Funny / Survivor

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  • One of the final challenges involved the contestants running around with camcorders, filming themselves answering trivia questions. Rudy doesn't pay attention during Jeff's "Borneo Legends" spiel, and, in any case, knows he's not going anywhere. Cue Rudy repeatedly looking into his camera and answering "I dunno."
    • Hell, almost ANYTHING Rudy said was good for a chuckle.
  • Greg Buis, every time he appeared on screen (especially during his fake over the top Tear Jerker immediately following his ejection). His "pick a number" practical joke that he played during the Final Tribal Council of Borneo to this day still has people thinking that Richard won due only to luck (see Stealth Parody). Jeff Probst hated him because of his refusal to pay any reverence to the show or its rules, and was rumored to have stalked the Survivor crew in the jungle just to push to get on their nerves. I still want a coconut phone because of this guy.
    • His uncut exit speech was amazing, insane, and insanely amazing: "I'm glad you could all join me here. It has been quite an evening. A twist of fate that maybe some didn't expect and some... well... some did. It seems I've been voted off! There are a few things I would have like to have done had I remained on the island. Climb a tree, some vines perhaps, and go for a bit of a run. It's hard to say otherwise. It's an excellent game, well manufactured and well thought-out. A microcosm of humanity and humanitarianism possibly, possibly not, possibly just a game. Confess my deepest, darkest secrets, is that what we're here for? I'm not sure. In fact, I'm not exactly sure what I'm here for anymore. I know that we're here; it's just you, me, and those around us. I'm not sure when they'll start closing in. I hear noises in the jungle now. Things might be happening. Things might be taken over sooner than we think. Whether the rebel forces will be able to counteract with something like Operation Tapioca, I will not say. But if it does happen, I know nothing about it. I was never part of any such operation or involved with any people that were. I'm just saying it might happen soon. This is the deep dark heart of the Bornean jungle. Never underestimate what could happen."
  • Also, apparently all of Pagong voted for Jeff Probst during their first trip to Tribal Council due to not taking the show seriously.
  • Greg's loved one video, featuring his equally crazy sister cracking incest jokes. Rudy looks like he's going to kill someone while watching it.
  • Richard, an overweight, hairy, gay man walking around naked on his birthday ("in his birthday suit" as Sean put it) while laughing at everyone being uncomfortable with it. What's not to laugh at?
  • Richard's obnoxious, hammy rendition of 99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall during the Episode 11 Immunity Challenge. Everyone is extremely uncomfortable with it, especially Rudy (due to a bit of Manipulative Editing, it's made to look like he dives off the platform just to get away from him), and when Richard finally reaches his crescendo, he falls backward into the ocean which cheers everyone up.
    Richard: Sorry to leave you (all) without my music.
  • Richard and Rudy's roles in the tribe. Big gay Richard takes on the traditional masculine role of hunting dinner while macho Navy SEAL Rudy takes on the traditional feminine role of cooking it.
  • Kelly, a whitewater rafting guide, lost an boat rowing immunity challenge to Gervase, who was picked by his team to be their boat rower because he couldn't swim (and thus probably shouldn't be asked to tread water in the middle of the ocean).
    Kelly: (before the challenge) I'm a water all-star.
    Kelly: (after) I lost to the guy who can't even ***ing swim.
  • A couple of times, due to this being the first installment of the series and poor atmospheric/set planning, the Tribal Council itself would be screwed up due to torrential rain or sudden gusts of wind. It would douse or blow out people's torches before Jeff could snuff them and Jeff would meekly state "the weather has spoken" or "the jungle has spoken". Jeff himself would be drenched and desperate to avoid getting the votes all soggy. Sometimes, you'd even see the castaways in yellow rain ponchos given to them by the crew!! When Sean's torch went out, he jibbed, "Somebody snuck up on me".
  • Sean, for being forever known as the dentist with a nipple ring who came up with the inane strategy to vote people alphabetically, something with no rhyme or reason to it at all besides avoiding the radar.

  • Colby Ain't No Hershey Bar!
    • While Jerri is moaning about food (with a barely hidden subtext of lusting after Colby) he asks "Guess what we're having? We're having white rice!"
  • One immunity challenge involves using a rope to knock someone off balance. When Jerri is getting set up, this exchange occurs:
    Jerri:*Motioning to a loop in the rope* So I put this around my wrist?
    Colby:How about putting it around your neck?

  • Big Tom's reaction during the auction in Africa when he and Ethan decide to buy a mystery dish together and share it is easily one of the show's funniest moments ever. It was a breakfast dish, and it gave us a jolly Big Tom jumping all over the place going all "He did me wrong! I'll kill you, I'll kill you, I'll kill you... after I kiss you!" as well as "Ham! He's a jew and he won't eat the ham! He's a jew, he's a jew!". Talk about being a large ham!
  • Brandon and Frank's Out of Africa movie date reward, mostly because of everyone's reaction to it back at camp, and the fact that the two hated each other. Tom said if he were playing a dirty trick on them, he couldn't have thought of something better.
  • Ethan and Lex's journey into the village when they're trying to sell goats. Not before they set foot to their village, they were a laughing stock when they attempt to carry the goats down. Some time later, they manage to sell off the goats and Lex comment this nice line:
    Lex: I thought they're (goats) going to end up as happy goats, cruising around the country side eating grass, mating or whatever. We saw him with the two same goats making a beeline not twenty feet away straight into the butcher.
  • Frank was good for his unusual one liners.
    • "I was in the American Branch. It's called freedom."
    • "Linda's so solid, she's buried at the bottom of the Hoover Dam."
    • Frank's tribemates trying to explain to him what brunch is.
  • The story of Clarence and the chickens- the Boran tribe had one last chicken and Clarence wanted to eat it, but the rest of his tribe wanted to keep it just in case it laid an egg. The tribe makes an ultimatum- if the chicken lays an egg, it will live. The next morning, the chicken lays the tiniest egg, and Clarence is pissed.
    Clarence: Oh HELL naw!
  • Brandon fails so badly at the flaming arrow that he drops it by his feet. The noise he emits makes the moment.
  • At FTC, Brandon asks the other two who they would remove from the jury, blatantly hinting that he wanted them to say Frank, who he loathed. Ethan answers with "you."

  • Rob's analysis of Rotu when he gets switched over. When you're reading his barbs, keep in mind that the most vicious insults that have been lobbed thus far in the series were "Rich needs liposuction" or "Mike's an idiot."
    Rob: Gabe is definitely a brainiac. Probably thinks he's a lot smarter than he really is. When I first saw John, I thought he was a big time queer. He seems rough and tough over here, but he does all the cookin', so I won't be sleepin' next to him. Not the first night, anyway. The General is big and tough, and wants everybody to know that. He's probably got a little sausage. Tammy's engaged. There's not too much hope there. And Zoe's pretty nice, but come on. Without a doubt, Zoe is the toughest guy on this tribe.
  • Maramau was one of the funniest tribes ever; in fact, their humor was one of Marquesas' biggest selling points according to Jeff. They even made a Radio Show each morning. See it for yourself, it is a moment that has never even remotely been replicated.
    • The tribe talks about the No-Nos, the bugs that have been biting and annoying them. When asked if the black or white ones are more annoying, Hunter says the black ones bite more. Cute outspoken black man Sean immediately going "brrrrrrrrrng brrrrrrrrrng!"
      Sean: I'm Reverend Al Sharpton and this is an outrage!
  • John Carroll needs someone to pee on his hand after he gets stung by an urchin. If that wasn't a golden enough setup, it's 49-Year-Old Kathy Vavrick-O'Brien that moves Heaven and Earth to get there as fast as she can for him. Then she gets there, fulfills her duty... and then keeps going, both of them awkwardly standing there for nearly a full minute after she starts.
    Kathy: Finally when I think I was pulling up my pants, I suddenly got very embarrassed. But it made him feel good. At least I was able to perform in the call of duty.

  • Like Marquesas and Fiji, Thailand is also underrated in terms of comedy value. Brian, Clay and Helen had their own share of hilarious soundbites, Robb and Jan were both nutcases, and Jake told awful, ludicrous stories years before Coach hit the Survivor scene.
  • Seriously, the Attack Zone challenge just can't be put into words. It has to be seen to be believed.
    • And Robb's rage afterward.
      Robb: We lost guys, but it wasn't to someone better than us. We lost to a bunch of rules!
  • Shortly after the tribes move onto the same beach, Jake complains about Helen's constant dispensing of recipes, while we see her doing just that. Followed by a flawless edit to her standing in the same spot at night talking about more recipes, giving the impression that she'd been at it for all those hours in between.
  • Brian winning a reward challenge where he got to see a home video of his family. The catch: his wife, CC Heidik, (unbeknownst to the show) was a porn star, and she made a point out of going around their mansion and showing off all of his riches, totally destroying the image he tried to set up around camp as the down-on-his-luck humble car salesman. The Stinger is when she announces that if he wins, that they're going to Fiji. The Oh, Crap! look on Brian's face is priceless.
    • That's not even mentioning Clay visibly lusting after Brian's wife. Taken Up to Eleven when CC actually visits with the loved ones, including Clay's wife.
      Clay: Uh oh, [C.C.]'s got it going now!
  • In Episode 12, Big Ted The Teetotaler decides to temporarily stop abstaining from alcohol after he wins an awesome reward trip, so he takes a celebratory drink with Helen. Later that night, he becomes the definition of Can't Hold His Liquor.
  • This season also had the first time Probst has ever been unable to read a vote. In episode four, Clay cast a vote for Ghandia that read "Bye Bye Denver Diva". Even funnier is him, still in stoic host mode, telling everyone "enough of the nicknames".
  • When the rest of Sook Jai is distracted via goofing around near the shoreline on Day 13, Robb(who is slightly farther back in the ocean) is screaming and then collapses, submerging into the water. He got bit on the foot by a stingray, but due to Robb's loud nature, no one noticed until they noticed on land that he was bleeding.
  • Jake's Noodle Incident stories during Episode 9. We don't get to hear exactly what they are about, but we are led to believe that they are completely absurd.
  • How soon we forget Magilla The Monkey stealing everyone's food while they're away from camp.
  • Clay's ass fetish was pretty funny, even going so far to pat the elephant's ass that he was riding while he was on reward with Brian.

