Comic Strip / Candorville

L-R: Clyde, Susan, and Lemont

Welcome to Candorville, and let Lemont Brown be your guide! He's the senior White House correspondent at a local newspaper and the only White House correspondent, and for that matter, the only reporter the paper can still afford. His only friends are Clyde "C-Dog" Dogg, a sweet-hearted gang type of dubious intelligence, and Susan Garcia, an upwardly mobile advertising executive who's a Horrible Judge of Character. Lemont is filing unsuccessfully for child custody from Clingy Jealous Girl Roxanne, drowning in a sea of credit-card debt, and staying cheerful, and trying to rise to the top.

The strip has been running since 1993, and is planned to continue till midcentury. The style is comparable to Doonesbury, but with the personal parts more character-driven and the political parts even less subtle.

In 2009, it had its first Out-of-Genre Experience in darkly comedic Urban Fantasy. Rather than committing fully to the new genre, however, it keeps switching back and forth between more realistic and more fantastical content, with results closer to a webcomic than to standard newspaper comics.

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This strip contains examples of:

• Affably Evil: La Llorona, and occasionally Roxanne.
• Afterlife Express: Lemont sometimes dreams that he converses with a recently deceased celebrity, usually on a train from Earth to outer space. For instance, he spoke with Steve Jobs in 2011, and with shooting victim Trayvon Martin in April of 2012.
• Against My Religion: Roxanne claims to follow an Aztec religion that bans the examination of DNA—ruling out a paternity test to determine whether Lionel is really Lemont's son.
• All Just a Dream: Lemont has come to the conclusion that the Unresolved Sexual Tension between him and Susan and her relationship with her very unqualified assistant drove him to hallucinate the incident with Saxon.
• Ancient Conspiracy: According to a drunkard in Mexico, "La Llorona, El Chupacabra, and Bigfoot have invaded Juarez. They're stealing men's souls and turning the now-empty husks into vicious killers. They're footsoldiers for an ancient... pass the salt." In the next strip, Lemont met La Llorona, so it can be assumed this wasn't just the alcohol talking.
• Appeal to Obscurity: Stephen King argues that Charles Dickens's fictional portrayal of slum life taught more people more about the slums than [mumble]'s factual reporting. Lemont, unable to hear him, asks "Who?" King responds "Exactly," and both wind up confused.
• Ax-Crazy: How Saxon seems to Lemont the first time they're alone together. Zigzagged-he's revealed to be Properly Paranoid, then it turns out he's even more paranoid than he needs to be, then it turns out he's a Friendly Neighborhood Vampire and is trying to protect Lemont.
• Beethoven Was an Alien Spy: Parodied. The many historical figures Roxanne manipulated included George Washington Carver. "She has a thing for peanuts."
• Black and Nerdy: A rare main character example. It's worth noting that Lemont never breaks the trope; he simply fleshes it out.
• Black Republican: A Strawman Political who often starts ranting about the evils of liberalism when waiting for the bus with Lemont.
• Bland-Name Product: There are brands like Concast Cable (not Comcast) and Feudalbanc Massacard (not MasterCard). The strip for November 3, 2013, used a sports team called the Candorville Rednecks to reference the Washington Redskins name controversy without using the real team's brand.
• Blue-and-Orange Morality: Roxanne sometimes seems like a case of Bad Is Good and Good Is Bad, and engages in Rooting for the Empire almost any time she watches a film with a villain, but there's always some qualifier behind it. That said, even characters who've commited murder tend to think she's scum.
• Bring My Brown Pants: Loafer. To be fair, he's been chained to a wall next to the skeleton of one of his friends, and his captor just growled at him.
• Cheerful Child: Lionel is usually in high spirits, in contrast to his gloomy father.
• Coat Full of Contraband: One of Clyde's money-making methods.
• Comically Missing the Point: Look for two characters, in the last panel, going, "What?" "What?" at each other.
  • In this strip, Lemont can't think of a topic to write an article about, then mentions that Dr. Kevorkian just got released from prison. Susan assumes he's going to try to kill himself, and says he takes Writer's Block too hard.
