One of the final challenges involved the contestants running around with camcorders, filming themselves answering trivia questions. Rudy doesn't pay attention during Jeff's "Borneo Legends" spiel, and, in any case, knows he's not going anywhere. Cue Rudy repeatedly looking into his camera and answering "I dunno."
Hell, almost ANYTHING Rudy said was good for a chuckle.
Greg Buis, every time he appeared on screen (especially during his fake over the top Tear Jerker immediately following his ejection). His "pick a number" practical joke that he played during the Final Tribal Council of Borneo to this day still has people thinking that Richard won due only to luck (see Stealth Parody). Jeff Probst hated him because of his refusal to pay any reverence to the show or it's rules, and was rumored to have stalked the Survivor crew in the jungle just to push to get on their nerves. I still want a coconut phone because of this guy.
His uncut exit speech was amazing, insane, and insanely amazing: "I'm glad you could all join me here. It has been quite an evening. A twist of fate that maybe some didn't expect and some... well... some did. It seems I've been voted off! There are a few things I would have like to have done had I remained on the island. Climb a tree, some vines perhaps, and go for a bit of a run. It's hard to say otherwise. It's an excellent game, well manufactured and well thought-out. A microcosm of humanity and humanitarianism possibly, possibly not, possibly just a game. Confess my deepest, darkest secrets, is that what we're here for? I'm not sure. In fact, I'm not exactly sure what I'm here for anymore. I know that we're here; it's just you, me, and those around us. I'm not sure when they'll start closing in. I hear noises in the jungle now. Things might be happening. Things might be taken over sooner than we think. Whether the rebel forces will be able to counteract with something like Operation Tapioca, I will not say. But if it does happen, I know nothing about it. I was never part of any such operation or involved with any people that were. I'm just saying it might happen soon. This is the deep dark heart of the Bornean jungle. Never underestimate what could happen."
Also, apparently all of Pagong voted for Jeff Probst during their first trip to Tribal Council due to not taking the show seriously.
Greg's loved one video, featuring his equally crazy sister cracking incest jokes. Rudy looks like he's going to kill someone while watching it.
Richard, an overweight, hairy, gay man walking around naked on his birthday ("in his birthday suit" as Sean put it) while laughing at everyone being uncomfortable with it. What's not to laugh at?
Richard's obnoxious, hammy rendition of 99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall during the Episode 11 Immunity Challenge. Everyone is extremely uncomfortable with it, especially Rudy(due to a bit of Manipulative Editing, it's made to look like he dives off the platform just to get away from him), and when Richard finally reaches his crescendo, he falls backward into the ocean which cheers everyone up.
Richard: Sorry to leave you (all) without my music.
Brandon and Frank'sOut of Africa movie date reward, mostly because of everyone's reaction to it back at camp. Tom said if he were playing a dirty trick on them, he couldn't have thought of something better.
Ethan and Lex's journey into the village when they're trying to sell goats. Not before they set foot to their village, they were a laughing stock when they attempt to carry the goats down. Some time later, they manage to sell off the goats and Lex comment this nice line:
Lex: I thought they're (goats) going to end up as happy goats, cruising around the country side eating grass, mating or whatever. We saw him with the two same goats making a beeline not twenty feet away straight into the butcher.
Rob's analysis of Rotu when he gets switched over. When you're reading his barbs, keep in mind that the most vicious insults that have been lobbed thus far in the series were "Rich needs liposuction" or "Mike's an idiot."
Rob: Gabe is definitely a brainiac. Probably thinks he's a lot smarter than he really is. When I first saw John, I thought he was a big time queer. He seems rough and tough over here, but he does all the cookin', so I won't be sleepin' next to him. Not the first night, anyway. The General is big and tough, and wants everybody to know that. He's probably got a little sausage. Tammy's engaged. There's not too much hope there. And Zoe's pretty nice, but come on. Without a doubt, Zoe is the toughest guy on this tribe.
John Carroll needs someone to pee on his hand after he gets stung by an urchin. If that wasn't a golden enough setup, it's 49-Year-Old Kathy Vavrick-O'Brien that moves Heaven and Earth to get there as fast as she can for him. Then she gets there, fulfills her duty... and then keeps going, both of them awkwardly standing there for nearly a full minute after she starts.
Kathy: Finally when I think I was pulling up my pants, I suddenly got very embarrassed. But it made him feel good. At least I was able to perform in the call of duty.
Like Marquesas and Fiji, Thailand is also underrated in terms of comedy value. Brian, Clay and Helen had their own share of hilarious soundbites, Robb and Jan were both nutcases, and Jake told awful, ludicrous stories years before Coach hit the Survivor scene.
Seriously, the Attack Zone challenge just can't be put into words. It has to be seen to be believed.
