Funny / Siblings


    • "Dude, what the fuck?!"
  • The dandruff trees on RuneScape.
    Rob: Fuck is with those trees? They got dandruff or something? Those fucking trees need some fucking Head and Shoulders. Even though they're trees, they lack a head or shoulders.
    Johny: They're magic.
    Rob: That's some stupid fucking magic if all it does is give them dandruff.
  • Johny using his player to kill a unicorn on the game.
    Rob: You just mind your own damn business when you fuck the shit up for the hell of it. That's horse slaughter! You'll get life in horse court.
    Johny: Uh, unicorn court. They get pissed off when you call them horses.
    Rob: Like when you call zephyrs Pegasuseseses.
    Johny: What?
    Rob: Nothing.
  • "Bet I can break a window with it." "Probably." "Bet I can even KILL a man!...With it."
  • Rob: What the fuck? How the hell did you pull a 5000? That attack looked the same as those zero attacks you kept doing.
    Johny: Yeah, but I put my heart on that click.
  • Rob: Hey, what's with the crossbones above your head? Does that mean you're a pirate now?!
    Johny: No, it means...
    Rob: Did you level up your pirate stat?
    Johny: There is no...
    Rob: Dude, you're like a level 50,000 pirate now, huh?
    Johny: There is no pirate stat!...Hey, cool, they just updated it. They added a...pirate stat. Huh, cool, sweet! I can get a peg leg!

Don't Wake Robby!

  • Johny calling Rob a vampire. "Oh yeah, he's a vampire." "Count Robula-a-a-a!"
  • Rob's first dream. "Running back and forth between the houses! (echo) (Beat) What the fuck? Godzilla? (echo)"
    • Cue Godzilla trying to attack Rob and causing a tidal wave.
  • Johny: You gotta be kidding me.
    Rob: I'M NAKED!
  • When Rob tries to eat the biscuits and gravy but forgets it.
    Rob: Wait a minute, they're on the ground. I don't wanna eat this off the ground. One with filth and dog hair all over.
    (closes the door)
    Johny: Dammit.

Dog Daze of Boredom

  • Rob saying "hi" to Spike repeatedly at the beginning.
    Rob: Hi Spike. Hi Spike. Hey Spike! Hi Spike! Hey, Spike!
    Spike: If Rob walks by and says "hi" one more damn time, I'm gonna, I'm gonna...
    Rob: Hi Spike!
    Spike: ...lick my lips and blink.
  • "...While stroking my sideburns! FASCINATING!"
  • Spike confronting Chew the chihuahua and chasing him away.
  • Rob's fake animal noise. "CACTUS!"
  • Rob bragging to Johny about a paper mâché hand he made and making puns about it.
  • Spike fearing the family's computer printer.
    Spike: (to the printer) Hey, stop it, stop it, it hurts! IT HURTS!
    Dad: Spike, get in the kitchen!
    Spike: You get in the kitchen.
    Dad: I mean it, dog.
    Spike: Me too, homie. Let me shove this thing off and it's gonna be so fucking epic. (looks into the printer) Now where's its heart?
  • This exchange between Rob and Johny:
    Rob: Johny.
    Johny: Rob.
    Rob: Spike's a dog.
    Johny: Yeah.
    Rob: Dogs like being pettededed.
    Johny: RuneScape likes being playeded.
    Rob: Playdough.
    Johny: Play-don't.
    Rob: Play with yourself.
    Johny: No.
    Rob: I WIN! Let's bother Spike!
    Johny: Kay.
  • The ending, in which Spike commits a Squicky moment offscreen.
    Rob: (happy) SPIKE!!
    (becomes shocked)
    Johny: Ew.
    Spike: Do you mind?


