObviousNasty, Uncle Oh-My-Goodness-How-Do-You-Not-See-That-He's-The-Bad-Guy, Uncle Seriously-All-You-Have-To-Do-Is-Look-At-Him, Uncle Picture-You'd-See-In-A-Dictionary-Next-To-The-Word-"Betrayal", Uncle Satan-The-Lord-Of-Darkness-Called-Even-He-Thinks-You're-Overdoing-It.
- Regarding the portrayal of elves in the film:Terrence: You know, I showed this to my family's former house-elf Stumpy, and even he assured me that this is undignified and distasteful.
- "The giants tell [Ella] to sing, and the curse gives her the power to...um...invent Queen."
- "Slannen then starts dating a giant girl...I-I mean, I get the appeal, but I just don't think he's thought it through, logistics-wise."
- "They storm into the throne room to save Char, the guards are summoned but are no match for the giants, so...so, the evil talking snake presses a button on the wall...and summons ninjas."
- After the description of the film's plot:Terrence: (long beat) ...Couple of notes...
- Terrence complains about the greenscreen effects in the film:Terrence: I'm pretty sure the Dom could do a better job, and he's half-drunk at three-thirty in the afternoon!
The Dom: Hey!
Terrence: You have a problem, and we're going to have to talk about it eventually!
- The Dom talks about how film-Rambo made an effort not to kill the police pursuing him...then starts laughing wildly.The Dom: Nope! Nope nope nope, nope nope nope, nope nope nope. In the book, Rambo. Kills. EVERYBODY.
- Later, the skit of the filmmakers watching test footage of a more book-loyal Rambo…Filmmaker: ...So, yeah, David, we're thinking of making a few minor changes to the, um...hero.
- Later, the skit of the filmmakers watching test footage of a more book-loyal Rambo…
- The face the Dom makes during the moment he gives the viewers to process the revelation that Rambo dies in the book.
- Terrence trying to teach Rambo the Levitation Charm.
- The Dom states that Rambo, a US soldier, was awarded a Victoria Cross for his efforts in Vietnam, which is immediately followed by an onscreen note admitting that he got his UK and US medals mixed up.
Stephen King's The Shining - The Dom Reviews
- "HEDGES ARE NOT SCARY!"
- The cliff's-notes version of the review:Producer: Hi Stephen, I'm your new producer. So! Have you thought about what you really want us to concentrate on while we're adapting this?
Stephen King: Just make it loyal to my book.
Producer: Gotcha. And, do you have any actors in mind yet?
King: Oh, I don't care. As long as it's loyal to my book.
Producer: So...you don't care if they can't act to save their lives?
King: Nope. As long as it's loyal to my book.
Producer: Okay. Um, and the direction, do you want it to be genuinely atmospheric and slowly build up to an unseen menace, or should we go in a more in-your-face, scary-monsters-jumping-out-at-you direction?
King: Eh. Neither. Both. I don't really care, as long as it's loyal to my book.
Producer: Uh...o-okay. And the CGI. Now, are we gonna throw the budget into this and get the best of the best, or just pay the minimum and let it get dated as fuck within a few years?
King: I don't care-
Both: As long as it's loyal to my/your book.
Producer: Yes. Just like your books, I'm noticing a recurring theme emerging.- "Oh, it will be [loyal to your book], Stephen. It may just be that, but it will be that."
- Calling the lion hedge "both an embarrassment to special effects, and the best actor in the series."
- A potential online review of the hotel:"The staff were friendly, and the location was really nice, but I was just a little bit concerned that if one overweight cowboy didn't do his job exactly right every day, myself and everyone in my family would instantly die in a fiery inferno. Mmm...three stars. Maybe three-and-a-half."
- "Hey, the dad from Friends, act better! I know you can, you're not even trying, you're just saying all your lines like you were Google voice generator.
- Deciding that the CGI firehose with teeth is just so obviously stupid as to not be worth discussing.
- "Now, I can't speak from experience, because I've never been grabbed from behind by a decaying naked zombie lady, but, I am one hundred percent certain that the correct sound to make is more akin to:(long, terrified scream) ...as opposed to: (clip of Danny crying 'Woah!') Because 'Woah!' is the noise you make when you almost trip over but not quite, not the noise you make when you're being grabbed from behind by a decaying naked zombie lady!"
