Film watched: The Girl in Lovers' Lane
- Tom and Crow take a shop drill and try to give themselves belly buttons. Joel allows it, but only after copious whining and wheedling from the Bots.
- For the Invention Exchange, Dr. Forrester and Frank present evil baseball promotions, such as "Colorless, Odorless, Toxic Gas Night" and "Used Syringe Night". Joel and the Bots have combined Doc Martins with MAD cartoonist Don Martin to make a wacky new fashion statement.
- Joel and the Bots put on their weather-beaten Stetsons and break out their acoustic guitars for "The Train Song".
- Inspired by the "beating" scene from today's movie, Servo and Crow prepare a prank involving Joel's old pinball machine. Joel sees right through it, so the Bots are forced to hog-pile him where he stands.
- Crow interrupts Joel and Servo's home science experiment to show off his impression of Jack Elam's character from the movie. When it fails to impress, Crow gets defensive.
- Crow and Servo get carried away coming up with an alternate ending to The Girl in Lover's Lane, one involving aliens, dinosaurs, and pygmies. Joel reads some fan mail, while Dr. Forrester tries to shut TV's Frank up with a railroad spike through the head.
The MST3K presentation of this movie contains examples of:
- Accidental Misnaming: Joel and the Bots mishear Bix Dugan's name as "Big Stupid", and keep referring to him as such.
- Alternate Ending: The final host segment consists of Joel and the Bots rewriting the ending to remove Carrie's death from the plot. The Amazing Colossal Episode Guide explains that this really was very therapeutic for everyone involved with the show.
- Contemplate Our Navels: Literally Crow and Tom each drill themselves a bellybutton. Upon getting his, Crow starts contemplating it.
- Continuity Nod: "To live like the E-lam, to be like the E-lam..."
- Joel and the Bots compare Jesse to Torgo.
- Cutting the Knot: When Crow and Tom's attempt at recreating the alley beating scene with Joel keeps failing, they opt to just beat him up while he's playing pinball.
- Fanon Dis Continuity: In-universe; Crow and Servo, upset at the ending, come up with their own instead, which involves Carrie living, Jesse getting abducted by aliens, Danny and Bix taming dinosaurs in a post-apocalyptic world, and a kingdom of pygmies. Caught up in the general enthusiasm, TV's Frank comes up with his own, which involves Bix as a being of pure energy.
- Ho Yay: "And once again, Bix saves Danny from a heterosexual experience."
- In Name Only: The Bots' Alternate Ending for this movie.
- Mondegreen: Joel and the 'bots mishear Bix Dugan as "Big Stupid" and continue to call him this. They're not far off.
- Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: Crow and Servo's alternate ending is just full of this.
- Spoof Aesop: In Crow and Servo's bizarre alternate ending to the movie.Servo: And the moral is "Never love a pygmy!"Crow: Because... they're immortal!Servo: Yeah!Crow: And they can fly!Servo: Mm-hm!Crow: And you can't fly!
- They Killed Kenny Again: TV's Frank gets nailed through the skull with a railroad spike.
- Train Song: "The Train Song" a.k.a. "What a Pleasant Journey". Joel tries to rhyme "Circle Pines" and "magazines" (he changed the latter's pronunciation from "maga-zeens" to "maga-zeyens"), and Crow takes the song (and the train) completely off the rails with his verse.
- With Lyrics: Joel and the Bots make lyrics up for the movie's theme tune.Joel: (singing) The Girl In Lovers' Lane...
Crow: With Jack Elam, not Jack La-Lanne. (Servo: Not La-La-a-ane...)
Joel: And lots of actors, there's no time to name...
Crow: A screenplay by Jo Heims that's pretty lame. (Servo: Pretty lame...)
Servo: The entire crew, feels a sense of shame. (Crow: Shame.) If only they'd had / half a brain / they could attain / a measure of fame / from a film like Shane! / But no. To their disdain, / The Girl In Lov-ers Lane!
Joel: (Makes Rawhide whip crack noise.)