Robb: We lost guys, but it wasn't to someone better than us. We lost to a bunch of rules!
Shortly after the tribes move onto the same beach, Jake complains about Helen's constant dispensing of recipes, while we see her doing just that. Followed by a flawless edit to her standing in the same spot at night talking about more recipes, giving the impression that she'd been at it for all those hours in between.
Brian winning a reward challenge where he got to see a home video of his family. The catch: his wife, CC Heidik, (unbeknownst to the show) was a porn star, and she made a point out of going around their mansion and showing off all of his riches, totally destroying the image he tried to set up around camp as the down-on-his-luck humble car salesman. The Stinger is when she announces that if he wins, that they're going to Fiji. The Oh, Crap look on Brian's face is priceless.
That's not even mentioning Clay visibly lusting after Brian's wife.
In Episode 12, Big Ted The Teetotaler decides to temporarily stop abstaining from alcohol after he wins an awesome reward trip, so he takes a celebratory drink with Helen. Later that night, he becomes the definition of Can't Hold His Liquor.
This season also had the only time Probst has ever been unable to read a vote. In episode four, Clay cast a vote for Ghandia that read "Bye Bye Denver Diva".
When the rest of Sook Jai is distracted via goofing around near the shoreline on Day 13, Robb(who is slightly farther back in the ocean) is screaming and then collapses, submerging into the water. He got bit on the foot by a stingray, but due to Robb's loud nature, no one noticed until they noticed on land that he was bleeding.
Jake's Noodle Incident stories during Episode 9. We don't get to hear exactly what they are about, but we are led to believe that they are completely absurd.
How soon we forget Magilla The Monkey stealing everyone's food while they're away from camp.
Clay's ass fetish was pretty funny, even going so far to pat the elephant's ass that he was riding while he was on reward with Brian.
The sixth season, Amazon, was narrated by Rob Cesternino. Despite obviously rehearsed dialogue, many of his confessionals are hilarious.
"I don't like Joanna. She's always yelling about Jesus, and how Jesus loves Jaburu. I didn't know that Jesus had a vested interest in Survivor. Cause, as far as I've seen every picture of Jesus, he's a guy. And I think that he would want the guys to win."
"I don't see the women working well together. I know that their shelter is not gonna be as good as ours. I see them all crying, panicking, trying to build a cell phone, so they can call their boyfriends to come over and help them build a shelter. Outside of that I'm sure they've got maybe three sticks together."
"I said that the only way Roger is gonna win immunity is if it's a contest of 'Name that Perry Como song.' Or perhaps 'What type of prune is this?' Or some sort of other thing that only an old man like Roger would be able to determine."
"Since day one, Heidi has always been my favorite. But she looks like she could really use the conditioner and, uh, maybe some of that soap. She looks a little rugged and beat-down. But, look, I'll take what I can get. She's probably a 9 1/2 in real life. And right about now she's closing in on a 6. So that kind of levels the playing field for a guy like me, which is an exciting prospect."
"He [Matt] sits and sharpens the machete for an hour at a time. Why does he need the machete so sharp? I think he's gonna kill us. I'm afraid that when he is voted off, he's gonna take the machete and kill us after the vote."
"I really am very happy for Matthew. I'm very happy that he got to win the car. And I asked him that if he ever goes to Asia, or if he ever returns to the planet that he came from, that he said I could borrow it and go cruising for chicks."
During the latter half of the same season, Butch brought about a Crowning Moment of Funny for himself, but unfortunately at everyone else's expense. During episode thirteen(Days 34-36), he became obsessed with collecting firewood, proclaiming to himself and the cameras "I'm just a wood crazy nut, I guess." He even got Rob to be his wood collecting assistant, or as Rob put it, his "Junior Deputy Firewood Bitch". Then for no reason whatsoever, Butch starts to dance the Egyptian. Later on, during the reward challenge, all of the excess firewood under the shelter somehow connected with the tribal campfire, thus burning down said shelter and everyone's personal items (except for Heidi's). When everyone came back, Butch was the obvious culprit, but no one would tell him to his face. A link can be found here.
Rob Cesternino tricked Matthew and Butch into thinking that they had more power than they really had (at the time anyway), and telling them that they were near the top of an all male "chain" of command. The spy music and general cluelessness of Matthew and Butch during this scene is hilarious if a little mean.
Unfortunately for Rob, Matthew turned into a bona fide wheeler-dealer. The fall of Rob Cesternino is ironic because Rob picked him out for being an idiot, then begin to coach him on how to play, including telling him to throw challenges to look like less of a threat. Guess what Matt did in the FIC to seal Rob's fate?
Heidi, at Tribal Council, following a spider bite: "My strongest assets to this group are athletic ability and intelligence. And... hello... one of them is gone right now."