    The Amazon 
  • The sixth season, Amazon, was narrated by Rob Cesternino. Despite obviously rehearsed dialogue, many of his confessionals are hilarious.
    • "I don't like Joanna. She's always yelling about Jesus, and how Jesus loves Jaburu. I didn't know that Jesus had a vested interest in Survivor. Cause, as far as I've seen every picture of Jesus, he's a guy. And I think that he would want the guys to win."
    • "I don't see the women working well together. I know that their shelter is not gonna be as good as ours. I see them all crying, panicking, trying to build a cell phone, so they can call their boyfriends to come over and help them build a shelter. Outside of that I'm sure they've got maybe three sticks together."
    • "I said that the only way Roger is gonna win immunity is if it's a contest of 'Name that Perry Como song.' Or perhaps 'What type of prune is this?' Or some sort of other thing that only an old man like Roger would be able to determine."
    • "Since day one, Heidi has always been my favorite. But she looks like she could really use the conditioner and, uh, maybe some of that soap. She looks a little rugged and beat-down. But, look, I'll take what I can get. She's probably a 9 1/2 in real life. And right about now she's closing in on a 6. So that kind of levels the playing field for a guy like me, which is an exciting prospect."
    • "He [Matt] sits and sharpens the machete for an hour at a time. Why does he need the machete so sharp? I think he's gonna kill us. I'm afraid that when he is voted off, he's gonna take the machete and kill us after the vote."
    • "I really am very happy for Matthew. I'm very happy that he got to win the car. And I asked him that if he ever goes to Asia, or if he ever returns to the planet that he came from, that he said I could borrow it and go cruising for chicks."
  • While it's seen by many as mean-spirited, the Roger Sexton boot episode is so transparently against Roger and forecasting his boot that it revolves around to hilarious. It also helps that Roger has shown himself to be sexist and homophobic in past episodes.
    • Rob and Deena's voting confessionals bring this into another realm of hilarious.
      Deena: Realty check and mate. Never underestimate the power of a woman.
      Rob!Casey Kasem: Here comes tonight's long distance dedication. It goes out to Rob from New York. He writes "Dear Casey, there's a mean old man in my life that's about to leave. Can you please play something appropriate for me?" Well, Rob, here's your request. "Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey-ey, goodbye".
  • Although it's possible it was only funny because of her accent, Christy Smith is one of the most underrated quote machines in Survivor history.
    • "My foot is stuck in a tree!"
    • "You're a vessel of Christ, aren't you supposed to be a little nicer?"
    • "No garlic bread?"
    • "He's creepy"
  • During the latter half of the same season, Butch brought about a Crowning Moment of Funny for himself, but unfortunately at everyone else's expense. During episode thirteen(Days 34-36), he became obsessed with collecting firewood, proclaiming to himself and the cameras "I'm just a wood crazy nut, I guess." He even got Rob to be his wood collecting assistant, or as Rob put it, his "Junior Deputy Firewood Bitch". Then for no reason whatsoever, Butch starts to dance the Egyptian. Later on, during the reward challenge, all of the excess firewood under the shelter somehow connected with the tribal campfire, thus burning down said shelter and everyone's personal items (except for Heidi's). When everyone came back, Butch was the obvious culprit, but no one would tell him to his face. A link can be found here.
  • Rob Cesternino tricked Matthew and Butch into thinking that they had more power than they really had (at the time anyway), and telling them that they were near the top of an all male "chain" of command. The spy music and general cluelessness of Matthew and Butch during this scene is hilarious if a little mean.
    • Unfortunately for Rob, Matthew turned into a bona fide wheeler-dealer. The fall of Rob Cesternino is ironic because Rob picked him out for being an idiot, then begin to coach him on how to play, including telling him to throw challenges to look like less of a threat. Guess what Matt did in the FIC to seal Rob's fate?
  • Heidi, at Tribal Council, following a spider bite: "My strongest assets to this group are athletic ability and intelligence. And... hello... one of them is gone right now."
    • Jeff: "Which one?"
  • Any time the editing team decides to portray someone as slowly going insane from the experience, it's always hilarious. Amazon had both Butch and Matthew... the former with his insane wood-dance, the latter with his "staying alone in the jungle just sharpening the machete" tic. Good times.
  • For absolutely no reason, the producers decide to have Jeff travel from the final Tribal Council to New York on a jet ski. This entire scene lasts about three minutes.
    Ryan: It was pretty cheap.
  • Rob forbidding the tribe from asking the Magic 8 Ball about the outcome of challenges.
    Rob: If it says that we're gonna lose and we win then we'll know the magic 8-ball is a sham. And if it says we're gonna lose and we do lose then it'll freak us out.

    Pearl Islands 
  • The entire time the teams are in the village. Really, entire village scene was a hoot. Lets highlight some of the funny moment :
    • The Drake tribe finally put their raft aside while Rupert takes a breather while the tribes are busy buying and bartering. Just then the Morgans drag their raft up to where he's sitting, probably not aware he's there, and... leave the raft unguarded! Rupert realizing that Survivor uses the pirate theme, he quote "This is definitely an adventure of a lifetime. Pirates pillage. Pirates STEAL! Pirates takes advantage." So the next thing he did was taking all the shoes in the Morgan raft (except one pair of tennis shoes) into Drakes. Later, Rupert moves away from Morgan's raft and meets up with Jon and gives him the shoes he stole, which Jon curiously wonders where he gets it.
      Rupert: (gives shoes to Jon) Take them! Trade them! Barter it! Do whatever you want.
      Jon: Whose are these?
      Rupert: Pirated!!
      Jon: Oh! :D
    • The Spanish shopkeeper who wants the Drake group to trade Trish for the goods. Unfortunately Trish was so happy unknowing about that fact while Sandra keeps telling Trish to not do that since it makes matters worse.
    • Sandra stumbles on a family having a barbecue and trades them a gold chain in exchange for everything. The meat, the tin foil, the condiments, the cutlery, everything. The only thing she left was the grill. Thanks to Sandra the Drake tribe spends the night eating chicken and getting drunk, which is a hilarious scene in its own right.
  • Osten Taylor. He's a buff and otherwise intelligent guy who is afraid of a pelican(nicknamed Pelican Pete by Ryan Opray), constantly threatens to quit in over the top fashion, and sold all his clothes for supplies in a village during the first day, and subsequently became sick because of it.
    • Speaking of which, before they set of, after Jeff announces the new rules that they are going in this game with their clothes on their back, Jeff ask everyone for their personal items inside a bag. What Osten puts inside? After adding some of his stuffs...two bottles of booze and MP3 player.
      Jeff: (After noticing his bottles when some of the contestants laughing) You're really hoping, weren't you?
      Jeff: (After calling his name out while seeing his large amount of stuff in his personal bag) Look at that loot! That is pirate life. You got booze and music!
  • During the first challenge of Pearl Islands, the Morgan tribe inexplicably decide that taking off their clothes will help them out. As they're behind the other tribe at the time, we immediately get a shot of everyone's blurred-out rear ends labeled "Morgan behind." And the previous captions had stated "Morgan trailing" so there's no way it wasn't deliberate.
  • There was also a rather funny moment where everyone threw the challenge to let Fairplay win, thinking he really did lose his grandma. After the challenge ends you can see everyone sitting in clapping and looking sympathetic... meanwhile there's Sandra in the corner with a look on her face saying "I'm surrounded by idiots - he's so full of shit".
    • Everything relating to the infamous Grandma lie qualifies, honestly. Lillian's chiding Sandra for trying to take Fairplay out of the challenge ("His grandmother just died, Sandra."), the fact that he swore on his grandmother's grave the rest of the season, the infamous revealing itself ("My grandmother's at home watching Jerry Springer right now")... YMMV on whether it was hilarious or just low, but the fact that he made up this entire charade just because he got a kick out of it at least warrants some respect.
      • Of course, what tops it all is the story Jeff told at the reunion - immediately after the challenge, production called Fairplay's family at home to see whether they could do anything to help them after the loss of Granny Dalton... and Grandma herself, who had no idea that young Jon was even pulling this scheme, answered the phone. Could there be a more awkward phone conversation?
  • When Shawn and Jonny Fairplay are both voting for each other to leave, Shawn gives a long drawn out speech about why he's voting for Jon, while Jon merely exclaims while voting for Shawn "Fuck you".
  • At the FIC, after Sandra is out, Jonny Fairplay tells Lil, his mopey ally that has always cowtowed to him, that if she drops he'll take her to the F2. Lil not only tells him "no", she continuously denies him for nearly two hours, which she has never done before, and actually taunts him as he desperately tries to hold on, as Lil doesn't move a muscle. Meanwhile, there's Sandra in the background, smirking at it all.
    • On top of it all, Lil actually votes him out after that.
  • At Final Tribal Council Lill is asked why Sandra should not win. After apologizing to Sandra for what she's about to say, Lill's first reason is that Sandra called her a "motherfucker" a lot. Makes sense, all things considered.

  • The Bogus Tribal Council in All Stars.
  • Three of Rob Mariano's alliance-mates agree that they would be better off without him and start a meeting of their own mini-alliance... in which they all just stand around waiting for someone to come up with an idea, since Rob had been doing the thinking for them all until then.
  • Richard Hatch's return, if only because it distinguished how Survivor fans saw him (the Affably Evil genius that made Survivor as we know it) and how Survivor veterans saw him (a fat naked homosexual). Lex in particular took all sorts of shots at Richard.
  • Many people consider Richard to be the best part of this season. It is very clear that he was aware he wasn't going to last very long, so the entire time it looks like Richard couldn't give less of a shit if he tried.
    • "Everyone is really paranoid, which is a good state to be in. I suppose I should be to" *Rolls Eyes*
    • Most of the people who don't like All Stars say that the season went downhill once Richard was voted out
  • During the family visit challenge, Rob has to... eat farafu.
  • The Entire Touchy Subjects Reward challenge. One of the question goes "Who uses sex appeal as a weapon?" as when everyone reveal :
    Jeff: Everyone says Amber, including Amber. (Everyone cracks up while looking at Amber who also cracks ups) So you fully own up to using sex appeal.
    Amber: I fully own up to it.
  • The DVD Commentary for the finale. Highlights include Rob and Jenna getting into a heated debate over whether or not Jenna would have beaten Rob in the Final Two (to the point that Amber cuts in and tells them to change the subject), and all four of the commentators snarking at the various jury speeches:
    Lex: [kicking off his speech] "It's just a game..."
    Commentary!Jenna: "Right."
    Commentary!Rob: "He could've just said that, stopped there, and saved us all a lot of time."
    Kathy: "I get it, I get it..."
    Commentary!Rob: "I don't think she gets it."
  • In the third episode, the three tribes are given supplies for a competition to make the best possible shelter. While Chapera and Mogo Mogo do the task the best that they can, Saboga's Rupert tries to make a log cabin. By digging down in the sand. The rest of the tribe doesn't want to risk dissuading him so the other three Sabogas reluctantly help him despite knowing it was suicidal. After building the underwater shelter, the local judge Rafa goes through the shelter. His response to Jeff?
    Rafa: Saboga? Oh... no.
    • After this, Rupert is brought on as a reward for Israel's Survivor to help the others make camp. He does not do well.

  • During Vanuatu, Twila got into an argument with Eliza after she saw Eliza talking with Chris and (correctly) believed that she was plotting against her. In the middle of the argument, Twila asked Chris what his role in the discussion was, and he responded with an over the top "Whaaaaaat? I'm just layin' here, y'know, in the hammock!"
  • Later on in the final two, Chris and Twila are hanging out in the same hammock... and it snaps.
  • Sarge's rage on the morning after Rory's elimination.
  • Eliza shot Chris a Death Glare of her own at her elimination. His response? Shrug, and wave at her.
    • Chris' narration style was so dramatic and bombastic that it was hilarious- it went beyond what he said and was how he said it.
      • Chris and Chad talk at the merge about which of the men are the biggest threat. Chris offhandedly comments that Sarge and Chad have a "leg up" on him- then remembers that Chad has a prosthetic leg. He immediately interrupts himself with apologies and laughter at himself, but Chad laughs with him, offhandedly saying that there are so many "leg puns" that can be made.
  • Remember the jet ski in Amazon? This time, Probst gets to skydive and ride a motorcycle.

  • During an early challenge, Coby takes an extended moment to center himself before crossing a barrel bridge... only to slip into the water on the very first barrel.
  • Bobby Jon's transformation from mild-mannered Southern gentleman to growling chaotic hellbeast in every challenge. Jay Fischer of the Historians' impersonation of him adds to that.
  • James Miller had a brilliant habit of making confident predictions in Palau, and then being wrong about almost every single one. Also, his unique way of talking, full of dramatics, mispronunciations, and idiosyncrasies, almost always involving a "hell yeah", "you know", or "come on", and at times all three.
    • When he's voted out, some Korors (the other tribe) do a quick impression of James.
  • Katie Gallagher, Palau's Venom Mistress, had a few crazy good barbs against her fellow tribesmembers.
    Katie: We can't have a female alliance because Caryn sucks.
  • Speaking of Caryn, she was, through her awfulness at Survivor mixed with no Koror going pre-merge aside from the useless Willard, quite hilarious. Of special note was her last stand at Tribal, where she exaggeratedly calls Tom a liar and throws out the tribe's dirty laundry... while Jenn, the next target to go home, stifles her giggles.
    Ian: *holds up parchment with her name on it* Best five seconds of my day.

