Shadowjack: You realize, of course, that I'm actually leeching the soul energy from everyone in this thread to feed my Dark Master. "Otaku are a powerful source of energy."
Shadowjack (regarding the SNES RPG): Because there's nothing that says "Sailor Moon" so much as grinding mobs.
Usagi: Right, how many is that, Ami? Ami?
Ami: …What? Sorry, I fell asleep.
Usagi: You can cast Bubble Spray in your sleep?
Ami (yawns): Apparently. Where's Rei?
Rei: Walking in circles and casting Fire Soul on automatic.
Ami: Wake me when we reach level 40.
ru (about the speeches): for some reason, it always cracks me up when Usagi does a long-ass into <sic>, and then the others just pop up with "likewise!" that, and the fact that i always hear Sailor Moon as "Sailor Mooo"
Shadowjack (regarding episode 19): It occurs to me that Nephrite's lucky that happened, though. What if half the class had disobeyed orders and showed up?
Random Girl 1: I'm Sailor Moon!
Random Girl 2: No, I'm Sailor Moon!
Random Girl 3: I'm Sailor Moon and so's my boyfriend!
Shadowjack: "Kenny provided much energy for the Dark Kingdom! And he's a renewable energy source!"
Usagi (picks up Wand and waves it around): Drat. I can't sense anything. Must be interference.
Ami (picks up Ryo and waves him around): How about you, dear?
The Fireballed Mage (regarding one of the photos in episode 27): Damn right. That look is the last thing you remember before you wake upon satin sheets, tied spread eagle with a lit cigarette in your mouth, while nearby, a very confused donkey looks at you reproachfully.
Just before episode 29, Evil Midnight Lurker misreads the Transformation Sequence counter.
Shadowjack: I did know about the Rei-Rei connection, which is why it was a terrible temptation to draw Rei in bandages and blankly staring for those recaps.
The Fireballed Mage (regarding a negative opinion of "Ami's First Love"): I will pull myself over broken glass with my lips to fight you over this opinion, good sir.
Makoto: Oh, calm down, we're just joking. Tomato? (offers him one.)
Rhett Butler: (turns blue with rage, launches off like a rocket.)
Makoto: What's the matter? (eats tomato.)
Ami: This is getting too strange by far. Where's Usagi?
Usagi: (flies by, using her pigtails for lift.) Hey, Ami. Want to borrow them? (takes her pigtails off and offers them to Ami.)
Ami: (wakes up.)
Blazing Bat (after episode 31): For no reason at all, I'm now imagining Beryl shrieking and trying to climb the back of her throne to get away from a lost rat that climbed out of Zoisite's trouser leg.
Phigment (in response to an earlier comment): Wait, so, you'll be sitting around the life sciences lab, applying electricity to a bottle of phlegm or something, and then magical girls will suddenly break in and kill everyone? ... It seems like that sort of thing would make the news.
Shadowjack: Aw, man. Now I want to find a way to write Jägers into this thing.
Peter Svensson: There is a LOT of Sailormoon fanfic. My favorite being the one where Usagi gets stuck in a comma. Well, that's not what the writer meant, but the imagery of Usagi being in a punctuation mark can never escape my mind.
Shadowjack's GAMING ANECDOTE FROM YE OLDEN DAYS.
Tinkerbell's response to episode 44, mostly because, well...
No-Brand Hero: Thanks for quoting the entire thing for that. <insert wth-smiley here>
Evil Midnight Lurker's response to episode 44.
Shadowjack, on desynchronous reincarnation: "Right! Now to find my minions. Oh, damn. He died three hundred years ago, and she won't be born for another two hundred. Um."
The conversation about Beryl and rope-climbing.
ANT Pogo: Your drawings of Beryl always make me feel funny.
Like when we used to climb the rope in gym class.
JohnBiles: Beryl makes your hands chafe and then you fall on your ass and everyone laughs at you?
Radio Free Ruritania: Also, I just realised that I have two co-workers with upwards-pointing anime noses. One a short lady with sensible short hair and one a giant with a pony tail and a couple of locks hanging down her cheeks. :eek: Thankfully for the sake of my fragile sanity it is the taller of the two who is called Amy.
knightsky confesses as to how s/he finds the thread.
Cruton: They fell into a game plan pretty quickly, so I think it's safe to assume A&E has done this whole "planet vampirism" thing before. Which may also be their motivation for acting so picky — once you spend a few decades killing the Planet of Orange Starfish Who GoSpooby hand, you'd rather have a bit of luxury in your life.
Phigment (related to above, vaguely): I'm not sure their relationship has reached the "tying each other up" stage.
Cruton: Damnit, where's that flow chart—?