Jeff: "Which one?"
Any time the editing team decides to portray someone as slowly going insane from the experience, it's always hilarious. Amazon had both Butch and Matthew... the former with his insane wood-dance, the latter with his "staying alone in the jungle just sharpening the machete" tic. Good times.
For absolutely no reason, the producers decide to have Jeff travel from the final Tribal Council to New York on a jet ski. This entire scene lasts about three minutes.
Ryan: It was pretty cheap.
Rupert stops to take a breather while the tribes are busy buying and bartering. The Morgans drag their raft up to where he's sitting, probably not aware he's there, and... leave the raft unguarded! Rupert sees the supplies in the Morgan raft and... snaps them up for the Drakes. Later, Rupert moves away from Morgan's raft and meets up with Jon and gives him the shoes he stole, which Jon curiously wonders where he gets it.
Jon: Whose are these?
Jon: Oh! :D
Really, the entire village scene was a hoot.
Osten Taylor. He's a buff and otherwise intelligent guy who is afraid of a pelican(nicknamed Pelican Pete by Ryan Opray), constantly threatens to quit in over the top fashion, and sold all his clothes for supplies in a village during the first day, and subsequently became sick because of it.
During the first challenge of Pearl Islands, the Morgan tribe inexplicably decide that taking off their clothes will help them out. As they're behind the other tribe at the time, we immediately get a shot of everyone's blurred-out rear ends labeled "Morgan behind." And the previous captions had stated "Morgan trailing" so there's no way it wasn't deliberate.
There was also a rather funny moment where everyone threw the challenge to let Fairplay win, thinking he really did lose his grandma. After the challenge ends you can see everyone sitting in clapping and looking sympathetic... meanwhile there's Sandra in the corner with a look on her face saying "I'm surrounded by idiots - he's so full of shit".
Everything relating to the infamous Grandma lie qualifies, honestly. Lillian's chiding Sandra for trying to take Fairplay out of the challenge ("His grandmother just died, Sandra."), the fact that he swore on his grandmother's grave the rest of the season, the infamous revealing itself ("My grandmother's at home watching Jerry Springer right now")... YMMV on whether it was hilarious or just low, but the fact that he made up this entire charade just because he got a kick out of it at least warrants some respect.
Of course, what tops it all is the story Jeff told at the reunion - immediately after the challenge, production called Fairplay's family at home to see whether they could do anything to help them after the loss of Granny Dalton... and Grandma herself, who had no idea that young Jon was even pulling this scheme, answered the phone. Could there be a more awkward phone conversation?
When Shawn and Jonny Fairplay are both voting for each other to leave, Shawn gives a long drawn out speech about why he's voting for Jon, while Jon merely exclaims while voting for Shawn "Fuck you".
Three of Rob Mariano's alliance-mates agree that they would be better off without him and start a meeting of their own mini-alliance... in which they all just stand around waiting for someone to come up with an idea, since Rob had been doing the thinking for them all until then.
Richard Hatch's return, if only because it distinguished how Survivor fans saw him (the Affably Evil genius that made Survivor as we know it) and how Survivor veterans saw him (a fat naked homosexual). Lex in particular took all sorts of shots at Richard.
During the family visit challenge, Rob has to... eat farafu.
The Entire Touchy Subjects Reward challenge. One of the question goes "Who uses sex appeal as a weapon?" as when everyone reveal :
Jeff: Everyone says Amber, including Amber. (Everyone cracks up) So you fully own up to using sex appeal.
Amber: I'm fully own up to it.
The DVD Commentary for the finale. Highlights include Rob and Jenna getting into a heated debate over whether or not Jenna would have beaten Rob in the Final Two (to the point that Amber cuts in and tells them to change the subject), and all four of the commentators snarking at the various jury speeches:
Lex:[kicking off his speech] "It's just a game..."
Commentary!Rob: "He could've just said that, stopped there, and saved us all a lot of time."
Kathy: "I get it, I get it..."
Commentary!Rob: "I don't think she gets it."
During Vanuatu, Twila got into an argument with Eliza after she saw Eliza talking with Chris and (correctly) believed that she was plotting against her. In the middle of the argument, Twila asked Chris what his role in the discussion was, and he responded with an over the top "Whaaaaaat? I'm just layin' here, y'know, in the hammock!"
Later on in the final two, Chris and Twila are hanging out in the same hammock... and it snaps.
Sarge's rage on the morning after Rory's elimination.
Remember the jet ski in Amazon? This time, Probst gets to skydive and ride a motorcycle.
The challenge where everyone decided to chow down instead of doing the challenge. Except for Aras, Sally, and Terry.
The challenge doesn't even last that long.