- "Okay, so. Mr. King. I know the main reason for this show's existence is because you weren't happy with Kubrick, but, come on. Look me in the eye, and be completely honest with me: you copied his homework just a little bit, didn't you? I'm not mad, I just want you to own up."
- "Why did the zombie conductor just turn away from his band? And why is the camera lingering on him for so long? Wait. Oh hi Stephen."
- Complaining about how such a fancy hotel should really have given Jack some better alcohol in both versions. "Get your shit together, ghost hotel, and serve some decent fucking liquor!"
The Dom's 50,000 subscriber milestone introspective
- The matter-of-fact way he describes his initial post-bachelor-of-arts-degree-in-a-bad-economy days as "I discovered there was fuck-all work available in my chosen field, got a full-time day job, and slowly gave up on all my dreams."
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
- Regarding the 3 ark spaceships that would supposedly be moving an alien population from their "doomed" planet:The Dom: The "A" ark would house all of the great leaders, scientists, heroes, artists, and Internet critics...
- The film Heart of Gold's doors' sighing being compared to "the noise that quite a slow person makes after they've figured out the punchline to a joke ten minutes after everyone else."
- Due to the complicated history of the canon source material, the Dom adds a temporary new category to this episode: "Where the FUCK do I put this?!"
- The Dom's freak-out at the end of Part 1.
- Fleeing from the review, the Dom seeks safety under Luke Spencer's desk.Luke: What are you doing under my desk?! In your PAJAMAS?!
The Dom: Well, I figured Florida would be the safest place to hide from the Hitchhiker's movie.
Luke: That doesn't answer either of my questions! …How long have you been down there?
The Dom: Long enough. (beat, shifts eyes awkwardly) You, uh...scratch your balls a lot when you review things, don't you?
Luke: GET OUT OF MY HOME. - After Luke gives him some encouragement to finish the review:
- "Wow! A one-headed man? I've never seen one of those before!"
- "The idea that a president could commit crimes, maybe even treason, and the government would not only ignore this but want him to go on being president, is just too stupid to even consider-" —WARNING: GETTING TOO REAL— "-a-a-ahh so the joke where everyone turns into knitted versions of themselves is kind of funny, but also kind of stupid..."
The Dom's For No Particular Reason Q&A
- The Dom responding to a video question portrayed as being asked by a cockatiel by having his own pet cockatiel, Petrie, give his answer.Petrie: Greetings, Ozzy, I am Petrie, the Loud, Obnoxious and Needlessly Aggressive.
- One questioner starts off by claiming to have just finished up with Terrence...The Dom: Uhhh. Umm...if you can find your way to St. Mungo's, you might want to ask them about a condition called "hyper-magical veela herpes." Um...it's actually significantly worse than it sounds.
- Blanking out the rest of a video after the questioner uses the term "logical dick" to describe Tywin Lannister.The Dom: All I can think about is Mr. Spock's penis now.
- One fan praises the Dom as "you glorious man amongst men, women and others." All he reacts to is the cat she's holding.
- On a similar note, when another fan shows off her chinchilla:The Dom: Aw! He's adorable! I will take him from you, he will be mine.
- On a similar note, when another fan shows off her chinchilla:
- The Dom admitting that he's not a huge fan of Doctor Who.The Dom: Combine that with my dislike of tea, and I really am the worst Englishman ever. It's uh, probably my American heritage fucking with me.
- His concern as to whether the Fan Without a Face can breathe okay in his mask.
- The entirety of Reginald's backstory.
- Getting caught in a loop over referencing the fact that his tvtropes page referenced the fact that he referenced his tvtropes page...
- "I always say that Internet-fame is pretty much the same as regular fame, but without the money, recognition, lifestyle, and, well, fame."
- What's a question the Dom has always wanted to answer but never had the opportunity to be asked? "Good lord, the Dom, how did you just save the world using nothing but your wits and a pair of novelty Pokémon-themed chopsticks?"
- The Dom's best insult: "Good sir, your face is reminiscent of a bloated leech that has died and marinated for a week in a vat of the putrid gangrenous drippings of Satan's infected testicle!"
- "I'm pretty sure I'll eventually grind my rivals into dust and reign king of all adaptation reviewers! (maniacal laugh)- Uh, what I mean to say is, the Internet's a big place, there's room for all of us."
