Characters / Scott The Woz

Hey all, character page for Scott The Woz here!

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Scott and Friends

Team F*cked ^note From left to right: Rex Mohs, Jerry Attricks, Jeb Jab, Scott The Woz, Target Employee, Terry Lesler

Shared Tropes

• Cloudcuckoolander: Even in the weird world they inhabit, their thought processes are bizarre.
• Color-Coded Characters: In "Merry Christmas, Data Design", each member of the group have a differently-colored Santa hat. Scott has blue, Terry has purple, Jeb has green, Target Employee has red, Rex has yellow, and Jerry has black.
• Flanderization: Lampshaded and defied by the group in Borderline Forever, who try to mitigate their tropes and add new character traits to themselves (such as Jeb's gun ownership and renouncement of veganism and Target Employee's job search).
• Large Ham: All of them are this, with the exception of Terry and Wendy's/Target Employee (who are both Cold Hams).
• Mass "Oh, Crap!": They all scream in terror when Rex accidentally revives Officer Steel Wool in Gaming Revivals.
• Non Sequitur: How the gang talks to and interacts with each other 80% of the time.
• Sanity Ball: With them all being oddballs in their own way, the role of the one closest to reality switches around a lot. Usually it’s handed off to Wendy’s/Target Employee or Terry, but occasionally Rex, Jerry or even Scott himself gets to have a turn.
• The Team: Parodied. Not only do they end up as "Team F*cked" but when the gang ready to face off against the Blue Border, Scott assigns them some pretty random roles. Terry Lestler is the treasurer. Jerry Attricks becomes HR. Jeb Jab is the customer support representative. Rex Mohs is the moral support representative. Finally, Target Employee is Catering.
• Vitriolic Best Buds: It's unclear what exactly holds the group together (especially considering their sometimes-justified hostility towards Scott), but whatever it is, it seems to work out well enough.

Scott Wozniak

Scott Will Eventually Take A Look at the First Mega Man "The Woz" Wozniak (Working Title)

Played by: Scott Wozniak
First Appearance: Nintendo Switch Wish List

"Hey all, Scott here!"

Titular character, chronically unemployed virgin and talker of all manner of Stupid Nintendo things.