Jhiday: Megumi Ogata gets yet another cameo, voicing the taller of the two bullies here. Which means that Mie is bullied by Shinji --ing Ikari. Er, yeah. Maybe the smackdown laid by Minako here could explain a lot of his issues...
Also The Fireballed Mage: With that expression you can't tell if she's being normal Rei and thinking, "......" or else, "For this insult, I will kill you, your family, your pets, and everyone you ever talked to on a Tuesday."
Evil Midnight Lurker: I am now officially worried about Bailesu-sama. :eek:
Still Shadowjack: Hey, Mr. Biles! You having lag issues, or you just waiting for someone to jestingly tell you you're full of it?
Still Shadowjack: Because you are! You totally are! As full of it as you like! Okay? :P
Still Shadowjack: Wow. Hectuple post. Is that a local record? I've only ever doubled.
Cruton: I think this was the notion behind the "Princess" homebrew project at work up in TTO. The nWOD magical girl stand-ins could draw splat points by getting involved with people to make their lives better and then using that to power for, well, whatever they felt like, basically. It was pretty much a nicer, fluffier, simpler take on Forsaken. I'm... not sure where the design of the game stands now. Last time I glanced in that thread, there was a running debate about whether or not the Dark Kingdom was a dyson sphere.
Blazing Bat: Cue mental picture of Venus dangling a monster headfirst from her chain, shaking it so that its money falls from its pockets.
Norgarth: 2) as far as Venus' new attack goes, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me."
GaoGaiGar: I wonder if the Sailor V/Sailor Moon marketing machine in the show ever produced a plastic Love-Me Chain. Young girls running around whipping them at each other, calling out how it's in the name of love and beauty... oh, my.
Cruton(from a discussion on branching fannon): "Usagi" and "angry sex" just don't fit into the same thought. She'd start crying half-way through because Mamoru's face was so scary and he'd spend the rest of the night consoling her with cocoa and a DVD of My Fair Lady.
ANT Pogo: No one is questioning why Mamoru even has a Tuxedo Mask hand puppet??!
Cruton: The Sailor Scouts are well-known enough at this point to merit cheesy drug store toys of them, I think. And Mamoru is a college student, so he's automatically drawn to irony and recursion. He also a Sailor Moon lunch box. Sometimes, he has the lunch box and the puppet get married. Then he cries himself to sleep.
Shadowjack: Now that's just mean! :P He has a shelf in a cabinet where he keeps these things out of sight, and he always has the Tuxedo Mask hand puppet sit next to the Color-Change Squeeze-and-Talk Sailor Moon doll.
Between the seventh recap and episode 73:
Davies: ... you really must permit me to be cut to pieces on your behalf sometime.
Shadowjack: That is perhaps the most interesting compliment I have ever received.
During Episode 73, Makato says Ami has "Awesome unbounded talent." Davies reacts.
So, now I get to reveal why I always found your text-speak Mimete so funny...
Mimete is now trapped in the burgeoning mid-nineties internet. She doesn't use text-speak... she is text speak. Trapped forever as a data stream on the web, she vented her fury by ranting incoherently on newsgroups. Others picked up her style and ran with it, but she's still out there, somewhere. Perhaps that antagonistic troll on /b/, that illiterate Youtube commenter, that horrendous yet persistent poster on Fanfiction.net is really our Mimete, immersed forever in a media saturated landscape that only further fuels her mania and frustrated egotism...
Shingo: I remember I kicked open the door once because I thought they were killing the cat.
Usagi: [laughing] I was so angry that time.
Anonymous cat, face blurred out: The singing was bad enough, but it was the choreography that killed them.
Also Episode 7 (at Naru's house): "A bizarre scene ensues in which Naru secretly invites Umino over to her place and convinces him to dress in drag and play Usagi's part in the act, by implying that this will improve his romantic chances because Usagi is into this sort of thing. I really can't make this any stranger than it already is."
Later, at school:
Naru (blushes): Er… Umino, you don't have to do that off stage.
The fucking scariest bit of animation in the series to date. All seems to turn blood red, light and shadow twist inward upon each other. Rui screams in pain, her face a contorted mask of pain, her eyes roll up, and she collapses in a twitching heap. The dark energy swirling from her racket begins to coalesce, and then, terrifyingly, assumes the suggestion of a human form… and then abruptly is one.
Episode 15: Small running gag with poor Luna being in Usagi's arms during her small fit:
Luna: [is still in Usagi's hands. Flail flail waaaaa-hey.]
And still later...