  • In particular, Lemont thinks about his reputation solely in terms of how he's thought of on startrektalk.com. He's less angry about being called the reincarnation of Hitler than about someone's saying that his favorite captain was Janeway.
• Compliment Backfire: The result of the above Appeal to Obscurity. King argues that Lemont's fictional interview with a ghost showed, better than any nonfiction could, the destruction Hurricane Katrina caused. Lemont doesn't know how to tell him it wasn't fictional.
• Cosmic Retcon: Lemont argues that "the Great Author" made the universe six thousand years ago, but decided to add several billion years of backstory.
• Couldn't Find a Tissue: One strip has Clyde, who has become Nouveau Riche, blowing his nose on a bunch of dollar bills (or possibly hundred-dollar bills).
• Credit Card Plot: This has been going on and getting worse for Lemont over the course of the strip. At this point, he's borrowing money with one card and using it to pay off the next in an endless cycle.
• Dark and Troubled Past: When Doctor Noodle is kidnapped, he mistakes it for a dream in which he's finally punished for the crimes he still feels guilty for.
• Decoy Damsel: Pity poor Artemis Kenchu. A few centuries ago, he rescued Roxanne from a group of vampires, then discovered they were trying to kill her because she was even more evil than they were. Apparently, he spent the rest of his (un)natural life as her servant.
• Despair Event Horizon: Part of the reason for Clyde's irresponsibility is that he's long since crossed it.
  Clyde: C-Dog don't never dream 'cause dreamin' just make real life worse, Big L. Let's say I dream I can stand on a corner or walk across the street without some cop bothering me. Then when I wake up, no matter where I go, there some cop lookin' out his car window at me, just waiting for a reason to "put me in my place." If I don't dream the world can be better, then I ain't never disappointed.
  Lemont: I know what you mean. Last night, I dreamed you weren't so depressing.
• Dream Land: In the future of the setting, scientists will prove that this is a real place. It also allows for Time Travel, but changing the past never seems to work.
• Dumbass Has a Point: Clyde isn't the brightest guy in the world, but he occasionally makes salient points on systemic racism and other issues, most notably his discussion about the Magical Negro trope and his tangent on Police Brutality.
• Either/Or Prophecy: Parodied. If a vampiress can produce a Dhampyr, which Roxanne managed to do thanks to modern fertilization techniques, she'll lose all the standard weaknesses and the need for blood while retaining all the assets. It's prophesied that she'll someday rule over mankind—unless she gives into her still-existing desire for blood, in which case she'll be returned to normal having gained nothing. "And her APR would shoot up to 29.97%."
• Fangs Are Evil: The nastier the monster, the bigger the fangs. Characters with a Game Face have their fangs grow and shrink depending on how intimidating they want to be (as does Susan's pet wolf, although at this point, it's all but confirmed that the dog is a shapeshifted Roxanne.)
• The Farmer and the Viper: Susan adopted a stray wolf, possibly while under mind control. So far, it hasn't done anything to her, but there's been some ugly foreshadowing, and one highly unnerving dream that might not have really been a dream.
• For Inconvenience, Press "1": What happens when Lemont attempts to call his health insurance company.
• Funny Answering Machine: Lemont's answering machine always identifies the caller, usually "Mom" or "creditor." To the latter, he tends to mention his lack of funds. To the former, he's painfully self-effacing and apologetic for not living up to her expectations.
• Funny Background Event: When Lemont is on a Ridiculously Long Phone Hold with his bank, the half-finished building seen through the window behind him is finished, extended again, destroyed by an Alien Invasion, and replaced by a futuristic city.
• Genre-Busting
• Give Me a Sign: Reverend Wilfred sometimes asks for this when he's about to do something awful, and it's always responded to with a blackout. This turns into a plot point when he's deciding whether or not to reveal that the local voting machines have been rigged to elect a corrupt candidate—the machines are of a type that wipes its memory in the event of a blackout, and only Clyde used a paper ballot, voting for a snide rap star.
• Granola Girl: Roxanne has aspects of this Gone Horribly Wrong—for instance, she views eating meat as immoral, but thinks wearing fur is a way of preserving an animal's beauty forever.