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• Achievements in Ignorance: Somehow managed to unconsciously buy a house at the end of Gaming Revivals.
• Bad Liar: His lies tend to fool nobody except for Jeb Jab.
• Barrier Maiden: At the end of Borderline Forever, Scott contains the Blue Border so no one else will have to live with it.
• Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Scott is a Cloudcuckoolander par excellence, yet not only is he actually quite insightful on the topics he covers, he's also capable of saving the day.
• Cloud Cuckoolander: Scott's logic can be very hard to follow at times, with him doing things like buying an entire shopping cart of Chips Ahoy! for one game code and getting his gallbladder removed for fun. It's also heavily hinted in-universe that Scott doesn't have a web show and just narrates about video game topics to no one in particular. This peaks in Gaming Revivals where he tries to work off his debts by selling ghosts, only for him to unknowingly facilitate Steel Wool’s revival before deciding to just go the direct route and simply resurrect his financial stability. Literally. With necromancy. All while completely failing to sell even a single ghost.
• The Cuckoolander Was Right: He believes the Madden Curse comes from having the word Madden on your chest in "The Great Mysteries of Gaming". He's proven right at the climax of the video when he defeats Officer Steel Wool by putting a piece of paper with Madden written on it on his chest, causing Steel Wool to immediately collapse from a sudden foot injury.
• Crazy-Prepared:
  • Scott keeps a spare copy of Madden 08 in a reality proof ziplock bag in case of the timeline being altered.
  • Keeps a paper with "MADDEN" written on it (which he refers to as his first piece of Madden fan art) to incapacitate any would-be murderers using the Madden Curse.
• Didn't Think This Through: Has a habit of leaping before he looks when it comes to his plans, like when he glued his hands to his 2DS before inserting Chibi-Robo: Zip Lash or when he accidentally killed his Lincoln Chia Pet because he didn't pay attention to the Wikihow article named "How to Break a Chia Pet".
• Dissonant Serenity: Has an alarming tendency to under-react to his hands being suddenly covered in blood.
• Extreme Omnivore: He ate his possessed Wii at the end of Memory Cards.
• Fanboy: For the Madden NFL series, most prominently Madden 08.
• Failed a Spot Check: Scott has some incredible lapses in basic observation. The prime example being that Scott claimed to have wasted many hours playing Ride to Hell: Retribution... only to later find out that he wasn't playing the game, he was holding an active bee hive.
• A God Am I: After realising that he's not died once, like God, Scott decides to become God. At least he's humble about it.
  Scott: See, even God can have an epiphany.
• Go Mad from the Revelation: In From Reveal to Release, Scott found out that his name was just a working title, which caused him to go so mad that he ate at Burger King.
  • In Cancelled Games, Scott finds finds out that information about Geist DS was leaked to the public. Finding out about this leak prompts him to become incredibly overprotective of his privacy to the point of blurring out his ink jet numbers and freaking out because he heard someone say a single digit of his social security number.
• Heroic Comedic Sociopath: He evades his taxes and once tried giving out alcohol to underaged teenagers, but he's still willing to stop a bigger threat when it comes down to it.
• Improbable Weapon User: Uses his bottle of Pepto-Bismol against the Green Bay Packers, which reshaped and froze into the shape of a sword following him opening it as the Hour of Variety was exiting Earth's atmosphere.
• Laser-Guided Amnesia: After discovering that a copy of Chibi-Robo Zip Lash resurfaced in his toilet, Scott suppressed his memories about it and temporarily became a therapist.
• Lethal Chef: Scott's attempts at cooking are as sporadic and nonsensical as he is so it's no suprise when the end result is a disaster.
  • In the stand alone skit, Cookin' Hard, he blunders his way through a simple microwave meal and ends up vomiting in the toilet.
  • Scott once attempted to bake his own milk and somehow ended up burning it.
  • He even found ways to mess up cooking tinned soup as he opened the can by cracking it like an egg and only after he finished the soup, did he bother to check the expiration date.
• "Metaphor" Is My Middle Name: Played with. According to Scott's birth certificate, his middle name is "Will Eventually Take A Look at the First Mega Man".
• Money Dumb: One of Scott's defining traits are his terrible spending impulses. Not only does he have to get everything he sees, he has to get far too much of everything.
  • He once bought an entire shopping cart full of Chips Ahoy to obtain a single use code for a Sea of Thieves item.
  • Deconstructed in It's a Bargain Bin Christmas where Scott's financial irresponsibility drives him bankrupt.
  • Scott's purchase of Donkey Kong Jr. Math apparently involved a Loan Shark, given he's living in fear of his legs being broken.
  • During the story arc where Scott is robbed, it's eventually revealed that a bank^note not the bank repossessed his items because when they asked him if he had any debts, he wrote "SOS". Scott fixes this by attempting to sell ghosts, and when that fails instead resurrects his financial stability and buys a house while unconscious.
• NEET: Double subverted. In The Games That Time Forgot, Scott announces that he just got promoted to stay-at-home son before begging for someone to hire him, then he started working at Games on a Shelf in Game Stores, only to run the store out of business. Since then, he's been living off unemployment checks and fear.
• Nerds Are Virgins: Scott has a very complicated relationship with his virginity constantly changing between denying it, desperately trying to lose it, being indifferent to it, celebrating it to in one strange case, wanting to get labeled as a virgin.
• Oddly Shaped Sword: Scott's weapon when fighting the Green Bay Packers is a frozen bottle of Pepto-Bismol that he uses as a sword, with the frozen splatter serving as the blade.
• Only Sane Man: Can sometimes act as this when dealing with his friends/acquaintances, which says a lot.
• Overly Long Name: One which turns out to be a Working Titleinvoked, no less!
• The Scream: Scott can scream at full volume and at the drop of a hat. Here's a taste of his angelic vocals.
  • After playing the worst games of all time Scott spent a whole day screaming while still going about his business.
  • When talking about the Dark Age of Nintendo (2015) Scott smoothly switches from commentary to blood curdling scream as soon as he brings out Animal Crossing amiibo Festival.
  • In ''Merry Christmas, Data Design", the prospect of playing a tactics game from the 80's has him screaming so loud he clips the mike.
• Suddenly Shouting: Has a habit of suddenly shouting at the end of his sentences either to emphasize a point or to change the topic.
• Super-Senses: Claims that his five senses are set to "dangerous levels" and demonstrates it by sipping lemonade and screaming in agony.
• Weak, but Skilled: Scott easily gets beaten in a straight fight, but his quick thinking and exploitation of weaknesses allow him to win the battles he gets into.
  • Scott's able to use his "street smarts" to stash a metal baseball bat in the cornfield ahead of time, letting him destroy the Polybius cabinet that was chasing him.
  • Held at gunpoint by Steel Wool, Scott is able to invoke the Madden Curse by slapping a piece of paper on his chest, causing Steel Wool to come down with a terrible case of career ending injury.
• Rage Breaking Point: In Mario Party (N64) | Party Hard, after a whole episode of trying to wrap his head around Rex Mohs flip-flopping between having a deep knowledge of Mario Party and being clueless about the basics of it (including its existance) Scott finally snaps when Rex claims that his hometown is "Wario's Battle Canyon" and forcibly tries to remove his Wario cap.
• What the Hell, Hero?: Gives one to Jerry in The Gifts of Gaming for inviting Steel Wool to their Christmas gathering despite him being a convicted murderer who came Back from the Dead.
• Working Title: His name is one. His discovery of this drives him so mad that he eats at Burger King.invoked

Terry Lesler

Terry Lesler

Played by: Joe Robertson
First Appearance: A Very Madden 08 Christmas

Noted vegan and an associate (and close friend) of Jeb.