Half Beard

  • When Rob starts shaving his beard, annoyed:
    Rob: Boy, shaving is...
    Rob: Shut up, beard!
    Beard: Okay.
  • "Rugged. Smooth. Rugged. Smooth. I'M SO BRILLIANT!"
  • Johny: I don't think you're in a mind, period.
    Rob: Semi-colon.
    Johny: What?
  • Before Johny starts playing Rob's "half beard theme" on his guitar:
    Johny: Rob, do me a favor.
    Rob: What?
    Johny: Blink.
    (Rob blinks)
    Johny: (whispering) Thank you.
  • Johny: (calling CJ) What? Dude, I'm playing my guitar. I don't wanna play 24/7. You do it! NO!
    (hangs up)
    Johny: I don't care how many peacock feathers you tickle me with, you damn weirdo.
  • Johny: Mom, can I get a ride?
    Mom: I'm playing my gypsy fortune telling cards. Wanna play?
    Johny: Dad, can I get a ride?
    Dad: Hm? No, I just got on the computer. I gotta get my solitaire fix.
    Johny: Danny, can I get a ride?
    Dan: No, JewJohn.
    Mason: Da-hee!
    Spike: (grunt)
    Johny: AHH!
    Dad: Just get Rob to give you a ride.
    Johny: No, his half beard's gonna...EMBARRASS me.
    Rob: (out of nowhere, startling Johny) HEY JOHN!!! (freezes, smiling for a long time)
    Johny: (sigh) Fine. You're gonna give me a ride, huh? You're not gonna stick around and embarrass me, right? ...You're just gonna stand there?
    (Rob runs off)
    Johny: Awwww.
  • "That was the decoy Rob!"
  • Mike: (upon seeing CJ chasing Johny with peacock feathers) Oh yeah, that reminds me.
    Bjorn: For the last time, Mikey, I am not gay, and neither are you! I think.
    Mike: (sly giggle)
    (Bjorn backs off)
  • The Stinger, with Rob's new beard style.
    Rob: Johny, come see!
    Johny: Oh, god.
    Rob: Reverse goatee is born!
    Johny: (groan)

Not-the-Final Fantasy XII

  • "Are we having a party in here?" "YES! PARTY!"
  • Rob: It's Final Fantasy, John, not Grand Theft Auto.
    Johny: Steal that chicobbo!
    Rob: I CAN'T! And um, it's pronounced "chocobo".
    Johny: That's stupid.
  • Rob: Johny?
    Johny: Rob.
    Rob: What are you doing?
    Johny: You're connected to the internet.
    Rob: So what?
    Johny: I'm gonna play RuneScape.
    Rob: Oh hell no.
    Dan: Bob, stop it! You're making Mason frown!
    Rob: What, what? Baby Mason? Frowning?
    (Mason looks sad, but changes his expression to concerned)
    Rob: Concerned?
    (Mason looks happy and giggles)
    Rob: Happy? Okay, now you're messing with me.
  • "REVOLUTIOOOOOON! Sky pirate!"
  • Johny: RuneScape has a story. Well, pieces of a story, in the mini-quests. Why do I have to do all this shit?
  • Rob: (about Vaan on the game) He's the worst character in the game, so I didn't use him.
    Johny: But he's the main character!
    Dan: Why the hate, Bob, why?!
    Rob: Dude, look at him for a second.
    (shows them Vaan on the TV screen)
    Dan: Aah, Jew!
    Rob: He's Michael Jackson with a stupid haircut. His stomach doesn't even look real.
  • Rob's Long List of wolf palette swaps.
    "Well, let's see, we have red wolf, orange wolf, brown wolf, blue glowing wolf, wolf on fire, wolf with a top hat, Teen Wolf, wolf with a funny mustache, wolf that turns into Link, inside out wolf - and that's not even counting wolfmen."
  • "Oh, Vaan, everybody hates you. The way you should be."