Shane deciding to quit smoking five minutes before the show starts, then going slowly insane for an entire season. Highlights include him randomly yelling at his tribe to not sit on a stump because it's his "thinking seat", telling Courtney that if she betrays him, he'll drive to her "shitty apartment" and kill her (and of course, she's only upset about the assertion her apartment is shitty), and him claiming a block of wood is his Black Berry and trying to send texts on it.
During the loved ones visit, Shane gets a visit from his son Boston. Cue him dropping to his knees and bawling his eyes out. While it is genuinely heartwarming to see how much Shane loves his son, the sheernature of Shane also makes it inadvertently hilarious.
The Casaya tribe. Yup, the entire tribe. Every time they appeared on screen, you knew something hilariously awkward was going to happen (this was turned Up to Eleven during the merge when straight-laced Terry Deitz from the La Mina tribe became their primary source of antagonism).
Bob Dawg and Bruce drinking the entire tribe's last bottle of wine won from the reward challenge, and then sleeping in the outhouse.
Pretty much anything that happened in the "Casa Del Charmin" was hilarious.
The reward challenge at final four, where the previously dominant Terry suddenly finds Aras giving him a real run for his money. Terry complains to Probst that he thinks Aras is cheating, but Jeff confirms that Aras is operating within the rules of the challenge. Overhearing all of this, a delighted Aras half-yells, half-sings "Somebody call a waahmbulance! Terry's crying on the co-ourse!" Completely childish, but very funny, and Terry totally had it coming.
The Final Four Tiebreaker in Cook Islands. It lasted ninety minutes, by far the longest tiebreaker challenge in the show's history.
Cao Boi, Flica, and Ozzy decided to explore an island neighboring their tribe campsite. Unbeknownst to them, this was Rarotonga's island.
The Slip-and-Slide challenge and Sylvia trying to swim down the Slip-and-Slide.
Boo was practically a walking accident in Fiji. On the same day, he managed to get something in his eye which was then washed out by his tribemates. Then, he was chopping wood...and cut his hand and knee when the axe slipped. His tribemates then wrap his hand and feet out, and before he could hurt himself any further, he just laid in the hammock. And then the hammock fell while he was in it. (Video in case you wanted to see...)
Michelle in the calling challenge. When Michelle appeared on a talk show after the episode where she was eliminated aired, the host informed her that a video posted of her falling had amassed over 50,000 views. Note that this was early 2007, when YouTube was still in its infancy.
Then, during the Rites of Passage/Torchwalk, this happened again with serious music playing, including several other funny moments like Lisi faceplanting in the middle of a challenge.
Fiji used the "What do you think of your fellow players?" Challenge. When Jeff Probst asked who the smelliest castaway was, most of the players wrote down Dreamz... and Dreamz even wrote his own name down.
Boo decided to create a back path to the water source, so he could spy on anyone talking there and hear if anyone was planning to vote him off. While he was making this path, everyone else was at camp, talking about voting him off.
"First person voted out of Survivor China: Chicken." "DAYUM!"
Jaime playing a hunk of wood, after talking about how she "Isn't as dumb as she looks". No one could look that dumb Jaime.
James Clement, full stop. Especially with that "hunk of wood":
"But there's no way this dummy grabbed the wrong one!"
The merged tribe has just decided to name themselves after their black buffs, leading to racist jokes, of all things.
Jean-Robert: We can't do black because then, as soon as James is gone, we'll have to change the name.
(Jean-Robert and James erupt into laughter)
James: So I'm gonna stay here. I'll be alright.
Frosti: Whatever, I was on the yellow team.
Courtney Yates, one of the funniest and snarkiest people to ever play the game. Often said quite rude things, but in a funnier way than anyone else could have done it.
Micronesia - Fans Vs. Favorites
Eliza's reactions while watching Ozzy get blindsided in Fans vs Favorites. Also, pretty much everyone's reactions when Erik gave away his immunity to Natalie.
Special mention on that last one to James, who had been voted out while sitting on two hidden immunity idols (literally) in his previous season. Upon Erik being voted out, he gleefully declares that he is officially no longer the stupidest person in the show's history.
James: I've lost my reign as dumbest survivor ever!!!
The entire "It's A Fucking Stick" scene. It's too funny for words.
The clusterfuck during Final Tribal Council when Natalie asks Parvati how her being a giant flirt translates to her performance in the bedroom. The Jury were both stunned and trying not to laugh, and Jeff just looked confused as hell.
The tribal council in Gabon, wherein Randy played a fake hidden immunity idol and got voted out. But before that, Crystal had walked up to the Confession Cam, said, "You have made my life, hell, from day, ONE. Forget you! Go home! Goodbye!" while voting for Randy... and had spoken loud enough everyone at tribal council heard her, including Randy! (see it all here)
Randy and Matty having a very extended fight in the F9 Reward Challenge about the best way to slingshot their golf ball into the target... less than a foot from the goal.