  • The feud between Jamie and Bobby Jon.
  • Speaking of which, Gary Hogeboom making up his identity as Gary Hawkins, despite not being a famous celebrity. When Danni, a sports broadcaster, actually recognizes him, he sticks to being Gary Hawkins... but claims he lives in the same state as him, went to the same college as him, and also played football. Yet he acts shocked whenever it's brought up in the game!
    • Late enough in the game, no one really cares if he was a quarterback before, yet he still sticks to his lie... and thinks that everyone believed it!
    • Amy O'Hara, Gary's best friend on Yaxha, made fun of the idea of him being a quarterback, playfully threatening to beat him down if he was and claiming she would find him, laughing the entire time. Gary's response?
      Gary: She will never find Gary Hawkins in Grand Haven, because there is no such thing as a Gary Hawkins in Grand Haven. She could be searching for years.
  • Judd Sergeant when he was angry was a mix of terrifying and hilarious. His highlight may have been when he was angrily asking his tribe if he was a listener, to combat Margaret's accusations.
    Judd: (to Cindy) Do I listen to you?
    Cindy: Yes, but-
    Judd: (to Rafe) Do I listen to you?
    Rafe: *stammers*
    Jamie: Rafe, have an opinion!
    • For winning a challenge, he gets a clue to the first ever immunity idol, that says that the idol is not on the ground. The lie he tells others?
      Judd: You guys, I just opened the note... and that thing is definitely, by far, on the ground. I just... I can't tell any more than that, for my own chances... but it is totally on the ground.
      • Cue Gary following him and seeing he's looking in the trees, and finding it himself.
    • Judd says that whoever is voted out shouldn't take it hard. Cue him being voted out.
      Judd: Thanks guys. Hope you all get bit by a freakin' crocodile. Scumbags.
  • Brandon had his own snarky, dry barbs. When everyone was celebrating the returnees Bobby Jon and Stephenie, Brandon said in confessional that Bobby Jon was "dumb, I guess you could say." When Judd fell out of the canoe on the 11-Mile hike, Brandon claims Judd had a "premature evacuation".
    • In a challenge, both tribes are given a sharp rock to cut some rope with. Brandon of Yaxha cuts it in five seconds. On Nakum, Jamie takes the entire challenge.
    • Brandon calls back to this when Jamie is being antagonistic at the merge.
      Brandon: Why don't you just shut up and go cut a rope

    Panama - Exile Island 
  • The challenge where everyone decided to chow down instead of doing the challenge. Except for Aras, Sally, and Terry.
    • The challenge doesn't even last that long.
    • After the challenge ends and Jeff tells everyone to stop eating, Shane stuffs an entire burger in his mouth and glares at Probst.
  • Shane deciding to quit smoking five minutes before the show starts, then going slowly insane for an entire season. Highlights include him randomly yelling at his tribe to not sit on a stump because it's his "thinking seat", telling Courtney that if she betrays him, he'll drive to her "shitty apartment" and kill her (and of course, she's only upset about the assertion her apartment is shitty), and him claiming a block of wood is his Black Berry and trying to send texts on it.
    • During the loved ones visit, Shane gets a visit from his son Boston. Cue him dropping to his knees and bawling his eyes out. While it is genuinely heartwarming to see how much Shane loves his son, the sheer nature of Shane also makes it inadvertently hilarious.
  • The Casaya tribe. Yup, the entire tribe. Every time they appeared on screen, you knew something hilariously awkward was going to happen (this was turned Up to Eleven during the merge when straight-laced Terry Deitz from the La Mina tribe became their primary source of antagonism).
  • Bob Dawg and Bruce drinking the entire tribe's last bottle of wine won from the reward challenge, and then sleeping in the outhouse. After Bobby admits he drank it, Courtney continues to needle him. Having had enough, Bobby says this.
    Bobdawg: I don't feel bad that I stole your wine. Like... I feel bad that I deprived them of wine. But I have no hard feelings whatsoever about the fact that you've been deprived of wine.
    • Pretty much anything that happened in the "Casa Del Charmin" was hilarious.
  • The reward challenge at final four, where the previously dominant Terry suddenly finds Aras giving him a real run for his money. Terry complains to Probst that he thinks Aras is cheating, but Jeff confirms that Aras is operating within the rules of the challenge. Overhearing all of this, a delighted Aras half-yells, half-sings "Somebody call a waahmbulance! Terry's crying on the co-ourse!" Completely childish, but very funny, and Terry totally had it coming.
  • At the FTC, Danielle comments that she wants to be a motivational speaker. Shane makes a "yeesh" face.
    • On the jury, Shane is sick of Courtney pushing off of him. To stop her from doing this, Shane nearly dives into Terry's crotch, pointedly making way for her to pass. She still touches him anyway.
    • A meta example, but the fact that Shane's current girlfriend is named Courtney.

    Cook Islands 
  • The Final Four Tiebreaker in Cook Islands. It lasted ninety minutes, by far the longest tiebreaker challenge in the show's history. The jury seems insanely bored by it, and at the hour mark, Jeff gives participants Sundra and Becky matches. Sundra runs out.
  • In Cook Islands, Yul gives a physics lesson during an immunity challenge.
    Yul: This is why I don't go on many dates.
  • After his tribe throws a challenge in Episode 2, Billy admits to Candice on Raro that he's going home. To cheer him up, she says "well, we love you!" He responds "I love you." At Tribal Council, he shows that he misheard Candice as "I love you" and that he takes it very seriously.
    • After he declares that his prize was "love at first sight" with Candice, Jeff hears her name and slams his hand on his lap, looking stunned.
      Jeff: Candice? From Raro Tribe?
  • Cao Boi, Flica, and Ozzy decided to explore an island neighboring their tribe campsite. Unbeknownst to them, this was Rarotonga's island. The Rarotonga tribe are not too happy about their unexpected visit.
  • At the Final 11 Immunity challenge, Raro used up their ammo, and Jeff is narrating over the challenge. Jonathan is clearly annoyed by him, and Jeff drops this incredible line:
    Jeff: Jonathan, getting frustrated by me!

  • The Slip-and-Slide challenge and Sylvia trying to swim down the Slip-and-Slide.
  • Boo was practically a walking accident in Fiji. On the same day, he managed to get something in his eye which was then washed out by his tribemates. Then, he was chopping wood...and cut his hand and knee when the axe slipped. His tribemates then wrap his hand and feet out, and before he could hurt himself any further, he just laid in the hammock. And then the hammock fell while he was in it. (Video in case you wanted to see...)
  • Michelle in the calling challenge. When Michelle appeared on a talk show after the episode where she was eliminated aired, the host informed her that a video posted of her falling had amassed over 50,000 views. Note that this was early 2007, when YouTube was still in its infancy.
  • Then, during the Rites of Passage/Torchwalk, they took everybody's falls and played them again in slow motion, making it arguably the funniest torch walk ever.
  • Fiji used the "What do you think of your fellow players?" Challenge. When Jeff Probst asked who the smelliest castaway was, most of the players wrote down Dreamz... and Dreamz even wrote his own name down.
  • The downfall of the Four Horsemen alliance. Whatever you think of Dreamz. he made that episode.
  • Boo decided to create a back path to the water source, so he could spy on anyone talking there and hear if anyone was planning to vote him off. While he was making this path, everyone else was at camp, talking about voting him off.
  • When Moto has to go to Tribal Council after giving up immunity, Dreamz says he isn't going to point any fingers on who is going.....then proceeds to say that Cassandra and Lisi are the only two they can afford to lose. The best part? He is actually pointing his fingers.

  • "First person voted out of Survivor China: Chicken." "DAYUM!"
    • Keep in mind that Chicken had spent the premiere quietly mumbling unintelligible things, and it was his lack of speaking up that got him voted out.
  • James Clement, full stop. Especially with that "hunk of wood" incident (see below)
  • The majority of the "I'm Not As Dumb As I Look" Episode that involves the 'hunk of wood and Jaime. What happen was James was 'kidnapped back' into Fei Long and was given instructions by Todd to retrieve the other idol in the Zhan Hu knowing that both camps has one idol each. So upon returning back to Zhan Hu camp, James secretly takes out the idol and a blank piece of wood that looks like the idol (by accident). The next day, while James was out, some of the Zhan Hu members notice the boards on the gate are missing. Upon further inspection, Erik notice the blank piece of wood and gives it to Jaime, wrongly assuming it is an immunity idol (even wrongly convinced it is after checking James' bag to find two boards). Cue to James saying this the next day :
    James: The first board where the Immunity Idol could’ve been was a blank board. Well, apparently it’s missing since I didn’t see it. I know an animal didn’t come up and take it away, so one of them picked it up and thinks it’s the Idol. I figure Jaime would’ve been looking for it, but there’s no way that dumbass taken the wrong one because it would have to say "Immunity" or something on it! The thought of this woman having a blank one... I would not be able to take it. I would pass out in pure joy. My... (begins laughing) Please let that happen. Please! That would be the best thing ever. (continues laughing and babbling) That would be the best thing, she’d pull out a fake thing and be like: (makes a confused face) And I’d be, “What you mean!? It don’t have the writing on that!” It would have to have something! What about one of theeeeeese! (mimes handing over the idol)
    • Sure enough, Jaime plays the 'hunk of wood' during Tribal Council, after talking about how she "Isn't as dumb as she looks". Unfortunately, once Jeff says this isn't the idol, he throws it into the fire while Jean-Robert gives a huge relief since he was worried he's going home while some cracks up and no one could look that dumb Jaime but laugh at her attempt.
    • James is hardly sympathetic after J.R. doesn't let Erik into the shelter.
      Jean-Robert: Hey... Jean-Robert thought he was going home tonight, man.
      James: So what you want, a hug?
    • Todd's jury answer to Jean-Robert is so good that J.R., a notable monologuer, walks back to his seat. Also on the jury, James is so tickled he starts cracking up.
      James: I ain't never seen anybody shut him up before. Honestly... I'm in awe!
  • The merged tribe has just decided to name themselves after their black buffs, leading to racist jokes, of all things.
    Jean-Robert: We can't do black because then, as soon as James is gone, we'll have to change the name.
    (Jean-Robert and James erupt into laughter)
    James: So I'm gonna stay here. I'll be alright.
    Frosti: Whatever, I was on the yellow team.
  • Courtney Yates, one of the funniest and snarkiest people to ever play the game. Often said quite rude things, but in a funnier way than anyone else could have done it. Especially noteworthy is her rivalry with Jean-Robert.
    • "Peih-Gee is on a crusade to be the most annoying person in camp. The position is filled. We have Jean-Robert."
    • "I'm voting for you [Jean-Robert] because when you snore at nighttime it sounds like someone's choking a walrus."

    Micronesia - Fans Vs. Favorites 
  • Eliza's reactions while watching Ozzy get blindsided in Fans vs Favorites. Also, pretty much everyone's reactions when Erik gave away his immunity to Natalie. (see below)
  • Every moment that Erik does during the entire season since he was a fan for 14 years and acted like a total fanboy.
    • "Dude that's Jeff Probst! He's standing right over there!"
      • "Erik you're a freak!"
    • Erik licking at Cirie's chocolate cake fingers during the Survivor Auction. Seriously he did.
      James: Something's wrong with this kid.
    • The entire episode where Erik giving up the immunity necklace to Natalie at the final 5. What happened was the girls were in the hot seat since Erik won the immunity necklace. However, Cirie came up with a crazy suggestion to ask Erik to give away his immunity while Amanda approves it telling Natalie to do it. Stunned, Natalie asks "Who would be dumb enough to fall for that?". Parvati responds "Ozzy. Jason. And Erik." So the girls 'worked on their magic' to sway Erik to give away his idol to prove to the jury he's honest and he would redeem himself. At the tribal council, Erik does it, to the shock of even the women who planned it. No points for guessing what happened to him.
      • To add insult to injury, knowing the outcome, the producers decides to reveal ALL of the voting confessionals instead of the usual 2 or 3 reveal. The best voting confession part was Cirie's and Parvati's. Poor dude.
      • Once Erik was voted out, cut to James, who had been voted out while sitting on two hidden immunity idols in his previous season, immediately declaring "I've lost my reign as dumbest Survivor ever!"
        Erik: You guys drive me crazy! I've should have known...
      • Cue Erik having his torch snuffed and running away from TC.
  • The entire "It's A Fucking Stick" scene. It's too funny for words. Watching Eliza Orlins try and fail to convince Jason Siska that a stick with two lines on it is not the idol is hilarious. Especially when she reluctantly plays it and Jeff throws it in the fire, Ozzy (who made the stick his "fake idol") says "Jeff, come on! That took hours to make."
  • The clusterfuck during Final Tribal Council when Natalie asks Parvati how her being a giant flirt translates to her performance in the bedroom. The Jury were both stunned and trying not to laugh, and Jeff just looked confused as hell.
    James: I'm confused.