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• Actor Allusion: The name "Terry Lesler" is nearly identical to "Larry Tesler", the name of the character Robertson played in The Internet and You.
• Cloud Cuckoolander: In Borderline Forever his obsession with being vegan escalates to the point where he considers having hobbies as a vegan wrong.
  Terry: What do you need hobbies for? You're a vegan, not a man.
• Edible Bludgeon: Uses a carrot as a knife in Borderline Forever.
• Heel Realization: In You're Not An RPG Guy, he realizes he and the rest of the gang have been assholes to Scott by trying to force him to play games against his tastes when Target Employee orders only ribs for everyone (which, as a vegan, he can't eat).
• Meat Versus Veggies: Downplayed; he and Jeb resented Chet Shaft for being a "born-again carnivore". This trope then gets played up in later episodes, where Terry is incredibly strict about what constitutes a vegan diet. It later gets exaggerated in Borderline Forever where it escalates to the point of not eating any food at all, showing off the Vegan Food Pyramid which is just a triangle labeled NO.
  Scott: Do you do anything other than being vegan?
  Terry: Well, I don't eat fruit for fun.
  Scott: But you're vegan.
  Terry: Yeah, my other passion is malnutrition.
• Nice Guy: Not at the level of Wendy's Employee, but he is at least decently polite and noticeably nicer than Rex and Jeb. This is clear when he and Jeb recall how Chet was kicked of their group, Terry was disappointed but Jeb outright insulted Shaft.
• What the Hell, Hero?: When Scott apologizes to him and Jeb Jab at the end of A Very Madden 08 Christmas for framing the Vegans Anonymous Gathering group, Terry doesn't accept Scott's apology.
  Scott: I'm sorry I got so carried away with the whole Madden 08 thing, it just means a lot to me. You all like different Maddens, and I have to learn to accept that, and if you don't push Madden '09 on me, I won't push Madden '08 on you.
  Terry Lesler: You kidnapped and framed us!

Jeb Jab

Jebediah "Jeb" Jab

Played by: Sam Essig
First Appearance: A Very Madden 08 Christmas

"Is it Gex night?"

Another vegan and massive Fan Boy of Gex... in spite of never having played it.

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• Acronym and Abbreviation Overload: Likes to make and say acronyms out loud, much to the confusion of the people around him.
  Jeb: Well I'm RTSSW!
  Scott: What is that?
  Jeb: "Ready To Sue Steel Wool."
  Scott: Just say the full thing!
  Jeb: No, I'm busy today.
• Boring, but Practical: His weapon in the fight scene from Borderline Forever is a handgun. A handgun which he calls Gex.
• Cloud Cuckoolander: He's a massive fan of Gex but is so bad at identifying it that he thinks every game they play or activity they do is Gex, including a carwash.
• Divergent Character Evolution: Initially was just part of the "Vegan Pair" alongside Terry, but over time while Terry became more fleshed out as "the Vegan of the group" Jeb accumulated new interests (such as Gex) to further distinguish the pair.
• Everyone Has Standards: He may be willing to believe that his uncle died three times, but he doesn't believe that Rex's father died while playing Mario Party 2.
• Fanboy: Of the Gex series, to the point where he'll react to just about anything as being Gex-related. He's fallen victim to this mindset so much that when an actual Gex game is being played, he doesn't recognize it as such.
• Insane Troll Logic: Calls Gex (read: Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash) pretending to "not" be Gex and then coming out as a bad tennis game "such a classic Gex move" because Gex is a terrible tennis game.
  • Strange case of the troll logic having a point, because a platformer would technically be a very bad tennis game, by virtue of being another genre entirely.
• Meat Versus Veggies: Downplayed; he and Terry kicked Chet Shaft out of the vegan community after they found out that Chet bought milk. During the course of Borderline Forever, Jeb considers quitting and ultimately quits veganism, becoming a vegetarian instead.
• Noodle Incident: Apparently, Jeb went through a car wash alongside Scott in the past and thought said car wash was Gex.
• Not What I Signed on For: Immediately calls Rex out and quits the Waste Chasers upon realizing that it was a front.
• What the Hell, Hero?: When Scott apologizes to him and Terry Lesler at the end of A Very Madden 08 Christmas for framing the Vegans Anonymous Gathering group, Jeb asks for a restraining order.

Wendy's Employee

Wendy's Employee

Played by: Dominic Mattero
First Appearance: A Very Madden 08 Christmas

A Wendy's employee who first appears to provide emotional support for a troubled Scott, eventually becoming part of his friend circle.

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• Always Identical Twins: Is one with his brother Target Employee.
• Character Death: He gets murdered in The Great Mysteries of Gaming and dies in Memory Cards, the latter of which sticks longer.
• Exactly What It Says on the Tin: He's a Wendy's employee.
• His Name Really Is "Barkeep": The Great Mysteries of Gaming reveals that his name is actually Wendy's Employee.
• Lame Last Words: In Memory Cards: "Not my Leg Day legs, I needed them for Leg Days!"
• Nice Guy: Probably one of the nicest of Scott's "friends".
• The "Fun" in "Funeral": His funeral ends up being hijacked by a jealous (and still very much alive) Rex Mohs, with him getting kicked out of his own coffin.

Target Employee

Target Employee

Played by: Dominic Mattero
First Appearance: Speed Dating

A Target employee who also just so happens to be Wendy's Employee's twin brother. He joins Scott's group during their speed dating practice after his brother's untimely death in Memory Cards.