- What Hogwarts and Ilvermorny Houses is the Dom in?The Dom: None of them. I'm a muggle.
Terrence: Yeah he's a hella muggle.- Similarly, what cabin in Camp Half-Blood would he be in?The Dom: Well, uhhh... I rather suspect I'd be in the cabin of whatever deity chose to copulate with my mortal parent. Uh, you don't really get a say in the matter like you do with the Sorting Hat.
- Similarly, what cabin in Camp Half-Blood would he be in?
- A questioner introduces herself as living in the state of Washington...The Dom: Ah yes, an East Coast state, known for its exports of novelty party-capes. (beat) I haven't learned a lot about America yet, I'm gonna swot up before I move.
- "The lead, determined to think of a surprising costume, has her attention drawn to a famous painting of one of Maxim's ancestors by Mrs. Danvers, who suggests that if she can have the dress made it would make an excellent costume."
- "This is gonna sound like the weirdest complaint in the world, especially coming from me, but...HOLY damn, this book is JUST, TOO, BRITISH!"Narrator: Are you sure you won't take some more tea, darling? Frith really has outdone himself with the crumpets and buttered scones today, don't you think?
Maxim: M'yes, dear. (looking at newspaper) Good lord, Gloucestershire lost by seventeen wickets! Who the devil taught these ragabonds how to play cricket?! I've half a mind to go down there and teach them a thing or two.
Narrator: Oh, before I forget, Colonel Julian and the vicar's wife are coming for afternoon tea tomorrow, and I thought it might be a good time to discuss the-
The Dom: AAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH, would you TONE IT DOWN JUST A LITTLE?! Good lord, I feel like I'm about to pass St. George's Cross out through my urethra like a KIDNEY STONE!
Maxim: ...I say. - "Well, it's a Hitchcock movie, isn't it? Dude had mad game, bro, mad game, I...don't know why I'm saying that I'm sorry."
- When he gets to the part about Maxim having flat-out shot Rebecca in the book:The Dom: Azkaban.
- "...Wait, am I still doing this? Terrence, are we still doing the 'Azkaban' bit?"
- The book narrator is oddly okay with finding out her husband is a murderer:Narrator: Maxim, all I've ever wanted to hear you say is that you love me!
Maxim: I shot my last wife, darling. I-I pulled out a gun and put a bullet in a defenseless woman.
Narrator: You care for me in a way you never even cared for Rebecca!
Maxim: There was blood everywhere! I kept having to go back for more buckets of seawater to clean the cottage with!
Narrator: Oh Maxim, you've made me so happy! I love you too!
Maxim: I SHOULD NOT BE THE ONE FREAKED OUT BY THIS CONVERSATION!- The narrator really should have been a tad more hesitant about being married to a man who has shown himself to be capable of murder to avoid a humiliating divorce.Narrator: Darling, you said you would be the one to take Jasper for a walk today, I've done it every day this week. This really is unfair- (click) -you know what I could probably use the exercise COME ALONG JASPER!
- The narrator really should have been a tad more hesitant about being married to a man who has shown himself to be capable of murder to avoid a humiliating divorce.
- The skit showing how the book narrator's constant detailed fantasies might have looked if they'd been carried over into the film.
The Neverending Story: The Animated Adventures - The Dom Reviews
- Deciding that reviewing a work based on an originally German book is a good opportunity to show off his excellent German. "Schraubenzieher!note "
- "Okay, it's time to play another rousing game of 'What the fuck is this adapting, and what the fuck is it a sequel to?' I'm genuinely surprised by how often this is coming up."
- Naturally, the Dom finding the cartoon's opening theme lacking in comparison to the film's song leads to him busting out his sweet dance moves.The Dom: Ah! My dancing! The one thing better than my German!
- "After [being turned to stone] happens to his wife, the dude does exactly the same thing... If they didn't look like they were already too old to have kids anyway, I would say this was Darwinism in action."
- "Xayide is so mad that she failed to stop them...she explodes."
- The "unintentionally fucked-up" counter.
- "[The Childlike Empress] has a name, you know! It's (suddenly raining) MOOOOOOOOOONCHI-I-IIIIIIIILD!"