  • The tribal council in Gabon, where Randy played a fake hidden immunity idol and got voted out. But before that, Crystal had walked up to the Confession Cam, says, "YOU HAVE MADE MY LIFE HELL FROM DAY ONE!! FORGET YOU, GO HOME, GOODBYE!!!" while voting for Randy... and she says so loud that everyone at tribal council hears her, including Randy! Cue to some of them cracking up even before the 'fake idol reveal'. (see it all here)
    • And when Randy went to cast his jury vote at the final tribal council?
  • Randy and Matty having a very extended fight in the F9 Reward Challenge about the best way to slingshot their golf ball into the target... less than a foot from the goal.
  • The winner prediction of many and by far the sanest of such a crazy season, Marcus, having a complete implosion, being voted out the first time he was vulnerable, and leaving Ken and CRYSTAL in charge.
  • Crystal Cox in general. She says that she's an Olympic gold medalist and lies that she's a preschool teacher and a full time mother, trying to sway others that she's not physically fit. Unfortunately, she is so abysmal at challenges that some didn't see her as as medalist and believe her false background. The amount of failure at every challenge she tries is astounding, even failing at the auction, rock/paper/scissors, and voting for the winner. Eventually she reveals during the reunion that she is and mention her friend calls up saying she sucks due to the multiple Epic Fail challenges.

  • Coach. Full stop. One the one hand he has the over-exposure of a Creator's Pet, but on the other hand the editors always seemed to go out of their way to make him seem like an idiot. The episode where he's sent to Exile Island just might be the funniest episode in Survivor history.
    • To comfort the tribe after Joe is medevac'd at the merge, Coach decides to uplift them with a story that tells them they can get through anything. Said story is that he used a helicopter to fly into South America, kayaked down the Amazon, was captured and tied up by pygmies who beat him, but escaped to kayak down the river. Brendan immediately has questions.
      Brendan: So how much does it cost to rent a military helicopter?
      • A Brick Joke in Heroes vs Villains: Jeff narrates the first challenge where Coach helps paddle a canoe with "Coach leading the tribe of Villains, using all of that life experience in a kayak!"
  • Even Sandy, despite being an early out, definitely delivered. We got such gems such as "ah'm pissed", "I wonder what a pace is?" and "these are fartin' beans". She drove her whole tribe crazy, but was amazing.
  • "Who is this jackass?" Said, unsurprisingly, about Coach.
  • Tyson Apostol, and most things he did. Basically the male counterpart of Courtney Yates.
    • "When it comes down to it, I want that million dollars. Exotic, expensive furs on my shoulder. Jewels on these pretty fingers. We're talkin' big time. I'll wear a tiara— a man tiara. Do they make those?"
    • "So I guess... Brendan or Coach is the leader? I don't know. It's, uh... I wasn't paying attention. I don't really care."
    • While many saw his treatment of Sierra as cruel, it was unquestionably funny when Tyson said that his friends were everyone except Sierra... including Brendan, on the jury.
      • If you still aren't convinced, don't worry- he gets voted out that episode! No one looks more blindsided than Sierra herself, the alternate target.

  • In Samoa, Erik "got clotheslined... by the clothesline!"
    • Danger Dave in general was a pretty funny guy.
      Dave (in confessional): "I won chicken. What did you do? Not that. Peace!"
  • On the Funny 115, Brett, who spent all season more invisible than almost any character that season aside from his challenge streak when he was played up as a massive threat, was made into a quite humorous figure - and it became a Running Gag to photoshop him into past season screencaps.
  • At the auction, John Fincher was given the option of eating a slice of pie or giving four others a slice of their own. When he asks everyone if they want pie, they give the safe answer, except for Natalie (who won a shower she was currently using) saying "Yes I'm stoked on pie!"

    Heroes vs. Villains 
  • Sandra burning Russell's hat at the end of Heroes and Villains and then helping him look for it afterwards to dispel suspicion. "So, where did you last see it?" Also doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome and a Karmic Ass-Kicking, considering that Russell gloated about destroying his tribe-members' belongings back in Samoa. Even Russell was self-aware enough to realize that he would have been a total hypocrite to whine about it, and actually gave her credit for it.
  • Before the first challenge, Jeff ask the contestants if they feel they're in the wrong tribe. Cue to Sandra raising up her hand first. This follows by Courtney, Coach, Parvati and Russell.
    • The only Villain who doesn't disagree? Jerri. She even lampshades this by pointing out her black hat.
  • Danielle and Amanda get in a catfight over an immunity idol clue. What makes the scene funny is that Colby just watches it eating popcorn.
  • At the Villains camp, Rob and Sandra are discussing how to make shelter. The conversation goes like this: "Well, we could make a nice roof with those fronds on the top of that tree. However, it looks pretty windy and dangerous up there. You'd have to be psychotically over-confident to try to cli-... Hey, wait... Let's ask Coach to do it."
    • Later, Rob ask Coach to get the palm leaves for their shelter. So as Coach gets up to the tree, Rob makes a bet to Sandra that Coach would pass while Sandra says Coach doesn't. Sure enough Coach gives up knowing it's not worth it as he backs down to the tree while hilarity ensures when Rob telling Coach to get back up while Sandra happily says he owes him a dollar.
    • After Coach inevitably fails:
      Rob: From the hero to the zero? More like from the villain to the never was!
  • In Episode 3, during a Sumo Match Coach uses his hands to knock Rupert out of the ring. He celebrates until Jeff tells him that's against the rules. Cue Coach giving Jeff the middle finger.
    • After Coach "wins", James helpfully points out "No karate chopping!"
  • During the Episode 2 Immunity/Reward Challenge, Randy suggests for his tribe to do the following with the heavy crates they were pushing:
    Randy: Roll it over Rupert's toe.
  • At the reunion: runner-up Parvati is seated between Russell and Sandra. Just look at Parvati's body language whenever they argue. For example:
    • With a straight face, Russell says, "Let me tell you how good I am!" while showing J.T.'s letter. Without missing a beat, Parvati drops into a sulking stance.
  • Speaking of J.T.'s letter, at the Final 12 after Rob is voted out, the Heroes believe instantly that Russell is on the outs of a female alliance. Russell plays into this with absolute overdramatics, despite strategically leading his tribe with Parvati. J.T. fashions an idea to give Russell an idol with a corny letter attached to it, with a (Rupert-recommended) last line about Russell proving he's not a villain. J.T. gives this to Russell, instructing him to vote out Parvati. Cut to Russell and Parvati reading the letter.
    Russell: *holding the idol* J.T. just handed me a million dollars. Hey, I guess he can afford it.
    Parvati: Why would you hand a Villain your heart? J.T. gave Russell his heart today, and Russell is just going to stab it a million times over, and hand it to me. And I’m going to eat it. *laughs*.
    • At the merge, Parvati gives her idol and J.T.'s idol to two women, sending him home.
    • Come to think of it ever since Parvati played again in Micronesia, she has witnessed many of the dumbest moves in the game.
    • At the Final Tribe Council, Sandra also make this as a Call-Back when J.T. was up and she comments that if she could have intercepted it she would throw right back at him. Cue to Parvati saying agreeing with Sandra.
    • At the reunion show, Russell shows a plastic frame up of J.T.'s letter while J.T tries to grab it and burn it.
  • Sandra was constantly fantastic, from her challenge performances to her quips against Russell.
    Sandra: I'm voting for Russell, because I've been waiting to vote him out for 30 days too long. It's time for revenge, and this is for Courtney, Boston Rob, Tyson, and even Coach, who I don't care about, but I'll throw him in there too.
  • The final immunity challenge was simultaneously hilarious and a Crowning Moment of Awesome. Especially priceless is when Jerri, Russell, and Parvati make it to the end within inches of each other, and Sandra is still way behind in the maze.
    Parvati: That was fun.
    Sandra: *wandering out of the maze* No it wasn't. It suuuucked.
  • At one point, Russell suggests to Rob that they should vote off some dead weight. Rob asks if he has anyone in mind, and Russell says 'Those two right here', and gestures to Courtney and Sandra… who were sitting right in front of them.
  • Courtney is a fantastic juror, reacting with realistic humor to the goings-on of the game. At the merge, she tells Coach "If that little troll [Russell] plays an idol..." and brushes it off like she doesn't care. When Russell says he doesn't understand how a crying Danielle (who he has bullied and lied to all day) can accuse him, Courtney throws her hands up with an "are you kidding me" look. When Russell wastes his idol, she laughs at him openly.
    Jeff: I'll go tally the votes.
    Courtney: You do that. *thumbs up*
  • At the second villains tribal, the vote is due to be split between Russell and Parvati 3-3, while their 3 vote for Tyson. For whatever reason you may believe, Tyson decides to vote Parvati, breaking the split as 4-2 for Parvati. Russell then plays his idol on Parvati, everyone in Tyson's alliance grins... except Tyson, who visually knows he voted himself out.

  • Fabio tended to be stupidly funny at times:
    • When Kelly B reveals her prosthetic leg, he says "Can you control it?" and proceeds to get a couple funny looks from people non-verbally asking "Did you seriously just say that?"
    • During a confessional, a crab walks by and pinches his toe and he calmly says "Ow".
    • Fabio doesn't get out of the water in one challenge and Probst asks what he's doing. Fabio just calmly says "I'm peeing."
  • Dan was great for a few one liners and moments as well.
    Holly: Looks like rain.
    Dan: Looks like the end of the world.
    • After he won the F11 reward:
      Dan: First time flying above the Nicaraguan jungle riding a zipline... it was okay. There aren't many ziplines in Brooklyn. If there are, you're a burglar.
    • At the horrid weather:
      Jill: Well the rain will have to stop sometime.
      Dan: That's what Noah said.
    • When Yve and Dan are arguing over whether or not Yve is arrogant in Tribal Council.
      Yve: Well at least I don't brag about my Ferrari and my three houses and my vacation home!
      Dan: I do!
    • At the infamous F9 quitting tribal council, when Na Onka was complaining that the rain and wind made her joints hurt, Dan (who just had surgery on his knees) gave her an incredulous look.
    • In the F13 reward, the tribes had to launch a small ball into a gigantic net with one lone defender in front of it while diving into the water. Dan runs forward... stops... throws it so softly that Fabio actually catches it... and then plops into the water. Cue an incredulous "really?" from Fabio.
    • One reward challenge split the teams up... with Dan not even competing and just sitting at a giant throne, and kicking his legs like a little child.
  • Right before one challenge, you can spot everyone boxing up the fire with wooden crates so it doesn't get wet. When they come back from the challenge, predictably, the camp had burned down. And no one seems to have any idea how it happened.
  • Fabio and Na Onka's feud throughout the show. Especially funny is how almost every argument between the two ends with Fabio speechless, grabbing the side of his head and staring up at the sky hopelessly.
    • Jeff instigates a moment between Na Onka and Fabio when La Flor gets to listen in on Espada's Tribal Council. When Na Onka complains about being starving, Jeff asks Fabio how the food is.
    Na Onka: You would ask him.
  • The first La Flor Tribal Council. The amount of infighting and implosions within such a short time, especially on behalf of Shannon, is awe-inspiring. Especially when Emmy-winning host Jeff Probst was forced to ask in perfect deadpan, "New York is full of gay people?"
    • Sash's Wham Line as he votes for Shannon after his homophobic comments related to the above line.
      Sash: You should have known better than to mess with the most eligible bachelor in New York. As they say in Nicaragua, hasta la vista.
  • Jeff Probst, of all people, randomly impersonating his own mother in the Final 6 Tribal Council.
    Jeff Probst: Let me ask you the question my mom would want asked, which is "why don't they have, uh, their own alliance? Try and do something or force a vote? It's crazy!"
  • Seeing people in the Gulliver's Travels painfully fake enjoying the movie.
  • Na Onka directly quoting Sandra Diaz-Twine.
    Na'Onka: Why you raisin' your voice at me? I CAN GET LOUD TOO!
  • La Flor's challenge entrance. What makes the scene is the reactions of the older Espada tribe, and Chase and Shannon trying to be serious throughout the whole thing.
  • Purple Kelly's entire existence. Since she quit eleven episodes in, she got zero confessionals and screentime... except for one that made her look like an idiot, where she talked about how the reward let players "milk your own milk".
    Chase: You never talk much.
    Purple Kelly: I know, right? Weird.
  • After the tribes swap Marty tells La Flor about how strict and disciplined they were about chores at the other tribe. When Marty says "There were no slackers" the camera dramatically zooms in tight on a very concerned looking Fabio.