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• Always Identical Twins: He's the same as his brother Wendy's Employee, but with a Target uniform.
• Backup Twin: He's Wendy's Employee in all but name and job.
• Exactly What It Says on the Tin: He's a Target employee. Later becomes a Defied Trope when Target Employee quits Target to pursue a job at Wendy's to break his character tropes.
• Improbable Weapon User: He tries using ribs as a weapon against one of the Green Bay Packers in Borderline Forever.
• Innocently Insensitive: He genuinely can't see what problems Terry Lestler, a militant vegan, could have with ribs.
• Nice Guy: He's about equally as calm as his brother.
• Replacement Goldfish: Exaggerated, since he’s basically a palette swap of his twin brother.
• Trademark Favorite Food: Ribs. In You're Not an RPG Guy, he orders half a dozen ribs for everyone else present and pesters Terry to order more while the latter is ordering stale pretzels over the phone. Even when his mouth is taped shut he still yells for ribs.
• Writing Around Trademarks: Is referred to simply as "The Employee" in the Monopoly set, and the television intro scrubs his costume of logos.

Rex Mohs

Rex Mohs

Played by: Eric Turney
First Appearance: Homecoming

"If there's one thing I hate more than the Green Bay Packers... it's sex."

A school dance chaperone who hates alcohol and sex with a burning passion.

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• A Birthday, Not a Break: The events of "Borderline Forever" take place on his birthday.
• A God Am I: In The Gifts of Gaming, he becomes convinced that he is Jesus Christ upon walking on a frozen lake.
• Arc Villain: Of Toys to Life, being a conman who's secretly trying to get Scott to take the excess figures of his cousin Dex by pretending to run a fake company called the Waste Chasers.
• Aside Glance: Gives one at the end of Chibi-Robo Zip Lash when talking about how much he loves seeing therapists start their own business. Apparently, this was due to him accidentally putting fake blood on the side of his face that faces away from the camera.
  Eric, upon sitting down: Yeah, I'm a f*cking idiot.
• Bandaged Face: He comes to the gala in It's A Bargain Bin Christmas with bandages over his face (and his sunglasses over the bandages), due to doctors mistaking his case of murder for burn wounds.
• Berserk Button: He really doesn't like tennis — unless you can grow big during the match. He absolutely loses it when Scott gets to review the "Classic Tennis" mode in Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash (which is just regular tennis).
  "Alright, you know what? That's the last f**king straw, alright? I don't f**king need this, ALRIGHT?! F**K YOU, F**K THIS, AND F**K TENNIS!!"
• Big "NO!": Lets out multiple in Homecoming, usually when he spots what he thinks is beer (Or later on, not a beer).
• Characterization Marches On: In Homecoming, he's a lot more unhinged compared to his later appearances starting with The Great Mysteries of Gaming.
• Death Seeker: Parodied in "The Funeral". While Jeb vents about his fear of death at Wendy's Employee's funeral, Rex responds by saying he can't wait to die, as death is the exact opposite of sex, his mortal enemy.
• Extreme Omnisexual:
  • Inverted. Rex is perhaps the only example of an Extreme Asexual; one of his defining personality traits is a severe, raw hatred of sex in all its forms.
  • Subverted in Speed Dating where he immediately backs off of his claim that he'll fuck anything with a face since he was just trying to put on a tough guy persona for the speed dating practice.
• Failed a Spot Check: He somehow mistook a Macbook for a beer.
• Gun Nut: While not a commonly seen part of the character, he is able to instantly identify a firearm as a Beretta 92X Full-Size Handgun with just a single glance.
• Hidden Depths: If his self-introduction in Great Mysteries of Gaming and Speed Dating is to be believed, he’s apparently also a historian.
• Hot-Blooded: He's the most tempermental and passionate of the group, typically acting headstrong and aggressive when it comes to topics he feels strongly about, usually sex.
• Improbable Weapon User: He weaponizes a chastity belt in Borderline Forever when fighting off the Green Bay Packers.
• It's All About Me: In The Funeral, he gets mad that the funeral that he and the others are attending is for Wendy's Employee and not himself, which escalates to him hijacking said funeral and making it about himself to the point of him laying in Wendy's Employee's former casket.
• Major Injury Underreaction: Reacts to Jeb Jab absentmindedly plunging a knife into his arm by blankly staring at it.
• Necromancer: After joining a cult Rex is now a novice necromancer, but can only revive a random half dead person as a ghost.
• No Indoor Voice: Has a habit of yelling indoors, usually out of anger. Later episodes have him mellow out a bit.
• Sanity Ball: Surprisingly holds this in The Great Mysteries of Gaming when he's the only one who takes Chet's sudden death seriously.
  Rex: Somebody f*cking died!
• Single-Target Sexuality: The only thing that makes him go against his chastity is... the economy.
  Rex: God, I wanna f*ck the economy.
• Spell My Name With An S: Rex's last name has varied in spelling, though Word of Scott eventually confirmed that "Mohs" is correct.
• Strange Minds Think Alike: Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash was a tennis game whose sole selling point is allowing players to grow big...which is exactly the only thing that could convince Rex to play a video game about tennis.
• Unexplained Recovery: In Donkey Kong: Barrel Blast | The Curse he somehow went from flatlining after excess exposure by the titular game's hormones to suddenly just coming back from life after Scott made his speech.
• Vow of Celibacy: The only thing Rex kills is, in his own words, "not abstinence".