- Pointing out that the Fantasians have no reason to be skeptical of a child's usefulness, given how Bastien has saved their world every time.The Dom: At this point you should be scoffing if an adult offers to help!
- His horror upon seeing that the cartoon showcases the Rockbiter family from the third movie.The Dom: No one tell The Nostalgia Critic!
- The Dom briefly thinking that Xayide might be a semi-competent villain...and his disappointment when less than a minute later she destroys her own minions in annoyance when she could have just as easily targeted the heroes.
- The Stinger:Gnome: How many times do I have to repeat myself, woman?
The Dom as the gnome: Get your fucking arse to the winch, wench!
A Very Brief Ancient History of Westeros
- The casual way he bluntly describes the continent of Essos as "a bit bigger [than Westeros], but also a bit shit."
- When the children of the forest recommend that the First Men adopt the worship of their old gods "because it was jolly good fun doing so", a weirwood tree pops up with a ":D" face carved into it.
- The Ancient Starks' rather eloquent response to the Andals desire to rule the North:Ancient Starks: "FUCK OOOFFFF!!!"
- "Fine! It's too bloody cold up there anyway, you can keep it, First Men!"
- Centuries later the Dornish have the same response when Aegon comes along.Aegon: Fine! It's too bloody hot down there anyway, you can keep it, Dornish!
- Summing up the Doom of Valyria as: "...Valyria exploded."
A Very Brief Recent History of Westeros
- Pretty much the entire portrayal of King Aerys II. "TRRREEEEEEEEASOOOOOOOOON!!!"
- Representing Aerys' insanity by photoshopping bugged-out googly-eyes over a piece of official artwork.
- The Mad King and Rickard Stark:Aerys: Hi! ...So...pretty bad situation, but, you know, we, we can talk it out like adults. Why don't you just, you just, why don't you come down here and we'll, we'll discuss it. I definitely won't burn you alive.
Rickard: Um...you promise?
Aerys: Mm-hm, mm-hm! Yup! S'all good! I promise on my honor as a king, and a Targaryen.
Rickard: Well...okay...
Aerys: (crazy laugh) Sucker! Burn him! Burn him for TRRRREEEEEEASSSOOOON! Kill his son too.
Rickard: Ah, fuck. - "Um... No. No I'm not going to do that. Fuck you. Ssstick it up your bum."
- "(extremely heavy breathing, then)...treason."
- When detailing which sides each of the Great Houses took in Robert's Rebellion, the Lannister's rather curious decision to remain 'neutral' is accompanied by a Not So Innocently Whistling Tywin Lannister.
- The Battle of the Trident:Rhaegar: Oh, relax, Dad, I got this.
The Dom: He did not, however, got this. - "TREEEEEEA-something."
- Aerys dancing around happily chanting "Burn them all!"
- Claiming that Daenerys Targaryen's "Stormborn" appellation "would almost certainly be the only title she would ever pick up in her life."
Game of Thrones S1 E1
- The Dom's demonstration of the potential negative side-effects of the book's unforgiving portrayal of bleakness.Calluna: Dom, you've got work to do. Get up.
The Dom: (moan) What's the point? What's the point in anythi-hi-hiiiiing?! (sobs) - The photoshopped drooping mustache and hair bells for Khal Drogo.
- "Word on the street was that [Ashara Dayne] was very grateful to [Eddard] for returning their family's ancestral sword and restoring the family honor, so, she may have gotten to know Ned's ancestral sword too."
Game of Thrones S1 E2
- The Dom happily replaying the clip of Tyrion slapping Joffrey.
- Finishing the "Same" section with, "And Bran finally waking his lazy ass up."
- Regarding the show's added conversation between Jon and Ned, with Ned promising to tell Jon about his mother when he returned:
Game of Thrones S1 E3
- The first instances of "GAME OF THRONES HATES BALDNESS," with the introduction of Grand Maester Pycelle and Syrio Forel.
- Regarding Jon making an enemy of Alliser Thorne:Jake Peralta: Yay, enemies for life!
- "Daenerys and all her handmaidens have a bath together at some point. See, there's your Fanservice, guys, you don't need to add extra random boobs to scenes!"