    Redemption Island 
  • The first Redemption Island tribal council, where: 1) Philip cannot pronounce (or spell) "Francesca" 2) Philip reveals absolutely everything that has gone down between him, Francesca and Kristina, and 3) Boston Rob asks Kristina to give up her immunity idol. Jeff's face at 4:12 says it all.
    • "Let that be a lesson to you: government jobs ... stressful!"
  • Russell said he plays the game with "Trust". This is coming from RUSSELL HANTZ - someone who sociopathically bullied his way through the game without regards for how others saw him, betrayed almost every single person he aligned himself with... did he even watch the seasons he competed in?
  • Ralph, upon finding the hidden immunity idol:
    "Simple as wipin' yer hiney with toilet paper!"
  • Julie hiding Philip's shorts just to screw with him.
  • Stephanie: "Your other left, Ralph!"
  • The "participate or eat" challenge offered the choice between an endurance challenge or a feast of burgers, with only Phillip and Steve choosing the latter. The "Elapsed Time" counter typically featured in these types of challenges appears as usual... accompanied by a second counter labeled "Elapsed Burgers".
  • Boston Rob manages to snatch away a clue to the tribe's hidden immunity idol while on a trip to an active volcano without anyone looking. Since he already had the idol, he had no need for the clue, and since he didn't want anyone else finding the clue, he chucks it into the volcano during his confessional.
  • Steve Wright had zero respect for Phillip or his antics.
    Steve: Where's numbnuts?
    Julie: On top of the rock. *points to giant rock*
    Steve: Do you think he'll jump off?

    South Pacific 
  • In South Pacific, the first Redemption Island Duel starts. Semhar begins by going on a rhyme... and Probst just stands there and looks at her like she's crazy.
  • In episode two, this exchange:
    Brandon: (Referring to her game play) Parvati has screwed many a man.
  • After getting news that Stacey insisted on calling him "Benjamin" at the Redemption Island Duel, he goes on a rant about it, insisting that he makes even his parents call him Coach.
    • Stacey's whole rant about her tribe on Redemption Island, complete with sound effects.
      Stacey: Those are liars so red team look out for those right there. It wasn’t a team. It is Benjamin, Albert, and Sophie. But who is the ending two? Benjamin and Albert. But Benjamin is running the team. Benjamin is running the team. Makes ALL the decisions.
      Jeff: Coach?
      Stacey: No, Benjamin. Adults call him Benjamin. So I’m not gonna call him Coach. What’s his name? What was his birth name? It wasn’t Coach, it was Benjamin. And you know, they’re children. 26, 22. They go listen to all of Benjamin’s Halloween jokes. Chuck E. the Cheese jokes. They want it. He go off the Lord take them off their feet. ‘Oh Benjamin! It’s so loyalty’. C’mon. Everyday he got a story. I wasn’t buying it. (rolls eyes, fake laughs). No. So they try like yesterday like the tribe was all cahoots. Benjamin let’s give a hug. PSHT! Keep that hug. (points a “gun” in the air) BOOP! For me. Cause it wasn’t real.
  • Recap shows rarely have funny moments... but when Cochran mimics Keith, they even cut to footage of Keith and dubbed Cochran's voice over his own.
  • The Gilligan Cut at the beginning of a post-merge episode:
    Ozzy: (to Cochran, referring to the duel) Everyone has a chance!
    Ozzy: (confessional) [Cochran] doesn't have a chance.
  • Albert lays around the camp while Edna does laundry. Edna turns around for one minute and Albert had managed to knock down the laundry and put out the fire.
  • When everyone else on Upolu pretends to enjoy Jack and Jill, there are multiple shots of Sophie either not looking the slightest bit entertained or just flat out disgusted by the movie.
    • This may be a bit of YMMV, but what is even more funny is after Jack and Jill is to be considered one of the worst films ever made, it slightly made Sophie into the Only Sane Woman in that tribe since she is the only one shown to clearly not be enjoying that film.
    • At that challenge after Upolu wins, Coach orders his tribe "on your knees!" and instructs them to pray. Meanwhile, Ozzy is throwing a massive yet strangely unconvincing tantrum.
  • Coach trying to hug people he voted out and getting rejected every time.
  • Ozzy's Failed Attempt at Drama before his first duel. No one on Upolu fell for it.
    Ozzy: For revenge. Basically.
  • After Brandon is voted out after giving Albert his immunity necklace, the immunity necklace falls off of Albert's neck.
  • Sophie was always good for giving a good confessional.
    • "For some reason or another, Brandon wants to vote out Mikayla. I don't know what his deal is. Maybe Brandon is threatened by Mikayla because she's a strong woman, and if that's the case, it worries me because I think I'm quite strong as well."
    • "There's a lot of tension between Brandon and Mikayla. In his biblical terms, he'd probably call her 'The Whore of Babylon'."
    • "I almost felt that his personality is something Cochran has going for him here. I mean when I first came here I kinda felt bad for Cochran, it seemed like people bullied him, but I can see now why people got annoyed with him. You know, I get frustrated by the air he puts on, I think he's really proud of the move he made, and I think he still thinks that somebody will take him to the end. I don't like it."
    • Sophie shutting down Jeff at tribal council.
    Jeff: This has been an eye-opening tribal hasn't it?
    Sophie: No.
    • "Cochran says I know a lot of you feel indebted, I don't feel indebted to you, screw you!"

     One World 
  • In the first challenge, Colton jumps down and practically planks...causing the editing team to make a funny noise.
  • During a confessional, a bug flies into Kat and interrupts her thoughts.
  • Although the Cloud Cuckoolander has been done to death on Survivor in recent years, Greg "Tarzan" Smith is still comic gold. A 64 year old plastic surgeon with a strong case of Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness and little self-awareness, he brought a lot of life to a season that was often quite nasty.
    • Of special note is the Monica tribal council, where he quotes that he has "dropped my assertiveness to a different lodestar." Jeff is visibly stunned.
    Jeff: So that means... Hold on, I kind of like this, it's like a game.
    • Contrast that sharply with Leif trying to describe him:
    Leif: He definitely is a very complex... very... wisdom kind of guy. He also helps, uhm, better... explanate...
    Jeff: See, explanate. Not even a word!
    Tarzan: What he said is a neologism.
    • An episode after Troyzan declares "this is my island!" he loses early on in a coconut chop style challenge, and an effigy of himself is burned. Tarzan points out that the ashes and smoke in the air will make him a part of the island.
  • During a memory reward challenge, Troyzan and Kat must memorize six items that were placed on a shelf. Troyzan immediately shuts it without letting Kat get a good luck at it and just places random items up. This goes on seven times, during which there is a lot of Jump Cut-ing.
    Jeff: No (Jump Cut) Wrong (Jump Cut) No (Jump Cut) Wrong. This is your SEVENTH TIME.
  • Kat's blindside. During her final Tribal Council, Kat said she loved watching blindside, especially the person's shocked face when the votes were revealed. Seeing her face when she was blindsided was pretty satisfying and funny.
  • During a challenge of Water Basketball, there's a solid minute where Leif repeatedly tries to tackle Michael, and Michael continuously whiffs the shots, neither one getting anywhere. Leif trying desperately to run after Michael while Michael misses every shot is a sight to see.
  • Another meta example: Rob Cesternino tweeted that one of the key differences between Survivor and Big Brother was that when you get Peanut Butter and Jelly on Survivor, it's a reward. (An all peanut-butter and jelly sandwich diet was a punishment on Big Brother prior to slop.)

  • Angie saying at the Episode 2 Tribal Council that the thing that would make camp life better is... cookies. Cue an incredulous face from Probst saying, "Really?!"
  • Michael Skupin getting distracted by a nearby ant while having an otherwise poignant conversation with Lisa.
  • Skupin's injury montage in the first episode.
    • Skupin jumped into the water while wearing a mask during the episode 3 immunity challenge, and ended up with no mask and his face covered in blood.
    • Skupin getting a bit too close to the fire - again - in the penultimate episode.
    • Skupin getting headbutted by a shark.
    • Pete's comments about Skupin in episode 5: "Mike's stupid. He tells annoying stories, and when we're trying to make fire he has to throw his hands in and mess things up."
    • When Skupin's son comes in, he manages to hurt himself.
    • Abi-Maria tries to cut open a coconut with a machete against a palm tree. The coconut ends up flying off and almost knocking Skupin unconscious.
  • After Dawson is voted out, she lunges straight for Probst and kisses him on the cheek. And then, at the reunion, she does it again.
  • After Carter and Jeff Kent discuss the possibility of voting Jonathan Penner out, Carter accidentally asks Penner "Katie or Penner?" before correcting himself to "Katie or Denise." Penner either overlooks the Freudian Slip or just chooses not to comment on it.
    Penner: I sure would hate to lose Katie.
  • Jonathan Penner, not content with only two seasons worth of funny confessionals, turns his head towards the rest of the tribe and shouts "DENISE!" while voting for her in his boot episode.
    • And then, when he's leaving the island, he holds his arms out and begin whistling the Survivor theme song (badly) while he walks away. And then comes back, still whistling, and stretching his arms out for the "crowd". Yes, Jonathan Penner gave himself a standing ovation. What did you expect?
  • Denise voting for Abi:
    Denise: If this vote doesn't go as planned there is something seriously wrong in the universe.
  • Jeff Kent, who made $60 million playing baseball, complains about the prize upon elimination: "It's only 600 grand after Obama takes it!"
  • Abi and RC's friendship- while RC proved herself troublesome in Ponderosa, it is funny how Abi managed to hate her supposed best friend by the second episode, through seemingly no fault of RC's own. To this day RC still won't play a season with Abi-Maria.
    • At the second merge Tribal Council, Malcolm reveals his idol and threatens the tribe. Shocked, Jeff asks sarcastically if anyone else wants to reveal their idol. Abi-Maria does.
    • Abi pretending she has an advantage in the challenge and a fake idol at the Final 7... then dramatically ripping the paper with her advantage up at the challenge.

     Caramoan - Fans Vs. Favorites 
  • It may be soul-crushing for Francesca, but no one can deny the humor in seeing her voted out first for a second time. Bonus points in that it was once again caused directly by her arch-nemesis Phillip.
  • Phillip directly addressing the camera when introducing his alliance, "Stealth R' Us, Inc", complete with spy music in the background. His alliance's reactions, especially Malcolm's, make the scene.
  • Shamar shouting "That's what I'm talking about!" in celebration after the reward challenge in episode 4...only to find out shortly after that the other team had won.
  • Malcolm getting an idol from Reynold at Tribal Council, now immortalized in Lego... and song.
  • The Phillip Boot, full stop. Malcolm's masterful showmanship and sharp lines ("Phillip is a fun sponge."), the varying looks on people's faces, and the excitement of the Stealth R'Us alliance being forced to strategize aloud in Tribal Council, and Phillip being unable to find his torch upon being voted out are only highlights. Watch it for yourself.
  • During one Tribal Council Andrea discovers her second vote for her and she blurts out "What?"
  • Cochran gets picked by the editors as the narrator for the season, and does a great job altering between snark and faux-cockiness, especially following his challenge wins.
    • Cochran telling Probst to stop talking about his mom during their team-up reward challenge.
  • Reynold's jury speech, where he makes Dawn use three adjectives to describe him and yells "YES!"at the top of his lungs when she comes up with "chauvinistic".
  • Cochran is asked if he'd be sitting beside people like Eddie and Reynold at the bar, or sitting away from them. Cochran says beside them, but then clarifies there'd be a woman on each side of him.