Jerry Attricks

Dr. Jerry Attricks, PhuD

Played by: Justin Womble
First Appearance: A Very Madden 08 Christmas (As a newscaster), Animal Crossing: amiibo Festival | The Dark Age of Nintendo (As a therapist)

"So, tell me where it all began."

A former news anchor who becomes Scott's therapist during the Dark Age of Nintendo trilogy of videos, later becoming part of Scott's friend group.

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• Actor Allusion: In the final part of the Dark Age of Nintendo trilogy, he mentions that he tried to be a news anchor in the past, a nod to Womble's previous role as the news anchor in A Very Madden 08 Christmas. He returns to the role temporarily in It Came from the Nintendo eShop.
• The Alcoholic: Several scenes show him hitting the bottle hard. His New Year's Resolution was to drink more.
  Scott: It's July.
  Jerry, pounding a beer: Yeah!
• The Artifact: His job as a therapist is often brought up but hardly relevant past his debut appearance as he now shows up alongside Scott's friends. In fact, his old news anchor job has had more relevance lately.
• Berserk Button: Shapes, especially circles. Justified, since a shape apparently killed his father.
  Jerry: I F*CKING HATE CIRCLES!
• Characterization Marches On: In Animal Crossing: amiibo Festival, while he definitely wasn't quite all there, he was more or less the Straight Man to Scott who gave reasonable advice. Over time however, he grew into a Large Ham who's clearly unfit for his job, and is prone to using Insane Troll Logic (such as believing the best way to resuscitate a brain-dead Scott is to try and smother him with a pillow).
• Given Name Reveal: Doesn't reveal his name to Scott until the very end of the Chibi-Robo Zip Lash video.
• Hidden Depths: He used to be in the army.
• Horrible Judge of Character: Invites Steel Wool to Scott’s Christmas Party in The Gifts of Gaming despite the fact that he’s a vengeful ghoul who tried to murder Scott and his friends while still alive. Justified, since Jerry didn’t join the group until after Steel Wool had died and wasn’t present for his revival.
• Improbable Weapon User: Uses his clipboard in Borderline Forever's fight scene.
• Large Ham: Somehow even more of one than the rest of the cast, especially his bouts of Suddenly Shouting.
• Mirror Monologue: He uses a mirror to "go to therapy." We see this in action halfway through the Animal Crossing: amiibo Festival episode (with him venting out his frustrations over Scott), and in the opening of the Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash episode (with him giving himself a pep talk in front of his mirror).
• No Indoor Voice: Is also rarely quiet to the point where he frequently clips the microphone audio during indoor scenes.
• Noodle Incident: Had sex with a ghost once, something he does not want to repeat.
• Phony Degree: Jerry is confirmed to not be a licensed psychologist. He does advertise that he has something, but not a PhD.
  Scott: You have PhuD?
  Jerry: I have PhuD.
• Psycho Psychologist: Dr. Attricks really isn't all that there to begin with.
• Punny Name: Jerry Attricks is based on geriatrics.
• Suddenly Shouting: Frequently engages in this.
  • Became so associated with the character that in appearances after The Dark Age of Nintendo trilogy his audio is always clipping, even if he's speaking at a perfectly normal volume.
• Therapist in Therapy: He goes to therapy twice a week, via talking to himself in the mirror.
• Vocal Dissonance: Has a soft female singing voice despite having a very screechy male speaking voice.
• Worst Aid: His method of resuscitating a recently-brain-dead Scott is to waterboard him. Naturally, it works. Some prior attempts also included holding a gun to his head and suffocating him with his pillow.

Antagonists

Steel Wool

Officer Steel Wool

Played by: Jarred Wise
First Appearance: A Very Madden 08 Christmas

"Officer Wool. Steel Wool."