The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
- The entire opening sequence, including:
- The Dom in the shower singing "You'll Be Back";
- Opening his hotel door to find Calluna standing there holding The Hobbit, a Slasher Smile on her face and accompanied by "Psycho" Strings;
- The Dom's reaction to said appearance;
- And cut to the Dom making Calluna watch a Channel Awesome code of conduct training video featuring The Nostalgia Critic: "Respecting boundaries while pursuing crossovers."Nostalgia Critic: But it's important to remember, especially if your fellow reviewer is, shall we say, not as on-board with the idea as you are, that things like trespassing, kidnapping, and threats of violence ARE still illegal, and reviewers can still go to jail like anyone else.
Calluna: I don't see why we have to-
The Dom: WATCH. The video.
Nostalgia Critic: ...Trust me. I know.
- Calluna gives a noncommittal shrug when the Dom asks if she's learned her lesson after the video.
- "Good lord, if that much gold got released into Middle-Earth all at once it would completely devalue the whole currency! People would be using it to make horseshoes within a week!"
- Smaug's potential critique of Bard's "Not if I kill it first" line:Smaug: Dude, that was...so cringe. I'll tell you what, I'll swing around again so you can think of something better, okay?
- The Dom pouting when Calluna says the "Let's talk adaptation" line.
- Calluna sighing whenever Thranduil shows up.
- When discussing Legolas's presence in the film:The Dom: Also, damn, brah, when you're jealous of a four-foot-high mortal being, it's time to reevaluate your life a bit, ya feel me?
Calluna: Please stop talking like that. - Remarking that film-Bard "somehow manages to look more like Orlando Bloom than Orlando Bloom in this movie."
- Noting that Tolkien seemed to have been much like his own dwarf characters in not having thought through what to do with Smaug once they got to him.Tolkien: Um...then...someone shoots him. But not just any someone! This guy was like a, a, a, a prince, or something. It doesn't matter, let's get back to the dwarves!
- After criticizing the Stephen Colbert cameo in the film for being so brief and hard to spot...
- On the fight between Smaug and the dwarves: "There is so much stuff in this that just does not...physics."
- "It seems the hyperactive writer from the first film has finally kicked her caffeine addiction...because she's moved on to harder substances."The Dom!writer: Okay, so Gandalf and the hobbit walk up to Beorn and say hello-
Hyperactive writer: NO, HE CHASES THEM INTO HIS OWN HOUSE IN RAGE-BEAR MODE!!!
The Dom!writer: ...I thought we were gonna fire her.
Other writer: (shrugging) The first movie was a big hit.- Turns out the molten golden statue was actually the result of the writer being talked down from a full-on MECHA VS DRAGON BATTLE inside Erebor.
- The Dom seeing a "Time until this becomes a theme park ride" counter during the river sequence.
- Regarding Balin's claim that only a black arrow fired from a wind lance could kill Smaug...Balin: Or, I suppose in a pinch you could fire it from a bow made out of a small boy with the same result.
Bilbo: Wait, what?
Balin: Ah, don't worry lad, I'm just foreshadowing so it doesn't seem massively contradictory in the next film. - Calluna calling the Dom out on his error with the moon-letters in the first Hobbit review.
- The Dom and Calluna actually like the additions to Thranduil's character, and correspondingly make some creative additions to the cutting-off-the-orc's-head scene.DEAL WITH IT
- Terrence showing up at the end, and awkwardly telling Calluna he thinks they should see other people right before his new date arrives: Thranduil.Terrence: I'm, ah, going to see if it's actually possible to mess that hair up later.
- "I can't even be mad! They make such a pretty couple." (beat) "I ship it."
- The "dramatic turn" counter during the credits.
- The entire blooper video.
- During the skit with the hyperactive writer holding the Dom by the shirt collar as she yells her plans for the dwarf vs Smaug battle, Calluna keeps flubbing one word, but determinedly snaps at Dom when he suggests that she skip that part, while still manhandling him in-character, prompting him to beg her not to hurt him for real.
Death Note (2017) - The Dom Reviews
- The Dom's rant about film-Light's stupidity compared to his manga counterpart, and his subsequent even MORE passionate rant about the same regarding film-L.
- Referring to some of Light's victims as "hostage-taking salute guy," "mother-killing steak knife guy," and "the school bully kid."The Dom: Yeah, I know they all had names, but who gives a fuck?
- *sniff* "They made L into a hipster!"
- "The difference between Light and Mia is akin to a Futurama sketch!"Light: I say your willingness to kill goes too far!