    Blood vs. Water 
  • Pretty much any scene involving Brad Culpepper, most notably when he had trouble trying to explain how 5 has a majority in a tribe of 9.
  • Tyson explaining his cupcake belt buckle he got from a gas station pre-game.
    • Also, Tyson and Gervase stashing coconuts away from everyone else in Galang. They're almost found out when Laura B. is inspecting the coconuts and finding that they've been tapped into, but Monica unknowingly saves them by blaming the crabs for them. Gervase's confessional afterwards where he expresses his relief is hilarious as well.
  • When Vytas becomes the last man standing on Nu Galang, Tina takes to confessional to detail her admiration for the man, going so far as to say that she'd be honored if he took an interest in Katie... before going on to detail how horrible of a flirt Katie is on National TV, even saying that Vytas would have to "hit her over the head with a club and drag her back to his cave" before saying that she was hoping for grandbabies. Needless to say, there was probably a "moooom, you're embarrassing me" at the Wesson home that evening.
  • Laura Morett talking so much about wanting to come back into the game for her daughter, while meanwhile Ciera has stated in confessionals that she thinks her mother will hurt her game. Her displeased facial expressions during her mother winning Redemption Island seal the deal.
  • Tyson on dealing with Monica:
    Tyson: “You have to show her a little love, you have to show some respect… but she just likes to repeat the same idea over and over again, and I don’t want to be rude to her because I wanna keep her close, but at some point you wanna say… Monica, shut up. I’m just like, give me a rusty spoon so I can gouge my eyes out, and then I’ll jab the stick into my brain. It’s taking all of my patience. All of my patience.”
  • Gervase having to, once again, face live grubs in an eating challenge as a Call-Back to his infamous incident in Season 1. His reactions all the way through are so over the top and hilarious.
  • Tyson goes to play his idol in the Final 7... but when he has (or pretends to have) trouble finding it, he begins to rummage through his bag for it, at one point even instructing Katie to start holding things as he pulls them out. After a full 30 seconds, he pours out all the stuff from his bag and then picks the idol out to play.
    • Made even funnier by Gervase's exasperated "really, man?"
  • When Tyson finds the idol a second time, he has no pockets to hide it in. He opts to stuff it down the front of his pants where, as he puts it, "no one will suspect a bulge."
  • Surprisingly, Katie Collins has emerged to become possibly the funniest contestant of the season. Small moments of hers appear randomly through the season.
    • When Aras asks Katie if she's okay voting for Ciera, she replies "It's a game... bitch."
    • During the Final 6 Immunity Challenge, the contestants have to balance a ball on a long stick. Katie drops it onto her head. A few scenes of intense action commences... and then cut to Katie dropping it on her head again.
    • Katie is on Redemption Island after being the second person to draw rocks in the history of the show and draw the fatal rock. Her reaction and final words confessional? "I rocked out."
  • Tyson interrupting Hayden as he argues with Gervase in the incredibly intense Final 6 Tribal Council (where rocks would be drawn) to correct his Malaproper, ruffle feathers, to rustle feathers.
    • In the same episode, Gervase shouting his voting confessional for Hay-Done, a la Crystal Cox.
    • After Katie draws the rock and is sent home, Tyson applauds Katie for her bravery... before pointing out her chair as a juror.
  • Think of how intense the storyline between the Baskauskas brothers is. Between Aras crying in his pre-game interview thinking about Vytas' drug addiction, Vytas confessing that envy made him hate his brother sometimes, the sumo challenge fight, their reunion at the merge, Vytas cussing out the tribe in his final tribal council for blindsiding his brother, and their tearful goodbye. With that in mind, could you imagine that the last time we see either of them this season is doing the robot in the background of Tyson getting his check at the reunion?

  • Anytime Tony goes into Large Ham mode.
    • Crowning Moment of which goes to him, during an intense argument with Kass in the Final 5, calling her a llama and spontaneously imitating one. Needless to say, it is amazing.
    • Making his Spy Shack at the back of the shelter is one thing. Making it again post-merge is another. It actually working is by far another.
    • Tony wants to earn the loyalty of his swap tribe, so he tells everyone he lied about being a construction worker. This does not get the reaction he wanted.
      L.J.: So Tony showed us he was trustworthy by telling us he lied. Different.
      • Even funnier, despite him telling nearly everyone, at a merge Tribal he is still keeping up the construction worker lie, despite clearly having no idea what that job entails.
        Tony: You turn around and someone's swiped your tools!
  • The first time Luzon arrives at tribal council, Garrett is startled by a spider climbing up him.
  • Spencer's first vote for J'Tia.
    Spencer: The fact that you're a nuclear engineer is genuinely, genuinely scary.
  • For the reward challenge(before the fourth Immunity Challenge), a person is at the top telling the blindfolded people where to go. Hilarity, getting hit in the groin(both genders), and falling down ensues.
  • During the fourth Immunity Challenge, the Brawn tribe tries to throw the challenge, but the Brain tribe does so horrible, the Brawn tribe accidentally wins.
  • In the beginning of Luzon's third Tribal, Jeff uses body language to properly express just how annoyed he is at their failures. Yes, they suck so bad, Jeff can't use words to describe it.
  • While it must be pretty bad for them, there is some hilarious Irony at the Brains tribe (aka, the alleged smart people) being one of the worst tribes ever.
  • With New Solana down 6-5 at Tribal Council, Tony announces he's going to play an idol on one of the five, taunting them all. The New Aparris whisper to each other to vote for The Other One. After the vote, Tony announces he's playing the idol on LJ. After that, LJ gets out his idol and announces he wants to play it on Tony in exchange. After this bizarre exchange, the two laugh and joke about it, thrilled to have saved themselves with epic music in the background. And then the music stops and the first vote is read, revealing The Other One: JEFRA. It makes no difference as it turns out Kass flipped, but that moment qualifies as one of the most Oh, Crap! Survivor moments ever.
  • When Spencer comes back from a reward to look for an immunity idol, Woo follows in self-professed Ninja Stealth Mode, culminating in an expertly narrated confessional as Woo steals Spencer's idol clue and runs back to camp.
  • Coming back from Tribal Council, Tony tries to put his torch with the others, and then the torches all fall down as he does so.
  • Kass tells Tony that it's a little too soon to be turning on a team of six. Given who's saying this to Tony, it's amazing Tony was able to keep a straight face.
  • At the Survivor auction, Woo wins a plate of ribs, which is bizarrely accompanied by a Sexophone and some unnervingly sultry Jeff Probst narration.

     San Juan Del Sur 
  • Wes and Keith recount their Day Zero story- they actually broke the flint they were trying to use to start a fire.
  • The scene where Wes tells John Rocker he knows who he is, for so many reasons:
    • Wes is carrying a gigantic bundle of branches. John is not carrying any. This is not at all addressed.
    • Wes is a huge fan of Rocker, whereas his father earlier labeled Rocker as an asshole in a confessional
    • John tries to make up a last name on the spot, and comes up with "Wet(te)land", which is either another MLB relief pitcher or just the exact terrain they're walking in at that particular moment.
    • Wes takes a painfully long time to get to the point in order to bust Rocker, in order to rub it in. In one point he asks if John's last name (R-O-C-K-E-R) has five letters. John actually has to think it over for a moment.
    • John finally confesses when Wes starts talking about how awesome John is.
  • With her back against the wall, Val comes up with one of the most ridiculous, outlandish lies you could think of. Several members of her tribe completely buy it. Even worse, it's the lie that sends her home.
    • To explain it, Val starts night three after the Nadiya vote-out claiming that she has two idols, to defer others from voting for her. This is insane in and of itself, as there is only one idol a tribe and it's been three days. However, after an Exile Island deal with Val's husband, John Rocker tries to save her. He finds the idol, and then tells Val to play one of her two idols, despite already having the Coyopa idolnote , and lets the vote split 4-4 in the hopes that Val plays her idol, and doesn't do anything else. Obviously, she doesn't, which stuns Rocker, who votes for Val and gives a voting confessional venting angrily that Val didn't play her idol. At no point does it cross Rocker's mind that maybe Val didn't leave with two idols.
  • When Josh and Reed fight in the sumo match, Drew accidentally roots for the person on the other tribe.
  • After getting berated by her in Tribal Council for flipping, Baylor's voting confessional for Val is just an exasperated sigh.
  • Drew as a whole. Anything that comes out of his mouth leaves you with a red face.
    Drew: Basically, I'm a badass.
    Jeremy: Basically, he's a moron.
    • Drew has possibly the most humiliating round of gameplay in Survivor History.
      • He's already spent 9 days alienating everyone on his tribe with his laziness and arrogance, and decides to start round 4 going against his tribe in trying to convince Probst to take a trade for their old flint after they found it, despite Probst giving them hell when they tried to trade last time.
      • After that, he goes to Exile Island with his best friend's girlfriend, and immediately tries to flirt with her. It's there where he decides to throw the upcoming immunity challenge to get rid of "snakes in his tribe", without telling anyone, which he gladly tells Jaclyn. He does in fact throw the challenge without consulting anyone, sending them to TC.
      Drew: If I want to throw the challenge, I will throw the challenge. That's what makes me the kingpin of this tribe.
      • Jeremy and Jon both go to him with offers to vote out Keith and Julie, respectively, but Drew shuts them both down, insisting that they have to get rid of the true snake, KELLEY, who up to that point had barely any focus whatsoever.
      • The fact that he thinks a girls' alliance will take over the game if Kelley isn't voted out, despite the fact that the girls are down 5-4.
      • He will not listen to anyone else at all. He keeps railing against Kelley to everyone, even two feet in front of Kelley, which he says blatantly that he doesn't care about. Even his best friend Jon is calling him out on being a jackass.
      • He ends up angering everyone so much that he ends up being the only one to vote Kelley, the other guys scatter their votes between Keith and Julie, and the girls band together with Jeremy to vote out Drew. That's right, Drew's own horrible gameplay against an all-girls' alliance created an all-girls' alliance to take him out.
  • "Wesley's a good kid. I mean, he ain't been to jail yet."
  • Jon yelling "Who's 'Big John' now?!" when he's winning a challenge. They then lose.
  • Someone said that they thought Alec was a threat and might have had the idol... when the camera showed Alec with a look of utter obliviousness on his face.
  • In Episode 8, Jaclyn wasn't talked to by the male members of Josh's alliance while Jon was on Exile. When Jon returns, she brings this up. As Jon was combating this point, Josh's boyfriend Reed walked up, welcomed Jon back from Exile, talking briefly about the vote with him, then leaving, ignoring Jaclyn entirely. Josh was sent home that night.
  • In Episode 10's Immunity Challenge, Reed and Natalie attempted to mimic Keith's spitting. Reed was successful, while Natalie's attempt ended up with her getting all of her spit on her shirt.
    • Wes bragging about his chicken nuggets record at the same challenge. "
      Wes: I won the chicken nugget eatin' contest. 58 chicken nuggets in 5 minutes.
    • Wes also bringing up Jeff's Shirtless Scene on Two and a Half Men while completely punch-drunk after eating.
      Wes: Remember when you were on Two and a Half Men and you were naked cooking pancakes?
  • A rat interrupts tribal council.
  • The vacant, open-mouthed stare Alec has in almost every shot of him on the jury.
  • Natalie takes Jon and Jaclyn on a reward. Missy and Baylor look offended. Keith, the outsider, says "I'm used to it."