• Gratuitous Spanish: Susan, mostly when irritated.
• Horrible Judge of Character: Susan. It's eventually lampshaded when she attempts to take home a hungry wolf.
• I Am Big Boned: Lemont claims this is the case for him. Clyde is not convinced.
  Clyde: Bones don't jiggle, Big L.
• I'm a Humanitarian: Roxanne apparently did this to Loafer, complete with ketchup. Don't think about how that can be done by a character who can't drink blood.
• Innocent Innuendo: "I accidentally tweeted a picture of my junk."
• In the Blood: Lemont is trying to prove this wrong—his father abandoned him, so he'll be a father to his own child, even if it makes him miserable. It'll be interesting to see how this applies to the child itself, which is presumably a Dhampyr like Saxon.
• It's All About Me: Everyone does this from time to time, particularly Roxanne and Susan.
• Jaw Drop:
  • More like a jaw unroll, actually.
  • Seen again when the judge delivers the verdict at Lemont's custody trial.
• Laborious Laziness: Clyde uses his degree in biomechanical analysis to find the optimal position to use as little energy as possible.
• Lawyer-Friendly Cameo: Filbert is a barely disguised Take That! to the titular character of Dilbert.
• Leaning on the Fourth Wall: In a dark fashion.
• Love Martyr: Clyde neglects and ignores his girlfriend to the point where he's literally unable to perceive her existence except when she's complimenting him, but she is still sticking by him and seems certain that their relationship just needs a bit of work.
• Love Triangle: Susan loves Lemont; Lemont loves his college crush Sasha. Sasha may or may not still have feelings for Lemont, but feels very bad about accidentally causing this unrequited love triangle that broke up her friendship with Susan. Further complicating things is that Sasha is married with children and she's described her husband as abusive.
• Magical Realism: The strip began closer to this than to a straight-up Slice of Life—for instance, Lemont had occasional interviews with the talking corpse of a slain terrorist, which were integrated into the continuity.
• The Masochism Tango: Susan tends to get into these relationships.
• Meaningful Name: Generally negative, like Susan's ex-boyfriend Phil Anders and her assistant Dick Fink. There's also Lemont's lawyer, Loafer Meek.
• Mood Whiplash: Every once in a while, this strip gets completely serious.
  — I interviewed the ghost of a Hurricane Katrina victim. Maybe I imagined it. I don't know. But could you blame me? I watched an American city drown. I watched mostly black bodies floating across my TV. I watched as some people shot black refugees rather than help them. If you can watch that and not go crazy, you're not human.
• My Hovercraft Is Full of Eels: An unfortunate result of communicating through grunting noises.
• Nerd Hoard: Lemont tells Susan that he's ruined his reputation by accidentally tweeting his "junk" for all the Internet to see. The "junk" he refers to is his collection of sci-fi knickknacks.
• No Sense of Direction: Artemis Kenchu managed to wind up somewhere snowbound while trying to get to New Orleans. Saxon apparently shares this trait, although it hasn't come up in the plot.
• Nostalgia Ain't Like It Used to Be: Subverted, with a strong reminder that Lemont is in fact black.
• Not in Front of the Parrot!:
  — Sqwawk! Big L! This big #@$% sho' look dumb widdat bird on he shoulder. Sqwawk!
• Obfuscating Stupidity: There are some indications that Clyde acts stupid because that's how black people are expected to be.
• Oblivious to Love: College-age Lemont thought that Susan's best friend was "just being friendly" during all those hours of laying in each other's beds with their arms around each other; there's also the fact that she named her teddy bear "Lemont Jr" (he thought she was making fun of him) Present-Lemont can't believe he was that stupid. There's also the fact that a whole bunch of girls would hang out by his desk every day.
• Old Media Are Evil: Initially, the "Mainstream Media" was anthropomorphized as a loudmouth who always told the truth, but whose most unnerving or sensationalistic statements were represented in larger letters. He was later replaced by an intelligent TV, which retained the same personality and speech patterns. On the other hand...