Mia: Well I say your willingness to kill doesn't go far enough!
Light: Gosh, we are so different!
Mia: Indeed. Killing each other is the only option.
Light: Agreed. - Summing up the film's story as "A slightly smarter-than-average hipster with a gun physically running after a slightly smarter-than-average emo. And it's exactly as less-entertaining as that sounds."
- The Dom starts off the review dressed in drag as a knife-wielding little girl...then pauses, takes off his wig and remarks that he's going to go easy on the sketches in this video, as he feels it's getting a little weird even for him.
- "I pronounce the name "Daigle" several different ways in this review because FUCK CONSISTENCY!"
- The Dom's self-described "clumsy evolution metaphors."
- The extremely awkward showcasing of Reginald's conversation with little Rhoda.The Dom: Ah, the fifties. A slightly more innocent time where you could apparently have conversations that would put you on a WATCH LIST in the twenty-first century.
- Film-Rhoda ultimately receiving her comeuppance from the one person she didn't take into account: MIGHTY THOR!!
- Editing a few other films with their villains likewise meeting their ends "via random acts of God."
Game of Thrones S1 E5
- When the Dom refers to Ned "taking a knee during the national anthem" over Robert's plan to assassinate a pregnant Daenerys:Achievement Unlocked
Make an instantly dated political reference - Criticizing George R. Martin for not having Ned and Jaime actually engage in any swordfighting in the book:The Dom: Gods damn it George, you edging son-of-a-bitch, you can't get me so close then refuse to finish me off.
- "Um, you're welcome for that mental image, by the way."
- "I just cannot wrap my head around who could possibly have read this cautionary tale about the dangers of allowing an agency like the Central Intelligence autonomous power to MURDER their way across the world, wiping out leaders both foreign and domestic and shaping history to suit their purposes, turning men into monsters because the work they do is for monsters not men, a story about awakening a beast that would otherwise have happily slept on, and most of all, a story about death upon DEATH upon DEATH, and thought to themselves: 'Y'know...this story would make an amazing COMEDY!'"
- Halloween is the Dom's favorite holiday due to it being "the one thing stopping Christmas from spreading further out into the year full-scale, like the gangrenous infection it is."
- Deliberately describing the actor playing Isaac as the only good child actor in the film, then a few clips later admitting that he is well aware that the actor was an adult with a medical condition, he just wanted to see how many people would try to correct him in the comments without even watching a few more seconds into the video.
The Secret Circle of Imaginary Friends - The Dom Reviews
- The Dom making several failed attempts to pronounce the author's last name, before Jeavons himself pops in to correct him. Then he pronounces it even worse.Mike: Yoooouuuuu...prick.
The Dom: (cheerful) Hm-hm, British bonding!- Mike gets some revenge during the credits.
Mike: Look, Dome Smythe... - The Dom gives a spoiler-free synopsis of the book, then says he will wait for everyone who wants to read it to go do so before he gets into spoilers. He then waits for a full 35 seconds, during which he juggles some oranges, drinks some water, and posts a tweet.Do not be afraid to fail,
Be afraid to not try.
Also clowns.
Be afraid of clowns.
The Dom: (chuckle) I'm deep. - The Dom not quite being able to relate to the twelve-year-old protagonist being so protective of his younger sibling, imagining how he would have reacted to the same situation at that age.The Dom: Buh-bye! Have fun! Remember, if you see any bears, go RIGHT up to them, they're super friendly! It's the same with wolves! You can pet them with NO consequences! (to himself) Heh-heh-heh...I'm getting the bigger bedroom.
We Can Remember It For You Wholesale
- The Dom being confronted by not one, but TWO future versions of himself, one from a dystopian future trying to stop his timeline from happening, the other from a utopian future trying to preserve it.The Dom: Ah. It's gonna be one of those sorts of days then. Joy.
- The dystopian future apparently involves "horny mutant squirrels."The Dom: Wait, what?
Dystopian-future!Dom: You don't want to know. - "I can't say that my preconceptions about what life as an internet critic was gonna be like have been very accurate so far, but, whatever. I guess you've just got to roll with certain things."
- The dystopian future apparently involves "horny mutant squirrels."