Luna: [is still in Usagi's hands. Flail flail waaaaa-hey I feel sick]
The entire scene in its gloriousness:
[Usagi is playing Captain Commando and getting schooled, Ami is backseat driving…]
Ami: Want to play Street Fighter II for a bit?
Usagi: I swear this will be the last quarter I drop on this machine.
[…and Rei is grilling Motoki about Mamoru.]
Motoki: …and he lives by himself in a fancy loft apartment because he's the only son of a rich family. Can I get up now?
Rei [stands on a chair.] By Crom, I vow that I, Rei, WILL take this– ¿what's his name?
Motoki: Mamoru Chiba.
Rei: ¡–Mamoru Chiba on a date! And oh such a date it will be. A date to grind all other dates into the dust. Why, I myself marvel at the sheer perfectitude of th–
Rei [discovers that the chair had a loose leg.]
Ami: What was that crash?
Usagi: Me dying. Okay, last one, I swear.
Rei: ¡My spine!
Ami: My friend Mister Gardener told me never to come to the park again or the squirrels would get me – no, seriously! – because 'humans are not worthy of the boons that nature provides.' I'm a little… disturbed.
A few moments later...
Corporate Flack: And see if you can do something about those carnivorous butterflies. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to throw this cigarette butt on the grass.
Ami and Luna arrives at the temple only to see Grandpa chasing Rei ('Grandpa displays a remarkable aptitude for catching teenage girls'); upon catching her, he retrieved the rental wedding kimono Rei had tried to 'borrow' and this scene ensures:
Grandpa: You're not entering that shameless contest at the competition's secular wedding chapel, are you?
Rei: …No, no, of course not.
Grandpa: You're not eloping?! With this girl?!
Rei: ¿What? No. Hell, no.
Grandpa: Well, good. [changes gears.] Then she might be available…? [winks]
Rei [smites Grandpa.]
Episode 17: "What was Alexander Graham Bell thinking?"
To elaborate in this scene, Usagi and Luna just had a discussion about the best use of the cell phone.
Usagi: …For which the best possible use is to gossip with Ami!
Luna: Stop wasting our precious Lunar bandwidth!
Usagi: [dials] Hey, Ami, watcha doin'?
Ami: [picks up] Studying.
Usagi: [hangs up]
Luna: Now call up Rei. I want to hear her heckle you.
Usagi: What was Alexander Graham Bell thinking?
Usagi: Wait, where was I hiding the brooch in this swimsuit?
"I turned left!"
Episode 19: Naru's got it really hard for Nephrite.
Which, of course, baffles Nephrite.
LATE, LATE THAT NIGHT: The Shinjuku stores are starting to close.
But one store suddenly opens.
Naru [walks in.] Hello?
Tuxedo Nephrite [dramatically.] HELLO!
Naru [jumps for glee.] ZOMG it is you it is you! Masato Sanjoin is Tuxedo Mask!
Nephrite: How'd you know it was me?
Naru: …Your voice? Your stance? Your beautiful flowing red hair? The fact that the mask doesn't really hide your lovely face all that much?
Nephrite: Obviously you're Sailor Moon in disguise! No one else could be so perceptive!
Episode 20: The entire episode is one giant Scooby-Doo reference, complete with a "Treehouse of Horror" thrown in the end.
Ami, Rei, and Luna gangs up on Usagi.
Rei [throws the ball at Usagi]
Usagi [falls down.] OW!
Ami [throws the ball at Usagi]
Usagi [falls down.] OW!
Luna [throws the ball at Usagi.]
Usagi [falls down.] OW!
Usagi: When did it become Pummel Usagi Week?
Ami: It's pronounced 'Shining', dear. You know, you remind me of how I was not so long ago, because you're all sad and by yourself. The best thing to do… well, okay, a good thing to do would be to become friends with Usagi. She'll cheer you right up! Or drive you slowly mad. But it's a fun ride, either way.
Episode 29: The er... dramatization... of the apartment cleaning scene.
The above scene:
Makoto: Good GOD is it a mess in here. I've got my work cut out for me. Can't cook in a messy apartment!
Motoki: Really, you don't have to–
JUPITER POWER MAKE-UP!
< MAKOTO : TECH > THUNDER 1 : APARTMENT MESS >
<< Apartment Mess is slain! >>
Followed by an uprooted tree.
Makoto: [exercises enormous restraint and only punches the tree beside Usagi, instead of Usagi.]
Luna: [looks at the uprooted tree and howls.]
Makoto: Sorry! [picks up the tree and replants it.]
Shadowjack as Narrator: Incidentally, what does it say when one of the more stable relationships in the show seems to be two of the villains? But of course, you say, that's because most of the cast are teenagers! Good point. Never mind.
Usagi lets Makoto go.