Crystal Cox in general.
Coach. Full stop. One the one hand he has the over-exposure of a Creator's Pet, but on the other hand the editors always seemed to go out of their way to make him seem like an idiot. The episode where he's sent to Exile Island just might be the funniest episode in Survivor history.
Even Sandy, despite being an early out, definitely delivered. We got such gems such as "ah'm pissed", "I wonder what a pace is?" and "these are fartin' beans". She drove her whole tribe crazy, but was amazing.
"Who is this jackass?"
Tyson Apostol, and most things he did. Basically the male counterpart of Courtney Yates.
Dave (in confessional): "I won chicken. What did you do? Not that. Peace!"
On the Funny 115, Brett was made into a quite humorous figure - and it became a Running Gag to photoshop him into past season screencaps.
Heroes vs. Villains
Sandra burning Russell's hat at the end of Heroes and Villains and then helping him look for it afterwards to dispel suspicion. "So, where did you last see it?" Also doubles as a Crowning Moment of Awesome and a Karmic Ass-Kicking, considering that Russell gloated about destroying his tribe-members' belongings back in Samoa. Even Russell was self-aware enough to realize that he would have been a total hypocrite to whine about it, and actually gave her credit for it.
Danielle and Amanda get in a catfight over an immunity idol clue. What makes the scene funny is that Colby just watches it eating popcorn.
At the Villains camp, Rob and Sandra are discussing how to make shelter. The conversation goes like this: "Well, we could make a nice roof with those fronds on the top of that tree. However, it looks pretty windy and dangerous up there. You'd have to be psychotically over-confident to try to cli-... Hey, wait... Let's ask Coach to do it."
After Coach inevitably fails:
Rob: From the hero to the zero? More like from the villain to the never was!
During the Episode 2 Immunity/Reward Challenge, Randy suggests for his tribe to do the following with the heavy crates they were pushing:
Randy: Roll it over Rupert's toe.
At the reunion: runner-up Parvati is seated between Russell and Sandra. Just look at Parvati's body language whenever they argue. For example:
With a straight face, Russell says, "Let me tell you how good I am!" Without missing a beat, Parvati drops into a sulking stance.
Sandra was constantly fantastic, from her challenge performances to her quips against Russell.
Sandra:*wandering out of the maze* No it wasn't. It suuuucked.
At one point, Russell suggests to Rob that they should vote off some dead wood. Rob asks if he has anyone in mind, and Russell says 'Those two right here', and gestures to Courtney and Sandra… who were sitting right in front of them.
Fabio tended to be stupidly funny at times:
When Kelly B reveals her prosthetic leg, he says "Can you control it?" and proceeds to get a couple funny looks from people non-verbally asking "Did you seriously just say that?"
During a confessional, a crab walks by and pinches his toe and he calmly says "Ow".
Fabio doesn't get out of the water in one challenge and Probst asks what he's doing. Fabio just calmly says "I'm peeing."
Dan was great for a few one liners and moments as well.
Holly: Looks like rain.
Dan: Looks like the end of the world.
Dan: First time flying above the Nicaraguan jungle riding a zipline... it was okay. There aren't many ziplines in Brooklyn. If there are, you're a burglar.
Jill: Well the rain will have to stop sometime.
Dan: That's what Noah said.
When Yve and Dan are arguing over whether or not Yve is arrogant in Tribal Council.
Yve: Well at least I don't brag about my Ferrari and my three houses and my vacation home!
Dan: I do!
In the F13 reward, the tribes had to launch a small ball into a gigantic net with one lone defender in front of it while diving into the water. Dan runs forward... stops... throws it so softly that Fabio actually catches it... and then plops into the water. Cue an incredulous "really?" from Fabio.
One reward challenge split the teams up... with Dan not even competing and just sitting at a giant throne, and kicking his legs like a little child.
Fabio and Na Onka's feud throughout the show. Especially funny is how almost every argument between the two ends with Fabio speechless, grabbing the side of his head and staring up at the sky hopelessly.
Jeff instigates a moment between Na Onka and Fabio when La Flor gets to listen in on Espada's Tribal Council. When Na Onka complains about being starving, Jeff asks Fabio how the food is.
Na'Onka: Why you raisin' your voice at me? I CAN GET LOUD TOO!
The first Redemption Island tribal council, where: 1) Philip cannot pronounce (or spell) "Francesca" 2) Philip reveals absolutely everything that has gone down between him, Francesca and Kristina, and 3) Boston Rob asks Kristina to give up her immunity idol. Jeff's face at 4:12 says it all.
"Let that be a lesson to you: government jobs ... stressful!"