- "The interplanetary police are somewhat disgusted that someone could be so arrogant as to think up a story about the fate of the world resting in his hands...[awkwardly pulls at collar] Er-hem…"
- "[…]and he finally meets Malina, the girl he's apparently been dreaming about for months. Also, a woman with three boobs. Yup. Um...there they are. Uno, dos, tres."
- Assuming that the entire Mars adventure was just the implanted memories Quaid had paid for, imagining him going home to his wife after coming out of the simulation.Quaid: Hi honey, I'm home. I went on an imaginary adventure today at Rekall. I was a secret agent, and I got to go to Mars, and save everyone living dere!
Lori: Oh! That sounds...nice, honey. Was I there?
Quaid: Um...yes.
Lori: Did I...help you save Mars?
Quaid: ...Uh, you were actually a evil corporate assassin and I killed you in cold blood.
Lori: ...I think we need to get a divorce.
- The early production meeting on whether the movie would be more an adaptation of the short story or a reboot of the Schwarzenegger film.Producer 1: Okay, let's show people how a real adaptation is done. Gonna make you proud of us, Philip.
Producer 2: Oh, cool! So we're gonna include the alien dormice from the end.
(long beat)
Producer 1: ...So we're gonna need a woman with three breasts... - Naturally, the aforementioned three-breasted hooker does indeed show up in the reboot, with her accompanying Censor Box reading "Heeelloo" and "We meet again."
- How did the two future Doms make it back in time in the first place? "A Wizard Did It."The Dom: Of fucking course. TERRENCE!
Terrence: [Apparates in] What up, Muggle- (beat, as he sees the other two Doms) I feel like there's a story here.
The Dom: Yes, and apparently, you play a staring role in it.
Terrence: Ah, my favorite kind, then. Let's grab Reginald and talk about it over drinks.
The Dom: Reginald doesn't get to be on camera, you know this.
Terrence: Yes, well, you really should be nicer to him, you know.
- Pointing out how very blue the movie is.The Dom: Even the fucking potatoes are blue, WHY ARE THE POTATOES BLUE?!
- "I'm poking fun at this film because that's what I do, but I will say in the highly unlikely event that I ever procreate, I'm sure this will be on my list of movies to show...it."
- The Dom's reaction upon seeing the harpy's...attributes.JUST CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW PART 1
- PART 2 comes during the scene with Schmendrick and the...unexpectedly endowed tree.
- The Dom casually drinking a certain beverage every time the red bull is brought up.
- "Apparently, what I've always suspected is true: if cats could talk, they'd be unhelpful dicks."
- "What are the odds I'd get another three-boob movie right after Total Recall?"
- There was no mention of "tree-titties" in the book.The Dom: This was a decision, by the filmmakers, to add titties where there were no titties before!
- "It's a personal philosophy of mine that one should never date anyone who's ever put a bullet in you."
- "I suspect this character was supposed to represent what the teen readers wished they could be, rather than be a surrogate for them to believe that they are, which possibly explains why this novel never gained the same sort of following as later books, whose authors figured out that there's nothing people love more than a blank slate that they can project themselves onto."
- "Meanwhile, the girl from the club is being stalked by a bunch of mischievous acrobats, and one has to assume she's had a traumatic run-in with gymnasts in the past, because this causes her to completely lose her shit and run away."
- "Vivian stops her, in order to tell her to keep running away. Helpful."
- The film being inducted into the "Dumbass Prophecies Hall of Fame," alongside Homeworld 2 and Revenge of the Sith.
- The Dom quickly becoming frustrated with film-Aiden's stalker behavior, to the point of asking if his surname is Grey.The Dom: Aaaaaaugh, he dipped his finger in her chocolate, dude that's a fucking restaurant, now she has to start making it all over again I HATE this guy so much!
- Repeatedly pointing out how the secret werewolf rulers of the area seem oddly fond of blatant displays of wolf-based imagery throughout the city.
- "I'm not entirely sure how 'wolf tracks leading to house' equals 'let's murder all the humans living there in cold blood,' but then again, I grew up in England, maybe that's standard behavior for American hunters."
- "Don't think I didn't notice that you're Prince Char from Ella Enchanted, buddy, you're quickly becoming the kiss of death for adaptations."
- Given the director's apparent intense fascination with showing the characters jumping, the Dom suspects she has a secret room in her house full of trampolines.