    Worlds Apart 
  • While often caustic and mean, Jenn gives tons of fantastic motormouth confessionals about any and everything.
    • Commenting about Vince hugging her: "We smell bad, okay? We smell bad."
  • Shirin spends most of the pre-merge being lively and energetic, while consistently annoying the fuck out of anyone besides Max within five-hundred yards of her.
    • In episode two, she strips her underwear, walking around in just a bra. This leads to her talking with Joaquin and Tyler about the dishes. Tyler looks away, clearly wanting to be anywhere else, and Joaquin just stares ahead like nothing's wrong.
    • In the third episode, Shirin witnesses monkeys having sex and gives it a play-by-play to the confessional as well as the rest of her tribe, who promptly spend the rest of the scene discussing how strange she is.
    • She talks in episode four about how she learned how to butcher a chicken from a farmer, and practiced by killing a rabbit. Joaquin's stunned confessional sells it.
    Joaquin: First thing that came to my mind was like, "oh, sociopaths, you know. First thing they start doing, you know, is killing small animals."
    • This image sums up the Shirin experience beautifully.
    • Shirin interrupting herself in the Max Tribal Council because she feels that Jeff is staring at her too intensely. He is so clearly lost, looking around the room and jokingly asking if his botox looks wrong.
    • When Dan gets stung by a stingray, Shirin eagerly asks if she needs him to pee on it for him, clearly excited about the opportunity to create a Call-Back to the scene in Marquesas where Kathy pees on John Carroll.
  • Episode 2 featured Max and Shirin's nudity becoming offputting to other members of the camp, Nina becoming upset that Jen and Hali neglected to ask her to go skinny dipping, and Dan losing his underwear in the water. Yes, somehow all three of the tribes had a nudity-related subplot in the same episode.
  • Rodney's breakdown during the Blue Collar fight scene, including getting enraged at Dan for calling his mother a whore, ranting for around a minute about Boston's real estate situation and how "ain't nobody want to live in Texas" while impersonating Mike with a Simpleton Voice, and getting a massive pile of firewood and furiously throwing it down onto the ground, then stomping away.
    • Similarly, Rodney's habit of putting on his 3 Cs - "cool, calm, and collective" as he says - before he senses he'll get into a confrontation, and the camera immediately panning to him yelling at someone.
  • Every time Dan claims to have grown as a player or claims to be amazing at something, and then is shown immediately botching it afterward. By far the best has to be when Mike tells him not to badger Sierra when he apologizes for laying into her after the vote, and Dan condescends in a confessional saying that he's talked to more women than Mike ever has. Cue him apologizing to Sierra then insulting her immediately afterward.
  • Max's downfall episode, where he and Shirin are so far into la-la-land being Survivor fans that they annoy everyone else to death with their chattiness and they vote Max out.
    • Max trying to quote "Hold up, bro" while faking that he has an idol, and Jeff giving him the dirtiest look humanly possible.
    • Jenn gives an animated confessional about Max and Shirin racing to the finish to see which one is the most annoying, narrating it like a horse race.
  • Mike decides that the name of the merged tribe should be "Merica." The reactions need to be seen to be believed. While Mike and Hali are ecstatic, Shirin is mortified. Yes, the resident Cloud Cuckoolander thinks the new tribe name is stupid.
  • "Is Rodney smart?"
  • Rodney's AMAZING impressions of Mike and Dan in Episode 9.
  • Jenn's blunt, straightforward final words lambasting nearly everyone in the enemy alliance. Made even better due to an editing trick that brought up each of her enemies' vote as she insults them.
    Jenn: A lot of people suck super hard, Will seemed to be nice person but he's kinda shattered now, Sierra, I don't know, she just sucks. I hated Rodney, but I really hate Mama C, the same way I hate Dan. They're just fake, and it kills me. I can't wait to see the rest of this tribe destroy each other, I just hope they're not on the jury soon so I don't have to see their faces.
  • The Final 6 Reward Challenge for various reasons, but mostly because the puzzle is either so obscure or the contestants are so out of it that the word puzzle "A Reward With All The Fixin's" takes an hour, so long that Jeff impatiently starts throwing out less-than-subtle clues to get their attention. There are plenty of other moments too, like:
    • Jeff baiting Rodney to whine about never going on a reward before calling him entitled to his face.
    • Jeff saying "Communication is key!" just before a shot of Rodney running away from the team with a bunch of letters.
    • Dan the superfan treating Sierra like an idiot for actually providing the right answer, ignoring it.
    • Jeff saying "I say the same 200 words. I'm in therapy from saying them so many times."
    • "Shain't" from Dan, "a reward to fix wishing" from Rodney being bad enough to make everyone else laugh at him.
    • Carolyn asking 45 minutes in "Can we buy a vowel?"
    • Carolyn finally getting it and singing "Oh my gooood" out of sheer excitement.
  • The Final 4 Tiebreaker. While not nearly as big an Epic Fail as Cook Islands, it is still quite funny with how Rodney and Carolyn made it to day 38 but neither can make fire. They take almost an hour and literally break the flint several times.

  • Despite only being around for four episodes, Jeff Varner made a gigantic splash, not the least of which was because of his fast-talking sense of humor. Of particular iconic note is him talking about Shirin's mile-a-minute strategizing.
    Varner: Shirin is talking a mile a minute. This train took off and I’m glad I’m on it. I just got on it. I don’t care who’s pulling me in the woods— “Yes,” is your answer. It’s like, “Damn, mama! Slow down! (laughs) I just got here.” And you know, a train will only go as fast and its conductor will take it and she’s hitting the gas… (startled) What just bit my ass?!
    • Another one of note is when Varner watches Abi deliberately go to alienate the outsiders.
      Varner: Abi is our own little Brazilian soap opera that we can just turn on and watch whenever we want to. And there are buttons you use to push to get it at various levels of entertainment. I see Abi as somebody everybody hates, which makes her somebody that I know I can beat. She is the perfect tool to help me win one million dollars. Oh, my God! This is delicious! Who needs food when you’ve got Abi?
  • A bat interrupts tribal council in Episode 4, freaking out everyone present. Abi in particular nearly dives into Savage's lap head-first.
  • During the episode 5 immunity challenge, Stephen starts to take aim, but accidentally aims at the Angkor target and hits it, giving them a point.
  • After Savage is blindsided by the loss of his ally, his confessional slowly dissolves into anger.
    Savage: It was a very tough night for me. I go to Tribal, I thought it was a lock. They didn’t include me… and they’re incredible liars. I thought I could read people pretty well. (shakes head) I mean, they’re professionals. These folks are professional. I feel the most betrayed by Kass. I thought she was really strong with the Bayons, but after last night she became a Ta Keo. And I’m not going to go down without a fight... Fuck them! Pieces of shit! (awkward silence followed by a big fake grin)
  • Abi is her own golden fountain of self-unaware hypocrisies and barbs.
    • Her claiming she's going to be fair about the bracelet incident with Peih-Gee only to rat her out to everyone with a pair of ears on the tribe.
    • Deciding out of nowhere just to fuck with the outsiders by listening in on their conversations.
    • After Woo tells a heartfelt story about how his mother inspires him to be the best he is due to her surviving heart surgery, Abi tries to gain sympathy by comparing it to her tendon transplant, gaining a dismissive brushoff from the listeners.
    • Telling Stephen flat-out to get over it when he was upset that he lost the reward challenge.
    • If you fuck with Abi you're dead.
  • Kass makes her first jury entrance by flipping the entire tribe off.
  • Keith is a wealth of great under the radar moments.
    • Giving a confessional about Joega, saying that he gets up, drinks his coffee, and goes to work "like 99% of America."
    • Playfully arguing with Kimmi over a mishap with the fire after they get to their new camp.
    • Making cat claws in the background of Kass and Tasha fighting to a laughing Kelly Wiglesworth.
    • Practicing a golf swing immediately in the shot as the Bayon tribe dissolves into vicious fights come merge.
    • Flubbing an attempt to give Jeremy a gung-ho signal after he learns the vote is Kass.
  • When Savage is blindsided by the three girls and Wentworth's idol, Abi sends them off with "At least you made the jury!" earning herself an immediate middle finger.
  • Bored by a strategy talk at a reward, Keith leaves to mess with one of the motorbike-taxis (known as tuk-tuks, though Keith refers to them as "to-tos") that led them into the reward. He revs it up and without any permission starts driving the taxi down the beach, hooting and hollering. Soon everyone ends up riding along with Keith in the stolen taxi.
    Keith: This is a heck of an adventure. I oughta get my driver’s license— Cambodia driver’s license. That would be something slick. You call, we’ll haul. Just call me up and I’ll come get ya.
  • During the folklore challenge, Abi is at one of the stations, and Stephen is coming up right behind her. He pulls off the cover for the wrong answer and then takes the correct one for himself.
  • One tribal council had Probst say "Which 'We' is going to win?" Given what it can also stand for, this made it a little unintentionally funny.
  • Jeremy sets free Bayon's last chicken.
  • At final tribal council, almost everyone is asking the remaining three contestants a series of deep and self-reflecting questions. Then Kelly Wiglesworth steps up and... asks them to pick a number between 1 and 10. What a Call-Back.
    • Not only that, but Kelly has subsequently stated that the number she picked was whatever number Jeremy picked.She went full on Greg Buis.
  • The entirety of Keith's Ponderosa episode.
     Kaoh Rong 
  • When Alecia goes to vote, she forgets to take off the marker cap.
  • Debbie claims that she has various occupations, and each time she has a confessional, one of her other occupations appears on the chyron.
    • Even her recently mentioned professional modeling career made it's way into the occupation subtitle. The editors are certainly having fun!
  • Debbie's cheerleading during the episode 2 immunity challenge.
  • Jenny's implosion at the second tribal council where she tries to throw Alecia under the bus and ends up sinking her own game.
  • Peter and Liz's blinding arrogance in episode 3 leads to them forsaking easy targets Joe and Debbie and trying to convince them to vote out Neal, organizing a split vote. Instead, Debbie of all people, after two episodes of looking like a loon, perfectly turns the split vote around on Peter and Liz, leading to Liz's ouster and Peter spending the rest of his days a Chan Loh hostage.
    • Peter's eventual ouster at the hands of Aubry is great. After transparently trying to flip, FBI Agent Joe dramatically interrogates him out of nowhere, making Peter panic and flee back to Aubry, whom, after some debate, changes her vote from Julia to Peter last-minute. When Probst reads the vote, you can see Julia's crossed-out name over Peter's. Bonus points to Probst for silently revealing the vote for a good two seconds to let Peter read it.
  • Tai's pet chicken Mark gets so popular CBS retroactively adds him to the Final 7 intro
  • Jason and Scot reunite at Ponderosa.
    Neal: Your ass looks a lot cuter than I ever imagined.
  • Cydney. She's not an outright Comic Relief character like Debbie, but a lot of the things she says and the expressions she makes are definitely worth a laugh.
     Millennials vs Gen X 
  • On the Gen X tribe, Paul and Ce Ce talk about how Millennials don't work and have everything handed to them. Cue eye rolls and disgusted looks from Michaela of the Millennials, who worked multiple jobs at once to pay off her student loans by the time she was 25.
    • Then comes the immunity challenge, and the "hardworking" Gen X tribe chooses to take both easy option routes to get to the end faster while the Millennials only picked one. Guess which tribe ends up losing?
  • The Millennials got bored while they were building their shelter, so they started to have a party instead. By the time they realized a storm was coming, their shelter was completely useless, and even collapsed from their weight. Karmic payback at it's finest.
  • At the first Gen X tribal council, Jeff asks everyone to raise their hand if they feel in trouble. Lucy, who has been invisible throughout the episode, is the only one to not raise her hand.
  • In Episode 2, Hannah takes so long in the voting booth that Jeff looks down the walkway to check on her.
  • After getting voted out, Mari released this beautiful video.
    • "I'M WORKING ON IT!"
      • "GOOD LUCK, BUDDY!"
  • The awkward ten second stare-down between Ken and Jessica during tribal council.
  • Probst gets knocked over by a wave.
  • Michaela's thoughts on being put on the new tribe and having to start over- throwing the new green buff like so much trash, looking unabashedly sullen all throughout the rest of her new tribe welcoming each other, and telling Jeff Probst that he did the swap wrong.
    Michaela: I wanted to flip him off right there. I didn't though.
  • David's Epic Fail in the episode five immunity challenge. First, he swam slowly, then he had trouble getting onto the deck, then the buoy slipped out of his hands and went back into the water on the other side, then he almost lost it again. Then he missed the basket the ball was supposed to be stored in.
    Zeke: Is he throwing this?
  • Jay finds the idol with Will, while expressing this is for his family and describing it in epic terms. Just as he's telling Will that this is entirely between the two of them, Michaela walks up.
  • Figgy and Taylor decide to tell Ken and Jessica about their relationship, but decide to practice it first. Taylor's impersonation of Jessica is of a weird British accent.
    • When the impression happens, Figgy and Taylor are expecting them to be surprised. Instead, Jessica gives them an amused "ya think?" and laughs, and Ken sarcastically pretends not to know before pointing out the obvious in the same breath. Figgy is actually convinced he's not lying at first.
  • Michaela helps the New Vanua tribe since they're 2-2 and there is a real chance a Millennial could go home. Taylor points out that New Takali has Millennials; however, they have a 3-2 majority, which leads to:
    Michaela: There's three of you; if you can't work it out you deserve to go home!
  • Bret makes up an identity as a funeral director to hide as a cop. However, when he's questioned about being a funeral director he so clearly has an embarrassing low knowledge of the subject that people easily out him as lying.
  • Will and Sunday getting jumpscared at Michaela's Big "WHAT?!".
  • Taylor is caught stealing food and it's brought up at the merge TC. He claims he did it because he was hungry. Probst doesn't leave the lampshade hanging.
    Probst: Chris, are you hungry?
    Chris: Yep.
    Probst: Sunday?
    Sunday: Oh yeah.
    Probst: Hannah?
    Hannah: I could eat you.
    • Taylor claims that his stomach ached before he ate the food and he could have had a medical emergency.
    Zeke: We all had medical emergencies that night!
  • Bret makes it clear that he needs to drink less. At the F12 reward, he gets very drunk and tells the host to send him drinks until he passes out.
    • The immunity challenge comes with an eat-or-compete element that Zeke and Will take. Bret falls out quickly, sees Zeke drinking beer, and says "I should have sat out."
  • Hannah gets the position of team captain. The team she picks flops so badly that she never gets a chance to play.
    Hannah (to Jessica): So I shouldn't be a sports captain.
  • Will tells Zeke that Jay has an idol and asks Zeke not to tell anyone. What follows is a hilarious game of telephone leading to Zeke telling David, and then Chris. Chris telling Bret, and so on until everyone knows about Jay's idol.
  • After an entire episode of Will repeatedly wanting to make a big move and openly complaining about it, come tribal council he makes his big move and flips on Zeke... but Adam uses an idol on Hannah, negating all her votes, and gets credit for Zeke's elimination. Will cannot catch a break.
  • David makes a fake idol in the finale for someone to catch. That someone is Jay, who is comically convinced that it's real. Even though it looks legitimate, Jay is so 1000% overconfident at TC that it's the idol while David keeps a straight face as he fails to play it. After Jay finds out it's fake, his reaction is hilarious, and to his credit he's a great sport about it.