Heinous Anus Zone

  • Johny: (about Rob's imaginary Sonic level) I don't wanna hear this.
    Rob: Why not, John? It's such a good idea.
    Johny: It's a terrible idea.
    Rob: (chuckles) I'm gonna write to Sonic Team and tell them to put it in the next game.
    Johny: I'm sure they have better ideas than that.
  • When Mr. T comes out of nowhere startling Rob right after Johny says "Fool's gold."
    Mr. T: GRR! Oh, I'm sorry, did I scare you?
    Rob: Shit, man, I told you not to do that!
    Mr. T: Sorry 'bout that.
    Rob: I hate it when people do that.
  • "You never have a good idea." "BLASPHEMY!"


  • "If it's not a teenybopper movie with vampires in it for the hell of it...IT'S A TEENYBOPPER MOVIE WITH VAMPIRES IN IT FOR THE HELL OF IT!!"
  • Edward Cullen: I'm dangerous, leave me alone. I'm dangerous, leave me alone. I'm dange— (Beat) I'm a pretty vampire, shut up!
    Adrian: I hope this could be better.
    Rob: I hope this doesn't turn into a musical, but I swear, if Hannah Montana makes a guest appearance, I'm gonna go on a murderous rampage. AND YOU STUPID LITTLE GIRLS ARE GONNA BE FIRST!!
    Fangirls: WOOOOOOOOOO!
    Rob: GRAAAHH!!
  • "Glitter skin, glitter skin!" "I HATE GLITTER!!"
    Adrian: Uh, sorry, I forgot my gun.
    Rob: Of course you did!
  • Fangirl: Oh my god, I'm gonna go see Twilight! TV said it's gonna be awesome! WOO!
    Rob: Hey, let me save you both the trouble - EVERYONE DIES, THAT'S THE SURPRISE ENDING!!
    (walks away)
    Fangirl: (Inelegant Blubbering) I only bought a ticket...

Don't Sleep, Robby!

  • Johny trying to connect to the internet. "I said you'll never let me down!...STOP LETTING ME DOWN!"
  • "Gotta get on a good schedule, John. On a good schedule I gotta get. Good schedule I gotta get on a." "You're scaring me, Rob." "Fear is the devil's matchmaker, John."
  • Max: Canadian, eh? Johny? Eh, eh? You're trying to mock my country, John? We got botch hands, that means it isn't better!
    Johny: I said "uh". Uh! Like the bad beat machine I am.
    Max: Beat machine? Pff. You never played DDR.
  • When Johny happily snuggles himself on Rob's bed, pretending to sleep.
    Johny: But Rob, sleeping is good! Good sleep!
    (jumps onto Rob's bed and cuddles himself)
    Johny: Ah, this bed is so comfy! Oh yeah, it's such a comfy bed!
    Max: You're enjoying yourself there, Johny?
    Johny: Oh yeah, the pillow, the pillow! Feels so good to be so sleep!
  • "I'll be back!" "To the future." (Beat) "God dammit."
  • "All the effort wasted? DAMMIT! AAH! (crash) Dammit, who put my stereo here?!"
  • Max: Ooh, sounds important, should I be writing this down?
    Rob: You haven't been??
  • This exchange:
    Johny: You were sleeping!
    Rob: Nah, I was zoning out again.
    Johny: Sleeping!
    Rob: Zoning!
    Max: Meditating!
    Rob: Mediating!
    Max: Meteor!
    Johny: Sleeping, I said!
  • After Rob wakes up from his dream:
    Rob: You know what makes for a terrible pillow? The laptop keyboard. Especially one this fucking hot.
  • When Rob realizes he accidentally stepped in the burrito. "Ah, dammit, I forgot my feet were dirty from the burrito! Ah, gross, it's all over the carpet!"
  • Johny: Haha! I finally found the perfect way to make Rob go to sleep! More perfect - wait a minute! I said this already! That exact line! This has all happened before, I swear it! Dammit, screw this, this déjà vu shit's freaking me out! Time for me to go crawl on the fetal position on my bed! Why am I in this closet when I plot, anyways?
  • When Johny sees Rob finally going to sleep at the end. "FINALLY!" (Whap!) "Dammit!"