Russell said he plays the game with "Trust". This is coming from RUSSELL HANTZ - someone who sociopathically bullied his way through the game without regards for how others saw him, betrayed almost every single person he aligned himself with... did he even watch the seasons he competed in?
Ralph, upon finding the hidden immunity idol:
"Simple as wipin' yer hiney with toilet paper!"
Julie hiding Philip's shorts just to screw with him.
Stephanie: "Your other left, Ralph!"
The "participate or eat" challenge offered the choice between an endurance challenge or a feast of burgers, with only Phillip and Steve choosing the latter. The "Elapsed Time" counter typically featured in these types of challenges appears as usual... accompanied by a second counter labeled "Elapsed Burgers".
Boston Rob manages to snatch away a clue to the tribe's hidden immunity idol while on a trip to an active volcano without anyone looking. Since he already had the idol, he had no need for the clue, and since he didn't want anyone else finding the clue, he chucks it into the volcano during his confessional.
In South Pacific, the first Redemption Island Duel starts. Semhar begins by going on a rhyme... and Probst just stands there and looks at her like she's crazy.
In episode two, this exchange:
Brandon: (Referring to her game play) Parvati has screwed many a man.
In the first challenge, Colton jumps down and practically planks...causing the editing team to make a funny noise.
During a confessional, a bug flies into Kat and interrupts her thoughts.
Although the Cloud Cuckoolander has been done to death on Survivor in recent years, Greg "Tarzan" Smith is still comic gold. A 64 year old plastic surgeon with a strong case of Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness and little self-awareness, he brought a lot of life to a season that was often quite nasty.
Of special note is the Monica tribal council, where he quotes that he has "dropped my assertiveness to a different lodestar." Jeff is visibly stunned.
Jeff: So that means... Hold on, I kind of like this, it's like a game.
Contrast that sharply with Leif trying to describe him:
Leif: He definitely is a very complex... very... wisdom kind of guy. He also helps, uhm, better... explanate...
Jeff: See, explanate. Not even a word!
Tarzan: What he said is a neologism.
During a memory reward challenge, Troyzan and Kat must memorize six items that were placed on a shelf. Troyzan immediately shuts it without letting Kat get a good luck at it and just places random items up. This goes on seven times, during which there is a lot of Jump Cut-ing.
Kat's blindside. During her final Tribal Council, Kat said she loved watching blindside, especially the person's shocked face when the votes were revealed. Seeing her face when she was blindsided was pretty satisfying and funny.
During a challenge of Water Basketball, there's a solid minute where Leif repeatedly tries to tackle Michael, and Michael continuously whiffs the shots, neither one getting anywhere. Leif trying desperately to run after Michael while Michael misses every shot is a sight to see.
Angie saying at the Episode 2 Tribal Council that the thing that would make camp life better is... cookies. Cue an incredulous face from Probst saying, "Really?!"
Michael Skupin getting distracted by a nearby ant while having an otherwise poignant conversation with Lisa.
Skupin's injury montage in the first episode.
Skupin jumped into the water while wearing a mask during the episode 3 immunity challenge, and ended up with no mask and his face covered in blood.
Skupin getting a bit too close to the fire - again - in the penultimate episode.
Skupin getting headbutted by a shark.
Pete's comments about Skupin in episode 5: "Mike's stupid. He tells annoying stories, and when we're trying to make fire he has to throw his hands in and mess things up."
When Skupin's son comes in, he manages to hurt himself.
Abi-Maria tries to cut open a coconut with a machete against a palm tree. The coconut ends up flying off and almost knocking Skupin unconscious.
Jonathan Penner, not content with only two seasons worth of funny confessionals, turns his head towards the rest of the tribe and shouts "DENISE!" while voting for her in his boot episode.
And then, when he's leaving the island, he holds his arms out and begin whistling while he walks away. And then comes back, still whistling. Yes, Jonathan Penner gave himself a standing ovation. What did you expect?
Denise: If this vote doesn't go as planned there is something seriously wrong in the universe.
Jeff Kent, who made $60 million playing baseball, complains about the prize upon elimination: "It's only 600 grand after Obama takes it!"
Caramoan - Fans Vs. Favorites
It may be soul-crushing for Francesca, but no one can deny the humor in seeing her voted out first for a second time. Bonus points in that it was once again caused directly by her arch-nemesis Phillip.
Phillip directly addressing the camera when introducing his alliance, "Stealth R' Us, Inc", complete with spy music in the background. His alliance's reactions, especially Malcolm's, make the scene.
Shamar shouting "That's what I'm talking about!" in celebration after the reward challenge in episode 4...only to find out shortly after that the other team had won.
Malcolm getting an idol from Reynold at Tribal Council, now immortalized in Lego... and song.