• Arch-Enemy: Scott's only recurring enemy and when he's involved murder usually follows, (not to say they won't get better afterwards).
• Back from the Dead: At the end of Memory Cards, he rises from his grave alongside Chet Shaft. Followed up upon in Gaming Revivals, where his resurrection is completed and he returns as a ghost.
• Big Bad: Of The Great Mysteries of Gaming.
• The Bus Came Back: First appeared in A Very Madden 08 Christmas in 2017 and didn't appear again until The Great Mysteries of Gaming two years later.
• Cool Mask: Wears one when he's revealed to be the killer.
• Easily Forgiven: Despite all the murders he committed, he appears to have been let back on the force as of It Came from the Nintendo eShop.
• Greater-Scope Villain: As the defendant being prosecuted for murder and the one who hired Liza Lotts to defend him, he's this in The Trial.
• Killed Off for Real: In The Trial, he's sentenced to death for his crimes and the last we see of him after he confesses in court is his gravestone.
• Killer Cop: Murdered no less than five people.
• Knight Templar: His ultimate motive for committing 5 murders?
  "Chet deserved it. He laundered."^*At least, that was for his first murder. Everything else was just his embarrassment.
• Laughably Evil: He’s the closest thing the series has to a Big Bad but that doesn’t mean he’s taken any more seriously than any other character on the show.
• Murder Is the Best Solution: Rather than just keep the fact he murdered Chet hidden, he decided to murder everyone else because he was embarrassed.
• The Name Is Bond, James Bond: He introduces himself as "Officer Wool. Steel Wool."
• Plot Allergy: He's allergic to the law, which is why he's not subjected to a lie detector test during his murder trial.
• Police Are Useless: After being assigned to solve the case of the missing Madden 18 copies, he proceeds to drive around in circles for the next 30 minutes until his fellow officers get fed up and decide to take the case themselves. And then there's the time he murdered four additional people because he was embarrassed about murdering Shaft.
• Paper-Thin Disguise: The aforementioned mask only covers his eyes and yet Scott completely falls for it when confronted by him.
• Took a Level in Jerkass: His killing of Chet Shaft was in his eyes a necessary evil, and the attempted murders of the other guys were mostly done out of being too shy to admit he killed Chet and was leading the crew around. When accidentally revived by Rex in Gaming Revivals he’s much more vindictive and spiteful, goading Terry into shooting him (which naturally doesn’t work since Steel Wool’s a ghost and thus intangible) and attempting to smother Rex in hay.
• Uncertain Doom: It's unclear whether he was arrested, fully killed by the Madden Curse, or escaped at the end of Great Mysteries of Gaming. The Trial reveals he survived, but being the murderer, he's also the defendant of the titular trial, and at the end, he meets a much more certain doom. Then Memory Cards comes around and suggests he's returned from the grave...which is fully realised in Gaming Revivals, when Rex accidentally revives him. By the end of the episode, he’s still at large. Then he gets carried away by an angry eShop ghost towards the end of It Came from the Nintendo eShop and isn’t seen for the rest of the episode, leaving his fate uncertain for now.

Supreme Leader

Supreme Leader

Played By: Scott Wozniak (masked), RelaxAlax (unmasked)
First Appearance: It's Awesome Baby!

"People need to realize there's only ONE sports game that deserves recognition!"

^{Click here to see him unmasked.}

A mysterious figure who rewrote the timeline to make Dick Vitale's Awesome Baby College Hoops the only sports game.

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• Big Bad: Of It's Awesome Baby.
• The Cameo: He showed up as one of the Ohio citizens at the end of Borderline Forever when the border is defeated, but was eventually removed from the video entirely after its release.
• Contractual Genre Blindness: He was fully aware that Jeb Jab's Look Behind You was a lie but as the world's biggest Dick Vitale fanboy, he can't take the chance that his idol is not behind him.
• Evil Counterpart: He's basically Scott the Woz as he was in the previous Christmas special.
• Evil Overlord: He rules over a Bad Future where a Dick Vitale's "Awesome, Baby!" College Hoops-themed dictatorship controls the United States.
• Fanboy: He's the biggest/only fan of Dick Vitale's Awesome Baby College Hoops.
• Malevolent Masked Man: He claims to be constantly masked because since he's not Dick Vitale, he's got no reason to show his face.
• No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: When Scott confronts him in a direct fight, he nearly kills Scott then and there without the latter being able to put up a meaningful fight.

Dr. Anna May

Dr. Anna May

Voiced by: Kristi Rothrock
First Appearance: Anime Games

"It's human nature to give a sh*t about anime. And you, my friend, are the only one to reject it."

The protector of all things anime.

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• Big Bad: Of Anime Games.
• Disproportionate Retribution: May is so furious about Scott disrespecting anime that she decides to destroy him.
• Emerging from the Shadows: She is briefly shrouded in darkness when first introduced.
• Fan Boy: She is, as the name implies, obsessed with anime.
• Morally Ambiguous Doctorate: What exactly her doctorate is in is unknown.
• Motive Rant: May gives one as soon as she's introduced.
• Nerds Are Virgins: She, an anime enthusiast, describes herself as "the guardian of virginity".
• Punny Name: "Anna May" is a pretty obvious play on "anime".
• Vow of Celibacy: She refers to herself as "the guardian of virginity".
• Weaksauce Weakness: She is instantly defeated by Mighty No. 9, which is apparently enough to make any anime fan back off.

The Anti-Gex

The Anti-Gex

First Appearance: Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash | The Darkest Age of Nintendo

A sewer monster made of the copies of Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash that Scott had thrown into the toilet, referred to by Scott and his friends as "the Anti-Gex".

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• The Antichrist: Parodied, it's called the Anti-Gex, as Dr. Attricks claims it's the opposite of everything Gex after it assimilates Jeb. He's right.
• Arc Villain: Of the Dark Age of Nintendo arc, as it represents Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash as a whole.
• Blob Monster: It's made of sewer water and copies of Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash.
• Create Your Own Villain: It attacks Scott and his friends as revenge for ditching the copies of Chibi-Robo! Zip Lash that make up its body.
• Running Gagged: Scott's encounter with and subsequent destruction of this creature is what ends the running gag of Scott throwing copies of the game down the toilet.
• Silent Antagonist: It can't really speak - being a gestalt entity of sewer water and 3DS game cases, it lacks the requisite vocal cords.
• Weaksauce Weakness: It falls apart from exposure to a single copy of Gex: Enter the Gecko.