Usagi: Yes I do! Ah, Motoki…
Usagi: [is swept up in a glorious sensurround daydream of Motoki proposing to Usagi.]
Usagi: [holds her crush close.]
Usagi: [closes her eyes.]
Usagi: [moves in for the kiss. Closer. Closer.]
Makoto: You're just vividly fantasizing about Motoki, right?
Suddenly! A +3 blessed throwing rose interrupts the conversation. A letter is wrapped around it.
Umino: [reads the letter.] "…It's a Cease-and-Desist Order. It says if I keep using the 'Tuxedo Umino Mask' persona and claiming Tuxedo Mask's actions as my own, I will be knowingly infringing upon Tuxedo Mask's trademark and therefore subject to legal sanction. …Well, so much for that." [throws away the hat and cloak.]
Episode 33: Beryl has complaints about "Tuxedo Mask" as a moniker.
Queen Beryl: Tuxedo Who?
Zoisite: A code name assigned from traffic analysis of–
Queen Beryl: That's not a name, that's just a description of what he's wearing.
Zoisite: Indeed, Your Majesty. Now, his past behavior suggests that we can reliably draw him out of hiding and–
Queen Beryl: By that logic, you're Uniform Ponytail and I'm Slinky Dress Crown.
Luna: [suddenly.] Hey, Usagi, what do you think of all this?
Usagi: Whoever [the fake Sailor Moon] is, she owes me licensing fees!
Usagi: I am sick to death of this light bondage theme, and it's just as bad to see you guys doing it to someone who looks like me! For goodness sake, talk about voyeurism by proxy. You have terrible taste, sir, and you should be ashamed! I AM SAILOR MOON!
Ami: Likewise, except for the voyeurism complaint! Sailor Mercury!
Episode 35: Shadowjack's description of the glimpse of Silver Millennium.
CUE FLASHBACK of a time of sunlight and rose petals. Ah, late-1980s anime fantasy, when women were real women, and men wore MASSIVE ECCENTRIC PAULDRONS and capes. And Princess Serenity did bestowwe upon Sir Endymion her knyght the starre-shaped locket which sang. And upon that night when the castle was besieged and in flames did he draw blade and fly to battyle, and she did weep to know she would never in this life see him agayne.
Usagi is starting to accept her identity as the Moon Princess.
Usagi: Then I have a request for impossibility number one: figuring out how to rescue—from another dimension—the princess! That is to say, prince!
Usagi: Let's not talk crazy talk, here. As my first royal act, I declare you First Minister of Pancakes.
Usagi discovers that practically everything in here has been or can be weaponized. The demon burns stuff with the hair-dryer, Usagi throws exploding face powder, the demon cuts up the room with the scissor cannon, Usagi counters with nerve gas shampoo…
It's a good thing everyone else is slumped unconscious on the floor, safely out of the way.
Mamoru tries to catch Usagi. The demon (BHDD is short for Bad Hair Day Demon) isn't helping.
Usagi: [holds Luna upside-down and shakes her.] All right, you cat, you. Trying to pretend I don't know about these things. I pay attention more than you think. I bet you actually do know a way to get my true love's memory back, and are holding it back because you think it'll build character, or something.
Luna: Put me down!
Usagi: TALK, damn you, TALK! Pay no attention, folks, the cat owes me money. TALK!
Luna: …I have got to find a way to direct that energy towards work. Maybe if I awarded a score for each youma, and let her kiss a boy as a prize?
Narrative: Mamoru and Ali notice that they're both good shots. SUDDENLY TESTOSTERONE!
Usagi is a lot like her dad…
Dad: [keeps running.]
Dad: [looks back, trips.]
Usagi: [just rounded the corner.] Oh, so that's where I get it from.
Usagi's mom wasn't too happy with her husband and son…
Mom: [cleans and bandages the injuries of Dad and Shingo, using stinging antiseptic and tightvicious YANKS on the bandages.] THAT'S what you get from leaving me at home and running off to have fun.
Episode 51: The way Shadowjack described the scene of Naru zipping Umino up in his bag.
Naru: [reaches her hand out, and gently, lovingly…]
Naru: […zips up the bag all the way, completely trapping Umino inside.]
Naru really takes after her mom.
Umino: [finally has been released.] Why'd you do that?!
Naru: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I had this sudden, instinctive urge to lock you away from everyone else so that no one else could ever have you. Ever.They laughed at me at the elementary school, BUT SOON, SOON, I SHALL SHOW TH—
Usagi: Easy there!
Naru: Heh. Whoops. Mom gets like that sometimes, I guess it runs in the family.
Usagi: Seems like it practically gallops!