The Phillip Boot, full stop. Malcolm's masterful showmanship and sharp lines ("Phillip is a fun sponge."), the varying looks on people's faces, and the excitement of the Stealth R'Us alliance being forced to strategize aloud in Tribal Council, and Phillip being unable to find his torch upon being voted out are only highlights. Watch it for yourself.
During one Tribal Council Andrea discovers her second vote for her and she blurts out "What?"
Cochran gets picked by the editors as the narrator for the season, and does a great job altering between snark and faux-cockiness, especially following his challenge wins.
Cochran telling Probst to stop talking about his mom during their team-up reward challenge.
Reynold's jury speech, where he makes Dawn use three adjectives to describe him and yells "YES!"at the top of his lungs when she comes up with "chauvinistic".
Cochran is asked if he'd be sitting beside people like Eddie and Reynold at the bar, or sitting away from them. Cochran says beside them, but then clarifies there'd be a woman on each side of him.
Blood vs. Water
Pretty much any scene involving BradCulpepper, most notably when he had trouble trying to explain how 5 has a majority in a tribe of 9.
Tyson explaining his cupcake belt buckle he got from a gas station pre-game.
Also, Tyson and Gervase stashing coconuts away from everyone else in Galang. They're almost found out when Laura B. is inspecting the coconuts and finding that they've been tapped into, but Monica unknowingly saves them by blaming the crabs for them. Gervase's confessional afterwards where he expresses his relief is hilarious as well.
Laura Morett talking so much about wanting to come back into the game for her daughter, while meanwhile Ciera has stated in confessionals that she thinks her mother will hurt her game. Her displeased facial expressions during her mother winning Redemption Island seal the deal.
Tyson on dealing with Monica:
Tyson: “You have to show her a little love, you have to show some respect… but she just likes to repeat the same idea over and over again, and I don’t want to be rude to her because I wanna keep her close, but at some point you wanna say… Monica, shut up. I’m just like, give me a rusty spoon so I can gouge my eyes out, and then I’ll jab the stick into my brain. It’s taking all of my patience. All of my patience.”
Tyson goes to play his idol in the Final 7... but when he has (or pretends to have) trouble finding it, he begins to rummage through his bag for it, at one point even instructing Katie to start holding things as he pulls them out. After a full 30 seconds, he pours out all the stuff from his bag and then picks the idol out to play.
Made even funnier by Hayden's exasperated "really, man?"
When Tyson finds the idol a second time, he has no pockets to hide it in. He opts to stuff it down the front of his pants where, as he puts it, "no one will suspect a bulge."
Surprisingly, Katie Collins has emerged to become possibly the funniest contestant of the season. Small moments of hers appear randomly through the season.
When Aras asks Katie if she's okay voting for Ciera, she replies "It's a game... bitch."
During the Final 6 Immunity Challenge, the contestants have to balance a ball on a long stick. Katie drops it onto her head. A few scenes of intense action commences... and then cut to Katie dropping it on her head again.
Katie is on Redemption Island after being the second person to draw rocks in the history of the show and draw the fatal rock. Her reaction and final words confessional? "I rocked out."
Tyson interrupting Hayden as he argues with Gervase in the incredibly intense Final 6 Tribal Council (where rocks would be drawn) to correct his Malaproper, ruffle feathers, to rustle feathers.
In the same episode, Gervase shouting his voting confessional for Hay-Done, a la Crystal Cox.
Think of how intense the storyline between the Baskauskas brothers is. Between Aras crying in his pre-game interview thinking about Vytas' drug addiction, Vytas confessing that envy made him hate his brother sometimes, the sumo challenge fight, their reunion at the merge, Vytas cussing out the tribe in his final tribal council for blindsiding his brother, and their tearful goodbye. With that in mind, could you imagine that the last time we see either of them this season is doing the robot in the background of Tyson getting his check at the reunion?
During the fourth Immunity Challenge, the Brawn tribe tries to throw the challenge, but the Brain tribe does so horrible, the Brawn tribe accidentally wins.
In the beginning of Luzon's third Tribal, Jeff uses body language to properly express just how annoyed he is at their failures. Yes, they suck so bad, Jeff can't use words to describe it.
While it must be pretty bad for them, there is some hilarious Irony at the Brains tribe (aka, the alleged smart people) being one of the worst tribes ever.
With New Solana down 6-5 at Tribal Council, Tony announces he's going to play an idol on one of the five, taunting them all. The New Aparris whisper to each other to vote for The Other One. After the vote, Tony announces he's playing the idol on LJ. After that, LJ gets out his idol and announces he wants to play it on Tony in exchange. After this bizarre exchange, the two laugh and joke about it, thrilled to have saved themselves with epic music in the background. And then the music stops and the first vote is read, revealing The Other One: JEFRA. It makes no difference as it turns out Kass flipped, but that moment qualifies as one of the most Oh, Crap Survivor moments ever.