Liza Lotts

Liza Lotts

Played by: Megan Mockensturm
First Appearance: The Trial

"Hi! Liza Lotts, Real Lawyer."

• Amoral Attorney: Loves defending murderers in court, and will use any trick in the book to make someone else come off as the culprit instead.
• Big Bad: As the attorney defending Steel Wool, she's this in The Trial.
• Card-Carrying Villain: Openly admits to loving murderers and defending them in court.
• Chewbacca Defense: About the only way to describe her unique method of defending Steel Wool. It says a lot that Scott, himself one of the weirder people in the room, is reduced to the Only Sane Man while in her presence.
• Punny Name: Hers is pronounced as "lies a lots".
• The Smurfette Principle: Excluding Dr. Anna May, she's currently the only female character to appear in the entire series.

Brett Favre

Brett Favre

Played by: Himself
First Appearance: Borderline Forever

"That's it. I'm tired of you Madden 08 fans."

Former Green Bay Packers quarterback, and the cover athlete of Madden 09.

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• Beam-O-War: His spaceship engages in one of these with Scott's ship, though neither side manages to hit the other and the beam simply explodes.
• Disproportionate Retribution: Scott doesn't like Madden 09, so his response is to team up with the Blue Border and kill Scott and his friends.
• The Dragon: Works for the Blue Border.

The Blue Border

The Blue Border

First Appearance: Nintendo Switch Wish List

"I AM ALL POWERFUL. I AM ETERNAL LIFE!"

The blue border around Scott's videos.

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• Allegorical Character: It's basically a personification of Scott experiencing burnout, and having a midlife crisis. Scott starts noticing it when he is having a minor melt down about video games. He even sings a song complaining about his lot in life a little later. When he accepts the blue border into himself it's also him accepting his destiny, reviewing stupid Nintendo games.
• Big Bad: Of Borderline Forever, having gained sentience and affecting more than just Scott.
• Evil Is Petty / Parasites Are Evil: Needing a host to survive, its entire purpose in life is to mildly inconvenience others by being a living Interface Screw.
• Hoist by His Own Petard: The Blue Border targeted Scott because his obsessive tendencies made him suseptable to the border's infection. The object of Scott's obsessive tendencies, stupid Nintendo games, proves to be the Border's weakness due to their concentrated virginity.
• Sealed Inside a Person-Shaped Can: At the end of Borderline Forever, Scott assimilates the border into himself so no one else has to live with it.
• Suddenly Voiced: In Borderline Forever, the same episode wherein it's revealed to have gained sentience.
• Weaksauce Weakness: It claims to be eternal life, thus its weakness is... virginity. Or, more accurately, stupid Nintendo games and Madden 08.

Other Characters

Chet Shaft

Dr. Chet Shaft

Played by: Will Kanwischer
First Appearance: Game Stores

"You think you know how to run a business? I know a guy with a Nester shirt, okay?! I EARNED THIS JOB!"

A (former) manager for Games on a Shelf, the local game store Scott tries to apply for a job in.

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• Back from the Dead: He and Officer Steel Wool rise from their graves at the end of Memory Cards. In The Gifts of Gaming, his resurrection is confirmed to have been completed (as a result of the events of Gaming Revivals) as Scott meets him as a human once again.
• Friendless Background: Implied. It seems that the dinner party he hosts in Great Mysteries of Gaming is a family tradition where the Shaft family invite close friends. Chet instead invited his ex-coworker (who is scared of him), two former friends (one of whom outright insulted and despised him), someone who is being paid to chaperone said dinner party, an employee of a place he stole from, and the officer who pulled him over for money laundering.
• The Friend Nobody Likes: Scott’s terrified of him after running his shop out of business, Jeb Jab calls him a bitch and ends their friendship because he bought milk despite being a vegan, Rex Mohs and the Wendy’s Employee barely even know him and Steel Wool is so disgusted by his crimes that he murders him in cold blood. By the time of his death, Terry was seemingly the only person who was still at least cordial to him.
• Killed Off for Real: Rather than be be treated for murder like everyone else (which is apparently possible), he just died. He's taken up being a ghost as a hobby since.
• Morally Ambiguous Doctorate: Is a known money launderer, and apparently has a doctorate in... something.
• NEET: After the store he managed got tanked, he became a "doer of all things nothing".
• Who Murdered the Asshole: He fills his party with people who have petty greivances against him and thus everyone is a suspect when he's murdered.

DJ Abstinence

DJ Abstinence

Played by: Jacob Rahe
First Appearance: Homecoming

The DJ hired for Scott's homecoming party. He would eventually switch jobs and become a judge.

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• The Bus Came Back: First appeared in Homecoming in September 2019 and wouldn't be seen again until The Trial almost a full year later.
• Dumbass DJ: Seeing as how he called the police and asked them about the legality of giving alcohol to teenagers without knowing that they'd bust the homecoming dance Scott hosted, DJ Abstinence...isn't especially bright.
• Last-Name Basis: His first name has yet to be revealed; he's only known as DJ/Judge Abstinence.
• New Job as the Plot Demands: He's also a judge, as shown in The Trial.