Naru (and Umino) really shines in this episode.
Naru: [blushes, then tries to cover by getting angry.] Don't you ever feel embarrassed by what you say?
Umino: No, because I never say anything that isn't true.
Naru: Heh. But, look, there's tact, and propriety, and public appearance. There's a time to talk of love, and there's a time to talk of TREE!
Narrative: An evil cherry tree ambushes them and sucks them into a pool of light.
What is the Realm of Dead like? According to Usagi…
Rei: Good luck, Usagi. And please put my manga down.
Usagi: [wasn't listening.] Wait, what?
Mako: She's perfect for the job of infiltrating a kindergarten.
Usagi: Wait, what? Kindergarten?
Ami: You do have the only disguise pen.
Usagi:Wait, infiltrating—? Are there guards at this kindergarten?! What?
The little girl Mie is slightly let down by Sailor Moon.
Narrative:Usagi is sent flying through the doors of the bus to a hard and painful fall onto the asphalt.
Little Mie: Yep. She's Sailor Moon all right.
Usagi: [groans.] …my number one fan…
Sometimes Minako isn't the brightest cookie.
Usagi: [conducts the kids in singing] …deep enough, and strong enough, believe in you…
Moonlight Knight: [talks a little louder to be heard.] —then you can believe in yourself. Beside you is a powerful force! [he gestures at the kids.]
Mina: …You want me to throw the kids at the monster?!
Episode 53: Narrative: Let us feel some pity for Amaterasu's younger sister, who wasn't cool enough to gain the worship of an entire nation, but instead must bother babies for a couple of renegade space-elves.
Ali and En are thrilled with their new strategy.
Ali: FUCK YEAH, kicking babies!
En: Let's do it AGAIN!
Ali: But we've gotta be careful. Don't know when those 'Sailors' will show up again to ruin our sick and twisted fun.
En: I think for the next one we should snort cocaine off of the babies' bellies, and then drain them of their energy.
Usagi and kitchens doesn't get along.
Usagi: Baby formula, in the bag! Off to the kitchen! Usagi has got it under control!
Several minutes pass, with progressively worse noises coming from the kitchen. After the fire alarm goes off…
Moonlight Knight: Okay, I confess that he also enjoys the superheroic dialogue and spectacle—much as you do, I suspect—and my existence lets him exercise that desire. And being a mere projection of the subconscious, I am unrestrained by human qualities such as common sense. (bows.)
Sixth Recap: To start off, a picture of the Harem Comedy Mamoru's life became during the Doomtree Arc, mostly because of Makoto. Who is obviously joining in just for the hell of it.
Berthier would just like to inform Calaveras that Mercury is not to be messed with.
On cursed wands:
Ami: Wand produces an infinite amount of energy; Rubeus reverses the flow; wand absorbs an infinite amount of energy. And thus is conservation of energy maintained. Mathematically it's all quite simple. Too bad it's going to kill us all, Stephen would love to get close observations on this.
Makoto: Mercury, how do we kill it?
Ami: You can't kill a black hole, love.
Mako's not dumb, and Ami reassures the Senshi that "There's definitely a very slim chance we'll survive."
Seventh Recap: Shadowjack's reintroduction of the Senshi. It wasn't enough that he drew Makoto effortlessly carrying a Sailor V arcade console, no; he then had to draw Minako using the cats as a platform.
" — But a sinister force has come to the Juban district." <insert silhouette of Chibi-Usa>
Fiery!Latina!Rei is scary when she's angry: "¡Talk or I will cut you!"
Ami: "I… I admit I missed a few sessions because of cram school, but when did she start coming here? Does she even speak our language?"
Mako: "Well, we needed a cleric."
Mina: "Show 'em, honey."
Yamandakka /rolls dice. "CRITICAL HIT! Kill you, take stuff. Yamandakka!"
Ami: "…I think she'll fit in just fine.
Usagi showing that even when your illogical plan somehow works it can still be a really bad idea
Usagi: "She looks really preoccupied. Maybe she won't notice me. I'll just stand off to the side, here, and won't make eye contact. No! Even better, I'll cover my eyes so she can't see me!"
Usagi /covers eyes and waits.
Rei /trips over Usagi.
Usagi: "WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER?!"
Rei: "¡I didn't see you!"
The many breast jokes that come about from the daimon's methods
Mikuji uses Dark Star Assault Cleavage upon Rei!
Mikuji: "The power of boobs compels you!"
Rei: "¡No! ¡My only weakness!"
Usagi: "I AM THE TERROR WHO TRIPS IN THE NIGHT! I am the brassiere too tight for the bosom of Crime and Injustice!"