When Spencer comes back from a reward to look for an immunity idol, Woo follows in self-professed Ninja Stealth Mode, culminating in an expertly narrated confessional as Woo steals Spencer's idol clue and runs back to camp.
Coming back from Tribal Council, Tony tries to put his torch with the others, and then the torches all fall down as he does so.
Kass tells Tony that it's a little too soon to be turning on a team of six. Given who's saying this to Tony, it's amazing Tony was able to keep a straight face.
At the Survivor auction, Woo wins a plate of ribs, which is bizarrely accompanied by a Sexophone and some unnervingly sultry Jeff Probst narration.
San Juan Del Sur
Wes and Keith recount their Day Zero story- they actually broke the flint they were trying to use to start a fire.
The scene where Wes tells John Rocker he knows who he is, for so many reasons:
Wes is carrying a gigantic bundle of branches. John is not carrying any. This is not at all addressed.
Wes is a huge fan of Rocker, whereas his father earlier labeled Rocker as an asshole in a confessional
John tries to make up a last name on the spot, and comes up with "Wet(te)land", which is either another MLB relief pitcher or just the exact terrain they're walking in at that particular moment.
Wes takes a painfully long time to get to the point in order to bust Rocker, in order to rub it in. In one point he asks if John's last name (R-O-C-K-E-R) has five letters. John actually has to think it over for a moment.
John finally confesses when Wes starts talking about how awesome John is.
With her back against the wall, Val comes up with one of the most ridiculous, outlandish lies you could think of. Several members of her tribe completely buy it. Even worse, it's the lie that sends her home.
To explain it, Val starts night three after the Nadiya vote-out claiming that she has two idols, to defer others from voting for her. This is insane in and of itself, as there is only one idol a tribe and it's been three days. However, after an Exile Island deal with Val's husband, John Rocker tries to save her. He finds the idol, and then tells Val to play one of her two idols, despite already having the Coyopa idolnote given there are two idols in the game, John may have thought Val had the other one, and lets the vote split 4-4 in the hopes that Val plays her idol, and doesn't do anything else. Obviously, she doesn't, which stuns Rocker, who votes for Val and gives a voting confessional venting angrily that Val didn't play her idol. At no point does it cross Rocker's mind that maybe Val didn't leave with two idols.
When Josh and Reed fight in the sumo match, Drew accidentally roots for the person on the other tribe.
After getting berated by her in Tribal Council for flipping, Baylor's voting confessional for Val is just an exasperated sigh.
Drew as a whole. Anything that comes out of his mouth leaves you with a red face.
Drew: Basically, I'm a badass.
Jeremy: Basically, he's a moron.
Drew has possibly the most humiliating round of gameplay in Survivor History.
He's already spent 9 days alienating everyone on his tribe with his laziness and arrogance, and decides to start round 4 going against his tribe in trying to convince Probst to take a trade for their old flint after they found it, despite Probst giving them hell when they tried to trade last time.
After that, he goes to Exile Island with his best friend's girlfriend, and immediately tries to flirt with her. It's there where he decides to throw the upcoming immunity challenge to get rid of "snakes in his tribe", without telling anyone, which he gladly tells Jaclyn. He does in fact throw the challenge without consulting anyone, sending them to TC.
Jeremy and Jon both go to him with offers to vote out Keith and Julie, respectively, but Drew shuts them both down, insisting that they have to get rid of the true snake, KELLEY, who up to that point had barely any focus whatsoever.
The fact that he thinks a girls' alliance will take over the game if Kelley isn't voted out, despite the fact that the girls are down 5-4.
He will not listen to anyone else at all. He keeps railing against Kelley to everyone, even two feet in front of Kelley, which he says blatantly that he doesn't care about. Even his best friend Jon is calling him out on being a jackass.
He ends up angering everyone so much that he ends up being the only one to vote Kelley, the other guys scatter their votes between Keith and Julie, and the girls band together with Jeremy to vote out Drew. That's right, Drew's own horrible gameplay against an all-girls' alliance created an all-girls' alliance to take him out.
"Wesley's a good kid. I mean, he ain't been to jail yet."
Someone said that they thought Alec was a threat and might have had the idol... when the camera showed Alec with a look of utter obliviousness on his face.
In Episode 10's Immunity Challenge, Reed and Natalie attempted to mimic Keith's spitting. Reed was successful, while Natalie's attempt ended up with her getting all of her spit on her shirt.
Wes bragging about his chicken nuggets record. "I won the chicken nugget eatin' contest. 58 chicken nuggets in 5 minutes."