Kay Swiss

Kay Swiss

Played by: Jeffery Pohlman-Beshuk
First Appearance: It's a Bargain Bin Christmas

"This economy's about to be the f*cking best."

A man who works for Bankruptcy Patrol.

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• Butt-Monkey: Regularly gets doors slammed into his face.
• Flat Character: Not much is known about him other than that he loves the economy.
• Punny Name: His name is likely to be a pun on the K-Swiss brand of tennis shoes. Why he's named after tennis shoes of all things is unknown.
• What the Hell, Hero?: He questions Scott's sanity when Scott tries to take out a loan...to fund the charity work that Scott's hosting specifically to handle his bankruptcy problem.
• Work Off the Debt: He offers to Scott an opportunity to do charity work so he can take himself out of the bankruptcy he got himself into from taking out too many loans.

Vince Young

Vince Young

Played by: Himself
First Appearance: It's a Bargain Bin Christmas

"Keep up the great work, bro."

Former Tennessee Titans quarterback, and the cover athlete of Madden 08.

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• Big Damn Heroes: Saves Scott and his friends from Brett Favre in Borderline Forever.

Reporty Jim

Reporty Jim

Played by: Scott Wozniak
First Appearance: Console Wars

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• Going for the Big Scoop: Deconstructed. He dies on the battlefield of the console war he was supposed to report on.
• We Hardly Knew Ye: The first we see of him is his corpse.

Boomer

Boomer

Played by: Jacob Rahe
First Appearance: A Very Madden 08 Christmas

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• Noodle Incident: Has apparently driven potential clients of the Vegan's Anonymous Gathering away with Madden 09 on at least one occasion.

Wrong Opiniony Mike

Wrong Opiniony Mike

First Appearance: It's Awesome Baby!

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• Commander Contrarian: Implied. His nickname is "Wrong Opiniony" Mike, and he doesn't say he dislikes Madden 08 until after Scott gushes about it during the song "A Madden Just For Me".
• The Complainer Is Always Wrong: Upon expressing his dislike of Madden 08, Scott calls him "a f*cking disgrace".
• The Voice

Sweepstakes Winner Announcery Jim

Sweepstakes Winner Announcery Jim

Played By: Scott Wozniak
First Appearance: It's Awesome Baby!

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• Deus ex Machina: He's the reason Scott was able to return Madden '08 to the newly-restored timeline.
• Radio Contest: Announces the winner of one.
• Remember the New Guy?: Apparently he's Scott's old pal, even though the first we hear of him is in It's Awesome Baby!.
• The Voice: As he contacts Scott through a phone call, we never see his face.

God

God

Voiced by: videogamedunkey
First Appearance: You're Not an RPG Guy: A Scott The Woz Christmas

"Hello. My name is God."

Scott mentions God at various points throughout the series and sees Him for the first time when an RPG knocks Scott unconscious.

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• Actor Allusion: He has a lengthy discussion with Scott about how it's okay to not like RPGs. Dunkey, the person voicing Him in You're Not an RPG Guy, has expressed a lack of interest in the genre before.
• Reality-Breaking Paradox: In Mario Kart 8 Deluxe | Newton's Worst Nightmare Again, when Scott breaks the space-time continuum, he tries to convince God that Mario Kart 8 Deluxe isn't just Mario Kart 8 again in an attempt to return the universe back to normal. It doesn't work.
• Skewed Priorities: Between literally raining on Scott's parade during his streak of playing console games outdoors, apparently being strict about video games' aspect ratios, and having created humans to not like RPGs, even God's priorities are sorted oddly.
• Unseen No More: God wasn't seen at all until You're Not an RPG Guy.
• You Cannot Grasp the True Form: When Scott sees God, He appears as a ball of white light.

Hector Andfriends

Hector Andfriends

Played by: Jack Douglass
First Appearance: Borderline Forever

"That's not the name of the show, this is my name, dammit!"

Host of "Throats for Thought" and not "Hector and Friends", damnit!

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• Get Out!: His reaction to Rex trying to spread the word of the border.
• Real Joke Name: He opens the show with a peeved statement about how Hector Andfriends is his name, not the show's.

Dex Mohs

Dex Mohs

Played by: Zak
First Appearance: Toys to Life

The young cousin of Rex Mohs and founder of the Waste Chasers.

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• Con Man: The Waste Chasers was a scam to offload Dex's toys to life junk into other people's homes.
• Merlin Sickness: If Rex and Jeb are to be believed, then Dex is fourteen years old when first seen in Toys to Life, then thirteen, then turning twelve, then nine, then turning seven the following fall. However...
• Vague Age: ...the Waste Chasers were prone to age miscalculations.

Police Employee

Police Employee

Played by: Dominic Mattero
First Appearance: It Came from the Nintendo eShop

The cousin of Target Employee and Wendy's Employee, a police officer who watches over Scott after he gets arrested over Rex eating a 3DS he gave to him for Halloween.

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