(For the full effect, read in the voice of Roger Craig Smith. See here for his character page.)
Buongiorno, tropers. And welcome to my humble self-demonstrating page. Please, allow me to introduce myself.
I am Ezio Auditore, son of Giovanni Auditore, husband of Sofia, father of Flavia and Marcello Auditore, and Master Assassino. I was born in the city of Firenze in 1459, and was a fighter from that very day (or so my father told me). I led a comfortable life back then. My interests were mainly in, shall we say, the study of the female form. And I was quite studious in that regard. Alas, that life was brought to a halt when my father, and both of my brothers were arrested and executed for treason. From there, I discovered that my father was a member of a top secret organization known as "The Assassins". After fleeing Firenze with my mother Maria and my sister Claudia to go and live with my Uncle Mario, I decided to don my father's Assassins robes and avenge his death.
From there, I learned many things about the ways of the Assassin. After avenging my familia's death, I went on to halt a conspiracy by the Pazzi familia against the Medicis, as well as end the lives of many members of the order the Assassins oppose: the Templars. In my journeys, I came upon an artifact of unimaginable power: The Apple Of Eden. With it, I can bring down whole armies of men without lifting a finger. But I also learned many truths about humanity, where we came from and who we are. I have also accomplished much for our order. I brought down the Borgia Familia, rescued Leonardo da Vinci, fought in the Bonfire Of The Vanities, and hunted for the Masyaf Keys to gain access to the vault of Altair Ibn La Ahad.
After leaving the life of an Assassin behind, I settled down with my wife, Sofia Sartor, in a small villa near my home city of Firenze. I had two children with her, my daughter Flavia, and my son Marcello. I lived a mostly quiet life, until I was approached by an Assassin from the Order in China named Shao Jun. She told me that she sought my guidance to help unite the Assassins of China. I was reluctant to at first, having retired by the Assassin's lifestyle. However, Jun was determined to learn my ways, so I relented. She learned many things from me, in combat and stealth, but also of the importance of love within the order. She soon left for her homeland to spread my teachings and help the Chinese Assassins flourish. My life's work accomplished, I then had a sit down, and died.
These are the tropes that I feel best describe me:
- The Ace: Si, troper. I am considered a legend among the Assassins for my accomplishments. I can only imagine how the Templars regard me.
- Actor Allusion: Somehow I found myself sharing space with that overweight puppet-building megalomaniac. All because I sound a hedgehog? I have no idea what he was talking about or what those glittering gemstones were...but rest assured he would regret it.
- Arch-Enemy: That bastardo Borgia family were this to me in my lifetime, though Rodrigo and Cesare are likely the prominent examples.
- Been There, Shaped History: I have shaped so many historical events. I liberated Roma from the Borgia, I helped stop the Pazzi conspiracy and personally hung Francesco's body from the Palazzo de Signoria, I helped Christopher Columbus ensure a journey to the new world, helped bring down Prince Ahmet in Constantinople, and was involved in basically every event from The Italian Renaissance. Oh yes, I was also involved with no less than three Popes. It was also my privilege to be close friends with the magnifico Leonardo da Vinci, as well as an acquaintance of Niccolo Machiavelli. Si, they were great men indeed.
- Big Brother Instinct: If you value your continued existence, do not break my sister's heart. Just ask Duccio if you don't believe me.
- Call to Agriculture: In my later years, after leaving the life of an Assassin behind, I decided to move to a vineyard with Sofia and my children.
- The Charmer: Si. The ladies can certainly attest to that.
- Due to the Dead: I may be an Assassin, but every target I kill should still get a proper sendoff.
- The Dutiful Son: Nothing means more to me than family. I will do anything for my mother and my sister, and will not tolerate anyone bringing them harm.
- Happily Married: I consider the happiest days of my life to be with Sofia.
- Heartbroken Badass: When Cristina died in the Bonfire Of The Vanities, something within me withered. Sofia was the balm I needed for that.
- The Mentor: I have trained and mentored many an assassin in my time, helping to build up the orders of Roma and Constantinople. My last student was Shao Jun. I can only hope my teachings helped her rebuild the Assassins of China.
- Nice Guy: A man with no love in his heart has no right to bare the rank of assassin, mio amico.
- Old Master: I taught Yusuf when I was in my fifties, and Shao Jun when I was 65.
- Rambunctious Italian: In my younger days, I was quite the hot-blooded young man. Age doused that fire, however.
- Really Gets Around: In my youth, I must have slept with every woman in Firenze who was not related to me.
- Silver Fox: What can I say? We Auditores age like fine wine.