Rei: "¿The hell?"
Usagi: "They're right there! It's distracting! HOW DARE YOU TEMPT FAIR EARTHLING MAIDENS WITH YOUR SAUCY EXTRADIMENSIONAL WAYS! For Love, Justice, and Modest Dress Codes—I am Sailor Moon! And in the name of the Moon, I WILL PUNISH YOU!"
And at the end the denouement devovles into a whole slew of naughty puns.
Luna: "Can we stop talking about breasts? I think your Mamoru is blushing."
Episode 91: Nekonnell's cat-like behavior while stalking her prey
Nekonnell: /bursts in, dramatically!
Nekonnell: /thinks about it.
Nekonnell: /goes back outside.
Nekonnell: /stops and thinks in the open doorway.
Nekonnell: /decides to come in, after all.
Nekonnell: /no, wait. Goes back out again.
Little Girl: "…MAKE UP YOUR MIND!"
Episode 94: One of the funniest recaps, making it difficult to narrow it down to just a couple of examples. The comic about the fight between Neptune & Uranus against Sailor Moon & Tuxedo Mask in particular has Sailor Moon distracting Uranus with a peck on the nose, and getting Tuxedo Mask thrown at her head by Neptune in retaliation.
Mamoru: "Moon, I don't like your idea of a "hot date" very much..."
Usagi: "But we meet such interesting people!"
Episode 95: Mina relating the story of why Artemis took away her disguise pen, relating to when she used it in the Sailor V manga to turn into a guy to get the drop on the enemy.
Rei: "¿Wait a minute, you say you won?"
Mina: "Oh, hell, yeah. Pretty righteous bust!"
Usagi: "So why did Artemis take the disguise pen away?"
Mina: "Oh, well, you see, afterwards, I got to wondering about that disguise, and I—"
Artemis: /bursts in. "Stop! Stop! Stop right now. Stop that. She's telling the airship story, isn't she? That's enough, young lady. We'll have none of that, now. Time to go home. That's it."
Episode 96: The attempt to reconcile massive amounts of Les Yay, Fanon, and Shadowjack's alternate continuity with the show trying to reassure the radar that nothing is going on. Plus Sailor Moon's frustration with Mako's tendency to develop crushes.
Usagi: "Yes, yes. Her name is Haruka."
Mako: "Haruka. WOW! WOW! …WOW!"
Usagi: "GAAAAHHHH! Dammit, Mako! I thought you were over this! And you're both gir—I can't even say that with a straight face. Girls! Ami! Remember Ami? Wait, no, I don't actually know what's up with you two any more, this is the problem with behind-the-scenes stuff no one talks about, maybe it doesn't matter. Aha! Haruka's dating another girl. There we go. She's dating another… Mako? MAKO!"
Yuichiro's, er, "fight," for Rei's honor. Must be read to be believed. Includes:
Rei (just happening by): ¡¿What in the name of the Sainted Virgin Mary is going on here?!
Yuichiro (reeling): …I'll take you all on… all six of you…
Haruka: This drunk guy called me to an empty field to watch him beat himself up.
Rei meditates before the sacred flames.
Fire: <<You have reached Heaven's Help Line. If you know which of the eight million you wish to speak to, please chant their extension, followed by the word, 'amen', now. If you have a dying prayer, please chant, 'one', now. If you are a god, please chant, 'two', now. If you are following up on a previous prayer, please chant, 'three', now. Para servicios en español—>>
Fire: <<…We're sorry, but all operators are busy with other querants. Please state the nature of your issue, your name, and the location where you can be reached, followed by the word, 'amen', now. If the issue is urgent, please remain on the line, and we will be with you as soon as possible.>>
Episode 101: Michiru's reaction to Haruka playfully flirting with Usagi
Michiru: /is not irritated at this.
Michiru: /being irritated would imply that there was something between me and Haruka.
Michiru: /and we agreed that there isn't.
Michiru: /so I am not irritated.
Michiru: /and this is not a knife in my hand.
After accidentally upsetting Usagi by forgetting her birthday, Mamoru seeks advice
Rei: "Hikawa Shrine, Rei Hino speaking."
Mamoru (via telephone): /explains. "and since you're one of her best friends, I figured I'd ask your advice."
Rei: "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ¡POWER! ¡SUCH POWER! ¡I now have ultimate power over a man! ¡Hohoho!"
Mamoru (via telephone): "…I guess I don't need the advice that badly. Maybe I should hang up now."
Rei: "¿And never know? ¿And never understand a woman's heart? ¡Foolish man, you would throw my gifts away!"
Mamoru (via telephone): "You are not contributing to the breaking down of stereotypical relations between the sexes."