  • New Media Are Evil: "The Internet" was once anthropomorphized as a tinfoil-hat-wearing paranoiac.
• The One That Got Away: Surprisingly for Lemont, not Susan but her best friend in college, Sasha. Using dream Time Travel, Present!Lemont tried to get College!Lemont to ask her out during one of their "friendly" snuggle sessions, but College!Lemont choked. Lemont's "farewell" to the relationship they never had seems awfully sincere for a mere comic character...
• Operation: Jealousy: Susan's attraction to her assistant is just a ploy to get Lemont jealous.
  • It appears to have backfired spectacularly.
• Our Vampires Are Different: [[While Cajun in origin, they're half Japanese Vampire and half Dracula. Their most interesting traits are Animorphism (wolf form confirmed, bat suspected), Compelling Voice, and several levels of Game Face, ranging from Cute Little Fangs to Looks Like Orlok. They're known to burn in sunlight, and to be sufficiently vulnerable to garlic that they can't enter a field of it (though Saxon lacks both of those weaknesses.)]]
  • Not Using the "Z" Word: "Copyright issues. Lawyers would get involved."
• Overly Narrow Superlative: Lemont's psychologist is the recipient of the Candorville Psychologists who Work on Gilman Street Between Third and Fourth Avenues Association award.
• Pointy-Haired Boss: Susan's. He never appreciates her and might even reward her male secretary by mistake due to him (the secretary) being a total weasel who is blatantly after Susan's job.
• Pre-Approved Sermon: Applied to faith-based initiatives, with Reverend Wilfred forced to give pro-Republican sermons in return for payouts. (Again, this is not a very subtle strip.)
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech: When Lemont accompanied Osama bin Laden to the afterlife, he gave him a "The Reason You Failed" speech, saying that while bin Laden did indeed hurt America, the act did no good for his own people.
• Recursive Canon: Lemont sometimes reads collections of Candorville.
• Red Eyes, Take Warning: Standard for characters with a Game Face, though Saxon, who isn't evil, has Milky White Eyes instead.
• Red Pill, Blue Pill: Parodied—Lemont prefers chewable pills anyways.
• Rewarded as a Traitor Deserves: Not a traitor to friends, but to an ideal. Loafer's loyalty to his clients is one of his highest virtues. Captured by Roxanne, in order to be freed he "betrays" Lemont (his wording) by calling him and convincing him to give up his custody battle against Roxanne. Roxanne then points out to him that he himself called her evil and untrustworthy. It appears his final words were "D'oh!"
• Ridiculously Long Phone Hold: Lemont is on hold with Wells Fraggo Bank for long enough that he grows a beard, it turns white, he dies and turns into a skeleton, then the skeleton crumbles to dust (while the building seen through the window is finished, extended again, destroyed by aliens, and replaced by a futuristic city). His hat, house, table, and phone are still fine, and the phone still works.
• Right Hand Versus Left Hand: Common in the political segments.
• Running Gag: It's not recycled material or copied art, it's a running gag!
• Sarcasm-Blind: A recurrent problem for Lemont, especially when talking to Susan.
• Scary Black Man: Clyde tries to be one of these, but he really can't pull it off, especially given his tendency to Poke the Poodle.
• Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: Presumably the reason why the judge in Lemont and Roxanne's custody case is Roxanne's mother. No one ever said Roxanne's mom likes her.
• Shout-Out: Lots, mostly from Lemont's love of Sci-Fi (he's frequently seen in a Star Trek T-shirt, for instance).
  • Clyde also offers "C-Dog's incredibly bad advice" from a booth similar to Lucy's "Psychiatric Advice" booth.
• Shut Up, Hannibal!: Lemont versus the ghost of Bin Laden. "How does it feel to die irrelevant?"
• Sinister Surveillance: The NSA is watching Lemont as a possible traitor, and they even spy on his dreams. The agent watching Lemont isn't all that concerned about him, though, and has tried to befriend him, much to Lemont's disgust. (Incidentally, the agent hasn't shown up since Bush Jr. left office.)