    Game Changers 
  • Pre-season, many castaways stated that Tony was walking around Ponderosa....with a stick in his hand.
  • Sandra explains to Jeff at Tribal Council that the difference between her and Tony is that his style of playing is crazy, while hers is calm... and then immediately freaks out herself and almost everyone else in the tribe when she finds a huge bug in her hair. Michaela's reaction was probably the greatest - she's on the other end of the seats but still jumps out and screams.
  • Brad's comment about Tai and the goats is either a playful jab at his Friend to All Living Things personality, or a stealthy one at his FTC performance.
    Brad: "If we want to kill a goat, we're gonna have to kill Tai!"
  • Tony may not have been around for long, but he gave us a lot in two hours:
    • Arriving at Mana camp and getting to know everybody...then racing off into the woods and shrieking in llama like a madman in full view of the rest of the tribe. Everybody thought he'd be looking for idols, but nobody followed him.
    • Related to the above, his utter disbelief when he realized that nobody followed him and deciding to look for idols anyway since they didn't bite.
    • Expecting everybody to be looking for his Spy Shacks, coming up with the logical progression, the Spy Bunker...which was just a trench covered with leaves next to the well.
  • In the E4 blindfold challenge, generally the caller tells people "go" if they need them to go straight ahead. Instead...
  • At E4's two-tribe Tribal Council, due to the way it's structured, everyone starts talking to people with an increased lack of subtlety, to the point where both tribes are openly huddling with each other with swing votes J.T. and Hali walking between them. During this, Hali looks at Probst and awkwardly grins.
    • Jeff announces it as time to vote and calls on Hali. She just sits there and eventually utters out "uhm... I don't consent."
    • Varner says in a voting confessional that if his target (Sierra) pulls out an idol "I will soil myself".
    • Aubry talks about the tense situation of an opposite tribe also being at Tribal Council, saying it's like walking into the wrong wedding. When everyone starts cross-whispering, she compares them to carrier pigeons.
    • When Tai goes to play the idol on Sierra, he calls her "pretty lady!"
    • The Manas tell Hali at TC (where she is sitting at the far left) that "she knows where she stands" over there. Michaela of Nuku adds "Yeah, right on the end where they put you".
    • Even though his elimination is sad and his final words are emotional, Malcolm manages to say that J.T., who inadvertently screwed him over, is "not getting a Christmas card".
  • At the fifth Tribal Council, the vote is between J.T. and Michaela after they argued in Tribal Council. As the votes are read, Michaela stops to pour herself water in one of the mugs the Nuku tribe won with their coffee and drinks it as the votes are read.
    • After J.T. walks away, Sandra reaches to give Michaela a supportive pat on the arm because they achieved their objective. Michaela proceeds to look at Sandra with a huge smile and cackles out loud, causing Sandra to burst out giggling too.
  • The hysterical way Sandra trolls Michaela by making it seem like she ate all the sugar by eating it all herself.
    • Her reaction when she finally is voted out for the first time ever, begging Jeff not to put out her torch. Followed by the reactions of "no way" when her tribe arrives at the next challenge Sandra-less.
  • The very fact that faking idols has become such a common strategy that Debbie is offered a "Make Your Own Fake Idol" kit on the Exile (she doesn't choose to take it, instead wanting the extra vote). Heck, just knowing that Exile Island this season is actually a reward and the "island" is really a boat.
  • Bitter Zeke and Debbie griping from the sidelines on the Jury after Andrea (who got them voted out in the first place) gets to control the vote for the third straight week in a row and nobody sees a problem with that.
    Debbie: Idiots.
  • The jury reaction at the Tribal Council with the final six to what is best described as an all-out pileup of immunity that is best described as "if you have 'em, smoke 'em", which results in Circe losing by default, just because she has no items to cover her from elimination. It's so mind-blowing it causes them to break their consigned silence. Zeke in particular looks like he's having kittens.

    Heroes Vs. Healers Vs. Hustlers 
  • The promo for the season has Jeff being ensnared by vines, telling the audience with a smile, "Get sucked back in."
Episode 1: "I'm Not Crazy, I'm Confident"
  • The first ten minutes have one. When all of the team need to get to the beach in rowboats, the Hustlers get completely turned around and only reach land after the others have already finished.
  • Ryan's confessional after getting the Super Immunity Idol and stashing it in his trousers:
    Ryan: For the first time, someone is dying to get inside my pants.
  • Alan subjecting J.P. to an Idol strip search. He drops his drawers and everything (thankfully, a mosaic blur spares us the details).
Episode 2: "I'm a Wild Banshee"
  • Simone taking pride in her first ever "aqua dump". And now we know why the rest of her tribe sees her as The Load.
  • Patrick shrieking like a banshee and freaking out as he tries to confront his fear of crabs.
  • Ryan's impression of Tribal Council is like going to the birthday party of a kid you don't like. Which results in a hilariously sour retort from Lauren.
    Lauren: I think it's like going to a funeral.
Episode 3: "My Kisses Are Very Private"
  • The first morning after Tribal, the Hustlers find out that Simone left her blazer jacket, matching pants, and boots behind, which leads to them having a mini fashion show. As they're dressing up Patrick:
    Ryan: Yeah, it's like your Miami Vice look. Look at that- perfect fit. Aw, you're like my kid gettin' ready for prom.
    • Not to be outdone, Ryan's accompanying confessional.
  • This fantastic exchange in Tribal Council:
    Jeff: Ryan, it's kind of like you're in a relationship...
    Ryan: I've never been in a relationship.
    Jeff: Okay.
    Ryan: You know somebody?
    (castmates crack up)
  • Another gem from Lauren. While there's discussion of the hidden immunity idol during Tribal, Lauren deadpans that she has two of them, which nobody but Ali seems to notice.
Episode 4: "I Don't Like Having Snakes Around"
  • The editors get one for slyly implying Joe's villainous status coming from a tribe that had been color-coded yellow by prefacing the scenes where he is acting all crookedly with footage of a yellow-backed spider.
  • Jeff deciding to weave as many Foo Fighters references as he can into the immunity challenge.
  • Another comparison of Tribal Council to real life by Jeff Probst, the third tribal council = real world situation simile brought up in the season so far, all of which have turned out to invoke some humor. He equates the situation between Joe and Desi being on the chopping block as like a movie where the bad guys try to get to the lead character by trying to take out his wife.
    Joe: It's BETTER than a movie.
  • Devon finding out that his "advantage" actually blocked him from casting a vote in a pivotal Tribal? Not really funny. Devon's reaction to finding out what it does? Hilarious.
    Devon: That is not an advantage...
  • The sheer amount of irony in the fact that after Alan spent his time in the game being on the lookout for an idol to surface within his own tribe and stop himself from being blindsided, as soon as he was shuffled into a new tribe, he got placed beside and totally blindsided by a guy from a different camp who found the idol over there. He made a fool out of himself for all the wrong reasons.
    • Joe's "Hollaback" taunt to Alan after knocking him out of the game.
Episode 5: "The Past Will Eat You Alive"
  • We get yet another quip from Ryan. The reward the tribes are playing for is an assortment of pastries, iced coffee, iced tea, and coffee for the winner and a big jug of iced coffee from the runner-up.
    Ryan: It's gonna run right through us but I don't care.
    • Ironically, Ryan ends up costing his entire tribe any of these rewards because he can't use his head to roll a ball up a sandy hill with his limbs tied up and sits out the following immunity challenge as penance.
  • Lauren getting really annoyed at Cole along with the rest of Yawa because he eats like a pig. The next few scenes are Cringe Comedy at its finest- gratuitous shots of Cole scarfing down jam and smacking his lips at a disgustingly high volume with wet slurping sounds.
  • The yellow-backed spider has moved on to signify Chrissy as the next of the yellow team to go rogue. It even creeps its way into the Tribal Council in the establishing background shot!
Episode 6: "This Is Why You Play Survivor"
  • Poor Dr. Mike goes to all the trouble of catching fish and snags a teeny tiny one... which he accidentally drops into the fire. Mike still rescues his meal despite it being charred and elects to even share it with the tribe.
    Ben: He's gone, Doc.
    Mike: My fish is not "gone", he just cooked a little faster.
  • Chrissy's spider has upgraded into a tarantula.
  • Right before the shocking incident where Cole passes out, a worm slips through the Yawa tribe's shelter. Lauren makes her standard bone dry remark.
    Mike: This is gross. A worm just fell out of our roof.
    Lauren: That's why I cover my ears.
    • It could also double as a Call-Back to poor Jenny getting a bug stuck in her ear in Kaôh Rōng.
Episode 7: "Get to Gettin'"
  • As soon as the castaways learn their merge feast is being catered by Outback Steakhouse and Jeff mentions steak:
    Ben: (leaping up and down) RIBEYE!! RIBEYE!!
    Jeff: (tickled at Ben's display) You like ribeye??
  • At the merge feast, Joe decides to order two steaks and three deserts, sheepishly asking the waitress if he's allowed to (which he is). Cole, of all people, seems surprised you can actually do that.
  • In the first individual immunity challenge (rolling a ball in a circular hoop while balancing on a beam), poor Ryan fails two seconds in. Jeff takes great pleasure in reminding everyone how bad he did by comparing his time to those who have stayed in the challenge for over half an hour and how many times longer they've been holding out, and Chrissy gives him the exact measurements, finally reaching 900 times longer!!
Episode 8: "Playing with the Devil / Knights of the Round Table"
  • Ryan's snag of a Hidden Immunity Idol after he, Chrissy, and Cole, all find a clue to it, hinges on the act of Cole taking a piss! Ryan delightfully lampshades this as him literally catching Cole while his pants are down.
  • During the Individual Immunity Challenge where everyone tries to hold a statue on a precarious perch with a wooden pole while navigating a balance beam, Chrissy complains that bugs are crawling on her. Jeff notes this also happened during the last time they played it (Game Changers) where ants were crawling on people, and may be a theme of it.
  • At Tribal Council, Devon struggling to explain he feels like a zombie after the stress of playing the game... only to get his words in a jumble and show everyone that is an Understatement. Maybe that tribe sign hit him on the head...
  • Jeff gets a little too enthusiastic at Tribal Council at the way Joe and Ben are ping-ponging off of each other's rivalry and everyone else seems to be caught up in the mix.
  • Lauren found a Secret Advantage where she can claim an extra vote if she doesn't participate in the next Tribal Council after finding it and steals a piece of parchment and puts the advantage in the urn holding the votes. To hide her actions (the voting booth is about 50 feet away from the tribe), she resorts to tucking her extra vote into her cleavage, but is besieged with having to participate in a re-vote, where she feigns voting again and is faced with the dilemma of an excess blank piece of voting parchment that she cannot sneak off with. So, she mimes putting a vote in the urn, then casually swats the new slip of parchment off the table and out into the night.
    • Oh, and now the tarantula is being associated with her and it has also managed to sneak its way into Tribal Council.