When the birthday party hits the low point with the birthday girl missing and everyone else preoccupied
Minako: "Apparently, we've reached that stage of the night where you can say any crazy thing, and no one will respond or care."
Minako: "It's like a free-swim of conversation. I'll start, okay?"
Minako: "So I've got an oscillating fan at my house. The fan goes back and forth. It looks like the fan is saying, 'No.'"
Minako: "So I like to ask it questions that a fan would say 'no' to."
Minako: "'Do you keep my hair in place?'"
Minako: "'Do you keep my documents in order?'"
Minako: "'Do you have three settings?'"
Minako: "'Liar!' My fan fucking lied to me. Now I will pull the pin up. Now you ain't sayin' shit."
Minako: "Okay, this is officially the worst birthday party I've ever been to. And that's counting the one with the spiders."
Episode 103: Ami's true nature briefly shines through when discussing Rei meeting with a woman in a cafe.
Mako: "Wait, I'm confused. If this other woman is like Haruka, are you saying she's actually a guy who likes to dress as a girl?"
Mina: "And give up on ever finding out what they're talking about? Because you know we'll find it funny not to tell you." ;)
Ami: /takes out a surveillance kit, blushing. "I'm doing this under protest, I swear."
There's also Usagi's reaction at the end to Chibi-Usa showing up again.
Usagi: "This is so unfair. Every time I gain a base, a small child shows up."
Mina: "Well, that is the general idea, isn't it?"
Ami: "Recent research in evolutionary biology suggests that small children instinctively interfere with their parents', er, intimate time, so as to focus available childcare attention upon themselves."
Mako: "Are we at all surprised that Usagi's child goes over-the-top?"
Usagi: "Yes, but isn't it stupidly dangerous for her to interfere before she even exists?"
Rei: "Well, she is your child."
Usagi: "Get Luna-P over here! Get Pluto on the phone— No! Get your Mom. I think I and I have to have a heart to heart."
Chibi-Usa: "Awwwwww." :( "But you're cooler than Mom."
Usagi: "You're darn right I am. Who do I think I am, shoving my kid off onto me when I'm trying to do dangerous work? I'm so irresponsible! Don't I know I can't take this responsibility?"
Minako: "It's not you, Sailor Moon, it's them. You're a wonderful girl, but they just don't think of you that way." ;)
Usagi: "You mean I've been 'neutral'-zoned?"
Episode 113: When the Outer Senshi apologize for having let the villains enter the solar system their supposed to be the first line of defense for, Tuxedo Mask tells them it's understandable and he doesn't blame them for not being there to stop every villain that had been in the series thus far, with Uranus and Neptune becoming increasingly shocked and confused with each new mention while Pluto repeatedly promises to fill them in later on what they missed.
Michiru: "Has everyone in the galaxy attacked the Earth while we were out?!"
The Professor makes coffee in his own style.
Episode 117: "Oh yeah? WHOA! No chainsaws!" "BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"What are they doing now, just transforming any old random junk into monsters?" One cut later...
Episode 126:What do Haruka and Michiru do when the see Sailor Moon pass out after rescuing Hotaru?
Haruka and Michiru: /do the logical thing and steal the baby.
Episode 127: Usagi's excuses for still not knowing her kanji 1000 years into the future.
Usagi: "You don't know! You don't know if, if, if in the future we all use some other language, and don't write in Japanese for hundreds of years! Maybe I'm a genius at writing space poetry in Moonspeak and you're the weird one for still sticking to stuff like lame ol' 20th-century English! Maybe I got, like, a brain tumor from fighting too much evil, and the future yous are all really sad that I can barely write at all, but I insisted on doing it myself anyway for my little girl! Huh? Did you think of that? You don't know! So there!"
Usagi's questioning Chibi-Usa about what she's doing back in the past gets a bit derailed.
Usagi: "What I meant to ask is why are you here?"
Chibi-Usa: "You're so helpless without me, I had to come back!"
Haruka: "That's true. It's so very true."
Michiru: "We may have to stick around and hassle you for another season or two."
Naru: "Since I missed the last party, can we have another? The daimons are gone, right?"
En: "Oh, hi! We were in the system, thought we'd drop by."
Ali: "Say 'hello' to Sailor Moon, Doom Sapling!"
Calaveras: "I hope you don't mind us joinin' this little shindig. We gave Miz Osaka a lift. Say hello, Petz!"
Usagi: "All right—OUT! ALL THE EXTRA CHARACTERS OUT! This is a family discussion!"