• The Slacker: Clyde's an unusually well-trained one, using his degree in biomechanical analysis to find the optimal position to use as little energy as possible.
• Thpeech Impediment ( possibly Fang Thpeak?): Lemont's son Lionel has an annoyingly cutesy lisp.
• Stereotype Reaction Gag: Told that he looked like that guy running for president, Lemont responded that he looked nothing like Obama. As it turned out, he and McCain "are both really old".
• Strawman Political: There are three of them, and they all get lampshaded. Notably, the arch-conservative is a Black Republican.
• Sunglasses at Night: Clyde is never seen without sunglasses.
• Take That!: In response to Scott Adams's controversial statements, the strip featured "Filbert" (an obvious and barely-disguised Expy of Dilbert) and depicted him as an out-and-out racist.
• Talking to the Dead: Played for bleak laughs when, as a result of the above spoilers, Loafer addresses the skeleton of one of his process servers. He asks "Can you forgive me?" and (since he's a lawyer) takes the skeleton's silence as a "Yes."
• Those Two Guys: Two bums named Rosencrantz and Tyrone offer commentary on society, often with one of them using faulty logic to justify something like eating the other guy's lunch.
• Timey-Wimey Ball: Lemont has interacted with his past self (who he berates for waiting every Christmas for his/their Disappeared Dad who will never return) and his future self. Additionally, Lemont's future self meets Clyde at Susan's place to warn him that, due to Susan's phone not working, she won't get Lemont's call to rescue him in Mexico where he'll unleash a Sealed Evil in a Can that will cause the universal health bill to not pass, inadvertently killing millions without insurance including someone who would have cured death. It's then revealed that Susan's phone doesn't work because Clyde stole it while waiting for Future!Lemont.
• There Are No Therapists: Actually, there is one, a fellow named Doctor Noodle, but all he does is listen and ask questions, never giving answers to the questions posed to him. When his notepad is viewable, it's marked only with doodles.
• Through the Eyes of Madness: Saxon's explanation of who Roxanne really is. Lemont thinks he's just crazy—until Saxon shows him his Game Face. Later on, Lemont's experiences are themselves subjected to this, since he's the only one who sees the strip's weirder events. Triple subverted, unless Loafer is also insane.
  • The entire cycle of real-not real-real, condensed into four panels.
• Unresolved Sexual Tension: Lemont's clearly in love with Susan, but he's afraid to make his move, both because of his issues with Roxanne, and because he's Genre Savvy enough to know about Shipping Bed Death.
• The Voice: Lemont's mother is represented by a phone even when testifying in court.
• Wham Line: All of the above spoilers, and the strip's entire Genre Shift, revolve around two lines from Saxon: "The vampire, Roxanne, is not my lover. She's my mother." Of course, this was rather helped by Saxon's suddenly gaining Milky White Eyes and fangs.
  • The judge admitting that while Lemont hangs out with bad company, her daughter is the epitome of bad company, thus awarding Lemont custody of Lionel.
• Write Who You Know: Parodied in-universe. Lemont wrote a story about his own Unresolved Sexual Tension with Susan, but when she noticed and asked about it, he told her that "all my stories are completely fictional." Clyde appeared and informed Lemont that he'd read, and found hilarious, Lemont's story about a guy named Clive who's too stupid to realize when other people are talking about him.
  • A later strip reveals that Lemont's newspaper column is often Life Embellished, and that his Author Avatar and his version of Susan are the Fan-Preferred Couple.
  — I don't get that. Why do readers automatically assume two characters should end up together just 'cause they're compatible in every way, immensely attracted to each other, and feel complete when the other one is around?
• Wrong Genre Savvy: Lemont gets most of his knowledge of fiction from Star Trek, so this is bound to happen at times.
• You Keep Using That Word: Lemont will frequently interrupt strangers' conversations to correct their grammar, much to their displeasure, or miss the point of something entirely because of one misused word. A flashback shows that he's done this since childhood, ignoring An Aesop because of his mom's poor grammar. Currently he's got enough foresight to NOT correct his college crush's grammar, but not the judge overseeing his custody case (he thinks knowing law lingo is endearing).

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