Chibi-Usa: "One for each side of his face." (like, duh) "And I felt funny and warm inside, but I knew I was safe, because I had shifted to Princess Mode all of a sudden. And he looked at me, and we began to sing together—"
Pegasus and Chibi-Usa: "Oooooooh sweet mystery of life at last I've—"
Usagi: "I'm still hung up on the three eyes."
Chibi-Usa: "Please! Don't spoil the beauty." (echo chamber) 'O, unicorn!' I said."
Pegasus: (echo chamber) "O, pretty one!…"
Chibi-Usa: "…he said…"
Pegasus: (echo chamber) "Please, keep this meeting a secret."
Chibi-Usa: "And then Usagi was shaking me awake. It was all a dream! OR WAS IT? What do you think, Usagi?"
Makoto: "Holy crap! That's no normal Monster of the Week!"
Minako: "Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit."
Rei: "Uh-oh, if V's scared, I'm scared. ¿What is it, V?"
Minako: "Is this it? I mean, is this it? Future Crystal Tokyo was all after an Ice Age, right? And we've been having all these prophecies about Silence and the End of the World and shit, right? IS IT HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?"
Rei: "…Oh shit."
Minako: "Oh shit. Oh shit."
Rei: "Oh shit."
Makoto: "Guys, calm down, calm down. It could just be an unusually-powered villain, they happen sometimes. Or it's a weird fluke, like Mamoru's space elf ex. Be cool. Like Ami. Right Ami?"
Ami: "I'm not calming down, I'm pissed off! That bitch is copying my schtick!"
The only context this needs is the fact that it works:
Usagi: "We have no choice then but to use the Tsukino Family Secret Technique!"
Usagi and Chibi-Usa: "LOOK! A DECOY!"
Part 4: Usagi: "In that case I learned that… um… I learned… There's weird stuff in space."
Chapter 1-2: I say, Ms. Takeuchi! You are a naughty, naughty artist.
"…Well, for starters, the uniform is so uncool."
And let's just think about that here: Artemis arranged for the development of an entire arcade game prototype, and associated advertising copy, solely for the purpose of a single training lesson for Minako. This boy's got a blank check. "Okay, Minako, for today's survival training, we've rented Okinawa. Yes, the whole island. Now pay attention, damn it!"
Chapter 1-3: So, uh, you'll only kill some of them, then? I suppose I should be glad at her restraint. :D
"This definitely rates about a 9.0 on my weird-shit-o-meter."
Minako: "—MY castle, Magellan, floating in its crystal shield in orbit above Aphrodite Terra on my mother world, Venus, the land of incandescent heat and sulfurous atmosphere, and it sang to me in my heart, and above the music I heard a voice that told me destiny had selected me for a great mission. And then I freaked out and fainted."
Artemis: "You would not believe how much trouble I had getting you into your pajamas and to bed."
Minako: "I bet you loved every minute of it, you little perv."
Minako: "Ever fought a harem of schoolgirls in close combat? It's not as fun as it sounds."
Revamp Vol. 2: A discussion on artistic nudity leads to the revelation of naked transformation sequences.
Revamp Vol. 3: "Why is the Japanese sense of beauty so subtly horrific?"
Item No. 1 on the "Reasons Minako no longer has Disguise Magic" list:
Luna: "YOU GAVE HER A GUN?!"
Mina: "It came with the uniform!"
Artemis: /hides under the bed.
Act 1: Mamoru shows just how stealthy a tuxedo can be.
Mamoru: "I'm in disguise!"
Usagi: "I'm going to pretend I never saw you or had this conversation."
Legend of the Dark Kingdom's Resurrection, Part 2: In this part, Minako's caught ogling a boy, the rest of the team... persuade... her to ask him out, they all (sans Usagi, something about "sick voyeuristic tendencies") get caught spying, boy calls out his buddies (also hiding in the bushes), and... interesting... flirtations ensue:
Student A: ¡I am Student A! (approaches Rei) ¡YOU! You are like the flame. ¡Student A like you very much! ¡Passion fruits!
Rei: …Passion fruits?
Student A: (sexily.) ¡Mangos! ¡Papayas! ¡You ignite an entire fruit salad of desire in my heart!"
Rei: …What the hell. Talk fruity to me some more, you Latin hunk.
Student B: I have a strong psychological attraction to intellectual women, due to various complex personal insecurities. I'd do anything within reason, and some things beyond reason, for such a girl.
Ami: I'm told my IQ is over 300.
Student B: (swoons)
Student C: I like a strong woman.
Makoto: Well, that's nice, but I'm afraid you just don't push my buttons.
Student C: (in His voice.) I can also do impressions.
Makoto: FUKKIN SOLD.
Shortly followed by:
Saito: Hey, gang, let's check out the astrology booth!